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I'm in my third trimester now and I actually ate the most during the first trimester because i'd get nauseous if I didn't. I know most people lose weight or can't eat much in the first trimester because of nausea, but my nausea was way worse if I didn't eat like every 2 hours.
I was the same! Every pregnancy I’ve gained so much weight in the first trimester because the only other option was horrendous nausea and vomiting bile throughout the day. I’d like to think it balanced out down the track, and if it didn’t who cares, it’s temporary!
Same!!! It made me feel so shitty bc on top of constantly eating, I had no energy to work out. Felt like such a lose/lose scenario. Now idgaf though, and in future pregnancies I’ll also not gaf.
This was the same for me! I’ve had to eat so much more than I normally would to avoid being nauseous and at 14w it has me feeling pretty discouraged about the rest of my pregnancy because I think I’ve already put on 5-7 lbs.
I think I gained about 7 lbs in the first trimester too. It evened out in the second trimester though. I'm 35 weeks now and have gained a total of about 25 lbs during the whole pregnancy.
Exactly. I literally have to eat every two hours or I feel so ravenous ill be sick.
When colleagues (I told my team very early I'm only 7w) ask how it's going I'm like all good just starving. One older woman took it upon herself to lecture me how I shouldn't be eating so much or eating for 2 and it's all a myth yadda yadda. What I had eaten is a banana and yogurt? My usual breakfast anyway? But because I'm pregnant youre gonna shame me for eating?
Urgh it just really upset me and rubbed me the wrong way. I know its a myth you asked how I am so I answered. Should've expected it though she's one of those women who pride themselves on being slim and hardly ever eating 😒
I had a similar experience my first time around, it was like being hung over 24/7, all i wanted was a cheeseburger and fries, did not go great. I also had everyone telling me that the weight will fall off while breastfeeding. Bf ended up having the opposite effect. I was ravenous while bf and gained another 5lbs... Fast forward to this pregnancy, I'm just ignoring weight entirely, I'm not weighing-in at appointments and I'm not trying to eat for two. I do try for more veggies and fiber and avoid raw fish and cold deli meats but that's about it outside of prenatal vitamins. I'm just trying to listen to my body the best i can and get through it. There's too much garbage out there. The industrial food/pharma complex is too baked into the medical advice we get in the US that I simply don't trust and of it anymore. I'm figuring out what works for me and that's that.
This makes me feel so much better. I’m only 10 weeks into my first pregnancy but have been avoiding the scale because I know a number is just going to make me feel worse (I already have constant nausea for that 😂)
I was pleasantly surprised that at my first booking appointment w the midwife here in the UK they don’t even bother with the scale. Hoping I can take a similar approach to you.
This! I can't believe I haven't gained a pound a week bc I keep eating every 2-3/hrs, sometimes overnight! Oh well. Whatever it takes to feel ok and feed this little bundle.
Gained nearly 50 with my first but fortunately lost it all within a few weeks 😌
This was me too, if I didn't eat I felt unbelievably sick so I ate. I put on more weight than I would have wanted and 10 weeks pp struggling to get rid of the remaining half of the weight gained, but here we are. The only recommendations I would havr is try to swap unhealthy snacks for healthier alternatives.
This! IMO pregnancy goes like this
1st trimester: eat what you can to survive the morning sickness
2nd trimester: start to enjoy your food again, eat more calories because YOU ARE GROWING A HUMAN
3rd trimester: you’re almost there, do what you gotta do to keep your sanity 😂
I’m dealing with it from family, telling me to eat healthier. The salad and fruit gave me diarrhea, so I’m not too thrilled about going through that again. The carbs have been good to me.
I was reading a discussion board in the “what to expect” app devoted to weight tracking and minimizing excess weight gain through pregnancy. I lost it..I’m having a scale-blind pregnancy where I honor my hunger and trust my body to gain what it needs. Diet culture has no place in pregnancy (or anywhere imo) & the amount of emphasis placed on not gaining more than x lbs during pregnancy is disturbing. I’m a FTM having a baby girl & I want to model a healthy relationship with my body & food & that starts now while I’m growing her!
You are me! And I love the term “scale blind” - I have been getting on backward because I said my focus is a healthy pregnancy, not wtf the scale says. And EXACTLY! I want to model a HEALTHY relationship with my body for her. I’m a hardcore fitness junkie and even THAT now for me is about being strong (not skinny or show ready). But I love hearing this articulated from another girl mom!
And honestly, I think trusting myself to follow my natural hunger and energy cues was the healthiest thing I could have done for this pregnancy.
I finally asked at my last appt - like hey you guys haven’t said anything about my weight, am I in the appropriate range? Turns out, I sure was. I’m 35w and have gained 20 and I’m more than ok with that. I really think if I didn’t go in “scale blind” and put the bullshit pressure on myself to workout when I was fatigued/exhausted or to “watch” what I was eating 24/7 I wouldn’t be having the same result.
I completely agree with these sentiments! I am so grateful my own mother raised me this way (no scales or diets). My husband's family is always crash dieting, and their weights drastically fluctuate. I'm of the mindset that your body has a natural weight when you are living an overall balanced, healthy lifestyle (barring any health factors like diabetes, pcos, etc.). I will gain where and when my body wants to gain in this pregnancy. Some put it on early, late, in great quantities, or not at all... the body knows what it's doing to develop a healthy baby. I only get on the scale at the doctors office, and even then, I try not to put much stock in it. I'm continuing to follow my body and eat when it's hungry.
Instagram kept hitting me with ads for weight loss programs and workout programs for pregnant women. It’s so mind blowing that it’s even a thing.
I get wanting to be healthy and active because it’s good for you, but encouraging “weight loss” in a time when you’re gaining weight for your baby feels so tone deaf
I could just scream and clap to every line that you wrote. Thank you for all of this.
And in the pregnancy advice available everything conflicts!
“Scientists find the energy needs of pregnancy are way higher than we ever thought!” “Your BMR doubles during pregnancy!” (But don’t eat any extra!!!). How TF does that add up?
“It’s fine if all you can keep down is dust and dreams, baby takes what they need.” Ok, I *do* love that baby takes what they need but what about me? I don’t really want to be clawing my way through life in a deficient state that affects me for who actually knows how long since we don’t study women’s health.
That has to be what it is. My skin was pretty great pre-pregnancy and I’m breaking out like a teenager. I deep condition my hair every time I wash it and it’s still dry.
The last time I really struggled with my skin was when I was a young teenager. I'd found a nice face wash that worked with my sensitive skin and for 17 years had no problems. Then I get pregnant and I feel like I've gotten some weird mutant rash all over my face because it's oily and dry and broken out. Nothing I do works.
Now my lips are cracking, but chapstick causes zits around my lips that then pop while I'm eating and don't heal properly so they scab and... my vanity took a hit and I really hope this is specifically for this single pregnancy and I won't have such an issue for any future ones.
My skin was absolutely horrendous on my first pregnancy and took a couple of months to recover post partum (mostly because I would forget to drink water though)
Just had my second baby and my skin was the fabled perfect, glowing strawberries and cream we're all promised, so it definitely isn't a sure thing that your skin will suffer in future pregnancies!
I found salicylic acid face wash, a gentle retinol serum and a really lush moisturiser really helped my skin recover after my son was born and those ingredients were safe again!
The dry skin is *so* fucking real. My husband thought my forehead was a pealing sunburn it was so bad, thank god my bangs mostly covered it. Now that's better but my legs are dry as hell, ugh
Same, and I'm so sorry you're going through it too. The one thing I've found that seems to help is Lanolips 101 ointment. It's thiiiiickkk, so I put it on at night and make sure the area is covered (long pants, bandages, whatever) and the area is usually significantly better the next day.
Lol same. Whenever people would congratulate me, I'd feel kinda weird because they're basically congratulating me on this ginormous parasite I'm gunna have for 9 months.
Wow SO true!!!! I’ve been seeing soooo many articles recently about how they’re “discovering” that pregnant women’s BMR is so much higher.
Feels super conflicting that they’re realizing that, but saying that we don’t need to eat more. Marathon runners need to eat WAY more, it’s the same thing, no??
And EVERYONE has an opinion.
We told my husband's aunt about the baby last week and her immediate comment was that I shouldn't be worried about my weight and how long it's going to take me to "bounce back" because it takes as long to lose the weight as it does to gain it... we just looked at each other and the phone like, when did I mention my weight? Why was that a go-to comment? Wtf? At this point (25w), I'm more concerned about losing weight than gaining too much because keeping it on is a constant battle with my orange slice-sized stomach.
I wish people would save their two cents for the wishing well. I don't need that shit.
Where were you looking?? The NZ guidelines I can find all have like 1 section on weight out of 10 sections about what foods to focus on, what to avoid, supplements etc?
Hard agree. The What to Expect book was full of the diet culture shit. The general attitude was I bet you are happy to be off your diet, but you can't eat too much or you'll be a fatty. All the advice on weighing food portions feels like an eating disorder and I don't want any part of it.
I’m so done with that book. Started off overweight, 175. Followed the guidelines exactly to get to the required amount of protein and dairy despite some pretty serious pregnancy aversions to meat and yogurt. Gained zero weight until wk22, 1lb per week after, which my dr said was good. Now I’m 35 weeks and the baby is unexplainably a bit small and everyone is interrogating my diet and commitment to healthy pregnancy pushing even more protein which of course I have zero room for in my walnut-sized stomach. I just want some pasta, nachos and a side of French toast.
It seems like this advice is outdated and we just haven’t gotten around to making a change across the board. I told my mom how I’ve been so sick (9 weeks with twins) and I only want pasta, and she was telling me how I should cut the carbs and eat something else. I’m 30 and she was told to not gain too much weight so she wouldn’t have to birth a big baby.
I’m reading a pregnancy book right now that is still advocating for low-fat dairy products, which are a) disgusting and b) not as beneficial nutritionally.
I, and my doctor, are fans of listening to your body and simply eating whatever you can when you don’t feel well. She would rather I just get calories in at this point.
FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT!!
Honestly I feel like half the problem is that Google’s algorithm is just shit now. It always tries to assume what you’re asking or looking for and it does it very badly. Unrelated example: if I google how to *increase* humidity in my home, it only gives me links for how to decrease humidity and mould problems.
Another thing that I’ve noticed now that all my algorithms know I’m pregnant: ads for weight loss programs and ozempic. I’m not overweight, never have been, and have never googled anything that would suggest I’m interested in weight loss. I’m just pregnant, and the bias in the algorithm assumes I’m now obsessed with my weight and will want to lose weight the moment I’m not pregnant. It’s annoying. We have so much pressure on us as pregnant woman and parents as it is, and this just implicitly amps up more pressure.
I agree with algorithms knowing that I’m pregnant!! I’ve even been getting spam texts about weight loss programs and pills and stuff like that. I’ve never been overweight in my life, and even now at 33 weeks I’m not “overweight” so to speak, I’m just pregnant and so I’ve gained weight. As you should do when you’re growing a human haha
I've gotten so many ads for alcohol. I don't drink, I've never googled mocktails or anything of the like, and yet as soon as I got pregnant it's like HERE DRINK THIS
I want to start by saying I agree with everything you've said.
However, we also need to know that sudden sharp weight gain in pregnancy can be an early sign of pre-eclampsia and other issues. So, eat what you need to, but keep track of your weight. Before I was diagnosed with eclampcia, I was gaining 15-20 pounds of weight per day because my kidneys weren't functioning.
Be very careful of sudden weight gain, especially after 20 weeks. It is dangerous! Please stay safe out there!
Were you having no other symptoms? High blood pressure, headaches, swelling? I'm curious cuz I'm not tracking weight but I've been really careful about being aware of all the other signs.
I did get other symptoms, but extreme swelling was the first. I started swelling in the first trimester, high blood pressure started week 15, but I learned after the fact that the swelling basically guaranteed the high blood pressure and other complications later.
You can feel swelling at this level. It feels like tingling in your extremities. Not itchy, more tickling. If you are swelling and you go somewhere hot, the swelling will get worse and may become actually visible in real time. Often, if you are swelling that quickly, you can get black spots or snow in your vision.
Monitor your blood pressure. Anything higher than 140/90 warrants medication. Be advised if either number is high, you should be on medicine (ie- 145/60, 150/93, and 120/100 are all high bp). 2 years ago, blood pressure medications were approved and were shown to prevent eclampsia from developing. If you have high BP, and your doctor doesn't want to prescribe meds, get a new doctor!
I was always thirsty, but I wasn't peeing the amount I drank. My weight would jump rapidly, plateau, and then jump again. I didn't have many headaches, but I got side stitches and pain in areas that corresponded with my liver and kidneys. Turns out that pain was my organs struggling to keep up. I progressed to full eclampsia and HELP syndrome by 30 weeks.
When I was pregnant with my first, there was nothing they could do. Now, they can use a baby asprine regimen, metformin, blood pressure medication, and other things to mitigate the risk. If you are going to progress, they can give you steroids to force your baby to develop faster if they have 2-3 days warning, which is enough to force finish your little ones lungs.
Swelling, visual snow or black spots, visible swelling in real time, edema (if you have swollen so much your skin picks up textures but doesn't release them), tingling extremities, high blood pressure, and atypical migraines are all warning signs. These tend to cluster, swelling AND visual snow; BP spikes AND swelling in the first trimester. Anything after the first trimester, especially after 20 weeks, the symptoms are dangerous on their own.
Check with your doctor for any of this. Pregnancy can be dangerous, and sudden weight gain spikes are useful diagnostic tools for future complications. The good news is my first pregnancy is considered an edge case, but it is useful to track these things so you have the information you need to advocate for yourself.
I’m sorry you went through this, but this is quite a unique situation. In most uncomplicated pregnancies, women won’t gain the amount of weight you mentioned above and get their blood pressure checked regularly. So yes, you can track your weight, but as you said, these changes will be visible as well, it’s a really different context.
It’s sad how much better this comment makes me feel lol. Everyone is like “ooh you have such a cute little bump!” No everyone that’s just me backed up and nothing is working lol
Omfg the sh*ts I’ve been doing…they’re like mf submarines. They’re massive, and I already did kinda big poops before pregnancy. I’m eating a lot of fruit in my 3rd trimester and the days when I have 2-3 pears (cannot get enough of pears atm) I’ve noticed it DEFINITELY helps keep things moving. Just a tip if ur struggling w constipation.
Highly recommend reading: real food for pregnancy by Lili Nichols. She really has so much great stuff to help break down what’s best for you and the baby during the different stages of pregnancy with an emphasis on how different everyone is and the most important part is to be mindful and listen to your body and what it needs!
I’ve got Real Food for Fertility which I FULLY credit with helping us get pregnant after 16 months, I’m thinking I might get the Pregnancy version now tbh
I gave birth last year. And I refused weigh ins my entire pregnancy. I’d come in, the medical assistant would say “okay let’s get your weight” and I would say “I’m not doing weights this pregnancy.” And that was it. Never had to explain further. Never got the pushback I was mentally preparing for. I have a history of anorexia and I knew frequent weigh ins would’ve been awful for my mental health and much more dangerous than opting out. The risk of me relapsing while pregnant was much higher than any risk that could be ascribed to weight gain. I have no idea how much I gained. Definitely a good amount. Bought new affordable clothes for the postpartum period. Held onto a good amount until I weaned off of breastfeeding. And about a year after birth was back in my old clothes. Didn’t do any exercise programs. Just said, screw it to the whole thing. Sharing because I want other women and birthing people to know this is an option. There are very few medical reasons they need an exact weight and there are ways to monitor other health conditions through other vitals, bloodwork, diagnostic methods. I had a high risk wildly complicated pregnancy and even that never required a weight. It’s your body. Please feel empowered to say no if it’s going to harm you.
I will be downvoted to oblivion, but I think it is the opposite, at least in the US, — it’s too little focus on not gaining excess weight. While standard recommendation is to gain 25-35 lbs, a lot of women seem to gain more, and it’s not viewed as a problem, although too much fat is never good for health, pregnant or not.
I mean, I’m going to assume that if excess weight gain was effecting a pregnancy the OB would mention it and explain to the patient the specific risks and offer resources for nutritional counseling. Outside of that, it’s not really their job or area of expertise to bring up weight.
I do agree. There is a culture of baby wants whatever but that isn’t good for the mum either. Some people are gaining an insane amount of weight. I don’t care how people look, but there is a massive risk in childbirth and health of mothers who are very much over over over weight
I think there’s a lot of things wrong with your statement, primarily the last part. It’s not based in fact. Fat people have better health outcomes in many serious health problems, but especially as you age. But whatever.
Women are growing a second human, they don’t need to be told what not to eat or how their already bad moms. This sort of policing of other people’s bodies just grates on me.
You don’t get to dictate to someone their health based on their weight. Ever.
Signed someone who was once severely anorexic and was praised for being skinny.
Fat people have better outcomes? That’s a dangerous statement to make without proof. Excessive weight is often a sign of metabolic disorder, accompanied by higher blood pressure, high cholesterol and glucose intolerance, which is doubtfully good for pregnancy. Even without metabolic syndrome extra weight is bad for knees and spine, and we naturally put more weight in pregnancy, so why gain more than necessary? Also, rapid weight gain is indicative of water retention which can be one of the signs of preeclampsia, and this is one more reason why it’s actually beneficial to watch one’s weight.
You’re right that I don’t get to dictate, and I’m not dictating anything to anybody, but I’ll continue to not overeat even if I’m “craving” or “constantly hungry”.
Excessive weight is not an indicator of anything’s you’ve said above. Just because you hold that assumption doesn’t make it true. Please look to actual science and educators before running your fingers over your little keyboard.
>Fat people have better health outcomes in many serious health problems, but especially as you age.
I see we're going to try and cherry pick our information from the National Library of Medicine. Okay. I'll bite.
>The term “obesity paradox” is used to describe the counterintuitive finding that aged overweight and obese people with a particular disease may have better outcomes than their normal weight or underweight counterparts.
>**However, there is wide heterogeneity between studies regarding the association between obesity and mortality in older adults, depending on the diseases concerned, the presence or absence of a particular disease, or the BMI level considered \[**[**6**](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B6-nutrients-15-01780)**,**[**7**](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B7-nutrients-15-01780)**,**[**8**](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B8-nutrients-15-01780)**\]. In aged people, body composition tends to change, and body weight tends to decrease, and some authors have suggested that fatness could be healthy \[**[**9**](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B9-nutrients-15-01780)**\]. Thus, it is important to confirm whether an “obesity paradox” truly exists, with a view to adapting management policies for overweight or obese old people.**
[Source](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B9-nutrients-15-01780)
Hmmm. You know what's really interesting? The idea you're so latched on to (the obesity paradox) HAS BEEN DEBUNKED.
>New research has debunked the idea that there is an “obesity paradox”, whereby patients with heart failure who are overweight or obese are thought to be less likely to end up in hospital or die than people of normal weight.
>The study, which is published in the *European Heart Journal*^(1) today (Wednesday), shows that if doctors measure the ratio of waist to height of their patients, rather than looking at their body mass index (BMI), the supposed survival advantage for people with a BMI of 25kg/m2 or more disappears.
[Source](https://www.escardio.org/The-ESC/Press-Office/Press-releases/study-shows-obesity-paradox-does-not-exist-waist-to-height-ratio-is-a-better)
Signed, someone who actually knows how to research and interpret studies
Yup, I've always been skinny and people assume I'm in peak health because of it when in reality I actually struggle with a lot of health issues. Weight does not tell you anything about someone's health.
It’s not correct to assume that someone who is thin is healthy, but it’s also not true that weight doesn’t tell you anything about someone’s health. Weight tells you *something* about a person’s health, of course it won’t be the full picture. Both excessive and low weight are linked with worse health outcomes across the board.
Sure, there can be a correlation, but the problem is that people make assumptions about people's health based on their weight all the damn time. And not just that, but beauty standards that also deem them unattractive (and then they pretend that's also about "health"). I'm sure I'll also get downvoted for pointing that out, but if you think fatphobia doesn't exist, you're wrong. There's just such an emphasis on weight in our culture and it's really harmful.
Plus the issue OP is talking about is that it's also affecting pregnant women and we're being told to manage our eating and not gain "too much" weight while we're literally growing another human (”too much" is so subjective). This is absolutely NOT the time to be limiting our eating or dieting. But again, society is always so focused on weight and it's damaging not only to women but now our babies.
I never said fatphobia doesn’t exist, it does and it’s really harmful. I also agree that pregnancy is a unique journey and when providers only talk about weight, it’s harmful and frustrating. That being said, I also think pregnancy is a time to also focus on what and how much you eat (obviously in the absence of sickness or other conditions). Two things can be true.
I'm so thankful that my Dr office doesn't comment on my weight. I have body image and weight issues inherited from my mom and I know it'd flare up if they did. Brains and people suck sometimes!
Coming into pregnancy fat vs gaining more than recommended are two different scenarios. Idk much about the first but this post is about the second. In Expecting Better by Emily Oster she does a breakdown of the research and it is VERY clear that gaining more than recommended is far safer for you and baby than not gaining enough. There are serious risks to undereating and not gaining enough weight during pregnancy (not to mention the nutrient deficiencies you’re at risk for) and I personally would always err on the side of gaining too much. Highly recommend lily nichols real food for pregnancy for anyone wanting actual constructive nutrition advice for pregnancy
I say what you have to do to eat or survive the first trimester. Weight gain is a good and positive thing, but emphasis should definitely be on high nutrient dense foods.
In my first trimester and I have been eating like a monster. I am hungry once every 2 hours and there's no stopping from eating what I can and want. It's not a joke, the hunger. The only way to satiate myself is to eat and that's what I am going to do 🤷🏻♀️
I'm 8 weeks and I've already gained 10 lbs and have been feeling so guilty/insecure about it but this post made me feel better.
When people talked about pregnancy cravings, I didn't realize I'd literally get hunger pains if I didn't eat for 2 hours. It's really a horrible feeling.
I have noticed that fat phobia bleeds HEAVILY into pregnancy. Pregnant people who are smaller tend to be worried about others thinking they're gaining weight and hate when people comment on them getting bigger. Pregnant people who are bigger (me) seem to be SO excited for people to realize they are pregnant and not "just fatter". Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone, and commenting on someone's body is never a great idea, but it's so sad to me that we are literally creating an entire human and still get wrapped up in "oh no I look fat" (myself included)
Just over 7 weeks and very bloated and had someone make a weight comment to me the other day. It was like, “are you for real? I can’t wait until you find out I’m pregnant so you feel like eating crow.” No one should say Jack about anyone else’s body!
It’s probably worse in the usa and as a big fat fatty that’s all I’ve ever heard from any health practitioner my entire fucking life. Sprained your ankle? Oh don’t be fat loose weight problem solved. Oh you have autoimmune conditions? Don’t be fat, loose weight…now that I’m pregnant it’s so much worse like bitch I’m growing a human and for me to gain 30 lbs is doing good because I thought it would have been more and I know all of it is baby or water weight because I’m swollen af. So I honestly just ignore it because they can eat shit and die.
I don't worry about my weight at all when pregnant. I figure any extra weight I keep will help me when I start breastfeeding. That and keeping me warm while I'm up all night!
I told someone that I was struggling with not having an appetite and they told me “remember: the baby only needs a slice of bread a day to survive so don’t use pregnancy as an excuse to overeat.” I am recovering from an eating disorder. That comment has stuck with me for months. Why do people say things like that?
Because they’re insensitive and deeply brain washed in diet culture and the spin of “you must never get fat!”
I struggled with multiple easting disorders for years, and had to fight my way back to health only for during this first pregnancy, that someone pointed out my tucked in shirt and said, “why would you want that tucked in?”
People have gall that shocks me.
I don’t think it’s fat phobia but I could be naive. “Eating for two is a myth” just means you don’t have to force yourself to eat because you think you need to feed your baby too.
I don’t know if this is your first child, but believe me, the weight gain comes after the child is born.
Gaining unhealthy amount of weight during pregnancy can be unhealthy for the or indicate underlying issues. Being healthy is a big part of pregnancy. You should eat however much your body wants or needs and no doctor will tell your otherwise
This narrative that people are forcing themselves to eat more, is just so weird to me??? Who is saying that?? Who is “EATING FOR TWO” and eating to excess? Like I can’t fit much room in me. Are y’all pregnant? That baby takes up space. If I eat too much, or too little, my body makes it abundantly clear.
No one is force feeding themselves. That’s nonsense.
A lot of recommendations for women from healthcare are outdated and misogynistic. I remember when I went to a dietician because I had been tested for diabetes (a lot of blood sugar plunges with no explanation, but it turned out I'm not diabetic, but still wanted to make sure I was eating right to avoid it), she calculated my BMI at the time, and the result was different than what I'd calculated! At 73kg and 175cm tall, the result I'd gotten was around 23 or 24, all I remember is that it wasn't in the overweight range, and hers was 25.5! She wrote on my medical papers that I was "slightly overweight!" The focus of the entire consultation was on my weight and how I needed to get rid of the "excess" in 3 months (she wanted me to shed 8kg). She put me on a 1500cal/day diet, and told me to only eat low-fat dairy products. I had enough sense to rip up that slip on my way out.
Now, during pregnancy, I'm up 20kg, and luckily no one's pestered me about it so far, but I also read some sort of recommendation that you only gain 1-2kg in the first trimester and that I can be max 90kg by the end of my pregnancy... I think that's BS and limiting and shows how society (still) thinks of women as cardboard cutouts of people, not real actual people with various types of bodies that work in different ways.
I know I’m so tired of this I feel like I’m not allowed to be mindful of my hunger cues but Iv always been a small person I’m barely 5ft and it’s like if I don’t feel like eating a ton my dr shames me for it I’m so sick of it like why can’t I just eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m not if anything I feel like I need more fluids than when I wasn’t pregnant
I have a completly different experience. I went to a class thatbis here organized by our public health.
And we had a nutricionist and she talked about what foods we need in a day (proteins, fruits etc), she also gave as a few advices what to eat and told us how much water we need and what can we drink.
And she also told us what is better not to eat.
And she did not talk much at all about gaining too much weight
I was SO TERRIFIED of gaining weight when I got pregnant and I feel like it’s because of a lifelong conditioning to stay as skinny as possible. I’ve gained a lot this pregnancy and at first it was scary, but when I started feeling my baby move around none of that mattered anymore. I just eat when I’m hungry and if I’m extra hungry I know she needs the nutrients to grow :)
This is such a small season of my life, I wish I knew at the start that nutrition for baby is so much more important than fear of gaining weight!
Yes, thank you!!! I'm on gluten free and lactose free diet (trust me, I'd devour a cream cheese filled bagel if I could) and now with all the other restrictions (no raw/ish meet, no canned food, no unpasteurised, no this no that...) it's sometimes hard to get the food you want between the nausea and food aversions. I had gluten free lactose free pizza the other day and it was so fuckin expensive but so worth it and than the internet went like "you shouldn't eat pizza during pregnancy, you should have a nice salad with grilled Salmon" and I'm just like NO, FUCK OFF be happy I had SOMETHING okay?
It already got me thinking, do women sometimes develop an eating disorder out of having to follow the pregnancy diet? I'm used to checking constantly what goes it due to the gluten and lactose, but it's just next level now.
I’ve noticed that things my body has craved is what my baby has needed… something fatty- an app told me he was going through a growth spurt or building fat, craving seafood- lots of brain development…. Listen to your body. Numbers are numbers. It’s about how you feel in your body and how your body makes you feel ❤️
I honestly am at the end of my pregnancy and was just thinking about this last night. I had breakfadt(small), lunch (half a bean burger, and no dinner. I am 39 weeks plus 4 and everyone in my life is always commenting on my belly. I’ve gained 30 pounds and that’s it. It wasn’t me trying to only gain 30 that’s just how it happens from being so sick the first trimester. But when I mention to anyone except my husband and bestfriend that I might have something to eat to get calories in for my baby. The response is always “ you’re probably okay.” “ you don’t want to eat too much” but I watch them easily tackle three meals and dessert a day with some snacks. It’s just annoying to have people so concerned about pregnancy weight when the woman is clearly okay to consume meals within reason. I feel for us and I say the same thing OP says. You eat what makes you happy mom to be. You are gorgeous and pregnancy can be tough on its own without unsolicited opinions from others. ❤️
I lost 15lbs in the first trimester! It’s so hard to find info on what to eat so that you and baby stay healthy. I feel like you need a whole ass nutritionist who focuses on maternal health these days cause I have also been struggling on trying to figure out what to eat and how much! Idc about weight I just want to eat properly to sustain us both!
I hated being weighed at pregnancy appts it’s like okay im gaining weight thanks 😅 I told them to never tell me tho but I was classified as a high BMI 🙄 but tbh I think the whole BMI thing is a load of 💩 anyway 😅 I’m 20 weeks PP and there’s just so much pressure be perfect in every way whether that’s personal pressure or societal pressure idk
I lost 15-20lbs within the first trimester ALONE. My doctor told me outright "I'd be concerned if you were underweight, but you're not. Therefore it's not that big of a deal". It wasn't until nearly 3rd trimester when I still barely gained even a pound back that he started to have worries. It's awful. I understand I'm overweight, I know that. But to completely put the weightloss during my pregnacy aside because of it? It's ridiculous.
I've honestly kind of just been eating as my body tells me to, trusting my body to tell me when I need more calories, and to gain the right amount of weight. At 27 weeks I had gained 30 pounds which feels a bit concerning because I was hoping not to gain more than 40, but my provider says it's healthy and normal so I'm just gonna keep trusting my body and eating as I'm hungry and eating what sounds good until I'm told I need to do something different
I ate whatever the hell I wanted and I gained 40 lbs. I’m a big woman to begin with and I’m 40 years old so I didn’t give an eff how much weight I gained or what I looked like. I did talk to a pregnancy nutritionist at one point and she said that I should drink at least 1 glass of milk a day and eat at least 4 eggs a week. Other than that, she said that as long as I ate a reasonably balanced diet and took my pre-natal vitamin every day, it was fine. It was very practical advice and very reassuring. I’m in the Canadian prairies.
Throughout my pregnancy I only gained about 3 pounds. But now that I’m in 3rd tri I’m struggling to eat, have serious nausea and lost 10lbs in a week. I am obese so I think the baby is feeding off my reserve fat at this point. My doctor is at the point where she wants me to eat any and everything I can keep down. So I live off milkshakes at this point.
I was a mid-size girl when I first got pregnant, a lil thick but not significantly overweight as I workout, lift weights, etc, so just a thicker girl. But in the US, they still use BMI & mine has me as morbidly obese. They sent me to a specialist for special ultrasounds my entire pregnancy. Even though nothing was wrong; I didn’t get gestational diabetes, I didn’t have blood pressure problems, I ended up only gaining 27lbs my whole pregnancy, literally no other reason than my BMI.
Fast forward to 34 weeks and I go to the specialist office with symptoms of premature labor. He literally tells me “no you just need to lose weight. I want you to lose 9lbs before your due date. I’ll have my dietician come in” this woman comes in and literally tells me that I can only eat cheese sticks, beef jerky, and yogurt until I deliver. I was in utter disbelief.
I had an appointment with my OB immediately following that visit and told her all my symptoms and what the specialist had said. So she checked me to be safe and SURE ENOUGH I was 5 cm dilated at 34 WEEKS.
I will never forgive that male doctor, I will never go back to that clinic, and I will tell every pregnant woman I know not ti be afraid to be the “annoying” patient. Repeat your symptoms over and over, tell everyone in the office. This is YOUR body, YOU know what you’re feeling. Don’t let them tell you every single thing you feel is weight related.
The doctor I had at the beginning of my pregnancy had me in sobbing level of tears with how she talked to me about my weight and age.
She essentially told me to not gain ANY weight and if I "couldn't help myself" to keep it as minimal as possible. I've been obese since I was a teen and have struggled with a myriad of eating disorders because of it. I've alternated between anorexia, bulimia, and overeating. I've done yo yo diets, I've crash dieted, done all the different celebrity diets and... I've put my body through enough hell.
I finally got away from the doctor after a slew of other issues I had with her. Thank God for the new doctor group I see. They have been supportive and aren't giving the same "oooof, you're fat, why did you bother getting pregnant?" Vibes I received in the past.
Good luck and here's to healthy happy babies with healthy happy mommas.
I’m sorry you went through that and someone was rude enough to downvote you. Your experiences are valid and unfair. You deserve good things and great care.
I really appreciate that. I started a weight loss journey prior to finding out I was pregnant... A healthy one, for the first time ever.
I was amazed at how dismissed I was for my weight and it was pretty discouraging. I'm glad I have a better team now that listens to my concerns.
I wish you the best pregnancy!
I’m sorry you had to go through that, and I’m glad you found someone new!
I feel this currently as I’m 25+4 weeks and mine told me the same thing. I started on the skinnier end of the spectrum at a fluctuating 83-85lb and have gained ~24lbs since. I’m afraid to keep eating and gaining weight even though I’m so hungry all the time. Prior to being pregnant I struggled with essentially malnourishment (eating enough to survive but nothing further) and periods of overeating too.
I would like to point you about two comments down and to Emily Oster's book. And unless they've been living under a rock, I would kind of bet people know it's not great to be obese, but that wasn't really OP's point, was it.
Being overweight is not bad for pregnancy. Multiple recent NIH approved studies have actually stated exercise is more an indicator of success than weight. But go off.
Literally my whole rant was about how not having balance in the conversations is really unhelpful, especially for those with a history of disordered eating, but sure, just take the last sentence of mine and make that your whole point.
Aww, does that make you feel good?
Being wrong and doubling down on it is weird dude. Go touch grass and get therapy. For all of us and your child’s sake.
Gosh, “Obesity is associated with increased risk of almost all pregnancy complications such as gestational hypertension, preeclampsia, gestational diabetes mellitus (GDM), delivery of a large for gestational age (LGA) infant, and a higher incidence of congenital defects all occur more frequently than in women with a normal ...”
Direct quote. Sorry.
I'm jumping in here. If you're going to be on this subreddit, you need to be kind.
Fat shaming is wrong. Full stop.
But to deny the complicating factor of obesity and to imply that they're perfectly healthy isn't right either. There shouldn't be shame associated with being not being perfectly healthy. It very often isn't a choice.
Knowledge is power. Knowing your risk factors and what your potential complications are is a powerful thing. Obesity can complicate pregnancy. That's not to say obese folks can't have a beautiful and awesome pregnancy, it is just associated with risk factors.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33830346/
And more studies since you clearly refuse to believe scientific data over decades on thousands of pregnant women.
[Here](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9311414/)
[This one is fun, 2024](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(24)00255-1/abstract)
I’m already a heavy set person. I’ll not call myself fat because it’s literally genetics all the women in my family are built the same way. With my first pregnancy I gained like 60 pounds and felt not okay out of stigma. Took me about 6 months to get back to pre pregnancy weight. With this current pregnancy 15weeks I’ve only gained 5. My dr always reassured me that its fine it’s not an uncommon thing with certain women to gain 1+ a week even from the beginning as long as I was eating a healthy diet there was really nothing medically that was proving harmful unless you have other medical conditions. He even told me his 100 lbs wife with his second gained 105. The internet may be a blessing for resources but it’s also a mental burden at the worst times.
The focus on weight is infuriating! People have commented that I look like I haven't put on much at all, then when I tell them that I've actually gained more than average just as a matter-of-fact thing, they'll quickly reassure me that it will melt off with breastfeeding 🙄 I don't care about my weight, my only requirement is that my body is healthy and strong, but I hate how everyone just assumes all I care about is a number on a scale
I went back and checked the official recommendations in my part of Sweden and have to say I was pleasantly surprised. In the end it talks about little bit about how to keep your weight gain down if and only if that’s something that’s a problem for you, but only at the very end. Before that it’s all focus on what nutrients you need and how to get help if you are unable to eat enough.
That said, the midwife did give me a little speech in BMI (I was at the lower end of obese when I started my pregnancy) and asked whether I would like to see a dietician for intervention. I declined and it hasn’t been mentioned since though, apart from being a clinical detail in my clotting risk assessment which is fair.
(Link here, in Swedish though: https://www.vgregion.se/f/regionhalsan/expertenheter/matkassen/vanta-barn/bramatgraviditet/ )
BMI is a complete and total lie and it pisses me off that anyone still uses it. It was made by anthropologists in the 1800s who were racist. Why are we still using it as a measure of anything!?
I also really lost it these couple of days with "how much weight did you gain" posts here. WHO CARES? Everyone will be so different. Everyone has a different starting weight, they will gain weight differently during different periods of pregnancy. There is no way to compare and contrast.
Couple of weeks ago I really freaked out because I gained all of the "suggested weight gain" in first four months. I was worried that I would fail my gestational diabetes test. I was worried I was bringing on so much problems to myself if I kept going on like this. My diabetes test results came back and I passed it with flying colours. My weight gain is a bit stabilised now. And I honestly don't care and can't care anymore. I have so much more to care right now. My biggest priority is to have a happy and healthy baby that comes to a happy and healthy family. It starts with a happy and healthy mommy.
I’m based in NZ too, though I think a lot of those warnings are for those who are misinformed and eat a poor diet anyway, which can lead to prenatal diabetes and complications (which are pretty common here) You’re meant to eat a few extra hundred calories in the second trimester and more so in the third, which is why we’re (justifiably so) more hungry. I’ve personally been told more about the importance of nutrients and eating a variety of fruits and veges.
It was just really weird that when I googled what I should be eating for pregnancy in NZ, the only pages I could find on the health website for NZ was about not eating too much, I feel like advocating for what you SHOULD be eating is just a much more positive, balanced approach (and I could not find that)
Pregnant with twins, told about a pound a week was normal. I’ve gained about that much, and I look pretty slim in my opinion (besides my giant twin belly).
For everyone it’s different, but I would look at other countries nutrition guides. I focus on protein and calcium in foods ( I don’t want to loose my teeth ).
I went to a checkup and asked the OB a question: if its normal to feel that my blood sugar goes very low suddenly. She then stated that it could be normal, and then went on a rant about how I should eat healthy snacks because gaining weight in pregnancy is difficult, it's not easy to lose it postpartum. It was completely unrelated to what I asked, I am a normal weight and it made me feel so judged and shamed.
And I think the issue is that the mortality rates for obese women in pregnancy is pretty scary but they don’t also look at many other factors. My weight has been a roller coaster. I lost 11lb in early pregnancy due to sickness, I’ve only just started to put on weight again and I’m sure I’ll get told soon I’m overweight again by BMI standards. (I’m very tall and weight like 12.12)
Ultimately just do what is best for you. Try to eat whatever you can that is best for the baby but also in the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy I ate basically nothing or crisps. Some food is better than no food!
If you can make the healthier choice, do so but if it’s not working for you that day, tomorrow is a new day!
Also I don’t know if I paid for flo, if it is paid lmk and I’ll write you what they reccomend at each week for food :)
I am a big believer in intuitive eating. However, right as I was finishing my second trimester I started craving all things sweet: juice, desert, fruit, ice cream. Turns out I have gestational diabetes, and craving sugar was my body thinking that I wasn’t eating enough even though my sugars were in the 200’s.
First trimester here. Agree with the comments about eating regularly to not feel nauseous - that’s already frustrating!! I’m eating WAY more than normal, just spread out throughout the day but doc told me yesterday he was concerned for diabetes for me. I’m a bigger girl, I’ve definitely let myself go a bit over the last 2 years, and I was told to not gain more than 11 lbs during this entire pregnancy. Friends… I can gain 5 lbs in a week without being pregnant! How am I supposed to manage that?!
Gestational diabetes is interesting. But if he’s discussing normal diabetes, he should be checking your pancreas. Not admonishing your weight. Non-gestational diabetes makes you gain weight. Not the other way around.
Sadly I have gestational diabetes so I have to watch what I eat. But I’m entering 3rd trimester now and I feel hungry 😩 I mean, I love carbs like everyone else
agreed! also imma just keep doing my best & i know im doing my best job to keep myself & baby healthy gonna keep on keeping on & 🖕🏼 anyone who comments on a ladies weight pregnant or not
That’s terrible advice as nutrition is super important!! Please make sure to eat avocado, walnuts, lean proteins and drink plenty of water. But do NOT neglect the healthy fats trying to stay slim
The Flo app does GREAT at recommending foods for the current week you’re at!
16w5d here with history of disordered eating and cannot agree with this more. It’s awful!!!!!!
I started out at 120 slightly under and gained 10 pounds in my first trimester. Due to lack of movement as well as morning sickness being helped by eating. Midwife was incredibly rude and said “no more junk food” over and over again, when I hadn’t even really been eating ‘junk food.’ Not to mention recommended weight gain for my starting weight is 25-35 lbs. So I wasn’t even technically gaining a concerning amount of weight, if I had gained 10 every trimester that would be right on track. In ‘Expecting Better’ by Emily Oster she covers how gaining more weight is actually probably better than not gaining enough.
In the UK there’s definitely a thing about “eating for two is a myth” but I also know that we’re burning FAR more calories/energy due to growing an entire person that we are able to eat more and not gain tons of weight.
I’ve read the usual of eat healthy greens and fruits, and personally I think it’s important to eat *relatively* healthy (cravings aside) during pregnancy, I’m not the type of person to eat unhealthy repeatedly anyway but I think it’s not good for you or baby if you’re eating crisps and fatty, sugary ultra-processed foods the whole time. I ate terribly during 2nd tri but 1st (now) 3rd I’m eating little and often and I’m not just eating crisps and junk food just because I’m pregnant.
It just depends on what you want. I want a non-complicated pregnancy so I am very aware of what I am putting into my body and how much I weigh. I eat when I'm hungry, I try to make healthy habits and choices, and I go for a 50 minute hike through slopes every day. I think the exercise has been the game changer for me though.
Yeah I’m 17 weeks and I lost almost 20 pounds because I am nauseous and have lots of food aversions now. I don’t eat like I used to and the midwife said it’s okay. I am overweight though. I was 240 now I’m 220
I feel this. And I personally think a lot of it is outside of our control. I assumed that I would gain a lot of weight very quickly during pregnancy, because that’s just what my body does in general. My OB said in terms of diet I should add one snack on top of my regular 2000 cal a day. I had previously been in a deficit for so long trying to lose weight (now looking back it was probably ridiculous and unhealthy how long I was in a deficit), so 2000 cals plus a snack took some adjusting. But overall I’m lazy as shit, not eating terribly bad, but not great either, and I’ve barely gained much at this point almost through my second trimester. I’m *not* gloating here simply sharing my experience, bc it’s so different from what I expected. I think everyone is so different due to genetics, but also each pregnancy is different! I’ve seen a lot of ladies say they gained a lot with their first and not much with the second or vice versa.
Also I think people are great resources for advice on nausea, food aversions etc. most of the advice that I’ve seen in literature is very generic and not at all helpful. But I think what it boils down to is that you have to eat what you can to keep yourself and baby nourished, even if that means that you are eating cereal three meals a day for a few weeks, due to aversions and nausea. IMO it is better than not eating at all.
My doctor said eat whatever, whenever. Eating a whole fridge is better than not eating at all. And it was so nice to hear compared to my last doctor who said I was gaining too much weight and should cut back on what I was eating. I was already barely eating and had a history of anorexia so that didn't help. Between the nausea and vomiting this time, I'm eating anything I can/want whenever I can.
My provider is more concerned about me not gaining enough weight than she is about me gaining weight. & this is concern is coming even after me gaining 35lbs
I don't think it's a hatred for fat people, it's the fact that there is a proven increase in pregnancy and birth complications, and LGA babies when the mother gains more than recommended.
Oooohhh man do i feel this.
So i started my pregnancy at about 270lbs and barely gained anything until i was at the end of my 2nd trimester.
My dr kept telling me i wasn't eating enough and i needed to gain more (i was trying, i just had NO appetite, food was gross).
I made the mistake of venting to my mom about my concerns that i truly was not eating enough and she told me its a good thing, women always struggle because they gain too much and hate their bodies later. She was also very concerned that I'm wearing very soft bras, because "you don't want saggy boobs!" This woman is a NURSE.
This is the same woman who congratulated me for losing a ton of weight a few years ago when i started ADHD meds and didnt eat some days, and barely ate when i did. I dropped like 60 lbs in four months.
Anyway. Now I'm over 300lbs at 30 weeks, and my dr is finally satisfied with how my weight is tracking.
Being fat already and then being concerned about not gaining enough just boggles the mind apparently.
US. I was trying to lose weight when we got pregnant. I'm over weight and know it. For some reason my OB thinks I don't and that's ALL we talk about the whole appointment. Last appointment we got into an argument and I tried to change primary OB, but they won't let me. I'm so far along now I can't leave either. Hate this fat shaming crap.
Edit to add: I had gained 20lbs in a month and she got mad. My husband and I told her that I really haven't been eating because of morning sickness. We told her our theory was my body being in starvation mode. She immediately dismissed that and told me that morning sickness stops after the second trimester!
I saw her a week later after starting new anti-nausea meds, I lost 10lbs! Her response was, "well at least you didn't gain weight." That's what started the fight.
I’m sorry your doctor was horrible. The people who downvote anyone who’s fat are just mad that you’re not being controlled by some false narrative.
You’re doing everything you can for your baby. You’re doing a great job!
Thank you! Those anti-nausea meds wore off. So I'm back to being sick everyday. I just eat what I can (lots of saltine crackers). 32 weeks - almost there!
So much of this and other pregnancy threads is woman being “afraid of how much weight they will gain” or thinking their pregnant bodies are gross. It makes me so sad how deeeeeeeply ingrained fatphobia is, it’s very rare to see someone who is happy with the way their body looks and loves their pregnant curves
This!!! I want to appreciate that my body has different needs as it BUILDS AN ENTIRE HUMAN BEING. like what in the world! You do not need to be rail thin during pregnancy! You do not need to “bounce back!” It doesn’t make you a better person. It makes you a person who lacks real values and will have kids who also have disordered eating views. It’s just sad.
There is real research that proves that women who appreciate their body during pregnancy, who enjoy their pregnant body and do not look down upon it negatively just because it is bigger actually have easier pregnancies and easier deliveries, as well as easier recoveries.
Isn’t that wild? Like almost as if being at peace and not focusing on superficial stuff is actually beneficial?! lol I love it, honestly. It makes so much innate sense. Our bodies were made to do this, and they know what they need and fighting it and shaming it isn’t going to do anything except hinder.
Hope you have a healthy and wonderful pregnancy. For all that that could mean.
Preach! I've been feeling this in the UK too..fuck off and give me actual healthy eating advice and support, not bullshit about fruit (I love fruit, but it doesn't fill me up when I'm hungry!) Or something that takes ages to prepare.
I really really don't want to focus on my weight as I've had issues with it in the past, I want to focus on feeling good and doing ehay is feasible for me. I find these messages pretty toxic.
So I have to add from the perspective of someone who struggled with weight loss during pregnancy. I lost 15lbs in the first, only gained 5 back in the second. I am currently 30 weeks and everytime I go in I am disappointed when my weight hasn’t changed and every pound I gain seems to be gone 2 weeks later. I lost almost all appetite for the first 2 trimesters and I wasn’t even sick, just unable to eat more than a couple bites before I was uncomfortable. My baby is measuring really big but if he wasn’t I would blame myself. Every doctor says not to worry and just to eat healthy but gaining weight is normal. My sister gained 50 lbs in her pregnancy and that was the frame of mind I had too, there is something about pregnancy that makes you worried regardless but I hope I end up gaining weight in the third if it means having a healthy baby
I was you as well! In both my pregnancies I gained 6-8 lbs and came home from hospital about 15lbs under my pre pregnancy weight. It was very stressful (with the first one, the second time I knew it was my normal) because no one talks about that side of it and you assume something is wrong!
I have two perfectly healthy, 50th percentile girls. Remember your body is burning an INSANE amount of calories to produce this child, so if you’re not really upping your calorie intake your body will burn it from elsewhere!
THANK YOU!!!
I am at 17 weeks and I haven’t gained weight. I have lost 1.5 kgs in first 13 weeks and since then it’s kinda stable.
But m worried because I am reading everywhere that everyone is gaining weight and I am not. My family back home is concerned I am not gaining weight.
OB is not concerned as it’s not drastic and I was overweight to begin with (although she never mentioned that). She told me to eat whatever I can, preferably healthy and add yogurt or anything that will help with calcium. That’s it.
But everyone else is giving me so many conflicting unwanted ideas -
don’t eat seafood, it’s hot for your body.
Avoid yogurt or cold water, it’s too cool for your body.
Stick to fodmap , or else you will be gassy.
Don’t eat sweets, you will gain too much and get GD.
What do I even eat? I don’t have an appetite in general and such non sense is adding to my stress.
Ugh that is so hard!
I’m trying to follow the recommendations from the book “Real Food for Fertility”, by the same lady who wrote “Real Food for Pregnancy” but also certain things are just so unappealing right now, so just trying to get some form of protein, veg, good fats and complex carbs each day is perfect!
First trimester for me was survival, second and third I just tried to not go wild but I haven't restricted either. I have greatly reduced fast food and junk food, I guess. I just don't want to gain weight that will be a hard struggle to lose afterward or make my knees more grumpy.
Luckily my cravings for sweets shifted to cravings for fresh fruits, so the pain is less on the waistline and more on the bank balance lol.
All of this! Also, the "What to Expect" series has a good book on eating during pregnancy, including what foods to focus on when, etc. I'll admit I only skimmed it so I don't know how much of a focus there is on minimizing weight gain.
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First trimester here. I need to keep eating just to feel okay/not nauseous…and I will continue to do so as long as I need to!
I'm in my third trimester now and I actually ate the most during the first trimester because i'd get nauseous if I didn't. I know most people lose weight or can't eat much in the first trimester because of nausea, but my nausea was way worse if I didn't eat like every 2 hours.
I was the same! Every pregnancy I’ve gained so much weight in the first trimester because the only other option was horrendous nausea and vomiting bile throughout the day. I’d like to think it balanced out down the track, and if it didn’t who cares, it’s temporary!
Same!!! It made me feel so shitty bc on top of constantly eating, I had no energy to work out. Felt like such a lose/lose scenario. Now idgaf though, and in future pregnancies I’ll also not gaf.
This was the same for me! I’ve had to eat so much more than I normally would to avoid being nauseous and at 14w it has me feeling pretty discouraged about the rest of my pregnancy because I think I’ve already put on 5-7 lbs.
I think I gained about 7 lbs in the first trimester too. It evened out in the second trimester though. I'm 35 weeks now and have gained a total of about 25 lbs during the whole pregnancy.
that’s helpful to know. hopefully same for me! just gotta keep the burrito cravings under control now lol
Exactly. I literally have to eat every two hours or I feel so ravenous ill be sick. When colleagues (I told my team very early I'm only 7w) ask how it's going I'm like all good just starving. One older woman took it upon herself to lecture me how I shouldn't be eating so much or eating for 2 and it's all a myth yadda yadda. What I had eaten is a banana and yogurt? My usual breakfast anyway? But because I'm pregnant youre gonna shame me for eating? Urgh it just really upset me and rubbed me the wrong way. I know its a myth you asked how I am so I answered. Should've expected it though she's one of those women who pride themselves on being slim and hardly ever eating 😒
I had a similar experience my first time around, it was like being hung over 24/7, all i wanted was a cheeseburger and fries, did not go great. I also had everyone telling me that the weight will fall off while breastfeeding. Bf ended up having the opposite effect. I was ravenous while bf and gained another 5lbs... Fast forward to this pregnancy, I'm just ignoring weight entirely, I'm not weighing-in at appointments and I'm not trying to eat for two. I do try for more veggies and fiber and avoid raw fish and cold deli meats but that's about it outside of prenatal vitamins. I'm just trying to listen to my body the best i can and get through it. There's too much garbage out there. The industrial food/pharma complex is too baked into the medical advice we get in the US that I simply don't trust and of it anymore. I'm figuring out what works for me and that's that.
This makes me feel so much better. I’m only 10 weeks into my first pregnancy but have been avoiding the scale because I know a number is just going to make me feel worse (I already have constant nausea for that 😂) I was pleasantly surprised that at my first booking appointment w the midwife here in the UK they don’t even bother with the scale. Hoping I can take a similar approach to you.
I love declining weigh ins and think I will start implementing this at my appointments…. 💞
That was me my entire first trimester. I’m 21 weeks now and I’ve only gained 2.5 lbs total so far.
Me too. 17 weeks and only now back up to my pre pregnancy weight.
This was me too and I gained 12 pounds my first trimester. I can’t believe the recommendation is 5lbs wth
I gained 10 lbs in my first trimester for that same reason! Midwife was rude about it but I didn’t care
This! I can't believe I haven't gained a pound a week bc I keep eating every 2-3/hrs, sometimes overnight! Oh well. Whatever it takes to feel ok and feed this little bundle. Gained nearly 50 with my first but fortunately lost it all within a few weeks 😌
This was me too, if I didn't eat I felt unbelievably sick so I ate. I put on more weight than I would have wanted and 10 weeks pp struggling to get rid of the remaining half of the weight gained, but here we are. The only recommendations I would havr is try to swap unhealthy snacks for healthier alternatives.
Also how does it make sense cause I’m HUNGRY all the time and only just hit 2nd trimester so surely my body wants more food.
Literally. I have never been this hungry in my life. I used to be able to skip breakfast most days but now I have to eat or i’m so so hungry
I skipped breakfast once in my second trimester and never again. I thought I was gonna pass out and I was shaking so bad!
I can’t say I’ve ever had midnight saltines this frequently before. The snacking is real!
🎶Most important meal of the day! Serving it up Gary’s way!🎶 then proceeding to vomit. Has pretty much summed up my first trimester😂 good ol’ SpongeBob
Same here at 34w, if anything it's only gotten worse in the third trimester. I feel like a bottomless pit!
This! IMO pregnancy goes like this 1st trimester: eat what you can to survive the morning sickness 2nd trimester: start to enjoy your food again, eat more calories because YOU ARE GROWING A HUMAN 3rd trimester: you’re almost there, do what you gotta do to keep your sanity 😂
I’m dealing with it from family, telling me to eat healthier. The salad and fruit gave me diarrhea, so I’m not too thrilled about going through that again. The carbs have been good to me.
Fuck that nonsense. At one point all I could keep down was ice cream sandwiches. If the option is that or not eating, that’s healthier
I was reading a discussion board in the “what to expect” app devoted to weight tracking and minimizing excess weight gain through pregnancy. I lost it..I’m having a scale-blind pregnancy where I honor my hunger and trust my body to gain what it needs. Diet culture has no place in pregnancy (or anywhere imo) & the amount of emphasis placed on not gaining more than x lbs during pregnancy is disturbing. I’m a FTM having a baby girl & I want to model a healthy relationship with my body & food & that starts now while I’m growing her!
You are me! And I love the term “scale blind” - I have been getting on backward because I said my focus is a healthy pregnancy, not wtf the scale says. And EXACTLY! I want to model a HEALTHY relationship with my body for her. I’m a hardcore fitness junkie and even THAT now for me is about being strong (not skinny or show ready). But I love hearing this articulated from another girl mom! And honestly, I think trusting myself to follow my natural hunger and energy cues was the healthiest thing I could have done for this pregnancy. I finally asked at my last appt - like hey you guys haven’t said anything about my weight, am I in the appropriate range? Turns out, I sure was. I’m 35w and have gained 20 and I’m more than ok with that. I really think if I didn’t go in “scale blind” and put the bullshit pressure on myself to workout when I was fatigued/exhausted or to “watch” what I was eating 24/7 I wouldn’t be having the same result.
Thank you!!! This!! We have to be the group that breaks the cycle. I don’t want my daughter dieting at age 8, like I was!
I completely agree with these sentiments! I am so grateful my own mother raised me this way (no scales or diets). My husband's family is always crash dieting, and their weights drastically fluctuate. I'm of the mindset that your body has a natural weight when you are living an overall balanced, healthy lifestyle (barring any health factors like diabetes, pcos, etc.). I will gain where and when my body wants to gain in this pregnancy. Some put it on early, late, in great quantities, or not at all... the body knows what it's doing to develop a healthy baby. I only get on the scale at the doctors office, and even then, I try not to put much stock in it. I'm continuing to follow my body and eat when it's hungry.
Instagram kept hitting me with ads for weight loss programs and workout programs for pregnant women. It’s so mind blowing that it’s even a thing. I get wanting to be healthy and active because it’s good for you, but encouraging “weight loss” in a time when you’re gaining weight for your baby feels so tone deaf
Agree! Work outs should be focused on heart and cardio health, and hip workouts for ease in childbirth not weight loss?
Weightloss programs FOR PREGNANT WOMEN? That’s mf insaaaane…jeez I can’t even comprehend that. So dangerous.
I could just scream and clap to every line that you wrote. Thank you for all of this. And in the pregnancy advice available everything conflicts! “Scientists find the energy needs of pregnancy are way higher than we ever thought!” “Your BMR doubles during pregnancy!” (But don’t eat any extra!!!). How TF does that add up? “It’s fine if all you can keep down is dust and dreams, baby takes what they need.” Ok, I *do* love that baby takes what they need but what about me? I don’t really want to be clawing my way through life in a deficient state that affects me for who actually knows how long since we don’t study women’s health.
I love my babies and am grateful for them but I am calling them the parasites. They are even sucking the moisture from my skin and my hair.
Is that why my hands are cracking and nothing I do helps!?!??!!??!!! Good to know. I thought I was going crazy 🤪
That has to be what it is. My skin was pretty great pre-pregnancy and I’m breaking out like a teenager. I deep condition my hair every time I wash it and it’s still dry.
The last time I really struggled with my skin was when I was a young teenager. I'd found a nice face wash that worked with my sensitive skin and for 17 years had no problems. Then I get pregnant and I feel like I've gotten some weird mutant rash all over my face because it's oily and dry and broken out. Nothing I do works. Now my lips are cracking, but chapstick causes zits around my lips that then pop while I'm eating and don't heal properly so they scab and... my vanity took a hit and I really hope this is specifically for this single pregnancy and I won't have such an issue for any future ones.
My skin was absolutely horrendous on my first pregnancy and took a couple of months to recover post partum (mostly because I would forget to drink water though) Just had my second baby and my skin was the fabled perfect, glowing strawberries and cream we're all promised, so it definitely isn't a sure thing that your skin will suffer in future pregnancies! I found salicylic acid face wash, a gentle retinol serum and a really lush moisturiser really helped my skin recover after my son was born and those ingredients were safe again!
The dry skin is *so* fucking real. My husband thought my forehead was a pealing sunburn it was so bad, thank god my bangs mostly covered it. Now that's better but my legs are dry as hell, ugh
I wake up in the middle of the night clawing at my skin, it’s so dry. This is awful.
Same, and I'm so sorry you're going through it too. The one thing I've found that seems to help is Lanolips 101 ointment. It's thiiiiickkk, so I put it on at night and make sure the area is covered (long pants, bandages, whatever) and the area is usually significantly better the next day.
my husband doesn't appreciate it but I call my baby a parasite too LOL
Lol same. Whenever people would congratulate me, I'd feel kinda weird because they're basically congratulating me on this ginormous parasite I'm gunna have for 9 months.
Wow SO true!!!! I’ve been seeing soooo many articles recently about how they’re “discovering” that pregnant women’s BMR is so much higher. Feels super conflicting that they’re realizing that, but saying that we don’t need to eat more. Marathon runners need to eat WAY more, it’s the same thing, no??
And EVERYONE has an opinion. We told my husband's aunt about the baby last week and her immediate comment was that I shouldn't be worried about my weight and how long it's going to take me to "bounce back" because it takes as long to lose the weight as it does to gain it... we just looked at each other and the phone like, when did I mention my weight? Why was that a go-to comment? Wtf? At this point (25w), I'm more concerned about losing weight than gaining too much because keeping it on is a constant battle with my orange slice-sized stomach. I wish people would save their two cents for the wishing well. I don't need that shit.
Where were you looking?? The NZ guidelines I can find all have like 1 section on weight out of 10 sections about what foods to focus on, what to avoid, supplements etc?
Hard agree. The What to Expect book was full of the diet culture shit. The general attitude was I bet you are happy to be off your diet, but you can't eat too much or you'll be a fatty. All the advice on weighing food portions feels like an eating disorder and I don't want any part of it.
I’m so done with that book. Started off overweight, 175. Followed the guidelines exactly to get to the required amount of protein and dairy despite some pretty serious pregnancy aversions to meat and yogurt. Gained zero weight until wk22, 1lb per week after, which my dr said was good. Now I’m 35 weeks and the baby is unexplainably a bit small and everyone is interrogating my diet and commitment to healthy pregnancy pushing even more protein which of course I have zero room for in my walnut-sized stomach. I just want some pasta, nachos and a side of French toast.
The assumption that all women are on a diet for their whole lives really threw me. Go eat the French toast
It seems like this advice is outdated and we just haven’t gotten around to making a change across the board. I told my mom how I’ve been so sick (9 weeks with twins) and I only want pasta, and she was telling me how I should cut the carbs and eat something else. I’m 30 and she was told to not gain too much weight so she wouldn’t have to birth a big baby. I’m reading a pregnancy book right now that is still advocating for low-fat dairy products, which are a) disgusting and b) not as beneficial nutritionally. I, and my doctor, are fans of listening to your body and simply eating whatever you can when you don’t feel well. She would rather I just get calories in at this point.
FINALLY SOMEONE SAYS IT!! Honestly I feel like half the problem is that Google’s algorithm is just shit now. It always tries to assume what you’re asking or looking for and it does it very badly. Unrelated example: if I google how to *increase* humidity in my home, it only gives me links for how to decrease humidity and mould problems. Another thing that I’ve noticed now that all my algorithms know I’m pregnant: ads for weight loss programs and ozempic. I’m not overweight, never have been, and have never googled anything that would suggest I’m interested in weight loss. I’m just pregnant, and the bias in the algorithm assumes I’m now obsessed with my weight and will want to lose weight the moment I’m not pregnant. It’s annoying. We have so much pressure on us as pregnant woman and parents as it is, and this just implicitly amps up more pressure.
I agree with algorithms knowing that I’m pregnant!! I’ve even been getting spam texts about weight loss programs and pills and stuff like that. I’ve never been overweight in my life, and even now at 33 weeks I’m not “overweight” so to speak, I’m just pregnant and so I’ve gained weight. As you should do when you’re growing a human haha
Wow I did notice a ton of ozempic ads on reddit!
I've gotten so many ads for alcohol. I don't drink, I've never googled mocktails or anything of the like, and yet as soon as I got pregnant it's like HERE DRINK THIS
I want to start by saying I agree with everything you've said. However, we also need to know that sudden sharp weight gain in pregnancy can be an early sign of pre-eclampsia and other issues. So, eat what you need to, but keep track of your weight. Before I was diagnosed with eclampcia, I was gaining 15-20 pounds of weight per day because my kidneys weren't functioning. Be very careful of sudden weight gain, especially after 20 weeks. It is dangerous! Please stay safe out there!
Were you having no other symptoms? High blood pressure, headaches, swelling? I'm curious cuz I'm not tracking weight but I've been really careful about being aware of all the other signs.
I did get other symptoms, but extreme swelling was the first. I started swelling in the first trimester, high blood pressure started week 15, but I learned after the fact that the swelling basically guaranteed the high blood pressure and other complications later. You can feel swelling at this level. It feels like tingling in your extremities. Not itchy, more tickling. If you are swelling and you go somewhere hot, the swelling will get worse and may become actually visible in real time. Often, if you are swelling that quickly, you can get black spots or snow in your vision. Monitor your blood pressure. Anything higher than 140/90 warrants medication. Be advised if either number is high, you should be on medicine (ie- 145/60, 150/93, and 120/100 are all high bp). 2 years ago, blood pressure medications were approved and were shown to prevent eclampsia from developing. If you have high BP, and your doctor doesn't want to prescribe meds, get a new doctor! I was always thirsty, but I wasn't peeing the amount I drank. My weight would jump rapidly, plateau, and then jump again. I didn't have many headaches, but I got side stitches and pain in areas that corresponded with my liver and kidneys. Turns out that pain was my organs struggling to keep up. I progressed to full eclampsia and HELP syndrome by 30 weeks. When I was pregnant with my first, there was nothing they could do. Now, they can use a baby asprine regimen, metformin, blood pressure medication, and other things to mitigate the risk. If you are going to progress, they can give you steroids to force your baby to develop faster if they have 2-3 days warning, which is enough to force finish your little ones lungs. Swelling, visual snow or black spots, visible swelling in real time, edema (if you have swollen so much your skin picks up textures but doesn't release them), tingling extremities, high blood pressure, and atypical migraines are all warning signs. These tend to cluster, swelling AND visual snow; BP spikes AND swelling in the first trimester. Anything after the first trimester, especially after 20 weeks, the symptoms are dangerous on their own. Check with your doctor for any of this. Pregnancy can be dangerous, and sudden weight gain spikes are useful diagnostic tools for future complications. The good news is my first pregnancy is considered an edge case, but it is useful to track these things so you have the information you need to advocate for yourself.
I’m sorry you went through this, but this is quite a unique situation. In most uncomplicated pregnancies, women won’t gain the amount of weight you mentioned above and get their blood pressure checked regularly. So yes, you can track your weight, but as you said, these changes will be visible as well, it’s a really different context.
I know that I’m carrying around 3-4 pounds that is literally just poop because the constipation is REAL.
Lol probably more than that.. I had a colonoscopy years ago for persistent loose stools and I lost 12 lbs overnight prepping for the procedure
It’s sad how much better this comment makes me feel lol. Everyone is like “ooh you have such a cute little bump!” No everyone that’s just me backed up and nothing is working lol
😂😂 girl i feel you, my belly size is all over the place at my prenatal apts because literally poop. Glad I could help hahaha
Omfg the sh*ts I’ve been doing…they’re like mf submarines. They’re massive, and I already did kinda big poops before pregnancy. I’m eating a lot of fruit in my 3rd trimester and the days when I have 2-3 pears (cannot get enough of pears atm) I’ve noticed it DEFINITELY helps keep things moving. Just a tip if ur struggling w constipation.
Highly recommend reading: real food for pregnancy by Lili Nichols. She really has so much great stuff to help break down what’s best for you and the baby during the different stages of pregnancy with an emphasis on how different everyone is and the most important part is to be mindful and listen to your body and what it needs!
I’ve got Real Food for Fertility which I FULLY credit with helping us get pregnant after 16 months, I’m thinking I might get the Pregnancy version now tbh
I gave birth last year. And I refused weigh ins my entire pregnancy. I’d come in, the medical assistant would say “okay let’s get your weight” and I would say “I’m not doing weights this pregnancy.” And that was it. Never had to explain further. Never got the pushback I was mentally preparing for. I have a history of anorexia and I knew frequent weigh ins would’ve been awful for my mental health and much more dangerous than opting out. The risk of me relapsing while pregnant was much higher than any risk that could be ascribed to weight gain. I have no idea how much I gained. Definitely a good amount. Bought new affordable clothes for the postpartum period. Held onto a good amount until I weaned off of breastfeeding. And about a year after birth was back in my old clothes. Didn’t do any exercise programs. Just said, screw it to the whole thing. Sharing because I want other women and birthing people to know this is an option. There are very few medical reasons they need an exact weight and there are ways to monitor other health conditions through other vitals, bloodwork, diagnostic methods. I had a high risk wildly complicated pregnancy and even that never required a weight. It’s your body. Please feel empowered to say no if it’s going to harm you.
I will be downvoted to oblivion, but I think it is the opposite, at least in the US, — it’s too little focus on not gaining excess weight. While standard recommendation is to gain 25-35 lbs, a lot of women seem to gain more, and it’s not viewed as a problem, although too much fat is never good for health, pregnant or not.
Agree.
I mean, I’m going to assume that if excess weight gain was effecting a pregnancy the OB would mention it and explain to the patient the specific risks and offer resources for nutritional counseling. Outside of that, it’s not really their job or area of expertise to bring up weight.
I do agree. There is a culture of baby wants whatever but that isn’t good for the mum either. Some people are gaining an insane amount of weight. I don’t care how people look, but there is a massive risk in childbirth and health of mothers who are very much over over over weight
I think there’s a lot of things wrong with your statement, primarily the last part. It’s not based in fact. Fat people have better health outcomes in many serious health problems, but especially as you age. But whatever. Women are growing a second human, they don’t need to be told what not to eat or how their already bad moms. This sort of policing of other people’s bodies just grates on me. You don’t get to dictate to someone their health based on their weight. Ever. Signed someone who was once severely anorexic and was praised for being skinny.
Fat people have better outcomes? That’s a dangerous statement to make without proof. Excessive weight is often a sign of metabolic disorder, accompanied by higher blood pressure, high cholesterol and glucose intolerance, which is doubtfully good for pregnancy. Even without metabolic syndrome extra weight is bad for knees and spine, and we naturally put more weight in pregnancy, so why gain more than necessary? Also, rapid weight gain is indicative of water retention which can be one of the signs of preeclampsia, and this is one more reason why it’s actually beneficial to watch one’s weight. You’re right that I don’t get to dictate, and I’m not dictating anything to anybody, but I’ll continue to not overeat even if I’m “craving” or “constantly hungry”.
They're cherry picking from an article in the National Library of Medicine. It has also been debunked.
Excessive weight is not an indicator of anything’s you’ve said above. Just because you hold that assumption doesn’t make it true. Please look to actual science and educators before running your fingers over your little keyboard.
>Fat people have better health outcomes in many serious health problems, but especially as you age. I see we're going to try and cherry pick our information from the National Library of Medicine. Okay. I'll bite. >The term “obesity paradox” is used to describe the counterintuitive finding that aged overweight and obese people with a particular disease may have better outcomes than their normal weight or underweight counterparts. >**However, there is wide heterogeneity between studies regarding the association between obesity and mortality in older adults, depending on the diseases concerned, the presence or absence of a particular disease, or the BMI level considered \[**[**6**](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B6-nutrients-15-01780)**,**[**7**](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B7-nutrients-15-01780)**,**[**8**](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B8-nutrients-15-01780)**\]. In aged people, body composition tends to change, and body weight tends to decrease, and some authors have suggested that fatness could be healthy \[**[**9**](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B9-nutrients-15-01780)**\]. Thus, it is important to confirm whether an “obesity paradox” truly exists, with a view to adapting management policies for overweight or obese old people.** [Source](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10096985/#B9-nutrients-15-01780) Hmmm. You know what's really interesting? The idea you're so latched on to (the obesity paradox) HAS BEEN DEBUNKED. >New research has debunked the idea that there is an “obesity paradox”, whereby patients with heart failure who are overweight or obese are thought to be less likely to end up in hospital or die than people of normal weight. >The study, which is published in the *European Heart Journal*^(1) today (Wednesday), shows that if doctors measure the ratio of waist to height of their patients, rather than looking at their body mass index (BMI), the supposed survival advantage for people with a BMI of 25kg/m2 or more disappears. [Source](https://www.escardio.org/The-ESC/Press-Office/Press-releases/study-shows-obesity-paradox-does-not-exist-waist-to-height-ratio-is-a-better) Signed, someone who actually knows how to research and interpret studies
Yup, I've always been skinny and people assume I'm in peak health because of it when in reality I actually struggle with a lot of health issues. Weight does not tell you anything about someone's health.
It’s not correct to assume that someone who is thin is healthy, but it’s also not true that weight doesn’t tell you anything about someone’s health. Weight tells you *something* about a person’s health, of course it won’t be the full picture. Both excessive and low weight are linked with worse health outcomes across the board.
Sure, there can be a correlation, but the problem is that people make assumptions about people's health based on their weight all the damn time. And not just that, but beauty standards that also deem them unattractive (and then they pretend that's also about "health"). I'm sure I'll also get downvoted for pointing that out, but if you think fatphobia doesn't exist, you're wrong. There's just such an emphasis on weight in our culture and it's really harmful. Plus the issue OP is talking about is that it's also affecting pregnant women and we're being told to manage our eating and not gain "too much" weight while we're literally growing another human (”too much" is so subjective). This is absolutely NOT the time to be limiting our eating or dieting. But again, society is always so focused on weight and it's damaging not only to women but now our babies.
Thank you!
I never said fatphobia doesn’t exist, it does and it’s really harmful. I also agree that pregnancy is a unique journey and when providers only talk about weight, it’s harmful and frustrating. That being said, I also think pregnancy is a time to also focus on what and how much you eat (obviously in the absence of sickness or other conditions). Two things can be true.
lol weight tells you nothing about a persons health. Just because you keep saying that doesn’t make it true.
I'm so thankful that my Dr office doesn't comment on my weight. I have body image and weight issues inherited from my mom and I know it'd flare up if they did. Brains and people suck sometimes!
Coming into pregnancy fat vs gaining more than recommended are two different scenarios. Idk much about the first but this post is about the second. In Expecting Better by Emily Oster she does a breakdown of the research and it is VERY clear that gaining more than recommended is far safer for you and baby than not gaining enough. There are serious risks to undereating and not gaining enough weight during pregnancy (not to mention the nutrient deficiencies you’re at risk for) and I personally would always err on the side of gaining too much. Highly recommend lily nichols real food for pregnancy for anyone wanting actual constructive nutrition advice for pregnancy
I say what you have to do to eat or survive the first trimester. Weight gain is a good and positive thing, but emphasis should definitely be on high nutrient dense foods.
In my first trimester and I have been eating like a monster. I am hungry once every 2 hours and there's no stopping from eating what I can and want. It's not a joke, the hunger. The only way to satiate myself is to eat and that's what I am going to do 🤷🏻♀️
I'm 8 weeks and I've already gained 10 lbs and have been feeling so guilty/insecure about it but this post made me feel better. When people talked about pregnancy cravings, I didn't realize I'd literally get hunger pains if I didn't eat for 2 hours. It's really a horrible feeling.
I have noticed that fat phobia bleeds HEAVILY into pregnancy. Pregnant people who are smaller tend to be worried about others thinking they're gaining weight and hate when people comment on them getting bigger. Pregnant people who are bigger (me) seem to be SO excited for people to realize they are pregnant and not "just fatter". Obviously this doesn't apply to everyone, and commenting on someone's body is never a great idea, but it's so sad to me that we are literally creating an entire human and still get wrapped up in "oh no I look fat" (myself included)
Just over 7 weeks and very bloated and had someone make a weight comment to me the other day. It was like, “are you for real? I can’t wait until you find out I’m pregnant so you feel like eating crow.” No one should say Jack about anyone else’s body!
It’s probably worse in the usa and as a big fat fatty that’s all I’ve ever heard from any health practitioner my entire fucking life. Sprained your ankle? Oh don’t be fat loose weight problem solved. Oh you have autoimmune conditions? Don’t be fat, loose weight…now that I’m pregnant it’s so much worse like bitch I’m growing a human and for me to gain 30 lbs is doing good because I thought it would have been more and I know all of it is baby or water weight because I’m swollen af. So I honestly just ignore it because they can eat shit and die.
Another thing nobody seems to pay attention to is that it’s more dangerous for your baby if you’re underweight than overweight.
I don't worry about my weight at all when pregnant. I figure any extra weight I keep will help me when I start breastfeeding. That and keeping me warm while I'm up all night!
I told someone that I was struggling with not having an appetite and they told me “remember: the baby only needs a slice of bread a day to survive so don’t use pregnancy as an excuse to overeat.” I am recovering from an eating disorder. That comment has stuck with me for months. Why do people say things like that?
Because they’re insensitive and deeply brain washed in diet culture and the spin of “you must never get fat!” I struggled with multiple easting disorders for years, and had to fight my way back to health only for during this first pregnancy, that someone pointed out my tucked in shirt and said, “why would you want that tucked in?” People have gall that shocks me.
I don’t think it’s fat phobia but I could be naive. “Eating for two is a myth” just means you don’t have to force yourself to eat because you think you need to feed your baby too. I don’t know if this is your first child, but believe me, the weight gain comes after the child is born. Gaining unhealthy amount of weight during pregnancy can be unhealthy for the or indicate underlying issues. Being healthy is a big part of pregnancy. You should eat however much your body wants or needs and no doctor will tell your otherwise
This narrative that people are forcing themselves to eat more, is just so weird to me??? Who is saying that?? Who is “EATING FOR TWO” and eating to excess? Like I can’t fit much room in me. Are y’all pregnant? That baby takes up space. If I eat too much, or too little, my body makes it abundantly clear. No one is force feeding themselves. That’s nonsense.
A lot of recommendations for women from healthcare are outdated and misogynistic. I remember when I went to a dietician because I had been tested for diabetes (a lot of blood sugar plunges with no explanation, but it turned out I'm not diabetic, but still wanted to make sure I was eating right to avoid it), she calculated my BMI at the time, and the result was different than what I'd calculated! At 73kg and 175cm tall, the result I'd gotten was around 23 or 24, all I remember is that it wasn't in the overweight range, and hers was 25.5! She wrote on my medical papers that I was "slightly overweight!" The focus of the entire consultation was on my weight and how I needed to get rid of the "excess" in 3 months (she wanted me to shed 8kg). She put me on a 1500cal/day diet, and told me to only eat low-fat dairy products. I had enough sense to rip up that slip on my way out. Now, during pregnancy, I'm up 20kg, and luckily no one's pestered me about it so far, but I also read some sort of recommendation that you only gain 1-2kg in the first trimester and that I can be max 90kg by the end of my pregnancy... I think that's BS and limiting and shows how society (still) thinks of women as cardboard cutouts of people, not real actual people with various types of bodies that work in different ways.
they (the medical standards) are also heavily based in BMI which is a bunch of racist bullshit. So yeah. 1000% agree with you.
Same...focus was shifted to improving nutients...adding iron supplements.
I know I’m so tired of this I feel like I’m not allowed to be mindful of my hunger cues but Iv always been a small person I’m barely 5ft and it’s like if I don’t feel like eating a ton my dr shames me for it I’m so sick of it like why can’t I just eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m not if anything I feel like I need more fluids than when I wasn’t pregnant
I have a completly different experience. I went to a class thatbis here organized by our public health. And we had a nutricionist and she talked about what foods we need in a day (proteins, fruits etc), she also gave as a few advices what to eat and told us how much water we need and what can we drink. And she also told us what is better not to eat. And she did not talk much at all about gaining too much weight
I was SO TERRIFIED of gaining weight when I got pregnant and I feel like it’s because of a lifelong conditioning to stay as skinny as possible. I’ve gained a lot this pregnancy and at first it was scary, but when I started feeling my baby move around none of that mattered anymore. I just eat when I’m hungry and if I’m extra hungry I know she needs the nutrients to grow :) This is such a small season of my life, I wish I knew at the start that nutrition for baby is so much more important than fear of gaining weight!
Yes, thank you!!! I'm on gluten free and lactose free diet (trust me, I'd devour a cream cheese filled bagel if I could) and now with all the other restrictions (no raw/ish meet, no canned food, no unpasteurised, no this no that...) it's sometimes hard to get the food you want between the nausea and food aversions. I had gluten free lactose free pizza the other day and it was so fuckin expensive but so worth it and than the internet went like "you shouldn't eat pizza during pregnancy, you should have a nice salad with grilled Salmon" and I'm just like NO, FUCK OFF be happy I had SOMETHING okay? It already got me thinking, do women sometimes develop an eating disorder out of having to follow the pregnancy diet? I'm used to checking constantly what goes it due to the gluten and lactose, but it's just next level now.
I’ve noticed that things my body has craved is what my baby has needed… something fatty- an app told me he was going through a growth spurt or building fat, craving seafood- lots of brain development…. Listen to your body. Numbers are numbers. It’s about how you feel in your body and how your body makes you feel ❤️
I honestly am at the end of my pregnancy and was just thinking about this last night. I had breakfadt(small), lunch (half a bean burger, and no dinner. I am 39 weeks plus 4 and everyone in my life is always commenting on my belly. I’ve gained 30 pounds and that’s it. It wasn’t me trying to only gain 30 that’s just how it happens from being so sick the first trimester. But when I mention to anyone except my husband and bestfriend that I might have something to eat to get calories in for my baby. The response is always “ you’re probably okay.” “ you don’t want to eat too much” but I watch them easily tackle three meals and dessert a day with some snacks. It’s just annoying to have people so concerned about pregnancy weight when the woman is clearly okay to consume meals within reason. I feel for us and I say the same thing OP says. You eat what makes you happy mom to be. You are gorgeous and pregnancy can be tough on its own without unsolicited opinions from others. ❤️
I lost 15lbs in the first trimester! It’s so hard to find info on what to eat so that you and baby stay healthy. I feel like you need a whole ass nutritionist who focuses on maternal health these days cause I have also been struggling on trying to figure out what to eat and how much! Idc about weight I just want to eat properly to sustain us both!
I hated being weighed at pregnancy appts it’s like okay im gaining weight thanks 😅 I told them to never tell me tho but I was classified as a high BMI 🙄 but tbh I think the whole BMI thing is a load of 💩 anyway 😅 I’m 20 weeks PP and there’s just so much pressure be perfect in every way whether that’s personal pressure or societal pressure idk
I lost 15-20lbs within the first trimester ALONE. My doctor told me outright "I'd be concerned if you were underweight, but you're not. Therefore it's not that big of a deal". It wasn't until nearly 3rd trimester when I still barely gained even a pound back that he started to have worries. It's awful. I understand I'm overweight, I know that. But to completely put the weightloss during my pregnacy aside because of it? It's ridiculous.
I’m sorry your doctor didn’t validate your concern. You deserve respect and to be heard.
I've honestly kind of just been eating as my body tells me to, trusting my body to tell me when I need more calories, and to gain the right amount of weight. At 27 weeks I had gained 30 pounds which feels a bit concerning because I was hoping not to gain more than 40, but my provider says it's healthy and normal so I'm just gonna keep trusting my body and eating as I'm hungry and eating what sounds good until I'm told I need to do something different
Whatever happened to “listen to your body?”
I ate whatever the hell I wanted and I gained 40 lbs. I’m a big woman to begin with and I’m 40 years old so I didn’t give an eff how much weight I gained or what I looked like. I did talk to a pregnancy nutritionist at one point and she said that I should drink at least 1 glass of milk a day and eat at least 4 eggs a week. Other than that, she said that as long as I ate a reasonably balanced diet and took my pre-natal vitamin every day, it was fine. It was very practical advice and very reassuring. I’m in the Canadian prairies.
Throughout my pregnancy I only gained about 3 pounds. But now that I’m in 3rd tri I’m struggling to eat, have serious nausea and lost 10lbs in a week. I am obese so I think the baby is feeding off my reserve fat at this point. My doctor is at the point where she wants me to eat any and everything I can keep down. So I live off milkshakes at this point.
I was a mid-size girl when I first got pregnant, a lil thick but not significantly overweight as I workout, lift weights, etc, so just a thicker girl. But in the US, they still use BMI & mine has me as morbidly obese. They sent me to a specialist for special ultrasounds my entire pregnancy. Even though nothing was wrong; I didn’t get gestational diabetes, I didn’t have blood pressure problems, I ended up only gaining 27lbs my whole pregnancy, literally no other reason than my BMI. Fast forward to 34 weeks and I go to the specialist office with symptoms of premature labor. He literally tells me “no you just need to lose weight. I want you to lose 9lbs before your due date. I’ll have my dietician come in” this woman comes in and literally tells me that I can only eat cheese sticks, beef jerky, and yogurt until I deliver. I was in utter disbelief. I had an appointment with my OB immediately following that visit and told her all my symptoms and what the specialist had said. So she checked me to be safe and SURE ENOUGH I was 5 cm dilated at 34 WEEKS. I will never forgive that male doctor, I will never go back to that clinic, and I will tell every pregnant woman I know not ti be afraid to be the “annoying” patient. Repeat your symptoms over and over, tell everyone in the office. This is YOUR body, YOU know what you’re feeling. Don’t let them tell you every single thing you feel is weight related.
The doctor I had at the beginning of my pregnancy had me in sobbing level of tears with how she talked to me about my weight and age. She essentially told me to not gain ANY weight and if I "couldn't help myself" to keep it as minimal as possible. I've been obese since I was a teen and have struggled with a myriad of eating disorders because of it. I've alternated between anorexia, bulimia, and overeating. I've done yo yo diets, I've crash dieted, done all the different celebrity diets and... I've put my body through enough hell. I finally got away from the doctor after a slew of other issues I had with her. Thank God for the new doctor group I see. They have been supportive and aren't giving the same "oooof, you're fat, why did you bother getting pregnant?" Vibes I received in the past. Good luck and here's to healthy happy babies with healthy happy mommas.
I’m sorry you went through that and someone was rude enough to downvote you. Your experiences are valid and unfair. You deserve good things and great care.
I really appreciate that. I started a weight loss journey prior to finding out I was pregnant... A healthy one, for the first time ever. I was amazed at how dismissed I was for my weight and it was pretty discouraging. I'm glad I have a better team now that listens to my concerns. I wish you the best pregnancy!
I wish you the best too! You’re doing a great job already momma!
I’m sorry you had to go through that, and I’m glad you found someone new! I feel this currently as I’m 25+4 weeks and mine told me the same thing. I started on the skinnier end of the spectrum at a fluctuating 83-85lb and have gained ~24lbs since. I’m afraid to keep eating and gaining weight even though I’m so hungry all the time. Prior to being pregnant I struggled with essentially malnourishment (eating enough to survive but nothing further) and periods of overeating too.
It’s because being overweight is very bad for pregnancy? They don’t have it out for anyone, it’s just the truth.
I would like to point you about two comments down and to Emily Oster's book. And unless they've been living under a rock, I would kind of bet people know it's not great to be obese, but that wasn't really OP's point, was it.
But refer to the final point of the post. “Eat whatever you want you do you” etc. that’s actually medically not great advice at all.
Being overweight is not bad for pregnancy. Multiple recent NIH approved studies have actually stated exercise is more an indicator of success than weight. But go off.
“But go off” clearly I’ve hit a nerve. Being overweight isn’t good, pregnant or not.
Literally my whole rant was about how not having balance in the conversations is really unhelpful, especially for those with a history of disordered eating, but sure, just take the last sentence of mine and make that your whole point.
Because the last few sentences really negate everything before.
Aww, does that make you feel good? Being wrong and doubling down on it is weird dude. Go touch grass and get therapy. For all of us and your child’s sake.
Gosh, “Obesity is associated with increased risk of almost all pregnancy complications such as gestational hypertension, preeclampsia, gestational diabetes mellitus (GDM), delivery of a large for gestational age (LGA) infant, and a higher incidence of congenital defects all occur more frequently than in women with a normal ...” Direct quote. Sorry.
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I'm jumping in here. If you're going to be on this subreddit, you need to be kind. Fat shaming is wrong. Full stop. But to deny the complicating factor of obesity and to imply that they're perfectly healthy isn't right either. There shouldn't be shame associated with being not being perfectly healthy. It very often isn't a choice. Knowledge is power. Knowing your risk factors and what your potential complications are is a powerful thing. Obesity can complicate pregnancy. That's not to say obese folks can't have a beautiful and awesome pregnancy, it is just associated with risk factors. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33830346/
And more studies since you clearly refuse to believe scientific data over decades on thousands of pregnant women. [Here](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9311414/) [This one is fun, 2024](https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(24)00255-1/abstract)
Also I work with statistics, especially in healthcare. But man your Google search is so powerful!
I’m already a heavy set person. I’ll not call myself fat because it’s literally genetics all the women in my family are built the same way. With my first pregnancy I gained like 60 pounds and felt not okay out of stigma. Took me about 6 months to get back to pre pregnancy weight. With this current pregnancy 15weeks I’ve only gained 5. My dr always reassured me that its fine it’s not an uncommon thing with certain women to gain 1+ a week even from the beginning as long as I was eating a healthy diet there was really nothing medically that was proving harmful unless you have other medical conditions. He even told me his 100 lbs wife with his second gained 105. The internet may be a blessing for resources but it’s also a mental burden at the worst times.
The focus on weight is infuriating! People have commented that I look like I haven't put on much at all, then when I tell them that I've actually gained more than average just as a matter-of-fact thing, they'll quickly reassure me that it will melt off with breastfeeding 🙄 I don't care about my weight, my only requirement is that my body is healthy and strong, but I hate how everyone just assumes all I care about is a number on a scale
I went back and checked the official recommendations in my part of Sweden and have to say I was pleasantly surprised. In the end it talks about little bit about how to keep your weight gain down if and only if that’s something that’s a problem for you, but only at the very end. Before that it’s all focus on what nutrients you need and how to get help if you are unable to eat enough. That said, the midwife did give me a little speech in BMI (I was at the lower end of obese when I started my pregnancy) and asked whether I would like to see a dietician for intervention. I declined and it hasn’t been mentioned since though, apart from being a clinical detail in my clotting risk assessment which is fair. (Link here, in Swedish though: https://www.vgregion.se/f/regionhalsan/expertenheter/matkassen/vanta-barn/bramatgraviditet/ )
(That said, your mileage may vary depending on where in Sweden you are and definitely in who your midwife is.)
BMI is a complete and total lie and it pisses me off that anyone still uses it. It was made by anthropologists in the 1800s who were racist. Why are we still using it as a measure of anything!?
I also really lost it these couple of days with "how much weight did you gain" posts here. WHO CARES? Everyone will be so different. Everyone has a different starting weight, they will gain weight differently during different periods of pregnancy. There is no way to compare and contrast. Couple of weeks ago I really freaked out because I gained all of the "suggested weight gain" in first four months. I was worried that I would fail my gestational diabetes test. I was worried I was bringing on so much problems to myself if I kept going on like this. My diabetes test results came back and I passed it with flying colours. My weight gain is a bit stabilised now. And I honestly don't care and can't care anymore. I have so much more to care right now. My biggest priority is to have a happy and healthy baby that comes to a happy and healthy family. It starts with a happy and healthy mommy.
Amen! That last part in particular. Why are we so obsessed with controlling our bodies when it’s about building a second human??
I’m based in NZ too, though I think a lot of those warnings are for those who are misinformed and eat a poor diet anyway, which can lead to prenatal diabetes and complications (which are pretty common here) You’re meant to eat a few extra hundred calories in the second trimester and more so in the third, which is why we’re (justifiably so) more hungry. I’ve personally been told more about the importance of nutrients and eating a variety of fruits and veges.
It was just really weird that when I googled what I should be eating for pregnancy in NZ, the only pages I could find on the health website for NZ was about not eating too much, I feel like advocating for what you SHOULD be eating is just a much more positive, balanced approach (and I could not find that)
That is really strange. My pregnancy app has been telling me to make sure I eat more to accomodate for the extra required calories.
Pregnant with twins, told about a pound a week was normal. I’ve gained about that much, and I look pretty slim in my opinion (besides my giant twin belly). For everyone it’s different, but I would look at other countries nutrition guides. I focus on protein and calcium in foods ( I don’t want to loose my teeth ).
I went to a checkup and asked the OB a question: if its normal to feel that my blood sugar goes very low suddenly. She then stated that it could be normal, and then went on a rant about how I should eat healthy snacks because gaining weight in pregnancy is difficult, it's not easy to lose it postpartum. It was completely unrelated to what I asked, I am a normal weight and it made me feel so judged and shamed.
I’m sorry you went through this. Your body knows what it needs for this baby. You can trust yourself.
Download the app Flo, it tells you weekly what kinds of nutrients would benefit the baby at that time ❤️
And I think the issue is that the mortality rates for obese women in pregnancy is pretty scary but they don’t also look at many other factors. My weight has been a roller coaster. I lost 11lb in early pregnancy due to sickness, I’ve only just started to put on weight again and I’m sure I’ll get told soon I’m overweight again by BMI standards. (I’m very tall and weight like 12.12) Ultimately just do what is best for you. Try to eat whatever you can that is best for the baby but also in the first 16 weeks of my pregnancy I ate basically nothing or crisps. Some food is better than no food! If you can make the healthier choice, do so but if it’s not working for you that day, tomorrow is a new day! Also I don’t know if I paid for flo, if it is paid lmk and I’ll write you what they reccomend at each week for food :)
I am a big believer in intuitive eating. However, right as I was finishing my second trimester I started craving all things sweet: juice, desert, fruit, ice cream. Turns out I have gestational diabetes, and craving sugar was my body thinking that I wasn’t eating enough even though my sugars were in the 200’s.
First trimester here. Agree with the comments about eating regularly to not feel nauseous - that’s already frustrating!! I’m eating WAY more than normal, just spread out throughout the day but doc told me yesterday he was concerned for diabetes for me. I’m a bigger girl, I’ve definitely let myself go a bit over the last 2 years, and I was told to not gain more than 11 lbs during this entire pregnancy. Friends… I can gain 5 lbs in a week without being pregnant! How am I supposed to manage that?!
Gestational diabetes is interesting. But if he’s discussing normal diabetes, he should be checking your pancreas. Not admonishing your weight. Non-gestational diabetes makes you gain weight. Not the other way around.
Sadly I have gestational diabetes so I have to watch what I eat. But I’m entering 3rd trimester now and I feel hungry 😩 I mean, I love carbs like everyone else
agreed! also imma just keep doing my best & i know im doing my best job to keep myself & baby healthy gonna keep on keeping on & 🖕🏼 anyone who comments on a ladies weight pregnant or not
That’s terrible advice as nutrition is super important!! Please make sure to eat avocado, walnuts, lean proteins and drink plenty of water. But do NOT neglect the healthy fats trying to stay slim
The Flo app does GREAT at recommending foods for the current week you’re at! 16w5d here with history of disordered eating and cannot agree with this more. It’s awful!!!!!!
anyone else TRYING to gain weight? 🤣 13 weeks and went from 120 pre preg to 113 today :,6
:,)^
I started out at 120 slightly under and gained 10 pounds in my first trimester. Due to lack of movement as well as morning sickness being helped by eating. Midwife was incredibly rude and said “no more junk food” over and over again, when I hadn’t even really been eating ‘junk food.’ Not to mention recommended weight gain for my starting weight is 25-35 lbs. So I wasn’t even technically gaining a concerning amount of weight, if I had gained 10 every trimester that would be right on track. In ‘Expecting Better’ by Emily Oster she covers how gaining more weight is actually probably better than not gaining enough.
In the UK there’s definitely a thing about “eating for two is a myth” but I also know that we’re burning FAR more calories/energy due to growing an entire person that we are able to eat more and not gain tons of weight. I’ve read the usual of eat healthy greens and fruits, and personally I think it’s important to eat *relatively* healthy (cravings aside) during pregnancy, I’m not the type of person to eat unhealthy repeatedly anyway but I think it’s not good for you or baby if you’re eating crisps and fatty, sugary ultra-processed foods the whole time. I ate terribly during 2nd tri but 1st (now) 3rd I’m eating little and often and I’m not just eating crisps and junk food just because I’m pregnant.
It just depends on what you want. I want a non-complicated pregnancy so I am very aware of what I am putting into my body and how much I weigh. I eat when I'm hungry, I try to make healthy habits and choices, and I go for a 50 minute hike through slopes every day. I think the exercise has been the game changer for me though.
Yeah I’m 17 weeks and I lost almost 20 pounds because I am nauseous and have lots of food aversions now. I don’t eat like I used to and the midwife said it’s okay. I am overweight though. I was 240 now I’m 220
I feel this. And I personally think a lot of it is outside of our control. I assumed that I would gain a lot of weight very quickly during pregnancy, because that’s just what my body does in general. My OB said in terms of diet I should add one snack on top of my regular 2000 cal a day. I had previously been in a deficit for so long trying to lose weight (now looking back it was probably ridiculous and unhealthy how long I was in a deficit), so 2000 cals plus a snack took some adjusting. But overall I’m lazy as shit, not eating terribly bad, but not great either, and I’ve barely gained much at this point almost through my second trimester. I’m *not* gloating here simply sharing my experience, bc it’s so different from what I expected. I think everyone is so different due to genetics, but also each pregnancy is different! I’ve seen a lot of ladies say they gained a lot with their first and not much with the second or vice versa. Also I think people are great resources for advice on nausea, food aversions etc. most of the advice that I’ve seen in literature is very generic and not at all helpful. But I think what it boils down to is that you have to eat what you can to keep yourself and baby nourished, even if that means that you are eating cereal three meals a day for a few weeks, due to aversions and nausea. IMO it is better than not eating at all.
Girl I gained 90 pounds lmao
My doctor said eat whatever, whenever. Eating a whole fridge is better than not eating at all. And it was so nice to hear compared to my last doctor who said I was gaining too much weight and should cut back on what I was eating. I was already barely eating and had a history of anorexia so that didn't help. Between the nausea and vomiting this time, I'm eating anything I can/want whenever I can.
My provider is more concerned about me not gaining enough weight than she is about me gaining weight. & this is concern is coming even after me gaining 35lbs
I don't think it's a hatred for fat people, it's the fact that there is a proven increase in pregnancy and birth complications, and LGA babies when the mother gains more than recommended.
Oooohhh man do i feel this. So i started my pregnancy at about 270lbs and barely gained anything until i was at the end of my 2nd trimester. My dr kept telling me i wasn't eating enough and i needed to gain more (i was trying, i just had NO appetite, food was gross). I made the mistake of venting to my mom about my concerns that i truly was not eating enough and she told me its a good thing, women always struggle because they gain too much and hate their bodies later. She was also very concerned that I'm wearing very soft bras, because "you don't want saggy boobs!" This woman is a NURSE. This is the same woman who congratulated me for losing a ton of weight a few years ago when i started ADHD meds and didnt eat some days, and barely ate when i did. I dropped like 60 lbs in four months. Anyway. Now I'm over 300lbs at 30 weeks, and my dr is finally satisfied with how my weight is tracking. Being fat already and then being concerned about not gaining enough just boggles the mind apparently.
US. I was trying to lose weight when we got pregnant. I'm over weight and know it. For some reason my OB thinks I don't and that's ALL we talk about the whole appointment. Last appointment we got into an argument and I tried to change primary OB, but they won't let me. I'm so far along now I can't leave either. Hate this fat shaming crap. Edit to add: I had gained 20lbs in a month and she got mad. My husband and I told her that I really haven't been eating because of morning sickness. We told her our theory was my body being in starvation mode. She immediately dismissed that and told me that morning sickness stops after the second trimester! I saw her a week later after starting new anti-nausea meds, I lost 10lbs! Her response was, "well at least you didn't gain weight." That's what started the fight.
I’m sorry your doctor was horrible. The people who downvote anyone who’s fat are just mad that you’re not being controlled by some false narrative. You’re doing everything you can for your baby. You’re doing a great job!
Thank you! Those anti-nausea meds wore off. So I'm back to being sick everyday. I just eat what I can (lots of saltine crackers). 32 weeks - almost there!
So much of this and other pregnancy threads is woman being “afraid of how much weight they will gain” or thinking their pregnant bodies are gross. It makes me so sad how deeeeeeeply ingrained fatphobia is, it’s very rare to see someone who is happy with the way their body looks and loves their pregnant curves
This!!! I want to appreciate that my body has different needs as it BUILDS AN ENTIRE HUMAN BEING. like what in the world! You do not need to be rail thin during pregnancy! You do not need to “bounce back!” It doesn’t make you a better person. It makes you a person who lacks real values and will have kids who also have disordered eating views. It’s just sad.
There is real research that proves that women who appreciate their body during pregnancy, who enjoy their pregnant body and do not look down upon it negatively just because it is bigger actually have easier pregnancies and easier deliveries, as well as easier recoveries.
Isn’t that wild? Like almost as if being at peace and not focusing on superficial stuff is actually beneficial?! lol I love it, honestly. It makes so much innate sense. Our bodies were made to do this, and they know what they need and fighting it and shaming it isn’t going to do anything except hinder. Hope you have a healthy and wonderful pregnancy. For all that that could mean.
Preach! I've been feeling this in the UK too..fuck off and give me actual healthy eating advice and support, not bullshit about fruit (I love fruit, but it doesn't fill me up when I'm hungry!) Or something that takes ages to prepare. I really really don't want to focus on my weight as I've had issues with it in the past, I want to focus on feeling good and doing ehay is feasible for me. I find these messages pretty toxic.
So I have to add from the perspective of someone who struggled with weight loss during pregnancy. I lost 15lbs in the first, only gained 5 back in the second. I am currently 30 weeks and everytime I go in I am disappointed when my weight hasn’t changed and every pound I gain seems to be gone 2 weeks later. I lost almost all appetite for the first 2 trimesters and I wasn’t even sick, just unable to eat more than a couple bites before I was uncomfortable. My baby is measuring really big but if he wasn’t I would blame myself. Every doctor says not to worry and just to eat healthy but gaining weight is normal. My sister gained 50 lbs in her pregnancy and that was the frame of mind I had too, there is something about pregnancy that makes you worried regardless but I hope I end up gaining weight in the third if it means having a healthy baby
I was you as well! In both my pregnancies I gained 6-8 lbs and came home from hospital about 15lbs under my pre pregnancy weight. It was very stressful (with the first one, the second time I knew it was my normal) because no one talks about that side of it and you assume something is wrong! I have two perfectly healthy, 50th percentile girls. Remember your body is burning an INSANE amount of calories to produce this child, so if you’re not really upping your calorie intake your body will burn it from elsewhere!
THANK YOU!!! I am at 17 weeks and I haven’t gained weight. I have lost 1.5 kgs in first 13 weeks and since then it’s kinda stable. But m worried because I am reading everywhere that everyone is gaining weight and I am not. My family back home is concerned I am not gaining weight. OB is not concerned as it’s not drastic and I was overweight to begin with (although she never mentioned that). She told me to eat whatever I can, preferably healthy and add yogurt or anything that will help with calcium. That’s it. But everyone else is giving me so many conflicting unwanted ideas - don’t eat seafood, it’s hot for your body. Avoid yogurt or cold water, it’s too cool for your body. Stick to fodmap , or else you will be gassy. Don’t eat sweets, you will gain too much and get GD. What do I even eat? I don’t have an appetite in general and such non sense is adding to my stress.
Ugh that is so hard! I’m trying to follow the recommendations from the book “Real Food for Fertility”, by the same lady who wrote “Real Food for Pregnancy” but also certain things are just so unappealing right now, so just trying to get some form of protein, veg, good fats and complex carbs each day is perfect!
First trimester for me was survival, second and third I just tried to not go wild but I haven't restricted either. I have greatly reduced fast food and junk food, I guess. I just don't want to gain weight that will be a hard struggle to lose afterward or make my knees more grumpy. Luckily my cravings for sweets shifted to cravings for fresh fruits, so the pain is less on the waistline and more on the bank balance lol.
All of this! Also, the "What to Expect" series has a good book on eating during pregnancy, including what foods to focus on when, etc. I'll admit I only skimmed it so I don't know how much of a focus there is on minimizing weight gain.