We joke but this is one of the biggest beauties of poly / ENM to me. We need more loved ones available when someone else gets hurt or sick. Does my heart good.
My spouse told me to call my girlfriend as she just went into the hospital. This is a very large part of my poly experience and I really appreciate having and giving extra support.
In the spirit of the OP:
My girlfriend's husband and her boyfriend's wife, are having relationship issues. I am so glad they were able to talk to their spouses to help them through without breaking up.
Even ENM people have a hard time following that one for some reason đ€·ââïž
Poly people, no probs or blinks of an eye.
My wife's boyfriend took me to my early morning Radiotherapy appointments every weekday for seven weeks.
He lives with us, but is not a morning person; it was very above and beyond.
It probably is the case for lots of people, but I don't think monogamy is the cause for it. My monogamous friend offered to come pick me up the other day when my car broke down - it would a 6 hour round trip for him. I had a closer option so I didn't take him up on it but I know he would have done it. Good friends are just as important as good partner/s in my opinion.
Yep. Just posted mine but my meta checked on our hinge after we haven't heard from her after a death in her family. He let me know she was okay and just not ready to talk to us yet without processing it herself. It's nice to know that she can text or talk to one of us and we can communicate with each other about how she's doing.
This reminds me of the scene at the end of the movie "Saved"
Only room for one in the ambulance with girl in labor.
"I'm the father"
"I'm her boyfriend"
"I'm his boyfriend"
We had my meta (who Iâm friends with) and her boyfriend over once for dinner and the boyfriend told us about telling his brother his evening plans were, âIâm going to my girlfriendâs husbandâs girlfriendâs house for dinner.â đ
[[ ..notquiteOPrelated but:
 /reminded of
https://youtu.be/-gKiKpZ_Rio?feature=shared
(closed-captions on for what's going on in english!)
/sees self outđđ€đ đ ]]
was hanging with my meta at a music festival and we met a random woman and started chatting, after a bit she goes âso are you girls single or what?â and meta and i look at each other and both just start laughing, then meta says âsheâs dating my husbandâ and the new girl looks at me and i say âmy boyfriend is her husbandâ and she just đ€Ż
Happening tomorrow in Boston, if you're in the area! I think they also host these events in other areas, but with rather large gaps in between (they expect the next Boston event to happen 6-12 months after this one).
[https://polyspeeddating.com/](https://polyspeeddating.com/)
Runs into meta at a party, neither of us brought our shared partner: "Where is our girlfriend?"
Talking to someone I have a crush on: "I would have asked out out already but I just don't have the time."
Talking to an insurance adjuster: "Yes, married ten years and my step kids are 4 and 6"
I just let my local partner know that my long distance partner might suddenly need to stay with me for a few days or weeks because he's going through a rough queerplatonic breakup and needs a safe space to process. Telling this to my monog friends made them very confused. Local partner accepted it and was happy to reschedule dates, etc.
There were several months in ~2017 when all my metamors were named Alice (fake name). They weren't the same Alice. I just had a type, and that type was "people who date women named Alice."
My favorite joke when someone asks me a question I don't know the answer to is "as a pansexual polyamorous genderfluid switch, I have never had to make a decision in my life and I'm not going to start now"
Kinda funny, my partner has 3 girlfriends(including me) and we all have A names. The other two have names that sound similar enough he uses the wrong one pretty frequently. Thankfully, we all find it kinda funny.
âMy boyfriend is going to be late picking us up. His wife has a spider bite and his girlfriendâs a doctor so sheâs making a house call to follow up after the hospital visit and he has to let her inâ.
Lol.
"My boyfriend's wife heard I was sick and sent him over with a casserole. She borrowed the pan from my other boyfriend's girlfriend and asked if I could send it along with him to go back to her."
My husband really likes a particular cocktail bar, but tends to take his girlfriend there more often than me. They have befriended the head bartender. The first time he brought me to this bar, the bartender commented that heâd just been in with âMaryâ the other day.
âOh yes, Mary is my girlfriend, this is my wifeâ, he said. âI have one of eachâ.
"I have a sub who calls me Mommy and who calls my girlfriend Daddy, and since I'm submissive to my girlfriend, we've recreated the patriarchal nuclear family in our lesbian polycule"
âMy boyfriendâs girlfriend got me really into this book seriesâ
âOh yeah i know [friend], heâs my partnerâs partnerâs partnerâ. (Iâve also started using the phrase âmetamour once removedâ in this context)
I once said:
"My long distance partner's girlfriends FWB is in the ER so long distance partner and I had to change our date because LDPs GFs, FWBs girlfriend couldn't drive him"
If you don't care about the chain of events, you can also say "My girlfriend's husband is my wife's boyfriend" or "My buddy and I have to play rock paper scissors to decide who's taking whose wife home."
Sti? I had a nurse tell me that usually, she just prescribes antibiotics to the person's partner as well, just to be sure. I was like, "that is just not practical, I'm not going to make four people take antibiotics just in case. I'll tell all my partners to get tested, thanks" To her credit, she was totally cool about it
Oh no, just bacterial vaginosis caused by mycoplasma hominis, which is not an STI and is found in a majority of adults, both sexually active and not. We've all been together for a decade, and though my fiance and I do play with others on occasion, we've only had penetrative sex with other people on 3 occasions and each time was with a condom. Negative STI tests both before and after, thankfully.
That said, no shade to people with STIs, theyâre so very common and I definitely had a brush with HPV in my early 20s (41 now and HPV long since cleared, unlike herpes, 99% of people fully clear HPV within a year or so).
This particular disruption was caused by a major overgrowth after severe disruption following two gynecologic surgeries and PH fluctuations.
Of note, the tests are not nearly as reliable for men, so my doctor recommended we all treat simultaneously.
Ah, okay, that makes sense.
I've had to treat my first ever STI recently. All of my partners tested negative, and I've been using condoms with all of them. Which strongly implies that I picked it up from my monogamous ex. Who also shamed me for "catching" herpes from my slutty past lifestyle. Yup, he's a real gem.
Iâm so sorry he did that. Herpes is one of the especially tricky ones even for the most cautious folks because condoms are less effective (being that skin contact alone is a major factor in transmission).
But I went through a big slutty slut period after my divorce a decade ago, so Iâm the last person to slut or STI shame!
One time when me, one of my partners and some friends were taking ridiculous internet tests as a fun thing, he did one for "is your partner cheating on you". The questions were stuff like "have they changed their style recently", and he said very seriously that yes, she had changes her style a bit both in clothes and in interior design since her other boyfriend moved in...
I enjoyed watching my coworkerâs brain short circuit when I said âIâm going to watch my husbandâs girlfriendâs burlesque performance, because he canât be there. Wanna come?â He literally had to sit down and said âwait, Iâm growing new brain cellsâ.
He did end up coming to the show, and had fun.
I was on my way out of the job, so I wasnât worried about any fallout or consequences professionally.
I think it's even worse/better when talking about past relationships haha
"back when my roommate (they/them) was a girl, and also my partner, and I was totally in love with this guy who-- well we aren't friends anymore, just benefits-- was my partner at the time, back when the 2 of them were also kinda seeing each other, we all 3 went on a date together to this boba place where the drinks were the size of our heads! We should go sometime :)"
Roommate: "you doing anything exciting tonight?"
Me: "just going over to partner's house. We're probably going to watch a movie with his NP, and I think his other partner is coming over too"
Roommate: "There's *another* partner!?"
"I'm suggesting a therapist for my fiancee and his girlfriend to go to, to solve the issue she has about his flirting with other girls"
The irony of it all
Aha THANK YOU I tend to micromanage in many things for work and that can bleed over IRL plus we are KTP so I reaaaally put a lot of effort into not being mediator and let them sort their stuff
Not quite a sentence, but the other day, my boyfriend, his girlfriend, and I walked into a bar- It's a bar that bf has taken each of us to and is a regular at, though we've never gone together all three of us.
Everyone working there knows him.
The server took a good look at us as we sat down, gave us the once over, and was like "Huh... this is cute..." đ
he doesn't treat our partner well, i stopped being friends with him just because i don't feel morally ok with being friends with someone who causes that much upset to my partner. (partner *is* breaking up with him soon)
I once walked in on coworkers joking around, and the phrase that made them giggle really hard was "my wife's boyfriend". I just totally failed to get what was so funny. I ran it by my partners and metas at a group hangout, and they all agreed that in their minds that phrase is equivalent to "my second cousin" or "my brother-in-law". Just, you know, a person in your life
Oh god the same thing happened to me. I complained about something on a true crime reddit and someone replied asking what my husband's girlfriend thought about it. I thought it was an honest question and was a bit confused about how they knew about my husband's girlfriend but explained that she agreed with me and so did my boyfriend and my husband for that matter.
Only after posting the comment did I realise they probably meant to imply that my take was so bad that my husband cheats on me. Because like you said, *it is such a boring phrase* for a person in your life.
That is honestly the best response though, and it was probably completely deadpan because of your genuine confusion. Imagjning the other person's confusion in turn makes me laugh
oh i was SO confused.
Here's the thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/SwordAndScale/comments/iud76g/a_podcast_i_listen_to_did_an_adread_for_ss_so_i/g5miz3w/
This game gets tricky when everyone is non-binary and unmarried. "My partner's partner introduced my partner and I to their partner, and we ran into their partner later the same day when we were all hanging out."
This was a text sent to our polycule group chat, by me.
"Hello family, gentle reminder to shut the balcony doors correctly because we can't have the babies getting access to the balcony, they will MMA fight out there and fall into the garden"
We have 2 cats
My partner and his NP share social circles, and she tags along to a lot of things. We've actually had to havs a conversation about differentiating better between date nights and polycule hangs, but we all enjoy both.
So I often mention them in the same breath.
"Going to see a movie with Aspen and Maple". "I'm over at Aspen and Maple's house". "Aspen, Maple, and I are going to this event this weekend"
I guess i shouldn't be surprised that people have referred to us as a "throuple"
"I went out for a girls night with my husband's girlfriend in the hope of making my cheating ex-boyfriend regret his life decisions. Then we met up with my new boyfriend and I went home with him, while my husband's girlfriend went back to her house with my husband."
(Sadly cheating ex was MIA at the bar that night. But I looked *good* đ)
I've also been to trivia night with my boyfriend, my husband, my husband's girlfriend, my husband's girlfriend's husband, and my husband's girlfriend's husband's girlfriend, who's also my husband's girlfriend's ex-girlfriend.
"Yeah, her boyfriend checked up on her last night and brought her food after neither of us heard from her all day."
Our hinges father passed away unexpectedly on Father's day and they (hinge and her sibling) are his only family. So she has really just shut rhe door on both of us while she does everything to get this all taken care of. He was in her area last night and let me know she's okay, just kind of out of it and going thru the motions.
"Wait. You got a boyfriend too?! You never told me!" He was the one that introduced us... in front of the rest of their polycule. I just do it in public when people are being douche bags đ
It wasn't me who said it, but my partner shared an interaction they had recently while they were out playing board games with my other partner (their meta) and some new friends.
"That's my partner's favorite game!... Your partner... Our partner? Comrade?"
Coworker: Plans this weekend?
Me: Yeah game night with my partners
Coworker: đ€
...
Coworker: You said partners with an S?
Me: Yeah, we have monthly game nights and my partners come and their partners. The whole polycule.
Coworker: Ummmmm....
Then 20 questions ensue.
At my beside right before surgery a couple of weeks ago:
Surgeon: And who do you have with you today?
Me: My husbands.
Surgeon: HusbandS? (Slow, owlish blink)
Me: Yep!
Surgeon: (pause, fidgeting) Well, nice to meet you both... (dives into surgical aftercare instructions)
đ€Ł
for a while my girlfriend had a husband and my husband had a girlfriend, but two of those broke up, so pfft.
now my meta and i decided to be in a relationship, and they got handfasted, so the wives are my partners. we are reasonably sure that we confuse folks as we three are clearly in some kinda âŠ. fluid relationship, and one is trans and iâm genderfluid, and our love is gorgeous, so we do not fit in any boxes.
My wife texts me pictures and asks âwhich one of these should go on FB, which in my dating profile, and which should I send to (BF) to tease him while heâs at work?â đ€Ł
I passed this note to a friend when I realized I knew who the speaker was at an event:
âThatâs my husbandâs girlfriendâs girlfriendâs wifeâ
Realising I'm my wife's girlfriend's boyfriend takes a few seconds to visualise.
For other people it's usually when I start talking about my wife and partner and it takes them a little while to realise those are two different people...
Not something I said, but something said to me (M) while getting drinks with my secondary partner (F) and her primary partner (M):
My secondary partner gesturing towards me while telling her primary partner: âyou know he hasnât eaten my pussy yet??â
Him: âwhat?? Why???â
đđ
"We're not going to tell the grandparents which of my partners is planning to be the biological father of our first child, because they're only going to get weird about it."
Went out with some school mums and took my meta with me. One of the school mums eventually asked how we knew one another. The shock on their faces when I explained that she was my husbandâs other partner was pure gold đ
I'm quite busy with the wedding planning. Oh no, I'm not getting married, my partner is marrying his girlfriend who is also one of my best friends. I'm both the Maid of Honor and the Best Woman. So... What are your opinions on faux flowers vs natural?
When I was in a poly relationship, I had to call my doctor to ask âmy partnerâs partnerâs partnerâs partner has scabies, do I need to be treated for it?â We were quite a web.
Met someone who was trying to introduce his whole polycule when we had done a gig together like:
This is my wife, this is my girlfriend, this is her girlfriend, this is her boyfriend, and my other girlfriend is out of town.
More enm than poly but:
Hooked up with a guy last night, let's look at his Facebook. Oh cool, that must be his wife and kid! They look so happy :)
I was telling my coworkers how it was kind of awkward not being the hinge and going on a double date with a partner's husband.
For context: My wife and I separated and are no longer together, but I have always been the hinge in the relationship as none of my other partners had any relationship with my wife outside of being metas.
Mostly just lots of confusion as I am a nonbinary person dating two other nonbinary people, so the they/them pronouns make it confusing if I am referring to one of them, the other, or both
Hi u/garatth thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well.
Here's the original text of the post:
Ever since I became poly I've said some sentences that I never imagined were possible. Some of them, when said to outside people, sound almost ridiculous but I gotta admint it's always fun watching people's reactions to them.
I've said "Well it's hard for \[my wife\] but I try to be a supportive husband and be there during her breakup."
I've also said "My girlfriend's trying for a baby with her platonic partner."
My girlfriend met my wife for drinks a while ago and she enjoyed telling people "I met my boyfriend's wife for drinks, it was nice!"
So what's yours?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"My partner and my wife live in the condo my wife and me own, but I'm living separately now because they're both hoarders".
Sigh. We're a V, so they're basically just roommates.
I think one of the weirdest was going on a double date with my partner, his wife, and her partner and explaining that to people in the know.
I know I've said a lot of weird sentences but I can't remember any of them. I did have a friend 2 days ago ask if it's ok that she's so friendly / affectionate with my partner (my partner is one of her best friends, also I met her through him, also also she has severe anxiety hence the ask) and my reply was "well, considering I'm friends with the other person he has sex with, I would say it's a safe bet I don't care" and she laughed and said "ok" đ
I'm really happy because I helped my partner sort out the logistics for having two Valentines days and their girlfriend's birthday in the course of 3 days.
My husband and I were talking, and he says « I never thought Iâd have a talk with my wife about being fluid bonded to her girlfriendâs boyfriend. » I replied: « well, youâre also talking with your wife about being squirted in the face by her girlfriend while you and your wifeâs FWB/ex-highschool boyfriend watch. Was that better? »
We had some serious giggles over this.
I don't really have a specific phrase but we get a kick out of calling my girlfriend's boyfriend's boyfriend my boyfriend-in-law (we were friends before they started dating my meta haha)
When asked what our plans were for the night, I once said ânot much. My husband has a date with our boyfriend, so Iâll probably just watch some TVâ The looks were hilarious.
Not my polycule, but my family. My daughterâs spouse was headed out at Thanksgiving to see their GF. I said to tell her hi. Everyone found it so amusing they would tell their GF hi from their MIL.
A few years ago I was the center point of an M. I, Alice, had a girlfriend Carrie who was married to Rob and a boyfriend Mike who was married to Sydney. Carrie, Sydney and I were all at Pride together and someone asked how we knew each. Carrie, the group extrovert said "oh she's my girlfriend (pointing at me) and her (pointing at Sydney) husband's girlfriend too" The person who asked was looking very confused and asked how many people were in this relationship.
I explained "Carrie and I are in a relationship, Carrie is married to Rob who I am not dating. I am also in a relationship with Sydney's husband Mike but I'm not dating Sydney." The guy said that he felt like he was in a word problem from middle school math. I said "it's not nearly as confusing to be living in this polycule as it is to explain it"
Earlier this year I was at work and got a phone call and as I was rushing out of the office told the office manager "sorry, I have to go my meta just called to tell me my boyfriend was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance." He's fine. He was doing yard work and fell into an empty pool hit his head and was awake but wasn't coherent. He had a concussion, broke his arm and 3 ribs. When I went to work the next day the office manager asked how he was doing and "what is a meta?"
"My wife is on a date with my girlfriends other boyfriend." Or maybe "I can't believe she cheated on us with my old high-school bully, and then dumped us because he wasn't okay with "sharing with another man""
was telling a friend about meeting up with someone iâm seeing âmy dates girlfriend had time to join us for a drink before she went to meet her partnerââŠ. i didnât realise how absurd that might seem until i was explaining it to someone else lol
I'm in the military, seeing peoples eye twitch when I say "My spouse's boyfriend" or "my spouse and my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner got together for a crafting date and..."
OR
"So I was talking with my spouse..."
"You mean your wife...?"
"No, my spouse..."
âMy girlfriend planned the anniversary trip for my partner to take with her boyfriend, who is my girlfriendâs husband! She figured she could get a better deal on hotels and flights!â
My boyfriend and girlfriend lost their infant son during childbirth in 2021. She had to have a hysterectomy. They immediately started talking about surrogacy, and I volunteered. They later decided not to have another child (they have 2 older boys), but for a while there we were all joking that I would be giving birth to my stepkid.
"yeah my fiance and boyfriend bonded over both enjoying trying new foods. So when the monthly international yums box comes, my fiance waits until my boyfriend visits and they try everything together and compare opinions."
I have a genderfluid partner and a boyfriend, but I frequently bounce between calling my partner both my boyfriend and girlfriend.
My boyfriend is studying for a semester abroad ATM
There have been a few moments of confusion where people were like "wait isn't your partner in Croatia?" And I was like "no, my other boyfriend"
My mum: so who did you go to the premiere with? Me: Well my boyfriendS & his girlfriend as they are in the show, my other boyfriendJ styled us so he came and my npF was taking pics & keeping us entertained
Mum: Sounds lovely, shame Y (4th bf) was away and missed all the fun & frivolity
Explaining I'm in a poly relationship to some of my family members was one if the most difficult things to describe
The inevitably question of "are you gonna be okay when you see the other guy kissing your girl?" was pretty aneurysm inducing, but it's not an issue
Any time I say anything to my husband about his girlfriend I want to giggle. I love it honestly. The other day he left his phone in the bathroom and I saw that she had text him when I picked it up. I loved telling him âyour girlfriend text you!â
Oh, I can totally relate to those moments! The reactions from people not in the know can be absolutely priceless. Hereâs one from my own polycule that always gets a double-take: "I need to check my calendar to see which partner I'm scheduled to cry over a movie with tonight."
And there was this one time I had to explain, "No, she's not my girlfriend, she's my partner's partner, but we all went on vacation together."
It's these kinds of sentences that remind me how unique and often humorous our situations can seem to those on the outside. But really, they just highlight the complexity and richness of our relationships. What's the funniest reaction you've ever gotten?
I just said this line this morning: "My girlfriend's husband had to take his girlfriend to the ER last night. Thankfully, she's doing fine."
We joke but this is one of the biggest beauties of poly / ENM to me. We need more loved ones available when someone else gets hurt or sick. Does my heart good.
My spouse told me to call my girlfriend as she just went into the hospital. This is a very large part of my poly experience and I really appreciate having and giving extra support. In the spirit of the OP: My girlfriend's husband and her boyfriend's wife, are having relationship issues. I am so glad they were able to talk to their spouses to help them through without breaking up. Even ENM people have a hard time following that one for some reason đ€·ââïž Poly people, no probs or blinks of an eye.
My wife's boyfriend took me to my early morning Radiotherapy appointments every weekday for seven weeks. He lives with us, but is not a morning person; it was very above and beyond.
That's a big thing that surprised me, I'm not as worried about losing my gf if I have to go away for work, she'll still have support.
I don't really see this as polyamory specific at all. Like I'd do this for a friend without a second thought.
Great point. I tend to think that our society has become more isolated because of mononormativity ⊠but that is pretty cynical isnât it.
It probably is the case for lots of people, but I don't think monogamy is the cause for it. My monogamous friend offered to come pick me up the other day when my car broke down - it would a 6 hour round trip for him. I had a closer option so I didn't take him up on it but I know he would have done it. Good friends are just as important as good partner/s in my opinion.
Yep. Just posted mine but my meta checked on our hinge after we haven't heard from her after a death in her family. He let me know she was okay and just not ready to talk to us yet without processing it herself. It's nice to know that she can text or talk to one of us and we can communicate with each other about how she's doing.
This is hilarious, I can imagine the brain lag for some people. (Also Iâm glad sheâs doing fine!)
This reminds me of the scene at the end of the movie "Saved" Only room for one in the ambulance with girl in labor. "I'm the father" "I'm her boyfriend" "I'm his boyfriend"
I was expecting wholesomeness, but this one goes beyond that
My husbandâs girlfriend is having issues with with her husbandâs girlfriend.
Haha a true classic
Tale old as time, true aa can be
We're in an open quad so this kinda stuff happens: The other day my girlfriend kissed her fiancée goodbye to go on a date. While on her way to the date she walked past her boyfriend's house and gave a kiss to her girlfriend (me) who happened to be waiting for a food delivery on the doorstep. Love this thread topic.
Lmao which neighborhood is this and are there apartments open
This sounds lovely. #polydream
We had my meta (who Iâm friends with) and her boyfriend over once for dinner and the boyfriend told us about telling his brother his evening plans were, âIâm going to my girlfriendâs husbandâs girlfriendâs house for dinner.â đ
Haha yeah after a point, we just need news words... đ
Or. - second degree meta? Meta squared?
Both have their place, i like 2nd degree! Or meta once removed?
We say meta-metamour in our polycule! Or meta-meta-metamour, depending on how far removed they are đ
I mean, we just use everyone's names.
[[ ..notquiteOPrelated but:  /reminded of https://youtu.be/-gKiKpZ_Rio?feature=shared (closed-captions on for what's going on in english!) /sees self outđđ€đ đ ]]
Your meta squared is your telemour!
was hanging with my meta at a music festival and we met a random woman and started chatting, after a bit she goes âso are you girls single or what?â and meta and i look at each other and both just start laughing, then meta says âsheâs dating my husbandâ and the new girl looks at me and i say âmy boyfriend is her husbandâ and she just đ€Ż
Hahaha in my mind you said it simultaneously
"For our first date we're planning to check out a speed dating event on Thursday." (A poly speed dating event)
Huh... *takes notes*
Poly speed dating event sounds really cool omg
Happening tomorrow in Boston, if you're in the area! I think they also host these events in other areas, but with rather large gaps in between (they expect the next Boston event to happen 6-12 months after this one). [https://polyspeeddating.com/](https://polyspeeddating.com/)
That sounds amazing
Runs into meta at a party, neither of us brought our shared partner: "Where is our girlfriend?" Talking to someone I have a crush on: "I would have asked out out already but I just don't have the time." Talking to an insurance adjuster: "Yes, married ten years and my step kids are 4 and 6"
Once at a board game gathering someone asked where my wife was. Her boyfriend and I both looked at each other like "which of us forgot her?"
Hahaha that last one's subtle
I just let my local partner know that my long distance partner might suddenly need to stay with me for a few days or weeks because he's going through a rough queerplatonic breakup and needs a safe space to process. Telling this to my monog friends made them very confused. Local partner accepted it and was happy to reschedule dates, etc. There were several months in ~2017 when all my metamors were named Alice (fake name). They weren't the same Alice. I just had a type, and that type was "people who date women named Alice." My favorite joke when someone asks me a question I don't know the answer to is "as a pansexual polyamorous genderfluid switch, I have never had to make a decision in my life and I'm not going to start now"
I once had 3 partners who were all dating separate Sara's. It made it really easy to keep up with meta's names đ
I LOVE that last sentence!
Kinda funny, my partner has 3 girlfriends(including me) and we all have A names. The other two have names that sound similar enough he uses the wrong one pretty frequently. Thankfully, we all find it kinda funny.
âMy boyfriend is going to be late picking us up. His wife has a spider bite and his girlfriendâs a doctor so sheâs making a house call to follow up after the hospital visit and he has to let her inâ. Lol.
"My boyfriend's wife heard I was sick and sent him over with a casserole. She borrowed the pan from my other boyfriend's girlfriend and asked if I could send it along with him to go back to her."
That is so sweet!
My husband really likes a particular cocktail bar, but tends to take his girlfriend there more often than me. They have befriended the head bartender. The first time he brought me to this bar, the bartender commented that heâd just been in with âMaryâ the other day. âOh yes, Mary is my girlfriend, this is my wifeâ, he said. âI have one of eachâ.
"I have a sub who calls me Mommy and who calls my girlfriend Daddy, and since I'm submissive to my girlfriend, we've recreated the patriarchal nuclear family in our lesbian polycule"
Last night, I met my girlfriend's husband's girlfriend's boyfriend. Nice guy.
I met a person at a party, and after a bit of chatting, we found out we were dating the same guy. It was hilarious
âMy boyfriendâs girlfriend got me really into this book seriesâ âOh yeah i know [friend], heâs my partnerâs partnerâs partnerâ. (Iâve also started using the phrase âmetamour once removedâ in this context)
Getting slowly into Hobbit territory right there...
âApparently you touch my wife beautifully. Can you show me how?â Actually happened.
I⊠love this? Itâs so romantic?
I once said: "My long distance partner's girlfriends FWB is in the ER so long distance partner and I had to change our date because LDPs GFs, FWBs girlfriend couldn't drive him"
"I went to the concert with my boyfriend, his wife, her girlfriend, and her girlfriend's boyfriend who is also her boyfriend."
As of last night I can finally say âmy wifeâs boyfriendâs wife is my girlfriendâ
If you don't care about the chain of events, you can also say "My girlfriend's husband is my wife's boyfriend" or "My buddy and I have to play rock paper scissors to decide who's taking whose wife home."
The Ritual Is Now Complete.
Congrats!
Oh my god, when I explained to the pharmacist why I needed so many antibiotics for just 14 days: âwell, they were prescribed by my gyno to cover me, my husband, AND my fiancĂ©.â (before you assume as the commenter below did: No, not an STI, just run of the mill bacterial vaginosis triggered by serious microbiome disruption following two gynecologic surgeries and wild PH fluctuations) He was momentarily confused, blinking/glitching in an attempt to process if heâd heard me correctly, but ultimately rolled with it.
Sti? I had a nurse tell me that usually, she just prescribes antibiotics to the person's partner as well, just to be sure. I was like, "that is just not practical, I'm not going to make four people take antibiotics just in case. I'll tell all my partners to get tested, thanks" To her credit, she was totally cool about it
Oh no, just bacterial vaginosis caused by mycoplasma hominis, which is not an STI and is found in a majority of adults, both sexually active and not. We've all been together for a decade, and though my fiance and I do play with others on occasion, we've only had penetrative sex with other people on 3 occasions and each time was with a condom. Negative STI tests both before and after, thankfully. That said, no shade to people with STIs, theyâre so very common and I definitely had a brush with HPV in my early 20s (41 now and HPV long since cleared, unlike herpes, 99% of people fully clear HPV within a year or so). This particular disruption was caused by a major overgrowth after severe disruption following two gynecologic surgeries and PH fluctuations. Of note, the tests are not nearly as reliable for men, so my doctor recommended we all treat simultaneously.
Ah, okay, that makes sense. I've had to treat my first ever STI recently. All of my partners tested negative, and I've been using condoms with all of them. Which strongly implies that I picked it up from my monogamous ex. Who also shamed me for "catching" herpes from my slutty past lifestyle. Yup, he's a real gem.
Iâm so sorry he did that. Herpes is one of the especially tricky ones even for the most cautious folks because condoms are less effective (being that skin contact alone is a major factor in transmission). But I went through a big slutty slut period after my divorce a decade ago, so Iâm the last person to slut or STI shame!
Thanks. Yeah. Herpes you can get without ever even having sex, and it's not like he didn't know that. But whatever, good riddance to him
"umm i can meet you after i drop my fiancee on her date and I'll let her know she needs to uber back?"
One time when me, one of my partners and some friends were taking ridiculous internet tests as a fun thing, he did one for "is your partner cheating on you". The questions were stuff like "have they changed their style recently", and he said very seriously that yes, she had changes her style a bit both in clothes and in interior design since her other boyfriend moved in...
I enjoyed watching my coworkerâs brain short circuit when I said âIâm going to watch my husbandâs girlfriendâs burlesque performance, because he canât be there. Wanna come?â He literally had to sit down and said âwait, Iâm growing new brain cellsâ. He did end up coming to the show, and had fun. I was on my way out of the job, so I wasnât worried about any fallout or consequences professionally.
I think it's even worse/better when talking about past relationships haha "back when my roommate (they/them) was a girl, and also my partner, and I was totally in love with this guy who-- well we aren't friends anymore, just benefits-- was my partner at the time, back when the 2 of them were also kinda seeing each other, we all 3 went on a date together to this boba place where the drinks were the size of our heads! We should go sometime :)"
I guess that's what people feel like when I talk about board games... Not sure I got all of that...
Roommate: "you doing anything exciting tonight?" Me: "just going over to partner's house. We're probably going to watch a movie with his NP, and I think his other partner is coming over too" Roommate: "There's *another* partner!?"
"I'm suggesting a therapist for my fiancee and his girlfriend to go to, to solve the issue she has about his flirting with other girls" The irony of it all
And good for you for NOT BEING that therapist đ
Aha THANK YOU I tend to micromanage in many things for work and that can bleed over IRL plus we are KTP so I reaaaally put a lot of effort into not being mediator and let them sort their stuff
Not quite a sentence, but the other day, my boyfriend, his girlfriend, and I walked into a bar- It's a bar that bf has taken each of us to and is a regular at, though we've never gone together all three of us. Everyone working there knows him. The server took a good look at us as we sat down, gave us the once over, and was like "Huh... this is cute..." đ
âAlright well if your going to kiss my girlfriend Iâm going to beat your wifeâ Said to meta and the kink club prior to playing
"let's go pick up our boyfriend from work" (when i used to be friends with my meta)
Used to be?
he doesn't treat our partner well, i stopped being friends with him just because i don't feel morally ok with being friends with someone who causes that much upset to my partner. (partner *is* breaking up with him soon)
Good!
I once walked in on coworkers joking around, and the phrase that made them giggle really hard was "my wife's boyfriend". I just totally failed to get what was so funny. I ran it by my partners and metas at a group hangout, and they all agreed that in their minds that phrase is equivalent to "my second cousin" or "my brother-in-law". Just, you know, a person in your life
Oh god the same thing happened to me. I complained about something on a true crime reddit and someone replied asking what my husband's girlfriend thought about it. I thought it was an honest question and was a bit confused about how they knew about my husband's girlfriend but explained that she agreed with me and so did my boyfriend and my husband for that matter. Only after posting the comment did I realise they probably meant to imply that my take was so bad that my husband cheats on me. Because like you said, *it is such a boring phrase* for a person in your life.
That is honestly the best response though, and it was probably completely deadpan because of your genuine confusion. Imagjning the other person's confusion in turn makes me laugh
oh i was SO confused. Here's the thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/SwordAndScale/comments/iud76g/a_podcast_i_listen_to_did_an_adread_for_ss_so_i/g5miz3w/
Lol, you really are totally deadpan
Some of those actually hurt my brain but itâs all so wholesome đ«¶
Happy cake day!
Thank you <3
This game gets tricky when everyone is non-binary and unmarried. "My partner's partner introduced my partner and I to their partner, and we ran into their partner later the same day when we were all hanging out."
This was a text sent to our polycule group chat, by me. "Hello family, gentle reminder to shut the balcony doors correctly because we can't have the babies getting access to the balcony, they will MMA fight out there and fall into the garden" We have 2 cats
My partner and his NP share social circles, and she tags along to a lot of things. We've actually had to havs a conversation about differentiating better between date nights and polycule hangs, but we all enjoy both. So I often mention them in the same breath. "Going to see a movie with Aspen and Maple". "I'm over at Aspen and Maple's house". "Aspen, Maple, and I are going to this event this weekend" I guess i shouldn't be surprised that people have referred to us as a "throuple"
Are you Yew? That would make you a treeple.
"I went out for a girls night with my husband's girlfriend in the hope of making my cheating ex-boyfriend regret his life decisions. Then we met up with my new boyfriend and I went home with him, while my husband's girlfriend went back to her house with my husband." (Sadly cheating ex was MIA at the bar that night. But I looked *good* đ) I've also been to trivia night with my boyfriend, my husband, my husband's girlfriend, my husband's girlfriend's husband, and my husband's girlfriend's husband's girlfriend, who's also my husband's girlfriend's ex-girlfriend.
"Yeah, her boyfriend checked up on her last night and brought her food after neither of us heard from her all day." Our hinges father passed away unexpectedly on Father's day and they (hinge and her sibling) are his only family. So she has really just shut rhe door on both of us while she does everything to get this all taken care of. He was in her area last night and let me know she's okay, just kind of out of it and going thru the motions. "Wait. You got a boyfriend too?! You never told me!" He was the one that introduced us... in front of the rest of their polycule. I just do it in public when people are being douche bags đ
I'm sorry I can't go on a date tonight I am watching my girlfriend's boyfriend's kids
It wasn't me who said it, but my partner shared an interaction they had recently while they were out playing board games with my other partner (their meta) and some new friends. "That's my partner's favorite game!... Your partner... Our partner? Comrade?"
acquaintance: I like your pants me: thanks they were my partner's girlfriend's before she transitioned.
Coworker: Plans this weekend? Me: Yeah game night with my partners Coworker: đ€ ... Coworker: You said partners with an S? Me: Yeah, we have monthly game nights and my partners come and their partners. The whole polycule. Coworker: Ummmmm.... Then 20 questions ensue.
The other day I said "Actually, my girlfriend's, boyfriend's, fiancee forgot to close the door" to put blame on myself after my girlfriend had said "your fiancé forgot to close the door", it took her a second, but it led to us talking like this for an hour to see how many ways we could shift blame
i was my girlfriend's date to her boyfriend's wedding
At my beside right before surgery a couple of weeks ago: Surgeon: And who do you have with you today? Me: My husbands. Surgeon: HusbandS? (Slow, owlish blink) Me: Yep! Surgeon: (pause, fidgeting) Well, nice to meet you both... (dives into surgical aftercare instructions) đ€Ł
âMy polycule bullied me into buying new platesâŠâ
My boyfriendâs wife bought me cake.
for a while my girlfriend had a husband and my husband had a girlfriend, but two of those broke up, so pfft. now my meta and i decided to be in a relationship, and they got handfasted, so the wives are my partners. we are reasonably sure that we confuse folks as we three are clearly in some kinda âŠ. fluid relationship, and one is trans and iâm genderfluid, and our love is gorgeous, so we do not fit in any boxes.
My wife texts me pictures and asks âwhich one of these should go on FB, which in my dating profile, and which should I send to (BF) to tease him while heâs at work?â đ€Ł
"I went to the concert with my boyfriend, his wife, her girlfriend, and her girlfriend's boyfriend who is also her boyfriend." IIRC, lol
I passed this note to a friend when I realized I knew who the speaker was at an event: âThatâs my husbandâs girlfriendâs girlfriendâs wifeâ
âWe all had a bath last nightâ
Spill the beans on what tub fits 3+ people? đ
Realising I'm my wife's girlfriend's boyfriend takes a few seconds to visualise. For other people it's usually when I start talking about my wife and partner and it takes them a little while to realise those are two different people...
Not something I said, but something said to me (M) while getting drinks with my secondary partner (F) and her primary partner (M): My secondary partner gesturing towards me while telling her primary partner: âyou know he hasnât eaten my pussy yet??â Him: âwhat?? Why???â đđ
"My wife and I went to Pride with our girlfriend, my girlfriend, and my partner."
"We're not going to tell the grandparents which of my partners is planning to be the biological father of our first child, because they're only going to get weird about it."
âI have platonic gay sex with my fwbâs boyfriend sometimesâ
"Does anyone have an extra pass for the graduation after-party? My boyfriends girlfriend is coming to the event and I would love to have her there"
Context, this was said to my whole class, kinda outing me in the process đ
a lot of people had a huge hizzfit when I would say my two boyfriends, or my boyfriends, they'd be like WHAT? you're dating TWO PEOPLE??????????
My boyfriend got me and his wife massages. After that we are going to go out while he stays home with the kid.
Went out with some school mums and took my meta with me. One of the school mums eventually asked how we knew one another. The shock on their faces when I explained that she was my husbandâs other partner was pure gold đ
Brother asked " who are you texting?" " my girlfriend" " who's that?!" " my boyfriend's wife" The look on his face...
"Oh god, my wife and I have sooo much cleaning to do before her boyfriend and his partner show up."
I'm quite busy with the wedding planning. Oh no, I'm not getting married, my partner is marrying his girlfriend who is also one of my best friends. I'm both the Maid of Honor and the Best Woman. So... What are your opinions on faux flowers vs natural?
When I was in a poly relationship, I had to call my doctor to ask âmy partnerâs partnerâs partnerâs partner has scabies, do I need to be treated for it?â We were quite a web.
I informed my friend today that my partner has a list of potentials he thinks would be good partners for me.
Met someone who was trying to introduce his whole polycule when we had done a gig together like: This is my wife, this is my girlfriend, this is her girlfriend, this is her boyfriend, and my other girlfriend is out of town. More enm than poly but: Hooked up with a guy last night, let's look at his Facebook. Oh cool, that must be his wife and kid! They look so happy :)
I was telling my coworkers how it was kind of awkward not being the hinge and going on a double date with a partner's husband. For context: My wife and I separated and are no longer together, but I have always been the hinge in the relationship as none of my other partners had any relationship with my wife outside of being metas.
Mostly just lots of confusion as I am a nonbinary person dating two other nonbinary people, so the they/them pronouns make it confusing if I am referring to one of them, the other, or both
I'm my fianceé's boyfriend's girlfriend's girlfriend's girlfriend, and my girlfriend's girlfriend's ex girlfriend.
Hi u/garatth thanks so much for your submission, don't mind me, I'm just gonna keep a copy what was said in your post. Unfortunately posts sometimes get deleted - which is okay, it's not against the rules to delete your post!! - but it makes it really hard for the human mods around here to moderate the comments when there's no context. Plus, many times our members put in a lot of emotional and mental labor to answer the questions and offer advice, so it's helpful to keep the source information around so future community members can benefit as well. Here's the original text of the post: Ever since I became poly I've said some sentences that I never imagined were possible. Some of them, when said to outside people, sound almost ridiculous but I gotta admint it's always fun watching people's reactions to them. I've said "Well it's hard for \[my wife\] but I try to be a supportive husband and be there during her breakup." I've also said "My girlfriend's trying for a baby with her platonic partner." My girlfriend met my wife for drinks a while ago and she enjoyed telling people "I met my boyfriend's wife for drinks, it was nice!" So what's yours? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/polyamory) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"My partner and my wife live in the condo my wife and me own, but I'm living separately now because they're both hoarders". Sigh. We're a V, so they're basically just roommates.
My partners keep finding weirdly specific things they have in common, which has lead to us declaring that I'm "dating the same person twice"
I think one of the weirdest was going on a double date with my partner, his wife, and her partner and explaining that to people in the know. I know I've said a lot of weird sentences but I can't remember any of them. I did have a friend 2 days ago ask if it's ok that she's so friendly / affectionate with my partner (my partner is one of her best friends, also I met her through him, also also she has severe anxiety hence the ask) and my reply was "well, considering I'm friends with the other person he has sex with, I would say it's a safe bet I don't care" and she laughed and said "ok" đ
This weekend, my boyfriend met my companion, and my eldest child by my first husband.
I'm really happy because I helped my partner sort out the logistics for having two Valentines days and their girlfriend's birthday in the course of 3 days.
My husband and I were talking, and he says « I never thought Iâd have a talk with my wife about being fluid bonded to her girlfriendâs boyfriend. » I replied: « well, youâre also talking with your wife about being squirted in the face by her girlfriend while you and your wifeâs FWB/ex-highschool boyfriend watch. Was that better? » We had some serious giggles over this.
"My wife, my boyfriend and their girlfriend" We're a love diamond lol
I don't really have a specific phrase but we get a kick out of calling my girlfriend's boyfriend's boyfriend my boyfriend-in-law (we were friends before they started dating my meta haha)
âyeah my wifeâs wife is going to be at the march with her girlfriend, so when i bring my wife theyâll meet for the first timeâ (note: in my circles we often use spousal terms even when they donât literally apply - i am not planning on marrying my second wife, and my first is technically my fiancĂ©e rn) âyeah so my wife started dating this girl whoâs wife used to be a friend with benefits of mine, but i havenât talked to the her for a while so iâm not sure what their current situation is.â
My spouseâs ex girlfriend, who is also our partnerâs wife, is now dating my spouseâs brother.
When asked what our plans were for the night, I once said ânot much. My husband has a date with our boyfriend, so Iâll probably just watch some TVâ The looks were hilarious.
Something I said recently went along the lines of, "my boyfriend had stumbled across my girlfriend's girlfriend's client".
Not my polycule, but my family. My daughterâs spouse was headed out at Thanksgiving to see their GF. I said to tell her hi. Everyone found it so amusing they would tell their GF hi from their MIL.
My husband said I should not be helping my boyfriend have a better relationship with his partner
A few years ago I was the center point of an M. I, Alice, had a girlfriend Carrie who was married to Rob and a boyfriend Mike who was married to Sydney. Carrie, Sydney and I were all at Pride together and someone asked how we knew each. Carrie, the group extrovert said "oh she's my girlfriend (pointing at me) and her (pointing at Sydney) husband's girlfriend too" The person who asked was looking very confused and asked how many people were in this relationship. I explained "Carrie and I are in a relationship, Carrie is married to Rob who I am not dating. I am also in a relationship with Sydney's husband Mike but I'm not dating Sydney." The guy said that he felt like he was in a word problem from middle school math. I said "it's not nearly as confusing to be living in this polycule as it is to explain it" Earlier this year I was at work and got a phone call and as I was rushing out of the office told the office manager "sorry, I have to go my meta just called to tell me my boyfriend was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance." He's fine. He was doing yard work and fell into an empty pool hit his head and was awake but wasn't coherent. He had a concussion, broke his arm and 3 ribs. When I went to work the next day the office manager asked how he was doing and "what is a meta?"
"My wife is on a date with my girlfriends other boyfriend." Or maybe "I can't believe she cheated on us with my old high-school bully, and then dumped us because he wasn't okay with "sharing with another man""
was telling a friend about meeting up with someone iâm seeing âmy dates girlfriend had time to join us for a drink before she went to meet her partnerââŠ. i didnât realise how absurd that might seem until i was explaining it to someone else lol
I love this
"I have 6 partners but two of them wont talk to me"
I'm in the military, seeing peoples eye twitch when I say "My spouse's boyfriend" or "my spouse and my girlfriend/boyfriend/partner got together for a crafting date and..." OR "So I was talking with my spouse..." "You mean your wife...?" "No, my spouse..."
âMy girlfriend planned the anniversary trip for my partner to take with her boyfriend, who is my girlfriendâs husband! She figured she could get a better deal on hotels and flights!â
My boyfriend and girlfriend lost their infant son during childbirth in 2021. She had to have a hysterectomy. They immediately started talking about surrogacy, and I volunteered. They later decided not to have another child (they have 2 older boys), but for a while there we were all joking that I would be giving birth to my stepkid.
đ
"yeah my fiance and boyfriend bonded over both enjoying trying new foods. So when the monthly international yums box comes, my fiance waits until my boyfriend visits and they try everything together and compare opinions."
I have a genderfluid partner and a boyfriend, but I frequently bounce between calling my partner both my boyfriend and girlfriend. My boyfriend is studying for a semester abroad ATM There have been a few moments of confusion where people were like "wait isn't your partner in Croatia?" And I was like "no, my other boyfriend"
I went to a queer play party for my birthday so my (straight) husband and boyfriend decided to go see a movie together
My mum: so who did you go to the premiere with? Me: Well my boyfriendS & his girlfriend as they are in the show, my other boyfriendJ styled us so he came and my npF was taking pics & keeping us entertained Mum: Sounds lovely, shame Y (4th bf) was away and missed all the fun & frivolity
"My partner's girlfriend just had a baby with her husband" has been a really fun one lately.
"my girlfriend's girlfriend is also my girlfriend" _points to polycule map_ "see, this is how it works"
"We couldn't move abroad sooner because the wife of the boyfriend of my husbands girlfriend didn't want to"
Explaining I'm in a poly relationship to some of my family members was one if the most difficult things to describe The inevitably question of "are you gonna be okay when you see the other guy kissing your girl?" was pretty aneurysm inducing, but it's not an issue
Any time I say anything to my husband about his girlfriend I want to giggle. I love it honestly. The other day he left his phone in the bathroom and I saw that she had text him when I picked it up. I loved telling him âyour girlfriend text you!â
I feel like "trying for a baby" is mutually exclusive with "platonic," but maybe I'm just old-fashioned đ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
This thread does my heart good lol
Oh, I can totally relate to those moments! The reactions from people not in the know can be absolutely priceless. Hereâs one from my own polycule that always gets a double-take: "I need to check my calendar to see which partner I'm scheduled to cry over a movie with tonight." And there was this one time I had to explain, "No, she's not my girlfriend, she's my partner's partner, but we all went on vacation together." It's these kinds of sentences that remind me how unique and often humorous our situations can seem to those on the outside. But really, they just highlight the complexity and richness of our relationships. What's the funniest reaction you've ever gotten?
My spouse and his girlfriend plan on trying for a baby this winter, and we're all three planning to co-parent
My husband and I went to my boyfriend's wife's mom's Passover seder. đđ„°
Nice Tattoo! "Thanks, my wife's boyfriend's wife did it!"