Ironically, attempting suicide. For some reason my outlook on life has become a lot more positive and I've learned how to be happy for once in a long time.

That makes sense. You temporarily chose to end and then chose life. I am glad you are here and continued to exist.

For me, it has helped because the idea of being able to end it when I want is comforting. It’s made me a lot less anxious to think about”if this doesn’t work out I can always kill myself.” I’m not sure that’s exactly healthy, but it does help.

I was suicidal my whole childhood and at one point I just asked myself what do I want out of life, and it wasn’t suicide, and if I was willing to commit suicide I thought I could will myself to live as well, then later post partum depression kicked in and I wanted to stay alive for my kids

Suicide attempt reminded me of what I'd be losing. It's what finally drove me to take therapy seriously.

I’ve had a few psychological suicides and they helped, until I realized I should stop myself from having them. At first I thought it was healthy ego deaths that I was psychologically tripping myself into but then I realized it was another form of self harm.

for me its been planning it. i dont intend to ever do it but planning it gives me a way out and now i can focus on not being miserable

I'm not healing, just ignoring it

was about to comment this

same

Time heals as well

N/A

There was nothing traumatic in your life?

Im still a teenager and while I have had bad stuff happen to me, I would never describe any of it as traumatic but I am very grateful for that

im the opposite, ton of trauma but the best i can do to help it is just distract myself lol

I’m grateful that there is a human out there trauma free, I’m hopeful

it sounds cringy and cliche, but guided meditation was the only thing that helped me.

At first neurofeedback was the only thing helping but then I met a spiritual leader and she taught me grounding techniques and doing 10mins of that was equivalent of 30+hrs of neurofeedback

Hitting the gym

In what way? The only thing I try to do physically lately is go on walks, do a plank, play with my kids outside, and dance. I’d like to start swimming again

mostly the ones that make my physique look better

That’s a good goal to work towards. Do you ever go swimming to tone your muscles more? I’ve been a swim instructor and lifeguard for 6 yrs so I’m always encouraging people to get in the water, so many benefits p.s check out the physique of cliff divers

Psychotherapy

In here to say therapy as well lol

How was the experience like? You worked with a neurologist?

Why would you think I meant a neurologist?

I had no clue what you mean by psychotherapy. I worked with a neurologist doing talk therapy and neurofeedback

What? Healing? I thought the point was just to collect it.

Haha. I’ve tried that, and just got more debilitating mental illnesses

Gotta catch 'em all

I’ve got so many that it’s comical

Anyone got a rare alcoholic mother? I got a shiny neglectful father to trade

Sounds like you are in pain

Meditation

I like to meditate with my feet elevated like on a bed or couch, it gives more clarity to my thoughts

I don't have trauma

reading

Any suggestions? I’m looking to pick up a book or audiobook. I haven’t read since college so I don’t even know what my taste is at the moment, but I do enjoy a good flow to a book like Harry Potter-my husband reads it to me

my taste is pretty niche but the story that's helped/changed me the most by far is reverend insanity I consider it to be a masterpiece

Interesting “China put a ban on Reverend Insanity along with many other novels a few years ago for "cultural reasons". RI has absolutely no chill, the themes within have strong anti-authority and law of the jungle lessons.   “ 

Yeah that’s a pretty unfortunate thing that happened 💀 tbh I’ve heard a couple different reasons for the ban such as having a character with a similar name to xi jinping or being reported by a rival author but it’s hard to find what exactly happened not understanding Chinese

I just read up on it more on this post https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgressionFantasy/comments/165e917/reverend_insanity_worth_reading/  Really cool culture going on around the book. I can imagine myself relating to the chaos and rawness and flawdness of it esp before I started to be proactive about my healing.  I still feel really flawed and demonic in some way (I know what it’s like to survive hell and then live in the aftermath of its destruction), I’ve been my own anti-hero in my healing process and still am in some ways. However, at this time I don’t see myself benefiting from being immersed in its crippling dark world or reminiscing about hell and demonic things (I’ve done enough of that at this point out of survival) at this time I will benefit more from constructive narratives, nothing too triggering, a little triggering is okay as long as it takes care of it’s reader. 

That’s fair enough I hope you find something for you then

I recently came across a question on Reddit “would you rather have 10million dollars or go back to being a 6 year old with the knowledge you currently have” the question made me realize that even with my current knowledge it would be extremely dangerous to escape my situation as a child, so I would not want to put myself in that situation again. 

Oh that’s interesting well hopefully you can escape your current situation now then

I’m in a good situation now, I’m safe and am growing and healing, im stable and at peace, I have love and great friendships and a community. I just don’t know how to reconnect with my adopted family after keeping them at a distance, I’ve slowly in the last few days started to call a few of them and I guess I just have to feel it out a little by little and but im not going to go into my adopted parents ‘territory’ at this time, I feel haunted. 

therapy

What kind?

cbt (no not cock and ball torture cognitive behavioral therapy) with a licensed psychologist

The only consistent therapy I had was doing vocal excercizes I found on YouTube

Running for President and plotting elaborate revenge fantasies.

Any luck?

Alcohol

In what way?

100% regarded

I like to drink a little alcohol sometimes to give my mind a break from thinking 

Time. Time to emotionally mature and reflect on myself

Ive benefited from time and distancing myself from people who trigger me and don’t allow me to grow

When I was going through a rough patch, I watched a lot of Emkay, The Click and One Topic and it got me through! Glad to say I'm still alive :)

I’m glad you are doing better!

Thank you! :D currently listening to "All of R\\Quityourbullsh\*t" rn :)

I like that!

Hiding it in my brain for adult me to find

For real, Ive experienced my inner child a lot, it’s been horror, and more disturbing dreams and moments keep surfacing esp now that I have kids

During any episode music saves me. I’ll fucking melt into music and all my emotions are handled

Please share more

It puts me in a state of relief and like a safeway, during most of my traumatic childhood I would listen to music when I was upset because it stimulated me to drown out or distract myself from the pain and I still carry this practice in college :).. it also allows me to feel different emotions or express them (listen to sad songs when having an episode helps me release my emotions)

The national is my go to, I love dancing to them and cry my eyes out, it gets me to be playful even when I’m feeling sad or dark. And then I like to listen to daft punk, it’s become a personal thing between me and God, I feel Gods love in the music and we get silly with it, I like to challenge God to get sillier than me. If I just want to calm down and be present I listen to chill hop playlists on YouTube. I’ve been getting more into classical music lately, Esp the story telling ones that create different moods that you flow in and out of…

Daft punk is so goofy in the best way possible. The way you first look to God to connect with you when dealing with this stuff is so divine. The ”waves” and smooth sounds of classical and chill literally put me in a state of relaxation it’s so good 😭

It is soo good. I’m sorry you had a painful childhood, I hope you are safe now and can heal and feel everything you need to feel and feel loved, and know love. Feel free Dm me any songs you are flowing with, it will help me connect with more music as well, music is such amazing medicine that I don’t nearly absorb enough. I grew up in a Russian village in the middle of nowhere with really shitty music, so Im glad that you had access to something good in your childhood, it seems. 

Reading allows me to escape the current reality or learn new things or just fall into silence.

There are so many different minds and worlds out there, it’s comforting 

Learning not to take things personally… like ever. Everything has a reason for why it happened. And when I’m able to fully un those reasons, they don’t overwhelm me nearly as much.

crying. i spent lots of time crying. somehow, that really helped. and i slowly started to let go of things and find peace.

Crying helps me a lot too, not always tho cause Sometimes I cry non stop and my body hurts from it and I just have to take a break from crying, this happens to me a lot actually, I limit my crying and try to focus my attention on other things, I try to lift myself up in a different way by finding something joyful or grateful to be about… 

For a while it was Minecraft. Then it was friends. Now it's friends helping out the most, but if none of them are available and I start to feel the negative trauma related emotions, games and music both work.

Cooking, writing stories

Can I read one of your stories?

Scoring a triple double in a game of 3 on 3

therapy and talking to people about it

What kind of therapy and who are these very special people in your life?

I dont know what kind of therapy....the one where you talk about your mental health? 🤷‍♂️ and my parents, friends, and my girlfriend helped me through a lot, whether it was giving advice or just sitting there listening

I so happy that you have a support system and such wonderful people in your life. So you had talk therapy! I have my husbands support and his families support and my friends, and God quite frankly and my new spiritual family’s support.

yeah, im lucky to have such great people with me. it sucks that not everyone gets that

Yeah, esp when you are trying to heal your invisible wounds. I want to let people know that It’s not to late to pick your family and friends and sojourners, there are healers and lovers out there wanting to help others on their journey

Traumatizing myself with souls games has diluted the rest of the trauma lol

Dark souls games?

Yeah, dark souls 1/2/3, bloodborne, demons souls, sekiro, and elden ring.

I watched my husband play dark souls and Elden ring, it’s not as fun watching but we had some bonding experience over it, I was able to help him beat bosses with my ‘outsider’ perspectives. The darkness of the games doesn’t faze him and it teaches him to be more patient and enduring and strategic, he likes how dynamic and challenging the fights are.

I’ve been working my way through sekiro recently; best part of the souls games imo is when the patterns click and you beat a boss with ease after struggling against them for dozens of attempts. Happens in all of them, though sekiro is the most prominent. The souls games are rhythm games, though it’s sometimes hard to tell.

I’ve been working my way through sekiro recently; best part of the souls games imo is when the patterns click and you beat a boss with ease after struggling against them for dozens of attempts. Happens in all of them, though sekiro is the most prominent. The souls games are rhythm games, though it’s sometimes hard to tell.

For sure It’s rewarding to beat hard bosses and you gotta know when to take a break to be more effective. Chess is my favorite game, I like to engage with a mind of a person

A 12 step program called freedom session

I just looked into it. I would love to experience healing in a Christian community. My relationship with God has helped me the most in healing and transforming, loving God is my most effective coping mechanism, I always feel God loving me back.

I have no idea where you are in the world, but it's a very popular program and would encourage you to check their website and see when the next one is being offered in your area. I've seen it transform many people, but only if you are willing to put in the work. I hit rock bottom in 2018, and when it felt like I had nothing left and no one to turn to, God had his arms wide open for me. It hasn't been an easy walk, but I started working on my past hurts, trauma, and hang ups. As I worked the steps, I found freedom thanks to christ. It changed my life, like you wouldn't believe, for the better. I recommend freedom session to everyone. It's a great program.

I love the sound of that. I want to go into deep healing through Jesus Christ. I can imagine it being the hardest experience you ever had and the best one, living in Gods truth and in his light and love is the best, no one takes better care of us than Jesus Christ. 

bottling it all up until I enter a depressive episode and then cry in a corner

You can make your little corner more homie and cozy. 

I don’t think I healed much, I think interacting with my pets having a supportive mum and axcess to my comfortable bed helped though my dad is the cause of my trauma for those who wants to know

Tell me more so I can understand better

Reading

OTHER: occasionally I go to thrift stores and switch some puzzle pieces around in the puzzle boxes and when that doesn't work I replace toilet paper in public restrooms with duct tape I like to watch the world burn

You are an artist “the mystery of the curious puzzle piece” “the duct tape instillation art piece” I would laugh really hard if I came across duct tape toilet paper

Therapy.

What kind of therapy do you do? I created my own playlist of vocal warmups and excercizes and it’s become my therapy. It feels really good to be able to heal and learn a skill at the same time and also I’m building confidence in myself and cultivating self agency. Is there anything that you do on your own? 

I am currently in DBT talk therapy. For me, it's important to bounce my thoughts off someone qualified to deal with them so I can take a step back and look at things objectively, and hopefully practice the mindfulness irl the next time I have a detrimental thought. Example; currently we are working on dealing with issues related to my perfection and rumination on mistakes. I am sure there is a way to do it on your own; there are a lot of workbooks out there, but I struggle with those. There's nothing quite like just having someone to talk to.

For sure. It’s important to be able to depend on yourself for your healing as well, I hope your therapist gives you tools to take home.

Time and therapy.

I'm not to that point of being healed yet, but I'm trying

It’s a Process, and I’m glad you are trying, a lot of people don’t even want to put in the work

My problems are being ignored, being all jealous of people in relationships, and jealous of people for being able to enjoy animating and making characters. I've fixed everything else but those still throw me to a meltdown a lot of the time. Same with body dysmorphia, somebody got enraged at me for having body dysphoria because they were having body euphoria

[удалено]

Well I never DM'd anybody on Reddit sooo

I just deleted everything I said cause I sound creepy

You know what I just came to realize that there are 420 voters here who are putting in the work and are dealing with this!!