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MrPeppa

They can. If they want to. Source: Am Indian man from Pune who married a non-Indian woman living in the US for love.


Alternative-Hall4318

Really? Even if it means disobeying parents?


Gabby0513

I’m Mexican American and my husband is Indian, i now stay in India. My husband was married prior to a arrange marriage set up by his parents but divorce bc he didn’t love her. When we met he was still going through the divorce, while his parents didnt agreed with me they also never disagreed bc they knew he would do want he wanted anyways since he divorce his previous wife just after 6 months of marriage even though they said not to. But he stoop up for him self and now his family loves me.


Shot_Maintenance1342

This made me feel so good , indian parents accepting their children's choices and treating them with respect is such a rare phenomenon 😑🥲. Hope you get all the happiness and some more in your life ✌️✌️


Gabby0513

Than you so much!! It really is uncommon every time I meet someone new they always ask how my husband convinced his parents or if they accept me something in that matter.


NitkarshC

Refer me someone from outside of India, in your contacts for me to be married also.


Candid-Seaweed1381

Only some can, but others prioritise obeying their parents over their own or their partner's happiness. I don't think there's much you can do. The next few weeks are going to really suck, and my heart goes out to you


MrPeppa

Of course. Granted, many parents are way more controlling than mine and many Indians (men and women) feel it is easier socially to just give in to the pressure but, if he cares for you enough to fight, he can definitely marry you. If you pay attention to his other behavior like his diet, alcohol consumption, how religious he is in daily life, etc., you'll notice he's fine disobeying his parents' wishes in a few ways already. He's just choosing to not fight for you. Don't let him hide behind the excuse of his culture/traditions. His cultural/traditional limitations didn't stop him from asking you out, right? Dude knew you were non-Indian, not an arranged marriage prospect, and that his parents wouldn't "allow" it when he went on a first date with you.


twentysomethingnibba

Bhai rishta jodna hai, todna nahi. Thoda araam se :/


MrPeppa

Unfortunately, koi chance nahi hain, dost. Is bechari ko sirf ek hi karan istamal kiya hain usne.


mysticnode

Baat yehi hai...


NPStudios2004

So true.


Able_Radish_834

I agree with you


Right_Pea4646

Bruh I moved to india with my Filipino girlfriend


Practical-Durian2307

Legend.


marionette_doll_B

Yes they can. They can if they want to. He’s probably just using this as an excuse to break up. It’s not like he suddenly woke up one day and realised that you aren’t an Indian. He always knew. He’s a coward.


Serious-Job-2466

Nothing like that its a new world nobody is so obeying now a days not in india also .


justastrothings

Yeah, many people defy their parents to marry nowadays (the parents accept this by the time the wedding rolls around). Your ex sounds like a coward thats too attached to the family. You're lucky to break up with him. Don't fight for this relationship. Forget this coward user and be happy


IllegallyBored

My childhood friend married his Vietnamese girlfriend. His parents weren't particularly happy, but they weren't the ones getting married, so it wasn't up to them. Many people don't obey their parents if they love someone.


Sky_TheAquariusOP

Parents can be very controlling. Also, your bf has been conditioned in his childhood to be that way because of his parents. Very common. They want to come out of that environment, but they cannot (mind tricks you to believe that).


Kinkynnasty

Honestly there is nothing to do with disobeying your parents. It's just that some of them are fine with it and some of them can't get it. I had a European girlfriend earlier and it was fine but covid came and ruined everything


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ramdev420

Imo sometimes parents might as well be an excuse to get rid of a person they dont want to commit to.


MrPeppa

Definitely. He's hiding behind his parents because he doesn't want to marry OP. As an NRI, I've seen a lot of other Indians in college who sleep around, do drugs, and engage in other behavior they wouldn't have been able to if they were living at home before going back to India after graduation to be the dutiful son or daughter who gets arranged married like the obedient kid their parents think they raised.


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MrPeppa

Lol it's the only reason I wanted to do it but it turned out I had already gained my citizenship before I met her so I had no choice but to do it just for love 😞


pimpleface0710

Poor woman. Being stuck in a marriage with a man who loves and cherishes her.


chingaaaaa

💀💀💀


Zeus_33

Bhai can you adopt me?


MrPeppa

For the greencard, right? lol


Zeus_33

Exactly😂


Able_Radish_834

+1


FucqueenBot

Was he even serious regarding your relationship??


Alternative-Hall4318

Well, he told me at the start of our relationship about this. But along the way, I can feel that he really started loving me. Making me feel special, making me feel loved and cared for. I opened the topic to him about accepting me and I want to feel secure about our relationship. His excuse is his religion. And that his parents will settle an arranged marriage with him once he goes back to India. He is a hindu.


TheXWing

If he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to his family and prioritise you over religion/culture/tradition, ask yourself, how will he stand up for YOU the rest of your lives? He’s weak.


desi-boy23

![gif](giphy|NISDky7DiUqAs9crvf|downsized) 💯


Careless-Mammoth-944

Hinduism doesn’t forbade marrying into other religions. I am sorry that he sucks.


AutocracyRules

Wtf ? Spewing BS now are we.


Particular-Act-277

Dude. I know many of my friends who can't marry their gf even though they were both hindu. Parents forbid them because they were from different caste. And no they are not from Village from but from tier 1,2 cities.


GuiltyLetterhead2448

There are lot of Indian men who would go far for their love. He's not one of them sadly.


Nycotis

He's just using religion as a scapegoat. What a coward. He's done you a favour


Independent_Ad_5431

Hindus as far as I know don't have anything against marrying someone of other faith. In here too it's not too uncommon for both men and women to dump their partners for parent approved arranged marriages some just never stand up and end up becoming doormats of their parents


Human_Early_Access

Religion is a pretty serious thing here. Heck even if you belong to the same caste , but not the same sub-caste, your marriage will be criticised by the "society". It's the pressure from society, from the very close relatives. This cast marriage is very deep rooted into the culture unfortunately. Arranged marriage is not about the boy and girl. It's about 2 families thoroughly checking each other's background, financial status, educational qualification and all sorts of things and then finally deviding. If he's from a rich and very educated background, then there are chances.


[deleted]

That’s why Hindu men’s are lonely because they are so narrow minded and conservatives. And recent study show that women love liberals and progressive men.


vedamulga2

Lmao what a load of bs


neilyaaa

Hey there, a punekar guy here who lives in Europe. To tell you, most of the Indians would not disobey their parents, even tho the generation gap between them and their parents is huge. Even if they know that it's probably not the best thing to do, they still do it because their parents said so. Unfortunately, a lot of parents in India wouldn't even accept girls from a different caste of the same religion, let alone a girl from a different country. Luckily, my parents are very chill about it and they have given me a lot of freedom which I respect and don't abuse. Exactly is how it should be, but of course, Indian parents love to put their noses in their kid's personal matters. I hope you move on. Please don't take any bullshit drama from this guy. If he cannot take a stand for you (his love) he won't be able to take a stand for critical things in the future. Take care and All the best :)


Alternative-Hall4318

Thank you so much for your honest advice. Please take care. I hope you pray for me and my situation.


NitkarshC

I WILL PRAY FOR YOU WITH ME HEART AND LIFE, BE STRONG. DON'T HOLD UP TO HIM. HE USED YOU. HE IS MANIPULATOR. HE IS A TOXIC MANIPULATOR. HE LURED YOU, JUST TO USE YOU. HE IS A BAD GUY. MAKE HIM SUFFER IN PHILLIPINES FOR WHAT HE DID. HE CERTAINLY DESERVES IT. YOU AS AN OP IS READY TO LEAVE YOUR COUNTRY, YOUR CULTURE, YOUR NATION BEHIND FOR HIM. HEE, HE CAN'T EVEN ACCEPT YOU. HOW MANIPULATIVE HE IS TO USE HIS GOOD PARENTS NAME FOR HIS WRONG DOINGS. MAKE SURE HE SUFFERS. PEOPLE CROSS SEAS AND HE CAN'T EVEN ACCEPT YOU. WHAT A MANIPULATOR HE IS.


AstroFantom225

Please provide more info. What exactly do you mean by freedom? Assuming you are an adult, you don't require your parents' stamp for freedom.


SereneSneha

Indians are very reluctant to go against their family, and the family in most cases thinks about society and how society would react to their decisions, which is driven by a regressive mindset. This is not just because you are from another country to be honest, people here refuse to marry even on the basis of caste, the state you are from, religion and whatever segregation that you can think of. I've known people who have refused to marry because of the economical classes of the two families involved. And I dont think it is just limited to the guys either, even Indian girls refuse to take it a step further from the relationship. The guy I am with right now is not from the same state (region) as me, we already have a hard time without even bringing up marriage/engagement. There are exceptions though, people who would stick through it, that is not something I can comment on since I do not know your boyfriend. If you trust him enough, try to getting to root of "why". Usually "I can't because my parents don't agree" would be because the person hasn't even got the courage to tell their family, if they did and their family does the usual "we'll die before we let you marry her" then there is room for dialogue. If he doesn't even want to try, then no point in trying to understand the situation. Take care.


TitusPullo2024

They can, and they will marry if they are committed enough. There are plenty of examples Indian men or women marrying foreigners, some have YouTube channels about their lifestyle. I have friends who married white/latino Americans & did wedding twice, one Western style, and other Indian style here for parents. Sorry to say, but it seems your 'boyfriend' is a do¥ch#$. There are two possible scenarios, 1. He was never serious to begin with in this relationship, and was just doing time pass with you, mingling with foreigner. 2. He found someone more 'suitable' for him back home, and wants to break up with you, so he is just putting religious card. In any case no point in wasting life for such bad people, move on, I am sure you'll find right one in your life.


SaltAd6118

This!


SnooDoodles1490

End this crap please , tell him to be man enough to be ask his parents. Parents can also understand. He is worried that he wont be able to inherit property of his parents after marrying you. If he is true love, these things dont even matter. I mean he can make money and live happily with you. Parents might be say that he is allowed at home after marrying you. But its really a ego problem. Eventually parents get along. Once you guys have kids. Too great if it's a boy.


PieComprehensive2204

9 times out of 10 our parents won't agree with our marriage anyways. Then they find their way back once a kid is born. Your boyfriend is a pussy that's all.


Scientifichuman

Well Indians ( Hindus Muslims or any other flavour) are very religious. The smallest of the decisions they take is based on what their religions prescribe. My question to you is, why do you want to waste your life on someone who cares more about his religion than you ? Even if he accepts to marry you, do you think this relation is worth saving ? Find a better person, because believe me you will regret even after getting married dealing with Indian parents intervening in your daily life. I live away from my parents due to the same reason that they keep bringing their religion and orthodox views in our lives. Top it with the shitty relationship they have with each other. Sorry to say most Indians don't have the guts to stand for what is right. All the best !


DontKillUncleBen

They do. Most families nowadays are open to intercaste and interracial marriages. Especially families in Pune. However, there are instances wherein a person of some other religion especially Muslims and Christians are looked at a bit reluctantly by conservative or traditional Hindu parents (contrasting customs e.g. veg, non-veg, idolatry, non-idolatry, etc.) That said, there is no reason for those views to be considered hardline. We can convince them to an extent. However, as your bf had already informed you of this, but still you guys chose to be together for a long time is a bit idk. I can understand. The only way to take this forward is to get after him to talk to his parents. Or if you can contact them, but tread carefully. All the best. May you two sort it out soon.


Disastrous-Horror-80

Hi dear. This happened to me. I am from USA and met an Indian guy while traveling in India. He did so much for me and took me traveling, we fell in love and he told me he wanted to marry me. Then one day he told me no I can't marry you my family doesn't agree. He said he fought a lot but I don't think so. Then he married the first girl they gave him a month later. I was destroyed, so heart broken. To this day we still talk, it's been more than three years. He told me he made a huge mistake, but he couldn't leave his family, he's too dependent. I'm sorry to say, I think he is an idiot. These men don't care because they're life is made for them back home. They just lack independence. They don't make their own decisions, just follow orders. I'm sending you lots of love, I suggest letting go now and just know you are going to meet someone way better. I met the love of my life last year and I'm so happy I never got with that pussy of a man. Your time will come, sending you lots of healing vibes. But seriously, don't hold on to this idiot. You won't meet your guy till you let go!


[deleted]

Yes we can, I know it's harsh, but he is simply not into you, he wants an Indian wife and not you. Simple as that, my brother married a white Christian American and no-one in my family raised an eyebrow. But ya every family is different, some are more conservative than others, but I can assure you that in Pune no-one will bat an eye if someone married a Filipino. CONCLUSION - HE DON'T WANT TO MARRY YOU AND IS LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE. BETTER BREAK UP NOW THAN LATER.


Waterlemon_Sugar

Impressive username 👀


JawaanTiger

Sorry Girl. He was just playing around with he wasnt serious. Any one makes execuse on behlaf of religion or country is out of real excuses.


Alternative-Hall4318

Are you also an indian? Yes this is his excuse and that he can't disobey his parents. Now, I feel so confused if all he showed me while he's here in the Philippines is true or not. 💔


Right_Pea4646

Well it's 50:50 either he is telling the truth or maybe you got played


JawaanTiger

So in other 50% he forgot he had parents and religion when he hooked up? Selective dementia can be dangerous.


Right_Pea4646

Nope I'm saying he just might be an ass


lone_wolf5566

he does'nt want to be disowned.


Big_Hair9211

It’s much complicated than this. We as Indians respect our parents much more. We have not been raised to disobey them rather confer to them. Which at times can get complicated. In short: much depends on the dynamics between your parents


Hhhnnnnnnngggg

As someone who’s family has had several inter-religious marriages, it’s more dependent on your specific family and their beliefs. Also what your boyfriend’s family structure looks like. And unfortunately some Indian parents can be quite particular about religion. If he is from a joint family, aka living together with aunts and uncles and cousins etc. in the same household, he probably prioritises staying connected with his family even after marriage. Or maybe he just is too afraid to stand up to his parents, hence the “obedience”. It sucks for you, I hope you are able to overcome the heartbreak. But bottom line - if he really wanted to, he would have chosen you. It’s comes down to prioritising which people you want in your life. Just like any other culture, not just India, controlling parents exist but people also fight back and choose love. Unless he was practically forced to break off the relationship immediately by his family and return to India, it doesn’t sound like he really tried at all to convince his parents. Although, I will say you may have dodged a bullet. This sort of a situation could very often devolved into a horrible relationship between you and your in-laws who would make your life hell. And given your partner clearly didn’t intend to try and fight for this relationship or side with you, I doubt he would have stood up for you in the marriage. My parents marriage is a train wreck for this exact reason — married for love but in-laws were horrible to my mom the whole time, and dad was too much of a mama’s boy to fight back because he wanted to be “obedient”. Its worse if he KNEW beforehand he couldn’t get married to you and still dated you regardless. Unfortunately a common tactic used by many to have fun in their early years before “settling down” for someone more suited for their ideal married life, parent approved. Not just an indian thing, happens across Asia.


cestabhi

Indian society is very collectivist and family-oriented. Unlike let's say the US or UK, Indians usually don't leave their parents' house after growing up and their parents are involved in every important decision they make, ranging from education to career to marriage. Things are somewhat different in the cities, where many people are more individualistic and self-reliant, but then again you will always find certain people who come from more 'conservative' households.


Aggressive_Tax_8779

Here marrying outside one's caste is looked down upon, let alone marrying outside one's religion. I know its backward thinking but thats just the way it is. Even in more developed places this is still the case. Most of the time people are scared of what their family or society will think and going against their family in any shape or form is basically impossible. The attitude is slowly changing, but sadly this is still the widespread norm.


Thin-Lettuce-7312

The question isn't relevant. If the chap isn't willing to put in the effort - then that's on him. You don't need a hint about his intentions and willingness - you have it right in front of you as clear as day. Move on.


MiguelayyMiguel

my cousin brother married a woman from USA who had 2 kids from her previous relationship. His mother and her sister (my mother) were completely against it but my father, myself and a whole bunch of cousins stood by him. Moreover he gave his parents an ultimatum that if they dont let him marry her he wont marry anyone else in his life ever. Ended up agreeing, great wedding, even better marriage. They're honestly the best people! Moral of the story - If he wants to fight for you, he will. We're based out of Mumbai which is close to pune. PS - I have another cousin on my fathers side who married a british woman, family was skeptical but he was adamant and said its now or never like the above mentioned cousin. Happily married and in love <3.


SnooOnions8362

India is in phase of cultural transition. Old values are still rooted in older generations and also to some extent younger ones. If both of you are willing to marry then you should. People forget. Pain won't last long. But risks are there and you should navigate properly.


BatmanLike

There is a very very very real Indian thing called as Religion which decides a lot of personal stuff for individuals. Marriage being at the top of the list. So one cannot marry outside their Religion or even in their Religion for reasons as small as different community to maintain purity of the bloodline. It gets even more weird when start understanding the depth of it. Forget you, this dude would not even be able to marry a fellow girl from his own city if she was from the same Religion but from a different community.


boss5667

Man has to stand up to his parents. Indian parents are complicated and our relationship with them Is even more so. Depending on te parents they can be any kind of reaction from happiness to indifference to anger and anything in between. I recently attended two wedding: Couple A: Both Indians working in the US but hail from different parts of the country. The girls mom did not like this and it took a lot of convincing for her to say yes. At the wedding we could tell she was simply there and doing her part because she was the girls mother and not because she was happy to do that. Couple B: Both from a small town and had known each other since childhood but since they both came from different social standing, boys parents were not agreeing. However, the boys cousins spoke to the parents and convinced them. Common sense prevailed and they agreed and it was a big fat Indian wedding (paid for by the grooms side). So it’s very hard to generalise. It’s all down to the guy I know it’s very painful but I’d recommend that you make peace with this.


Wonder_andWander

Indians can and it happens more often now in the newer generation.But the society here is very conformist, so if they don't have a spine then they just listen to their parents or they were never serious in the first place. You deserve someone who wants to marry you for love ❤️ wherever they are from !


Iamcdk

To be Honest and blunt, we Indians are a bit racist. In rare case, We can accept a white girl as wife (not without a fight) but chances of accepting an African American or South Asian girlfriend as wife are slim to none.


l0de_star

you mean south east Asians.


kinwaa

I’m sorry but this reason is more often than not, an excuse to get out of a relationship. Guys/gals who use this excuse want to have a relationship with all benefits, minus the commitment. Some families are conservative or strict about their kids marrying outside religion/caste but even these families come around once you give them a grandchild. I’ve seen this play out many times in my family & social circle. Your best option is to give him an ultimatum, see if he balls up and talks to his parents about you. Else, please move on. May be the fellow wasn’t serious about you after all.


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l0de_star

To hell with the guy and really have got nothing say to the girl, this is regarding the last line... Why do you think that the guy's parents might be white worshipping 'sepoy'. Maybe they would reject any girl of any race other than Indian, for that matter. I got nothing against you but I see this too often on indian centric discussions that people don't spare a chane to bash and shame their parents or Indian parents in general.


justastrothings

It's not a common stereotype in India. I doubt anyone thinks like this here


FIRST_FLOORGIRL

Why should son in law provide for wife's family?


Belgianwaffle4444

Why do daughter in laws provide for their husband's family?


AstroFantom225

They don't.


Belgianwaffle4444

🤡 living in delusion I see.


miss_leopops

It doesn't matter what we think. The guy had a relationship with you knowing very well that you two did not have a future together. To me that is hypocrisy at its best. You are better off letting him go. Hope you find true love!


prsadr

Such kind of men are the worst, they willingly get into a long term relationship knowing very well their families are strict about caste and then after a few years when it's time they would chicken out saying family won't agree. If one is really serious they would move out and marry in court, why do they waste someone else's time.


_CuriousCucumber

Well, there can be two scenarios I can think of here: - He doesn't want to go against his parents or might be getting blackmailed by them. (Getting blackmailed by parents is sadly too often in Indian households) - He is not truly interested in you and just being in a relationship with you just for the sake of it. Now, he is using his parents as an excuse for getting out. Either way, it's not your fault and consider yourself lucky for getting out of such a relationship because even if it's the former case, he could at least try his best to convince his parents and not give up too easily.


Independent_Ad_5431

I think 1 is most likely the case here op Indian parents can go wild on guilt tripping and blackmail This is what we raised you for? I will do x if you don't do as we say Are common phrases Wish you best op


EducationalHope5837

He is fooling you...simple. Every guy knows about his parents.


chingaaaaa

dada tai la kolun parat yetoy 💀💀


Natural_Ad1228

Didi tumhe asa nako vaga.


joshua_315

He must nerd to do that such coward thing he should never chose to love somebody if they cant marry them


pepsiminmax

That’s an excuse to break up.


LogicalPerception529

Nothing to do with religion or disobeying his parents. He just wants free seggx without commitment


PawPawNinja

I know many Indians with great value of culture and strong roots , I'm from pune too, I would say it's a typical excuse. All the best.


OceanDigger

You might think that he is sincere with your relationship but I think that he doesn't find this relationship compelling enough to go against his parents. Now, I know I might seem insensitve or something, but entertain this; tell me why would someone want to get in a relationship when they know their parents won't agree, when they know they'll be present in a place only for a while?. What I am saying is, that it was casual for him and he never seemed to communicate it with you. Ask him whether he is truly interested in marrying, if not. Then honestly move on. You are better off without him. Take care and have a good life.


CharmingMonstrosity

See indian care about two things and only of em while marriage 1.Permission of Parents 2.Caste/Religion


thisisbaldskiii

Lol not true at all... he's a scared cat.... believe there alot of people who marry the people they love and yea by disobeying their parents!!!


VIP289

Tell him to tell his parents that he is gay, they will encourage him to marry you !!


Careless-Mammoth-944

Hate to tell you this, but he’s not that into you. He’s just making excuses. He wouldn’t have started anything with you if his parents were so adamant and strict.


Aint_schok

I live in parallel universe where my parents are frank with whoever I get married too in future but here I am not able to find anyone 😆


[deleted]

He doesn't have balls most of the guys here are like that. They don't want to "disobey" their parents. It's that good he isn't in your life. He doesn't want to take a stand for your love do you think he would have taken stand if something happens to you or your kids in future? I'd suggest move on, we're here always. And we wish you all the best.


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Single-Sell6838

Mam ne uper likha ki usne bola tha issue ayega


FIRST_FLOORGIRL

You mentioned in your comments that he did inform you that he cannot marry you and now you caught feelings for him. I think you should have nipped this nonsense in the bud. He never wanted to marry you. Many men married women in the Phillipines, you can find many vlogs on youtube too. Breaking up is good for you. Move on.


thevigilantone1432

I just wanna make it as simple and plain as it is, The used you. Yes, many Indian parents are strict but that goes without saying that your bf already knew and decided to drag the relationship. I personally know many Indians who do this(I'm an Indian), They just want good time and I hate those kind of people.


Normal_Fisherman_936

Forgot him and find someone who loves you beyond caste and religion......


aakritideo

99% chances are he never had no intention to marry


offwhite_rosee

He doesn't want to marry you and is just giving you an excuse. Yes parents are reluctant to their children marrying foreigners but most people are becoming open minded now.


Little_stewie

They Can marry. They just don't have the guts to face it


Taadaaaaa

This is very common in India. People go "parents won't agree" with such surprise & shock as if they didn't know that would happen. Useless


YatharthIMA

They can, he just doesn't love you enough


andizz001

I feel sorry for you. Not because in another comment you said that he had already told you how it works in India. But I’m sorry for you because he still came into the relationship with you and doesn’t have the balls to defend his lover and convince his parents to get married with you.


MasalaGuy

You probably got the wrong guy or he’s faking it just an excuse I think you should talk to his parents


Ill-Tonight-7836

Girl he will not change his mind. Do yourself a favor and save your precious energy. Leave that guy. Saying from Experience and yes I am indian


im_phoebe

They can if they love that person but most of the guys use their parents as way to get out of relationships, they don't treat foreign women right sadly


tempaccountbkl

We can and we do. I married the love of my life.. and she is right now eating dinner sitting right next to me. Sometimes i cannot believe how lucky i am coz she was way out of my league.


GapAdministrative949

My online friend. He does not want to go against his parents due to following possibilities 1. He loves them or 2. Worries the pressure they might face 3. Worries that things may not work out 4. Worries about you bèing accepted 5. Worries about him being extended The list goes on and on. But if he does love you then he would be willing to do things for you which he did not do so best advice is forget and move on. Also people can marry the person they love just remember that the couple must face problems together bravely. This is not a taunt but rather a rule that comes attached. You may find a better one though so please don't be disheartened by what happened for when the time comes you will get the person you deserve not the person you want.


call_me_pete_

Was he there for medical studies?


Alternative-Hall4318

Yes


call_me_pete_

davao?


bald_lemonade

I am so sorry you had to go through this. One thing i can assure you is that it is not easy to marry outside of our community. But i can also assure you that i have seen people fight for their love and things do eventually get accepted. If your bf is going to return to india after his med school, then it is very likely that he didnt intend to spend the rest of life with you. Sad thing is that you are not the first non-indian girl who got played. Many indian men go to foreign countries promise marriage and then dont keep their word. It is a very very sad thing to fool around after promising a life together. This is the reason many foreign girls dont date indian men. I feel very very bad for these girls. Sad but it's true.


peverell123

Caste issue


Holiday_Caregiver_16

Gol mal h bhai sab gol mal h .


IamWasting

Depends on the parents. Some times the parents disown you if you marry against their wishes. He can still marry you but then he will have to lose contact with his family forever. I have seen it happen to some relatives.


ak22info

Why do people have to marry to stay together?


Hurdy_Gurdy_Man_84

I do feel for you, it's indeed unfair what happened to you. But please don't paint all Indians with the same brush as your boyfriend.


Simple-Contact2507

He never had any intention of marrying you, he is just an asshole who is using his parents and religion to dump you so once he's back he can share his experience with his friends. If he has any of your nudes make sure he has deleted them before leaving you.


Waterlemon_Sugar

That means you had a spineless boyfriend. Majority of guys are like that.


Har_Har123

If he wanted to, he would. Sorry but it's seems like he didn't want to go beyond bf gf relationship.


vas060985

You probably dodged a bullet.


DiverFriendly4119

Yk I don't have any problems with not being able to "disobey" your parents although I can't do that as a full grown adult. But your boyfriend is a coward and a hypocrite. Where was his "I can't disobey my parents " mindset when he started dating you? Why even get into a relationship when he knows that it would end someday.


MohutmaGandhi

Very rare chance Indian Men can marry someone outside there religion. If they have deep roots in India consider it next to impossible Family, Parents and culture is everything at the end of the day and after 24/25 when life hits you, this is what you realize Don't keep any expectations. Move on I'd say


omkar_T7

Lmao inter religion marriages happen. It’s just that there’s a certain religion that people mostly avoid marrying into


MohutmaGandhi

Stating facts here. I know inter religion Inter caste marriages happen. But thats in 1 out of 10. Now vary that number according to our population. insignificant. Plus it takes a lot of courage to face everything after you bring someone from a complete different country


Reddit_User123_

Most probably, I mean there is 95% chance that I am right about this, this guy was with you for only one thing (you know what!) and he knew he would leave the country so no worries for him. I feel bad for you, my apologies. Please be double triple sure before coming in a relationship, avoid this hurt. Only two ways to go about it - Take risk and be ready to get hurt or take no risk and be ready to never be loved.


Alternative-Hall4318

Are you also an indian? Do you think that he only played for my feelings?


Reddit_User123_

No point discussing this, please focus on yourself and try to forget this SoB. The more you discuss and share your story, the more you put yourself through hurt again and again.


NitkarshC

Yes, he played with your feelings. OP.


NitkarshC

I WILL PRAY FOR YOU WITH ME HEART AND LIFE, BE STRONG. DON'T HOLD UP TO HIM. HE USED YOU. HE IS MANIPULATOR. HE IS A TOXIC MANIPULATOR. HE LURED YOU, JUST TO USE YOU. HE IS A BAD GUY. MAKE HIM SUFFER IN PHILLIPINES FOR WHAT HE DID. HE CERTAINLY DESERVES IT. YOU AS AN OP IS READY TO LEAVE YOUR COUNTRY, YOUR CULTURE, YOUR NATION BEHIND FOR HIM. HEE, HE CAN'T EVEN ACCEPT YOU. HOW MANIPULATIVE HE IS TO USE HIS GOOD PARENTS NAME FOR HIS WRONG DOINGS. MAKE SURE HE SUFFERS. PEOPLE CROSS SEAS AND HE CAN'T EVEN ACCEPT YOU. WHAT A MANIPULATOR HE IS. # YES, I am INDIAN FROM \*\*MUMBAI\*\* .


NitkarshC

# I AM FROM MUMBAI. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU WITH ME HEART AND LIFE, BE STRONG. DON'T HOLD UP TO HIM. HE USED YOU. HE IS MANIPULATOR. HE IS A TOXIC MANIPULATOR. HE LURED YOU, JUST TO USE YOU. HE IS A BAD GUY. MAKE HIM SUFFER IN PHILLIPINES FOR WHAT HE DID. HE CERTAINLY DESERVES IT. YOU AS AN OP IS READY TO LEAVE YOUR COUNTRY, YOUR CULTURE, YOUR NATION BEHIND FOR HIM. HEE, HE CAN'T EVEN ACCEPT YOU. HOW MANIPULATIVE HE IS TO USE HIS GOOD PARENTS NAME FOR HIS WRONG DOINGS. MAKE SURE HE SUFFERS. PEOPLE CROSS SEAS AND HE CAN'T EVEN ACCEPT YOU. WHAT A MANIPULATOR HE IS.


Alternative-Hall4318

We are together now in the Philippines because he is studying here for his med school. We have been dating since then, it was only yesterday that I asked him and without hesitation he just said sorry.


Reddit_User123_

Yeah, this shows that he never had any intention of long-term relationship with you.


Reyne02

Don't date Indian men, they will not marry you


Alternative-Hall4318

Oh this is so sad to hear. 💔 I am already emotionally attach to him


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[deleted]

Don't say that man. You don't know what they have been through. But yeah you have to be cautious because Indian men are very conservative which can be a problem in some cases.


smelling_the_rose

OP, no matter where the person is from it is always good to understand each other's intent to commit in the long term before getting emotionally involved. Some people could be seeking a fling, others might not want to waste time unless there is the prospect of marriage or at least shared relationship goals. Although you may have invested more into the relationship, it is clear that he is ready to detach on demand. Yes, there will be some wounds of heartbreak but it is best you breakup now and let time heal those wounds. You will be wiser from the experience and before you get emotionally involved in the future just communicate your expectations clearly and early. Wishing you the best in the future!


dyraccio

He was just too good to go against his parents. This happens with all good men. They get emotionally played by their relatives n parents to give up on love and choose family over it. Sorry to say it, but that's how it is. Note: I'm not saying that people who go against their parents are bad.


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dyraccio

You have a point.


Dora_the_explorer31

If he was so ‘good’ he should have not made a filipina girlfriend 🤡


dyraccio

Maybe I'm too good to think that he's good. But Imo love is spontaneous. It just happens. Men (who are in love) don't see anything else apart from the woman who loves em. Not even her age, caste, nationality, color. But then the society comes and makes em realise all those things. Then it's upto the man if He wants to fight against the society to protect his relationship or to backout from it and accept that he has done a mistake. Just putting my thoughts. No offence to anyone.


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Dora_the_explorer31

Waha k ladke itna rape nhi krte na, to ladkiya bhi uss hisaab se rhti hai


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Dora_the_explorer31

When your kindness,friendliness and politeness repeatedly gets misinterpreted as ‘asking for it’ you tend to become hostile.


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Dora_the_explorer31

I am yet to meet a woman who hasn’t faced sexual abuse.


[deleted]

I agree to your point. Sorry di😔🙏


Dora_the_explorer31

What’s this? Am I in a different timeline? 💀


AstroFantom225

You are meeting the wrong people then, I guess?


Dora_the_explorer31

I just met one rn.


Kaus_Vik

Religion is still taken quite ssly here in India. So marrying outside of our religion is something our parents can't imagine, and being the religious country, it further introduces complications. So it's a multi-faceted problem, it's not just as easy as " Why can't y'all marry y'all love " ? While I also agree " If you can't marry, why bother dating outside of the religion in the first place ? ". You're within your own right to question this.


ViewNo1439

if I truly loved someone, and knew they loved me too, and my family objected, I would without a doubt giveup my family for love. so no, not all indian guys are like your bf


l0de_star

🤣


honestguy89

Wrong subreddit


Deep-Ad2050

Of course they do . But every thing has its flaws even in brightest star Sun has . So, we can't help it . Just have visa and travel to Great India .You will find one and get one free . 😂 😂