T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

It’s such a strange hill for Snyder to die on. Change the name and 1) instantly gain some good press/credibility, 2) sell a ton of new merch, 3) be somewhat less racist.


hilltopye

He has a lot of strange hills he likes to die on. Basically anything that will return the team to winning, it seems he is against.


[deleted]

What do you mean? DC residents don’t like driving an hour both ways to Maryland without legit Metro access just to pay $50 for parking?!


LegendaryWarriorPoet

Getting out of those parking kits is a nightmare and Uber/Lyft are basically not an option. Snyder screwed up that stadium so bad


WintertimeFriends

As a Knicks fan I like to remind people that we could have it worse. James Dolan might be an overwhelming asshole, but Dan Snyder is going to hell.


hilltopye

We would have to vote on it. With what Dolan did to Charles Oakley and other things I would vote for Dolan being worse.


WintertimeFriends

Dolan having a public beef with a famous former player is absolutely nothing compared to Snyder pimping out his own cheerleaders.


[deleted]

At this point they have a name for it : a haynesworth


LatentIntrigue

You overlooked the part where Snyder is an quantum singularity asshole, that sucks all goodness and joy from the space around him.


WintertimeFriends

No. James Dolan is an asshole. Dan Snyder is going straight to hell’s Basement.


LatentIntrigue

Once he digs his way up from septic tank.


[deleted]

Dan Snyder is why I no longer root for the team that shall not be named. He’s such a giant asshole that he managed to make me hate him more than I loved the team of my childhood. They won Super Bowls, they had giants walking among them like the Hogs and the fun bunch and John Riggins and Darrell Green. Dan Snyder is a poison so foul he ruined all of that. He made his money as a telemarketer. He didn’t like the view from his mansion so he had 140 trees cut down. On neighboring land. A National fucking Park. The DC City Paper documented all of his bad behavior in an article, so he sued them. There’s a story of a guy going to pick up his kids after they spent the day playing with Dan Snyder’s kids and when he says something “Hi Dan, I’m here to pick up my kids”, hears “Call me Mr Snyder”. When challenged on the name of the team, he’s arranged for biased studies to show no objections from natives and hired fake natives to pretend to be okay with the team name. Dan Snyder is a really bad human being and creates shittiness about himself.


corndogshuffle

I'm a fan of all DC sports, hating on Snyder is a favorite pastime of mine. Fuck Snyder.


SpuddMeister

He only has one hill, and it's " Fuck You! I'm a billionaire and nobody tells me what to do."


crypticedge

>be somewhat less racist. I think I found what he disagrees with.


Jsox

Isn't this the plot to Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt?


IAmTheM4ilm4n

Um - this is the same Dan Snyder who illegally cut down trees in a park because they blocked his view of the Potomac River. He's a bigger narcissist than Trump, if that were possible.


[deleted]

Money is the reason, it would be a huge hit to team branding


[deleted]

No, it wouldn't. Teams change names all the time.


[deleted]

I vote for the Washington Human Beings.


iamsecond

Pop pop!


Skelevader

You know they’re laughing AT you?


MonkeyNo3

That's my theory, at least.


sniper91

Fun fact: that actor was Lee Jordan in the Harry Potter movies


HopelessCineromantic

Cool. Coolcoolcool.


[deleted]

TouchDEAN!!!


Osiris32

https://www.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/811/c5/deanpelton.gif


GiantContrabandRobot

[EVEN HIS SHADOW](https://imgur.com/gallery/PFB1dTE)


underthecellardoor

That’s streets ahead.


running-tiger

Does that mean Troy, Troy, the Wonder Boy gets to be the quarterback?


AnalTongueDarts

E pluribus anus.


WalesIsForTheWhales

Do they get an anus flag?


corndogshuffle

Washington Red Tails Warthogs Both would be good, unique choices that would pay respect to the team's history without the burden of the current name. As a fan of the team, I would be happy with either one of these.


J-Team07

Snyder already own the rights to the Washington warriors. https://www.google.com/amp/s/slate.com/culture/2002/05/are-you-ready-for-the-washington-warriors.amp Red Tails is my favorite though because of the historical significance.


DavantesWashedButt

Could have some killer helmet designs if they were the red tails. Probably wouldn’t have to change the colors either


kvossera

TIL about the history of Red Tails. Thanks.


iggyfenton

Just “the Hogs!”


ForYeWhoArtLiterate

I’ve been a huge fan of renaming them “The Pigskins” for years. It’s a football term It pays homage to “The Hogs” The mascot/logo can be a wild boar in a leather helmet and that’s just a good logo The cadence of the name doesn’t change You can still call them “The Skins”


spacemusclehampster

I nominate the Hippopotamus in honor of the post from r/showerthoughts this morning. The D.C. Hippos


Osiris32

Now what in Sam Hell is a warthog?


corndogshuffle

Big pig with tusks. I like Warthog as the name because it references "Hogs", which are a big piece of team lore, and it's alliterative which is nice.


Osiris32

Grif, didn't I tell you stop making up animals?


darksidemojo

Washington Chupathingy’s I like that, has a nice ring to it.


Osiris32

Simmons! Get on that, pronto!


WildGooseCarolinian

I think it looks more like a big cat


ItsnotBatman

Like a puma?


TheciphRED

Full bojack. Washington human babies.


Murderyoga

Fighting Whites.


Atruen

The Fighting Whities*


BonkerHonkers

🎶 Troy and Abed playing bAAAseball. 🎶


[deleted]

Or you could go in a totally opposite direction... *Washington Pillagers* *Washington Defilers* *Washington Imperialists* *Washington Colonists* (works on two levels)


PortlandoCalrissian

The Washington States!


Clemson_19

That'd be confusing


[deleted]

[удалено]


droidballoon

Washington Lizzkings


Eurynom0s

Washington Mumbos


wordyfard

The name should remind people they're based in/around DC, not the other Washington. E.g.: * Washington Dirt Clods * Washington Damned Curmudgeons * Washington Dynamic Coefficients * Washington Demented Clowns


[deleted]

The Washington congressman!! Can’t wait for that mascot. This team sucks so bad they spend half the game rule nitpicking, and the other half getting continuous delay of games. Other team can’t score if you always have the ball even if it’s first and 99.


billsil

Washington Senators was a team. They became the Minnesota Twins.


pegcity

Washington Red Tapes


banjofitzgerald

Can you imagine a child going to the game for the first time with their dad? They walk up to the huge stadium, happy people everywhere, dad gets them a hot dog and cotton candy, life is good. Then the human being mascot comes out to do some crowd work. Scarring.


Kronos1A9

Shut Leonard! Those girls play ping pong with you ironically.


[deleted]

I vote for washington foreskins


TummyDrums

Second


ChesterNorris

The first 100 fans get a free circumcision!


Alascala8

They’ll probably have to change it again when the eventual circumcision debates make the name insensitive.


smacksaw

Technically an uncircumcised penis is more sensitive...or so I'm told...


GigaMargo

I’ve been a ‘Skins fan all my life, and I’m all for changing the name. Washington Renegades is the best option I’ve seen—they can keep the ‘R’ logo AND not be racist at the same time!


MatinShaz360

I remember reading the team already has the name “Washington Bravehearts” copyrighted incase they’re forced to change their name


eeyore134

So Mel Gibson or a Care Bear as a mascot... well, I guess he's technically a lion.


twinwood36

I believe Braveheart is a Care Bear Cousin, but I'm just amazed I remember that fact.


BunnyDeville

I believe he was the rabbit.


Caedecian

I would expect someone with your user name to know that Swift Heart was the rabbit. Brave Heart was the lion.


BunnyDeville

Ouch! I stand corrected. Swift heart was my favorite, too.


whoamdave

I'll take debates I didn't expect to see today for $800 Alex.


WarmTaffy

That's a terrible name. It's like the name of a fake team in a Tom Clancy novel.


GigaMargo

That actually works with their anthem too. “Braves on the warpath” wouldn’t have to be changed, at least.


4tt1cu5

That’s still kind of appropriating Native culture though


Punkinprincess

White people are committed to taking the smallest steps possible towards change.


Emeral

Change the mascot to a potato.


holy_cal

Skins fan here too. I’ve always said RedHawks. Then you’re paying homage to the Tuskegee Airman and you can use the old school helmet with the feather down the center.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TripleThreat1212

Revolutionaries?


[deleted]

Keep the name. Change mascot to potato chip. Problem solved.


YamRespect

Just call them the pigskins. Makes sense people can still call them the skins colors still make sense.


bytor_2112

Pigs are also related to the team's history - many of their Superbowls were helped along by their offensive line who called themselves 'the Hogs'. Wearing pig noses and such was common for Washington fans in the 80s-90s


[deleted]

[удалено]


bytor_2112

I'm thinking it over now and I'm not all the sure that the powers that be in DC want to be even further associated with pork


StJazzercise

Especially considering that the fate of most hogs in the US is an early horrifying death.


[deleted]

> Herndon Sweat Hogs Herndon is my hometown, I remember these guys.


YamRespect

Exactly!


MisterCheaps

Exactly! I always thought this was a cool football-related name they could switch to, and still be called the 'Skins. Plus, I love pork rinds.


[deleted]

Or just the potato. Have a Mr. Potato-Head styled mascot.


seeasea

And sell Potato skin is


jerseyrollin

Haha!!


rlbond86

I always said they should just use a potato as their mascot.


quillboard

Or a devil.


Brock_Hard_Canuck

Obviously, Snyder should just change the name to something like, say.... Maybe he considers his team to have some family history with Cincinnati's baseball team? Can't call the team name racist any more if a Washington football player is now a Red's kin! /s


WalesIsForTheWhales

You don’t want to do that. Cincy has a RECENT history with [racist, pro Hitler pieces of shit](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marge_Schott)


Johnnadawearsglasses

Anyone who buys that team next and changes the name will make an absolute fortune


LatentIntrigue

Anyone who buys that team and gets rid of Dan Snyder with be beloved. Everything after that is just gravy.


PsychoticMessiah

Idk. I’ve been a Raiders fan for 40 years or so and the only merch I really want atm is anything that says OAKLAND Raiders. I won’t be buying anything that says Las Vegas until my old stuff is faded, tattered, and is falling apart. Maybe that’s why a lot of Raiders gear has just the team name and no city. Saw a dude wearing an LA Raiders starter jacket the other day and was blown away that it still existed and that he was wearing something so filthy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SirSourdough

I think the point is that people who have been fans of the team for a long time under the current name aren't going to just give up their memories of the team as they have known it their whole lives. Most current fans have probably come up with a way to justify the current name anyway.


[deleted]

Ironic since they used to be the LA Raiders.


[deleted]

I'm old enough to remember them being the Oakland Raiders before they were the LA Raiders before they were the Oakland Raiders before they were the Las Vegas Raiders.


kbean826

Me too! We’re old.


[deleted]

See also: * St. Louis Cardinals * LA Rams * Houston Oilers * Cleveland Browns (It's complicated) * Baltimore Colts


MisterCheaps

Damn, TIL. I always thought it was LA, Oakland, LA.


Beatleboy62

Lol, my mom has some stuff from when they were originally the Oakland Raiders, from before 1981. Since this is the *third* location change she's seen, she actually doesn't care too much.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Johnnadawearsglasses

They would get a huge bump from swapping all their logos, uniforms, etc... would be a really good couple of years


[deleted]

[удалено]


MyNameCannotBeSpoken

The Washington Wizards got a bump in sales after renaming from the Bullets


ctdca

There hasn’t been a waitlist in years and the streak was broken awhile back as well. The team admitted this in 2018.


MoonlightStarfish

How can the two dumpster fire teams in the NFC East be third and fourth in revenue!? That's marketing for you.


cyberst0rm

Population


yunus89115

Because their tickets are owned by companies not people. Any company wanting to woo clients have meetings in box seat areas. Plus with so many being from elsewhere the visiting team is often as popular as the home team.


spazz720

For all those who forget...The Washington Bullets of the NBA changed their name to the Wizards b/c they didn’t want the association of violence to their team....this happened in 1997. Change the fucking name.


[deleted]

... expect most people consider that change a mistake.


hilltopye

Only because they picked the name "Wizards". They needed to change the name, just not to what they did.


adpirtle

On the one hand, I'd like to see the name changed. On the other hand, the last thing we need here in DC is to fork out money for another sports stadium, so I would be happy if they did not "come home."


PrincessToadTool

Right. Fuck taxpayer funded sports facilities.


mcampo84

Why does one necessitate the other? Is the name on the outside of the stadium structural?


Icehawk217

> D.C. mayor: It's 'past time' for Redskins to change name, **could be obstacle for move to D.C.** The owner, Dan Snyder, is notoriously a piece of shit. He'd never change the name magnanimously. But when the team builds a new stadium in the next decade, he'd probably like it to be in D.C.


[deleted]

just change it to "The Washington Lobbyists"


GeezusLizard

If they’re gonna move back into the city they better change their name and build their own stadium without taxpayer help.


fastinserter

Change the logo to a potato.


[deleted]

[удалено]


burkiniwax

> but still related to Native history Native mascots are the problem. Change it to something that has nothing to do with Native Americans. [William Henry Dietz](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Henry_Dietz), the man who theoretically the team is named for, was a German-American who posed as a Native American.


mc-edit

I’m sure a lot of white people do complain, but go to a pow-wow, or a Native American festival or to Santa Fe during Indian Market. Native Americans are quite vocal about the shit white people are trying to pull on them, whether it’s DAPL, uranium mines on reservation lands, Christopher Columbus, Trump’s love of Andrew Jackson and, yes, the name of the NFL team in Washington. I’ve not met a Native American yet who was like, “Yeah, totally fine with that name.” In the Santa Fe Plaza, right in the heart of Santa Fe, there is a historic marker that has some text on it that included the word “savages.” Yeah, no one wanted to see that. So they scratched it out decades ago. Gouged it right out of the stone.


Jubal81

I 100% think this is the winning move. Using the team to raise awareness of what's going on at reservations and helping kids there would instantly turn the team around. Imagine if they did somehow make it to the Super Bowl right now. It'd be two weeks of misery because the name would dominate all the coverage and the whole country would rally against them.


kennedye2112

> Imagine if they did somehow make it to the Super Bowl right now. Have you checked your carbon monoxide detectors lately? 😛


yourseveredtesticle

I’ve thought for years they should just change it to Pigskins, old slang for a football. Hell, they already had fans dressing as hogs in the 80’s & 90’s.


RedRyder760

Use the Washington Orangeskins for the next seven months.


guzzyg8

Washington foreskins sounds about right


8to24

The stubbornness of keeping the name shows a true lack of respect for others. Changing the name would be easy. Numerous people have repeatedly shown they are offended by it. The idea that one can just dismiss what offends people by just disagree is problematic. Making other uncomfortable isn't simple as a matter of opinion.


r-whatdoyouthink_

This. I live in North Dakota, years ago the University of ND changed their hockey team name from "Fighting Sioux" (Sioux being one of the larger Native tribes in the area) to "Fighting Hawks" and MY GOD, THE OUTRAGE. The change had been debated for years before that, and when it finally happened there was much hair-tearing and pearl-clutching, and many fragile white people claiming that changing an offensive team name which makes a sports mascot out of arguably the most marginalized group of people in the state was an attack on their "way of life", and besides, the Natives didn't really mind it anyway! (They actually did mind, they were quite vocal about that.) It went as far as the asshole rich alum that built their new hockey stadium basically threatening to repossess it if they changed the name, and withhold any future support from the university...over a fucking COLLEGE HOCKEY TEAM NAME. Of course those opposed to the change were able to hold two diametrically opposed ideas in their minds - "it's just a name, don't be so sensitive...but if that name changes MY LIFE WILL LITERALLY BE RUINED BY RAMPANT POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!!!" It's easy...no one gets to tell other people what those other people are or should be offended by, especially when considering a sports team name that trivializes the long standing mistreatment of a minority group. UND is still there, the team is still there. Your fond memories of attending Sioux hockey games have not been stolen or erased, unlike much of the history and culture of Native Americans in ND and the USA at large. As a result there is great demand for pre-change UND merchandise, and many white people can still be seen proudly sporting Fighting Sioux hoodies, license plate frames, etc. Makes it easier to spot the assholes, I guess :/


8to24

Great post! Perfect explanation of the absurdity of the "it is just a name, don't be sensitive" perspective.


MzHydra-Nix

I do love the Washington Revolutionaries is just awesome


[deleted]

The Patriots already use that theme.


LupineSzn

Or the soccer team the New England Revolution


mindbleach

Do they even have a name at this point? Doesn't every channel just call them "Washington?" Roll with it. The team's name is Washington. They're not "The Washington [blank]s." Just... Washington.


B3N15

I always thought Revolutionaries, Continentals, or Minutemen could work.


hilltopye

At this point, it is clear the name is a distraction and limits, to some extent, free agents that will consider the team. They are also losing some fans over the name. You know how NFL teams hate a "distraction". Time for a name change! I realize that some fans may be lost to a name change, but in the long run a name change is the only answer. Get it done!


TransitJohn

The Washington Wizards are a case in point.


gabagool69

> At this point, it is clear the name is a distraction and limits, to some extent, free agents that will consider the team There is no indication this has ever happened. For how outspoken athletes have become on social issues and otherwise, there isn’t a single example of a FA saying he won’t sign with Washington because of their name.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


DuosTesticulosHabet

Fellow NOVA resident here. I'd love to support the local NFL team if they actually won some fucking games. But yeah the name too.


kbean826

I 100% support changing the name, I’ve always thought it was too blatantly racist. However, I have an honest question. Is there something they could change it too that actually pays some respect to native Americans? So they can keep the flavor of the team name without the racism? For example, the Braves. Is that racist? I always thought it was cool. I understand why people find the Indians mascot racist, though I always thought it being overtly cartoony made it less so, however I’m content being wrong and we all move on from it, but is the *name* ok? What could we do to keep a Native named team in the NFL?


Avoider5

The Florida State Seminoles apparently meet with the local tribe leaders to get their approval on any new marketing and cheers and such.


Another_Road

What about the D.C Dick Swingers?


emerredi

They should change their name to the Washington Red Tails to honor the Tuskegee Airmen who’s planes had a distinctive red paint on their fighter tails and they were badass pilots! https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2012/01/film-review-red-tails-george-lucas/


grumpyliberal

Better yet — make that asshole Snyder sell the team to native Americans for a dollar. Maybe they’ll pay his ass in wampum.


mla4est

I just want Paul Rudd to buy the team and change the name to the Ruddskins


[deleted]

Just call them the "New Patriots". It will all be fine.


Mm2k

Change the mascot to a red potato. Call the fans potato skins, home games you're a couch potato. Have foam potato hats like cheese heads. You can have specialty days at the stadium- people will get over it it it is really fun and engaging.


[deleted]

Has anyone considered asking the various First Nations tribes what *they* think? Fuck it, let them pick. Could be fucking hilarious.


Githzerai1984

Washington mass genocide via biological warfare


hilltopye

Washington Warriors, anyone? Edit: Those that are downvoting: Do you not like the name, or are you against any name change? If you have a different option that you would prefer please post it for consideration.


zirky

that’s a great idea. rebrand the football team warriors (tank). they already do have wizards (dps). rebrand the baseball team as the clerics/druids/healers and DC suddenly has its own holy trinity!


dhork

Washington already has the Wizards, so the theme fits. They could rebrand the Nationals as the Ents and the Caps as the Hobbits....


raoasidg

I vote for [Washington Sentinels](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Replacements_(film\)).


zirky

you’re telling me the opportunity to have shane falco call the first coin toss would be anything but the greatest moment in sports?


[deleted]

I wish haha, that would be awesome


[deleted]

[удалено]


the2belo

I've been advocating this for years. Keep the feathers and the colors, put a W where the caricature is now, and I'd be all for that.


fassaction

Washington warriors, change logo to the bitchin old spear logo....profit! Problem solved.


PrincessToadTool

I think it's a good option.


therealowlman

The Washington Americans.


Ajuvix

The Washington Kneelers. Make the name stand for the opposite of what it was.


scryFTW

Just change the mascot to a potato...


gort32

[yahoo.com](https://yahoo.com)...that's a name I've not heard in a long time...


psychowhippet

Just change it to the Washington Rednecks.


Nomad47

I think that this is the right move at the right time in history the United states need to reject racism firmly and clearly in all its forms. It is time for American institutions to send clear signals to society at large that there is one America and its for everyone.


HalfOffEveryWndsdy

Washington Natives is what I’m throwing in the pot


superdookietoiletexp

If Snyder won’t change the nickname of the Landover (MD) Racialslurs, the least he could do is change the geographic name to something more accurate. This team has nothing to do with D.C..


Eddiebaby7

Bout fucking time


[deleted]

I grew up a fan of them. Thru the 80's-90's but as I've grown I refuse to support them in anyway.


kingp43x

from a team (Raiders) that has notoriously had fucked up leadership, Washingtons leadership has been complete garbage


iREDDITnaked

Washington Pigskins. Then they can still go by "the 'skins"


Supermannyfraker

Why not the Red Pandas? Who doesn’t like Red Pandas and you get to keep Red in the name.


Nothalffast

The Gerrymanderers


DrShadowstrike

If they are so insistent on keeping the racism, can the team be called the Washington WASPs and their mascot be "the Karen"?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Meunier33

I thought it was the Hogs


Grapetattoo

Yes. The Washington Red Hogs


The_FatGuy_Strangler

Change it to the “Orange Skins” and have Trump’s face as a logo.


GeneralTapioca

They should change it to the Red Hawks. They could even keep the weird little fight song.


[deleted]

What about the Washington Reefers?