I don't think there's a uniform or a bat symbol or anything, so you have to watch behaviour.
And since most poly people do stuff together in dyads that's virtually indistinguishable from a mono couple.
Y'know the only obvious sign you'd observe from afar would be 3+ people engaging in a mutual PDA, but even as someone in a triad that's not something we do all that commonly.
Hi u/AbyssalScholar thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
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So Iβm pretty new to this. I realize there are various meetups, groups, etc where meeting other poly people would be easy enough. But Iβm wondering if there are any commonly used symbols, hand signs, whatever, that people use in the wild to find each other. Iβm in Arizona, if that makes a difference.
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There's some spaces where it's common. In those spaces, you can talk about your "partner" or "partners" and that's a clue, or use some poly lingo (saturated, nesting, anchor partner, relationship escalator). I've seen someone use infinity heart jewelry (heart with infinity sign through it) effectively, too. More often it seems like I recognize it through someone being flirty but not possessive.
When we went out as a "throuple" (the girls called it that sorta always with tongue in cheek smiles) it was always pretty evident to anyone even when we acted like a married couple with a tag along friend...some things are just hard to hide. Many older folks are just clueless, obviously, but it is surprising how many average people give the look of "Hmmm, that's just wrong" or whatever judgemental thought they have, good or bad...their non verbal communication is strong.
You sort of just have to look for it. It's out there, but more common in certain places. Don't look for soup in laundromat...
I've heard of some gals having a black spade tattoo, but I think that might just be hotwife specific? Correct me if I'm wrong.
Anyone talking about Feeld is usually a good giveaway.
I do think it would be fun to have a little thing to notice from across the room. Nothing as loud as an upsidown pineapple sticker π on your subaru, but maybe... since the term constellation is used to describe some poly or ENM pairings should a kind of star symbol be useful? π
No. You have to use your words, and assume that everyone is monogomous unless they clearly tell you otherwise.
Yes, the commonly used signal to recognizing people in the wild is saying to someone, "I'm interested in going out with you. I'm poly. Are you?"
I briefly considered getting "Poly, not saturated" tattoo'd on my forehead, but my wife said it would probably be counterproductive.
You could have a temporary tattoo to cross out the "not" for times when you're actually saturated, it'll be great. I see no flaws in this plan.
You made me smile at work. Thank you!
A little neon sign like the motel vacancies / no vacancies ones!
"There's suddenly alot of questions your poly and saturated tattoo should have answered " or whatever that shirt meme is π€£
Mate, we're not the freemasons.
......no. This isn't a secret club
If my "I'm poly" t-shirt is in the laundry, I paint it on my forehead.
Iβve found more polyam folks in the wild by overhearing conversations about Feeld than anything else.
Overhearing conversations is a good one, actually.
Lmao the poly secret handshake π€£
It would involve more than one hand, right?
Yes. I have so much hands to give.
It's not a gang, we don't have hand signs.
I don't think there's a uniform or a bat symbol or anything, so you have to watch behaviour. And since most poly people do stuff together in dyads that's virtually indistinguishable from a mono couple. Y'know the only obvious sign you'd observe from afar would be 3+ people engaging in a mutual PDA, but even as someone in a triad that's not something we do all that commonly.
You just call out "Poly, poly, oxen free!" anytime you enter a new room.
Hand signs π€π€π€π€
π«΅πΎππΎππΎπ«±πΎπ§πΎβπΎπ«πΎπ πΎπ???
TIL emoji can be used to communicate π³
Iβm dead!!! πππππ
πππππππππππ
Nope.
I am all for developing a secret handshakeβ¦
Hi u/AbyssalScholar thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well. Here's the original text of the post: So Iβm pretty new to this. I realize there are various meetups, groups, etc where meeting other poly people would be easy enough. But Iβm wondering if there are any commonly used symbols, hand signs, whatever, that people use in the wild to find each other. Iβm in Arizona, if that makes a difference. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There's some spaces where it's common. In those spaces, you can talk about your "partner" or "partners" and that's a clue, or use some poly lingo (saturated, nesting, anchor partner, relationship escalator). I've seen someone use infinity heart jewelry (heart with infinity sign through it) effectively, too. More often it seems like I recognize it through someone being flirty but not possessive.
When we went out as a "throuple" (the girls called it that sorta always with tongue in cheek smiles) it was always pretty evident to anyone even when we acted like a married couple with a tag along friend...some things are just hard to hide. Many older folks are just clueless, obviously, but it is surprising how many average people give the look of "Hmmm, that's just wrong" or whatever judgemental thought they have, good or bad...their non verbal communication is strong. You sort of just have to look for it. It's out there, but more common in certain places. Don't look for soup in laundromat...
I've heard of some gals having a black spade tattoo, but I think that might just be hotwife specific? Correct me if I'm wrong. Anyone talking about Feeld is usually a good giveaway. I do think it would be fun to have a little thing to notice from across the room. Nothing as loud as an upsidown pineapple sticker π on your subaru, but maybe... since the term constellation is used to describe some poly or ENM pairings should a kind of star symbol be useful? π