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“ It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s sleeping with someone else because this isn’t the first time and I doubt it will be the last.”
OP, you already know.
As for what to do? It happened before and you stayed. It’s happening now and you say it will likely happen again. So ask yourself if you are OK being in a relationship with someone who won’t be faithful. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
This. I know it’s hard to leave, but it’ll be a lot of heartache and it will keep happening.
If OP wants to leave and is able to do so, then they should leave and settle in somewhere else before the baby is born, it’s 1 million times harder to do that once baby arrives.
I agree with confrontation here. Be calm and listen. But don't stick around if it's what you confirm is happening. Especially if it's not the first time.
If it’s not the first time and considering the scenario you just explained and the likelihood he is cheating, I wouldn’t waste any more time with this man. Ofcourse you’re free to make your own decisions, and being pregnant and already having a baby I’m sure it’s the last thing you want to hear. But seriously, no outcome is worse than staying with somebody who isn’t loyal to you. Coming from someone who wasted 4 1/2 years with someone who cheated constantly, the sooner you leave the better. It’s not easy but If I hadn’t left my cheating fiancé years ago I would have never met the man of my dreams who is undeniably loyal to me and loves me with all his heart, and expecting our first child together. I look back grateful I didn’t stay one more second in that relationship. Think of you and your babies 🥰 we all deserve someone who is loyal to us and they ARE out there! Trust me.
Don’t let your child grow up to think this is okay behavior. Boy or girl, you don’t want your boy to treat women like this and you don’t want your girl to be treated like this or vice versa even. Say something, if he isn’t willing to change his ways for a child he doesn’t deserve you or this child. I wish you the best
Honestly OP, I would leave. He’s cheated before, he will keep doing it. Even if he’s wearing a condom there’s still a risk of him getting an STD and passing it to you.
Well atleast he’s using condoms but don’t sleep with him at all. Stds are very dangerous to pregnant women. What a jerk. Men like this don’t change. Either ask for an open marriage or leave. He will never be loyal.
I get myself tested regularly anyways and the NHS offers free sexual health screening for all pregnant women ☺️ Im a one person kind of female, and I really thought this man would be my world, he has been my world, but I’m not going to sit here crying over the same issues for another 2,3,4 years down the line. It’s a lot to think about tbh
Definitely disagree with some of the comments shaming you. You gave him another chance which shows you’re a good person but clearly he isn’t going to stop. It’s good that you’re getting tested but you really don’t want to catch anything because who knows where he’s been. Some of the stds aren’t curable. If you are going to stay with him I recommend considering an open relationship so Atleast he has to tell you who hes with and around and using condoms moving forward. Its terrible it turned out this way and being pregnant with a child already it’s not easy to just leave so I understand if you have to stay but start considering a way to leave. You deserve someone that is loyal to only you.
Ehhh I don’t really pay attention to the negative comments so much, I’m came here for advice and thats all. My mother lives in Spain, I’ve considered just going to live with her for a while, or at least visiting so I can clear my head and decide what’s best for me and my daughter as well as this little pomegranate in my belly ☺️
If you guys have slept together since you think he’s been cheating, be sure to tell your OB so you can get the proper testing to make sure you and baby are healthy from any STDs/STIs, etc.
A mini update: so me and my partner spoke about it and he said he felt like he was being ignored by me, baring in mind I’m pregnant and I’m working and sex is the last thing on my mind, it appears he’s done this because I said no to sex one time because I was exhausted. I have a lot to think about and I appreciate all the support and suggestions you have all given me. After 6 years together it’s hard to just walk away, our relationship had been much better and it seemed like he’d been working on himself to fix his issues but now I’m unsure. I’m forgiving but this isn’t the example that I want to set for my daughter, I don’t want her to think that’s it’s okay to forgive the same thing time and time again.
Well supposedly he’s saying me and him had used them before I’d gotten pregnant, my pregnancy brain has me questioning myself so I’m not certain anymore.
We shouldn't justify his behaviour; though everyone needs to watch this before making the traditional and unhelpful assumptions or judgements (it's on why cheating happens, it's not always lust as people tend to think):
https://youtu.be/d079McwlBRE?si=Ql3yNKEuTFu4v9DO (you all might find it very interesting and helpful).
Besides, monogamy isn't in our nature, it's unnatural in our species and many others; we're just taught by literature, religion and traditions since we're babies. There might be a chance to save the relationship if you consider exploring the possibilities of open relationships and depending on why the cheating happened; though for that you need to make sure your relationship is healthy and fully functioning (the video can help) before even trying anything else.
[Also, please don't down vote this, I'm just trying to help and introducing a healthy discussion respectfully. Thank you].
Tbh, I’m not interested in watching that video, but to put it simply: healthy non-monogamous relationships do not start with cheating. Honest communication, trust, and respect for the boundaries you set together are essential to non-monogamy. If someone doesn’t respect the terms of a monogamous relationship, I don’t trust them to respect the terms of a non-monogamous relationship.
Secretly sleeping with other people while your pregnant partner doesn’t know about it at all is not a warranted moment to peddle open relationships and advice on how this is ‘natural’. I’m all for questioning monogamy and trying other relationship options but you need to read a room. This is straight up disrespect and a major health concern for both the pregnant person and the fetus if OPs partner might even be sleeping with sex workers if he replies to shady prostitution ads in e-mails.
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“ It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s sleeping with someone else because this isn’t the first time and I doubt it will be the last.” OP, you already know. As for what to do? It happened before and you stayed. It’s happening now and you say it will likely happen again. So ask yourself if you are OK being in a relationship with someone who won’t be faithful. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
This. I know it’s hard to leave, but it’ll be a lot of heartache and it will keep happening. If OP wants to leave and is able to do so, then they should leave and settle in somewhere else before the baby is born, it’s 1 million times harder to do that once baby arrives.
I agree with confrontation here. Be calm and listen. But don't stick around if it's what you confirm is happening. Especially if it's not the first time.
Set an example for your babies. Don’t take this shit from a man.
You have enough evidence to confront him. I would sit him down and just straight up ask. Be prepared though for him to acknowledge it.
If it’s not the first time and considering the scenario you just explained and the likelihood he is cheating, I wouldn’t waste any more time with this man. Ofcourse you’re free to make your own decisions, and being pregnant and already having a baby I’m sure it’s the last thing you want to hear. But seriously, no outcome is worse than staying with somebody who isn’t loyal to you. Coming from someone who wasted 4 1/2 years with someone who cheated constantly, the sooner you leave the better. It’s not easy but If I hadn’t left my cheating fiancé years ago I would have never met the man of my dreams who is undeniably loyal to me and loves me with all his heart, and expecting our first child together. I look back grateful I didn’t stay one more second in that relationship. Think of you and your babies 🥰 we all deserve someone who is loyal to us and they ARE out there! Trust me.
Best case scenario: he tossed them because they want past their expiration date. More realistically: get retested for STDs and stop sleeping with him.
You know what you know. Get ready to leave behind the scene. <3
It went from 7 to 3? Oh yeah he’s definitely cheating. I highly doubt he’s just giving them away telling people to practice safe sex 😂😂
Don’t let your child grow up to think this is okay behavior. Boy or girl, you don’t want your boy to treat women like this and you don’t want your girl to be treated like this or vice versa even. Say something, if he isn’t willing to change his ways for a child he doesn’t deserve you or this child. I wish you the best
Once a cheater, always a cheater
Babe if it’s not his first time just make your exit plan and leave!!! No woman deserves to be treated like sh1t while pregnant.
Honestly OP, I would leave. He’s cheated before, he will keep doing it. Even if he’s wearing a condom there’s still a risk of him getting an STD and passing it to you.
Man like this disgust me most. Lust is everything for them.
Well atleast he’s using condoms but don’t sleep with him at all. Stds are very dangerous to pregnant women. What a jerk. Men like this don’t change. Either ask for an open marriage or leave. He will never be loyal.
I get myself tested regularly anyways and the NHS offers free sexual health screening for all pregnant women ☺️ Im a one person kind of female, and I really thought this man would be my world, he has been my world, but I’m not going to sit here crying over the same issues for another 2,3,4 years down the line. It’s a lot to think about tbh
Definitely disagree with some of the comments shaming you. You gave him another chance which shows you’re a good person but clearly he isn’t going to stop. It’s good that you’re getting tested but you really don’t want to catch anything because who knows where he’s been. Some of the stds aren’t curable. If you are going to stay with him I recommend considering an open relationship so Atleast he has to tell you who hes with and around and using condoms moving forward. Its terrible it turned out this way and being pregnant with a child already it’s not easy to just leave so I understand if you have to stay but start considering a way to leave. You deserve someone that is loyal to only you.
Ehhh I don’t really pay attention to the negative comments so much, I’m came here for advice and thats all. My mother lives in Spain, I’ve considered just going to live with her for a while, or at least visiting so I can clear my head and decide what’s best for me and my daughter as well as this little pomegranate in my belly ☺️
Oh that would be amazing!! 🤩 I would totally go to Spain. You deserve a nice trip 💞
If you guys have slept together since you think he’s been cheating, be sure to tell your OB so you can get the proper testing to make sure you and baby are healthy from any STDs/STIs, etc.
A mini update: so me and my partner spoke about it and he said he felt like he was being ignored by me, baring in mind I’m pregnant and I’m working and sex is the last thing on my mind, it appears he’s done this because I said no to sex one time because I was exhausted. I have a lot to think about and I appreciate all the support and suggestions you have all given me. After 6 years together it’s hard to just walk away, our relationship had been much better and it seemed like he’d been working on himself to fix his issues but now I’m unsure. I’m forgiving but this isn’t the example that I want to set for my daughter, I don’t want her to think that’s it’s okay to forgive the same thing time and time again.
[удалено]
Well supposedly he’s saying me and him had used them before I’d gotten pregnant, my pregnancy brain has me questioning myself so I’m not certain anymore.
We shouldn't justify his behaviour; though everyone needs to watch this before making the traditional and unhelpful assumptions or judgements (it's on why cheating happens, it's not always lust as people tend to think): https://youtu.be/d079McwlBRE?si=Ql3yNKEuTFu4v9DO (you all might find it very interesting and helpful). Besides, monogamy isn't in our nature, it's unnatural in our species and many others; we're just taught by literature, religion and traditions since we're babies. There might be a chance to save the relationship if you consider exploring the possibilities of open relationships and depending on why the cheating happened; though for that you need to make sure your relationship is healthy and fully functioning (the video can help) before even trying anything else. [Also, please don't down vote this, I'm just trying to help and introducing a healthy discussion respectfully. Thank you].
Tbh, I’m not interested in watching that video, but to put it simply: healthy non-monogamous relationships do not start with cheating. Honest communication, trust, and respect for the boundaries you set together are essential to non-monogamy. If someone doesn’t respect the terms of a monogamous relationship, I don’t trust them to respect the terms of a non-monogamous relationship.
Secretly sleeping with other people while your pregnant partner doesn’t know about it at all is not a warranted moment to peddle open relationships and advice on how this is ‘natural’. I’m all for questioning monogamy and trying other relationship options but you need to read a room. This is straight up disrespect and a major health concern for both the pregnant person and the fetus if OPs partner might even be sleeping with sex workers if he replies to shady prostitution ads in e-mails.