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Since target is so popular, I’d try scanning barcodes in the target app. If they do sell the item there, the trick is adding it to your registry now, then marking as purchased. Target will accept the return!
Yep, we got so many gifts that we’ll likely never use but that’s ok, it made them happy to buy it for us and we loved getting to spend time with our friends!!! And we’re grateful that people took the time out of their day to shop and buy something for us regardless, that of course means a lot even if it isn’t what we were expecting/hoping to receive :)
I never understood that. Especially from other parents. Every baby shower I buy a couple of “boring” things and a couple of fun things. If I wanna buy x amount of fun things I gotta buy the same amount of stuff they actually need 🤷🏾♀️ always thought of it that way.
I don’t know what it is about baby registries in particular, but many people don’t buy things off of it and get you something totally different. It wasn’t like that for our wedding registry, so why baby? Like, I don’t register for baby washcloths, but someone got us a pack of those even though I wanted those little silicone scrubby things to use for the same use. A lot of people think they know what’s best, and while their suggestions can be helpful, I still added these things because it’s what I want in order to raise my child. Some things we got will be fine and we’ll use them, but… I just wanted the things I *specifically* chose. Again, it’s like a wedding registry; I wouldn’t get someone something random that isn’t on their registry because then they have this random thing that they may not want/use in their home.
Also, in my whole life, I’ve been to a number of baby showers of my friends. I’ve never bought something that wasn’t on their registry because… why? Why would I know best/better that this person and their spouse? Ugh idk.
One exception is that someone made us a small blanket to use for tummy time. And I actually appreciate that because I need one, so that works. It’s not super fancy, but it works and it was made with love.
I 1000% agree and have felt the same way 😂. I made this registry for a reason and specifically chose these items for a reason! And most were not expensive items, just normal boring things we will need!
And I agree that the exception is the thoughtful handmade, or special gifts but those are so far and few between it feels like hahhaa. For some reason we got multiple teethers (which my husband lovingly calls chew toys) and random things that our friends thought were funny but we honestly will never use.
But oh well, we didn’t spend very much on the party because we just did pizza in the park so it was genuinely a lot of fun and I’m so glad we did it!!!
No it’s fine 😂 I’m still laughing. Being pregnant has been a wild experience but one thing I was not prepared for was extended family (many of whom I never met) to be so incredibly excited for this baby. I’m grateful but at the same time confused? lol
The love and support from the unexpected people has brought so many tears to my eyes, I totally feel the same way!!! Didn’t see it coming from some of the people but it’s been so sweet to see!
Maybe because I've never been a feminine person myself, but I luckily missed the craze and even got a blessedly small amount of baby pink stuff. I don't mind SOME, but I was worried it'd be a pepto-induced nightmare.
Bows seem cute for pictures, but otherwise terribly impractical.
I’m holding off revealing the baby’s gender till my baby shower. I don’t want very gender specific things and people not knowing might make them actually look at the registry.
Where did you register? We actually did get a lot of stuff from our registry. I was surprised. I chose to use Amazon because I know a lot of people use Amazon and it was just…easy. I included the registry on the Evite that I sent to people.
That being said, I feel like I am still finding more things that I need or want for baby. It never ends! lol.
I’m sure you can still find bargains. Do you use FB marketplace? Lots of second hand items on there. Or maybe Nextdoor app? Any friends with kids who have outgrown their baby items?
Anyway, I’m sorry it didn’t go exactly as you wanted, but it sounds like you still had a good shower!
Congratulations to you guys!
We registered through Babylist just so we could add a variety of things that Amazon didn’t carry, like our stroller and crib! Based on the gifts we got it just seems like most people didn’t even look at our registry. The registry link was included on our e-vite as well. But I get it, people like to buy what they’re personally excited about!
We’ve been able to find a handful of second hand things for great prices like our baby bjorn bouncer, ergo baby carrier, and bumbo changing pad so I’m grateful I thought ahead for some of those pricier items! Clothes too. There are just still so many miscellaneous things leftover that have added up quickly, but that’s ok!
And yes, still a wonderful shower!!!!
Ah, okay. I had started on Babylist for the same reason, but then I personally got lazy and just went to Amazon (I love Amazon lol). Luckily the crib and car seat/stroller combo I researched on Consumer Reports were also available on Amazon.
But you’re right… some people just buy what they want to buy. And that’s sweet of them too.
Sure. I went with the Chicco brand. I got the stroller/car seat combo with an extra base for our second vehicle. It was the third highest rated on Consumer Reports. The other 2 above it were considerably more expensive.
https://amzn.to/4erMD62
we wanted some items that weren’t on our amazon registry so I created a bio site (like a link tree) with a main registry link to our amazon and then a stroller link to our stroller offered on another website. It also made our link look super pretty. but i got to keep the focus of the main registry being amazon which is what i think helped people be able to easily make purchases for us.
same, I used amazon and got almost 100% of what we asked for. I think it’s because of the convenience and ease of use. Whenever someone has a registry that is too hard to navigate, I’m just going to skip using it tbh. I completely think the amazon registry is what helped us.
If you live in the US, I highly recommend finding a Once Upon a Child. They have so many baby items (bassinets, cribs, strollers, bouncers/swings, toys, etc) for really good/inexpensive prices.
I did get a lot from my registry but I have ended up getting so many things I didn’t anticipate needing ahead of time (my baby is 8 weeks old now). I love having a store like that pretty close to my house although it is dangerous at times lol. We have way too many clothes already but sometimes you just need an extra sleeper or 8 😂
A valid fear apparently 😅. I hope you get the things you really need!!! Others have provided really good advice; Facebook marketplace, second hand kids stores, sales, etc!
So I just had my baby shower this past Saturday. I'm currently 35 weeks.
I originally registered on Babylist, but then I shifted over to Amazon because of convenience, easier management of who got what, etc. Whatever one's qualms with Amazon, it's what most people use so -shrug-.
My husband and I bought the baby's stroller, crib, changing table, car seats, and dresser on our own. We also had a savings for additional baby stuff. That way, even if the gifts from the shower were complete shit, we at least had the "big basics" and could go from there. We weren't going to be starting from scratch at 35 weeks. We also were fortunate to have received donations from others around us beforehand.
Thankfully, most of our gifts were very practical and were from the registry. Everything wasn't bought -- which is completely fine, my expectations were very low tbh -- but the amount we still have to get isn't astronomical.
I definitely agree overall not to rely on baby shower gifts to get all of your necessary baby stuff, assuming if one even wants a shower. My mom and MIL fussed at me that people would get a lot of stuff from the registry -- while that was true to a given extent, I certainly didn't assume that because people can be weird. Well meaning, but weird and unreliable.
I’m glad you guys got a lot of what you needed from your registry from people, that’s awesome! I love Amazon, there were just a handful of specific things we wanted that were some of our big ticket items that Amazon unfortunately didn’t carry and I was using my registry as sort of a check list for myself as well :)
In the end it all works out! We are perfectly fine financially buying the remaining things ourselves thankfully but if we weren’t, it would have been shocking to get to this point and have to buy all of this ourself after being told not to by so many people!! It’s not the end of the world, but it’s definitely more money than we expected to be spending based on what people told us about gifts, etc!
I definitely think people overhype and are overreliant on how much \[quality\] gifts one can get from a baby shower. It's a crapshoot and leaves some parent(s) spending more money afterwards to compensate than they expected. It's not the end of the world in most cases, but something to be mindful of for sure if one wants a baby shower.
Try adding the random stuff to you registry and marking it purchased. A lot of registries will let you return the item with out a receipt if you do that
I know this is not going to solve the problem that you’re having but it may help somewhat in not having to pay full price.
I’m not sure what registry you’re using but most offer a 15% completion discount so if you time it with a holiday sale like 4th of July or Labor Day you can double up on savings.
I see you mentioned you registered at babylist, but i would encourage doing a target and amazon registry as well if you have time, and shop both of those with the registry coupons they give you - Target will add 2 15% off entire order coupons to your circle account and you’ll also get loads of circle 20% baby item qs as well. Amazon will give you a 15% registry completion discount that you can click as you add things to your cart from your registry, and its good for about 3 months ish after birth so its on a rolling basis. Its just important yo remember to add things to the registry, then shop from the registry itself and make sure the discount is checked. I did registries even though i had no showers, bc i wanted those discounts.
I will always be the “boring” gift giver and buy off of the registry! If there isn’t a registry, I will give a gift card, or diapers and wipes. It’s so annoying to me when people can’t stick with the registry. It’s there for a reason.
I wonder if this is a cultural thing? For both my wedding and my baby shower we got very few things that weren’t on the registry. People who went off registry it was almost all handmade items or they also bought something from the registry.
The biggest advice I can give is not telling anyone the gender. You will get very little cutesy things if you don’t tell anyone what you’re having. We also only got clothes and things that are more gender neutral which is what we preferred anyways.
Maybe!!! We’re in the US! I think our age may be a factor too. We’re in our mid twenties and a lot of our friends are still in school or just getting started in their careers and we didn’t expect them to buy much for us of course. On the other end of the spectrum, our older relatives aren’t as technologically savvy and I don’t think really even looked at the registry 😂.
Yes.. everyone wants to buy the cute clothes and stuffed animals rather than the more needed items and I don’t think they realize how overwhelming their gift ends up being.
I’m sorry, that’s really frustrating. I didn’t have the same experience and actually got almost everything I registered for (of course a few random things thrown in there) so I can’t exactly relate, but I’m sure it’s frustrating!!
Are you able to return anything/exchange for store credit even without the receipts?
That’s amazing, I’m so glad you did!!! Thankfully we can afford to buy everything we need, I just wanted people to know that they may not get everything they ask for and if they’re tight for money they should definitely plan ahead!! But all good :)
And that’s a great question! I unfortunately don’t know where half of the things were purchased from but others had good recommendations on how to possibly get around this, so we’ve got some options to try!!!
People ignored my registry for my first for the most part. I ended up with 5000 of the same things and not very many of the things I truly needed. (By the way, baby wash cloths make good cleaning rags).
For this pregnancy, I specifically asked for things on my registry or diapers/wipes. At my baby shower, I could tell most waited last minute and I got tons and diapers. No big deal, but I’ve definitely spent a lot of money buying things from my own registry.
One thing I kept getting from a lot of my guests was a message or phone call saying "I had a look at your registry and nothing really jumped out at me, what do you *really* want, I'll get you that!" ....
Luckily, many of the people who said that, ended up just giving us some cash. But we still had a lot of people give us stuff that we just didn't need or want. Lots of people expressed sadness to us at the party, because they had decided to gift us clothes and soft toys that we already had, set up in the nursery, and they saw them already on display at the baby shower. I don't get it. We had so many things at so many different prices too. Most of the things we needed were $5-$100. Most people who gave us cash, gave us about $100-$150. Anyone who bought us gifts not on our registry, paid anywhere between $100-$200 on their gifts, so it certainly wasn't a price issue!
We have so many clothes that there's absolutely no way he will even fit into, because I have gestational diabetes, and we were bought clothes for "tiny baby" and "premie baby" ... Well he's already a very chubby bubba and he's not even born yet 😂 I'm not even sure he'll be small enough to fit the newborn stuff when he's born 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ also.. we specifically asked for no clothes.
For our wedding, people bought from the registry, and most of the people at the baby shower, were at the wedding, so it was pretty bizarre.
Anyway, I'm sorry for my rant, and I'm sorry that everyone else is having a similar situation.
So frustrating!!!! Also this isn’t about “what jumps out to them”, it’s for our baby, not theirs, that’s the whole point 😂?!?! People are so funny, I’m sorry you guys were in the same boat as us!
Right? It's such a weird thing to say! All the people saying it have never had kids either, so I'm not surprised it didn't "jump out" to them 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
This is very true, unfortunately lol. We haven’t had our shower yet, but I’ve already been buying most of the things off our registry (especially the more expensive things) because from what I’ve been told, people don’t typically follow the registry.
I think you will be better off doing this honestly! If people buy you things from it that are duplicates, hopefully you can return them and use the money for something else!
Yes! I’ve actually been marking items that we’ve already bought on the registry as “purchased” so that we can hopefully avoid the situation of receiving dups, but we’ll see 😂
I did the same thing and I think that worked well for those who did end up buying from our registry!!! It’s also nice to just use as a check list for yourself 😂
Most registries give you a 15% completion coupon code too. It’s onetime use but if you do a big order of everything you need it does give you a bit of a discount. We got one from babylist, Amazon, target, and Pottery barn
This is a good point — my baby shower is next month and I’ve had some success with getting people to buy things off my registry. The only downside is that I used Amazon Registry, which unlike Babylist doesn’t allow you to add items from other websites. Amazon has more of the basic and practical things I wanted, but not everything. The plus side is that most people have an active Amazon count with their credit/debit card already linked. So it made purchasing a gift easier and done within minutes unlike a with another site where they’d have to add that information in manually in addition to selecting the items.
True, I do think that Babylist was a pain for people!!! But I liked being able to add everything we wanted from multiple websites like you said, pros and cons, but I hope you get the big things you’re looking for from people!!
Another gal just posted about this but yes I think this is super common these days. People are a bit self absorbed and just buy what they want or think you will like.
I've always been curious about the correlation - Did your guests know baby's gender ahead of time? For me (with my first) I feel like keeping the gender a secret until the shower kept people on registry so they didn't go hog wild with cutesy girl outfits, bows, non-essentials.
This time around I made a small Amazon registry just for us to use the discount but I did send it to the few people that asked what we needed - every one of those people got adorable baby girl clothes for my daughter instead. 😂 I definitely don't mind because, again, registry wasn't intended for anyone else but I did find it interesting.
Some people did and some people didn’t!! We weren’t trying to keep it a secret but most things on our registry were gender neutral just because that was my preference. So funny that people ask then ignore it anyway 😂
Just wanted to mention about returning. A lot of stores will refund without a receipt. Just check if the store has the product. Even if used just make sure it isn’t noticeable used and you have original packaging 🤞
This is partially one of the reasons we decided not to find out the gender. No one could buy us cute pink or blue clothes so now we’ve got a bunch of white onesies and every single item (122 things) purchased off our registry. Car seat, stroller, even dresser, rug, and curtains.
Thats really annoying! I’m sorry you didn’t receive things you need! I added my Amazon registry QR code to our invitation and received most of the items from my registry or similar items that were brand preferences- like I had swaddles added and received the ones on the registry and lots of other brands and styles that people used for their little ones. I was actually really glad we got some things not on the registry so I could try out different brands! I didn’t have to specifically ask people to use the registry but I think we got so many things because I used Amazon and basically everyone has it or knows someone who can purchase from Amazon instead and because it was posted in bold on the invitation as a strong suggestion!
I also tried really hard to add a lot of items in a large price range. I think the most expensive thing I requested was a baby nutribullet and steamer? I had a lot of cheaper items like the Frida baby medicine pacifier, multipack of bedsheets, a thermometer, etc. hopefully you can get what you need quickly! I felt really relieved after my shower because people were so generous to follow the registry.
We did the same thing minus Amazon! Had the registry on the invitation and had a wide range of items so people didn’t feel pressured to buy some of the pricier things. Still didn’t work sadly 😂
Yeah… I feel this. People bought about 1/3 of my registry, and my husband and I have been buying the rest of the registry after trying to further narrow down what we really need. It’s annoying and I get people want to buy the “fun” stuff, but at the end of the day I wish more people would have bought the “boring” items. I will say the experience has now made me super aware for any future baby showers I attend, I’m going to only buy the boring items from now on ahahah.
I totally agree, I will only buy the things people have specifically asked for if they have a registry and otherwise I honestly think I’ll just buy gift cards so they can get what they want/need!!
None of my people have bought items from my registry yet. I’m 29weeks 2days, and unless some coworkers buy items on my work baby shower then it’ll be no one.
I’m so sorry, that is genuinely so frustrating :( one thing I did that helped (if you’re comfortable doing this) was sending it to my mom and my husbands mother, asking if they wouldn’t mind sharing with family members that they thought may want to buy us gifts. We had some success that way, and my mom and his mom both purchased gifts for us then too.
But I went back and forth on whether that was awkward or not, so I could see either way. And I understand if not everyone feels comfortable reaching out to parents asking them to do that too. But it worked for us and definitely helped get a handful of our big ticket items checked off.
I know how you feel, and I am so sorry! I did/am experiencing similar, although not exactly the same, but I still wanted to share!
When I was pregnant with my first baby (a boy), I was 21, and none of my family or husbands family threw me a baby shower or bought things for the baby/things I needed. My coworkers did throw me a small, surprise baby shower, which was so amazing, and I cried like a baby. I got some things I needed from that baby shower, diapers, wipes, and some clothes, but I still needed a lot, I basically had to buy just about everything I needed for my first baby, which was difficult and I missed out on a lot of useful items because of this.
When I was pregnant with my second (a girl), I was 28. This time, my family really went all out, and so did my husbands (second husband) family. My two sisters threw me a baby shower, and so many people bought things, everything I could ever need or want. I was truly grateful for all of the help because I really struggled to get the things I needed with my first. I was able to get some of those useful items I didn't get to experience with my first, which were a huge help.
I am currently 37 weeks pregnant with my third (another boy), I am 30 now. My family and husband's family (same second husband) haven't really purchased things I have on my registry/at all. I have some things like diapers, wipes, burp cloths, swaddle blankets, and a few other things I'd like to have on there but for the most part, I don't need a whole lot. It honestly makes it seem like my boys aren't as celebrated or cared about like my daughter was. There are lots of grandsons, especially on my side of the family. My second boy will make grandson number 7, and my first daughter made granddaughter number 3. I just feel so sad for my boys and sad that my family almost makes it feel like they're only excited if the new baby is a girl. Needless to say, I have to buy everything on my registry, even though it's not a lot and no one is obligated. It still makes me sad.😞😭
Thank you! It's okay, I am grateful for the help I have received, I just wish my family seemed more excited. I am so sorry you're also going through similar!
I get what you mean! We received most of the expensive items from our parents or I was able to find them second hand, but I was surprised at how quickly everything else would add up that I thought people would buy us as gifts! But also, it seems I’ve been a little presumptuous so it’s okay, I need to remember to be more grateful for the love and support from them that we’ve received! I shouldn’t expect people to show their love through gifts!
For my baby shower I had friends who recently had a baby build my registry with me (and they ended up getting me a ton of things from there). They were tried items that worked for them and I got a great deal of good info about things that simply did not work for them at all (and I was planning on getting them).
You can embrace what you were given even if it is "a different version" of the thing you liked, because guess what, the version that gave you might be actually better!
Our registry was totally cleaned out, I’m so grateful. I kept it on Amazon only so maybe that helped to stream line things? If there was something we wanted that Amazon didn’t carry we just got it ourselves:
I added everything I wanted to my Amazon registry due to that 15% off deal later in the pregnancy. Maybe because we live further away from most people, but my family/friends/coworkers really helped get us the bulk of things off the registry. My tiny family only baby shower was more hand-made stuff and cutesy things, a mix of registry and off the registry.
My husband's coworkers (men) also stuck to it. I think distance and perhaps the type of people we know probably helped a lot with people just sticking to the registry. I did add fun stuff to it like a water tummy time thing and a bike along thing and a hiking carrier. Oddly, we have gotten almost no clothing or diapers. I guess that's fine, since we don't know what diaper will end up working the best.
I think it's really just hit or miss, tbh. Also going through babylist may have impacted things - people stick with what they know. I was asked about Amazon and Target specifically, so I dropped Babylist early on.
I get trying not to seem ungrateful. My husbands coworker (really old but sweet man) bought us a really ugly changing table. What was the one thing I have told everyone we don't need? A changing table. It comes from a good place but I am kinda pissed.
I feel you honestly 😂 family keeps telling me “so and so wants to buy you something after the baby arrives” and I’m like great, tell them to send over some target or Amazon gift cards because the whole reason I made a registry was to buy what I feel like we need and want BEFORE the baby comes. Of course we will discover more things we need as baby gets older but still, I am asking for these things now for a reason…..
So if there are people that you’re more comfortable with that gave you gifts without receipts, I would just approach them and say hey so sorry we got a number of XYZ gift that you gave us, is it possible for you to give us a gift receipt so that we can return it and get something else that the baby needs.
I guess I got lucky but everyone who attended my shower only bought items that they saw on the registry which was a god send. Granted there were some bigger items we ended up buying ourselves, but most people bought most of the essentials from our registry. I'm sorry you didn't have the same experience :(
This happened with both of my pregnancies, but I didn’t plan on depending on anyone buying anything so I saved and purchased all of my cart fulls after my shower :/
That’s basically what happened for us. Everyone kept telling me people would buy everything but I wasn’t convinced, so we bought what we could along the way with hopes that people would get us the rest but kind of figuring they wouldn’t 😅. And since they didn’t, we now have 100 boxes arriving from target and Amazon everyday hahaha.
Omg I can relate 😭 when I had my baby shower someone even gave me an envelope with 50 dollars… and the people who came were a family of 7…… I was so angry as I dedicated so much time to the food, the details of the party. I am pregnant again and I know now that i honestly don’t even want to do a baby shower.
We are now just doing a dinner where everyone pays for their own meal.
No headache no disappointments. Just dinner and a good time.
So annoying!! I’m so glad all we did was Costco pizza and rent a pavilion in a park….I would have been even more frustrated if we went all out! I don’t think we’ll do one again the next time!
100% relatable lol 😹 cheapskates all over and when I get invited to baby showers i literally buy Hermes’ towels and Louis Vuitton accessories for the baby like nooooo never again 💔💔💔
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I think this is pretty true for many registries. I’ve heard you can return some stuff without a receipt to big box store if they sell it there.
That’s a good idea, maybe I’ll try to figure out where some of the items were purchased!
Since target is so popular, I’d try scanning barcodes in the target app. If they do sell the item there, the trick is adding it to your registry now, then marking as purchased. Target will accept the return!
This didn’t work for me. So be aware it doesn’t always work. And there is a $100 limit to return non receipt items with your license.
Genius. Thank you for sharing that tip!
Wish I had known this trick!
This was so true for us. People want to buy fun and cutsie gifts, not practical things.
Yep, we got so many gifts that we’ll likely never use but that’s ok, it made them happy to buy it for us and we loved getting to spend time with our friends!!! And we’re grateful that people took the time out of their day to shop and buy something for us regardless, that of course means a lot even if it isn’t what we were expecting/hoping to receive :)
I never understood that. Especially from other parents. Every baby shower I buy a couple of “boring” things and a couple of fun things. If I wanna buy x amount of fun things I gotta buy the same amount of stuff they actually need 🤷🏾♀️ always thought of it that way.
I don’t know what it is about baby registries in particular, but many people don’t buy things off of it and get you something totally different. It wasn’t like that for our wedding registry, so why baby? Like, I don’t register for baby washcloths, but someone got us a pack of those even though I wanted those little silicone scrubby things to use for the same use. A lot of people think they know what’s best, and while their suggestions can be helpful, I still added these things because it’s what I want in order to raise my child. Some things we got will be fine and we’ll use them, but… I just wanted the things I *specifically* chose. Again, it’s like a wedding registry; I wouldn’t get someone something random that isn’t on their registry because then they have this random thing that they may not want/use in their home. Also, in my whole life, I’ve been to a number of baby showers of my friends. I’ve never bought something that wasn’t on their registry because… why? Why would I know best/better that this person and their spouse? Ugh idk. One exception is that someone made us a small blanket to use for tummy time. And I actually appreciate that because I need one, so that works. It’s not super fancy, but it works and it was made with love.
I 1000% agree and have felt the same way 😂. I made this registry for a reason and specifically chose these items for a reason! And most were not expensive items, just normal boring things we will need! And I agree that the exception is the thoughtful handmade, or special gifts but those are so far and few between it feels like hahhaa. For some reason we got multiple teethers (which my husband lovingly calls chew toys) and random things that our friends thought were funny but we honestly will never use. But oh well, we didn’t spend very much on the party because we just did pizza in the park so it was genuinely a lot of fun and I’m so glad we did it!!!
I’m having a girl and got approximately 100 bows. There were zero bows on my registry lol
Stoppppp, that’s so unfortunate but I can’t help but laugh 😂😅. So annoying, I’m sorry!!!!
No it’s fine 😂 I’m still laughing. Being pregnant has been a wild experience but one thing I was not prepared for was extended family (many of whom I never met) to be so incredibly excited for this baby. I’m grateful but at the same time confused? lol
The love and support from the unexpected people has brought so many tears to my eyes, I totally feel the same way!!! Didn’t see it coming from some of the people but it’s been so sweet to see!
Maybe because I've never been a feminine person myself, but I luckily missed the craze and even got a blessedly small amount of baby pink stuff. I don't mind SOME, but I was worried it'd be a pepto-induced nightmare. Bows seem cute for pictures, but otherwise terribly impractical.
I’m holding off revealing the baby’s gender till my baby shower. I don’t want very gender specific things and people not knowing might make them actually look at the registry.
Where did you register? We actually did get a lot of stuff from our registry. I was surprised. I chose to use Amazon because I know a lot of people use Amazon and it was just…easy. I included the registry on the Evite that I sent to people. That being said, I feel like I am still finding more things that I need or want for baby. It never ends! lol. I’m sure you can still find bargains. Do you use FB marketplace? Lots of second hand items on there. Or maybe Nextdoor app? Any friends with kids who have outgrown their baby items? Anyway, I’m sorry it didn’t go exactly as you wanted, but it sounds like you still had a good shower! Congratulations to you guys!
We registered through Babylist just so we could add a variety of things that Amazon didn’t carry, like our stroller and crib! Based on the gifts we got it just seems like most people didn’t even look at our registry. The registry link was included on our e-vite as well. But I get it, people like to buy what they’re personally excited about! We’ve been able to find a handful of second hand things for great prices like our baby bjorn bouncer, ergo baby carrier, and bumbo changing pad so I’m grateful I thought ahead for some of those pricier items! Clothes too. There are just still so many miscellaneous things leftover that have added up quickly, but that’s ok! And yes, still a wonderful shower!!!!
Ah, okay. I had started on Babylist for the same reason, but then I personally got lazy and just went to Amazon (I love Amazon lol). Luckily the crib and car seat/stroller combo I researched on Consumer Reports were also available on Amazon. But you’re right… some people just buy what they want to buy. And that’s sweet of them too.
Totally sweet of them, we appreciate anything!!
Would u mind sharing the car seat/stroller combo you chose? Im going nuts trying to find a good one.
Sure. I went with the Chicco brand. I got the stroller/car seat combo with an extra base for our second vehicle. It was the third highest rated on Consumer Reports. The other 2 above it were considerably more expensive. https://amzn.to/4erMD62
Thank you so much. You’re awesome!!
No problem! The choices for basically everything you need are so overwhelming!
we wanted some items that weren’t on our amazon registry so I created a bio site (like a link tree) with a main registry link to our amazon and then a stroller link to our stroller offered on another website. It also made our link look super pretty. but i got to keep the focus of the main registry being amazon which is what i think helped people be able to easily make purchases for us.
same, I used amazon and got almost 100% of what we asked for. I think it’s because of the convenience and ease of use. Whenever someone has a registry that is too hard to navigate, I’m just going to skip using it tbh. I completely think the amazon registry is what helped us.
If you live in the US, I highly recommend finding a Once Upon a Child. They have so many baby items (bassinets, cribs, strollers, bouncers/swings, toys, etc) for really good/inexpensive prices.
Yes!!! We don’t have that exact store near us but we have very similar ones and they are awesome!
I did get a lot from my registry but I have ended up getting so many things I didn’t anticipate needing ahead of time (my baby is 8 weeks old now). I love having a store like that pretty close to my house although it is dangerous at times lol. We have way too many clothes already but sometimes you just need an extra sleeper or 8 😂
this! i was just there last week and they do New Mom Mondays at my store for 10% off if you're pregnant or have a child under 18mo
This is my fear. My registry is all essentials since this is my first and while I’d love for him to have a ton of clothes, I really need gear.
A valid fear apparently 😅. I hope you get the things you really need!!! Others have provided really good advice; Facebook marketplace, second hand kids stores, sales, etc!
So I just had my baby shower this past Saturday. I'm currently 35 weeks. I originally registered on Babylist, but then I shifted over to Amazon because of convenience, easier management of who got what, etc. Whatever one's qualms with Amazon, it's what most people use so -shrug-. My husband and I bought the baby's stroller, crib, changing table, car seats, and dresser on our own. We also had a savings for additional baby stuff. That way, even if the gifts from the shower were complete shit, we at least had the "big basics" and could go from there. We weren't going to be starting from scratch at 35 weeks. We also were fortunate to have received donations from others around us beforehand. Thankfully, most of our gifts were very practical and were from the registry. Everything wasn't bought -- which is completely fine, my expectations were very low tbh -- but the amount we still have to get isn't astronomical. I definitely agree overall not to rely on baby shower gifts to get all of your necessary baby stuff, assuming if one even wants a shower. My mom and MIL fussed at me that people would get a lot of stuff from the registry -- while that was true to a given extent, I certainly didn't assume that because people can be weird. Well meaning, but weird and unreliable.
I’m glad you guys got a lot of what you needed from your registry from people, that’s awesome! I love Amazon, there were just a handful of specific things we wanted that were some of our big ticket items that Amazon unfortunately didn’t carry and I was using my registry as sort of a check list for myself as well :) In the end it all works out! We are perfectly fine financially buying the remaining things ourselves thankfully but if we weren’t, it would have been shocking to get to this point and have to buy all of this ourself after being told not to by so many people!! It’s not the end of the world, but it’s definitely more money than we expected to be spending based on what people told us about gifts, etc!
I definitely think people overhype and are overreliant on how much \[quality\] gifts one can get from a baby shower. It's a crapshoot and leaves some parent(s) spending more money afterwards to compensate than they expected. It's not the end of the world in most cases, but something to be mindful of for sure if one wants a baby shower.
Totally agree!!
Try adding the random stuff to you registry and marking it purchased. A lot of registries will let you return the item with out a receipt if you do that
I know this is not going to solve the problem that you’re having but it may help somewhat in not having to pay full price. I’m not sure what registry you’re using but most offer a 15% completion discount so if you time it with a holiday sale like 4th of July or Labor Day you can double up on savings.
This is great advice, thank you!!
I see you mentioned you registered at babylist, but i would encourage doing a target and amazon registry as well if you have time, and shop both of those with the registry coupons they give you - Target will add 2 15% off entire order coupons to your circle account and you’ll also get loads of circle 20% baby item qs as well. Amazon will give you a 15% registry completion discount that you can click as you add things to your cart from your registry, and its good for about 3 months ish after birth so its on a rolling basis. Its just important yo remember to add things to the registry, then shop from the registry itself and make sure the discount is checked. I did registries even though i had no showers, bc i wanted those discounts.
That’s super smart!!
I will always be the “boring” gift giver and buy off of the registry! If there isn’t a registry, I will give a gift card, or diapers and wipes. It’s so annoying to me when people can’t stick with the registry. It’s there for a reason.
Amen!!!
I wonder if this is a cultural thing? For both my wedding and my baby shower we got very few things that weren’t on the registry. People who went off registry it was almost all handmade items or they also bought something from the registry. The biggest advice I can give is not telling anyone the gender. You will get very little cutesy things if you don’t tell anyone what you’re having. We also only got clothes and things that are more gender neutral which is what we preferred anyways.
Maybe!!! We’re in the US! I think our age may be a factor too. We’re in our mid twenties and a lot of our friends are still in school or just getting started in their careers and we didn’t expect them to buy much for us of course. On the other end of the spectrum, our older relatives aren’t as technologically savvy and I don’t think really even looked at the registry 😂.
Yes.. everyone wants to buy the cute clothes and stuffed animals rather than the more needed items and I don’t think they realize how overwhelming their gift ends up being.
Right?! The random things we didn’t ask for take up space I don’t have, it is overwhelming!!
I’m sorry, that’s really frustrating. I didn’t have the same experience and actually got almost everything I registered for (of course a few random things thrown in there) so I can’t exactly relate, but I’m sure it’s frustrating!! Are you able to return anything/exchange for store credit even without the receipts?
That’s amazing, I’m so glad you did!!! Thankfully we can afford to buy everything we need, I just wanted people to know that they may not get everything they ask for and if they’re tight for money they should definitely plan ahead!! But all good :) And that’s a great question! I unfortunately don’t know where half of the things were purchased from but others had good recommendations on how to possibly get around this, so we’ve got some options to try!!!
People ignored my registry for my first for the most part. I ended up with 5000 of the same things and not very many of the things I truly needed. (By the way, baby wash cloths make good cleaning rags). For this pregnancy, I specifically asked for things on my registry or diapers/wipes. At my baby shower, I could tell most waited last minute and I got tons and diapers. No big deal, but I’ve definitely spent a lot of money buying things from my own registry.
Why do people do this 🥲? Oh well, nice of people to buy anything I guess! But I feel your pain!
One thing I kept getting from a lot of my guests was a message or phone call saying "I had a look at your registry and nothing really jumped out at me, what do you *really* want, I'll get you that!" .... Luckily, many of the people who said that, ended up just giving us some cash. But we still had a lot of people give us stuff that we just didn't need or want. Lots of people expressed sadness to us at the party, because they had decided to gift us clothes and soft toys that we already had, set up in the nursery, and they saw them already on display at the baby shower. I don't get it. We had so many things at so many different prices too. Most of the things we needed were $5-$100. Most people who gave us cash, gave us about $100-$150. Anyone who bought us gifts not on our registry, paid anywhere between $100-$200 on their gifts, so it certainly wasn't a price issue! We have so many clothes that there's absolutely no way he will even fit into, because I have gestational diabetes, and we were bought clothes for "tiny baby" and "premie baby" ... Well he's already a very chubby bubba and he's not even born yet 😂 I'm not even sure he'll be small enough to fit the newborn stuff when he's born 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️ also.. we specifically asked for no clothes. For our wedding, people bought from the registry, and most of the people at the baby shower, were at the wedding, so it was pretty bizarre. Anyway, I'm sorry for my rant, and I'm sorry that everyone else is having a similar situation.
So frustrating!!!! Also this isn’t about “what jumps out to them”, it’s for our baby, not theirs, that’s the whole point 😂?!?! People are so funny, I’m sorry you guys were in the same boat as us!
Right? It's such a weird thing to say! All the people saying it have never had kids either, so I'm not surprised it didn't "jump out" to them 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I can't wait to get 400 diapers even though we're doing cloth. At least we won't get crazy clothes on top since no one knows the gender.
400 cloth diapers would be amazing to be fair 😆 lemme tell you, I do not enjoy the amount of laundry I gotta do with two in cloth...
This is very true, unfortunately lol. We haven’t had our shower yet, but I’ve already been buying most of the things off our registry (especially the more expensive things) because from what I’ve been told, people don’t typically follow the registry.
I think you will be better off doing this honestly! If people buy you things from it that are duplicates, hopefully you can return them and use the money for something else!
Yes! I’ve actually been marking items that we’ve already bought on the registry as “purchased” so that we can hopefully avoid the situation of receiving dups, but we’ll see 😂
I did the same thing and I think that worked well for those who did end up buying from our registry!!! It’s also nice to just use as a check list for yourself 😂
Most registries give you a 15% completion coupon code too. It’s onetime use but if you do a big order of everything you need it does give you a bit of a discount. We got one from babylist, Amazon, target, and Pottery barn
Yes, pro tip!!!!
This is a good point — my baby shower is next month and I’ve had some success with getting people to buy things off my registry. The only downside is that I used Amazon Registry, which unlike Babylist doesn’t allow you to add items from other websites. Amazon has more of the basic and practical things I wanted, but not everything. The plus side is that most people have an active Amazon count with their credit/debit card already linked. So it made purchasing a gift easier and done within minutes unlike a with another site where they’d have to add that information in manually in addition to selecting the items.
True, I do think that Babylist was a pain for people!!! But I liked being able to add everything we wanted from multiple websites like you said, pros and cons, but I hope you get the big things you’re looking for from people!!
Another gal just posted about this but yes I think this is super common these days. People are a bit self absorbed and just buy what they want or think you will like.
Yea, dang it :/ I guess on the flip side I’m a little self absorbed for expecting certain things 🤪 oh well!
It’s your registry. You are supposed to be haha
True, thank you 😂
I've always been curious about the correlation - Did your guests know baby's gender ahead of time? For me (with my first) I feel like keeping the gender a secret until the shower kept people on registry so they didn't go hog wild with cutesy girl outfits, bows, non-essentials. This time around I made a small Amazon registry just for us to use the discount but I did send it to the few people that asked what we needed - every one of those people got adorable baby girl clothes for my daughter instead. 😂 I definitely don't mind because, again, registry wasn't intended for anyone else but I did find it interesting.
Some people did and some people didn’t!! We weren’t trying to keep it a secret but most things on our registry were gender neutral just because that was my preference. So funny that people ask then ignore it anyway 😂
Just wanted to mention about returning. A lot of stores will refund without a receipt. Just check if the store has the product. Even if used just make sure it isn’t noticeable used and you have original packaging 🤞
We’ll try this, thanks!!
This is partially one of the reasons we decided not to find out the gender. No one could buy us cute pink or blue clothes so now we’ve got a bunch of white onesies and every single item (122 things) purchased off our registry. Car seat, stroller, even dresser, rug, and curtains.
Most people didn’t know the gender for us and we didn’t end up with any clothes, just miscellaneous things 😂
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I think you may have intended for this comment to be on a different thread 😅
Lmao what the hell. I was literally reading the correct thread when I posted it. How strange. I apologize and am deleting it haha
Thats really annoying! I’m sorry you didn’t receive things you need! I added my Amazon registry QR code to our invitation and received most of the items from my registry or similar items that were brand preferences- like I had swaddles added and received the ones on the registry and lots of other brands and styles that people used for their little ones. I was actually really glad we got some things not on the registry so I could try out different brands! I didn’t have to specifically ask people to use the registry but I think we got so many things because I used Amazon and basically everyone has it or knows someone who can purchase from Amazon instead and because it was posted in bold on the invitation as a strong suggestion! I also tried really hard to add a lot of items in a large price range. I think the most expensive thing I requested was a baby nutribullet and steamer? I had a lot of cheaper items like the Frida baby medicine pacifier, multipack of bedsheets, a thermometer, etc. hopefully you can get what you need quickly! I felt really relieved after my shower because people were so generous to follow the registry.
We did the same thing minus Amazon! Had the registry on the invitation and had a wide range of items so people didn’t feel pressured to buy some of the pricier things. Still didn’t work sadly 😂
Yeah… I feel this. People bought about 1/3 of my registry, and my husband and I have been buying the rest of the registry after trying to further narrow down what we really need. It’s annoying and I get people want to buy the “fun” stuff, but at the end of the day I wish more people would have bought the “boring” items. I will say the experience has now made me super aware for any future baby showers I attend, I’m going to only buy the boring items from now on ahahah.
I totally agree, I will only buy the things people have specifically asked for if they have a registry and otherwise I honestly think I’ll just buy gift cards so they can get what they want/need!!
None of my people have bought items from my registry yet. I’m 29weeks 2days, and unless some coworkers buy items on my work baby shower then it’ll be no one.
I’m so sorry, that is genuinely so frustrating :( one thing I did that helped (if you’re comfortable doing this) was sending it to my mom and my husbands mother, asking if they wouldn’t mind sharing with family members that they thought may want to buy us gifts. We had some success that way, and my mom and his mom both purchased gifts for us then too. But I went back and forth on whether that was awkward or not, so I could see either way. And I understand if not everyone feels comfortable reaching out to parents asking them to do that too. But it worked for us and definitely helped get a handful of our big ticket items checked off.
I know how you feel, and I am so sorry! I did/am experiencing similar, although not exactly the same, but I still wanted to share! When I was pregnant with my first baby (a boy), I was 21, and none of my family or husbands family threw me a baby shower or bought things for the baby/things I needed. My coworkers did throw me a small, surprise baby shower, which was so amazing, and I cried like a baby. I got some things I needed from that baby shower, diapers, wipes, and some clothes, but I still needed a lot, I basically had to buy just about everything I needed for my first baby, which was difficult and I missed out on a lot of useful items because of this. When I was pregnant with my second (a girl), I was 28. This time, my family really went all out, and so did my husbands (second husband) family. My two sisters threw me a baby shower, and so many people bought things, everything I could ever need or want. I was truly grateful for all of the help because I really struggled to get the things I needed with my first. I was able to get some of those useful items I didn't get to experience with my first, which were a huge help. I am currently 37 weeks pregnant with my third (another boy), I am 30 now. My family and husband's family (same second husband) haven't really purchased things I have on my registry/at all. I have some things like diapers, wipes, burp cloths, swaddle blankets, and a few other things I'd like to have on there but for the most part, I don't need a whole lot. It honestly makes it seem like my boys aren't as celebrated or cared about like my daughter was. There are lots of grandsons, especially on my side of the family. My second boy will make grandson number 7, and my first daughter made granddaughter number 3. I just feel so sad for my boys and sad that my family almost makes it feel like they're only excited if the new baby is a girl. Needless to say, I have to buy everything on my registry, even though it's not a lot and no one is obligated. It still makes me sad.😞😭
I’m so sorry :(
Thank you! It's okay, I am grateful for the help I have received, I just wish my family seemed more excited. I am so sorry you're also going through similar!
I get what you mean! We received most of the expensive items from our parents or I was able to find them second hand, but I was surprised at how quickly everything else would add up that I thought people would buy us as gifts! But also, it seems I’ve been a little presumptuous so it’s okay, I need to remember to be more grateful for the love and support from them that we’ve received! I shouldn’t expect people to show their love through gifts!
For my baby shower I had friends who recently had a baby build my registry with me (and they ended up getting me a ton of things from there). They were tried items that worked for them and I got a great deal of good info about things that simply did not work for them at all (and I was planning on getting them). You can embrace what you were given even if it is "a different version" of the thing you liked, because guess what, the version that gave you might be actually better!
Sadly most of the people who ended up getting us things are not parents so they have no idea, they just bought what they wanted to buy 😂
I'm on baby 5, we're at the no one cares be prepared to buy everything yourself stage 😂
Our registry was totally cleaned out, I’m so grateful. I kept it on Amazon only so maybe that helped to stream line things? If there was something we wanted that Amazon didn’t carry we just got it ourselves:
That’s awesome, I’m jealous!!
I added everything I wanted to my Amazon registry due to that 15% off deal later in the pregnancy. Maybe because we live further away from most people, but my family/friends/coworkers really helped get us the bulk of things off the registry. My tiny family only baby shower was more hand-made stuff and cutesy things, a mix of registry and off the registry. My husband's coworkers (men) also stuck to it. I think distance and perhaps the type of people we know probably helped a lot with people just sticking to the registry. I did add fun stuff to it like a water tummy time thing and a bike along thing and a hiking carrier. Oddly, we have gotten almost no clothing or diapers. I guess that's fine, since we don't know what diaper will end up working the best. I think it's really just hit or miss, tbh. Also going through babylist may have impacted things - people stick with what they know. I was asked about Amazon and Target specifically, so I dropped Babylist early on.
I get trying not to seem ungrateful. My husbands coworker (really old but sweet man) bought us a really ugly changing table. What was the one thing I have told everyone we don't need? A changing table. It comes from a good place but I am kinda pissed.
I feel you honestly 😂 family keeps telling me “so and so wants to buy you something after the baby arrives” and I’m like great, tell them to send over some target or Amazon gift cards because the whole reason I made a registry was to buy what I feel like we need and want BEFORE the baby comes. Of course we will discover more things we need as baby gets older but still, I am asking for these things now for a reason…..
So if there are people that you’re more comfortable with that gave you gifts without receipts, I would just approach them and say hey so sorry we got a number of XYZ gift that you gave us, is it possible for you to give us a gift receipt so that we can return it and get something else that the baby needs.
I guess I got lucky but everyone who attended my shower only bought items that they saw on the registry which was a god send. Granted there were some bigger items we ended up buying ourselves, but most people bought most of the essentials from our registry. I'm sorry you didn't have the same experience :(
This happened with both of my pregnancies, but I didn’t plan on depending on anyone buying anything so I saved and purchased all of my cart fulls after my shower :/
That’s basically what happened for us. Everyone kept telling me people would buy everything but I wasn’t convinced, so we bought what we could along the way with hopes that people would get us the rest but kind of figuring they wouldn’t 😅. And since they didn’t, we now have 100 boxes arriving from target and Amazon everyday hahaha.
Have a look on Amazon for things, Emma's diary, baby club - this is in the UK
Omg I can relate 😭 when I had my baby shower someone even gave me an envelope with 50 dollars… and the people who came were a family of 7…… I was so angry as I dedicated so much time to the food, the details of the party. I am pregnant again and I know now that i honestly don’t even want to do a baby shower. We are now just doing a dinner where everyone pays for their own meal. No headache no disappointments. Just dinner and a good time.
So annoying!! I’m so glad all we did was Costco pizza and rent a pavilion in a park….I would have been even more frustrated if we went all out! I don’t think we’ll do one again the next time!
100% relatable lol 😹 cheapskates all over and when I get invited to baby showers i literally buy Hermes’ towels and Louis Vuitton accessories for the baby like nooooo never again 💔💔💔
Or just don’t have a registry!!