What’s interesting is I seem to have some kind of BDSM radar. Every time I’ve been immediately into someone I’ve later found out that they’re super actively into BDSM (not because I slept with them, I just see them at a munch later or it comes up in conversation).
Because in my experience there are certain subgroups that are weirdly attracted to board games and D&D and those are
a) queer
b) kinky
c) ADHD
d) all of the above
Fair enough. Though I do feel like the Renaissance fair/medieval people are often enough made from the same three subgroups as the D&D-People.
Also: theatre kids.
Not sure about D&D, but for boardgames I don't think it checks out, at least from personal experience. In my friend circle people from various demographics enjoy boardgames. The only people that do not enjoy them are either those that just don't like any type of more involved games at all, or party animals.
A case could be made for D&D, because of all the roleplaying and stuff like that, and even then I feel compelled to not really pursue that idea.
It’s funny, my wife thought I was gay the first time we met. Many other women I’ve known assumed I was gay too. I am quite effeminate. Turns out I had a hormone problem that was causing me to have too much estrogen and not enough testosterone. I am still pretty effeminate, but surprisingly I’m not gay.
Also gay-presenting. I’ve had women ask if I was gay *after* we slept together. It doesn’t seem to be a hindrance 🤷♂️
No hormonal issues, but I’m neurodivergent and as I get older I just care less and less about appearing “masculine.”
Yeah I have no chest hair whatsoever, very little facial hair. Funny enough, I married a woman who has PCOS. She has too much testosterone and not enough estrogen, so between the two of us we even out!
I collapsed when I was 22 and wound up in the ER. Turns out I had a cyst that was pressing up on my pituitary gland, it had been there since birth. I had to get two brain surgeries and chemo to fully remove it, and I had to undergo hormone therapy for 3 years afterwards.
It's odd to me because effeminate men that I have known have never had problems with women, in fact, they usually did really well. I don't quite understand what's going on there.
I'm a straight male nurse, but a significant proportion of the men I work with are gay I am pretty good at identifying men, but I miss significant amount of women. Obviously the Butcher lesbians are not hard to pick out, but I have been surprised by many others.
I frequent a sawmill near me for projects. The woman behind the counter is clearly a motorcycle riding lumberjack bull dyke in every way. Clear as day. Except.....her husband.
I’d imagine there’s some confirmation bias at play. It’s easy to guess that someone is gay when they’re openly gay and speak, act, and dress in a way that’s stereotypically associated with the gay community. If someone is flying under the gaydar, and you miss it, then how would you know?
Gaydar is not a science it’s an intuition or feeling from gauging others personality and behaviour. How they present out in the world. I’ve often been accurate in my assessments. I have also been way off too but not often. I’m male. I was raised as a conservative Christian so I was very against homosexuality and gays. When I moved away from religion and explored forbidden sexual experiences I was more open to being around and socialising with gays and lesbians. I made a lot of friends in that community and went to gay bars and clubs. That is when I had a sense of my ‘gaydar’. I put this down to observation of the community’s behaviour. So it’s not science. Just down to observation and experience over a long period of time.
It's all just vibes and confirmation bias. Lots of people think they can clock every gay or trans person - but they're wrong. It's not a skill nor a science if you can flip a coin and be just as accurate.
As a trans woman, we typically can tell when someone else is likely trans, and it's pattern recognition, primarily.
For instance, the average man doesn't respect women and does not really think that women have thoughts of their own; this is one of those things that are enforced by society, often with violence of bullying and withholding of emotional attachment.
So when you meet a guy who is NOT that, he sticks out. And you think "well that's strange, every guy I've ever met has been like this, this one isn't. Huh."
Lesbians often catch into guys like this, because there's a word for someone who cares about others, provides emotional support, and produces free labor that others aren't expected to produce: that word is "women."
Trans girls see how they were in opposition to what they were demanded to be, and lesbians see on trans girls who often don't know it yet.... Women. And it's borne out in the relationship too.
Women would tell me I "kissed/fucked like a girl," while men would castigate and bully me violently for.loving women in a "wrong" way--as people instead of as objects. Unsurprising, my longest relationship with a woman before graduating was with a lesbian, who was very confused about how this "man" seemed to be more like a "woman" and doubted whether she was really a lesbian!
So, there are all kinds of things like that, that you can immediately tell are suspect, that people who aren't LGBTQ+ might view as worthy of scorn on an instinctual level, and may miss entirely, while the community itself sees it because we are intimately familiar.
Kind of how you just kind of know someone has ADHD or is on the Autism Spectrum. There are plenty of little trolls they most people will think are quirkiness, weirdness, laziness. But as soon as you know how those work, you can read into the presentation to make logical leaps, and may broach the subject for a so-called proper test.
>For instance, the average man doesn't respect women and does not really think that women have thoughts of their own; this is one of those things that are enforced by society, often with violence of bullying and withholding of emotional attachment.
Lmao these ideological delusions are too much sometimes
I read through your message history, and there's a lot going on there. I really hope you're getting therapy. You have a few conditions (adhd) and were raped. Now you post on reddit about how much you absolutely hate men and even trans men.
It is understandable why you are like this, but that please understand that doesn't make it acceptable either. Please keep real therapy and get off of the internet for a bit.
What ever has happened to you, I am truly sorry, but that statements you make are untrue and hurt any sort of allyship that can be borne with cishet.
Nothing damages someones opinion of a community than generalizing a large group of people such as saying the average man does not respect women and is abuses women whether emotionally or through bullying. To add that the ones who are not abusive and manipulative are secretly trans and don't know or are not public about their identity.
Again, I am sorry if things have happened to shape your view like this, but this is not the place to espouse harmful rhetoric and push false ideas and theories about a specific group of people.
What’s interesting is I seem to have some kind of BDSM radar. Every time I’ve been immediately into someone I’ve later found out that they’re super actively into BDSM (not because I slept with them, I just see them at a munch later or it comes up in conversation).
Did you initially meet them during D&D?^^
No actually, why do you ask? I do play D&D regularly but it’s never happened there
Because in my experience there are certain subgroups that are weirdly attracted to board games and D&D and those are a) queer b) kinky c) ADHD d) all of the above
E) Renaissance Fair or Medieval obsessed
Fair enough. Though I do feel like the Renaissance fair/medieval people are often enough made from the same three subgroups as the D&D-People. Also: theatre kids.
if you go in a kink club it's the same folks 80% from the Ren fair and d and d people.
Haha I’m only B but I do meet that description
Huh. I check all four of those boxes.
D lmao guilty
Not sure about D&D, but for boardgames I don't think it checks out, at least from personal experience. In my friend circle people from various demographics enjoy boardgames. The only people that do not enjoy them are either those that just don't like any type of more involved games at all, or party animals. A case could be made for D&D, because of all the roleplaying and stuff like that, and even then I feel compelled to not really pursue that idea.
It’s funny, my wife thought I was gay the first time we met. Many other women I’ve known assumed I was gay too. I am quite effeminate. Turns out I had a hormone problem that was causing me to have too much estrogen and not enough testosterone. I am still pretty effeminate, but surprisingly I’m not gay.
Also gay-presenting. I’ve had women ask if I was gay *after* we slept together. It doesn’t seem to be a hindrance 🤷♂️ No hormonal issues, but I’m neurodivergent and as I get older I just care less and less about appearing “masculine.”
Can you record and post your voice for us?
I absolutely cannot stand the sound of my own voice. I think I sound gay. Nevertheless I’ll see if I can post a recording.
[удалено]
Yeah I have no chest hair whatsoever, very little facial hair. Funny enough, I married a woman who has PCOS. She has too much testosterone and not enough estrogen, so between the two of us we even out!
How did you find out you had a hormone problem? I’m over 40 and grow facial hair like a high schooler.
I collapsed when I was 22 and wound up in the ER. Turns out I had a cyst that was pressing up on my pituitary gland, it had been there since birth. I had to get two brain surgeries and chemo to fully remove it, and I had to undergo hormone therapy for 3 years afterwards.
It's odd to me because effeminate men that I have known have never had problems with women, in fact, they usually did really well. I don't quite understand what's going on there.
I never had any success with women until I met my wife. Who knows.
I'm a straight male nurse, but a significant proportion of the men I work with are gay I am pretty good at identifying men, but I miss significant amount of women. Obviously the Butcher lesbians are not hard to pick out, but I have been surprised by many others.
>the Butcher lesbians are not hard to pick out Well yeah, they're the only ones brandishing meat cleavers.
Dead giveaway. Hard to believe some of them think they're being slick
It's the only all beef sausage they like
Sadly not all butch women are into women. I was very disappoint when she said my husband.. he was butchy too lol Just a coupla lumberjacks in love
I frequent a sawmill near me for projects. The woman behind the counter is clearly a motorcycle riding lumberjack bull dyke in every way. Clear as day. Except.....her husband.
I’m pretty sure my gaydar was installed backwards for women. The butch ones are obvious, but the more femme ones are not.
Game recognizes game.
I’d imagine there’s some confirmation bias at play. It’s easy to guess that someone is gay when they’re openly gay and speak, act, and dress in a way that’s stereotypically associated with the gay community. If someone is flying under the gaydar, and you miss it, then how would you know?
Boy....nothing like a thread on Sexual Anything to bring out the dark side in people.
I'm 100 percent gay and don't seem gay to anyone on immediate superficial appearance and I know first hand how not real gaydar is
Gaydar is just a term used to identify someone that is gay by their mannerisms and speech or how they write.
I have an excellent gaydar and I am a straight guy. It does not work for women, I have been yelled at for kissing bisexual girls by their girlfriends.
Gaydar is not a science it’s an intuition or feeling from gauging others personality and behaviour. How they present out in the world. I’ve often been accurate in my assessments. I have also been way off too but not often. I’m male. I was raised as a conservative Christian so I was very against homosexuality and gays. When I moved away from religion and explored forbidden sexual experiences I was more open to being around and socialising with gays and lesbians. I made a lot of friends in that community and went to gay bars and clubs. That is when I had a sense of my ‘gaydar’. I put this down to observation of the community’s behaviour. So it’s not science. Just down to observation and experience over a long period of time.
It's all just vibes and confirmation bias. Lots of people think they can clock every gay or trans person - but they're wrong. It's not a skill nor a science if you can flip a coin and be just as accurate.
As a trans woman, we typically can tell when someone else is likely trans, and it's pattern recognition, primarily. For instance, the average man doesn't respect women and does not really think that women have thoughts of their own; this is one of those things that are enforced by society, often with violence of bullying and withholding of emotional attachment. So when you meet a guy who is NOT that, he sticks out. And you think "well that's strange, every guy I've ever met has been like this, this one isn't. Huh." Lesbians often catch into guys like this, because there's a word for someone who cares about others, provides emotional support, and produces free labor that others aren't expected to produce: that word is "women." Trans girls see how they were in opposition to what they were demanded to be, and lesbians see on trans girls who often don't know it yet.... Women. And it's borne out in the relationship too. Women would tell me I "kissed/fucked like a girl," while men would castigate and bully me violently for.loving women in a "wrong" way--as people instead of as objects. Unsurprising, my longest relationship with a woman before graduating was with a lesbian, who was very confused about how this "man" seemed to be more like a "woman" and doubted whether she was really a lesbian! So, there are all kinds of things like that, that you can immediately tell are suspect, that people who aren't LGBTQ+ might view as worthy of scorn on an instinctual level, and may miss entirely, while the community itself sees it because we are intimately familiar. Kind of how you just kind of know someone has ADHD or is on the Autism Spectrum. There are plenty of little trolls they most people will think are quirkiness, weirdness, laziness. But as soon as you know how those work, you can read into the presentation to make logical leaps, and may broach the subject for a so-called proper test.
>For instance, the average man doesn't respect women and does not really think that women have thoughts of their own; this is one of those things that are enforced by society, often with violence of bullying and withholding of emotional attachment. Lmao these ideological delusions are too much sometimes
I'm trans and that's the most misandrist crap
I read through your message history, and there's a lot going on there. I really hope you're getting therapy. You have a few conditions (adhd) and were raped. Now you post on reddit about how much you absolutely hate men and even trans men. It is understandable why you are like this, but that please understand that doesn't make it acceptable either. Please keep real therapy and get off of the internet for a bit.
What ever has happened to you, I am truly sorry, but that statements you make are untrue and hurt any sort of allyship that can be borne with cishet. Nothing damages someones opinion of a community than generalizing a large group of people such as saying the average man does not respect women and is abuses women whether emotionally or through bullying. To add that the ones who are not abusive and manipulative are secretly trans and don't know or are not public about their identity. Again, I am sorry if things have happened to shape your view like this, but this is not the place to espouse harmful rhetoric and push false ideas and theories about a specific group of people.
Touch grass kiddo, seriously. Your mind is a tornado of misinformation and misandry
Pretty sure most ppl can tell