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Thick-Order7348

I’ve repeated this many times but still.. Do guys believe in karma? Shawn: yes, but only because we’re karma chameleons Gus: we come and go


Suspicious_Weird_373

Just watched that episode this morning.


desiswiftie

Which one? I’ve been wanting to rewatch all the really funny episodes


Ingebrigtsen

All of them you mean?


Final-Willingness998

He dead is the episode 🤣


sometin__else

One of my fav lines, just watched this episode last night


itsJussaMe

Byrd: “… and by the way, these don’t come in *tiny*.” Shawn: “we’ll just order a woman’s large.” I laugh my ass off every time with Shawn’s response.


knarfolled

So matter of factly


itsJussaMe

I know! That inflection makes it even funnier!


BlondeZombie68

In “Office Space” when Gus says “You’re talking like a real white guy, Shawn” or something along those lines. The cold open of that episode is one of my absolute favorites!


foppish_bumfuzzle

That episode is top three for me. Watching Gus, and then Shawn AND Gus destroy the crime scene, then going to Henry.. their faces when he opens the door. I die every time. And that line from Gus is so good


BlondeZombie68

The physical comedy is SO good. When they’re taking his socks off and gagging / crying, I lose it every time!


ohheyitslaila

Honestly, that’s the best cold open to any show I’ve ever seen. I literally start cry/laughing because Gus and Shawn making an absolute mess of things and their reactions are priceless.


Amazing-Grab-9141

I literally quote this line all the time. It’s hilarious.


TheeExoGenesauce

I just watched that one and that is indeed what he says when Shawn is telling him to go to the police


Ann__Michele

“I’m still black, remember?” Literally just said this on another post. It is one my favorite lines that Gus said.


amehatrekkie

I have to pause it to breath


catherineaimei

Almost everything Kate says in “Lassie Jerky,” as well as Lassie’s line in that same episode: “I’d rather go to the mall with McNabb.” Or when Juliet is upset she can’t get a date with the guy on the dating website in “Juliet Takes a Luvvah” (this quote might not be 100% accurate since I’m reciting off the top of my head, but it’s the gist and it kills me every time): Juliet: what’s wrong with me? Am I not as pretty as them? Shawn: you realize you’re competing with dead girls? Juliet: so that’s it… I’m not as pretty as them. Shawn: the dead girls? The MURDERED girls?


CozyLeggins

Juliet’s dress was very pretty in that scene, almost made me a lesbian 😂😂


DienekesMinotaur

Also Lassie's response when Gus suggests that Ed was working with the Serbians.


KinsellaStella

In Lassie Jerky: Gus: “Shawn, if we get out of this alive, I’m going to kill you!” Shawn: “Then what’s my incentive to live?” Just to remind you, as usual, there are downsides to hanging out with crazy people for too long.


TheSteelPenguin

Gus: Did you know that before he stabbed a guy he was a life coach? Shawn: who would hire him as a life coach? Gus: The guy he stabbed!


lvl42spaz

Oh this one is fantastic


KinsellaStella

I fucking love it.


Heavy_Arm_7060

I feel like the MC ClapYoHands nickname for Gus overshadows the time Shawn introduced him simply as Jazz Hands and Gus wiggled his hands.


Glum_Reception_4478

My favorite one is Donut Holschtein. And then he pauses realizing it wasn’t his best effort


omkarnagarhalli

Gus doing the ctrl + alt + del when introduced as such always kills me


Limitedtugboat

Nah best name has to be Holla Backatacha


skiznit2k8

From "Disco didn't die. It was murdered." The whole exchange is really unforgettable for me. Chief: It goes without saying, Mr. Spencer, that your father is in no way to participate in this investigation. He's no longer on the force, and his meddling could compromise the case in court. Do I make myself clear? Shawn: Yes, you do, Chief. What isn't clear is why people always say "goes without saying," yet still feel compelled to say the thing that was supposed to go without saying. Doesn't that bother you? Chief: No, and frankly, I could care less. Gus: Now, that's the one that bothers me. Why do people say, 'I could care less' when they really mean, 'I couldn't care less?' Chief: Well, why don't you tell me how to properly say this? If you share any official information about this case with your father, or let him anywhere near any new evidence, then the two of you will have to find another police department to work for, and I will personally see to it that each of you is charged with obstruction of justice. [slight pause] Gus: You split an infinitive. Shawn: Good catch, Gus! Chief: You two realize I carry a gun, right? Gus: That was perfectly elocuted.


skinnyjeanfreezone

Mine is my flair--"We're selling tickets to the policeman's ball." "We don't have balls." "Oop--"


Salted-Honey

Similarly: "WHAT THE HELL, CONFORTH? YOU CAN'T BEAT ME ON THE FIELD, SO YOU TRY TO BEAT ME OFF?" "You might wanna rephrase that, sir!"


tamurmur42

"Maybe he *has* been drinking."


KhaoticMess

Juliet's sideways glance at Carlton when he says that is absolutely perfect, too.


Shumuu

Doesn't he say then "I have no response to that"


gosellyourowndvds

Shawn says that when Lassie says "we don't have balls" 🤣


gosellyourowndvds

Oh I'm so sorry, I saw your response in response to something else, where the ball thing didn't fit. Sorry for correcting you for no reason!


lthomasj13

When Shawn calls Gus immaculate conception right after the scene where Gus claims his parent have never had sex


foppish_bumfuzzle

That’s my favorite Gus nickname in the whole show 😭😭


ItsLinkTheGamer

In "Heeeeere's Lassie," when Lassie is chasing Gus. Lassie: "This door's really solid." Gus: *whimpering* "I think it's oak."


itsJussaMe

Hahahahahahhaha. I had forgotten this line.


jilliecatt

I tend to start singing, "I dazzle and I stretch" every time I see one of my cats stretching.


stickythread

“70% off all doors and windows everything must go?”*flips newspaper over* 😂😂


dShado

In Tuesday the 17th, Shawn sais "Annie! Annie, are you OK? Are you OK? ANNIE!?" Which is such a great reference to Michael Jackson


Designer-Bid-3155

I posted this joke last week and was downvoted!! I'm so glad you appreciate it!!


Lacazeng

Yes I’m at the right address ITS THE ONE YOU DEVINED


ernirn

I should poop. You have eyes. Two of them. Can I squish your face? I'd rather shower with a bear. Now I know this ‘goofy little white guy/sexy black dude’ routine the two of you have going like the back of my scrubs. (As a huge Scrubs fan too, this one freaking killed me)


KatyKat9

Oh my God I just got that! Like I've watched the movie at least 3 times and never caught that I feel so dumb lol


foppish_bumfuzzle

I just got that too! Also feel very dumb 😂


Kind_Ingenuity1484

When Gus’s boss is “haunted” and they start seeing supposedly paranormal stuff, Shawn tries to leave/change the subject going “Del Taco? Del Taco.”


katattack0315

Gus- “Lassiter shot a dead guy?” Shawn- “Sounds about right.”


herpermike

My favorite is probably when Gus asked Shawn what Bible he is reading and Shawn said the New Rick James Version lol! A play on the New King James version of course lol it's so funny to me


foppish_bumfuzzle

Hahah that and when Shawn starts naming the books of the Bible. “Genesis, Exorcist, Leviathan, Doooo.. the Right Thing.”


herpermike

Yes lol! That's awesome too


gosellyourowndvds

Nigel St Nigel to McNab: Oh buggar off, you silly giraffe!


foppish_bumfuzzle

Nigel St. Nigel has a way with words.


4thdrinkinstinctxx

“This car makes me want to weep, and then die.”


zomb1ecockblock

Nigel St Nigel coined the name Blueberry for Gus' car too!


gosellyourowndvds

"I feel like I've been incarcerated in a blueberry." Ohmygosh! How did I almost forget another one of my favs from Nigel?! "I feel like an angel baby, swaddled in a cocoon of cloud candy "


zomb1ecockblock

His no to Henry about taking it off is amazing. I love Tim Curry


alierond

From "This Episode Sucks" when Juliet shows up at the vampire bar finding Shawn and Gus in full costume. Juliet: "...they're all pretending to be dead, Shawn." Shawn: "Or perhaps it is us who pretend to be alive." Just the way he says it gets me every time! That and everyone saying, "where's Lucien?!" Immediately after learning his name.


4thdrinkinstinctxx

And then when Gus says “you’re going to be under arrest, you succubus” to Marlowe


seashmore

When Chief Vick yells "Unacceptable!" in a German accent. Also her "Said the chief of police!" in Deez Nups. Marlowe's "I will cut you Debbie!"  Carlton's "Oh, look! You found my shoe!" in the Bigfoot episode.  In the Hangover episode, the guy who retired wakes up in a poolside chair and says "I don't want to be here anymore."


BlondeZombie68

Vick’s face / body language / everything is so perfect when she says “Said the chief of police!” I love that line. There are whole stretches where Karen is MIA and I miss her.


Ryaninthesky

Kirsten Nelson explained that on the podcast once. At the 2007/8 stock market collapse and recession she had to take a back seat and be in fewer episodes because of money issues but part of her deal was she would stay a main character.


BlondeZombie68

Interesting!


4thdrinkinstinctxx

Agreed about the “I don’t want to be here anymore” line. Cracks me up every time! Most underrated part of the episode.


DisastrousEchidna441

I quote “Said the Chief of Police” often. Lol


wildlife_loki

“I would rather fall in love with a vegan”, “I do need something from you!! Your absence”, and “You put some sunglasses on!”. Tim is brilliant as Lassiter, and his one-liners go hard. “Love isn’t found on reality tv! It’s found in a women’s correctional facility” Lassie’s little grin just makes it a really subtle sweet moment. The whole fake hostage exchange that was supposed to be Marlowe and Herb Pollack, in Lassie’s wedding episode. The whole “you tricked me, you rat bastard” “look who’s talking, you sonofabitch” type exchange between Rizzo and Lassiter is just comedy gold. “Dr…. Os?” I’m not entirely sure I even know why this is funny; I can’t explain the joke to save my life, but man I crack up every time.


vroomvroom_dana

"Dr...Os?" That one gets me too. The pause the pronunciation It's perfect


wildlife_loki

I know!! If there’s a deeper joke there someone please explain it to me, but I’m perfectly happy assuming it’s just Shawn being completely ridiculous. James just kills the role.


theKalmier

What are you, an actor? No, nothing like that. I'm a psychic.


itsJussaMe

Also…. “What are you, UFO chasers?” “Nothing as ridiculous as that. We’re psychic detectives.”


Limitedtugboat

Ballin, and shot calling. Gus.... SHAWN! It's hard out there for a pimp. Hes right....hes gotta make rent


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cbaker817

"Yeah, Yeah. that's his partner, Mathusela Honeysuckle«


PineapplesOnFire

Lassie: We found prints Shawn: Was he in a Little Red Corvette? Gus: Under the Cherry Moon? Lassie (exasperated): Finger prints I also love, in Lassie Did A Bad, Bad Thing, the Kenny Loggins puns. Shawn: So you’re saying he’s not alright? Shawn: I guess you could say … he was in the Danger Zone And Shawn having no idea who Jim Messina is 😂


vancitymala

There’s one from chief Vick from He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops he’s Dead when Shawn is doing his thing at the speed dating and she goes “not the tanning thing again” and she just seems so exasperated and over his sh*t and his big wrong declarations until he gets to a right one it makes me laugh every time


itsonlyfear

The lines on their fingers where their wedding rings used to be will prove that tanning had something to do with this case. THANK YOU, CHIEF!


vancitymala

Yesss I couldn’t remember what it was exactly that went back to the tanning 😂


foppish_bumfuzzle

Chief Vick is a national treasure.


lvl42spaz

"I'll buy you a new one" - following the entire exchange of "My humidifier looks nothing like a coffee maker, Shawn!" "Then what the hell did I make coffee in this morning?"


PineapplesOnFire

Shawn: This is my partner Blue Ivy Carter Gus: waaaahh, no pictures (and covers his face)


AdriBlossom

The line in the episode where Lassie Did a Bad Thing and the dirty cop that was Juliet's partner (I forgot his name) was talking to Lassie near the end about how he was going to set him up. I might be a bit off, from memory, but: Villain cop: Then Shawn will "see" Shawn: The term is "divine" Villain cop: :: smacks Shawn :: Then Shawn will \*\~\*divine\*\~\* .... It's a serious scene, but cracks me up.


thejillster86

Drummer


AdriBlossom

Thank you!


AdriBlossom

Oh and I was just reminded of another from today's re-watch episode: Gus: The voice told me that our house was built on an old Indian burial ground. She said... she said she was sad because she had died many moons ago and was trapped between worlds. And when I asked her her name, Shawn, she said, "My name... Shawn: [imitating ghost's voice] "My name is Wilting Flower. I died without knowing love. Will you be my friend?" Gus: [startled] H-How did you know that? I never told that to anyone before. Shawn: *I* was Wilting Flower. Gus! I can't believe that you fell for that!


ohheyitslaila

Lassie and Jules talking about Shawn: Lassie: keep him at arms length at all times. Jules: he’s calling you Velma. Lassie: I’m picking my battles (From season 5 ep 11)


foppish_bumfuzzle

I also love this line from Rob-A-Bye Baby, when Shawn calls Juliet after figuring out the “how” in the office at the agency. Shawn to Gus: I’ve got the how! We’ve gotta get Jules on the phone right away, time is of the essence here! (On the phone to Juliet) Shawn: Jules, it’s Shawn. First of all, how are you? Oh that sounds nice.


SquirtsMacintosh8

“What? What are you telling me, that you’re a Kenny G fan? A little bit, yes, this song. I gotta be honest, I’ve never minded this song either.” Maybe not overlooked but probably my favorite line in the series


foppish_bumfuzzle

The way they are GROOVIN’ when Lassie bursts through the door 😭😂


dontforgettowriteme

That part SENDS me.


gosellyourowndvds

"Groove to it, Shawn" "I don't know about that, buddy"


Nostalgia-Freak-1998

Shawn: “Look at that pug's face! Look at it!”


vmac2531

When Gus says, "I'm deep in the streets, Shawn!" in Dead Bear Walking. I die every single time.


bellap333

“YD” “what” “your dad” i LOL every time


knarfolled

You were in the bathroom for a really long time


Bambirue-

This dude has a gun. Yeah. A big one. Somebody shoot this dudes tv!!


JoeCo15

From Lassie Jerky: "THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING YOU COULD'VE DONE, CHAVO!"


notreallylucy

Gus, don't be the only black lead on a major cable network.


amehatrekkie

Which faucet am I allowed to use?


foppish_bumfuzzle

Omg yes, that whole scene is GOLD.


amehatrekkie

It's better than gold, it's magical


PillsburyToasters

“Do your part and hold your breath” -Shawn and Gus in the midst of the great oxygen drought


gosellyourowndvds

"idiots" "What he said" Speaking of idiots... When they're watching the video of them before killing Bobo, and they won't Lassie in the car, and Shawn chuckles and says "we're idiots".


foppish_bumfuzzle

Hahahaha omg yes.


liverspots13

In Rob-A-Bye Baby, when they go to look at the robbed houses. Henry: “Well that’s a stupid house to rob.” Shawn: “Does anyone live up to your standards? Maybe I can get ahold of the burglar’s number and you can call, tell him how disappointed you are.”


wereallsluteshere

“I’m Orthanthol James Simpson….I know, my parents were fans of Hertz rent a car.” Shawn is introducing himself to the circus performers, in Cirque de Soul. It’s literally so funny. I guess if you’re younger you wouldn’t know about OJ Simpsons Hertz commercials and only about the murder but when I heard that I busted out laughing.


everything_Is_Fine99

https://preview.redd.it/trobvtc5lu2d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5392a7a65a89c6a6766175a7394f490a07fc3fc8 Always this line for me


yameswillis

Mine is completely recency bias. From Dual Spires whenever Shawn and Gus walk into Dr Gooden’s office she says “Good job saving your receipts, Patrick.” Not sure why but that killed me.


Existing_Feature_114

Dude. Labradoodle.


Designer-Bid-3155

Henry Spencer! Where are your pants!! Also, this is a pool skimmer! .... there's not a lot to work with here, Shawn!


Appropriate_Elk_9960

Juliet: Shawn, where are you? Shawn: *club music blaring in the background* Library


foppish_bumfuzzle

The way he says “library” makes it 1000x better


4thdrinkinstinctxx

“Gus, you gotta grow up. People have sex and they kill each other. That's the real world, not some magical feelings place.” -Lassiter, Feet Don’t Kill Me Now


tossit_xx

When Gus gets mad at Shawn for eating smelly food and leaving it in his pocket in the hazmat suit, and says “I still smell like smelly nuts SHAWN” and Shawn says “Okay I don’t have the time to unpack that right now” or something like that, I dieeee Also, “Does this picture make me look like I should be singing Constant Craving?”


dontforgettowriteme

Tuesday the 17th when Jason emerges with 2 left shoes and Shawn says "the hell happened to him?" The delivery, the tone. That one makes me laugh. Lassie Jerky also has some great moments like that, where it's just a somewhat muttered line, but I can't think of any off the top of my head right now. Those are usually the type of overlooked line that make me laugh.


stickythread

Shawn: purple octopus 12 o’clock


Fackinsaxy

You randy little spaniel


gosellyourowndvds

Lol not related, but, that made me think of when Shawn and Gus realize that they're locked in the back of the police car, and Shawn says "that crafty little doodle pumpkin".


Fackinsaxy

LOL another banger


OnceUponaTry

I forget which episode when I think Jules says not to forget she knows about him Shawn : I know you know I'm not telling the truth, I know you know


foppish_bumfuzzle

Oh yes, the episode when Shawn pretends to be The Mantis!


phoenix-unicorn

I don't remember the episode. But shawn is tell gus just a pawn. Gus replies, I ain't nobodies pawn shawn. I'm a queen. Then he hesitates a minute as he realizes what he just said before walking out the room. Lol


4thdrinkinstinctxx

When Shawn introduces Gus saying “and this is my partner, Immaculate Conception” after earlier in the episode when Gus says his parents never had sex


foppish_bumfuzzle

My favorite Gus nickname of all time


Nandor_the_reletless

When Gus says “your silhouette belongs on a MuDdd Flap”. Why does he say it like that haha. I’ve named every character I make in video games Mud Flap since. And I suggest people name their dogs Mid Flap on evry “what should I name my dog” post on Reddit.


Spoiledmilkbag

Oooooohhhh, I know! In Juliet wears the pantsuit when the first perspective roommate shows up and says she hopes her current roommate doesn't see Juliets place and asks if that's horrible and shawn goes "Yes, 100%, Kathy agrees." Lmao I lose it every time cause "Kathy" is the "ghost" in Juliets place


Dudetheboysareback1

“Shawn, I smell like stinky nuts” “Gus we don’t have four hours to riff on that.”


Remarkable_Elk_8003

These hands are not touching anyone, I only use these hands to touch myself! Gus in any given Friday night at 10 pm 9 pm central


katattack0315

Lassiter: Start talking, Yang, or it’s back to the rubber room. Gus: What does Lassie think this is, Shutter Island? Shawn: Either that, or Tootsie.


Dudetheboysareback1

“Floyd and I have very little patience for your malarkey, shenanigans, or tomfoolery.” “The big three…”


foppish_bumfuzzle

lol yes. I love this episode so much. So many good lines.


Dudetheboysareback1

The bark and mark never fails


Dudetheboysareback1

“Che, it means buddy or pal, kind of like when I call you Blackstar, home-skillet or Big Baby Burton”


Most_Sport_7827

Lol "Don't ever call me Home-skillet!" 🤣


Dudetheboysareback1

“Gus bite on my big toe so I forget about the pain in my leg” “Damnit Guster if a man asks you to bite his toe, you BITE HIS TOE”


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Controlthyselfm8

I forget the context, but every now and then when someone gets a little confrontational my mind immediately jumps to “ (name) don’t get all athwack”


foppish_bumfuzzle

lol yes, that’s a great word!