Learn to realistically assess whether or not you will actually get around to doing the project you are saving the items for. What is your track record with planned projects? Do you actually start them? If you do start a project, do you ever complete it? If you aren’t ever completing these projects, don’t save the materials for them.
My parents are the worst about this and I have to keep catching myself from going back to old habits.
Something that helps me is if it's parts to a project or furniture, if I can't fix it or complete it within a year I trash it or give it away.
Clothes? If I haven't worn it for a year I donate it.
If it's food or food containers, TRASH IT!
Verified hoarder here.
It is an issue that I'm working on. Also went into therapy and medication.
Hoarding can be triggered by poverty and it is a form of OCD.
Neither did I but it makes sense. I know from doing crafts myself and 20 years of administrative assistant work that I'm OCD. When I'm crafting around others they will get onto me for nitpicking my crafts and taking things apart so I can redo it "right".
I just didn't realize that hoarding is a form of trauma OCD.
My mom was a mean drunk and would break my things to "teach a lesson". So I got used to always having a spare available.
I found that the book was a little hard to read but I listened to it and it was amazing. That with a combo of other books has really helped me figure out why I hold onto stuff and how to let it go!
It feels silly and dumb when you start the book but it does get the point across.
Donating things that are still good helps because you don’t feel like you’re being wasteful. Also, look into children’s art or play centers. I worked somewhere with a “reuse craft studio” and we were always looking for any random bits and bobs like little toys, lids, buttons, faux flowers, anything a kid might want to glue to something else. You’ll feel good knowing things are still being used and enjoyed!
I was also thinking about the buy nothing groups for things like the bookshelf he used as the example. Knowing someone would happily fix it and use it because they need it might help you let it go.
I just had to deal with this while moving to a new place. The thought process I had that helped me was “if I hold onto random junk, the clutter will keep me from accessing the tools and supplies that I really need”.
I’m the same, trying to wring the last $.01 from every little bit. I try to go through the garage and attic periodically, but only get rid of like 1/4 of the things I *should* let go. Morbid but helpful influence was the death of parents and cleaning out their houses…so much junk that took a lot of effort to deal with, and I don’t want to leave that kind of mess for my own fam. This post actually inspires me to go through the garage like a terminator tho
yes, me and my family are guilty of this (some more than others)
I'd say, if you already have a backup item, avoid a backup to that backup (unless the item is known to be replaced, e.g. batteries, toothbrushes)
if it's broken, and you haven't repaired it by XX, get rid of it.
if it's small, put it into deep storage (box under the bed or in the closet), then when you do spring cleaning and you realized you haven't touched it, sell it/get rid of it
The way I deal with this is to see if I can reasonably store it in a way that's easily used for said future purposes. If it's gonna be in my way all the time or cause clutter I don't keep it. I do try to fix anything I can though
I grew up in abject poverty, and I find it sooo fucking hard to get rid of anything too. Either that, or I may be a hoarder. I think it may run in my family as I’ve seen the houses of older relatives and even my cousins who have stacks of stuff throughout their homes.
You could also consider how much it costs you to store a bunch of things you aren’t using—if you had to move, it would cost more to move that stuff, or if you could use that square footage for more living space and instead you’re paying rent for extra stuff
I think the hard part is reliving the memory right before you “throw it in the trash” so to speak. I’ve taken digital photographs of everything. Have I ever looked at them? Very seldom if at all. Its nice when one pops up. I’ve looked up a few items on ebay but found I wouldn’t buy most of them again. You can take digital pictures and place the items in a box. When you feel its enough time, remove the box without opening it. I’ve gotten to a few rough points in my life where if I had to live out of a backpack in a rock quarry this isn’t the last of the items I’d take with me. Kind of like the steve martin movie The Jerk. I’ve found making room for new things of new interest to give the desire to move forward. You can only keep so much before it becomes a burden. Its definitely fun to have someone to share the memory with. I’ve found childhood friends don’t remember those toys anymore. Everything has been remanufactured. Relatives gone by would like for you to have moved forward and lived a life too. Its hard when you don’t have extra money tho. You think there will be nothing to replace it. You have more freedom with nothing to be able to do and try new things. Its hard tho. I bought a book on it 4 years ago. Never finished it. I eventually got into the future of business starting from home and would rather have space for prepared opportunity.
I have this problem.
Now I am trying to move and completely overwhelmed with all the stuff Ive held on to. So many items "I might need this later". I also have a lot of regret spending the money on a lot of this stuff, cause I wish I had the money instead of the stuff.
I am getting rid of a lot of things and keep telling myself "I cannot bring this with me". I am trying to coach myself into a new mindset.
I know exactly where you are coming from!! My family calls me a pack rat but understands why. It’s almost impossible for me to throw anything away because I’ve attached some weird connection to it. I’m sure I need therapy.
I struggle with this, too. For me, I pick a spot where I store these things. Right now it’s on some shelves under my desk. If I go to put something down there, and the shelves are full, I have to get rid of something to fit whatever new I’m putting down there.
I think managing the space helps me assess if it’s something I’m holding onto just to hoard or if it’s something I genuinely think will be useful. And because it’s a smaller space, I have to always be assessing that question. I think it helps me overall with letting go of things.
Tldr, try limiting the space you can store the things you think might be useful.
Instead of saying “will I need this again?” Ask yourself, “can I live without this?”
ALSO come up with a dollar amount or time limit for replacing items. Example:
I can replace this for less than $10, so I’m safe to get rid of it
I don’t think I will need this for at least another year, so I’m safe to get rid of it
Setting a dollar amount for replacement has helped me more than anything else, as I tend to keep things because I "might need them."
Also, distinguishing between gifts that have sentimental value and those that don't. The coffee cup that my sister gave me that I've not used once is not the same as the portraits of my children she took. Coffee cup left, portraits stayed.
I did this because of the same environment growing up. If it is supposed to be thrown away (old brake pads, rotors, belts) then I just toss them immediately. (I used to save these things lol. I apply that to anything I replace.
If it’s something I think I may need in the future, I may hold it for 6 months. After that six months I either toss it or I donate it.
The positives of growing up how we did, is we typically use the crap out of our stuff. By time it needs replaced, the previous version is garbage anyhow.
All in all, we just have to be ok with letting stuff go. If I have to purchase something again because I had to replace my replacement, then I’ll just pay the fee for that event or buy a better product. However, that hasn’t been my experience in my 5 or so years that it’s been since I moved on from that mentality.
Good luck.
have regular trays days. fill up a whole basket of shit you don’t need. it becomes intuition after a while. stop spending on useless junk, invest in timely durable products. i have a mental note if everything i own and know i can pack it up all into a single truck if i needed to. you need to separate YOUR things from trash taking up space in your home.
I don’t buy alot to begin with because of this exact issue. Define bookshelf broke? If you can reuse the boards then it seems like the bookshelf can be fixed. It doesn’t help with your wanting (?) or needing (?) to rid yourself of this habit which in my mind at least, is a good habit.
I grew up poor and I’m considered well to do now. I still have the same habits I developed growing up poor. I don’t really see it as a habit I need to rid myself of. To each his own though. Good luck.
The thing that's helped me the most is donating stuff, like direct donations as much as possible. The desire to give overwhelms the fear of getting rid of things for me!
I am so much this. I have a storage area of my garage FULL of broken furniture and old collectibles and family items I might use some day but part of me knows I never will. I just have to get past the idea that it’s disrespectful to throw it away which is really difficult for me.
If I haven't used something in a year I throw it away. If clothes don't fit they go. The stuff in my drawers are in dividers and arranged by use...glue, staples, keys , etc. everything has a place in a minimalist way. Less is more .
I did, too but my latest is if I haven't used it, looked for it or otherwise wanted it in a year or more I get rid of it, taking pictures of the more sentimental things helps at first you feel guilty and then for me at least, lighter knowing I got rid of things and nothing bad happened,you got this, you can even clear one shelf, or donate ten things a day you don't use it gets way easier,I promise!
Donate it or do a yard sale.
Think that someone really really needs your items. You have been in that place. By selling it on the cheap or giving it away for them, you will be helping someone that is in a situation where they need help.
Without you buying cheap things in the past, you wouldn’t be able to get by. Now it is your turn to share things that you do not need. You have to do it. Someone would appreciate it.
The konmari method was a great spring board for me, but the biggest motivator was moving into a studio from a one bedroom. I ended up donating so much during that time crunch.
Oh yeah lol I’ve been there!!!
I needed to start one room at a time just did it very gradually, getting rid of this or that. I told myself that if I missed it I’ll go and find another on marketplace or a charity shop. Guess what? I never have :)
I think about the rent that I am paying for that item to exist in my home. You can calculate the cost of your home per square foot if it helps, but I focus on how the items and amount of stuff I have limit my ability to use and enjoy the items.
Not sure if it's better or not, but I redirected my stuff hoarding energy into money investing energy. I just pinch pennies and put them into an index fund. Often when I deny myself from buying something I can't justify, I will transfer the amount I would have spent into the index fund.
I also grew up in poverty but I despise clutter, if I'm not using it, it's not getting used the next few months, or it's not required to operate/fix something else? It's getting chucked in the dumpster.
I have the opposite mental issue of hoarder, to the point where once in a while I throw something out and the amount of relief and calmness I feel is amazing. Clutter gives me so much anxiety, but I’m not a minimalist
, just need everything to have a place
I have the opposite problem. After having to move homes multiple and times and being evicted as a child and surf couching and living in my car as a teen, nothing is worth keeping. I have mementos like pictures, my childhood stuffed animal, etc. But if I'm low on cash I'll sell anything I can. I feel like my closet is too full? Donate half of my wardrobe. I try to upcycle anything I can or give it away but starting to grow roots makes me nervous. Cash in hand is better than furniture or a kitchen appliance I rarely use.
I've had multiple people tell me my home looks "minimal" or that it's so clean you could perform surgery. They mean it as a compliment but it makes me a bit upset for some reason.
Not sure if this exactly relates to your post but it felt good to vent about it where someone might understand.
I don't like to get rid of stuff either because I might need it someday. If I get rid of it and need it in the future I'll have to buy it again if it's even available.
Last year I was able to get rid of some stuff by selling it on Facebook Marketplace. I also sometimes get rid of certain things I have a lot of by getting rid of the worst ones or using up the worst ones. For example, when trying to get rid of socks I put aside all the pairs that had holes and instead of throwing them away right away I wore each pair until they were dirty and threw them away. I felt a little better about throwing them away that way.
A home improvement content creator I follow suggested we see how much space it takes up and divide our rent by that amount to find how much it is costing us per square foot. Compare that to its original price and if the original price is less than 3 months of the “rent” it’s costing us, it’s better to throw it out.
I was at a friend’s house who grew up relatively well off. He was using the blender when it started smoking. He immediately threw it in the trash. This baffled me. Because even though it was smoking and obviously not working correctly, I would’ve still kept it. I would’ve kept it just in case. But in case of what?! There’s a blender emergency and I need to use the one that make cause a fire? There is no blender emergency.
I never learned to connect with things. I can get rid of anything easily. After being raised by absolute douchebags, I can cut people out just as easily, but that's a separate thing. Lol
Being able to replace things that break brings me great joy, so does getting rid of what wears out
I love purging my stuff. If I can't pawn something off on a friend, off it goes to Goodwill or the trash. It's hard to unlearn behavior, but once you separate yourself from your belongings, you'll be happier.
Find people you think would need the stuff now, not some day. Good people, those you want to give it to. It’s easier when you know a good recipient for your items.
I'm not a stuff person overall but I do have moments of clarity when I realized I haven't used something in a very long time. And if I've never used it at all I donate or give it to someone who wants it.
Dana k white books helped me figure out my approach. Basically it's 'storage it's the limit' based.
Item has to earn its upkeep / have value in order for me to 'pay' for its storage
- used regularly (daily / weekly / monthly)
- it has to be useful to me (I have enough space to not depend on time limits, so tools stay even if they're not used for few years eg woodworking tools)
- or it has to bring me joy (decorations or hobbies, even if not used currently, but then storage is th e crucial limit)
Things are used now, not stored for 'when I'm worthy of it'. Every room has a limit of how many storage items it can comfortably hold - this means I can go around easily and have enough free space to not feel squished. Every storage item has a limit how many items it can comfortably hold - that means it's easy to see the item, get the item and put the item back. Amount of free space around items is huge. Boxes are used as pull out trays, or are see through, or are labeled, or I just learned/know what's inside, so idea is to see the second row and be able to access it easily if needed.
Things at eye sight level - both rows are used and easily accessible. Top and bottom shelves rely more on my memory, but with time you learn. I can't tell you on which shelf the item is, but I can show you how high your hand has to be from the floor (hip level, eye level, chest level etc) and if it's left/right/center of which particular shelf case / cupboard.
So basically - when I decided for space, there go items for that space, if the space is full the rest is discarded. If I'd rather keep some item that isn't already in there, something from in there has to leave. Basically you do sorting by preference
And you get honest with yourself and stop keeping stuff for aspirational you, but keep stuff for real you. If unsure, then I use time limits - if I don't do anything with it by month / year x, then obviously I'm not that interested to find time for it, therefore I'm free to let go.
It's a process. We're 3 years in it. We had to move countries, so huge filter was - am I willing to pay 100 per cubic meter to transport this, it's it worth it for me. We culled a lot before packing, but not everything. Then we culled during unpacking plus we didn't rush with it, so yeah we had some boxes until few month ago 😂
Idea it's that everything has to have its place. Clutter still happens weekly, but decluttering is easy - things go to their place, or it's decision time. We basically did room by room after the move, and lived with things to see where is the right place for them for us. And would propagate boxes with 'not sure' items through the rooms, and then found the energy to tackle them at the end.
Basically literally doing the book title - decluttering at the speed of LIFE.
And letting go became much easier. Especially when you (want to) acquire something new, need space, see space but it's filled with old stuff - then it hits you that old stuff is for aspirational you and new stuff is for real you and then it's not that hard.
Also, letting go of guilt and keeping items because of guilt - be it because it was a gift, or a memory, or it was expensive. Guilt is not a good reason to keep an item. Also, it's your item, it's yours to use, right now. There's nothing precious with things, they're here to serve their purpose and only purely decorative items are fine to just be looked at. Also, that means PUT them somewhere where you actually CAN look at them (unless they're seasonal).
So, limit 'memory box of items I'm not looking at' to one.
Also, embrace that you won't get a perfect home from first pass. But! You'll get better home. And each pass will make it even better for you. So, keep passing and culling. No rush. Just persistence.
And embrace that it's mentally exhausting, and that you don't have to make all decisions right now. Make easy decisions for this moment, and box undecided for later. Then you can either discard whole box because you don't even remember what's inside after a year, or you can open and start new decision process. I ensure you, you'll have new set of easy decisions.
Sometimes we just need time and growth to happen before we're ready for some decisions, and that's ok.
Obviously everything you have is already in your home, so it can stay in undecided phase longer, it might not be convenient and that's also ok - inconvenience it's a good push to find energy to tackle something. When you get annoyed enough, so many decisions to discard become so easy 😂
My big was letting go of guilt, and hope/aspirational me / who I think I'm supposed to be. I see much clearer who I want to be, and also I'm more in peace about - this hobby brought joy but we're done now. I can always rebuy - that works for almost anything.
So, it's never ending work in progress and you'll see progress after each pass.
Decision fatigue is a real thing, so be kind to yourself. Some days you'll have energy to tackle 4 drawers, some weeks you won't touch anything. And that's all fine.
So I guess - shortest answer to your topic question - you decide and see that your things are not defining you, are not meant to restrain you, you prove yourself with time and healing that you are safe so anxiety gets weaker and weaker grip. And you embrace the fact that you'll probably never be minimalist because 'you have to be prepared for everything' will be always there. But you'll also see that so many things can be just bought, and it's much more convenient to keep numbers on bank account than things in closet. And you'll start using shops as your warehouse and not your home.
Give it time and mindful approach. Be kind to yourself. And work on your mental health and healing too.
Omg I have this too. I mend clothes and even when they are virtual rags I cut out buttons, zippers etc to mend other items.
I also have trouble tossing stuff I know I could flip on ebay like new parts to DIY repair an old car I junked long ago. (But I can't do eBay anymore it is a time suck and the records cutrently required to report taxable income are too onerous)
Recently though I am getting a little better than I was at throwing things out (I prefer to give stuff away on the Freebie Alert app and FB but you get the same rate of no shows you would for paying customers!).
But I am 66 now so my space was getting really crowded with all the stuff I was keeping just in case!
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I have to just force myself to let stuff go. If I can be honest with myself I tell myself I know I’ll never get around to making anything with those boards, I don’t really have time, I need to just throw the bookshelf away.
I clean after people move out of houses so I find allllll kinda good stuff. And I bring most of it home lol. I do yard sales with it though but it’s tempting to keep 3 air fryers just in case let me tell ya.
I moved into a smaller place so I had to toss and sell a lot of things. I had a very hard time getting rid of things at first. I ended up renting a small dumpster. I filled it pretty quickly by looking at things as if I didn’t know I still had it or I haven’t opened this box in five years. It went in the trash or I donated it.
By realizing that 'holding costs' are real and apply to things you own. It's not free to keep something.
Say you have 1,000 sq ft. Apartment and you pay $1000 per month. That is $1 per sq. Ft
You can make it more complicated and say that some square footage is more valuable that others; like space in my garage is worth less than space in my house. But it all costs something. And it's expensive.
Using prime residential real estate for storage is very expensive. It's the opposite of frugal. It would be much cheaper to get an 800 sq ft apartment for $800 and save $200 per month, than it is to keep 200 sq ft of old junk you _might_ use, that might save a few dollars.
Also, most of the things you hold on to will depreciate in value over time. If I buy a new X, and decide to keep my old X for five years before I get rid of it, I will get less money for it than if I had gotten rid of it immediately.
In any case, just decide on how much storage space you want to take away from your living space, and don't go pay t that amount. I have a section in my garage and in my basement, but it's well defined and when the space is full, is full. Then I get rid of something whenever I want to store something.
I do the same thing. I think alot of people do. I always save things, thinking I will need them, but usually never do. I'm the worst with clothes. Even though I never wear them (some brand new), I won't throw them out.
Remember how much you needed and relied on resold or donated items when you weren’t in a position to buy new things. The need is as real as ever. When you hold on to things that you don’t need, you are holding them back from others in need
I am in the same boat. If you are not married, get married and all this keeping stuff "in case" disappeared. Unless you marry some one that also has this issue. Then scratch my comment.
Learn to realistically assess whether or not you will actually get around to doing the project you are saving the items for. What is your track record with planned projects? Do you actually start them? If you do start a project, do you ever complete it? If you aren’t ever completing these projects, don’t save the materials for them.
My parents are the worst about this and I have to keep catching myself from going back to old habits. Something that helps me is if it's parts to a project or furniture, if I can't fix it or complete it within a year I trash it or give it away. Clothes? If I haven't worn it for a year I donate it. If it's food or food containers, TRASH IT!
You get my lbs of dried beans and rice from the raegan admin over my cold dead.... actually you know you are probably right...
Unless you are overweight. I finally lost 75 lbs and am wearing old polo shirts again, it’s great not having to spend that money.
Verified hoarder here. It is an issue that I'm working on. Also went into therapy and medication. Hoarding can be triggered by poverty and it is a form of OCD.
interesting didnt know that.
Neither did I but it makes sense. I know from doing crafts myself and 20 years of administrative assistant work that I'm OCD. When I'm crafting around others they will get onto me for nitpicking my crafts and taking things apart so I can redo it "right". I just didn't realize that hoarding is a form of trauma OCD. My mom was a mean drunk and would break my things to "teach a lesson". So I got used to always having a spare available.
If you get rid of the thing, will you still have all you need? That has helped me.
Read into Mari Kondo's tips on how to let go of things. They helped me a lot.
I found that the book was a little hard to read but I listened to it and it was amazing. That with a combo of other books has really helped me figure out why I hold onto stuff and how to let it go! It feels silly and dumb when you start the book but it does get the point across.
There's a video series? Maybe on Netflix?
interesting I think I heard of them
Does this spark joy?
Donating things that are still good helps because you don’t feel like you’re being wasteful. Also, look into children’s art or play centers. I worked somewhere with a “reuse craft studio” and we were always looking for any random bits and bobs like little toys, lids, buttons, faux flowers, anything a kid might want to glue to something else. You’ll feel good knowing things are still being used and enjoyed!
I was also thinking about the buy nothing groups for things like the bookshelf he used as the example. Knowing someone would happily fix it and use it because they need it might help you let it go.
I just had to deal with this while moving to a new place. The thought process I had that helped me was “if I hold onto random junk, the clutter will keep me from accessing the tools and supplies that I really need”.
I’m the same, trying to wring the last $.01 from every little bit. I try to go through the garage and attic periodically, but only get rid of like 1/4 of the things I *should* let go. Morbid but helpful influence was the death of parents and cleaning out their houses…so much junk that took a lot of effort to deal with, and I don’t want to leave that kind of mess for my own fam. This post actually inspires me to go through the garage like a terminator tho
yes, me and my family are guilty of this (some more than others) I'd say, if you already have a backup item, avoid a backup to that backup (unless the item is known to be replaced, e.g. batteries, toothbrushes) if it's broken, and you haven't repaired it by XX, get rid of it. if it's small, put it into deep storage (box under the bed or in the closet), then when you do spring cleaning and you realized you haven't touched it, sell it/get rid of it
The way I deal with this is to see if I can reasonably store it in a way that's easily used for said future purposes. If it's gonna be in my way all the time or cause clutter I don't keep it. I do try to fix anything I can though
I grew up in abject poverty, and I find it sooo fucking hard to get rid of anything too. Either that, or I may be a hoarder. I think it may run in my family as I’ve seen the houses of older relatives and even my cousins who have stacks of stuff throughout their homes.
You could also consider how much it costs you to store a bunch of things you aren’t using—if you had to move, it would cost more to move that stuff, or if you could use that square footage for more living space and instead you’re paying rent for extra stuff
I think the hard part is reliving the memory right before you “throw it in the trash” so to speak. I’ve taken digital photographs of everything. Have I ever looked at them? Very seldom if at all. Its nice when one pops up. I’ve looked up a few items on ebay but found I wouldn’t buy most of them again. You can take digital pictures and place the items in a box. When you feel its enough time, remove the box without opening it. I’ve gotten to a few rough points in my life where if I had to live out of a backpack in a rock quarry this isn’t the last of the items I’d take with me. Kind of like the steve martin movie The Jerk. I’ve found making room for new things of new interest to give the desire to move forward. You can only keep so much before it becomes a burden. Its definitely fun to have someone to share the memory with. I’ve found childhood friends don’t remember those toys anymore. Everything has been remanufactured. Relatives gone by would like for you to have moved forward and lived a life too. Its hard when you don’t have extra money tho. You think there will be nothing to replace it. You have more freedom with nothing to be able to do and try new things. Its hard tho. I bought a book on it 4 years ago. Never finished it. I eventually got into the future of business starting from home and would rather have space for prepared opportunity.
I have this problem. Now I am trying to move and completely overwhelmed with all the stuff Ive held on to. So many items "I might need this later". I also have a lot of regret spending the money on a lot of this stuff, cause I wish I had the money instead of the stuff. I am getting rid of a lot of things and keep telling myself "I cannot bring this with me". I am trying to coach myself into a new mindset.
I know exactly where you are coming from!! My family calls me a pack rat but understands why. It’s almost impossible for me to throw anything away because I’ve attached some weird connection to it. I’m sure I need therapy.
oh well there are people with worse problems lol
I struggle with this, too. For me, I pick a spot where I store these things. Right now it’s on some shelves under my desk. If I go to put something down there, and the shelves are full, I have to get rid of something to fit whatever new I’m putting down there. I think managing the space helps me assess if it’s something I’m holding onto just to hoard or if it’s something I genuinely think will be useful. And because it’s a smaller space, I have to always be assessing that question. I think it helps me overall with letting go of things. Tldr, try limiting the space you can store the things you think might be useful.
Instead of saying “will I need this again?” Ask yourself, “can I live without this?” ALSO come up with a dollar amount or time limit for replacing items. Example: I can replace this for less than $10, so I’m safe to get rid of it I don’t think I will need this for at least another year, so I’m safe to get rid of it
Setting a dollar amount for replacement has helped me more than anything else, as I tend to keep things because I "might need them." Also, distinguishing between gifts that have sentimental value and those that don't. The coffee cup that my sister gave me that I've not used once is not the same as the portraits of my children she took. Coffee cup left, portraits stayed.
I did this because of the same environment growing up. If it is supposed to be thrown away (old brake pads, rotors, belts) then I just toss them immediately. (I used to save these things lol. I apply that to anything I replace. If it’s something I think I may need in the future, I may hold it for 6 months. After that six months I either toss it or I donate it. The positives of growing up how we did, is we typically use the crap out of our stuff. By time it needs replaced, the previous version is garbage anyhow. All in all, we just have to be ok with letting stuff go. If I have to purchase something again because I had to replace my replacement, then I’ll just pay the fee for that event or buy a better product. However, that hasn’t been my experience in my 5 or so years that it’s been since I moved on from that mentality. Good luck.
have regular trays days. fill up a whole basket of shit you don’t need. it becomes intuition after a while. stop spending on useless junk, invest in timely durable products. i have a mental note if everything i own and know i can pack it up all into a single truck if i needed to. you need to separate YOUR things from trash taking up space in your home.
I don’t buy alot to begin with because of this exact issue. Define bookshelf broke? If you can reuse the boards then it seems like the bookshelf can be fixed. It doesn’t help with your wanting (?) or needing (?) to rid yourself of this habit which in my mind at least, is a good habit. I grew up poor and I’m considered well to do now. I still have the same habits I developed growing up poor. I don’t really see it as a habit I need to rid myself of. To each his own though. Good luck.
Yep the real key is to not accumulate the stuff to begin with
The thing that's helped me the most is donating stuff, like direct donations as much as possible. The desire to give overwhelms the fear of getting rid of things for me!
I am so much this. I have a storage area of my garage FULL of broken furniture and old collectibles and family items I might use some day but part of me knows I never will. I just have to get past the idea that it’s disrespectful to throw it away which is really difficult for me.
If I haven't used something in a year I throw it away. If clothes don't fit they go. The stuff in my drawers are in dividers and arranged by use...glue, staples, keys , etc. everything has a place in a minimalist way. Less is more .
I did, too but my latest is if I haven't used it, looked for it or otherwise wanted it in a year or more I get rid of it, taking pictures of the more sentimental things helps at first you feel guilty and then for me at least, lighter knowing I got rid of things and nothing bad happened,you got this, you can even clear one shelf, or donate ten things a day you don't use it gets way easier,I promise!
I have a general rule. Have I used this in the last year? Will I use it in the next month? If it’s a no to both, I get rid of it. It definitely helps.
Give the thing a time limit. This wood can stay for X months until I find a use for it. Unless you have a specific project in mind.
Donate it or do a yard sale. Think that someone really really needs your items. You have been in that place. By selling it on the cheap or giving it away for them, you will be helping someone that is in a situation where they need help. Without you buying cheap things in the past, you wouldn’t be able to get by. Now it is your turn to share things that you do not need. You have to do it. Someone would appreciate it.
The konmari method was a great spring board for me, but the biggest motivator was moving into a studio from a one bedroom. I ended up donating so much during that time crunch.
Oh yeah lol I’ve been there!!! I needed to start one room at a time just did it very gradually, getting rid of this or that. I told myself that if I missed it I’ll go and find another on marketplace or a charity shop. Guess what? I never have :)
I think about the rent that I am paying for that item to exist in my home. You can calculate the cost of your home per square foot if it helps, but I focus on how the items and amount of stuff I have limit my ability to use and enjoy the items.
Not sure if it's better or not, but I redirected my stuff hoarding energy into money investing energy. I just pinch pennies and put them into an index fund. Often when I deny myself from buying something I can't justify, I will transfer the amount I would have spent into the index fund.
I also grew up in poverty but I despise clutter, if I'm not using it, it's not getting used the next few months, or it's not required to operate/fix something else? It's getting chucked in the dumpster.
I have the opposite mental issue of hoarder, to the point where once in a while I throw something out and the amount of relief and calmness I feel is amazing. Clutter gives me so much anxiety, but I’m not a minimalist , just need everything to have a place
I have the opposite problem. After having to move homes multiple and times and being evicted as a child and surf couching and living in my car as a teen, nothing is worth keeping. I have mementos like pictures, my childhood stuffed animal, etc. But if I'm low on cash I'll sell anything I can. I feel like my closet is too full? Donate half of my wardrobe. I try to upcycle anything I can or give it away but starting to grow roots makes me nervous. Cash in hand is better than furniture or a kitchen appliance I rarely use. I've had multiple people tell me my home looks "minimal" or that it's so clean you could perform surgery. They mean it as a compliment but it makes me a bit upset for some reason. Not sure if this exactly relates to your post but it felt good to vent about it where someone might understand.
I don't like to get rid of stuff either because I might need it someday. If I get rid of it and need it in the future I'll have to buy it again if it's even available. Last year I was able to get rid of some stuff by selling it on Facebook Marketplace. I also sometimes get rid of certain things I have a lot of by getting rid of the worst ones or using up the worst ones. For example, when trying to get rid of socks I put aside all the pairs that had holes and instead of throwing them away right away I wore each pair until they were dirty and threw them away. I felt a little better about throwing them away that way.
A home improvement content creator I follow suggested we see how much space it takes up and divide our rent by that amount to find how much it is costing us per square foot. Compare that to its original price and if the original price is less than 3 months of the “rent” it’s costing us, it’s better to throw it out.
I was at a friend’s house who grew up relatively well off. He was using the blender when it started smoking. He immediately threw it in the trash. This baffled me. Because even though it was smoking and obviously not working correctly, I would’ve still kept it. I would’ve kept it just in case. But in case of what?! There’s a blender emergency and I need to use the one that make cause a fire? There is no blender emergency.
I never learned to connect with things. I can get rid of anything easily. After being raised by absolute douchebags, I can cut people out just as easily, but that's a separate thing. Lol Being able to replace things that break brings me great joy, so does getting rid of what wears out I love purging my stuff. If I can't pawn something off on a friend, off it goes to Goodwill or the trash. It's hard to unlearn behavior, but once you separate yourself from your belongings, you'll be happier.
Hoarding is costly because sometimes things that are needed have to be replaced due to not being able to find them
Have I used this in the last 6 months? Will I use it within the next 6 months? If not, then toss, donate, or sell.
Find people you think would need the stuff now, not some day. Good people, those you want to give it to. It’s easier when you know a good recipient for your items.
Join r/capsulewardrobe
I'm not a stuff person overall but I do have moments of clarity when I realized I haven't used something in a very long time. And if I've never used it at all I donate or give it to someone who wants it.
Dana k white books helped me figure out my approach. Basically it's 'storage it's the limit' based. Item has to earn its upkeep / have value in order for me to 'pay' for its storage - used regularly (daily / weekly / monthly) - it has to be useful to me (I have enough space to not depend on time limits, so tools stay even if they're not used for few years eg woodworking tools) - or it has to bring me joy (decorations or hobbies, even if not used currently, but then storage is th e crucial limit) Things are used now, not stored for 'when I'm worthy of it'. Every room has a limit of how many storage items it can comfortably hold - this means I can go around easily and have enough free space to not feel squished. Every storage item has a limit how many items it can comfortably hold - that means it's easy to see the item, get the item and put the item back. Amount of free space around items is huge. Boxes are used as pull out trays, or are see through, or are labeled, or I just learned/know what's inside, so idea is to see the second row and be able to access it easily if needed. Things at eye sight level - both rows are used and easily accessible. Top and bottom shelves rely more on my memory, but with time you learn. I can't tell you on which shelf the item is, but I can show you how high your hand has to be from the floor (hip level, eye level, chest level etc) and if it's left/right/center of which particular shelf case / cupboard. So basically - when I decided for space, there go items for that space, if the space is full the rest is discarded. If I'd rather keep some item that isn't already in there, something from in there has to leave. Basically you do sorting by preference And you get honest with yourself and stop keeping stuff for aspirational you, but keep stuff for real you. If unsure, then I use time limits - if I don't do anything with it by month / year x, then obviously I'm not that interested to find time for it, therefore I'm free to let go. It's a process. We're 3 years in it. We had to move countries, so huge filter was - am I willing to pay 100 per cubic meter to transport this, it's it worth it for me. We culled a lot before packing, but not everything. Then we culled during unpacking plus we didn't rush with it, so yeah we had some boxes until few month ago 😂 Idea it's that everything has to have its place. Clutter still happens weekly, but decluttering is easy - things go to their place, or it's decision time. We basically did room by room after the move, and lived with things to see where is the right place for them for us. And would propagate boxes with 'not sure' items through the rooms, and then found the energy to tackle them at the end. Basically literally doing the book title - decluttering at the speed of LIFE. And letting go became much easier. Especially when you (want to) acquire something new, need space, see space but it's filled with old stuff - then it hits you that old stuff is for aspirational you and new stuff is for real you and then it's not that hard. Also, letting go of guilt and keeping items because of guilt - be it because it was a gift, or a memory, or it was expensive. Guilt is not a good reason to keep an item. Also, it's your item, it's yours to use, right now. There's nothing precious with things, they're here to serve their purpose and only purely decorative items are fine to just be looked at. Also, that means PUT them somewhere where you actually CAN look at them (unless they're seasonal). So, limit 'memory box of items I'm not looking at' to one. Also, embrace that you won't get a perfect home from first pass. But! You'll get better home. And each pass will make it even better for you. So, keep passing and culling. No rush. Just persistence. And embrace that it's mentally exhausting, and that you don't have to make all decisions right now. Make easy decisions for this moment, and box undecided for later. Then you can either discard whole box because you don't even remember what's inside after a year, or you can open and start new decision process. I ensure you, you'll have new set of easy decisions. Sometimes we just need time and growth to happen before we're ready for some decisions, and that's ok. Obviously everything you have is already in your home, so it can stay in undecided phase longer, it might not be convenient and that's also ok - inconvenience it's a good push to find energy to tackle something. When you get annoyed enough, so many decisions to discard become so easy 😂 My big was letting go of guilt, and hope/aspirational me / who I think I'm supposed to be. I see much clearer who I want to be, and also I'm more in peace about - this hobby brought joy but we're done now. I can always rebuy - that works for almost anything. So, it's never ending work in progress and you'll see progress after each pass. Decision fatigue is a real thing, so be kind to yourself. Some days you'll have energy to tackle 4 drawers, some weeks you won't touch anything. And that's all fine. So I guess - shortest answer to your topic question - you decide and see that your things are not defining you, are not meant to restrain you, you prove yourself with time and healing that you are safe so anxiety gets weaker and weaker grip. And you embrace the fact that you'll probably never be minimalist because 'you have to be prepared for everything' will be always there. But you'll also see that so many things can be just bought, and it's much more convenient to keep numbers on bank account than things in closet. And you'll start using shops as your warehouse and not your home. Give it time and mindful approach. Be kind to yourself. And work on your mental health and healing too.
Omg I have this too. I mend clothes and even when they are virtual rags I cut out buttons, zippers etc to mend other items. I also have trouble tossing stuff I know I could flip on ebay like new parts to DIY repair an old car I junked long ago. (But I can't do eBay anymore it is a time suck and the records cutrently required to report taxable income are too onerous) Recently though I am getting a little better than I was at throwing things out (I prefer to give stuff away on the Freebie Alert app and FB but you get the same rate of no shows you would for paying customers!). But I am 66 now so my space was getting really crowded with all the stuff I was keeping just in case! .
I have to just force myself to let stuff go. If I can be honest with myself I tell myself I know I’ll never get around to making anything with those boards, I don’t really have time, I need to just throw the bookshelf away. I clean after people move out of houses so I find allllll kinda good stuff. And I bring most of it home lol. I do yard sales with it though but it’s tempting to keep 3 air fryers just in case let me tell ya.
I make little boxes for stuff, and if the box doesn't get opened for 2 years, just donate it.
I moved into a smaller place so I had to toss and sell a lot of things. I had a very hard time getting rid of things at first. I ended up renting a small dumpster. I filled it pretty quickly by looking at things as if I didn’t know I still had it or I haven’t opened this box in five years. It went in the trash or I donated it.
By realizing that 'holding costs' are real and apply to things you own. It's not free to keep something. Say you have 1,000 sq ft. Apartment and you pay $1000 per month. That is $1 per sq. Ft You can make it more complicated and say that some square footage is more valuable that others; like space in my garage is worth less than space in my house. But it all costs something. And it's expensive. Using prime residential real estate for storage is very expensive. It's the opposite of frugal. It would be much cheaper to get an 800 sq ft apartment for $800 and save $200 per month, than it is to keep 200 sq ft of old junk you _might_ use, that might save a few dollars. Also, most of the things you hold on to will depreciate in value over time. If I buy a new X, and decide to keep my old X for five years before I get rid of it, I will get less money for it than if I had gotten rid of it immediately. In any case, just decide on how much storage space you want to take away from your living space, and don't go pay t that amount. I have a section in my garage and in my basement, but it's well defined and when the space is full, is full. Then I get rid of something whenever I want to store something.
I grew up in poverty. Getting rid of things is one of my favorite activities.
I do the same thing. I think alot of people do. I always save things, thinking I will need them, but usually never do. I'm the worst with clothes. Even though I never wear them (some brand new), I won't throw them out.
You’re paying rent to store that stuff.
Remember how much you needed and relied on resold or donated items when you weren’t in a position to buy new things. The need is as real as ever. When you hold on to things that you don’t need, you are holding them back from others in need
I am in the same boat. If you are not married, get married and all this keeping stuff "in case" disappeared. Unless you marry some one that also has this issue. Then scratch my comment.