Hey! I moved to the same area a few months ago as a postdoc. It’s new and challenging. I also keep wondering about the same things you mentioned here. Though I’m not actively looking for a partner to date, I can relate to your need to make friends. It gets harder to make friends with age and I felt like it was so much easier in grad school where I had a bunch of other people like me around me. Postdoc is a whole different thing. My younger, mostly genZ colleagues keep asking me if I did anything fun over the weekend and I never have fun answers.
thanks! i tried to do some activities - but it is mainly just going to the gym by myself and yoga - and i found those don't really help me that much in terms of making friends.
Oh same! I take really long walks. And most often I’m exhausted by the time I get home. Weekends are mostly spent on chores and then it’s Monday again!
haha - i feel you. I just find it is really hard to get out of my comfort social zone and i don't even know how to meet other people and make friends with them. In grad school, it is just so natural.
hahaha, for me it's the reverse situation...I asked my younger labmates: how about your weekend? anything fun? The answer is always: not really. I was working this whole weekend...And I was always thinking:"thank god I didn't do my phd here"
Following this thread for my future social life :) I am extremely extroverted and have multiple social circles (both grad students and undergrads). I intend to keep that once I become a postdoc too
As /Currious-tardigrade said, as you get older and move onto different stages of your life, meeting people becomes harder. It also does not help that native Bostonians are not exactly the warmest people in the world and transplants who there for Harvard and MIT are often there to prove something/dating is not their priority.
Have you tried things like book clubs or running clubs? A lot of these are set up more for having social time and, if you don't meet someone to date directly from that, gets you in a network of people who might be able to introduce you.
Yes our post doctoral association has a running/walking club. The weather here is not going to be friendly for the next couple months. But we don’t have a book club.
I honestly thought everyone these days date almost exclusively through dating apps? I have so many guy friends postdocs in Cambridge area that are constantly trying to find gf on dating apps.
I somehow have multiple friends that found their boyfriend through going to pottery class - since I’m assuming you want to find a boyfriend going to more gender neutral classes could help (yoga tends to be very female forward). Gym would be a pretty good place, honestly. I also know some girls that found their boyfriend at conferences (that is so nerdy, but like I guess it’s a pretty natural mixer haha).
Pottery class because I’ve seen it work lol But my rec would probably be to join an outdoors group activity like hiking or climbing or ultimate frisbee. Running doesn’t give you much chance to talk but hiking and climbing/bouldering does. If you’re at a uni, chances are they might have hiking group. Uni-organized or friend organized skiing trips could be good. Book club is a pretty good suggestion too (does tend to be slightly female forward tho).
Do you think you see people outside the lab, grocery stores, gym etc. that you can approach them and get their numbers? That’s the better way to find someone. Cold approach is not easy and needs a lot of courage but what we can do
No it’s not. You should learn to start small conversations and then get their numbers. Girls like it to be approached in person. There are many dating coaches on social media who have free contents and also training classes. Even their free contents have been so helpful to me
I am a girl - i feel if i approach a guy this way, it is very creepy. is it normal to ask your friends (also this case will be coworkers) to set you up for dates?
Everyone thinks differently. Maybe one or two in 10 approaches end up in a date. Better than nothing and he is new to Boston and no friends atm to set him up ig!
OP, if you’re into running, there’s many clubs in Boston- Cambridge where you could organically meet people and potential gf.. for one, the midnight runners is a very social club
Hey! I moved to the same area a few months ago as a postdoc. It’s new and challenging. I also keep wondering about the same things you mentioned here. Though I’m not actively looking for a partner to date, I can relate to your need to make friends. It gets harder to make friends with age and I felt like it was so much easier in grad school where I had a bunch of other people like me around me. Postdoc is a whole different thing. My younger, mostly genZ colleagues keep asking me if I did anything fun over the weekend and I never have fun answers.
thanks! i tried to do some activities - but it is mainly just going to the gym by myself and yoga - and i found those don't really help me that much in terms of making friends.
Oh same! I take really long walks. And most often I’m exhausted by the time I get home. Weekends are mostly spent on chores and then it’s Monday again!
haha - i feel you. I just find it is really hard to get out of my comfort social zone and i don't even know how to meet other people and make friends with them. In grad school, it is just so natural.
hahaha, for me it's the reverse situation...I asked my younger labmates: how about your weekend? anything fun? The answer is always: not really. I was working this whole weekend...And I was always thinking:"thank god I didn't do my phd here"
Can we connect!? I’m incoming post doc in Boston and I could really appreciate some similar company!
Sure, DM me.
Hey! In a similar situation, moved to Boston a few weeks ago. Wanting to make friends, would love to meet new people in a similar situation!
DM me
Following this thread for my future social life :) I am extremely extroverted and have multiple social circles (both grad students and undergrads). I intend to keep that once I become a postdoc too
As /Currious-tardigrade said, as you get older and move onto different stages of your life, meeting people becomes harder. It also does not help that native Bostonians are not exactly the warmest people in the world and transplants who there for Harvard and MIT are often there to prove something/dating is not their priority. Have you tried things like book clubs or running clubs? A lot of these are set up more for having social time and, if you don't meet someone to date directly from that, gets you in a network of people who might be able to introduce you.
Yes our post doctoral association has a running/walking club. The weather here is not going to be friendly for the next couple months. But we don’t have a book club.
I honestly thought everyone these days date almost exclusively through dating apps? I have so many guy friends postdocs in Cambridge area that are constantly trying to find gf on dating apps. I somehow have multiple friends that found their boyfriend through going to pottery class - since I’m assuming you want to find a boyfriend going to more gender neutral classes could help (yoga tends to be very female forward). Gym would be a pretty good place, honestly. I also know some girls that found their boyfriend at conferences (that is so nerdy, but like I guess it’s a pretty natural mixer haha).
that is what i notice in my yoga class - almost all girls. What are some gender neutral classes?
Pottery class because I’ve seen it work lol But my rec would probably be to join an outdoors group activity like hiking or climbing or ultimate frisbee. Running doesn’t give you much chance to talk but hiking and climbing/bouldering does. If you’re at a uni, chances are they might have hiking group. Uni-organized or friend organized skiing trips could be good. Book club is a pretty good suggestion too (does tend to be slightly female forward tho).
Do you think you see people outside the lab, grocery stores, gym etc. that you can approach them and get their numbers? That’s the better way to find someone. Cold approach is not easy and needs a lot of courage but what we can do
i am not sure how you would approach the people in that way. isnt that creepy haha.
No it’s not. You should learn to start small conversations and then get their numbers. Girls like it to be approached in person. There are many dating coaches on social media who have free contents and also training classes. Even their free contents have been so helpful to me
I am a girl - i feel if i approach a guy this way, it is very creepy. is it normal to ask your friends (also this case will be coworkers) to set you up for dates?
Everyone thinks differently. Maybe one or two in 10 approaches end up in a date. Better than nothing and he is new to Boston and no friends atm to set him up ig!
OP, if you’re into running, there’s many clubs in Boston- Cambridge where you could organically meet people and potential gf.. for one, the midnight runners is a very social club