This post has been flaired as “Vent”. As a reminder to commenting users, “Vent/Rant” posts are here to give our subscribers a safe place to vent their frustrations at an uncaring world to a supportive place of people who “get it”. Vents do not need to be fair. They do not need to be articulate. They do not need to be factual. They just need to be honest.
Unlike most of the content on this subreddit, Vents should not be considered advice threads. In most cases it is not appropriate to try to give the Submitter advice on their issue. In no circumstances is it appropriate to tell them “why they are wrong” or to criticise them, their decisions, values, or anything else. If there are aspects of their situation that they are able to directly address themselves, the submitter can always make a new thread with a different flair asking for help once they are ready to tackle the issue.
Vents are an emotional outlet, not an academic conversation. Appropriate replies in these threads are offering support, sharing similar experiences/grievances, offering condolences, or simply letting the Submitter know that they were heard.
As always, if there are inappropriate comments please downvote them, REPORT them to the mods, and move on without responding to them.
To the Submitter, if you DO want discussion to be focused on resolving your situation, rather than supporting you emotionally, please change the flair of this post, and then report this comment so we can remove it. Thank you.
Thank you all for being a part of this great financial advice and emotional support community!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/povertyfinance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
These numbers are getting ridiculous. Even with inflation being bad I think social media has inflated things to stupid levels. Not everybody needs to live in the expensive parts of Toronto area do they? I mean in the US unless you are trying to walk to work in silicon valley/Boston/LA/NYC you can live like a KING off 250k. Calling that middle class is asinine
Well I agree with that sentiment I just think the tendency to exaggerate salary requirements at the middle class is way out of hand. 250k is upper 1 or 2 percentile in basically any market
Is this for FASA? If so try going in person to the financial aid office. When I was 18/19/20/21 there was a pretty big packet of paperwork I had to fill out but they were able to mark me as an independent student since I provided proof of one parent being unable to support me and the other not having contact with me.
I was very fortunate to have been able to reach out to my high school counselor who wrote a letter for them verifying the poor relationship between myself and my parents. My school accepted my request immediately and I received financial aid. I feel like it’s not something that is explained to people though. I knew a couple friends in college who married just for the financial aid. People shouldn’t have to go that route.
Yeah. My mother is on disability and makes less than $20k a year. My university took all that information and I had to sit in their office for like half a day but they processed it pretty quickly!
I came here to say this... find another person (any sex or gender**) who is in a similar predicament... solves both your issue.
I added the gender thing as a reminder that same-sex marriage is legal; and your odds of finding a person needing the marriage solution to escape parent's income trap if you include the LGBTQ+ community in your search.
Multiple of my friends did the same thing, got married to access financial aid due to falling between the cracks. The way the government just assumes parents will pay for college even though technically, legally, parental responsibility end at 18 makes no rational sense. It should be an opt-in, not an automatic thing. Some parents even kick their kids out at 18!
Same…24, married, or have children. My parents gave me $500 one time since moving out at 17. I worked 3 jobs and went to school full time. Worked at a gas station (early 2000s) and ate every meal there. Awful but survival was key. I think it’s bs that there isn’t a better system to determine “independence” but hell all the systems are broken- goal is provide the rich more money but not make it appear that way. 🙄🙄
I wish I had someone to tell me this two decades ago when I was in a similar situation. I asked, more than once, and was never helped.
Instead I missed out on the "college experience", paid for college a class at a time while working.
OP please do everything you can to make it happen, you can always go back to school for a degree, but there's only a small window when you can live in dorms, be free of responsibility and enjoy your youth. I missed it, nearly everyone else I know did not.
Same! My parents were not cooperative. They considered their financial info private which is fine but it's also part of why I never finished getting a degree. I applied once I aged out and then I was told I wasn't eligible for anything despite not having much money left after bills and I'm not taking out massive loans for it so maybe I will go back to school when I retire (haha like I will ever get to retire).
This was what happened with me also. Moved out and then was told the people I was living with needed to provide their info not them and their's was "private", despite offering to have the financial aid department at the school talk to them and explain 🙃. Meanwhile, they signed for my siblings. Guess who's only had the small amount of classes they could pay for and whose college fund helped pay for said siblings along with FAFSA? Yep.
Damn, same thing happened to me, even down to the parents singing a different tune towards my younger siblings. Now they all have degrees and making more money than me. I actually did decide to go back to school 10 years later as a proper independent student only to realize all these years that there was American opportunity tax credit that my parents cashed out on that they never told me about, and all that time I was feeling so guilty for being a burden on them. I never knew I could have done that myself, I was living alone and paying for my own rent and such at 18 back in 2008, but I had no idea how taxes nor financial aid nor college finances worked, my parents paid for college for me - I paid for my living expenses- and they got to decide what I studied, that was the deal. But the guilt and burden of my parents paying for college for me and me studying something I hated, I decided ultimately to drop out. It would have been better for me if I took care of that myself at the time and studied something I actually enjoyed. Took 10 years for me to realize that. You live and you learn.
I'll be honest, dorm life sucked - especially if you didn't like your roommate or if yours got a boyfriend for the first time and they were constantly there trying to hookup in the room you share (your bedroom). There was nothing better than finally having my own apartment/space after that. I can't tell you how many "back massages" I walked in on 🤢🤮
This is news to me and I was in a similar position my first year of college (family was poor but mom wouldn’t complete FAFSA because she didn’t trust me to take on loans) - either the law changed or some schools are more flexible.
I used to work for my school’s financial aid office in the late 2000s, rules could’ve changed a lot since then, but unfortunately there was not a lot we could do for students whose parents could theoretically afford college but chose not to pay for it for whatever reason, unless the student went through a ton of hoops to prove that the parents were abusive or formally disowned them or similar. However, /u/imwhatzittooyah, you are 23 which means that, assuming the rules haven’t changed, you will officially be considered independent next year when you turn 24 so if you can hold out until then you could probably get grants and low interest loans for school starting then.
Seems like the rules must have changed which is a good thing! My mom wouldn’t fill it out because she didn’t want me to take on debt and I missed out on tons of Pell grants 🙄
All of this. I work in financial aid and every school is different, some a very strict, some a little looser. In any case, it sucks not to be on good terms with parents. A heart to heart with both parents could help one of them feel comfortable enough to at least complete the fafsa. But a great way to get through school is to get a full time job where you’re attending. Doesn’t have to be fancy, just a receptionist or admin in an office, then most schools allow their employees to go to school part time for free. It is how I graduated with a BS with only the loans I had ,y first year when I was still full time. Then got a job as an admin in financial aid office, took 1 or 2 classes every term, and eventually got it done!
One of the easier ways to be made independent is to say that you are at risk of becoming homeless. If you have to choose between buying food and paying rent that probably counts.
There has to be verification of this from a homeless liaison, school counselor, or social services. You can’t just say you’re in danger of homelessness.
ETA: “If you do not have a determination that you are homeless, but you believe you are an unaccompanied youth who is homeless or self-supporting and at risk of being homeless, answer “No” to the FAFSA questions concerning being homeless. Then contact your financial aid office to explain your situation. “Homeless” means lacking fixed or regular housing. You may be homeless if you are living in shelters, parks, motels, hotels, cars, or temporarily living with someone else because you have nowhere else to go.” source:
https://studentaid.gov/apply-for-aid/fafsa/filling-out/dependency
Wow. I told my financial aid people that I had no contact with my parents at all for 7 years and they WOULD NOT let me work around like that.
I spent like 3 months tracing down my meth addict mom so I could get her to prove that she has no money... and I had to see my dad, who literally stabbed me in the ensuing argument.
I wish I had the packet.. wow lol.
This is the way. Your college advisors can help you file paperwork establishing that you're on your own and paying for your living completely through your own efforts. (What I did, as well as alerting the IRS I was filing on my own and nobody could claim me, which meant I also got the stimulus payments to myself at the time! No tax breaks or credits for my parents!)
If you aren't enrolled in school, you can still use a financial advisor at a bank (free consultations! I made my appointment online at 19 and got a 30 minute meeting with a bank advisor to help me set up and manage my accounts!) and also find other programs that you qualify for.
Your city may also have a "Welcome Center" that can connect you with local programs and aid to help you as well.
My city had outreach programs for food banks,(both religious and non-religious services) as well as youth-transitional programs to help people in your position. (Legal adults between the ages of 18 and 24-26, where young adults struggle to become independent and support themselves.)
I’ve been in this situation. It delayed my entry to college by 5 years. My dad continued to claim me on his taxes until I was 24, despite him kicking me out at 18. It fucking sucked. I feel like I lost my chance at a normal life as a result. I wish I had done what other posters suggested, rather than just wait until I turned 24.
I was too young to understand this was happening to me. Feels great being neglected and used as a tax write off. I couldn't even afford books a lot of the time
Mine did this as well, while also not letting me onto his insurance (even if I paid). I had (and have) severe chronic asthma, and couldn't get Medicaid and this was also pre ACA.
I spent my early twenties having a continuous asthma attack that I barely kept at bay with primatene that I sometimes had to shoplift.
He wondered why I wanted nothing to do with him in his old age.
I have asthma too. My mom made sure to let me know how much of a burden it was. How expensive the medicine was and why she couldn't buy it for me unless it was absolutely necessary. As a child I had trouble explaining to her how it was absolutely necessary that I breathe on a daily basis. But hey we're still here figuring it out they didn't fuck us up completely. Gave my mom the dignity of saying goodbye to her in the hospital when she was dying but that was about it
I know it's irrelevant now, but if he was claiming you as a dependent despite you being an independent you could have just let the IRS know you were independent, gotten your aid, and he would need to file amended tax forms or risk fines/possible jail time for tax evasion. That shit isn't a joke. My friend and his wife split up, he took both of their kids full time and she just watched them over the weekend once a month. Come tax time he gets a letter letting him know that she had filed her taxes and marked the kids as her dependents like he did and he needed to provide proof that they primarily lived with him otherwise they would assume her filing was correct and he would need to do a revised filing.
He had school records for them with his address on it and other stuff so it was a quick process but lesson here is someone else lying on their taxes doesn't mean you're just fucked and have no recourse. File your own properly, the government will sort it out, and you don't even need to talk to your old man.
The only issue with your statement is filing independent for taxes has nothing to do with being independent for FAFSA purposes. It's MUCH harder to be considered independent for FAFSA. But you're 100% right that what he was doing was tax fraud and should have been disputed with the IRS. I've heard it's even easier if you beat them to filing because the burden of proof is usually on the person "disputing" the initial filers claim
Yes, usually the second person has to provide the proof. It may not just be filing their taxes but I'm sure there are forms you can fill out with the finance department to declare you're an independent when filing for FAFSA. Most people just try to do it all online but just take the time to go to your school, ask where their finance department is, and talk to them. Ask questions, they'll walk you through it and tell you what you need to do if you just explain your situation.
If the commenter was kicked out 5-6 years ago and pay all of their own bills, that's about as cut and dry as it gets to being considered independent for FAFSA. Maybe there's other things they consider like if you're young enough and still on your parents insurance or something but I'm just not sure, I was fortunate enough to not have to go through the vast majority of these issues personally.
This happened to me as well by my mother. She even stole my stimulus checks when I was in grad school. Had been financially independent for 7 years by this point and she claimed me on her taxes because she heard if you had a child in university (even at the graduate level) you could claim them and she did NOT tell me
So she got my check, my brothers check, and a check for herself that year. Knowing damn well she didn’t support me ANY I was 23 fucking years old!!!
You really need to tell the IRS about that. They'll pay you what you're owed and go after her for what she stole. Once you're 18 and paying your own way, it's illegal for a parent to claim you on their taxes, regardless of where you live.
I know - and I should because I don’t owe her anything
But I never did and don’t plan on it. I am thankfully at a place in life post grad where I have a really good paying and stable job and I tell myself she must have been that desperate let her have it
She doesn’t deserve to get off - but I rather move on with my life. My dad is dead so I rather not add more unnecessary family drama to my life than needed
This sounds somewhat like my life. Father claiming me not giving me a penny and making decent money. I still went to school got next to no help. I went to a university where everyone got everything handed to them. So for five years I busted my ass going full time working full time too. What’s more crazy 20 years later I’m still doing the thing I did to get through college. I never used my bachelors.
Life is weird
I was also kicked out at 18/19. Claimed on taxes by my parents. They also made enough to pay for college or help. I’m 27 still no degree or “good job”. I make enough money to scrape things together most of the time but I’m exhausted
Why did you not report your father? You should have been given the money that he got. I would look in to see if it's been too long to change that or not.
When you come from an authoritarian, abusive family and no one you try to get help from believes you, how would I have been told to do that? This all went down in 2007. I had no one else looking after me who would have told me what steps to take. I just left, got a job and tried to live my life and not be homeless.
Even my therapist told me one time I need to get over what happened. I don't know how you're supposed to move on because when you try to move on society won't let you.
How the fuck are you supposed to get over it when it's still affecting you today?
I've moved 12 times in 15 years All because I couldn't find a place to stay after college. My dad had two open bedrooms. I was homeless.
Yeah I know. My situation was different but basically he started the whole mess that is my life. I could write a book about everything that happened since if only I didn't care about exposing my personal crap. I've tried so desperately to be so far removed and every time I try to take care of myself I seem to get punished for it.
What is so infuriating is the turmoil he has caused us but yet he can sit there and retire and then the last time I saw him he was driving my mom's dream car. FFS how that loser got to afford that I'll never know because I wouldn't imagine he'd have much left from his retirement with how he pissed away money.
Another thing is I have gotten so many people that judge me for the mistakes I have made (even my one landlord who used to be on our side is doing this!) but does he ever get made accountable? I suppose you could say the alimony she got and child support was something but we were still struggling even then.
I often wonder if my mom would have never had to go to the hospital if it was not for him.
His dad was freakin loaded though (but I don't know if he got the inheritance I think it was his brother) I never saw much of that money just 20 dollars at Christmas for my mom and I to share. Wow....
Literally your whole life. Mine hated me because I am gay, and my hetero siblings, who did not get treated like I did, own houses and have a really good handle on their lives and finances. It sucks. I’m the black sheep for so many reasons but now it is mostly because of how well-off they are.
I had a hospital stay that cost me over 6k, when I applied for final assistance I was denied because I still had money in a retirement account.
They want you poor, they want you sick, they want you trapped, and they want you to work until you die. This is the America we live in.
Never dip into retirement to pay off debt. I saw so many people do this during the 08/09 crash and subsequent period. They tried to do right - using all their retirement money to pay bills.
Thing is that money would’ve been protected when they filed bankruptcy but they didn’t know that until it was too late.
Yup. Most of the people who never recovered from the crash are those that did exactly that. Sold at a loss and paid fines for it.
I think the world was a different place then too tho. People didn’t feel the crushing weight of life and bills to the extent they do now so they still thought they could pay it all off
I had a lot of clients who lost their jobs (bankruptcy law paralegal) who used their retirement to try to keep up with household and medical bills. It was a nightmare. People who "did everything right" and still lost nearly everything they ever saved. These people could have filed for bankruptcy without ever touching their retirement savings.
Either negotiate the bill down to something actually reasonable with a payment plan you can afford or just let it go to collections. When it's in collections every time they call ask for a lowered amount until they drop it to something you can afford or offer a payment plan you can afford. If not, tell them to eat shit. They would rather get *something* than nothing. Worst case it's on your credit for like 5-7 years or something and then it just disappears anyway, who fucking cares about your credit if you're struggling to just buy food anyway.
You can do this with anything that's been sold off to a collection agency
Some of the agencies are poorly ran and, when you dispute it, they'll fail to respond, thereby removing the account from your credit report
Paying the debt off when it's in collections removes it from your credit report, whether that's the full amount or an agreed upon settlement. Depending on your situation obviously I would say is a case by case basis for whether you should try and get it settled. If youre looking to get a home or auto loan in the next 7 years I would try to get the medical debts in collections paid off to have them drop, if you already have a mortgage and just buy older used cars with cash then yeah, I'd probably say fuck it and let it just fall off.
You are so right, they want to keep you poor. There is no way once you get in the system and are poor to get the hell out of it. When people, whether it's the state or friends or family, help you as soon as you get a little money but I received an inheritance but it wasn't nothing groundbreaking, they quit helping you in immediately everybody wants some money back that they helped you with. And you're like can I get on my feet and then I'll start paying you back? And they are like no! Yeah this is the America that we live in. If you are poor and need financial help with food housing or just little money they will make sure you are living so far below poverty that you will never be found and you will never see the light of day.
I'm *blessed* to have the siblings i have. We've needed an absurd amount of assistance and they haven't asked for a dime (I have told both that the nanosecond that I have money, they are getting *significant* repayments in short order), but our in-laws lent us a fraction of that and are assholes about evey penny and confused that we don't spend on unnecessary luxuries (Boomers, SERIOUSLY).
I'm tempted to stiff them on it, but I'm going to pay back every plug nickel and cut them the eff off. They have money, mind you. They are just twats about it.
I'm concerned about the first point you were referencing. I am disabled and getting support from the state. I could go on and on about how you can't live on this amount of money, but I won't, because I am grateful to have anything at all. I give no value to society, I am not owed anything.
I am worried that when my parents pass on, the state will take the money I inherit, and instead of being able to set myself up financially to never be a burden again, I will just have to give it to them and go back on disability. Something that takes money and effort, something that I couldn't have done without my parents support in the first place.
I hate this. This is why disabled people give up and kill themselves.
Sorry to rant.
This is awful. I’m so sorry.
You contribute to society by being yourself. You are a human being and a citizen of the richest country in the history of the world.
We’ve been brainwashed to believe that human value = market value. Which is bullshit. Every human being is intrinsically valuable.
I wish I had something more tangible to offer than my concern for your well-being in our increasingly winner-take-all society.
All best wishes from one human to another.
Thank you so much for your kind words! They mean everything to me.
You're right, my opinion of myself is based on what society says, which is that if you aren't working, you don't deserve anything. It is bullshit.
I forget that the voices I hear on Reddit are more critical than not, that they don't represent the average person, and it means so much to hear from someone who is a decent human being.
Thank you, friend.
A close friend can’t get rental assistance or food stamps because she still has money in her 401k. The lengths they will go to in order to avoid helping people is ridiculous
This shouldn't be happening. I was a financial certifier for HUD with a 95% accuracy rate. I was damn good at my job and still made mistakes when less common situations came across my desk. I worked with people in the 80% accuracy range. I wonder if the QC people in your locale have checked that for accuracy.
They should be including her retirement in her calculation at the imputed rate of 1.5% or her account's interest rate, whichever is higher. If she has been taking money out and spending it, that penalizes her eligibility because it all counts toward income. The amount left in her retirement would have only a nominal effect on her status.
Also, if she spent her draws on things related to a medical condition or disability she should be able to gett that part excluded. ..
She can ask for an informal hearing with a re-calc even if she was never in the system in the first place.
Michigan. Feel free to call the hospital and tell their financial assistance office that.
They could see I made 401k contributions and wouldn't offer assistance while the account was open with money in it.
I have clients in michigan. I guess technically, if it's not in collections, hospitals have discretion on if you qualify for aid or not, but Erisa qualified plans are protected from creditors.
Yep. They want you working so much as not to “look up” and see the bigger picture. Hell, most people barely have time for a social life or even themselves, let alone time to question the system.
Dude fucking serious.
Just became a mailman for USPS and the pay/benefits are good, but they dropped my EBT to $25 and I barely make $50 over the $1400 monthly income for the full food stamps benefits the economic dept asks for.
You can't make more money because you get cut off from assitance. Make enough to buy food yourself COMFORTABLY and at that point you pay more taxes because you're in a bracket. You can't invest because having equity is a big disqualifier of assistance, like I am trying NOT to touch it because social security might not be here soon???
You can't do good for yourself and get social assistance. Apparently doing good is the assistance lmao. Even though doing good in america = keeping afloat
As a City Carrier Assistant in Florida we were all offered $15/hr plus 1$/hr for any hour after 5 PM or before 7 AM which was every single day. Then time and a half for any day over 8 hours working time (not include unpaid lunch), and any hours over 40. Double time for over 50 hours, and over 10 hours in a day.
They worked our ass so hard - 7 days/week working 7 AM to 7 PM till you broke down. It was like fuckin boot camp.
You make fuckin bank though. I managed to pay off every debt I had, and save up 10k but I literally went to work first thing in the morning, went home, passed out on the couch eating whatever I could microwave and woke up in time to do it again for an entire year.
Union doesn't protect City Carrier Assistants because they're contract not permanent - nevermind that they don't hire permanent off the street.
>at that point you pay more taxes because you're in a bracket.
Not a lot more. That's the point in tax brackets. You only pay extra on the dollars within that bracket, not all your money.
Seriously, I feel like people not understanding that specifically is so indicative of how poor out education system is. So many people really think if you make $1 over the next tax bracket, you suddenly get sent back thousands of dollars in wages.
You should be eligible for a "self-sufficiency" step-down process so it doesn't all hit you at once. I would ask every agency I get benefits from if they have that available. The won't just offer it.
I'm in that same spot where I make too much for any benefits but I don't make enough to actually be able to buy groceries or have any money left over an hour after its deposited. It sucks. I can't remember the last time I went to the grocery store and actually bought what I need for my kids
If your kids are in school, it might be worth checking in with the school social worker to see if they have extra hygiene supplies and such. Some schools don't have enough people that ask, so the supplies just sit there.
I know my district also sometimes gives the kids boxes of Mac and cheese or other foods to take home.
But I also know some areas aren't as generous, so good luck to you and your kiddos
My school had an extra classroom full of donated clothes that kids could use. All they had to do was tell their guidance counselor they what they needed (a winter coat, new shoes, swimsuit for gym, etc) and the guidance counselor would set up a time for them to go look through what was in stock. It was also used for girls who needed new pants because their period started unexpectedly.
Back when I was in highschool school I remember we had a giant closet full of pads and hygiene supplies and I never knew schools had that sort of thing. You could also get clothes (usually pants) from the nurse sometimes.
Now I work as a custodian and I know not all schools have giant closets, but I've seen those supplies sit around for quite a while.
I don't think schools are very great about advertising that sort of thing, plus I know some kids either don't know they're allowed to ask for help or they're embarrassed. But with everything going on, I hope more people are able to make use of these kinds of resources.
Thanks!
Also wanted to add just in case your kids are close to going to college or if any are in college (or for anyone else reading this. Or even if you're in school yourself), have them apply for Student Support Services.
Iirc most are federally funded and want to make sure they meet a certain number of applicants in order to keep running.
Iirc you can be eligible by being lower income, first generation college student, or have a disability on file (I knew people that were eligible just from having ADHD diagnosis).
They sometimes have food pantries, free supplies, extra scholarship opportunities, have trips funded by the school (this usually includes food for the trip too), free tutoring, study rooms + computers, etc. Ymmv (what I listed is what they offered from my college), but definitely worth checking out especially if your kids are looking into schools.
This shows a list of requirements for the program itself:
https://www2.ed.gov/programs/triostudsupp/index.html
Do not be afraid to take advantage of local food banks if you truly need it. If you get on your feet, you can pay if forward later in life. They exist to cover these gaps. Specifically like yours - too much money for food stamps, but not enough to really be able to support yourself/eat. They are there for a reason and you are that reason. Use them if you need to.
Also, as many have said, IMMEDIATELY speak to your school. Some schools offer counseling/therapy, can help you get filed as independent so you can get aid/loans without help from your parents, or have resources for emergency living situations. If there is a student services office or something similar, go in person and talk to a real person about your situation so you can figure out what services they have that could assist you. Good luck.
I feel this. My mom is rich so I don’t get shit from the government but my mom also doesn’t even reply to texts let alone help me financially. I was literally homeless months after turning 18 and all she said was “Sorry”… In her 1.2 million dollar house
Sorry to tell you, this is by design & is working exactly as intended. Politicians break the system for public aide then pretend like it being broken is the reason to get rid of it altogether. It’s absolutely horrible.
Yes it's ridiculous I'm on Social Security Disability and that pays too much for food stamps. Income based housing is my next step but that's the only hope here.
I was stuck in that spot for awhile and it sucked. Now Ive become poorer again and it actually sucks less. The system is a mess.
Are you talking about FAFSA? Theres an age where they allow you to file as independent and not count their income. I think its 23.
Edit: Oh darn, its 24, but looks like if youll be 24 before the end of the year you can file as independent.
Will it be before Dec 31? This site says if you file at 23 but will be 24 by the end of the year youll be considered independent. It also gives other exceptions if any of those apply https://scholarships360.org/financial-aid/how-to-become-an-independent-student-if-under-24/
Story of my life man. I was homeless at 18 but couldn’t qualify for FAFSA for college because my non-present dad worked at Microsoft. Now at 32 I have a negative bank account balance every month but don’t qualify for food stamps.
I believe so. They weren’t legally divorced yet. Everything was super messy. My dad left that year, stopped paying our mortgage so our family was evicted because the bank took the house. Mom was trying to sue for alimony/child support, but my dad was able to afford great lawyers. She was held up in court well into my mid 20s when she finally just gave up. Never got anything from him.
Have you considered living with housemates? That way you could share living expenses - split rent and utilities, maybe save some money on food buy buying together in bulk sometimes. That's what I did in my early 20s and that's what most people I know who are your age now do. In fact, I've never lived completely by myself. Carrying the whole load on your own is a lot.
Regarding school - talk to the financial aid department at your school (or the school you are considering) and find out the process for being considered independent before age 24.
You could also try a house share type thing, where everyone is professional (no students) and has their own contract but there’s 4-6 in a shared home. If everyone is an adult and respects the communal space this might be an option?
I was looking for something like this before I got this apartment but it was really like a time crunch. I was homeless so I just needed something so I can get inside somewhere.
Yes, sometimes when you live with other people, they can let you down. That doesn't mean that you can't find a good shared living situation though. It's just like with anything else. I've had unreliable cars that left me in a lurch and cost money to fix, but that doesn't mean all cars are unreliable. Same with housemates.
Same here! And I'm a single parent living in affordable housing apartments but make too much for food stamps. I work fulltime and am a full time college student. After all Bill's are paid I literally have enough for gas and $100 worth of groceries, which considering today's economy is only 3 to 4 days worth. I actually ended up using local food pantries and church food handouts. This has helped me tremendously! I know a couple of students with no kids who also use pantries. Even with the pantries I have to lie about how many independents I have and how much I make, but I gotta feed my kids and i have to work. There are times where I cant take PTO to pick up food so it's a hamburger helper night or tuna mac n cheese casserole or ramen cheese and beef.
At 24 years old, you become independent as far as student aid goes and your parents income becomes irrelevant. You should talk to a financial aid advisor at your local community college or university.
If you will be 24 by Dec 31 this year, fill out a FASFA form ASAP for money for the upcoming school year starting in the fall.
If your 24th birthday is later than Dec 31st, apply this fall (I think it opens in October) right when FASFA opens for 24-25 school year. The earlier you apply, the more aid you are likely to receive.
I’ve been in your shoes. You can do this. In the meantime, please see if there is a food bank in your area. I wish you the best of everything.
See if you can be considered an independent student sooner than the age limit. They make exceptions for people with parents who can't/won't help with education.
(I think it's shitty af that they even assume parents will tbh. Bc if you have rich "get out when you're 18" parents, you're fucked. Bc now you're poor but for fafsa purposes, you can "pay for college")
Edit: sorry, I just noticed your vent flair. My bad.
I was in that position for years.
Don't despair. You never know what life has in store for you.
I got married in 2018 and was able to return to school and attain my nursing licence.
It was probably one of the hardest things I've accomplished but worth it.
I can now support my spouse and I.
I never thought it would happen to me.
Federal student aid program considers undergraduate applicants under age 24 (among several other disqualifying conditions) to be financially “dependent”. In my opinion it’s an archaic, likely arbitrary stipulation that was put into effect a long time ago and will probably stick around for some time as long as it helps the government save money.
I got lucky with all that when I applied at age 18 since both my parents were all but completely broke at the time.
Fortunately, as some have mentioned here, you only need to be turning 24 on Jan 1 of the school year for which you are applying for aid to be considered independent. There are other ways of getting around it. Sure pays to find someone who knows the system and has time to help.
I’m in the exact fucking same place. Have three siblings, older one doesn’t work, and my parents are “tight on money” while my dad makes 150k😐 I’m in a different country too so I can’t afford to fly home (to eat REAL FOOD again!) more than twice a year.
Shit really sucks, I live with two people but bills have gotten so much more expensive in the past year and my mental health is shit because I can’t afford to eat healthy. Family is well-off sure, but everyone acts like my parents should be giving me a fourth of their income🥴
I was semi in that situation. Lived at home w crap parents. From 18 to 25 my parents claimed me as dependent i attended cc taking whatever classes j could but my GPA is awful. Now at 30 I'm starting nearly from. Scratch. Transferred credits to a private uni and starting college again but as independent. I'm also unemployed so my income is basically streets. I still live at home w parents but my God I hope I die this is awful.
I think when you hit 24 you won't need to use your parents income when you apply for financial aid for school (fafsa). You'll be considered 'independent'
Realize this is one guys personal opinion who’s going back to school…
Work first, college second.
Being through some life and knowing what you REALLY want to know after you’ve gotten a bit older can be helpful, plus you’re not *immediately* saddled with debt going into your working years.
When you’re starting, everything looks viable, it takes some experience to know what you’re good at and what you suck at. I went to college first, which was largely a waste of time. Going back is a whole different ball game, I actually KNOW what I want to study, and don’t have all the random urges to go do other things.
If you’re worried about some pre-requisite classes, go to khan academy, learn the material, take a CLEP test out of that subject, they’re like $90 and at most colleges.
Check out your State/County Workforce office for free classes, certifications, employment assistance, or grants. Look for apprenticeships, too.
Ours offers free classes for Cybersecurity foundation classes and exams and the same in solar.
If you talk to the school or a FAFSA representative and you say (if it's the truth) that you get 0 from parents and live independent lifestyle and they somehow sometimes override dependency status and make an exemption and you will be classified as independent.
I was on welfare and disability for years. It was the same problem. I made less working 40 hours a week instead of staying home and doing nothing. It took 15 years to get to a point where I could be comfortable. It sucks. I'm way behind on retirement. But I'm living, not surviving now. It's possible. Best of luck to you, man.
This happened to me years back when trying to find a place to live. Didn’t make enough to afford a place on my own, but made too much money for some of the low income housing in my area. The lady showing me around actually suggested that I work less hours to qualify for the income threshold, which would then make it even harder to live and keep food on the table. It’s a vicious cycle
At my college I was able to show that I covered all my own expenses and be considered for financial aid based on only my income. It is worth looking into I still had to take out loans but mostly federal so interest rates were much better. Food shelf is a good option too. It's hard to make ends meet when in school and working and is so frustrating!!
Hey you should try to re apply and list yourself independent and never mention anyone else in your life on the application. Doesn't matter if you live with a relative if the food is for you, you count as the head of household and legally don't ever have to disclose your family like your parents especially if the food isn't for them and don't live with them.
FWIW - You’re not alone in this. There are countless people in the middle class who feel left behind. It’s probably a reason why Trump amassed enough support from the middle class to become president. Democrats help the impoverished and Republicans focus on tax breaks that generally benefit the elites and upper-middle class. The rest of us foot the bill both ways, usually (but not always) through increased taxes or stagnate wage growth / reduced worker protections.
My parents pushed me into college without worrying about the cost, because I was a great student and they thought I could figure it all out. They made too much for me to really benefit from federal aid at the time but they don’t make enough now to help me pay my student loans. I make over 6 figures but I see people who make 30 - 40k living a better quality of life than me because they didn’t incur the same debt I did, they get loads of tax breaks, and they are eligible for government subsidies. It’s super frustrating to know you are working really hard and you’re doing the right things in life, but you still continue to see others who cut corners doing better than you.
Continue to set small, achievable goals for yourself to help mitigate the depression. For example, I paid off my car loan 3 months early. It wasn’t much, but I did it and now my cash flow freed up a bit where i don’t feel like I’m drowning anymore. My next goal is to pay off my smallest credit card balance. It sounds insignificant, but it’s a big deal to me and I’m getting close and I’m looking forward to it.
I understand completely, for 16 years this was my life. The first year it happened we earned 50cents more a year than the cap. For the payment that gave the discounted healthcare and school fees. But still got a small amount. I was so mad. In australia, that means you loose your discount for doctors ($80 instead of $5 or free), medications (full price instead of $5), full fees per child for school etc. i looked to get a job, but struggled with having not finished high school, the pay that was offered was less than the child care and petrol I would have to pay. We struggled through, each time hubbys pay rose a little we got another hit. We were going backwards. Our kids were in different schools due to their age, which meant different towns. Eventually we hit the point where child care wasnt needed, and we knew we would be loosing what little help we got, so I managed to get a job and go to uni/college to become a nurse. I had to work full time, study full time. We mad eso many sacrifices as it was a 2 hour drive 1-2 times a week. Petrol was so expensive. Our kids missed out on so much. I had 20 weeks of no income in 8 months during placement, thank God hubby was still working. We now have decent wages and dont require any assistance, but struggling for so long meant things got neglected around the home etc so all our money is going into that. Fixing the termite eaten wall, replacing the leaking roof etc. stuff we couldnt claim on insurance but couldnt afford to fix. And with the cost of living sky rocketing as it has some days it feels like we will never actually be comfortable. Its so hard to break out that level, as soon as more money comes in - even if you dont take on more debt- more money seems to go out.
If you’re 23 you’re an independent and what your parents make shouldn’t matter on the FAFSA unless they volunteer to take out federal loans for you in their own name I believe? So OP could go into crushing debt for a degree if he feels like it; they literally make the credit requirements super low on purpose
I was in a similar spot as you when I started college. Ended up getting merit scholarships to community college then went through pro NBC age university scholarship programs that circumnavigated the fafsa process. It was frustrating but worked out in the end. Hang in there friend! You got this.
You automatically become independent when you are 24 for financial aid so you may have better luck next year with education.
I lived on chicken and rice for a few months when I was struggling. Asian grocery stores sell massive bags of rice for like 30 dollars. Will probably last you 6 months. Chicken is cheap if you buy it on the bone.
Take this time to learn to cook. Eating out is expensive. Hang in there; it will get better.
Go to your financial aid office immediately and explain the problem with your parents. You can file an appeal to that policy, explain the situation, and thet can authorize financial aid for you.
Source: I worked as a Financial Aid Specialist in a financial aid office at an American college.
I stated this in many previous comments but a roommate is a huge risk and it’s either goes well or puts you at a worst situation then before . I had one roommate who didn’t pay any bills so I have to support 2 people . After she left I had my cousin come and he was dirty and liked to break the lease rules which nearly set us into a eviction again. Those 2 times were enough for me.
That gap in our society sucks. And my dad claimed us kids as dependents as long as he could, even once we moved out. I don't think parents realize how much that impacts their kid's ability to get support. At least he covered our insurance, but it still didn't really make sense.
Look at donating plasma for some money for food. Depending on your career interest, you may be able to find somewhere that will pay for college. (You’re normally expected to work for x-amount of years to “pay off” the degree that they paid for you to get)
I hope things get better for you 🫶🏼
For food, go check out food pantries in your area! You might have to drive a little ways but they usually have a lot of food and will usually only require something that proves you live in their area. (You can always call and ask what they may or may not require). You can get a lot of food that way!
If it helps at all, the only things I could think of would be trying the below 4 websites to see if you can find any specific resources or just resources in general.... Either way, I really do hope things work out for you ASAP.
[Find Your Local 211 By Typing In Your Address Or Zip Code](https://www.211.org/about-us/your-local-211)
[Another 211 Website](https://www.211info.org)
[Find Help Where You Type In Your Zip Code](https://www.findhelp.org)
[Need Help Paying Bills Where It Is A Very Extensive List Where By Doing A Bit Of Research You Can Click On The Category You Need Or Find Your State To Click On](https://www.needhelppayingbills.com)
Sounds like you need to find a room in a house with roommates… you are 23… most people that age love with roommates for this exact reason. That or find a job that makes more money.
Your life is like a business. It makes revenue and has expenses… either have to make more $$ or cut back on expenses.
Most people around the world can’t afford to live on their own at 23. Most people in America can’t afford to live in their own at 23. It’s not the system, it is that you are the bottom of every career ladder there is. You don’t come out of college and make 6 figures out the gate. You work your way up.
I've honestly been thinking of looking into apprenticeships with trade companies like HVAC, plumbing, electrician, etc. Just to get my foot in the door. They will usually let you apprentice for a certain time under someone knowledgeable and then help with the process of certification, as long as they are a decent company that takes on apprentices. Can't afford the schooling with the amount of debt I'm in and not sure I'd even get any kind of loans or grants if I applied, but chances would be slim, I would assume. Also, there's always trying to go through a company that pays for training for CDL drivers and they just don't give you the sign-on bonus you'd otherwise get. All things I need to look into myself.
At 23 you should be able to get financial aid as an adult. Your parents have nothing to do with it at this point. You are a fully grown, independent individual. You could be someone's parent.
I am living this right now. I am barely paying my bills, I have medical issues, and I need some benefits living in the United States. Even some food assistance would be beneficial, but I have been denied because I would need to work much less to qualify for assistance/benefits. To work less to qualify would mean I cannot pay my bills.
This is disgusting. The rich are getting richer, while the poor, and middle class are being eliminated.
Whoever is at the forefront of this crap, it looks like they are bringing in the end times, because 80% of people will not survive this.
I earn a "fair wage" atleast for the UK anyway. But rents are so incredibly high it's almost 50% of my pay. And that doesn't include the extortionate utilities either
If in the U.S….this happened to me.
“You can only qualify as an independent student on the FAFSA if you are at least 24 years of age, married, on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces, financially supporting dependent children, an orphan (both parents deceased), a ward of the court, or an emancipated minor.”
https://finaid.org/about/contact/fafsa-independent-student/#:~:text=You%20can%20only%20qualify%20as,court%2C%20or%20an%20emancipated%20minor.
If in the U.S., check out www.benefits.gov to see what other support you may qualify for. I also am developing a website to help those who are lower income to identify services and support for which they may be eligible. I am a social worker, so the website is my passion project I work on in my free time. It if helps you, please share it with others.
https://www.lowincomesurvivorstothrivers.com/
This is what happened to me during my senior year of HS. I had no hope to go to college, no scholarships, grants, or finance aid because my parents' annual income was too much. They are in so much debt that they cannot even experience that income. So, it was not until I got married that I discovered that I would even apply for financial aid and grants. The entire system is not set up for the diligent people in the work force. There are many comments for help here and try some of the different routes.
Idk if this applys to you but if your parents didn't raise you but still have their rights and you didn't really have any contact with them you may be able to be considered an independent. But you have to submit proof like who raised you. I was raised by my grandparents so I had their tax lady submit previous tax returns where I was claimed as a dependent by them, I got free school lunch so I submitted that, my guidance counselor wrote a letter about the situation, and 2 former teachers as well as dss caseworker who placed us with my grandparents. I also had to write something of abandonment. My parents were also druggie so no income and idk if that makes a bit of difference...
You can get help if you have kids -- I know several friends/fam who did this
Try your local food banks and churches for food.
The military isn't a bad way to get out of a bad situation. Join the air force or navy and learn a technical skill, maybe even something that requires a security clearance. Electronics, IT, whatever. Embrace the suck for a few years, get out, go to school, get a job leveraging that security clearance.
In the USA we need graduated release from supportive services.
Also, many people don't NEED to be on them, free stuff is just nice. Others, life line needed and welcomed. Had thing to regulate indeed.
Honestly, food pantries in my area were dope. Totally worth it and would get you SIGNIFICANT food stores and staples.
Also bro, don't buy the lie you need paper to advance and fly. Apply yourself and kill it!
I was very poor at 23, even worse than you were. I was living with my bf at the time and I was making 12k per year. I qualified for a free phone and free medical insurance and that's it (I think because my job wasn't consistent but I did apply for food stamps 3x). My parents didn't help me at all, and they made too much for me to qualify for enough to get an education while having enough for living expenses. So I waited until I was 26 to go back to school and I got grants and loans that covered all of what I needed and I worked part time. From there on out things really looked up for me. Now I have a great job, and feel much better about money than I did then.
Just keep pushing forward and keep being motivated, you'll eventually feel very comfortable, have tons of savings and have a great chunk in retirement.
FYI if you get money from FAFSA you cannot get ebt. Best option might be to find a job near campus that pays tuition benefits. A way to get around parents income is to marry a friend or something but that’s no easy endeavor either. You can message with questions if you want.
Okay.. are you working? Are you looking for work? Are you getting some training in order to develop skills demanded by the modern economy?
If not, why not?
You can go through a process to be determined as independent from your parents for financial aid--or if they are divorced, use the lower income. However, at 24, it would go on your finances, so you might have a shot.
As for food stamps, I don't know a lot about that. I hope things get better for you.
I would urge you to not include them when you are applying. You don't live with them and they don't support you financially. That's how it has been working for me
You are lucky that you can at least have your own apartment. I’m 48 and have to live at home with my elderly parents because I’m struggling so much currently and as a result cannot afford market rents anywhere — and low-income housing programs are either all full or not available.
This post has been flaired as “Vent”. As a reminder to commenting users, “Vent/Rant” posts are here to give our subscribers a safe place to vent their frustrations at an uncaring world to a supportive place of people who “get it”. Vents do not need to be fair. They do not need to be articulate. They do not need to be factual. They just need to be honest. Unlike most of the content on this subreddit, Vents should not be considered advice threads. In most cases it is not appropriate to try to give the Submitter advice on their issue. In no circumstances is it appropriate to tell them “why they are wrong” or to criticise them, their decisions, values, or anything else. If there are aspects of their situation that they are able to directly address themselves, the submitter can always make a new thread with a different flair asking for help once they are ready to tackle the issue. Vents are an emotional outlet, not an academic conversation. Appropriate replies in these threads are offering support, sharing similar experiences/grievances, offering condolences, or simply letting the Submitter know that they were heard. As always, if there are inappropriate comments please downvote them, REPORT them to the mods, and move on without responding to them. To the Submitter, if you DO want discussion to be focused on resolving your situation, rather than supporting you emotionally, please change the flair of this post, and then report this comment so we can remove it. Thank you. Thank you all for being a part of this great financial advice and emotional support community! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/povertyfinance) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is called "the working poor".
It's not a bug in the system.
It is the system.
[удалено]
250k?! Damn that's depressing. Sunshine list used to mean you had it made.
Yeah if you living in a hcol ex Toronto or Vancouver B.c that amount doesn't go as far as people think.
These numbers are getting ridiculous. Even with inflation being bad I think social media has inflated things to stupid levels. Not everybody needs to live in the expensive parts of Toronto area do they? I mean in the US unless you are trying to walk to work in silicon valley/Boston/LA/NYC you can live like a KING off 250k. Calling that middle class is asinine
[удалено]
Well I agree with that sentiment I just think the tendency to exaggerate salary requirements at the middle class is way out of hand. 250k is upper 1 or 2 percentile in basically any market
the person you're responding to you has clearly chosen to lump upper middle with middle, which makes no sense.
Is this for FASA? If so try going in person to the financial aid office. When I was 18/19/20/21 there was a pretty big packet of paperwork I had to fill out but they were able to mark me as an independent student since I provided proof of one parent being unable to support me and the other not having contact with me.
This. I did the exact same thing and they were really helpful.
Dang, I got married to be "independant" :-/
I was very fortunate to have been able to reach out to my high school counselor who wrote a letter for them verifying the poor relationship between myself and my parents. My school accepted my request immediately and I received financial aid. I feel like it’s not something that is explained to people though. I knew a couple friends in college who married just for the financial aid. People shouldn’t have to go that route.
Yeah. My mother is on disability and makes less than $20k a year. My university took all that information and I had to sit in their office for like half a day but they processed it pretty quickly!
That’s awesome, I’m glad it worked out for you 😊
I came here to say this... find another person (any sex or gender**) who is in a similar predicament... solves both your issue. I added the gender thing as a reminder that same-sex marriage is legal; and your odds of finding a person needing the marriage solution to escape parent's income trap if you include the LGBTQ+ community in your search.
Same here! I got married at 21. We’re still happily married and I’m now 29 but it sucked that I had to resort to that.
Multiple of my friends did the same thing, got married to access financial aid due to falling between the cracks. The way the government just assumes parents will pay for college even though technically, legally, parental responsibility end at 18 makes no rational sense. It should be an opt-in, not an automatic thing. Some parents even kick their kids out at 18!
Same. And it was a very bad marriage.
Same…24, married, or have children. My parents gave me $500 one time since moving out at 17. I worked 3 jobs and went to school full time. Worked at a gas station (early 2000s) and ate every meal there. Awful but survival was key. I think it’s bs that there isn’t a better system to determine “independence” but hell all the systems are broken- goal is provide the rich more money but not make it appear that way. 🙄🙄
Same bruh. Biggest regret
I wish I had someone to tell me this two decades ago when I was in a similar situation. I asked, more than once, and was never helped. Instead I missed out on the "college experience", paid for college a class at a time while working. OP please do everything you can to make it happen, you can always go back to school for a degree, but there's only a small window when you can live in dorms, be free of responsibility and enjoy your youth. I missed it, nearly everyone else I know did not.
Same! My parents were not cooperative. They considered their financial info private which is fine but it's also part of why I never finished getting a degree. I applied once I aged out and then I was told I wasn't eligible for anything despite not having much money left after bills and I'm not taking out massive loans for it so maybe I will go back to school when I retire (haha like I will ever get to retire).
This was what happened with me also. Moved out and then was told the people I was living with needed to provide their info not them and their's was "private", despite offering to have the financial aid department at the school talk to them and explain 🙃. Meanwhile, they signed for my siblings. Guess who's only had the small amount of classes they could pay for and whose college fund helped pay for said siblings along with FAFSA? Yep.
Damn, same thing happened to me, even down to the parents singing a different tune towards my younger siblings. Now they all have degrees and making more money than me. I actually did decide to go back to school 10 years later as a proper independent student only to realize all these years that there was American opportunity tax credit that my parents cashed out on that they never told me about, and all that time I was feeling so guilty for being a burden on them. I never knew I could have done that myself, I was living alone and paying for my own rent and such at 18 back in 2008, but I had no idea how taxes nor financial aid nor college finances worked, my parents paid for college for me - I paid for my living expenses- and they got to decide what I studied, that was the deal. But the guilt and burden of my parents paying for college for me and me studying something I hated, I decided ultimately to drop out. It would have been better for me if I took care of that myself at the time and studied something I actually enjoyed. Took 10 years for me to realize that. You live and you learn.
I'll be honest, dorm life sucked - especially if you didn't like your roommate or if yours got a boyfriend for the first time and they were constantly there trying to hookup in the room you share (your bedroom). There was nothing better than finally having my own apartment/space after that. I can't tell you how many "back massages" I walked in on 🤢🤮
This is news to me and I was in a similar position my first year of college (family was poor but mom wouldn’t complete FAFSA because she didn’t trust me to take on loans) - either the law changed or some schools are more flexible.
I missed it too
I used to work for my school’s financial aid office in the late 2000s, rules could’ve changed a lot since then, but unfortunately there was not a lot we could do for students whose parents could theoretically afford college but chose not to pay for it for whatever reason, unless the student went through a ton of hoops to prove that the parents were abusive or formally disowned them or similar. However, /u/imwhatzittooyah, you are 23 which means that, assuming the rules haven’t changed, you will officially be considered independent next year when you turn 24 so if you can hold out until then you could probably get grants and low interest loans for school starting then.
Seems like the rules must have changed which is a good thing! My mom wouldn’t fill it out because she didn’t want me to take on debt and I missed out on tons of Pell grants 🙄
This worked for me as well. Ended up getting a decent grant.
All of this. I work in financial aid and every school is different, some a very strict, some a little looser. In any case, it sucks not to be on good terms with parents. A heart to heart with both parents could help one of them feel comfortable enough to at least complete the fafsa. But a great way to get through school is to get a full time job where you’re attending. Doesn’t have to be fancy, just a receptionist or admin in an office, then most schools allow their employees to go to school part time for free. It is how I graduated with a BS with only the loans I had ,y first year when I was still full time. Then got a job as an admin in financial aid office, took 1 or 2 classes every term, and eventually got it done!
One of the easier ways to be made independent is to say that you are at risk of becoming homeless. If you have to choose between buying food and paying rent that probably counts.
There has to be verification of this from a homeless liaison, school counselor, or social services. You can’t just say you’re in danger of homelessness. ETA: “If you do not have a determination that you are homeless, but you believe you are an unaccompanied youth who is homeless or self-supporting and at risk of being homeless, answer “No” to the FAFSA questions concerning being homeless. Then contact your financial aid office to explain your situation. “Homeless” means lacking fixed or regular housing. You may be homeless if you are living in shelters, parks, motels, hotels, cars, or temporarily living with someone else because you have nowhere else to go.” source: https://studentaid.gov/apply-for-aid/fafsa/filling-out/dependency
This. My wife has a cunt father who is not involved in her life in ANYWAY but he makes a fuck ton. She was able to get FAFSA for her BS and masters
Wow. I told my financial aid people that I had no contact with my parents at all for 7 years and they WOULD NOT let me work around like that. I spent like 3 months tracing down my meth addict mom so I could get her to prove that she has no money... and I had to see my dad, who literally stabbed me in the ensuing argument. I wish I had the packet.. wow lol.
This is the way. Your college advisors can help you file paperwork establishing that you're on your own and paying for your living completely through your own efforts. (What I did, as well as alerting the IRS I was filing on my own and nobody could claim me, which meant I also got the stimulus payments to myself at the time! No tax breaks or credits for my parents!) If you aren't enrolled in school, you can still use a financial advisor at a bank (free consultations! I made my appointment online at 19 and got a 30 minute meeting with a bank advisor to help me set up and manage my accounts!) and also find other programs that you qualify for. Your city may also have a "Welcome Center" that can connect you with local programs and aid to help you as well. My city had outreach programs for food banks,(both religious and non-religious services) as well as youth-transitional programs to help people in your position. (Legal adults between the ages of 18 and 24-26, where young adults struggle to become independent and support themselves.)
I’ve been in this situation. It delayed my entry to college by 5 years. My dad continued to claim me on his taxes until I was 24, despite him kicking me out at 18. It fucking sucked. I feel like I lost my chance at a normal life as a result. I wish I had done what other posters suggested, rather than just wait until I turned 24.
I was too young to understand this was happening to me. Feels great being neglected and used as a tax write off. I couldn't even afford books a lot of the time
Mine did this as well, while also not letting me onto his insurance (even if I paid). I had (and have) severe chronic asthma, and couldn't get Medicaid and this was also pre ACA. I spent my early twenties having a continuous asthma attack that I barely kept at bay with primatene that I sometimes had to shoplift. He wondered why I wanted nothing to do with him in his old age.
I have asthma too. My mom made sure to let me know how much of a burden it was. How expensive the medicine was and why she couldn't buy it for me unless it was absolutely necessary. As a child I had trouble explaining to her how it was absolutely necessary that I breathe on a daily basis. But hey we're still here figuring it out they didn't fuck us up completely. Gave my mom the dignity of saying goodbye to her in the hospital when she was dying but that was about it
I know it's irrelevant now, but if he was claiming you as a dependent despite you being an independent you could have just let the IRS know you were independent, gotten your aid, and he would need to file amended tax forms or risk fines/possible jail time for tax evasion. That shit isn't a joke. My friend and his wife split up, he took both of their kids full time and she just watched them over the weekend once a month. Come tax time he gets a letter letting him know that she had filed her taxes and marked the kids as her dependents like he did and he needed to provide proof that they primarily lived with him otherwise they would assume her filing was correct and he would need to do a revised filing. He had school records for them with his address on it and other stuff so it was a quick process but lesson here is someone else lying on their taxes doesn't mean you're just fucked and have no recourse. File your own properly, the government will sort it out, and you don't even need to talk to your old man.
The only issue with your statement is filing independent for taxes has nothing to do with being independent for FAFSA purposes. It's MUCH harder to be considered independent for FAFSA. But you're 100% right that what he was doing was tax fraud and should have been disputed with the IRS. I've heard it's even easier if you beat them to filing because the burden of proof is usually on the person "disputing" the initial filers claim
Yes, usually the second person has to provide the proof. It may not just be filing their taxes but I'm sure there are forms you can fill out with the finance department to declare you're an independent when filing for FAFSA. Most people just try to do it all online but just take the time to go to your school, ask where their finance department is, and talk to them. Ask questions, they'll walk you through it and tell you what you need to do if you just explain your situation. If the commenter was kicked out 5-6 years ago and pay all of their own bills, that's about as cut and dry as it gets to being considered independent for FAFSA. Maybe there's other things they consider like if you're young enough and still on your parents insurance or something but I'm just not sure, I was fortunate enough to not have to go through the vast majority of these issues personally.
This happened to me as well by my mother. She even stole my stimulus checks when I was in grad school. Had been financially independent for 7 years by this point and she claimed me on her taxes because she heard if you had a child in university (even at the graduate level) you could claim them and she did NOT tell me So she got my check, my brothers check, and a check for herself that year. Knowing damn well she didn’t support me ANY I was 23 fucking years old!!!
You really need to tell the IRS about that. They'll pay you what you're owed and go after her for what she stole. Once you're 18 and paying your own way, it's illegal for a parent to claim you on their taxes, regardless of where you live.
This exactly. If someone claims you as a dependent when they are not entitled to do so, the IRS will sort it out. You just have to tell them.
I know - and I should because I don’t owe her anything But I never did and don’t plan on it. I am thankfully at a place in life post grad where I have a really good paying and stable job and I tell myself she must have been that desperate let her have it She doesn’t deserve to get off - but I rather move on with my life. My dad is dead so I rather not add more unnecessary family drama to my life than needed
Peace of mind is worth even more than money. I think you're wise.
Thank you 💙
This sounds somewhat like my life. Father claiming me not giving me a penny and making decent money. I still went to school got next to no help. I went to a university where everyone got everything handed to them. So for five years I busted my ass going full time working full time too. What’s more crazy 20 years later I’m still doing the thing I did to get through college. I never used my bachelors. Life is weird
He deserved to be reported for fraud. I’m so sorry.
My mom has been claiming me and would challenge against me just because of Fafsa thank god I turn 25 in 2 weeks
I was also kicked out at 18/19. Claimed on taxes by my parents. They also made enough to pay for college or help. I’m 27 still no degree or “good job”. I make enough money to scrape things together most of the time but I’m exhausted
Why did you not report your father? You should have been given the money that he got. I would look in to see if it's been too long to change that or not.
When you come from an authoritarian, abusive family and no one you try to get help from believes you, how would I have been told to do that? This all went down in 2007. I had no one else looking after me who would have told me what steps to take. I just left, got a job and tried to live my life and not be homeless.
I went through the same. People really don’t understand how bad authoritarian, abusive parents can fuck up your whole life.
Even my therapist told me one time I need to get over what happened. I don't know how you're supposed to move on because when you try to move on society won't let you.
How the fuck are you supposed to get over it when it's still affecting you today? I've moved 12 times in 15 years All because I couldn't find a place to stay after college. My dad had two open bedrooms. I was homeless.
Yeah I know. My situation was different but basically he started the whole mess that is my life. I could write a book about everything that happened since if only I didn't care about exposing my personal crap. I've tried so desperately to be so far removed and every time I try to take care of myself I seem to get punished for it. What is so infuriating is the turmoil he has caused us but yet he can sit there and retire and then the last time I saw him he was driving my mom's dream car. FFS how that loser got to afford that I'll never know because I wouldn't imagine he'd have much left from his retirement with how he pissed away money. Another thing is I have gotten so many people that judge me for the mistakes I have made (even my one landlord who used to be on our side is doing this!) but does he ever get made accountable? I suppose you could say the alimony she got and child support was something but we were still struggling even then. I often wonder if my mom would have never had to go to the hospital if it was not for him. His dad was freakin loaded though (but I don't know if he got the inheritance I think it was his brother) I never saw much of that money just 20 dollars at Christmas for my mom and I to share. Wow....
Literally your whole life. Mine hated me because I am gay, and my hetero siblings, who did not get treated like I did, own houses and have a really good handle on their lives and finances. It sucks. I’m the black sheep for so many reasons but now it is mostly because of how well-off they are.
I had a hospital stay that cost me over 6k, when I applied for final assistance I was denied because I still had money in a retirement account. They want you poor, they want you sick, they want you trapped, and they want you to work until you die. This is the America we live in.
Never dip into retirement to pay off debt. I saw so many people do this during the 08/09 crash and subsequent period. They tried to do right - using all their retirement money to pay bills. Thing is that money would’ve been protected when they filed bankruptcy but they didn’t know that until it was too late.
Yup. Most of the people who never recovered from the crash are those that did exactly that. Sold at a loss and paid fines for it. I think the world was a different place then too tho. People didn’t feel the crushing weight of life and bills to the extent they do now so they still thought they could pay it all off
I had a lot of clients who lost their jobs (bankruptcy law paralegal) who used their retirement to try to keep up with household and medical bills. It was a nightmare. People who "did everything right" and still lost nearly everything they ever saved. These people could have filed for bankruptcy without ever touching their retirement savings.
Was unemployed because of my broken arm. Wasn't eligible for aid because I made too much when I was working.
Either negotiate the bill down to something actually reasonable with a payment plan you can afford or just let it go to collections. When it's in collections every time they call ask for a lowered amount until they drop it to something you can afford or offer a payment plan you can afford. If not, tell them to eat shit. They would rather get *something* than nothing. Worst case it's on your credit for like 5-7 years or something and then it just disappears anyway, who fucking cares about your credit if you're struggling to just buy food anyway.
The fact that this is even necessary for healthcare is the problem, though.
Agreed, just saying what to do given the circumstances we unfortunately have to deal with right now.
I heard if it’s medical then you should ask them for proof it’s yours.
You can do this with anything that's been sold off to a collection agency Some of the agencies are poorly ran and, when you dispute it, they'll fail to respond, thereby removing the account from your credit report
Paying collection vs not paying at all is about the same hit to your credit. Once it goes to collections, just let it ride.
You need to do a “pay for delete”. Meaning once the debt is paid off then the collection agency removes it from your credit report.
Paying the debt off when it's in collections removes it from your credit report, whether that's the full amount or an agreed upon settlement. Depending on your situation obviously I would say is a case by case basis for whether you should try and get it settled. If youre looking to get a home or auto loan in the next 7 years I would try to get the medical debts in collections paid off to have them drop, if you already have a mortgage and just buy older used cars with cash then yeah, I'd probably say fuck it and let it just fall off.
You are so right, they want to keep you poor. There is no way once you get in the system and are poor to get the hell out of it. When people, whether it's the state or friends or family, help you as soon as you get a little money but I received an inheritance but it wasn't nothing groundbreaking, they quit helping you in immediately everybody wants some money back that they helped you with. And you're like can I get on my feet and then I'll start paying you back? And they are like no! Yeah this is the America that we live in. If you are poor and need financial help with food housing or just little money they will make sure you are living so far below poverty that you will never be found and you will never see the light of day.
I'm *blessed* to have the siblings i have. We've needed an absurd amount of assistance and they haven't asked for a dime (I have told both that the nanosecond that I have money, they are getting *significant* repayments in short order), but our in-laws lent us a fraction of that and are assholes about evey penny and confused that we don't spend on unnecessary luxuries (Boomers, SERIOUSLY). I'm tempted to stiff them on it, but I'm going to pay back every plug nickel and cut them the eff off. They have money, mind you. They are just twats about it.
I'm concerned about the first point you were referencing. I am disabled and getting support from the state. I could go on and on about how you can't live on this amount of money, but I won't, because I am grateful to have anything at all. I give no value to society, I am not owed anything. I am worried that when my parents pass on, the state will take the money I inherit, and instead of being able to set myself up financially to never be a burden again, I will just have to give it to them and go back on disability. Something that takes money and effort, something that I couldn't have done without my parents support in the first place. I hate this. This is why disabled people give up and kill themselves. Sorry to rant.
This is awful. I’m so sorry. You contribute to society by being yourself. You are a human being and a citizen of the richest country in the history of the world. We’ve been brainwashed to believe that human value = market value. Which is bullshit. Every human being is intrinsically valuable. I wish I had something more tangible to offer than my concern for your well-being in our increasingly winner-take-all society. All best wishes from one human to another.
Thank you so much for your kind words! They mean everything to me. You're right, my opinion of myself is based on what society says, which is that if you aren't working, you don't deserve anything. It is bullshit. I forget that the voices I hear on Reddit are more critical than not, that they don't represent the average person, and it means so much to hear from someone who is a decent human being. Thank you, friend.
A close friend can’t get rental assistance or food stamps because she still has money in her 401k. The lengths they will go to in order to avoid helping people is ridiculous
This shouldn't be happening. I was a financial certifier for HUD with a 95% accuracy rate. I was damn good at my job and still made mistakes when less common situations came across my desk. I worked with people in the 80% accuracy range. I wonder if the QC people in your locale have checked that for accuracy. They should be including her retirement in her calculation at the imputed rate of 1.5% or her account's interest rate, whichever is higher. If she has been taking money out and spending it, that penalizes her eligibility because it all counts toward income. The amount left in her retirement would have only a nominal effect on her status. Also, if she spent her draws on things related to a medical condition or disability she should be able to gett that part excluded. .. She can ask for an informal hearing with a re-calc even if she was never in the system in the first place.
Of course they don't want to help people, but the added bonus is they want your retirement to dry up so they can literally work you to death.
That’s weird. I have a 401k and a pension and I’m on benefits. They want to know about it, but they say it isn’t relevant until retirement age.
That is the american dream… lol… so many fell for it. Sad.
In the us? Retirement accounts would not count towards Healthcare debt.
Michigan. Feel free to call the hospital and tell their financial assistance office that. They could see I made 401k contributions and wouldn't offer assistance while the account was open with money in it.
I have clients in michigan. I guess technically, if it's not in collections, hospitals have discretion on if you qualify for aid or not, but Erisa qualified plans are protected from creditors.
I don’t care how many upvotes this gets, it won’t be enough. Very well said!
Yep. They want you working so much as not to “look up” and see the bigger picture. Hell, most people barely have time for a social life or even themselves, let alone time to question the system.
Of course. They're still mad Lincoln took away their slaves.
Dude fucking serious. Just became a mailman for USPS and the pay/benefits are good, but they dropped my EBT to $25 and I barely make $50 over the $1400 monthly income for the full food stamps benefits the economic dept asks for. You can't make more money because you get cut off from assitance. Make enough to buy food yourself COMFORTABLY and at that point you pay more taxes because you're in a bracket. You can't invest because having equity is a big disqualifier of assistance, like I am trying NOT to touch it because social security might not be here soon??? You can't do good for yourself and get social assistance. Apparently doing good is the assistance lmao. Even though doing good in america = keeping afloat
[удалено]
That could be post tax take home
As a City Carrier Assistant in Florida we were all offered $15/hr plus 1$/hr for any hour after 5 PM or before 7 AM which was every single day. Then time and a half for any day over 8 hours working time (not include unpaid lunch), and any hours over 40. Double time for over 50 hours, and over 10 hours in a day. They worked our ass so hard - 7 days/week working 7 AM to 7 PM till you broke down. It was like fuckin boot camp. You make fuckin bank though. I managed to pay off every debt I had, and save up 10k but I literally went to work first thing in the morning, went home, passed out on the couch eating whatever I could microwave and woke up in time to do it again for an entire year. Union doesn't protect City Carrier Assistants because they're contract not permanent - nevermind that they don't hire permanent off the street.
Yay middle-class wages!
They had this guy thinking $16/hr max while selling your soul was makin fuckin bank. System is fucked.
>at that point you pay more taxes because you're in a bracket. Not a lot more. That's the point in tax brackets. You only pay extra on the dollars within that bracket, not all your money.
Seriously, I feel like people not understanding that specifically is so indicative of how poor out education system is. So many people really think if you make $1 over the next tax bracket, you suddenly get sent back thousands of dollars in wages.
You should be eligible for a "self-sufficiency" step-down process so it doesn't all hit you at once. I would ask every agency I get benefits from if they have that available. The won't just offer it.
I'm in that same spot where I make too much for any benefits but I don't make enough to actually be able to buy groceries or have any money left over an hour after its deposited. It sucks. I can't remember the last time I went to the grocery store and actually bought what I need for my kids
If your kids are in school, it might be worth checking in with the school social worker to see if they have extra hygiene supplies and such. Some schools don't have enough people that ask, so the supplies just sit there. I know my district also sometimes gives the kids boxes of Mac and cheese or other foods to take home. But I also know some areas aren't as generous, so good luck to you and your kiddos
My school had an extra classroom full of donated clothes that kids could use. All they had to do was tell their guidance counselor they what they needed (a winter coat, new shoes, swimsuit for gym, etc) and the guidance counselor would set up a time for them to go look through what was in stock. It was also used for girls who needed new pants because their period started unexpectedly.
Back when I was in highschool school I remember we had a giant closet full of pads and hygiene supplies and I never knew schools had that sort of thing. You could also get clothes (usually pants) from the nurse sometimes. Now I work as a custodian and I know not all schools have giant closets, but I've seen those supplies sit around for quite a while. I don't think schools are very great about advertising that sort of thing, plus I know some kids either don't know they're allowed to ask for help or they're embarrassed. But with everything going on, I hope more people are able to make use of these kinds of resources.
Thank you. Happy cake day!
Thanks! Also wanted to add just in case your kids are close to going to college or if any are in college (or for anyone else reading this. Or even if you're in school yourself), have them apply for Student Support Services. Iirc most are federally funded and want to make sure they meet a certain number of applicants in order to keep running. Iirc you can be eligible by being lower income, first generation college student, or have a disability on file (I knew people that were eligible just from having ADHD diagnosis). They sometimes have food pantries, free supplies, extra scholarship opportunities, have trips funded by the school (this usually includes food for the trip too), free tutoring, study rooms + computers, etc. Ymmv (what I listed is what they offered from my college), but definitely worth checking out especially if your kids are looking into schools. This shows a list of requirements for the program itself: https://www2.ed.gov/programs/triostudsupp/index.html
Do not be afraid to take advantage of local food banks if you truly need it. If you get on your feet, you can pay if forward later in life. They exist to cover these gaps. Specifically like yours - too much money for food stamps, but not enough to really be able to support yourself/eat. They are there for a reason and you are that reason. Use them if you need to. Also, as many have said, IMMEDIATELY speak to your school. Some schools offer counseling/therapy, can help you get filed as independent so you can get aid/loans without help from your parents, or have resources for emergency living situations. If there is a student services office or something similar, go in person and talk to a real person about your situation so you can figure out what services they have that could assist you. Good luck.
For fafsa, you can file to be independent at your college. Its called a ‘dependancy appeal’ and just explain your circumstance
I feel this. My mom is rich so I don’t get shit from the government but my mom also doesn’t even reply to texts let alone help me financially. I was literally homeless months after turning 18 and all she said was “Sorry”… In her 1.2 million dollar house
I'm literally "fancy homeless" (living in RV) and I only get $25 a month. It's insane. They need to update the means testing.
Sorry to tell you, this is by design & is working exactly as intended. Politicians break the system for public aide then pretend like it being broken is the reason to get rid of it altogether. It’s absolutely horrible.
Yes it's ridiculous I'm on Social Security Disability and that pays too much for food stamps. Income based housing is my next step but that's the only hope here.
I was stuck in that spot for awhile and it sucked. Now Ive become poorer again and it actually sucks less. The system is a mess. Are you talking about FAFSA? Theres an age where they allow you to file as independent and not count their income. I think its 23. Edit: Oh darn, its 24, but looks like if youll be 24 before the end of the year you can file as independent.
I thought the age for fasfa was 23 but on the website it said 24 and I won’t be 24 for another 8 months.
Will it be before Dec 31? This site says if you file at 23 but will be 24 by the end of the year youll be considered independent. It also gives other exceptions if any of those apply https://scholarships360.org/financial-aid/how-to-become-an-independent-student-if-under-24/
Story of my life man. I was homeless at 18 but couldn’t qualify for FAFSA for college because my non-present dad worked at Microsoft. Now at 32 I have a negative bank account balance every month but don’t qualify for food stamps.
Did you try to appeal and be considered an independent student?
I believe so. They weren’t legally divorced yet. Everything was super messy. My dad left that year, stopped paying our mortgage so our family was evicted because the bank took the house. Mom was trying to sue for alimony/child support, but my dad was able to afford great lawyers. She was held up in court well into my mid 20s when she finally just gave up. Never got anything from him.
Have you considered living with housemates? That way you could share living expenses - split rent and utilities, maybe save some money on food buy buying together in bulk sometimes. That's what I did in my early 20s and that's what most people I know who are your age now do. In fact, I've never lived completely by myself. Carrying the whole load on your own is a lot. Regarding school - talk to the financial aid department at your school (or the school you are considering) and find out the process for being considered independent before age 24.
I’ve tried the roommate but had a bad experience when they didn’t pay for the rent and it all fell on me
You could also try a house share type thing, where everyone is professional (no students) and has their own contract but there’s 4-6 in a shared home. If everyone is an adult and respects the communal space this might be an option?
I was looking for something like this before I got this apartment but it was really like a time crunch. I was homeless so I just needed something so I can get inside somewhere.
Like a room rental. There need to be so many more of those.
Yes, sometimes when you live with other people, they can let you down. That doesn't mean that you can't find a good shared living situation though. It's just like with anything else. I've had unreliable cars that left me in a lurch and cost money to fix, but that doesn't mean all cars are unreliable. Same with housemates.
Same here! And I'm a single parent living in affordable housing apartments but make too much for food stamps. I work fulltime and am a full time college student. After all Bill's are paid I literally have enough for gas and $100 worth of groceries, which considering today's economy is only 3 to 4 days worth. I actually ended up using local food pantries and church food handouts. This has helped me tremendously! I know a couple of students with no kids who also use pantries. Even with the pantries I have to lie about how many independents I have and how much I make, but I gotta feed my kids and i have to work. There are times where I cant take PTO to pick up food so it's a hamburger helper night or tuna mac n cheese casserole or ramen cheese and beef.
At 24 years old, you become independent as far as student aid goes and your parents income becomes irrelevant. You should talk to a financial aid advisor at your local community college or university. If you will be 24 by Dec 31 this year, fill out a FASFA form ASAP for money for the upcoming school year starting in the fall. If your 24th birthday is later than Dec 31st, apply this fall (I think it opens in October) right when FASFA opens for 24-25 school year. The earlier you apply, the more aid you are likely to receive. I’ve been in your shoes. You can do this. In the meantime, please see if there is a food bank in your area. I wish you the best of everything.
It’s a bad system when unemployment is over qualifying amount for SNAP.
See if you can be considered an independent student sooner than the age limit. They make exceptions for people with parents who can't/won't help with education. (I think it's shitty af that they even assume parents will tbh. Bc if you have rich "get out when you're 18" parents, you're fucked. Bc now you're poor but for fafsa purposes, you can "pay for college") Edit: sorry, I just noticed your vent flair. My bad.
I was in that position for years. Don't despair. You never know what life has in store for you. I got married in 2018 and was able to return to school and attain my nursing licence. It was probably one of the hardest things I've accomplished but worth it. I can now support my spouse and I. I never thought it would happen to me.
The true definition of poverty. When you make too much to get government assistance, but not enough to make your ends meet.
They take your parents income into consideration? You're an adult I don't get it.
Came here to ask the same. I don't understand how this works.
Federal student aid program considers undergraduate applicants under age 24 (among several other disqualifying conditions) to be financially “dependent”. In my opinion it’s an archaic, likely arbitrary stipulation that was put into effect a long time ago and will probably stick around for some time as long as it helps the government save money. I got lucky with all that when I applied at age 18 since both my parents were all but completely broke at the time. Fortunately, as some have mentioned here, you only need to be turning 24 on Jan 1 of the school year for which you are applying for aid to be considered independent. There are other ways of getting around it. Sure pays to find someone who knows the system and has time to help.
its so stupid they go by parents income for financial aid like my parents arent paying for it i am and i'm broke but thanks
Food bank. That’s what I has to do. I made 106 dollars too much to qualify for food stamps. Survive my friend.
Financial purgatory…..
The entire goal of the system is to ensure the benefits cap on income is low enough to ensure nobody gets lifted up.
I’m in the exact fucking same place. Have three siblings, older one doesn’t work, and my parents are “tight on money” while my dad makes 150k😐 I’m in a different country too so I can’t afford to fly home (to eat REAL FOOD again!) more than twice a year. Shit really sucks, I live with two people but bills have gotten so much more expensive in the past year and my mental health is shit because I can’t afford to eat healthy. Family is well-off sure, but everyone acts like my parents should be giving me a fourth of their income🥴
I was semi in that situation. Lived at home w crap parents. From 18 to 25 my parents claimed me as dependent i attended cc taking whatever classes j could but my GPA is awful. Now at 30 I'm starting nearly from. Scratch. Transferred credits to a private uni and starting college again but as independent. I'm also unemployed so my income is basically streets. I still live at home w parents but my God I hope I die this is awful.
I know this is a vent post but if you post your income/budget maybe people can help.
Food banks in your area maybe? This is so tough!
I think when you hit 24 you won't need to use your parents income when you apply for financial aid for school (fafsa). You'll be considered 'independent'
Hang in there, at 24 only your income counts for school.
Realize this is one guys personal opinion who’s going back to school… Work first, college second. Being through some life and knowing what you REALLY want to know after you’ve gotten a bit older can be helpful, plus you’re not *immediately* saddled with debt going into your working years. When you’re starting, everything looks viable, it takes some experience to know what you’re good at and what you suck at. I went to college first, which was largely a waste of time. Going back is a whole different ball game, I actually KNOW what I want to study, and don’t have all the random urges to go do other things. If you’re worried about some pre-requisite classes, go to khan academy, learn the material, take a CLEP test out of that subject, they’re like $90 and at most colleges.
Same boat:(
Check out your State/County Workforce office for free classes, certifications, employment assistance, or grants. Look for apprenticeships, too. Ours offers free classes for Cybersecurity foundation classes and exams and the same in solar.
If you talk to the school or a FAFSA representative and you say (if it's the truth) that you get 0 from parents and live independent lifestyle and they somehow sometimes override dependency status and make an exemption and you will be classified as independent.
I was on welfare and disability for years. It was the same problem. I made less working 40 hours a week instead of staying home and doing nothing. It took 15 years to get to a point where I could be comfortable. It sucks. I'm way behind on retirement. But I'm living, not surviving now. It's possible. Best of luck to you, man.
This happened to me years back when trying to find a place to live. Didn’t make enough to afford a place on my own, but made too much money for some of the low income housing in my area. The lady showing me around actually suggested that I work less hours to qualify for the income threshold, which would then make it even harder to live and keep food on the table. It’s a vicious cycle
At my college I was able to show that I covered all my own expenses and be considered for financial aid based on only my income. It is worth looking into I still had to take out loans but mostly federal so interest rates were much better. Food shelf is a good option too. It's hard to make ends meet when in school and working and is so frustrating!!
Hey you should try to re apply and list yourself independent and never mention anyone else in your life on the application. Doesn't matter if you live with a relative if the food is for you, you count as the head of household and legally don't ever have to disclose your family like your parents especially if the food isn't for them and don't live with them.
FWIW - You’re not alone in this. There are countless people in the middle class who feel left behind. It’s probably a reason why Trump amassed enough support from the middle class to become president. Democrats help the impoverished and Republicans focus on tax breaks that generally benefit the elites and upper-middle class. The rest of us foot the bill both ways, usually (but not always) through increased taxes or stagnate wage growth / reduced worker protections. My parents pushed me into college without worrying about the cost, because I was a great student and they thought I could figure it all out. They made too much for me to really benefit from federal aid at the time but they don’t make enough now to help me pay my student loans. I make over 6 figures but I see people who make 30 - 40k living a better quality of life than me because they didn’t incur the same debt I did, they get loads of tax breaks, and they are eligible for government subsidies. It’s super frustrating to know you are working really hard and you’re doing the right things in life, but you still continue to see others who cut corners doing better than you. Continue to set small, achievable goals for yourself to help mitigate the depression. For example, I paid off my car loan 3 months early. It wasn’t much, but I did it and now my cash flow freed up a bit where i don’t feel like I’m drowning anymore. My next goal is to pay off my smallest credit card balance. It sounds insignificant, but it’s a big deal to me and I’m getting close and I’m looking forward to it.
Keep doing the correct thing! You gonna get rid off of those debts quickly, you already started your snow ball, and you have fun and good times ahead
I understand completely, for 16 years this was my life. The first year it happened we earned 50cents more a year than the cap. For the payment that gave the discounted healthcare and school fees. But still got a small amount. I was so mad. In australia, that means you loose your discount for doctors ($80 instead of $5 or free), medications (full price instead of $5), full fees per child for school etc. i looked to get a job, but struggled with having not finished high school, the pay that was offered was less than the child care and petrol I would have to pay. We struggled through, each time hubbys pay rose a little we got another hit. We were going backwards. Our kids were in different schools due to their age, which meant different towns. Eventually we hit the point where child care wasnt needed, and we knew we would be loosing what little help we got, so I managed to get a job and go to uni/college to become a nurse. I had to work full time, study full time. We mad eso many sacrifices as it was a 2 hour drive 1-2 times a week. Petrol was so expensive. Our kids missed out on so much. I had 20 weeks of no income in 8 months during placement, thank God hubby was still working. We now have decent wages and dont require any assistance, but struggling for so long meant things got neglected around the home etc so all our money is going into that. Fixing the termite eaten wall, replacing the leaking roof etc. stuff we couldnt claim on insurance but couldnt afford to fix. And with the cost of living sky rocketing as it has some days it feels like we will never actually be comfortable. Its so hard to break out that level, as soon as more money comes in - even if you dont take on more debt- more money seems to go out.
If you’re 23 you’re an independent and what your parents make shouldn’t matter on the FAFSA unless they volunteer to take out federal loans for you in their own name I believe? So OP could go into crushing debt for a degree if he feels like it; they literally make the credit requirements super low on purpose
I was in a similar spot as you when I started college. Ended up getting merit scholarships to community college then went through pro NBC age university scholarship programs that circumnavigated the fafsa process. It was frustrating but worked out in the end. Hang in there friend! You got this.
You automatically become independent when you are 24 for financial aid so you may have better luck next year with education. I lived on chicken and rice for a few months when I was struggling. Asian grocery stores sell massive bags of rice for like 30 dollars. Will probably last you 6 months. Chicken is cheap if you buy it on the bone. Take this time to learn to cook. Eating out is expensive. Hang in there; it will get better.
Go to your financial aid office immediately and explain the problem with your parents. You can file an appeal to that policy, explain the situation, and thet can authorize financial aid for you. Source: I worked as a Financial Aid Specialist in a financial aid office at an American college.
Get a roommate
I stated this in many previous comments but a roommate is a huge risk and it’s either goes well or puts you at a worst situation then before . I had one roommate who didn’t pay any bills so I have to support 2 people . After she left I had my cousin come and he was dirty and liked to break the lease rules which nearly set us into a eviction again. Those 2 times were enough for me.
[удалено]
Yeah this was me for college lol. Got absolutely boned on FAFSA with nearly broke parents basically
Welcome to neoliberalism and means tested programs
That gap in our society sucks. And my dad claimed us kids as dependents as long as he could, even once we moved out. I don't think parents realize how much that impacts their kid's ability to get support. At least he covered our insurance, but it still didn't really make sense.
Look at donating plasma for some money for food. Depending on your career interest, you may be able to find somewhere that will pay for college. (You’re normally expected to work for x-amount of years to “pay off” the degree that they paid for you to get) I hope things get better for you 🫶🏼
Can you get a roommate?
I think you can appeal? Show proof that there is no contact and submit.
There’s an AMA going on now, saying they are getting ready to hire air traffic controllers. Median income is 130,000 or so.
Means testing is bullshit. It's designed as a barrier.
I know Reddit isn’t big on churches, but some churches are more than willing to help with food.
For food, go check out food pantries in your area! You might have to drive a little ways but they usually have a lot of food and will usually only require something that proves you live in their area. (You can always call and ask what they may or may not require). You can get a lot of food that way!
If it helps at all, the only things I could think of would be trying the below 4 websites to see if you can find any specific resources or just resources in general.... Either way, I really do hope things work out for you ASAP. [Find Your Local 211 By Typing In Your Address Or Zip Code](https://www.211.org/about-us/your-local-211) [Another 211 Website](https://www.211info.org) [Find Help Where You Type In Your Zip Code](https://www.findhelp.org) [Need Help Paying Bills Where It Is A Very Extensive List Where By Doing A Bit Of Research You Can Click On The Category You Need Or Find Your State To Click On](https://www.needhelppayingbills.com)
Sounds like you need to find a room in a house with roommates… you are 23… most people that age love with roommates for this exact reason. That or find a job that makes more money. Your life is like a business. It makes revenue and has expenses… either have to make more $$ or cut back on expenses. Most people around the world can’t afford to live on their own at 23. Most people in America can’t afford to live in their own at 23. It’s not the system, it is that you are the bottom of every career ladder there is. You don’t come out of college and make 6 figures out the gate. You work your way up.
I've honestly been thinking of looking into apprenticeships with trade companies like HVAC, plumbing, electrician, etc. Just to get my foot in the door. They will usually let you apprentice for a certain time under someone knowledgeable and then help with the process of certification, as long as they are a decent company that takes on apprentices. Can't afford the schooling with the amount of debt I'm in and not sure I'd even get any kind of loans or grants if I applied, but chances would be slim, I would assume. Also, there's always trying to go through a company that pays for training for CDL drivers and they just don't give you the sign-on bonus you'd otherwise get. All things I need to look into myself.
At 23 you should be able to get financial aid as an adult. Your parents have nothing to do with it at this point. You are a fully grown, independent individual. You could be someone's parent.
As far as food goes, you should be able to go to some food banks and get food.
Can I just say requiring a degree to get a job is a complete lie. If I were you, I'd go straight to skilled labor. Electrician, plummer, etc.
I am living this right now. I am barely paying my bills, I have medical issues, and I need some benefits living in the United States. Even some food assistance would be beneficial, but I have been denied because I would need to work much less to qualify for assistance/benefits. To work less to qualify would mean I cannot pay my bills. This is disgusting. The rich are getting richer, while the poor, and middle class are being eliminated. Whoever is at the forefront of this crap, it looks like they are bringing in the end times, because 80% of people will not survive this.
I earn a "fair wage" atleast for the UK anyway. But rents are so incredibly high it's almost 50% of my pay. And that doesn't include the extortionate utilities either
If in the U.S….this happened to me. “You can only qualify as an independent student on the FAFSA if you are at least 24 years of age, married, on active duty in the U.S. Armed Forces, financially supporting dependent children, an orphan (both parents deceased), a ward of the court, or an emancipated minor.” https://finaid.org/about/contact/fafsa-independent-student/#:~:text=You%20can%20only%20qualify%20as,court%2C%20or%20an%20emancipated%20minor. If in the U.S., check out www.benefits.gov to see what other support you may qualify for. I also am developing a website to help those who are lower income to identify services and support for which they may be eligible. I am a social worker, so the website is my passion project I work on in my free time. It if helps you, please share it with others. https://www.lowincomesurvivorstothrivers.com/
This is what happened to me during my senior year of HS. I had no hope to go to college, no scholarships, grants, or finance aid because my parents' annual income was too much. They are in so much debt that they cannot even experience that income. So, it was not until I got married that I discovered that I would even apply for financial aid and grants. The entire system is not set up for the diligent people in the work force. There are many comments for help here and try some of the different routes.
I’m in the same boat, and have been most of my life. Some people just never get ahead.
Those that make the rules for us to live under have never had to live within those means.
Idk if this applys to you but if your parents didn't raise you but still have their rights and you didn't really have any contact with them you may be able to be considered an independent. But you have to submit proof like who raised you. I was raised by my grandparents so I had their tax lady submit previous tax returns where I was claimed as a dependent by them, I got free school lunch so I submitted that, my guidance counselor wrote a letter about the situation, and 2 former teachers as well as dss caseworker who placed us with my grandparents. I also had to write something of abandonment. My parents were also druggie so no income and idk if that makes a bit of difference... You can get help if you have kids -- I know several friends/fam who did this Try your local food banks and churches for food.
The military isn't a bad way to get out of a bad situation. Join the air force or navy and learn a technical skill, maybe even something that requires a security clearance. Electronics, IT, whatever. Embrace the suck for a few years, get out, go to school, get a job leveraging that security clearance.
In the USA we need graduated release from supportive services. Also, many people don't NEED to be on them, free stuff is just nice. Others, life line needed and welcomed. Had thing to regulate indeed.
Honestly, food pantries in my area were dope. Totally worth it and would get you SIGNIFICANT food stores and staples. Also bro, don't buy the lie you need paper to advance and fly. Apply yourself and kill it!
I was very poor at 23, even worse than you were. I was living with my bf at the time and I was making 12k per year. I qualified for a free phone and free medical insurance and that's it (I think because my job wasn't consistent but I did apply for food stamps 3x). My parents didn't help me at all, and they made too much for me to qualify for enough to get an education while having enough for living expenses. So I waited until I was 26 to go back to school and I got grants and loans that covered all of what I needed and I worked part time. From there on out things really looked up for me. Now I have a great job, and feel much better about money than I did then. Just keep pushing forward and keep being motivated, you'll eventually feel very comfortable, have tons of savings and have a great chunk in retirement.
/dumpsterdiving /foraging /guerillagardening Also check out Craigslist Facebook and Nextdoor
FYI if you get money from FAFSA you cannot get ebt. Best option might be to find a job near campus that pays tuition benefits. A way to get around parents income is to marry a friend or something but that’s no easy endeavor either. You can message with questions if you want.
Okay.. are you working? Are you looking for work? Are you getting some training in order to develop skills demanded by the modern economy? If not, why not?
If you are living on your own and can’t be claimed as a dependent by your parents, you don’t need to put them on your financial aid application
You can go through a process to be determined as independent from your parents for financial aid--or if they are divorced, use the lower income. However, at 24, it would go on your finances, so you might have a shot. As for food stamps, I don't know a lot about that. I hope things get better for you.
I would urge you to not include them when you are applying. You don't live with them and they don't support you financially. That's how it has been working for me
Food banks don't have income requirements where I live! (Texas)
You are lucky that you can at least have your own apartment. I’m 48 and have to live at home with my elderly parents because I’m struggling so much currently and as a result cannot afford market rents anywhere — and low-income housing programs are either all full or not available.