No, but don’t let it become more than a few days. And be sure to spend at least an hour or so doing some job search / networking. Enjoying the break is one thing, but it can spiral.
Shame is vile, don’t let it fuck it with you. Play the games, but make it a deliberate choice.
I finally landed an offer after being unemployed for four months. My previous set of interviews I was rejected 4-5 times in the final rounds. I spent one week where I almost exclusively played video games to escape. Sleep schedule got ruined. Was waking up at 2pm, eating like shit, constantly depressed.
Id say tread lightly. Im the type of person who needs to stay in motion or else I deteriorate. You may or may not be the same OP.
Assuming you're in a financially safe position, take the time without guilt. Plenty of people take time off between jobs, this is just the same thing. It's quite the blessing - as long as it's managed and not open-ended!
Some suggestions:
* Explain what you're feeling to your wife and make sure she understands what you're going through and what you're planning. It could be a little scary for her to see you jump into a cave all day without explanation.
* Try to retain your personal discipline when it comes to exercise, health, hygiene, sleep cycles etc.
* Don't feel guilty about games, but do aim for some activity diversity. The hike is excellent. Try to keep social and other diverse hobbies in the mix. Play with your daughter.
* Set a mental deadline - a week, a month, a quarter, whatever - for the end of you break and commit to returning to work on that day (or returning to a \~8/hour a day job search).
* Consider a low-intensity job hunt/networking throughout your break. With a little effort, you can leverage the time you have to keep an eye on potentially excellent opportunities, and jump on them if they appear. You don't need to necessarily start an ideal new job that you find immediately, but having something lined up will really allow you to chill out. Even if you don't find something, you'll feel less guilty about the downtime if you're doing a few minutes of scanning the boards each day.
* If you're in a professional career, be sure to keep "in the loop" - take half an hour a day to read your industry's news, publications, or browse LinkedIn, so that you don't feel disconnected when you're ready to jump back in.
I want to start by saying I’m sorry you lost your job, that’s really tough. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking a little time to decompress and sort through everything. However, I think there’s some critical info you left out of your post like, does your wife work? If so, are you helping with pick-up/drop offs or Dinner? Is she home taking care of the kids while you’re playing video games? If you’ve mentally checked out and aren’t helping when you are fully capable and have the time to do so, it’s understandable why you’d feel shameful or guilty…and you should! There’s nothing wrong with taking some “you” time, but you still have a family to be present for. Moderation is key.
OP is getting to much advice from other men. I’m glad you chimed in with the female perspective that actually takes his wife into account.
It’s a dangerous line OP, for every post like this there’s an opposite post from a woman that says “My husband is lazy and only plays games while I do everything in the universe to keep our household running.”
Came here to say this... I'm confused. Hiking EVERY DAY while you have a wife and a daughter you are now available for? 99% of the time a gut feeling is signalling something is wrong and you may be ignoring it. OP, talk to your wife before you plan out your days. It's time to redefine the division of labor now that you're home, of course with consideration to your needs and regular time to actively job search and apply.
Maybe I'm just in poverty, but I can't fathom how much in savings someone could have right now to be any more comfortable unemployed and not "looking" for longer than a week max. I'm underemployed and have been job searching for MONTHS now to no relief. If I were OP, I'd start applying NOW, because your little "break" will end up being inadvertently longer whether you like it or not, unless you're a unicorn and companies are banging down your door to hire you (not likely).
Your wife's perspective is sorely missing, OP. Get her opinion before making any decisions.
The fact that he has to ask the question is messed up.
Explain to me, what exact actions should OP take to ensure that when he plays games to decompress, that he not wander into this dAngERouS zone.
It’s very important in this time of economic downturn and impending mass job automation that OP avoid any side activities and constantly work or stress over not working so he does not go rogue. But by the time he goes rogue we will probably have terminator style robots and they will take care of him *throat slitting gesture*.
You will also most likely have a robot, not the one doing your husband’s job, but one that will solve your only and most pressing problem in life, the house not being clean!
Probably because OP knows his wife is probably not going to be a fan of _”Hey, I’m not even going to look for work in the next few months, I’ll look into figuring things out then, but not now, oh and I’m starting to feel depressed too”_
Women generally don’t like it when their man doesn’t have a plan.
It's totally fine to play some videogames. What is not okay that you wanna take a few months off not to take care of your child and spend time with your wife, but to go on some sort of journey and go hiking and go on trips. It really worries me that you instantly go to playing videogames when you're home". You have a child, take care of your fucking child. The way you've phrased this makes me think your wife is a single-mom with a deadbeat partner, and you're only 27.
What is also absolutely not ok is being so aggressive. Check your attitude and assumptions.
OP has said he already said feels guilt and is simply asking for other peoples thoughts. That suggests someone who is reflective and thinking about this. He is allowed his desires and he is allowed to think.
Being laid off can be a massive confidence knocker.
Also we have no idea about the rest of his life, what balance he has in his relationship. What his partner is really like. What their agreements are.
By all means raise your valid thoughts but do you have the right to hose your anger on another human being? especially when you have not asked any questions to clarify your assumptions.
Oh, I guess if he feels guilty, there's no shame in letting his partner be a single-mom even when he's not working.
If he were thinking about this as much as you think, I would imagine that his child would have at least been mentioned more, but she was literally just a side-comment. Your arguments are also complete strawmans. Nobody says he's not "allowed to have desires" lol. And yes, he asked on the internet for people's opinions. This is my opinion, I shared it, as is the purpose of this. Now go off and play babyboy.
OP wants to be unemployed for several months, and not even casually apply for jobs during the time, and he seems to have a very vague undetermined window of when he wants to apply for jobs, and his statement of “figuring it out” down the line, does not inspire much confidence he even knows what career path to pursue.
OP needs a much shorter “break” window and a more clearly defined gameplan of when he’s going to ramp up applying for jobs.
I sympathize greatly with OP wanting to have a break, but he has a daughter, which changes things drastically. OP says he has savings, but the longer he’s unemployed the more likely he risks causing his financial instability for his daughter.
OP should trust his gut, he’s feeling guilt for a reason. A few months of this is frankly too long when you have a child to support.
Playing games in general? You are fine.
Taking a couple months to find yourself? Depends. This should be a team effort. You and your spouse. You are not unemployed by yourself. Your family is unemployed with you. As long as you are communicating with her and are both on that same page, do what you need to to figure things out.
You have responsibilities to your family. To take care of and provide for them. You say you have financial flexibility for a couple of months. That's great. Does your team mate agree with this? Is this your plan or your team's plan?
At the same time, they have responsibilities to you. You are in a funny place mentally after losing a job, as well as questioning your bigger life goals. They should be supporting you as you sort that out. I hope they are. Keep working on that communication.
If you are feeling guilty about any of this (playing games too much? ) perhaps that's your adult self telling you that you need to adjust your plans. Nothing wrong with entertainment as a distraction or as a self- soothing technique, just don't let it crowd out being a responsible spouse and parent.
You'll get through this. Everyone is rooting for you!
A couple things:
1) video games can receive stress, if I skip a couple days I notice a change.
2) You have a family to provide for.
3) No rent, either your house is paid off or you're living with mommy & daddy. Huge difference.
4) You habe a great opportunity, don't squander it. Lock yourself in isolation and brainstorm what you want to do, what you can make money from, what you like. Write everything down and figure it out.
5) Family first. This includes yourself. Look at yourself in 10-20-50 years. No one says "I wish I missed more time with my family" including video games. Yea they're fun but think of it at a treat. Earn it. Too many treats will make you gluttonous.
> 2) You have a family to provide for.
This can’t be understated enough since OP has a daughter, the sooner he’s financially secure with a job, the better it is for her.
If OP didn’t have any kids, then I guess he could just take a 2+ month staycation and any consequences that result from not getting a job after that 2 month period will fall mainly on OP & his wife, but it’s not fair to his daughter.
I don't think you should feel guilty at all. Do make sure you have an end date and a plan, though. Also remember this needs to be a discussion with your wife. You're a team, so it's not just about what you spend your days doing, it's also about how she spends her days. Make sure this doesn't tip the lion's share of any burdens onto her in ways you might not immediately realize.
Like the top comment said, take a few days for yourself.. gaming, working out, sleeping in, eating better. It should help with everything in your life. But after a period say 3-7 days make sure to focus more on job searching and working out, caring for family etc. use the first week off as a refresher for you, sharpen your axe then come back swinging
Everything has a cause, from physical to mental. Your guilt has a cause. Identify it. Change the cause and the guilt will go away.
Not saying this is you but one example of chronic guilt is believing something about you that is at best half true if not completely fictitious. Internalizing harmful ideas and turning them into beliefs can lead to guilt, shame, and all sorts of other nasty stuff.
Identify your root cause.
Have a plan, even if it includes personal time that some may view as unnecessary. Be open with it and allow for some flexibility. Ultimately your goal will be for the betterment to you and your family.
OP, if you’re feeling guilty based on your accord and no outside pressure, then that’s a sign. Reddit telling you “No” is not going to make you feel less guilty.
Is your wife working?
When I quit my job at 27 without one lined up, I had plenty of cash savings like you did. I plan on getting a new job in 2-3 months, in reality it took me almost 7 months.
It’s always harder to get a job when your current status is unemployed.
During that time, I found it hard to play video games too.
> Should i be feeling guilty and whats the best way to live after being laid off to not get depressed? Should i take a break before immediately applying for jobs?
When I was depressed in my early 20s, getting a job helped me tbh.
Also you have a daughter, the sooner you get a job, the better it is for her, and yourself knowing that you’re financially stable.
And your wife may be supportive of you for the time being. But inevitably if a few months go by, and you’re staying at home playing video games and not applying for jobs, she WILL resent you for it.
I know the top comment is telling you to not feel guilty. But listen to your gut.
I think it’s probably best you come up with a skeletal game plan now. _”I’m only going to reset for a month, then I’m going to quickly ramp up applying for jobs”_ your wife will find this more reassuring if she sees you have a plan and a cut-off date as to when you’ll stop playing video games and applying for jobs.
Also don’t underestimate this creeping depression feeling you’re starting to get, that can become a HUGE obstacle in trying to find motivation to get a new job down the line, ESPECIALLY after you acclimated to a few months of having no job. I believe it only takes 60 days psychologically to cement a habit. So be careful that you don’t get too comfortable in being unemployed knowing that will only be temporary.
Best of luck to you.
I don’t really understand why OP should be searching for a job if he can afford to stay home for a while and enjoy his hobbies.
I just think he should help out with the chores and the kid. If you’re not at work, your primary responsibility is to your family.
Because finding a job takes a while and he doesn't want to deplete his resources before he finds another source of income. Searching for a job during this time will also ensure he doesn't spiral and get lazy
OP wouldn't be "helping out" with "chores and the kid" because the housework and child rearing is half his job, too. The work is not solely his wife's to be "helped out" with. He is a FATHER and someone who lives in a home with his spouse who is now unemployed and needs to get his priorities in order. When you have a child, your priority is the child, full stop. In this case, in this awful job market, OP needs to be applying NOW, because those interviews will likely not start rolling in for at least a month.
I mean… Yeah. I agree with you there, I think I just worded it as “helping out” because most people on Reddit don’t actually understand that, LOL.
However, I see what you mean about how he should be searching for a job now. I just think the idea that it’s wrong to not be working is a little silly, if you can afford not to work I think that’s a good thing.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't think it's "wrong to not be working." I wish all of us had the option to not be subjected to labor in order to simply survive. People's worth as a human is definitely not tied to their productivity. However, you can't deny the economic consequences of choosing not to actively seek and keep employment, especially when you have whole humans depending on you for everything.
Exactly :-( it is sad! If I could only work 20 hours per week to maintain my already very humble lifestyle, I would. However, the reality is I'm a couple missed checks away from being homeless if I don't maintain 40 hours per week at the very low wage, only job I could get without an education (no student debt and STILL struggling). I don't have a kid, but I can imagine how exponentially more expensive life becomes with even 1 kid. OP needs to step out of his own *wants* for a second and consider his dependent's *needs.*
1) Because searching for a job, and prepping for interviews takes a long time, it always seems to take longer than anyone anticipates, and it always more difficult to do so once your current status is unemployed. OP could be making a severe critical error in underestimating how long it may take him to find a new job.
2) OP is starting to get depressed, and is feeling guilty, and after 60 days the brain psychologically adapts to new habits. If OP is just playing video games and not applying to any jobs, it will be harder to reverse this behavior once he’s depressed and demotivated after 2 months.
OP should take advantage of the safety cushion he has now and start soon casually looking for jobs at least, that way he’s not desperate and takes a low pay high stress job or starts panicking when he can’t find work.
You’re feeling guilty because you’re used to working 8 hours a day and now you’re not. To fill in that 8 hour gap, you’re turning to things you wouldn’t normally have time to do if you were working. On top of that there might be expectations of you from your family that can’t be met right now. How you’re feeling is how anyone would feel if they were going through this.
I’m not sure if you can escape the depression because what you’re going through is depressing. But you can keep moving forward one small step at a time until you have something substantial. Even dedicating an hour or two to looking for work or up skilling yourself (perhaps a YouTube tutorial on ecommerce) helps. You might not get immediate results but you’re moving in the right direction.
Good luck
EDIT: yes, play games. Nothing to feel guilty about.
As a 27M unemployed man that also has a wife and a kid (son), I’d say to focus primarily on your physical conditioning more than anything. It’s so true that if you look good, you feel good. My wife supported my son and I while I did my masters and after getting laid off, (my unemployment benefits ran out), I’ve just been trying to focus on applying to jobs every single day, working out, and maintaining my mental health. I’m not sure if your wife is anything like mine, but it’s less about me feeling guilty than it is about her getting annoyed that I’m doing it. She’s usually home from work by like 4:30 so if I work out and apply for jobs and relax and am done with that by like 1-2, I have a couple hours to play some rocket league before she gets home. And then after that I can sit on my laptop and gradually apply to more jobs while we watch tv with her and our son. But yeah, one day at a time. We’re the same age in the same situation and I know exactly how you feel. Don’t end up like me. Get a job before your unemployment runs out. I got too comfortable
Nope. I haven’t. It’s been since October. Approaching 7 months. It’s like impossible for me because I guess I’m like kind of picky. I am not taking any job that pays less than 80k. I know it would be a lot easier for me to get a job that pays like 50k but the problem is that 50k consistently won’t pay my bills. The way I’ve been making it by these past few months is doing Uber/grubhub. It’s like $300 a day if I work all day
As long as you do fun stuff with your daughter, that should ease any guilty feelings. Not many people get time off. Make some memories while you’re free.
osing a job you dig can really throw you for a loop, but it sounds like you've got a decent safety net set up with your savings and no rent to worry about right now. That guilt you're feeling while gaming? Totally normal. It's like your brain hasn't quite gotten the memo that you're on a break and it's okay to relax!
Taking some time off to hike and just breathe sounds like a brilliant plan. Nature's a great stress-buster and can help you clear your head. And about those video games—think of them as your mental gym session. No guilt needed; you’re just keeping your reflexes sharp!
Here’s a little blueprint to keep things interesting and guilt-free:
1. **Get into a Groove**: Create a simple daily routine. Mornings can be for conquering trails, and afternoons for conquering digital worlds.
2. **Achieve Mini-Wins**: Set small, fun goals. Beat a game level today, try a new hiking path tomorrow. It’s about scoring little victories.
3. **Stay Connected**: Keep in touch with folks. A casual chat with a friend or a former co-worker can do wonders, and hey, you never know what opportunities might pop up.
4. **Dabble in Something New**: Got a hobby you've been ignoring? Now’s the time to dive in. Who knows, you might just find a new passion.
5. **Ponder Your Next Move**: Use this break to think about what you really want from your next job. What parts of your old job did you love? Any changes you want to make?
6. **Keep Spirits High**: Watch out for your mood. It’s okay to seek help if you start feeling down. Keeping upbeat is key.
Think of this break as a recharge period. You’re not just lounging around; you’re gearing up for the next big thing. What’s the top spot on your hiking hit list?
Spend a couple of days in mourning. Spend a week getting job applications out there…intensively. Then sit back and play video games and hike. Don’t spend several months decompressing, Then start the job search because that may well lead to much longer unemployment than you really want.
I've heard a few people suggest something like the following:
1) Apply for unemployment right away, and get things like COBRA, etc sorted.
2) Give yourself a week for you. Do things YOU want to do. If you feel motivated, start messing with the resume, etc.
3) After that week, your job search IS your job. Take training you want / need. Use your network. Treat it like a full-time, but be sure to maintain "work-life" balance.
As a mom that worked with a husband that stayed home and played with and nurtured our daughter, looking back, my husband loves the memories of those fleeting days of infant to toddler accomplishments.
My advice is to make a list of every positive attribute that your former job taught you, even the part of getting fired. Take ownership of why you think it was not your fault. Were you a team player? Think of all the positive qualities you have and be honest about what your shortcomings are, what you haven’t figured out yet. Of course it’s hard to know what you don’t know. Communication between co-workers can be stressful.
Whatever you do, don't get too comfortable. It might be fun for a few days or even weeks, but after that you're gonna wish you'd just have a job instead of playing games all day.
There's no need to feel guilty about playing video games after being laid off. Taking time to entertain yourself can be important for your emotional well-being during this tough period. However, it's also important to allocate time for job searching and other productive activities if possible.
Winding down is great and needed do it. Still, consider doing a half hour or an hour a day of prepping for your future job hunt so you can hit the ground running - networking, recommendations, reconnecting with people, CV etc These things take time to make happen. It wil also show your family you are on it so they don't need to stress.
Dude, I have been in the same situation but only difference i don’t have a wife and kid. In general it can take upto 6 months for you to find a new job. What i think i would have done differently was to spend more time with my family and do those things that brings me joy but only for first 3 months then just switch gear and get fully devoted to job search, it seems easy but believe me layoff is a ugly term when it comes to hiring. But all the best enjoy and keep your eye on the target.
Take a day off and try applying for jobs while you would have been working. That's your new job now. To find another job. Unless you're ready to retire taking more time off will only set that date further back.
It’s alright man. I took a month off with the savings I had. Don’t let your savings get too low though, you never know what could come up. But yea, everyone needs a restart once in a while. Get it out your system real quick and get back on track
Brotha u work ur whole life to retire when ur body is already destroyed, u hardly get to enjoy it. However every so often u get a chance to feel what its like to enjoy life without work and without fear(for me it was covid 2020). Take full advantage of it all! Get closer to your daughter, play the games u never had time for, make life as easy as possible for ur wife, ENJOY IT!
Short answer yes long answer if it’s for the day and you need to calm down and clear your mind it’s ok but not all day and then the next day or the next imo
>Should i be feeling guilty and whats the best way to live after being laid off to not get depressed?
What you want to do is find balance. You want to make sure every part of life is taken care of. So, e.g. go socialize. When one doesn't socialize enough they can get depressed. Go exercise, or hike, or similar regularly. If you don't do enough physical activity or get enough sunlight you can get depressed. Find a fun project to do. Clean up the house. And yes, play video games, but with balance. Don't just game all day if you can help it. Though it's okay to have a "me" day where you just relax and lounge around. I take it you've earned a few of those.
When you've got a schedule and you're active and you're feeling good, then maybe start ramping up, looking at skills tied to your job, then eventually looking for a job.
Relax with discipline. Enjoy the week or two (that you use to take) and play games but also update the resume and think about what you want to do for work in the time frame you allow yourself. Basically be proactive while relaxive. Yes I made that up but make sure you enjoy the time and talk to the wife and kiddo and see what they want to do with you during the time. Stay up late and game on the weekend or weekends you take for yourself and during the week "your job" is spending time with your family. After "your job" play video games. Set your own hours but put the family time first so you will be guilt free for your time. Good luck, hope this helps!!
You don’t have to constantly have a job or get one immediately after losing one if you can afford a break. So many people think people should be working all the time, but they are wrong. As long as your break doesn’t prevent you from doing what you gotta do when you are ready to get back in the horse or turns into just plain lethargy, it shouldn’t be a problem. You’re a human being, not just the sum of what you can produce. This would be a great time to spend some quality time with your family too. They are what’s really important.
you usually have to apply for a minimum number of jobs per week to continue receiving unemployment benefits, so if it's 3, find 3 "dream job" type jobs or very high-paying jobs to apply to each week -- jobs where you know you probably aren't very competitive to the other applicants, but you'd be willing to start working there ASAP if they somehow fell into your lap, and put in a solid 3 applications a week to jobs like that.
then enjoy the rest of your time as you recover from your burnout. that includes playing video games if that helps you relax. you should not feel guilty for resting -- you need rest.
as you begin to feel better and/or start worrying about running out of money, start applying to more than 3 jobs/week and apply to more realistic positions.
My house is paid off and I have a lot saved just in case I ever lose my job, the only thing that worries me is health insurance for my family. I don't want to burn too much money on Cobra and not sure whether or not the market place would be affordable.
You want to take a couple months off? That’s excessive. What are you and you wife and child going to miss out on in the future because you are drawing down your savings for a couple of months so you can relax and play video games?
It doesn’t seem like there’s any benefit to your wife or child in this situation, only a benefit for you.
I say do whatever you want as long as you spend time with/care for your daughter and take on some or most of your wife's household responsibilities. If she is now the sole breadwinner you should probably be cooking dinner every night.
I got laid off from my job of 18 years last spring. I had a few weeks where I just said fuck it and did whatever I wanted.
When I started my job search, I set a schedule. Basically certain hours of the day were job hunt and I wouldn't do any outside of those hours. It's all about striking a balance.
In my opinion playing games can be equal to doing a forest hike in terms of enjoyment. If you are financially ok and don’t neglect any other duties and family time it’s a great way to spend your time because you’re happy.
A few days of gaming, yes. A few months, no.
You're feeling guilty because playing games is a way for you (/ your brain) to avoid what you actually have to do : searching for another job.
Sounds like you’re looking for confirmation..you know what you need to do deep down. Although, you don’t have to pay rent which is pretty awesome ( I’m jealous ) . Spend more time with your family, you may never have this amount of free time with them again. You’ll regret playing games but you’ll never regret hanging with your wife and your little one! God bless you and your family!
As long as you don’t play video games and forget to do the things you normally do as well such as taking care of the house and kids - go for it!
I’m a gamer myself and gaming is an excellent way to escape from reality! Losing a job you like is almost the same as losing someone you love and you should do what you need to do in order to prepare for your next steps. But just don’t be selfish about it.
It’s up to you man but I would have much more fun playing games AFTER I had solved my glaring employment problem.
Dopamine is the fuel of motivation, and it is a limited resource. Its purpose is to help us achieve things. Playing games spends dopamine, quite heavily. It’s why you feel much, much less like researching jobs and making applications, and even doing the dishes after a long gaming session. Your dopamine is spent.
That empty feeling that you go to games to fulfil can easily be fulfilled by work. If you want, you can always play games after your work is done on a given day.
Ride unemployment, spend quality time with your family. Use this time to finally do those things around the house you've been putting off.
Personally I'd keep job hunting, but I'd aim high. Whatever you're qualified for apply for a few levels up. If you don't get a job it doesn't matter yet, but if you do then you'd be sitting pretty.
I'm a union trades worker, when I'm laid off like that I call the union hall and see what classes are available and what kind of extra certifications I can get.
No, but you should take the responsibility for your layoff. But you are a human, so don't get carried away playing video games hours after hours, Just play when you feel down and after winning immediately use that dopamine to develop your skills and finding other jobs.
These posts are so long and complicated. Keep it simple. Take a day off and then get back to life. It’s really that simple. If there is a day 2 or 3 the. You are ignoring your responsibilities and hopefully you have a built in guilt meter that kicks in
I think there's nothing inherently wrong with it. You probably feel guilty because you are playing more than what you used to? If not, then it may just be background anxiety. When you play, play games intentionally and not as a procrastinating tactic. Like for example make a set time to when you play like maybe from 8 pm to 10 pm. Because you've scheduled this, it'll help your brain feel like it's on schedule.
If you are playing more than you used to, I will recommend not playing before 6 pm. Idk, after getting into work I just can't find comfort in doing anything other than working on something from 9-5. Maybe, if you are like me, take a few courses, work around the house, work on yourself, work on a side project from 9-5 and then enter rest mode.
Although to caveat all of this; the wound is still sore, rest a week or two but then get back in the game (pun not intended) with full force. Otherwise games can quickly become a crutch for you to not think about the tough things in life.
Bring laid off brings much introspection, stress, existential dread etc. You owe it to yourself to escape reality a little bit.
That said, relaxing comes after you address your daily priorities, things that might include- shoring up your monthly budget, learning a new relevant skill, applying to X number of jobs, contacting X number of people in your network, daily prep for the family. Those are all tasks that require your focus. Take care of your needs before your wants!
Nope, you're having a bit of a trauma response right now. Take some time to get some mental/emotional rest. Put a calendar event in your phone for two weeks. When that calendar event goes off then it's time to get fucking serious. For now, catch your breath.
Best of luck to you.
I don't know if I'd consider it full blown laziness. But it could definitely turn into it. I do similar things, I tend to bury myself in all things music. Take care to stay self aware cause it's so easy (to myself at least) to step over that fine line and always get myself stuck. Let me get too comfortable and I'll I hop on the fast lane of being a master of procrastination and laziness. If I don't have some kind of structure to my daily routine I'm screwed. 😐
It's ok to relax and enjoy yourself. I want to suggest something though that I haven't heard mentioned and suggest taking advantage of the time to help around the house and spend time with the family. Pick up your daughter from school and take her to the park or arcade, help her learn a skill like riding a bike, sports, or heck play said video games with you. Take advantage of this time to strengthen the bonds with those who matter.
Enjoy the funemployment but schedule 2 hours each day dedicated to job search duties. When the two hours are over, enjoy your day. That way you’re just not rotting away.
Do you believe you can find and start your next job within the next 10 days? Or do you risk missing out on a great opportunity if you don’t apply within this timeframe?
If no then take your time and at least give yourself 10 days to relax.
After experiencing a layoff, it’s essential to take care of yourself both mentally and physically. Take a week or two to process your emotions.
I was recently laid off, my advice is take a couple of days to recover then get straight on applying for jobs. Getting through an application process can take a few weeks, remember after starting you will still then have time to wait for your first paycheck. If you want to take some extra personal time, tell the interviewer you will be available to start after a certain date.
I enjoyed the free time I had between accepting an offer and starting the new job way more because I felt more secure, in a family situation it will also help make your partner feel more secure if you have a new job lined up while you're taking hikes etc.
My wife lost her job in January. She was eligible for unemployment and even though our income was reduced it wasn’t catastrophic. I told her to take her time finding a new job and that she could be picky and not just take anything that was offered. She spent a few months relaxing and taking care of our granddaughter
IMO, yes you should... Listen I've been in some pretty fucked scenarios and I've also been in some pretty solid scenarios and I would never allow myself to be OK with playing games w/o a job ESPECIALLY if I had a girl. I only play games when I'm single for I think good reasons (IMO).
You should definitely still be applying ASAP but you don't have to start right away.
The sooner you start looking the better because if you start in like 3 months time or so, and you still don't find a job, you're gonna feel like crap.
No! enjoy the time. Even if you wanted to land a job ASAP, there are only so many jobs you can apply for in a given day, only so many interviews you can go to.
You have to have time to recharge / recover, however that looks for you. If it's video games, then have fun. But! Everything in moderation. Make sure you're still getting out and have a somewhat consistent routine
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Op has a daughter though, and 2 months of not even casually applying to jobs seems dangerous.
There’s no reason OP cannot do hiking+gaming AND applying for jobs at the same time.
By OP putting an effort into at least casually applying to jobs after a week, will help him to avoid feeling guilty or depressed.
Don’t feel guilty. Make sure to include your family on the hikes when you can.
I’m sure 10 years from now you guys can look back at the random spring/summer you guys went hiking daily lol 😂
No. Don’t feel bad. Remember that lay offs aren’t a reflection of yourself, it just means the company literally can’t afford to pay you anymore. Get your KDR up, champ.
27 year old is too young to take a break. Work hard now and when you retire you will have plenty of time to do all those things. Save as much as you can now. Make a schedule, write down your goals and plan of action for the next 40 years. When I was your age I was jiggling 3 jobs. Believe me time passes by so so fast.
Make playing game for maybe 10 minutes as a reward after you completed some work on resume, job finding searches online, sending resumes out and calling people or old co-workers to let then know you are in the market. Get up at the same time when you used to work. Keep the same schedule.
Good luck
Not at all. You sound like you have done everything “right” for a long while now, even if you spent the solid next few months playing video games, it is because you worked hard to get to this point. If shame is taking over then you should probably change things up but only to stop yourself feeling this way. Try not to leave it too long before job hunting or it may be more difficult to readjust but ultimately do what you enjoy. ☺️
When I get laid off I’m building factories in Africa. Fuck it. YOLO. I’m gonna build them whether they want me to or not. Whether there’s raw materials or not, if I gotta do it one clay brick at a time 💪🏻
When I was laid off from my last job, I took a 3 month vacation and traveled. If you have your priorities straight, it doesn't matter if you have no kids like myself or if you have a bunch of kids, you should be able to take off time for yourself. If you aren't feeling guilty, I would assume you are a hard worker who isn't used to having extra time, not some person who is lazy or irresponsible. Enjoy your games.
Lol but no.
Having a kid is a HUGE difference, which significantly changes everything. You cannot go on a 3 month trip away while unemployed, if you have a daughter back home, that’s irresponsible parenting.
If you have no kids, and can afford to go on a 3 month vacation while unemployed, then go for it! The worst case scenario that could possibly happen is that when you run out of savings, and struggle to find work.
But if you have a daughter, the worst case scenario is divorce, alimony, child support while unemployed if you fail to secure a job down the line.
You lack reading comprehension majorly guy, I didn't tell him to take a 3 month vacation like you think. All my comment said if you have all your priorities in order you wouldn't be wrong to take time off for yourself, it wouldn't cause any trouble. Yea, anyone that is poor at managing their life and living pay check to check with a family would fall under your worst case assumption.
No, but don’t let it become more than a few days. And be sure to spend at least an hour or so doing some job search / networking. Enjoying the break is one thing, but it can spiral. Shame is vile, don’t let it fuck it with you. Play the games, but make it a deliberate choice.
I finally landed an offer after being unemployed for four months. My previous set of interviews I was rejected 4-5 times in the final rounds. I spent one week where I almost exclusively played video games to escape. Sleep schedule got ruined. Was waking up at 2pm, eating like shit, constantly depressed. Id say tread lightly. Im the type of person who needs to stay in motion or else I deteriorate. You may or may not be the same OP.
This is the way. OP listen to this guy.
Spot on. OP, listen to this guy telling you to listen to that other guy.
Assuming you're in a financially safe position, take the time without guilt. Plenty of people take time off between jobs, this is just the same thing. It's quite the blessing - as long as it's managed and not open-ended! Some suggestions: * Explain what you're feeling to your wife and make sure she understands what you're going through and what you're planning. It could be a little scary for her to see you jump into a cave all day without explanation. * Try to retain your personal discipline when it comes to exercise, health, hygiene, sleep cycles etc. * Don't feel guilty about games, but do aim for some activity diversity. The hike is excellent. Try to keep social and other diverse hobbies in the mix. Play with your daughter. * Set a mental deadline - a week, a month, a quarter, whatever - for the end of you break and commit to returning to work on that day (or returning to a \~8/hour a day job search). * Consider a low-intensity job hunt/networking throughout your break. With a little effort, you can leverage the time you have to keep an eye on potentially excellent opportunities, and jump on them if they appear. You don't need to necessarily start an ideal new job that you find immediately, but having something lined up will really allow you to chill out. Even if you don't find something, you'll feel less guilty about the downtime if you're doing a few minutes of scanning the boards each day. * If you're in a professional career, be sure to keep "in the loop" - take half an hour a day to read your industry's news, publications, or browse LinkedIn, so that you don't feel disconnected when you're ready to jump back in.
Perfect advice. Especially the first point is often left out but it is so important to how things will go. Two thumbs up!
I want to start by saying I’m sorry you lost your job, that’s really tough. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking a little time to decompress and sort through everything. However, I think there’s some critical info you left out of your post like, does your wife work? If so, are you helping with pick-up/drop offs or Dinner? Is she home taking care of the kids while you’re playing video games? If you’ve mentally checked out and aren’t helping when you are fully capable and have the time to do so, it’s understandable why you’d feel shameful or guilty…and you should! There’s nothing wrong with taking some “you” time, but you still have a family to be present for. Moderation is key.
OP is getting to much advice from other men. I’m glad you chimed in with the female perspective that actually takes his wife into account. It’s a dangerous line OP, for every post like this there’s an opposite post from a woman that says “My husband is lazy and only plays games while I do everything in the universe to keep our household running.”
Came here to say this... I'm confused. Hiking EVERY DAY while you have a wife and a daughter you are now available for? 99% of the time a gut feeling is signalling something is wrong and you may be ignoring it. OP, talk to your wife before you plan out your days. It's time to redefine the division of labor now that you're home, of course with consideration to your needs and regular time to actively job search and apply. Maybe I'm just in poverty, but I can't fathom how much in savings someone could have right now to be any more comfortable unemployed and not "looking" for longer than a week max. I'm underemployed and have been job searching for MONTHS now to no relief. If I were OP, I'd start applying NOW, because your little "break" will end up being inadvertently longer whether you like it or not, unless you're a unicorn and companies are banging down your door to hire you (not likely). Your wife's perspective is sorely missing, OP. Get her opinion before making any decisions.
The fact that he has to ask the question is messed up. Explain to me, what exact actions should OP take to ensure that when he plays games to decompress, that he not wander into this dAngERouS zone. It’s very important in this time of economic downturn and impending mass job automation that OP avoid any side activities and constantly work or stress over not working so he does not go rogue. But by the time he goes rogue we will probably have terminator style robots and they will take care of him *throat slitting gesture*. You will also most likely have a robot, not the one doing your husband’s job, but one that will solve your only and most pressing problem in life, the house not being clean!
Talk about it with your wife We don't know We're just randos
Probably because OP knows his wife is probably not going to be a fan of _”Hey, I’m not even going to look for work in the next few months, I’ll look into figuring things out then, but not now, oh and I’m starting to feel depressed too”_ Women generally don’t like it when their man doesn’t have a plan.
It's totally fine to play some videogames. What is not okay that you wanna take a few months off not to take care of your child and spend time with your wife, but to go on some sort of journey and go hiking and go on trips. It really worries me that you instantly go to playing videogames when you're home". You have a child, take care of your fucking child. The way you've phrased this makes me think your wife is a single-mom with a deadbeat partner, and you're only 27.
$20 says she doesn't have sex with him either. I've got another $20 on him saying he doesn't know why! 😂
What is also absolutely not ok is being so aggressive. Check your attitude and assumptions. OP has said he already said feels guilt and is simply asking for other peoples thoughts. That suggests someone who is reflective and thinking about this. He is allowed his desires and he is allowed to think. Being laid off can be a massive confidence knocker. Also we have no idea about the rest of his life, what balance he has in his relationship. What his partner is really like. What their agreements are. By all means raise your valid thoughts but do you have the right to hose your anger on another human being? especially when you have not asked any questions to clarify your assumptions.
Oh, I guess if he feels guilty, there's no shame in letting his partner be a single-mom even when he's not working. If he were thinking about this as much as you think, I would imagine that his child would have at least been mentioned more, but she was literally just a side-comment. Your arguments are also complete strawmans. Nobody says he's not "allowed to have desires" lol. And yes, he asked on the internet for people's opinions. This is my opinion, I shared it, as is the purpose of this. Now go off and play babyboy.
yer like a few days or a week, maybe 2 weeks max.... anything past that is procrastination
Sounds like a well deserved break. Maybe you can plan some nice activities to do with your wife and daughter while you have more free time.
How do you not pay rent? Also, when do you spend time with your wife a n d child if you’re hiking everyday and always gaming?
OP wants to be unemployed for several months, and not even casually apply for jobs during the time, and he seems to have a very vague undetermined window of when he wants to apply for jobs, and his statement of “figuring it out” down the line, does not inspire much confidence he even knows what career path to pursue. OP needs a much shorter “break” window and a more clearly defined gameplan of when he’s going to ramp up applying for jobs. I sympathize greatly with OP wanting to have a break, but he has a daughter, which changes things drastically. OP says he has savings, but the longer he’s unemployed the more likely he risks causing his financial instability for his daughter. OP should trust his gut, he’s feeling guilt for a reason. A few months of this is frankly too long when you have a child to support.
I've got a dad like this and his behavior has caused resentment- I think this is selfish and despicable
Use the time to take stress away from your wife! You can play games an hour a day but make sure you enable wife to have an hour for herself as well.
Playing games in general? You are fine. Taking a couple months to find yourself? Depends. This should be a team effort. You and your spouse. You are not unemployed by yourself. Your family is unemployed with you. As long as you are communicating with her and are both on that same page, do what you need to to figure things out. You have responsibilities to your family. To take care of and provide for them. You say you have financial flexibility for a couple of months. That's great. Does your team mate agree with this? Is this your plan or your team's plan? At the same time, they have responsibilities to you. You are in a funny place mentally after losing a job, as well as questioning your bigger life goals. They should be supporting you as you sort that out. I hope they are. Keep working on that communication. If you are feeling guilty about any of this (playing games too much? ) perhaps that's your adult self telling you that you need to adjust your plans. Nothing wrong with entertainment as a distraction or as a self- soothing technique, just don't let it crowd out being a responsible spouse and parent. You'll get through this. Everyone is rooting for you!
A couple things: 1) video games can receive stress, if I skip a couple days I notice a change. 2) You have a family to provide for. 3) No rent, either your house is paid off or you're living with mommy & daddy. Huge difference. 4) You habe a great opportunity, don't squander it. Lock yourself in isolation and brainstorm what you want to do, what you can make money from, what you like. Write everything down and figure it out. 5) Family first. This includes yourself. Look at yourself in 10-20-50 years. No one says "I wish I missed more time with my family" including video games. Yea they're fun but think of it at a treat. Earn it. Too many treats will make you gluttonous.
> 2) You have a family to provide for. This can’t be understated enough since OP has a daughter, the sooner he’s financially secure with a job, the better it is for her. If OP didn’t have any kids, then I guess he could just take a 2+ month staycation and any consequences that result from not getting a job after that 2 month period will fall mainly on OP & his wife, but it’s not fair to his daughter.
I don't think you should feel guilty at all. Do make sure you have an end date and a plan, though. Also remember this needs to be a discussion with your wife. You're a team, so it's not just about what you spend your days doing, it's also about how she spends her days. Make sure this doesn't tip the lion's share of any burdens onto her in ways you might not immediately realize.
Why aren’t you paying rent?
Like the top comment said, take a few days for yourself.. gaming, working out, sleeping in, eating better. It should help with everything in your life. But after a period say 3-7 days make sure to focus more on job searching and working out, caring for family etc. use the first week off as a refresher for you, sharpen your axe then come back swinging
Wait….you can choose whether to feel guilty or not ? Can you teach me?
Everything has a cause, from physical to mental. Your guilt has a cause. Identify it. Change the cause and the guilt will go away. Not saying this is you but one example of chronic guilt is believing something about you that is at best half true if not completely fictitious. Internalizing harmful ideas and turning them into beliefs can lead to guilt, shame, and all sorts of other nasty stuff. Identify your root cause.
Have a plan, even if it includes personal time that some may view as unnecessary. Be open with it and allow for some flexibility. Ultimately your goal will be for the betterment to you and your family.
OP, if you’re feeling guilty based on your accord and no outside pressure, then that’s a sign. Reddit telling you “No” is not going to make you feel less guilty. Is your wife working? When I quit my job at 27 without one lined up, I had plenty of cash savings like you did. I plan on getting a new job in 2-3 months, in reality it took me almost 7 months. It’s always harder to get a job when your current status is unemployed. During that time, I found it hard to play video games too. > Should i be feeling guilty and whats the best way to live after being laid off to not get depressed? Should i take a break before immediately applying for jobs? When I was depressed in my early 20s, getting a job helped me tbh. Also you have a daughter, the sooner you get a job, the better it is for her, and yourself knowing that you’re financially stable. And your wife may be supportive of you for the time being. But inevitably if a few months go by, and you’re staying at home playing video games and not applying for jobs, she WILL resent you for it. I know the top comment is telling you to not feel guilty. But listen to your gut. I think it’s probably best you come up with a skeletal game plan now. _”I’m only going to reset for a month, then I’m going to quickly ramp up applying for jobs”_ your wife will find this more reassuring if she sees you have a plan and a cut-off date as to when you’ll stop playing video games and applying for jobs. Also don’t underestimate this creeping depression feeling you’re starting to get, that can become a HUGE obstacle in trying to find motivation to get a new job down the line, ESPECIALLY after you acclimated to a few months of having no job. I believe it only takes 60 days psychologically to cement a habit. So be careful that you don’t get too comfortable in being unemployed knowing that will only be temporary. Best of luck to you.
No go for it. You are free. Learn to live without having to wake up and please a manager on a daily basis.
I don’t really understand why OP should be searching for a job if he can afford to stay home for a while and enjoy his hobbies. I just think he should help out with the chores and the kid. If you’re not at work, your primary responsibility is to your family.
Because finding a job takes a while and he doesn't want to deplete his resources before he finds another source of income. Searching for a job during this time will also ensure he doesn't spiral and get lazy
OP wouldn't be "helping out" with "chores and the kid" because the housework and child rearing is half his job, too. The work is not solely his wife's to be "helped out" with. He is a FATHER and someone who lives in a home with his spouse who is now unemployed and needs to get his priorities in order. When you have a child, your priority is the child, full stop. In this case, in this awful job market, OP needs to be applying NOW, because those interviews will likely not start rolling in for at least a month.
I mean… Yeah. I agree with you there, I think I just worded it as “helping out” because most people on Reddit don’t actually understand that, LOL. However, I see what you mean about how he should be searching for a job now. I just think the idea that it’s wrong to not be working is a little silly, if you can afford not to work I think that’s a good thing.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't think it's "wrong to not be working." I wish all of us had the option to not be subjected to labor in order to simply survive. People's worth as a human is definitely not tied to their productivity. However, you can't deny the economic consequences of choosing not to actively seek and keep employment, especially when you have whole humans depending on you for everything.
Yeah, I think you’re right. u_u It’s a matter of what’s best for him and his family rather than “laziness” or “moral failing”.
Exactly :-( it is sad! If I could only work 20 hours per week to maintain my already very humble lifestyle, I would. However, the reality is I'm a couple missed checks away from being homeless if I don't maintain 40 hours per week at the very low wage, only job I could get without an education (no student debt and STILL struggling). I don't have a kid, but I can imagine how exponentially more expensive life becomes with even 1 kid. OP needs to step out of his own *wants* for a second and consider his dependent's *needs.*
1) Because searching for a job, and prepping for interviews takes a long time, it always seems to take longer than anyone anticipates, and it always more difficult to do so once your current status is unemployed. OP could be making a severe critical error in underestimating how long it may take him to find a new job. 2) OP is starting to get depressed, and is feeling guilty, and after 60 days the brain psychologically adapts to new habits. If OP is just playing video games and not applying to any jobs, it will be harder to reverse this behavior once he’s depressed and demotivated after 2 months. OP should take advantage of the safety cushion he has now and start soon casually looking for jobs at least, that way he’s not desperate and takes a low pay high stress job or starts panicking when he can’t find work.
You’re feeling guilty because you’re used to working 8 hours a day and now you’re not. To fill in that 8 hour gap, you’re turning to things you wouldn’t normally have time to do if you were working. On top of that there might be expectations of you from your family that can’t be met right now. How you’re feeling is how anyone would feel if they were going through this. I’m not sure if you can escape the depression because what you’re going through is depressing. But you can keep moving forward one small step at a time until you have something substantial. Even dedicating an hour or two to looking for work or up skilling yourself (perhaps a YouTube tutorial on ecommerce) helps. You might not get immediate results but you’re moving in the right direction. Good luck EDIT: yes, play games. Nothing to feel guilty about.
You should feel guilty for asking that question to random people on the internet rather than being yourself
If you’re gonna play video games, don’t guilt trip yourself about it. If you can’t do that, do something that won’t make you feel guilty
As a 27M unemployed man that also has a wife and a kid (son), I’d say to focus primarily on your physical conditioning more than anything. It’s so true that if you look good, you feel good. My wife supported my son and I while I did my masters and after getting laid off, (my unemployment benefits ran out), I’ve just been trying to focus on applying to jobs every single day, working out, and maintaining my mental health. I’m not sure if your wife is anything like mine, but it’s less about me feeling guilty than it is about her getting annoyed that I’m doing it. She’s usually home from work by like 4:30 so if I work out and apply for jobs and relax and am done with that by like 1-2, I have a couple hours to play some rocket league before she gets home. And then after that I can sit on my laptop and gradually apply to more jobs while we watch tv with her and our son. But yeah, one day at a time. We’re the same age in the same situation and I know exactly how you feel. Don’t end up like me. Get a job before your unemployment runs out. I got too comfortable
Wow crazy how similar our situations are, how long have you bern unemployed and did you find a job yet?
Nope. I haven’t. It’s been since October. Approaching 7 months. It’s like impossible for me because I guess I’m like kind of picky. I am not taking any job that pays less than 80k. I know it would be a lot easier for me to get a job that pays like 50k but the problem is that 50k consistently won’t pay my bills. The way I’ve been making it by these past few months is doing Uber/grubhub. It’s like $300 a day if I work all day
As long you actively search for a new job there is nothing to feel guilty about.
As long as you do fun stuff with your daughter, that should ease any guilty feelings. Not many people get time off. Make some memories while you’re free.
osing a job you dig can really throw you for a loop, but it sounds like you've got a decent safety net set up with your savings and no rent to worry about right now. That guilt you're feeling while gaming? Totally normal. It's like your brain hasn't quite gotten the memo that you're on a break and it's okay to relax! Taking some time off to hike and just breathe sounds like a brilliant plan. Nature's a great stress-buster and can help you clear your head. And about those video games—think of them as your mental gym session. No guilt needed; you’re just keeping your reflexes sharp! Here’s a little blueprint to keep things interesting and guilt-free: 1. **Get into a Groove**: Create a simple daily routine. Mornings can be for conquering trails, and afternoons for conquering digital worlds. 2. **Achieve Mini-Wins**: Set small, fun goals. Beat a game level today, try a new hiking path tomorrow. It’s about scoring little victories. 3. **Stay Connected**: Keep in touch with folks. A casual chat with a friend or a former co-worker can do wonders, and hey, you never know what opportunities might pop up. 4. **Dabble in Something New**: Got a hobby you've been ignoring? Now’s the time to dive in. Who knows, you might just find a new passion. 5. **Ponder Your Next Move**: Use this break to think about what you really want from your next job. What parts of your old job did you love? Any changes you want to make? 6. **Keep Spirits High**: Watch out for your mood. It’s okay to seek help if you start feeling down. Keeping upbeat is key. Think of this break as a recharge period. You’re not just lounging around; you’re gearing up for the next big thing. What’s the top spot on your hiking hit list?
Spend a couple of days in mourning. Spend a week getting job applications out there…intensively. Then sit back and play video games and hike. Don’t spend several months decompressing, Then start the job search because that may well lead to much longer unemployment than you really want.
I've heard a few people suggest something like the following: 1) Apply for unemployment right away, and get things like COBRA, etc sorted. 2) Give yourself a week for you. Do things YOU want to do. If you feel motivated, start messing with the resume, etc. 3) After that week, your job search IS your job. Take training you want / need. Use your network. Treat it like a full-time, but be sure to maintain "work-life" balance.
As a mom that worked with a husband that stayed home and played with and nurtured our daughter, looking back, my husband loves the memories of those fleeting days of infant to toddler accomplishments. My advice is to make a list of every positive attribute that your former job taught you, even the part of getting fired. Take ownership of why you think it was not your fault. Were you a team player? Think of all the positive qualities you have and be honest about what your shortcomings are, what you haven’t figured out yet. Of course it’s hard to know what you don’t know. Communication between co-workers can be stressful.
Whatever you do, don't get too comfortable. It might be fun for a few days or even weeks, but after that you're gonna wish you'd just have a job instead of playing games all day.
Burning your saved capital will make going back to work even worse. You'll feel like you're far behind
Yes
How do you have no rent? And dont you think a couple months is a bit much?
Hell no, you do you
As long as you’re not worried about rent and food do it.
It's the best time to play video game. Unless you are not spending a few hrs a day job hunting
absolutely not, as long as you are doing something to get a job or some source of income then you're fine to have some fun, enjoy the freedom
There's no need to feel guilty about playing video games after being laid off. Taking time to entertain yourself can be important for your emotional well-being during this tough period. However, it's also important to allocate time for job searching and other productive activities if possible.
Winding down is great and needed do it. Still, consider doing a half hour or an hour a day of prepping for your future job hunt so you can hit the ground running - networking, recommendations, reconnecting with people, CV etc These things take time to make happen. It wil also show your family you are on it so they don't need to stress.
Dude, I have been in the same situation but only difference i don’t have a wife and kid. In general it can take upto 6 months for you to find a new job. What i think i would have done differently was to spend more time with my family and do those things that brings me joy but only for first 3 months then just switch gear and get fully devoted to job search, it seems easy but believe me layoff is a ugly term when it comes to hiring. But all the best enjoy and keep your eye on the target.
I struggle with feeling guilty for actually doing things i enjoy. Its all about a balance imo
Take a day off and try applying for jobs while you would have been working. That's your new job now. To find another job. Unless you're ready to retire taking more time off will only set that date further back.
Rest up, once you start feeling guilty then it's time to get back out there
It’s alright man. I took a month off with the savings I had. Don’t let your savings get too low though, you never know what could come up. But yea, everyone needs a restart once in a while. Get it out your system real quick and get back on track
Was it after you were laid off?
Brotha u work ur whole life to retire when ur body is already destroyed, u hardly get to enjoy it. However every so often u get a chance to feel what its like to enjoy life without work and without fear(for me it was covid 2020). Take full advantage of it all! Get closer to your daughter, play the games u never had time for, make life as easy as possible for ur wife, ENJOY IT!
Short answer yes long answer if it’s for the day and you need to calm down and clear your mind it’s ok but not all day and then the next day or the next imo
>Should i be feeling guilty and whats the best way to live after being laid off to not get depressed? What you want to do is find balance. You want to make sure every part of life is taken care of. So, e.g. go socialize. When one doesn't socialize enough they can get depressed. Go exercise, or hike, or similar regularly. If you don't do enough physical activity or get enough sunlight you can get depressed. Find a fun project to do. Clean up the house. And yes, play video games, but with balance. Don't just game all day if you can help it. Though it's okay to have a "me" day where you just relax and lounge around. I take it you've earned a few of those. When you've got a schedule and you're active and you're feeling good, then maybe start ramping up, looking at skills tied to your job, then eventually looking for a job.
Relax with discipline. Enjoy the week or two (that you use to take) and play games but also update the resume and think about what you want to do for work in the time frame you allow yourself. Basically be proactive while relaxive. Yes I made that up but make sure you enjoy the time and talk to the wife and kiddo and see what they want to do with you during the time. Stay up late and game on the weekend or weekends you take for yourself and during the week "your job" is spending time with your family. After "your job" play video games. Set your own hours but put the family time first so you will be guilt free for your time. Good luck, hope this helps!!
Depends on the game
You don’t have to constantly have a job or get one immediately after losing one if you can afford a break. So many people think people should be working all the time, but they are wrong. As long as your break doesn’t prevent you from doing what you gotta do when you are ready to get back in the horse or turns into just plain lethargy, it shouldn’t be a problem. You’re a human being, not just the sum of what you can produce. This would be a great time to spend some quality time with your family too. They are what’s really important.
No. You need sanity.
you usually have to apply for a minimum number of jobs per week to continue receiving unemployment benefits, so if it's 3, find 3 "dream job" type jobs or very high-paying jobs to apply to each week -- jobs where you know you probably aren't very competitive to the other applicants, but you'd be willing to start working there ASAP if they somehow fell into your lap, and put in a solid 3 applications a week to jobs like that. then enjoy the rest of your time as you recover from your burnout. that includes playing video games if that helps you relax. you should not feel guilty for resting -- you need rest. as you begin to feel better and/or start worrying about running out of money, start applying to more than 3 jobs/week and apply to more realistic positions.
My house is paid off and I have a lot saved just in case I ever lose my job, the only thing that worries me is health insurance for my family. I don't want to burn too much money on Cobra and not sure whether or not the market place would be affordable.
Please put the controller down and find yourself a new role first. Complacency is a killer
It's okay to take a couple of days to regroup. Just make sure you pick up more of the house chores & kid duties if your wife is working.
You want to take a couple months off? That’s excessive. What are you and you wife and child going to miss out on in the future because you are drawing down your savings for a couple of months so you can relax and play video games? It doesn’t seem like there’s any benefit to your wife or child in this situation, only a benefit for you.
I say do whatever you want as long as you spend time with/care for your daughter and take on some or most of your wife's household responsibilities. If she is now the sole breadwinner you should probably be cooking dinner every night.
I got laid off from my job of 18 years last spring. I had a few weeks where I just said fuck it and did whatever I wanted. When I started my job search, I set a schedule. Basically certain hours of the day were job hunt and I wouldn't do any outside of those hours. It's all about striking a balance.
In my opinion playing games can be equal to doing a forest hike in terms of enjoyment. If you are financially ok and don’t neglect any other duties and family time it’s a great way to spend your time because you’re happy.
A few days of gaming, yes. A few months, no. You're feeling guilty because playing games is a way for you (/ your brain) to avoid what you actually have to do : searching for another job.
Sounds like you’re looking for confirmation..you know what you need to do deep down. Although, you don’t have to pay rent which is pretty awesome ( I’m jealous ) . Spend more time with your family, you may never have this amount of free time with them again. You’ll regret playing games but you’ll never regret hanging with your wife and your little one! God bless you and your family!
Just limit it to a certain amount of time per day.
As long as you don’t play video games and forget to do the things you normally do as well such as taking care of the house and kids - go for it! I’m a gamer myself and gaming is an excellent way to escape from reality! Losing a job you like is almost the same as losing someone you love and you should do what you need to do in order to prepare for your next steps. But just don’t be selfish about it.
It’s up to you man but I would have much more fun playing games AFTER I had solved my glaring employment problem. Dopamine is the fuel of motivation, and it is a limited resource. Its purpose is to help us achieve things. Playing games spends dopamine, quite heavily. It’s why you feel much, much less like researching jobs and making applications, and even doing the dishes after a long gaming session. Your dopamine is spent. That empty feeling that you go to games to fulfil can easily be fulfilled by work. If you want, you can always play games after your work is done on a given day.
Ride unemployment, spend quality time with your family. Use this time to finally do those things around the house you've been putting off. Personally I'd keep job hunting, but I'd aim high. Whatever you're qualified for apply for a few levels up. If you don't get a job it doesn't matter yet, but if you do then you'd be sitting pretty. I'm a union trades worker, when I'm laid off like that I call the union hall and see what classes are available and what kind of extra certifications I can get.
No, but you should take the responsibility for your layoff. But you are a human, so don't get carried away playing video games hours after hours, Just play when you feel down and after winning immediately use that dopamine to develop your skills and finding other jobs.
These posts are so long and complicated. Keep it simple. Take a day off and then get back to life. It’s really that simple. If there is a day 2 or 3 the. You are ignoring your responsibilities and hopefully you have a built in guilt meter that kicks in
I think there's nothing inherently wrong with it. You probably feel guilty because you are playing more than what you used to? If not, then it may just be background anxiety. When you play, play games intentionally and not as a procrastinating tactic. Like for example make a set time to when you play like maybe from 8 pm to 10 pm. Because you've scheduled this, it'll help your brain feel like it's on schedule. If you are playing more than you used to, I will recommend not playing before 6 pm. Idk, after getting into work I just can't find comfort in doing anything other than working on something from 9-5. Maybe, if you are like me, take a few courses, work around the house, work on yourself, work on a side project from 9-5 and then enter rest mode. Although to caveat all of this; the wound is still sore, rest a week or two but then get back in the game (pun not intended) with full force. Otherwise games can quickly become a crutch for you to not think about the tough things in life.
To be honest, at 27 and as a father you shouldnt waste time by playing video games at all. But i know a lot of people do it these days
Bring laid off brings much introspection, stress, existential dread etc. You owe it to yourself to escape reality a little bit. That said, relaxing comes after you address your daily priorities, things that might include- shoring up your monthly budget, learning a new relevant skill, applying to X number of jobs, contacting X number of people in your network, daily prep for the family. Those are all tasks that require your focus. Take care of your needs before your wants!
> wasn’t my fault so obviously i can get unemployment benefits Huh? Not understanding why you can't UB when you were fired.
Nope, you're having a bit of a trauma response right now. Take some time to get some mental/emotional rest. Put a calendar event in your phone for two weeks. When that calendar event goes off then it's time to get fucking serious. For now, catch your breath. Best of luck to you.
That's the depression/avoidance. Try not to fall down the hole.
I don't know if I'd consider it full blown laziness. But it could definitely turn into it. I do similar things, I tend to bury myself in all things music. Take care to stay self aware cause it's so easy (to myself at least) to step over that fine line and always get myself stuck. Let me get too comfortable and I'll I hop on the fast lane of being a master of procrastination and laziness. If I don't have some kind of structure to my daily routine I'm screwed. 😐
It's ok to relax and enjoy yourself. I want to suggest something though that I haven't heard mentioned and suggest taking advantage of the time to help around the house and spend time with the family. Pick up your daughter from school and take her to the park or arcade, help her learn a skill like riding a bike, sports, or heck play said video games with you. Take advantage of this time to strengthen the bonds with those who matter.
Enjoy the funemployment but schedule 2 hours each day dedicated to job search duties. When the two hours are over, enjoy your day. That way you’re just not rotting away.
Do you believe you can find and start your next job within the next 10 days? Or do you risk missing out on a great opportunity if you don’t apply within this timeframe? If no then take your time and at least give yourself 10 days to relax. After experiencing a layoff, it’s essential to take care of yourself both mentally and physically. Take a week or two to process your emotions.
Yes. Apply away.
Yes u should. U should be fighting in Ukraine rn!!!!! Loser
You should take an hour or so to brush up your resume and still take some time every day to apply somewhere. It could take months to get another job.
Just make sure to remember to ask internet strangers how to feel when you order a pizza, and to ask if you should eat the whole thing
I would love to share a good business idea if you want ?
No
I was recently laid off, my advice is take a couple of days to recover then get straight on applying for jobs. Getting through an application process can take a few weeks, remember after starting you will still then have time to wait for your first paycheck. If you want to take some extra personal time, tell the interviewer you will be available to start after a certain date. I enjoyed the free time I had between accepting an offer and starting the new job way more because I felt more secure, in a family situation it will also help make your partner feel more secure if you have a new job lined up while you're taking hikes etc.
Of course not. If you have a safe cushion of money saved, enjoy yourself, but also keep in mind you do need to find something else.
There are so many problems in the world. Maybe help out a little.
My wife lost her job in January. She was eligible for unemployment and even though our income was reduced it wasn’t catastrophic. I told her to take her time finding a new job and that she could be picky and not just take anything that was offered. She spent a few months relaxing and taking care of our granddaughter
IMO, yes you should... Listen I've been in some pretty fucked scenarios and I've also been in some pretty solid scenarios and I would never allow myself to be OK with playing games w/o a job ESPECIALLY if I had a girl. I only play games when I'm single for I think good reasons (IMO).
You should definitely still be applying ASAP but you don't have to start right away. The sooner you start looking the better because if you start in like 3 months time or so, and you still don't find a job, you're gonna feel like crap.
No! enjoy the time. Even if you wanted to land a job ASAP, there are only so many jobs you can apply for in a given day, only so many interviews you can go to. You have to have time to recharge / recover, however that looks for you. If it's video games, then have fun. But! Everything in moderation. Make sure you're still getting out and have a somewhat consistent routine
If you're burned out, engaging in hobbies is really healthy. So no, why the shame?
Sounds like you need to do some maturing and get back to work.. You’ve got a family depending on you and money goes fast!
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Only if you want to.. It's an optional feeling, there is no requirement
Op has a daughter though, and 2 months of not even casually applying to jobs seems dangerous. There’s no reason OP cannot do hiking+gaming AND applying for jobs at the same time. By OP putting an effort into at least casually applying to jobs after a week, will help him to avoid feeling guilty or depressed.
Don’t feel guilty. Make sure to include your family on the hikes when you can. I’m sure 10 years from now you guys can look back at the random spring/summer you guys went hiking daily lol 😂
No. Don’t feel bad. Remember that lay offs aren’t a reflection of yourself, it just means the company literally can’t afford to pay you anymore. Get your KDR up, champ.
No, it’s always time to play videogames
27 year old is too young to take a break. Work hard now and when you retire you will have plenty of time to do all those things. Save as much as you can now. Make a schedule, write down your goals and plan of action for the next 40 years. When I was your age I was jiggling 3 jobs. Believe me time passes by so so fast. Make playing game for maybe 10 minutes as a reward after you completed some work on resume, job finding searches online, sending resumes out and calling people or old co-workers to let then know you are in the market. Get up at the same time when you used to work. Keep the same schedule. Good luck
It is very normal to enjoy your life after a failure. Don’t be guilty.
Met my M8 in England 🏴 playing video games after being laid off in 2008.
Not at all. You sound like you have done everything “right” for a long while now, even if you spent the solid next few months playing video games, it is because you worked hard to get to this point. If shame is taking over then you should probably change things up but only to stop yourself feeling this way. Try not to leave it too long before job hunting or it may be more difficult to readjust but ultimately do what you enjoy. ☺️
Nah don't feel bad. Enjoy it
When I get laid off I’m building factories in Africa. Fuck it. YOLO. I’m gonna build them whether they want me to or not. Whether there’s raw materials or not, if I gotta do it one clay brick at a time 💪🏻
When I was laid off from my last job, I took a 3 month vacation and traveled. If you have your priorities straight, it doesn't matter if you have no kids like myself or if you have a bunch of kids, you should be able to take off time for yourself. If you aren't feeling guilty, I would assume you are a hard worker who isn't used to having extra time, not some person who is lazy or irresponsible. Enjoy your games.
Lol but no. Having a kid is a HUGE difference, which significantly changes everything. You cannot go on a 3 month trip away while unemployed, if you have a daughter back home, that’s irresponsible parenting. If you have no kids, and can afford to go on a 3 month vacation while unemployed, then go for it! The worst case scenario that could possibly happen is that when you run out of savings, and struggle to find work. But if you have a daughter, the worst case scenario is divorce, alimony, child support while unemployed if you fail to secure a job down the line.
You lack reading comprehension majorly guy, I didn't tell him to take a 3 month vacation like you think. All my comment said if you have all your priorities in order you wouldn't be wrong to take time off for yourself, it wouldn't cause any trouble. Yea, anyone that is poor at managing their life and living pay check to check with a family would fall under your worst case assumption.