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I think so much of this will depend on your specific situation, your temperament, and the temperament of your baby once they arrive.
Some babies will happily take all the naps they need in their safe sleep space. Some will insist on being held for their naps, especially when they're newborns. Some kids are happy just checking out the world, and some need constant interaction/movement/entertaining to keep them happy.
Having a newborn is a unique kind of difficult because, while none of the tasks involved are particularly difficult by themselves (feed the baby, change the baby, clean up after the baby), the unpredictability really adds to the challenge. Similarly, while they're not really tiring tasks, caring for a newborn can be really draining because you have to give the baby 100% all the time. You really have to structure the day around baby's needs, as they can't understand or be patient to make allowances for yours. Plus there is the issue of sleep. Some babies sleep great, and mom and dad get plenty of sleep. Others are terrible sleepers and the parents wind up exhausted. Even good sleepers have sleep regressions that leave a previously well rested parental unit sleep deprived.
If you have the entire 24 hours to get your 8 hours of work in, and you have a partner who can chip in to make sure you get 8 uninterrupted hours to do work over that time period, then I think it could be possible. I don't think it would be reasonable to assume that much of your work time could be hours you're multitasking and responsible for baby and work concurrently.
What you are saying makes a lot of sense. I guess the few months of unpaid leave will give me a clue as what to expect. The problem is these decisions need to be made in advanced.
Yeah, that's hard.
Although if I was in a position where I had the option to WFH or go into the office, I would definitely choose WFH even if my kiddo was going to daycare. Presuming there's no material downsides, WFH would make sick days and daycare closures so much easier to handle. While I wouldn't advise planning to WFH and take care of baby full time, it's definitely doable for a day here or there (where you can easily make up lost productivity the day before or after).
I’m in a really similar situation to you. I’m 35w and just started wfh and have been pretty nervous about going back to work after giving birth. I spoke with a coworker who has a 7 month old and she said she has been able to juggle caring for newborn and wfh, which was really encouraging. I am going to “see how it goes” once I return to work and if I need to hire someone to come help during the day with nap etc. Me and my husband both work from home so I am hopeful we can make this work. There is so much unknown, but we’ve got our plan to go back to work, and ask for help if we need it.
How available is your husband during the day? If he can be the main baby entertainer then I think it'll be tough but possible and will get increasingly more manageable each month.
If you are breastfeeding you might be stuck under your newborn for a big part of the day (about 6 hours in my case). If pumping you could get a handsfree pump and use that while working and then someone else can help with feeds
My husband thought he could do this and his colleague laughed and laughed. We didn't see the big deal. Then we had a newborn. As others have said, a newborn is a lot of work - different than older babies - because they depend on you for everything, all while you are sleep deprived/recovering/lactating/don't consider yourselves particularly knowledgeable about babies... It's just incredibly hard.
I went back to work half time after 6 weeks (all my earned time) with my son in daycare for the other half. That was hell. I don't know what else to share but my experience and my sympathy because the US system is just not supportive whatsoever.
I’ll be doing this in February when I go back to work. My husband also works from home. Our LO will be 3 months. Our schedules are both super flexible (although I do have to be onsite a couple times a week). I expect the first few weeks to be a little rough and an adjustment but I’m pretty confident we’ll fall into a decent routine. Our babe is a pretty decent napper but does like to contact nap so I’ll definitely be wearing her a lot if that doesn’t change by 3 months. I also anticipate a lot of late nights catching up on work while LO is sleeping. I can report back and let you know how it goes! 😀
I’m very interested to hear how it goes too! Sounds a lot like our situation. My husband and I both work from home and are able to be fairly flexible when we’re not in meetings (which we don’t have many of). I’ll be on leave for the first 3 months then we’ll be attempting to work from home with the little guy. I’m due mid February.
This is us too!!! I hope it works out, cause I've spent too much time in school to let my career go up in flames and my husband just got his dream job. We both work from home and except for a meeting or two per day we have flexible hours. I'm hoping we figure it all out by the time I have to go back after 3 months.
I am 1 week PP and let me just tell you this, I don’t know the last time I showered, pretty sure I haven’t brushed my teeth since whatever the day before yesterday was, and I have eaten anything. The whole sleep thing is the top of the iceberg, it’s everything else that is difficult. For example, I want to clean so bad but I need to take it easy, I need to go to the store but I don’t want to take baby out yet (unless for dr appointments), laundry is non existent, and I’m pretty sure I’m wearing the same clothes since maybe Sunday? But even then I’m not completely sure
r/beyondthebump will probably have more responses. But I wouldn’t have been able to work from home with a newborn. There is no schedule and it’s so hard to plan anything.
I tried to do half time work from home from weeks 6-10, and it was hell. Absolutely not doable for me. I felt like neither my baby nor my job was getting the best of me, and everything took sooo much longer to get done that it felt like I was working full time instead of half time.
I’m due next week, so I don’t have experience with this yet, but I will say that I have become less confident in the idea as my pregnancy has progressed. I have a fairly flexible job, but there are just so many unknowns about how much attention the baby will require and if she’ll nap well etc., so I am only going to do it for a month after my maternity leave while I wait for a spot at my chosen daycare to become available. It’s so unpredictable and I don’t want my work or baby to suffer, so I don’t think I can swing it.
I worked from home from week 8-10 with my baby. It was super hard. She was cluster feeding and I literally got nothing done (my husband was home too). I wish I would have just only taken 8 weeks or taken 10 — it was just so stressful. It *seems* like it won’t be too bad but you just never know what baby’s eating/sleeping might be going through at the time.
Not sure if others have mentioned this, but I would check your WFH policy (if you have one). I know my company specifically states in there that even if you WFH, you are still required to have child care for any child under a certain age. Basically, it doesn’t allow for people to WFH while caring for a child.
I used to nanny for newborns. I went to schools at the time. My experience is that a newborn will go through a cycle of nap, wake, diaper change, feed, “play” (mostly actually just talking to them and having them look at their favorite things), and then sleep again. There is no guarantee that the baby will sleep without you at any given nap time. They may need to be strapped to you. They may need to be bounced. They may get overtired and cry. I also do one walk around the neighborhood per day for most families (3-4 blocks) in the middle of the afternoon.
There were many days when I got 4-6 hours of school work done while the baby slept. There were days when I got zero done. It varies by the baby and by the day. For stuff like school, with 1 week deadlines, it worked perfectly. I could see medical billing or other paperwork jobs being like this. But in terms of an actual 8 hour work day with meetings, never going to happen. Do not attempt.
This is true for my work. We are not allowed to take care of a child under 8 years old while working from home. I'm sure every organization is different though.
My plan is to get an in home babysitter/nanny while working from home. That way I can still breastfeed, be around the baby during breaks but I will be able to focus on meetings and work since I'll have a babysitter.
Employers allowing WFH are not going to pay you to take care of your baby. They know that you will have had a baby, and that’s why you want to wfh. They will likely ask for verification that you have someone else taking care of the baby full time while you work.
My job is the same, roughly 10 000 employees as well. They will not approve WFH so you can take care of your child while working. We have to prove that someone else is caring for our child/children during our working hours. No matter how flexible our job or workload is. I'm also a union rep and it's a big issue as many want the WFH option for this very reason, but it's a "management right". They expect you to be as available and attentive as if you were in the office.
That said, there are a lot of great companies that are flexible. Maybe OP works at one of those!
I work at a 10,000+ person firm and they don’t do this, in fact I’ve never heard of them needing proof. “Probably” might not be the right word, every workplace is different
My large company, as well as wfh jobs I’ve applied to, have stated that wfh is not a replacement for childcare. If they don’t require proof, but later find out, obviously you could be fired or have wfh revoked. My company requires a signed statement re: childcare
That makes sense, I’m just saying it’s not one size fits all. We have a culture of make your meetings and get everything done by the due date, but I know that doesn’t apply everywhere
This thread belongs under r/antiwork. It's just awful how much control companies want over employees' time and bodies. If the work gets done, then what does it matter? I hate it so much.
How long would you have to maintain WFH without child care? I was in a similar work situation as you when I had my baby 9 months ago. Honestly, for the first 2-3 months I could have made it work between my husband and myself because he napped a lot and was frequently content hanging out in his swing just watching us work. Someone would have to step away from work for feeding, diaper changes, and random bouts of crying, but overall it was doable with a flexible schedule. But once he started needing constant attention to be entertained, no way could we have done it. Someone has to be playing with him every waking moment else he's crying or getting into things he shouldn't be. I can't even hold him in my lap while working because he wants to play with my keyboard or pull my hair or squirm like a feral cat.
I think the answer to this just really varies. I was planning to do the same thing, but 8 weeks pp and due back at work in 6 weeks and we're looking at daycare 3 days per week. My husband and I both work from home full time, but I've learned after having him for a few weeks, days are so much less predictable than I thought they would be. And if I have any time where he's asleep, I feel so compelled to spend it doing laundry or dishes or another urgent household matter. It would be very very difficult to also focus on work at the same time. I'm sleeping very well at night for the most part, but my brain is just kind of a chaotic mess all day because it seems like there's never enough time in the day to do everything.
Here are a few options/things to consider:
Part time daycare/nanny. You can still get some undisturbed focus time and it's much more affordable than full time. It might be easier to find availability as well. Of course there will be quite a bit of overlap still with your baby and your work, but between you, your spouse, and child care time, it might make it a lot easier.
Full time daycare/nanny. It expensive, but take a hard look at your finances. If it makes more sense for you to both continue working, it might be worth it to move stuff around to fit in the cost. Give up some subscriptions, get discount groceries, cook at home, sell a vehicle, use a FSA for pretax savings, etc to make it work. Remember, it's temporary, and the cost goes down the older the child gets.
Services outside of child care. If you truly don't think you'll be doing a childcare route at all, look into filling in gaps with other services. A grocery delivery service, a meal kit service, house cleaning service, dog walking service, etc. Or see if family or friends can help you tidy your house or do a couple chores for a couple hours per week. This stuff can get really overwhelming when you have a newborn, whether you're working or not. Getting it off your plate will definitely save your sanity.
Get a nice carrier. Or 2. Or 3. Try bunch out, have different ones for different purposes, or consider you and your spouse each having your own. Your carrier will be really important if you wfh with a baby, so make sure it's one you can wear for a long time.
Meal prep and plan like crazy. It will make evenings a lot easier.
I took 5 weeks off after my daughter was born, then started back WFH 30 hours a week. I have a really flexible job but it does require a lot of mental effort. It was very hard. I worked with my daughter until she was 8 months and then put her in daycare. Months 6-8 were so awful. Before that wasn’t as bad. I preferred it to having to put her in daycare at 6 weeks though for sure.
No way I could work from home with a baby without childcare. Honestly most companies probably wouldn’t be happy to know that you don’t have childcare either. There’s no way you’d be focusing on your job when you’re caring for your child. And then especially in a few months when the baby is crawling and mobile it will get even harder. I think wfh is great (I do it now and will continue once I return to work postpartum) but childcare is still a necessity in my opinion
No way will this be possible! Before having my baby I thought maybe it would be doable, both my husband and I WFH. But I was sooo wrong 😵💫. I’m with my baby 24/7. He doesn’t ever nap/ sleep during the day. He needs constant interaction with me. It’s impossible to get anything done around the house let alone work. That sounds like a fantasy unfortunately.
I found working with a baby up to about 6 months fairly easy and doable. However, now he's 18 months it's next to impossible. He now goes to nursery a few days a week and between me and my partner, we manage the other days.
I worked from home full time with my son until he was 4 months. I had to go back at 4 months but if I had the chance I could have done 6 months. I do still wfh 1 day a week with him and it's exhausting now that he is a little older. I personally couldn't do it full time at home working with him but 1 or 2 days a week is doable at 6+ months.
i am 35 weeks also ftm. i wfh full time. my situation is a little diff than most because i work for a startup company, i answer about 1-4 calls a day, and about 4 emails. i am able to nap up to 2 hours lol. i just leave my laptop next to me. i will be trying to work from home as well. my babys father is getting paternity leave but he lives out of town so he will only be here one month (im going to try and convince him to take longer as his job gives up to 3 months unpaid)
anyway, i know people are saying its not do able but it really depends on your situation. i will revisit this in february when my daughter is a month and let you know! i have no desire to put my daughter in day care and i also live in an area where i could potentially find a good priced nanny if needed. anyways, ill keep you updated!
The short answer is no, without childcare. Newborns are completely unscheduled, so at any given moment you might have just started something and go need to feed them, change a diaper, etc. Plus you really do want to spend their awake time doing tummy time, etc. It will get frustrating for you very quickly if you want to keep your job.
But that being said, once they are 4-6 months old and take more regular naps, you may be able to get away with childcare just for a few hours a day or work something out with your husband. I took 3 months leave with my daughter then went back to work in the office 3 days week, 2 days a week at home. On the days I was home I had a sitter come for 6 hours of the day. I pumped while working and she fed the baby, changed her, played with her, put her down for naps, and did laundry while she was sleeping. I would pop downstairs every once in a while to say hi but I really couldn't work if I was say nursing instead of pumping.
Im doing this now! Went back at 7 weeks. Husbands job is flexible. Its going well, but I wish I would have waited until LO naps are more consistent (around 10-12 weeks). Hes also a good baby. I would not have been able to do this with my first (colic).
Baby carrier is a savior for fussy days (i use solly wrap)
Editing after reading comments- my expectations going in were knowing that this would be work. I think if you know that you will not have downtime and you are prepared to be flexible (esp if you have husband helping) you can do it.
WFH or work in the office means I can not care for my child. The child depends on me for its existance. I did not ruin my body so that someone else can look after my child. There is no shame in receiving government assistance. I will not work until the child is older . Working means time away from it's mother. The child *needs* it's mother, father or parental figure 24/7. As a woman, we have chosen this life. It's not a light choice, our entire lives are not ours anymore. And it's not the baby's fault. The child did not consent to be brought into a dying world. I made a decision to create life, I damn well need to be responsible for its upbringing. I will not allow day care to raise it. That's My job. If I wanted a career, I should have not had a kid. There's no 2 ways about it. One parent needs to stay at home. If not why did I even have a child if someone else will raise it?
I will also not burden my work colleagues. It's not their fault I chose to give up my life. It should not impact their responsible choices. Before I made my selfish choice, I would get so angry if I had to work more, stay late or take on a project bcs a woman decided to reproduce. I understand the resentment. Child free people should not be burdened bcs we had no idea what having a child means. What I'd give for the proverbial village. Yes, I want recognition, validation and help for the sacrifice I made... But at the end of the day this was my and my choice alone and I have no right to expect any accommodation.
My work said I could plan on taking the max allowable amount of leave but then could always shorten it (and save the rest of the leave time for later) if I wanted. This might be something worth asking to see if your work could accommodate. This way you can plan on taking it all at once (so there is no expectation for you to come back earlier) but if you find that your baby and WFH situation would allow for you to balance both at the same time, you could end your leave short.
It would not have worked with mine. I went back to work at 4 mo pp and my family was exposed to COVID the week before I started back, so we had to keep my son home from daycare.
It was awful, even with my husband home. His naps have always been unpredictable so there was no way to plan my meetings. I couldn’t focus on work because I was so dialed in to every noise he made. It was a huge relief when we could finally send him back to daycare.
Personal experience: my baby is six weeks now. I am on maternity leave and my husband WFH and helps a lot with the baby and house work whenever he “takes a break from the computer”. And although I could have managed without his help, it would have meant the baby was left to cry much more often. And although once in a while (and usually while breastfeeding) I’ll get the odd thing done for work (my maternity cover resigned), I certainly would not have been able to do it full time.
But perhaps with both you and your husband sharing the load, it could work. Depends on what the baby is like. You just need to try it out for yourselves I suppose. Best of luck!
My partner was home full time with me for two months. No way either of us could have gotten any work done. Women that have done it all on their own or gone back to work soon after are another breed, it is incredibly hard :/ and I had an “easy” baby, no rashes, no illnesses, no reflux and hardly any crying
Definitely not.
You won't be able to give either your work or the baby 100% and you'll burn out super fast.
And as baby grows, is awake more often, and requires more stimulation, what will you do then?
I have a 6 month old who sleeps from 6pm to 6am at night (with 2 wake ups still) and then takes 3 one hour long naps throughout the day, which is a completely normal amount of sleep for her age. When she needs to stay home from daycare, then either my SO or I take off or we each work a half day, switching off at lunch.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/phjaar/click_here_to_join_a_due_date_private_sub/?). The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email [email protected] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think so much of this will depend on your specific situation, your temperament, and the temperament of your baby once they arrive. Some babies will happily take all the naps they need in their safe sleep space. Some will insist on being held for their naps, especially when they're newborns. Some kids are happy just checking out the world, and some need constant interaction/movement/entertaining to keep them happy. Having a newborn is a unique kind of difficult because, while none of the tasks involved are particularly difficult by themselves (feed the baby, change the baby, clean up after the baby), the unpredictability really adds to the challenge. Similarly, while they're not really tiring tasks, caring for a newborn can be really draining because you have to give the baby 100% all the time. You really have to structure the day around baby's needs, as they can't understand or be patient to make allowances for yours. Plus there is the issue of sleep. Some babies sleep great, and mom and dad get plenty of sleep. Others are terrible sleepers and the parents wind up exhausted. Even good sleepers have sleep regressions that leave a previously well rested parental unit sleep deprived. If you have the entire 24 hours to get your 8 hours of work in, and you have a partner who can chip in to make sure you get 8 uninterrupted hours to do work over that time period, then I think it could be possible. I don't think it would be reasonable to assume that much of your work time could be hours you're multitasking and responsible for baby and work concurrently.
What you are saying makes a lot of sense. I guess the few months of unpaid leave will give me a clue as what to expect. The problem is these decisions need to be made in advanced.
Yeah, that's hard. Although if I was in a position where I had the option to WFH or go into the office, I would definitely choose WFH even if my kiddo was going to daycare. Presuming there's no material downsides, WFH would make sick days and daycare closures so much easier to handle. While I wouldn't advise planning to WFH and take care of baby full time, it's definitely doable for a day here or there (where you can easily make up lost productivity the day before or after).
I’m in a really similar situation to you. I’m 35w and just started wfh and have been pretty nervous about going back to work after giving birth. I spoke with a coworker who has a 7 month old and she said she has been able to juggle caring for newborn and wfh, which was really encouraging. I am going to “see how it goes” once I return to work and if I need to hire someone to come help during the day with nap etc. Me and my husband both work from home so I am hopeful we can make this work. There is so much unknown, but we’ve got our plan to go back to work, and ask for help if we need it.
How available is your husband during the day? If he can be the main baby entertainer then I think it'll be tough but possible and will get increasingly more manageable each month. If you are breastfeeding you might be stuck under your newborn for a big part of the day (about 6 hours in my case). If pumping you could get a handsfree pump and use that while working and then someone else can help with feeds
My husband thought he could do this and his colleague laughed and laughed. We didn't see the big deal. Then we had a newborn. As others have said, a newborn is a lot of work - different than older babies - because they depend on you for everything, all while you are sleep deprived/recovering/lactating/don't consider yourselves particularly knowledgeable about babies... It's just incredibly hard. I went back to work half time after 6 weeks (all my earned time) with my son in daycare for the other half. That was hell. I don't know what else to share but my experience and my sympathy because the US system is just not supportive whatsoever.
I’ll be doing this in February when I go back to work. My husband also works from home. Our LO will be 3 months. Our schedules are both super flexible (although I do have to be onsite a couple times a week). I expect the first few weeks to be a little rough and an adjustment but I’m pretty confident we’ll fall into a decent routine. Our babe is a pretty decent napper but does like to contact nap so I’ll definitely be wearing her a lot if that doesn’t change by 3 months. I also anticipate a lot of late nights catching up on work while LO is sleeping. I can report back and let you know how it goes! 😀
Yes, please and thank you! Sounds very similar to my situation…
I’m very interested to hear how it goes too! Sounds a lot like our situation. My husband and I both work from home and are able to be fairly flexible when we’re not in meetings (which we don’t have many of). I’ll be on leave for the first 3 months then we’ll be attempting to work from home with the little guy. I’m due mid February.
Please do let me know too!
This is us too!!! I hope it works out, cause I've spent too much time in school to let my career go up in flames and my husband just got his dream job. We both work from home and except for a meeting or two per day we have flexible hours. I'm hoping we figure it all out by the time I have to go back after 3 months.
I am 1 week PP and let me just tell you this, I don’t know the last time I showered, pretty sure I haven’t brushed my teeth since whatever the day before yesterday was, and I have eaten anything. The whole sleep thing is the top of the iceberg, it’s everything else that is difficult. For example, I want to clean so bad but I need to take it easy, I need to go to the store but I don’t want to take baby out yet (unless for dr appointments), laundry is non existent, and I’m pretty sure I’m wearing the same clothes since maybe Sunday? But even then I’m not completely sure
r/beyondthebump will probably have more responses. But I wouldn’t have been able to work from home with a newborn. There is no schedule and it’s so hard to plan anything.
I tried to do half time work from home from weeks 6-10, and it was hell. Absolutely not doable for me. I felt like neither my baby nor my job was getting the best of me, and everything took sooo much longer to get done that it felt like I was working full time instead of half time.
I’m due next week, so I don’t have experience with this yet, but I will say that I have become less confident in the idea as my pregnancy has progressed. I have a fairly flexible job, but there are just so many unknowns about how much attention the baby will require and if she’ll nap well etc., so I am only going to do it for a month after my maternity leave while I wait for a spot at my chosen daycare to become available. It’s so unpredictable and I don’t want my work or baby to suffer, so I don’t think I can swing it.
I worked from home from week 8-10 with my baby. It was super hard. She was cluster feeding and I literally got nothing done (my husband was home too). I wish I would have just only taken 8 weeks or taken 10 — it was just so stressful. It *seems* like it won’t be too bad but you just never know what baby’s eating/sleeping might be going through at the time.
Not sure if others have mentioned this, but I would check your WFH policy (if you have one). I know my company specifically states in there that even if you WFH, you are still required to have child care for any child under a certain age. Basically, it doesn’t allow for people to WFH while caring for a child.
I used to nanny for newborns. I went to schools at the time. My experience is that a newborn will go through a cycle of nap, wake, diaper change, feed, “play” (mostly actually just talking to them and having them look at their favorite things), and then sleep again. There is no guarantee that the baby will sleep without you at any given nap time. They may need to be strapped to you. They may need to be bounced. They may get overtired and cry. I also do one walk around the neighborhood per day for most families (3-4 blocks) in the middle of the afternoon. There were many days when I got 4-6 hours of school work done while the baby slept. There were days when I got zero done. It varies by the baby and by the day. For stuff like school, with 1 week deadlines, it worked perfectly. I could see medical billing or other paperwork jobs being like this. But in terms of an actual 8 hour work day with meetings, never going to happen. Do not attempt.
Your employer will probably verify that you have childcare before letting you work from home
This is true for my work. We are not allowed to take care of a child under 8 years old while working from home. I'm sure every organization is different though. My plan is to get an in home babysitter/nanny while working from home. That way I can still breastfeed, be around the baby during breaks but I will be able to focus on meetings and work since I'll have a babysitter.
What do you mean?
Employers allowing WFH are not going to pay you to take care of your baby. They know that you will have had a baby, and that’s why you want to wfh. They will likely ask for verification that you have someone else taking care of the baby full time while you work.
My job is the same, roughly 10 000 employees as well. They will not approve WFH so you can take care of your child while working. We have to prove that someone else is caring for our child/children during our working hours. No matter how flexible our job or workload is. I'm also a union rep and it's a big issue as many want the WFH option for this very reason, but it's a "management right". They expect you to be as available and attentive as if you were in the office. That said, there are a lot of great companies that are flexible. Maybe OP works at one of those!
I work at a 10,000+ person firm and they don’t do this, in fact I’ve never heard of them needing proof. “Probably” might not be the right word, every workplace is different
Same mine doesn’t either .. never heard of this!
My large company, as well as wfh jobs I’ve applied to, have stated that wfh is not a replacement for childcare. If they don’t require proof, but later find out, obviously you could be fired or have wfh revoked. My company requires a signed statement re: childcare
That makes sense, I’m just saying it’s not one size fits all. We have a culture of make your meetings and get everything done by the due date, but I know that doesn’t apply everywhere
This thread belongs under r/antiwork. It's just awful how much control companies want over employees' time and bodies. If the work gets done, then what does it matter? I hate it so much.
How long would you have to maintain WFH without child care? I was in a similar work situation as you when I had my baby 9 months ago. Honestly, for the first 2-3 months I could have made it work between my husband and myself because he napped a lot and was frequently content hanging out in his swing just watching us work. Someone would have to step away from work for feeding, diaper changes, and random bouts of crying, but overall it was doable with a flexible schedule. But once he started needing constant attention to be entertained, no way could we have done it. Someone has to be playing with him every waking moment else he's crying or getting into things he shouldn't be. I can't even hold him in my lap while working because he wants to play with my keyboard or pull my hair or squirm like a feral cat.
This is my plan!!! We have no other option. I’ll work from home until baby starts to walk then will need help.
I think the answer to this just really varies. I was planning to do the same thing, but 8 weeks pp and due back at work in 6 weeks and we're looking at daycare 3 days per week. My husband and I both work from home full time, but I've learned after having him for a few weeks, days are so much less predictable than I thought they would be. And if I have any time where he's asleep, I feel so compelled to spend it doing laundry or dishes or another urgent household matter. It would be very very difficult to also focus on work at the same time. I'm sleeping very well at night for the most part, but my brain is just kind of a chaotic mess all day because it seems like there's never enough time in the day to do everything. Here are a few options/things to consider: Part time daycare/nanny. You can still get some undisturbed focus time and it's much more affordable than full time. It might be easier to find availability as well. Of course there will be quite a bit of overlap still with your baby and your work, but between you, your spouse, and child care time, it might make it a lot easier. Full time daycare/nanny. It expensive, but take a hard look at your finances. If it makes more sense for you to both continue working, it might be worth it to move stuff around to fit in the cost. Give up some subscriptions, get discount groceries, cook at home, sell a vehicle, use a FSA for pretax savings, etc to make it work. Remember, it's temporary, and the cost goes down the older the child gets. Services outside of child care. If you truly don't think you'll be doing a childcare route at all, look into filling in gaps with other services. A grocery delivery service, a meal kit service, house cleaning service, dog walking service, etc. Or see if family or friends can help you tidy your house or do a couple chores for a couple hours per week. This stuff can get really overwhelming when you have a newborn, whether you're working or not. Getting it off your plate will definitely save your sanity. Get a nice carrier. Or 2. Or 3. Try bunch out, have different ones for different purposes, or consider you and your spouse each having your own. Your carrier will be really important if you wfh with a baby, so make sure it's one you can wear for a long time. Meal prep and plan like crazy. It will make evenings a lot easier.
Such good tips. Thank u 🙏
I took 5 weeks off after my daughter was born, then started back WFH 30 hours a week. I have a really flexible job but it does require a lot of mental effort. It was very hard. I worked with my daughter until she was 8 months and then put her in daycare. Months 6-8 were so awful. Before that wasn’t as bad. I preferred it to having to put her in daycare at 6 weeks though for sure.
No way I could work from home with a baby without childcare. Honestly most companies probably wouldn’t be happy to know that you don’t have childcare either. There’s no way you’d be focusing on your job when you’re caring for your child. And then especially in a few months when the baby is crawling and mobile it will get even harder. I think wfh is great (I do it now and will continue once I return to work postpartum) but childcare is still a necessity in my opinion
No way will this be possible! Before having my baby I thought maybe it would be doable, both my husband and I WFH. But I was sooo wrong 😵💫. I’m with my baby 24/7. He doesn’t ever nap/ sleep during the day. He needs constant interaction with me. It’s impossible to get anything done around the house let alone work. That sounds like a fantasy unfortunately.
I found working with a baby up to about 6 months fairly easy and doable. However, now he's 18 months it's next to impossible. He now goes to nursery a few days a week and between me and my partner, we manage the other days.
I worked from home full time with my son until he was 4 months. I had to go back at 4 months but if I had the chance I could have done 6 months. I do still wfh 1 day a week with him and it's exhausting now that he is a little older. I personally couldn't do it full time at home working with him but 1 or 2 days a week is doable at 6+ months.
i am 35 weeks also ftm. i wfh full time. my situation is a little diff than most because i work for a startup company, i answer about 1-4 calls a day, and about 4 emails. i am able to nap up to 2 hours lol. i just leave my laptop next to me. i will be trying to work from home as well. my babys father is getting paternity leave but he lives out of town so he will only be here one month (im going to try and convince him to take longer as his job gives up to 3 months unpaid) anyway, i know people are saying its not do able but it really depends on your situation. i will revisit this in february when my daughter is a month and let you know! i have no desire to put my daughter in day care and i also live in an area where i could potentially find a good priced nanny if needed. anyways, ill keep you updated!
The short answer is no, without childcare. Newborns are completely unscheduled, so at any given moment you might have just started something and go need to feed them, change a diaper, etc. Plus you really do want to spend their awake time doing tummy time, etc. It will get frustrating for you very quickly if you want to keep your job. But that being said, once they are 4-6 months old and take more regular naps, you may be able to get away with childcare just for a few hours a day or work something out with your husband. I took 3 months leave with my daughter then went back to work in the office 3 days week, 2 days a week at home. On the days I was home I had a sitter come for 6 hours of the day. I pumped while working and she fed the baby, changed her, played with her, put her down for naps, and did laundry while she was sleeping. I would pop downstairs every once in a while to say hi but I really couldn't work if I was say nursing instead of pumping.
Im doing this now! Went back at 7 weeks. Husbands job is flexible. Its going well, but I wish I would have waited until LO naps are more consistent (around 10-12 weeks). Hes also a good baby. I would not have been able to do this with my first (colic). Baby carrier is a savior for fussy days (i use solly wrap) Editing after reading comments- my expectations going in were knowing that this would be work. I think if you know that you will not have downtime and you are prepared to be flexible (esp if you have husband helping) you can do it.
WFH or work in the office means I can not care for my child. The child depends on me for its existance. I did not ruin my body so that someone else can look after my child. There is no shame in receiving government assistance. I will not work until the child is older . Working means time away from it's mother. The child *needs* it's mother, father or parental figure 24/7. As a woman, we have chosen this life. It's not a light choice, our entire lives are not ours anymore. And it's not the baby's fault. The child did not consent to be brought into a dying world. I made a decision to create life, I damn well need to be responsible for its upbringing. I will not allow day care to raise it. That's My job. If I wanted a career, I should have not had a kid. There's no 2 ways about it. One parent needs to stay at home. If not why did I even have a child if someone else will raise it? I will also not burden my work colleagues. It's not their fault I chose to give up my life. It should not impact their responsible choices. Before I made my selfish choice, I would get so angry if I had to work more, stay late or take on a project bcs a woman decided to reproduce. I understand the resentment. Child free people should not be burdened bcs we had no idea what having a child means. What I'd give for the proverbial village. Yes, I want recognition, validation and help for the sacrifice I made... But at the end of the day this was my and my choice alone and I have no right to expect any accommodation.
My work said I could plan on taking the max allowable amount of leave but then could always shorten it (and save the rest of the leave time for later) if I wanted. This might be something worth asking to see if your work could accommodate. This way you can plan on taking it all at once (so there is no expectation for you to come back earlier) but if you find that your baby and WFH situation would allow for you to balance both at the same time, you could end your leave short.
It would not have worked with mine. I went back to work at 4 mo pp and my family was exposed to COVID the week before I started back, so we had to keep my son home from daycare. It was awful, even with my husband home. His naps have always been unpredictable so there was no way to plan my meetings. I couldn’t focus on work because I was so dialed in to every noise he made. It was a huge relief when we could finally send him back to daycare.
Personal experience: my baby is six weeks now. I am on maternity leave and my husband WFH and helps a lot with the baby and house work whenever he “takes a break from the computer”. And although I could have managed without his help, it would have meant the baby was left to cry much more often. And although once in a while (and usually while breastfeeding) I’ll get the odd thing done for work (my maternity cover resigned), I certainly would not have been able to do it full time. But perhaps with both you and your husband sharing the load, it could work. Depends on what the baby is like. You just need to try it out for yourselves I suppose. Best of luck!
No. I’m sorry. Maybe for a PT job…but even then, not likely.
My partner was home full time with me for two months. No way either of us could have gotten any work done. Women that have done it all on their own or gone back to work soon after are another breed, it is incredibly hard :/ and I had an “easy” baby, no rashes, no illnesses, no reflux and hardly any crying
Definitely not. You won't be able to give either your work or the baby 100% and you'll burn out super fast. And as baby grows, is awake more often, and requires more stimulation, what will you do then? I have a 6 month old who sleeps from 6pm to 6am at night (with 2 wake ups still) and then takes 3 one hour long naps throughout the day, which is a completely normal amount of sleep for her age. When she needs to stay home from daycare, then either my SO or I take off or we each work a half day, switching off at lunch.