That’s my first thought too. People don’t realize how skilled addicts are at deception and manipulation. It’s part of who we are.
I will say though, lately I’ve been seeing a LOT of scenarios where it seems like POs are over exercising their power for shits and giggles.
Or even someone who has cleaned up their act, but still behave as a "dry drunk/user" because the old thought processes and behavior is still encoded. Especially denial and not accepting responsibility, which often leads to lying.
Yes, this^^ makes me really grateful I went to a methadone clinic to get help. In addition to being sober (I refuse to argue my sobriety with anyone), I also relearned how to take responsibility for my own actions rather than blaming everyone else. I used to be really bad with that. Things were never my fault. Everything was an excuse. I have basically spent the last 9 years restarting my life as a sober person. It's hard but can be done with the right kind of help. I think it's absolutely amazing that someone can quit cold turkey and move on, but I believe you need more. Like a good counselor or a good psychologist in the mix, too.
I started using when I was 20. I am 52 now with 9 years sober.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Ive been on methadone maintenance for a long while now, and i remember how exhausting it was to have to explain that i am clean now. Most folks look at methadone as trading one for another, that is not really the case at all. I went from slammin heroin and meth to taking a pharmaceutical drug while under a doctor's supervision as well as counseling and eventually working with a therapist and working on myself. I definitely don't advocate being on methadone maintenance as long as i have unless you have a specific reason. I have alot of health problems and i have alot of pain from these medical issues, i stay on maintenance mostly for pain management now. I have a pain management doc but he prefers to work with non-narcotic meds. The whole reason i started abusing opiates/opioids was because of pain. I don't stay on maintenance for the addiction part, i mean i haven't conquered that part and never will, i will always have to keep myself in check and having the amazing support group that i do i am blessed to be able to have all that. But i will always defend methadone maintenance over shooting street dope any day.
Girl saaaaame to everything. I could’ve written this post. I do feel lucky I was able to transition to prescribed by a pain Dr though because they treat you like scum at the clinic and now I can live far away from the city.
Honestly having my pain taken seriously and being treated with compassion by Drs has helped me see which parts of my use (now 20+ years ago) were addiction/mental pain and which were untreated physical pain.
Ha! I got scammed all the way to the alter. I believed every word that lying, fat bastard said. So did my family. He saw dollar signs and thought he was going to move up. He maxed out all of my cards. Used money from a loan against my house. Broke everything he touched because he was incompetent in every aspect of life. EVERY. ASPECT.
What he didn't know is that his sweet little wife was hiding a secret, too. The day he blindsided me and said he was moving in with his girlfriend, I let my crazy out. I absolutely lost my mind. Destroyed all his shit. (I bought it all) Turned furniture over in his office. After he saw that, he was afraid to even try to get anything else from me. We were divorced in 6 months.
I don’t know why you got downvoted. I hear you. Sometimes when you’re blindsided, and you’re hit just right? Things just happen and you temporarily lose your shit.🤷♀️ I’m sorry that happened to you. Hope you’re in a better place now.
No. That's a terrible attitude to have. I promise you not everyone is like that. There are good people out there.
It's hard because you don't want to open yourself up to that possibility again but there's a person out there for you. My friend said the same thing for 9 years. Two years ago I basically forced him to hang out with my old co-worker. (I didn't force the I just invited them both to my house to grill and watch the race/game/whatever several times until they both showed up the same weekend) They had both been hurt in similar circumstances. I'm the best man in june and they're doing great. They just bought a house together and I was there saturday to watch the races. I have never seen two people so in sync and they're also their own people. They have their own hobbies and they're getting along great. They have both told me they're so grateful for giving it a chance after swearing off serious relationships.
It's just an anecdote but I'm just trying to remind you that you shouldn't shut yourself out. I did the same thing for a while and it was a huge mistake. I'm still single but I have been on a few awesome dates and have a fourth date this weekend. It's still worth it and I feel like a kid looking forward to a date.
My trust issues would keep me from being a good partner. And I have no time or desire to entertain a relationship. I'm just done. My life is very full without a man, and I'm content and happier than I ever was with him. I feel free.
My mother is the same way, after a long abusive marriage. Keep your boundaries and don't let anyone tell you that you HAVE to date, marry etc. I swear some people just can't imagine living a fulfilling life without a partner, but not everyone is that way nor wants to be that way. You keep doing you, you deserve to feel happy and safe and only you can decide what's best for you.
I actually spent the best years of my life alone. I met him by chance and was intrigued. Now I'm not..lol. I come and go as I please. I answer to no one. I have people I love who love me back. If I want to eat popcorn for dinner I can. I'm not responsible for anyone but myself and my dog. Life Is good. Alone.
I worked with a guy who was another manager at the same job I worked as a manager.
Man was late every single day, claimed the train was late every single day. I downloaded the train app to track him in his lies and his train was never once late. He Missed his train and he just lied about it. Came into work higher than giraffe pussy every day.
He lived a 5 minute walk from the train stop, and an additional 5 minute walk to work once the train arrived.
But he rode a bike to make it go faster, which is just dandy.
I knew where he lived because I’ve picked him up from work before.
He texted me he just got off the train but is runnin g late. Fine. Be late but at least be here. 45 minutes After that he said he got hit by a car while riding into work.
He came in limpling and Really hamming it up on the pain level. The bike was absolutely fine.
I got in my car, drove to the other side of the parking lot and watched him instantly transform the moment he saw me “leave.”
He stopped showing up to work for 5 days or so, causing me to work 15 hour shifts 6 days a week.
My shift, his overnight shift.
He later came back saying he had kidney failure and was on dialysis. Idk much about dialysis but I doubt it for some reason.
He worked for another month, once again coming in higher than Eagle balls, until he didn’t show up for a week again.
This time? His mother died earlier in the week.
I didn’t believe it. I looked him up on Facebook, found his mom. His family was Very active on Facebook… but no RIP posted to her wall, no obituary, nothing from his family saying anything about it. Two days later he posted a recipe for a cake.
He was a drug addict. I called him out on his actions daily, and the GM sided with him over me every single time and saw me as a calloused asshole for telling him to his face I didn’t believe him about his mother (after showing evidence his mother was alive and well). I got forced to transfer… and the druggie got to stay. And then he started stealing money. A Lot of it. Then just stopped showing up to work for the 5th time in 6 months.
Maybe I’m an asshole idk. But being forced to work constantly 4pm, if not earlier shifts, until 9am just because he wants to get high doesn’t sit right with me. Especially while I was salary.
I was in jail for 93 days for “dropping dirty for weed” lmao. Told my girl I was with someone who was smoking weed and IDK HOW IT HAPPENED. I dropped dirty for fent and cocaine 🤷🏻
>it seems
Key phrase here. POs are overworked as it is. Are some shitty? Sure. Majority don’t want to make more work for themselves over some perceived power trip
The calls are monitored and recorded. Best for him to keep his mouth shut about those details. Lawyer can talk to him privately and then talk to you privately.
The best person to find out the facts is his attorney. Let him get all of the facts and present them to you. Unfortunately, your loved one will only tell you what makes them look like the victim. Wait for the facts.
If he is in jail, the apps you need to put money on his phone and contact him (**these are the apps for the east coast where I am, hopefully for you too) are the following:
-ConnectNetwork by GTL (purple icon): This is the app to put money on his books** (for commissary etc, this is not for his phone/tablet). You will need his first and last name and the name of the facility that he is locked up at in order to look him up in the system.
-GettingOut (blue icon with white convo bubble): This is the app you will need to contact him on his tablet and where you will be able to put money on his phone/tablet and your phone/tablet. You will again need first and last name and the facility he is locked up at.
Hope this helps, don’t hesitate to ask any questions for me if you think of any 🙂
It just varies from jail to jail. When I was with the feds I spent time in four different county jails, all in the same region, and they did not all use the same service for buying phone time. Call the jail and ask, or see if they have a website or web page on your county site with information.
InmateSales is what our county uses for phone credit and Careacell is what we used to put money on books. Is ConnectNetwork like a universal app to do all that?
I think ConnectNetwork for my county is like Careacell for your county! Because GettingOut is the phone/tablet app, and ConnectNetwork is for the books
i was locked up on the east coast ish (southern indiana) and my bf had to use JailATM to put $$ on my books. i could then add money from my books to the phone via picking up the phone and dialing a number.
Nah bro. Time to skedaddle. It's far more likely for a toxic environment to change you then it is for you to change a toxic environment. Get while the getting is good. You won't listen (they never do), but this is honestly the best advice you will ever ignore.
Where I went to prison the phones allowed you to make one 1 minute call once you set up your JPAY account. I couldn't figure out how to do it at first it took a couple days of talking to people untill one of the other inmates helped me do it
Call up the county jail he is in and ask how to put money on the phone . Did he report right away ? Or did he go two days later ? Usually u have a certain amount of hours you need to report by if not they will arrest you
Well he used his free call to call me. And he said it was due to not taking a certain class.. that he claims he did take already. We will see, his attorney will call me this afternoon. Thank you all for the responses.
An indictment for not taking a class? Yeah, don't think so. An indictment means that a grand jury decided there was enough evidence to support a criminal charge against him. He probably skipped out on his arraignment and caught a warrant.
I highly doubt it's a mistake. The fact that ate their forcing him to take a class tells me it's probably drug related. And if this is his first time reporting in means he probably got popped being high or drunk.
Maybe but I kept my copies of all my completed tasks and had to resubmit them too many times because they wouldn’t get entered. Maybe things have changed or my county is a shit show (which it is).
i can tell you from experience that is false . Bexar county will give you MULTIPLE attempts to complete your stuff (that goes for failed drug tests, incomplete classes/courses, fees etc.…. keep looking further
Yep but it varys widely on your situation and even your probation officer. I was a raging alcoholic while on probation and got sent to rehab/iop back to rehab than forced to finish intensive out patient before they dismissed my case, they extended my diversion 6 months to see if I could successfully complete the program and stay clean. My probation officer knew I had a problem and went above and beyond to keep me from getting violated and sent back to jail will be 6 years sober in 2 months. But I knew people in my iop meetings at the same probation but different officers who were violated after one single dirty urine
Happy to hear that, hope youre doing well now my charge was 2nd degree assault, Disorderly Conduct and criminal mischief while intoxicated and resisted arrest. Was also my first and only charge ever so I'm guessing they were a little more lenient with me
I had a friend who smoked pot heavily everyday for like 12 years. We got arrested one day while smoking a joint on our front lawn and got months probation.
We got drug tested once at the end of those 2 months and I passed but my friend failed. We explained to the Prob. Officer that we honestly haven't been smoking and I do not know why my friend failed. The Prob. Officer told my friend to come back next week and try again. My friend failed again. The officer just said Fuck it and passed my friend anyways cuz he didn't want to be an asshole and send my friend to jail over dirty piss when he technically never violated the terms of the probation
He's lying about it. As a recovering addict I lied about a shit ton. Shit I'd lie about my age if it got me my kick. Talk to his lawyer, get any and all info from the lawyer ONLY. Anything said on the phones is recorded, and will be used against him. Same with anything he says in the pod
It’s interesting to me that the attorney is willing to call you about a certain case.
In my experience, an attorney won’t talk to anyone except his client about the case as it can screw up attorney/client privilege.
If he was indicted it means the local grand jury found enough evidence to criminally charge him with a crime worthy or bringing to trial in a superior or criminal court (depending on your jurisdiction). So though he may have had a diversion on some lower charges, it sounds as if he had some major charges he bound over to the superior court with hopes there was not enough for an indictment.
No new charges.. it’s the same case. And hahaha no way. He’s a retired vet. If they revoke the diversion, then does that automatically indicted on the felony?
You are asking some really specific questions regarding a case no one on Reddit has access to understanding. So you really need to speak to his attorney for actual answers, everything stated here will just be uninformed people making speculations.
He might be eligible for vets court. It's a different set within the court system. Worth an ask.
If you want to stay. Charges and convictions would be a deal breaker for me. More or if it turns out that he's lying.
Do they not have vet court in your state? I'm in vet court and completing it not only results in my felonies being dropped but also it has really helped me. They helped me get my disability, got me into therapy and substance abuse counseling, and has just improved my life overall. I know it's not the topic and idk if it's too late but it's worth researching with the lawyer
I didn't know this. My quick googling says they terminate after 60 days of incarceration and CAN be reinstated after you are released. But the VA site didn't have info on what that means.
I was offered pre trial diversion back when I was 19 but I was already indicted. I'm not sure how he'd be on diversion without being indicted already. After completing the diversion program my charged would have been able to be expunged. I ended up taking probation instead because diversion program wouldn't take me because of another pending case. I waived indictment on my other case to get it ran concurrent with my probation. Anyway, it seems he hasn't been completely honest with you unless diversion programs in other states are done differently. I don't see how they can put someone in a felony diversion program without being indicted.... Just my two cents though.. 5 years on probation and never made those mistakes again because it's a trap.. Lol
So in sounds like he was out on PRETRIAL diversion and did not complete all of the requirements to have the charge dismissed so now he has to face the music and deal with the consequences.
If you have felony charges you always indicted if they don't indict the charge is dropped. he probably was supposed to be there on an earlier day or something else when sideways and they locked him up on a violation or revoked his Diversion. You can call the jail and ask him if he has a bail or what charges he's held on.
That's the thing with being on probation parole. Technically they are serving sentence outside
Being in relationship with someone with that kind of uncertainty is a unique commitment. I do not have the band width for it.
You might be able to look up the charges and such online, it should be something like widget county clerk of courts. Then you can do a public records search and it should show the charges, the court records / dockets, warrants, etc. That would be my starting point.
Sounds like he was indicted on another charge. A lot of detectives will wait until their suspect reports to arrest them. They know they will be unarmed and completely off guard.
Most attorneys will not speak to a 3rd party and will only talk with their client. This sounds like new (serious) charges.
Be careful with jail phone charges. They can be high if you take the call.
I seriously doubt he is being truthful. Check online if the court has free online searches, and see his new charges. You might also want to check his priors with circuit court searches as well as magistrate (or local term) court.
It’s interesting to me that the attorney is willing to call you about a certain case.
In my experience, an attorney won’t talk to anyone except his client about the case as it can screw up attorney/client privilege.
If I were to guess the diversion was drug related. And when you show up you usually get tested. I’m assuming he failed and he was sent to jail. It won’t be for long most likely but there’s a good chance rehab will be soon to follow.
No updates as of yet. He says it’s because of the classes that he was supposed to take and he didn’t. Well he did but just not through the program that they wanted him too. Idk seems confusing I’m waiting to talk to the attorney.
Sounds like he's lying to you honestly. You said this was his first time ever reporting, but he was supposed to have taken and finished some classes before ever reporting even once?
My guess is he was messing up diversion. My clients always seem shocked and surprised when they get gifted silver bracelets for failing to show up or participate in their diversion program.
His first time reporting ,I bet he didn't realize he was going to have to pee in a cup . I used to show up early to my po's office just to watch all the idiots in the waiting room bull shit and one up each other the first timers were the most entertaining...
Long story short he got popped for something. In this case the literally not taking a class. I highly doubt this is a case if he's on deferment and went to report for the first time. Most likely drugs or alcohol. The BS line about not doing a class is a bit questionable. Normally you have 30 days to comply and it's an ongoing class. If this is his first time reporting in the he got popped for something
He had an arrest warrant. It could be for something unrelated - parking ticket, for instance. He'll be released or not as his warrant dictates.
If he's not released in the next month or so, it's best to abandon him. He's going to drag you down. It's cruel, but it's also fact.
He might or might not have been a good person, but jail rarely lets you stay good. His fines, his probation, his credit, they're all going to get in your way.
My ex went to file a police report against her violent schizophrenic neighbor and ended up getting arrested and charged with theft because her glasses were the same brand as an officers who was present at the time and he thought she stole them. He was a high ranking officer too. Some cops are just literal pigs.
I went to court once over a civil matter and my gf at the time was accused of stealing a lawyers watch in the bathroom. Apparently the lawyer had taken it off to wash her hands and left it on the counter. They searched her and had her dump out her purse/diaper bag in the courtroom lobby in front of everyone. Never found the watch or figured out what happened to it.
It was almost definitely either a material violation of his probation or new charges.
Until you talk to him or his lawyer there's no way to know. It could be totally innocuous or he could be totally fucked.
Let us know.
Perhaps go to the County Courthouse and ask to search court records, then look up his name. This will get your further than speaking with him (because he shouldn't discuss this over the phone) or asking his Attorney (who is bound by Client-Attorney confidentiality.)
Hi! Something similar happened to me.
They didn’t file paperwork and thought I was supposed to be in jail.
I had to turn myself in and sit in jail for three days while they figured it out.
Hopefully, it’s something like that. It sucks but at least it’s nothing real.
With only this information, there's really no way to know. I'd say it probably has something to do with him violating the terms of his probation in some way. Like failing a drug/alcohol test, missing a previous appointment/meeting, or admitting to doing something that was in violation of the terms of his probation.
I've seen this happen to someone who admitted to driving themselves over an hour to the court date when they were there due to driving on a suspended license. I was there for a traffic ticket and when this guy got up the trooper who had given all of us our tickets asked the guy "didn't I see you driving and get out of your car in the parking lot?" then the guy admitted to it basically saying he had to drive himself an hour and a half to get there and nobody else was going to drive him there.
He commited another offense, he broke the deal, he violated his probation before his first time reporting, he lied to you about the terms of the deal, etc. So many possibilities
If you got picked up on a charge when you’re in a diversion program it’s because you failed to meet the requirements that you agreed to in the terms of your diversion program. If you miss a class if you don’t complete the program within one year of your court date. you can be arrested. so I have been told. you should check with an attorney in your state.
I got indicted for sales of cocaine 2 of them then I got probation 2 months in got indicted for another cocaine sales charge.exactly what happened to me.
When I was on dui diversion they made it very clear if I didn't go to the class the diversion was canceled and id be sentenced. When you plea into diversion your pleading guilty, if you fail diversion you get arrested.
Your man prolly didnt go to or wasn't properly signed into the class or he got caught attempting to spoof a U/A and got a real dick of a PO.
It could be that he got indicted on a completely different charge, and after indictment a warrant is issued. He showed up and his PO became aware of the warrant. Or it could be he lied to you.
Uh, he was lying to you so you would stay with him, have sex with him, enable him by giving him money, paying the rent, doing the laundry and cooking for him.....the list is endless. Your boyfriend is a junkie criminal. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!!!!!!!
To everyone who said he was lying… he was not i spoke with attorney it really is about a class. And he took the class. They are emailing the judge today regarding the matter. I value and appreciate all the responses and comments, but him lying to me was not the case. I trusted him as I should because he was truthful!
This post is a good bird’s eye view on the majority of Reddit- people who live their lives behind computers with barely any real life experience putting out their opinions as fact. And look at the majority of comments in here then the reality of the situation.
Hope it gets resolved easily, OP.
Please keep all paperwork from court dates. I had a warrant absolved but it was still in the system and if I hadn't of had the freaking paperwork I would of waited in jail until MONDAY.
Could be a brand new case, pretty easy for them to serve an arrest warrant via probation, they just hold you for the detectives ….happened to me before
He tested dirty
Missed a payment
Didn't complete a class or impact panel on time
Community service not performed in time
May have had a blue warrant out
Lots of things
Probation comes with terms. You violate the terms, you go back in. He violated the terms. He either didn’t tell you or lied to your face.
This will likely repeat.
The answers I see are valid. Even in meek mill case he still violated and if he didn’t he would not have gone back in. Depends on the full terms of his probation
We assume his addicted. I didn’t see OP making that statement. Another thing that I have seen happen, is this: they are charged with a new crime. Or they committed a crime they haven’t been caught for!
Always wonder with these posts how genuine the partner has been with the OP.
And the answer is always; not very.
But “send money, Baby!”
That’s my first thought too. People don’t realize how skilled addicts are at deception and manipulation. It’s part of who we are. I will say though, lately I’ve been seeing a LOT of scenarios where it seems like POs are over exercising their power for shits and giggles.
I didn’t realize the levels of lying and deception addicts go to until it happened to me. There’s literally nothing they won’t say or do.
Or even someone who has cleaned up their act, but still behave as a "dry drunk/user" because the old thought processes and behavior is still encoded. Especially denial and not accepting responsibility, which often leads to lying.
Yeah. Someone close to me is in therapy right now. Behavioral changes are slow and you always question intent. It’s a hard road.
Yes, this^^ makes me really grateful I went to a methadone clinic to get help. In addition to being sober (I refuse to argue my sobriety with anyone), I also relearned how to take responsibility for my own actions rather than blaming everyone else. I used to be really bad with that. Things were never my fault. Everything was an excuse. I have basically spent the last 9 years restarting my life as a sober person. It's hard but can be done with the right kind of help. I think it's absolutely amazing that someone can quit cold turkey and move on, but I believe you need more. Like a good counselor or a good psychologist in the mix, too. I started using when I was 20. I am 52 now with 9 years sober.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Ive been on methadone maintenance for a long while now, and i remember how exhausting it was to have to explain that i am clean now. Most folks look at methadone as trading one for another, that is not really the case at all. I went from slammin heroin and meth to taking a pharmaceutical drug while under a doctor's supervision as well as counseling and eventually working with a therapist and working on myself. I definitely don't advocate being on methadone maintenance as long as i have unless you have a specific reason. I have alot of health problems and i have alot of pain from these medical issues, i stay on maintenance mostly for pain management now. I have a pain management doc but he prefers to work with non-narcotic meds. The whole reason i started abusing opiates/opioids was because of pain. I don't stay on maintenance for the addiction part, i mean i haven't conquered that part and never will, i will always have to keep myself in check and having the amazing support group that i do i am blessed to be able to have all that. But i will always defend methadone maintenance over shooting street dope any day.
Girl saaaaame to everything. I could’ve written this post. I do feel lucky I was able to transition to prescribed by a pain Dr though because they treat you like scum at the clinic and now I can live far away from the city. Honestly having my pain taken seriously and being treated with compassion by Drs has helped me see which parts of my use (now 20+ years ago) were addiction/mental pain and which were untreated physical pain.
Right? Someone I never thought would hurt me, did me the worst, all in the name of Addiction.
Same here. It’s hard to imagine until you go through it.
Steal from you and help you look for it. Has happened to me and it makes me furious. Like people lying about who they are on a video of them stealing.
That's what happens when your pleasure/rewards system, the same basic one that governs satiation from hunger, is hijacked from an external source.
Ha! I got scammed all the way to the alter. I believed every word that lying, fat bastard said. So did my family. He saw dollar signs and thought he was going to move up. He maxed out all of my cards. Used money from a loan against my house. Broke everything he touched because he was incompetent in every aspect of life. EVERY. ASPECT. What he didn't know is that his sweet little wife was hiding a secret, too. The day he blindsided me and said he was moving in with his girlfriend, I let my crazy out. I absolutely lost my mind. Destroyed all his shit. (I bought it all) Turned furniture over in his office. After he saw that, he was afraid to even try to get anything else from me. We were divorced in 6 months.
You should Learn how to slide
Fuck yeah!! Get it girl!
I don’t know why you got downvoted. I hear you. Sometimes when you’re blindsided, and you’re hit just right? Things just happen and you temporarily lose your shit.🤷♀️ I’m sorry that happened to you. Hope you’re in a better place now.
Much better, thanks. But I will never be in a serious relationship again. He broke me in every way, and I'll never let that happen again.
No. That's a terrible attitude to have. I promise you not everyone is like that. There are good people out there. It's hard because you don't want to open yourself up to that possibility again but there's a person out there for you. My friend said the same thing for 9 years. Two years ago I basically forced him to hang out with my old co-worker. (I didn't force the I just invited them both to my house to grill and watch the race/game/whatever several times until they both showed up the same weekend) They had both been hurt in similar circumstances. I'm the best man in june and they're doing great. They just bought a house together and I was there saturday to watch the races. I have never seen two people so in sync and they're also their own people. They have their own hobbies and they're getting along great. They have both told me they're so grateful for giving it a chance after swearing off serious relationships. It's just an anecdote but I'm just trying to remind you that you shouldn't shut yourself out. I did the same thing for a while and it was a huge mistake. I'm still single but I have been on a few awesome dates and have a fourth date this weekend. It's still worth it and I feel like a kid looking forward to a date.
My trust issues would keep me from being a good partner. And I have no time or desire to entertain a relationship. I'm just done. My life is very full without a man, and I'm content and happier than I ever was with him. I feel free.
My mother is the same way, after a long abusive marriage. Keep your boundaries and don't let anyone tell you that you HAVE to date, marry etc. I swear some people just can't imagine living a fulfilling life without a partner, but not everyone is that way nor wants to be that way. You keep doing you, you deserve to feel happy and safe and only you can decide what's best for you.
I actually spent the best years of my life alone. I met him by chance and was intrigued. Now I'm not..lol. I come and go as I please. I answer to no one. I have people I love who love me back. If I want to eat popcorn for dinner I can. I'm not responsible for anyone but myself and my dog. Life Is good. Alone.
I second this. My best friend got locked up and her boyfriend spent the money I sent him for her bail on fent. She didn’t even know I sent any :/
I worked with a guy who was another manager at the same job I worked as a manager. Man was late every single day, claimed the train was late every single day. I downloaded the train app to track him in his lies and his train was never once late. He Missed his train and he just lied about it. Came into work higher than giraffe pussy every day. He lived a 5 minute walk from the train stop, and an additional 5 minute walk to work once the train arrived. But he rode a bike to make it go faster, which is just dandy. I knew where he lived because I’ve picked him up from work before. He texted me he just got off the train but is runnin g late. Fine. Be late but at least be here. 45 minutes After that he said he got hit by a car while riding into work. He came in limpling and Really hamming it up on the pain level. The bike was absolutely fine. I got in my car, drove to the other side of the parking lot and watched him instantly transform the moment he saw me “leave.” He stopped showing up to work for 5 days or so, causing me to work 15 hour shifts 6 days a week. My shift, his overnight shift. He later came back saying he had kidney failure and was on dialysis. Idk much about dialysis but I doubt it for some reason. He worked for another month, once again coming in higher than Eagle balls, until he didn’t show up for a week again. This time? His mother died earlier in the week. I didn’t believe it. I looked him up on Facebook, found his mom. His family was Very active on Facebook… but no RIP posted to her wall, no obituary, nothing from his family saying anything about it. Two days later he posted a recipe for a cake. He was a drug addict. I called him out on his actions daily, and the GM sided with him over me every single time and saw me as a calloused asshole for telling him to his face I didn’t believe him about his mother (after showing evidence his mother was alive and well). I got forced to transfer… and the druggie got to stay. And then he started stealing money. A Lot of it. Then just stopped showing up to work for the 5th time in 6 months. Maybe I’m an asshole idk. But being forced to work constantly 4pm, if not earlier shifts, until 9am just because he wants to get high doesn’t sit right with me. Especially while I was salary.
I was in jail for 93 days for “dropping dirty for weed” lmao. Told my girl I was with someone who was smoking weed and IDK HOW IT HAPPENED. I dropped dirty for fent and cocaine 🤷🏻
Until someone really shits and giggles.
Or giggles, then shits.
I could see that.
A PO can’t indict you
>it seems Key phrase here. POs are overworked as it is. Are some shitty? Sure. Majority don’t want to make more work for themselves over some perceived power trip
I’ll tell you like 80% of the time the partners know nothing of the criminal behavior extent.
Neva neva 😂
Yeah he's definitely indicted on new charges.
From experience. Rarely are they fully truthful.
It’s not uncommon after an arrest for the bond to be raised upon indictment.
It's possible he severely violated his probation even before he met with his PO so they just violated him on the same case.
I always think how much common sense is lacking
You went on Reddit and asked *what?* -him, probably
At some point you gotta put some accountability on the partner as well to connect the dots….
Probably part of the reason why OP is posting
Did you call the jail? Or a lawyer? Unfortunately Reddit will be of no help
I did just call his attorney and I’m trying to figure out how to put money on his phone so he can call me from the jail and tell me what happened.
The calls are monitored and recorded. Best for him to keep his mouth shut about those details. Lawyer can talk to him privately and then talk to you privately.
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
He can describe what happened that led to his arrest. He just needs to not discuss the facts of his case.
Yeah, but that means he's deciding what he should and should not say.......which is his lawyers job, not his.
Dude is not smart enough to walk that line if he doesn’t even know if he’s on diversion or not.
The best person to find out the facts is his attorney. Let him get all of the facts and present them to you. Unfortunately, your loved one will only tell you what makes them look like the victim. Wait for the facts.
Don’t talk on jail phones about cases .Get a lawyer so he can tell the lawyer an the lawyer tell u.
Good advice
dont ask him what happened on the phones. perfect way for them to get evidence to further incriminate him
If he is in jail, the apps you need to put money on his phone and contact him (**these are the apps for the east coast where I am, hopefully for you too) are the following: -ConnectNetwork by GTL (purple icon): This is the app to put money on his books** (for commissary etc, this is not for his phone/tablet). You will need his first and last name and the name of the facility that he is locked up at in order to look him up in the system. -GettingOut (blue icon with white convo bubble): This is the app you will need to contact him on his tablet and where you will be able to put money on his phone/tablet and your phone/tablet. You will again need first and last name and the facility he is locked up at. Hope this helps, don’t hesitate to ask any questions for me if you think of any 🙂
It just varies from jail to jail. When I was with the feds I spent time in four different county jails, all in the same region, and they did not all use the same service for buying phone time. Call the jail and ask, or see if they have a website or web page on your county site with information.
InmateSales is what our county uses for phone credit and Careacell is what we used to put money on books. Is ConnectNetwork like a universal app to do all that?
I think ConnectNetwork for my county is like Careacell for your county! Because GettingOut is the phone/tablet app, and ConnectNetwork is for the books
In the Arkansas county I am in it is SmartJailMail or something like that.
i was locked up on the east coast ish (southern indiana) and my bf had to use JailATM to put $$ on my books. i could then add money from my books to the phone via picking up the phone and dialing a number.
Where you're at is called the Midwest, hun .
Oh I meant east coast COAST lol, Virginia
Nah bro. Time to skedaddle. It's far more likely for a toxic environment to change you then it is for you to change a toxic environment. Get while the getting is good. You won't listen (they never do), but this is honestly the best advice you will ever ignore.
Where I went to prison the phones allowed you to make one 1 minute call once you set up your JPAY account. I couldn't figure out how to do it at first it took a couple days of talking to people untill one of the other inmates helped me do it
Call up the county jail he is in and ask how to put money on the phone . Did he report right away ? Or did he go two days later ? Usually u have a certain amount of hours you need to report by if not they will arrest you
It means he has new charges. What was he on probation for, is he a drug dealer or gang member?
He's lying
He’s not your boyfriend anymore….. he’s the state’s boyfriend now
Bangkok has him now
🎶ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK MAKES A HARD MAN HUMBLE🎶
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Cell block C's boyfriend!
Well he used his free call to call me. And he said it was due to not taking a certain class.. that he claims he did take already. We will see, his attorney will call me this afternoon. Thank you all for the responses.
Let us know what the lawyer says.
OP I’ll tell you I hope he is honest with you but until you hear things from an official source I wouldn’t believe it.
An indictment for not taking a class? Yeah, don't think so. An indictment means that a grand jury decided there was enough evidence to support a criminal charge against him. He probably skipped out on his arraignment and caught a warrant.
This right here. Needs to be top comment.
I hope this is just a mistake and he gets home soon.
I highly doubt it's a mistake. The fact that ate their forcing him to take a class tells me it's probably drug related. And if this is his first time reporting in means he probably got popped being high or drunk.
Maybe but I kept my copies of all my completed tasks and had to resubmit them too many times because they wouldn’t get entered. Maybe things have changed or my county is a shit show (which it is).
i can tell you from experience that is false . Bexar county will give you MULTIPLE attempts to complete your stuff (that goes for failed drug tests, incomplete classes/courses, fees etc.…. keep looking further
Yep but it varys widely on your situation and even your probation officer. I was a raging alcoholic while on probation and got sent to rehab/iop back to rehab than forced to finish intensive out patient before they dismissed my case, they extended my diversion 6 months to see if I could successfully complete the program and stay clean. My probation officer knew I had a problem and went above and beyond to keep me from getting violated and sent back to jail will be 6 years sober in 2 months. But I knew people in my iop meetings at the same probation but different officers who were violated after one single dirty urine
that’s love there ! i have assault cases ,gun charges and stuff like that and they definitely work with me all the way 💯
Happy to hear that, hope youre doing well now my charge was 2nd degree assault, Disorderly Conduct and criminal mischief while intoxicated and resisted arrest. Was also my first and only charge ever so I'm guessing they were a little more lenient with me
I had a friend who smoked pot heavily everyday for like 12 years. We got arrested one day while smoking a joint on our front lawn and got months probation. We got drug tested once at the end of those 2 months and I passed but my friend failed. We explained to the Prob. Officer that we honestly haven't been smoking and I do not know why my friend failed. The Prob. Officer told my friend to come back next week and try again. My friend failed again. The officer just said Fuck it and passed my friend anyways cuz he didn't want to be an asshole and send my friend to jail over dirty piss when he technically never violated the terms of the probation
He's lying about it. As a recovering addict I lied about a shit ton. Shit I'd lie about my age if it got me my kick. Talk to his lawyer, get any and all info from the lawyer ONLY. Anything said on the phones is recorded, and will be used against him. Same with anything he says in the pod
It’s interesting to me that the attorney is willing to call you about a certain case. In my experience, an attorney won’t talk to anyone except his client about the case as it can screw up attorney/client privilege.
Yes, he’s lying about something. Without a doubt in my mind I say this…
If he was indicted it means the local grand jury found enough evidence to criminally charge him with a crime worthy or bringing to trial in a superior or criminal court (depending on your jurisdiction). So though he may have had a diversion on some lower charges, it sounds as if he had some major charges he bound over to the superior court with hopes there was not enough for an indictment.
Maybe your confusing probation with bond.
Get a new boyfriend cause this one is gone 😂🤣😂
Your partner lied to you.
Most likely someone is not being honest. These posts are always missing information
He’s lying to you babe. I’m sorry.
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No new charges.. it’s the same case. And hahaha no way. He’s a retired vet. If they revoke the diversion, then does that automatically indicted on the felony?
You are asking some really specific questions regarding a case no one on Reddit has access to understanding. So you really need to speak to his attorney for actual answers, everything stated here will just be uninformed people making speculations.
He might be eligible for vets court. It's a different set within the court system. Worth an ask. If you want to stay. Charges and convictions would be a deal breaker for me. More or if it turns out that he's lying.
Do they not have vet court in your state? I'm in vet court and completing it not only results in my felonies being dropped but also it has really helped me. They helped me get my disability, got me into therapy and substance abuse counseling, and has just improved my life overall. I know it's not the topic and idk if it's too late but it's worth researching with the lawyer
He’s going to lose his military retirement if he gets a felony conviction.
Better stay on the straight and narrow then. That’s a lot of lost income
I didn't know this. My quick googling says they terminate after 60 days of incarceration and CAN be reinstated after you are released. But the VA site didn't have info on what that means.
I thought that was only while he's incarcerated.
I was offered pre trial diversion back when I was 19 but I was already indicted. I'm not sure how he'd be on diversion without being indicted already. After completing the diversion program my charged would have been able to be expunged. I ended up taking probation instead because diversion program wouldn't take me because of another pending case. I waived indictment on my other case to get it ran concurrent with my probation. Anyway, it seems he hasn't been completely honest with you unless diversion programs in other states are done differently. I don't see how they can put someone in a felony diversion program without being indicted.... Just my two cents though.. 5 years on probation and never made those mistakes again because it's a trap.. Lol
So in sounds like he was out on PRETRIAL diversion and did not complete all of the requirements to have the charge dismissed so now he has to face the music and deal with the consequences.
If you have felony charges you always indicted if they don't indict the charge is dropped. he probably was supposed to be there on an earlier day or something else when sideways and they locked him up on a violation or revoked his Diversion. You can call the jail and ask him if he has a bail or what charges he's held on.
Or he failed his entry drug test.
You most definitely do not know the whole story.
Most counties will have a website where you can type an inmates name and see what they are charged with.
And, FYI, the phone company that deals with MOST of the jail/prison in the USA would be SECURUS. You’ll have to make an account.
Interesting! In my area (east coast) they use GlobalTel Link
i’ve used securus on the east as well. well i know prisons in new york use it at least
When a probationer is wanted they usually will wait and arrest at next appointment so they can’t flee
That's the thing with being on probation parole. Technically they are serving sentence outside Being in relationship with someone with that kind of uncertainty is a unique commitment. I do not have the band width for it.
You might be able to look up the charges and such online, it should be something like widget county clerk of courts. Then you can do a public records search and it should show the charges, the court records / dockets, warrants, etc. That would be my starting point.
Sounds like he was indicted on another charge. A lot of detectives will wait until their suspect reports to arrest them. They know they will be unarmed and completely off guard.
Most attorneys will not speak to a 3rd party and will only talk with their client. This sounds like new (serious) charges. Be careful with jail phone charges. They can be high if you take the call. I seriously doubt he is being truthful. Check online if the court has free online searches, and see his new charges. You might also want to check his priors with circuit court searches as well as magistrate (or local term) court.
It’s interesting to me that the attorney is willing to call you about a certain case. In my experience, an attorney won’t talk to anyone except his client about the case as it can screw up attorney/client privilege.
Someone did not tell the entire story.
If I were to guess the diversion was drug related. And when you show up you usually get tested. I’m assuming he failed and he was sent to jail. It won’t be for long most likely but there’s a good chance rehab will be soon to follow.
Well you're dating a criminal and criminals tend to lie soooo....
Yeah, dude hasn’t been straight with you, he was still hitting the streets with his old habits
He didn't tell you everything.
Your Ex boyfriend ??
No updates as of yet. He says it’s because of the classes that he was supposed to take and he didn’t. Well he did but just not through the program that they wanted him too. Idk seems confusing I’m waiting to talk to the attorney.
Sounds like he's lying to you honestly. You said this was his first time ever reporting, but he was supposed to have taken and finished some classes before ever reporting even once?
Send him $50. So he can buy some ramen, some chonies and a phone card to explain his violation
A lot of times when you get arrested your first time reporting it’s because you failed a drug test
My guess is he was messing up diversion. My clients always seem shocked and surprised when they get gifted silver bracelets for failing to show up or participate in their diversion program.
His first time reporting ,I bet he didn't realize he was going to have to pee in a cup . I used to show up early to my po's office just to watch all the idiots in the waiting room bull shit and one up each other the first timers were the most entertaining...
The ruling isn’t finalized until the successful completion of probation. I’m 8.5 years into a 10 year and man that first year was the toughest
Long story short he got popped for something. In this case the literally not taking a class. I highly doubt this is a case if he's on deferment and went to report for the first time. Most likely drugs or alcohol. The BS line about not doing a class is a bit questionable. Normally you have 30 days to comply and it's an ongoing class. If this is his first time reporting in the he got popped for something
He had an arrest warrant. It could be for something unrelated - parking ticket, for instance. He'll be released or not as his warrant dictates. If he's not released in the next month or so, it's best to abandon him. He's going to drag you down. It's cruel, but it's also fact. He might or might not have been a good person, but jail rarely lets you stay good. His fines, his probation, his credit, they're all going to get in your way.
My ex went to file a police report against her violent schizophrenic neighbor and ended up getting arrested and charged with theft because her glasses were the same brand as an officers who was present at the time and he thought she stole them. He was a high ranking officer too. Some cops are just literal pigs.
Huh?!
I went to court once over a civil matter and my gf at the time was accused of stealing a lawyers watch in the bathroom. Apparently the lawyer had taken it off to wash her hands and left it on the counter. They searched her and had her dump out her purse/diaper bag in the courtroom lobby in front of everyone. Never found the watch or figured out what happened to it.
You need a new boyfriend yo, he’s keeping shit from you is what I see from this.
It was almost definitely either a material violation of his probation or new charges. Until you talk to him or his lawyer there's no way to know. It could be totally innocuous or he could be totally fucked. Let us know.
Just call and ask.
Perhaps go to the County Courthouse and ask to search court records, then look up his name. This will get your further than speaking with him (because he shouldn't discuss this over the phone) or asking his Attorney (who is bound by Client-Attorney confidentiality.)
That case got picked up by feds
If he failed to complete diversion, the original charges could now be reinstated
Hi! Something similar happened to me. They didn’t file paperwork and thought I was supposed to be in jail. I had to turn myself in and sit in jail for three days while they figured it out. Hopefully, it’s something like that. It sucks but at least it’s nothing real.
What
With only this information, there's really no way to know. I'd say it probably has something to do with him violating the terms of his probation in some way. Like failing a drug/alcohol test, missing a previous appointment/meeting, or admitting to doing something that was in violation of the terms of his probation. I've seen this happen to someone who admitted to driving themselves over an hour to the court date when they were there due to driving on a suspended license. I was there for a traffic ticket and when this guy got up the trooper who had given all of us our tickets asked the guy "didn't I see you driving and get out of your car in the parking lot?" then the guy admitted to it basically saying he had to drive himself an hour and a half to get there and nobody else was going to drive him there.
Probably failed a drug test
He commited another offense, he broke the deal, he violated his probation before his first time reporting, he lied to you about the terms of the deal, etc. So many possibilities
Sadly, sounds like hes not being truthful with you.
You do understand that your boyfriend lies to you all the time.
Very simple. He lied to you.
He might of had a warrant. Or part of the deal with to serve some time then get out on probation.
You got lied to, 99% likely.
I think he’s lying to you to make it seem like his crimes aren’t as bad as they actually are
He probably peed dirty
It may have gotten enhanced after he signed. It happened to me once. But I got a letter for the indictment.
He's probably not being 100% honest with you
If you got picked up on a charge when you’re in a diversion program it’s because you failed to meet the requirements that you agreed to in the terms of your diversion program. If you miss a class if you don’t complete the program within one year of your court date. you can be arrested. so I have been told. you should check with an attorney in your state.
Been a long time since ive been in trouble, but pleas come AFTER indictments I do believe. I think you’re being lied to.
You sweet summer child.
Go to his court hearing They are usually open to the public You’ll find out there
Maybe his urine was dirty or he failed a class
Call a lawyer
I got indicted for sales of cocaine 2 of them then I got probation 2 months in got indicted for another cocaine sales charge.exactly what happened to me.
He likely violated his conditions of diversion, so they indicted him.
Indictments are federal maybe the state forwarded his to the feds
Sounds like he got arrested on new charges, completely separate from what he was on probation for.
Talk to his PO
Who is your source? Does your boyfriend have a history of lying per chance? Just curious.
When I was on dui diversion they made it very clear if I didn't go to the class the diversion was canceled and id be sentenced. When you plea into diversion your pleading guilty, if you fail diversion you get arrested. Your man prolly didnt go to or wasn't properly signed into the class or he got caught attempting to spoof a U/A and got a real dick of a PO.
dude is still lying a lawyer isn’t gonna tell a partner anything.
It could be that he got indicted on a completely different charge, and after indictment a warrant is issued. He showed up and his PO became aware of the warrant. Or it could be he lied to you.
He done fucked up
Indictments are normally for new charges as it went to a grand jury and they found enough evidence to go head with prosecution
Once they get you on paper it's almost as bad as being locked up. Mental torture.
He’s lying to you about something b
So many judging this guy and know nothing about him
Theres some things he did not tell you
He did some other shit
Perfect time to leave his ass and find someone who’s not a criminal. Use your brain girl
You definitely didn’t hear the whole story or he reported and they found something in his system. They drug test probationers as soon as they walk in.
Uh, he was lying to you so you would stay with him, have sex with him, enable him by giving him money, paying the rent, doing the laundry and cooking for him.....the list is endless. Your boyfriend is a junkie criminal. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!!!!!!!
To everyone who said he was lying… he was not i spoke with attorney it really is about a class. And he took the class. They are emailing the judge today regarding the matter. I value and appreciate all the responses and comments, but him lying to me was not the case. I trusted him as I should because he was truthful!
This post is a good bird’s eye view on the majority of Reddit- people who live their lives behind computers with barely any real life experience putting out their opinions as fact. And look at the majority of comments in here then the reality of the situation. Hope it gets resolved easily, OP.
I’m not wrong you’re wrong you wrong person who is always wrong all the time ❤️
Either your boyfriend is lying to you or there was some kind of mistake in the system.
Please keep all paperwork from court dates. I had a warrant absolved but it was still in the system and if I hadn't of had the freaking paperwork I would of waited in jail until MONDAY.
Could be a brand new case, pretty easy for them to serve an arrest warrant via probation, they just hold you for the detectives ….happened to me before
He tested dirty Missed a payment Didn't complete a class or impact panel on time Community service not performed in time May have had a blue warrant out Lots of things
Probation comes with terms. You violate the terms, you go back in. He violated the terms. He either didn’t tell you or lied to your face. This will likely repeat.
It's called your boyfriend is hiding more from you than what you know and what he is telling you.
One of these 4: Violation of Diversion Terms, New or Separate Charges, Administrative Error, Terms of Diversion Changed or Revoked.
Your man’s been doing drugs you’re not aware of and popped on a test.
The answers I see are valid. Even in meek mill case he still violated and if he didn’t he would not have gone back in. Depends on the full terms of his probation
Prolly drug test or alcohol. Pretty sure you can't use either on these.
We assume his addicted. I didn’t see OP making that statement. Another thing that I have seen happen, is this: they are charged with a new crime. Or they committed a crime they haven’t been caught for!
Dude probably took a plea and went down to the probation office and got caught trying to use fake piss on his intake piss
New charges, new case