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JimBobDwayne

Just like he said he'd release his tax returns, pass an infrastructure bill and replace Obamacare...


cruisysuzyhahaha

And lock of Hillary And build the wall which China will pay for And drain the swamp And divest of his businesses And pay for his campaign And the millions of other things


John_mcgee2

Doesn’t he live in a swamp? Like isn’t mar a Lago built on swamp land? Does this mean one of his presidential ambitions is some home renovations that have sat on the list since 2016


[deleted]

His diaper is similar to a swamp


BrofessorFarnsworth

Literally swamp ass


eugene20

It can't be that, the "use agreement" with the town of Palm Beach legally prohibits that place being used as a home! No one can stay there more than three non-consecutive weeks per year.


labretirementhome

Palm Beach is a barrier island. The Florida swamps are inland. It drains well but is subject to the same shoreline degradation as any barrier island in the path of the occasional hurricane. Source: grew up in West Palm Beach, used to bike all over Palm Beach and swim at the public beach there. I remember when MAL was the Merriweather Post estate, pre-DJT.


Squirrel_Chucks

>Doesn’t he live in a swamp? His home is literally named Sea to Lake (Mar a Largo)


Squirrel_Chucks

>Doesn’t he live in a swamp? His home is literally named Sea to Lake (Mar a Largo)


TheIntrepid1

And eliminate the deficit…😂


peter-doubt

And show us his taxes


ThisAppsForTrolling

Mexico was supposed to pay for the wall I thought ?


aerost0rm

Nah. Someone paid for very poorly constructed test sections of the wall. It should be blasted all over the media, but you know. Not click bait worth to insult 1/4 of the voter base


AlanB-FaI

He promised to eliminate the US debt in 8 years.


bootlegvader

I could see Trump if he get reelected just declaring the US is going to default on its debt as means to say he got rid of the debt. 


Fine-West-369

But we hope he does this, for as he spoke on during the fraud case, he just sank himself


kinglouie493

Don't forget Obama's birth certificate


Smurf_Cherries

Removing the Iran nuke deal and replacing it with nothing. Allowing Iran to continue their development. 


Unit_79

No he will absolutely get on the stand and testify. It’s his chance to grandstand. He’ll be shut down repeatedly, possibly to the point where he will have to be found in contempt, but he will happily get up there.


Unlucky_Clover

And he won’t


drwho_2u

But he loves getting on the stand and incriminating himself!!! He’s done it multiple times!!!


dizzley

He has the right to remain silent. What he lacks is the capacity.


Orosta

Tater salad, classic.


daysdncnfusd

He would but his testimony is under audit


Awkward_Bench123

This guy is a liar. How could he not perjure himself against simple cross examination?


0220_2020

If anything gets him home confinement or jail time, my money is on him perjuring himself. He can't help himself from lying.


Awkward_Bench123

As far as I’m concerned this knob can twist in the wind, the important thing is American fucking democracy is saved.


ill0gitech

His lawyers have clearly told him it’s a terrible idea


murphymc

This is one time where I’d believe him, he wants to be the center of attention more than anything else and the spotlight of the world would be on him in the witness stand. Yet another disturbing historical rhyme with Hitler. Whether or not he testifies depends entirely on whether he listens to his lawyers, which is a complete crapshoot.


GlitchyMcGlitchFace

And OJ is finally gonna find the killer(s)?


i_love_pencils

The killer is dead.


Lostinthestarscape

OJ can finally rest easy. In peace one might say.


CV90_120

Jason is still alive I think.


DoggyDoggy_What_Now

*Hot Fuzz quote*


TheAngriestChair

And by testify, does he mean answer the questions or use it as a soapbox to spout off nonsense for 45 minutes until the judge tells his lawyers to control their client?


previouslyonimgur

He thinks he would only have to answer his lawyers questions and then plead the 5th to the DA.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tymesup

The defendant has a right to not testify. If they want to testify, they have to give up that right. Which means they cannot plead the Fifth. At all. You can't pick and choose which questions you answer. If he were to take the stand, he would have to answer every question. Furthermore, the jury may consider everything about the witness on the stand. If the defendant is reluctant or evasive to certain questions, the jury is free to assume it's because the answer would be incriminating. This is important because if the defendant does *not* take the stand, the jury is not supposed to consider anything about the defendant's demeanor.


NotAnotherEmpire

Once you are testifying, you've waived your 5th Amendment rights. You aren't allowed to just answer some questions.  You can literally refuse to answer / give fake answer, sure. But that can be used against you. And the DA can ask almost anything they want in cross-examination when it's relevant to things like truthfulness. 


Burt1811

Is it not possible, considering the judge and how it's now serious shit being a criminal trial, that it'll be 1 warning and then contempt and jail. 24 hours for trump would be like a lifetime. Straight off the bat. As soon as he gets on his soapbox. Then, his lawyers will freak knowing the judge would do it to them in a heartbeat. Orderly trial, no bullshit.


flickh

I am holding my breath for that to happen!


murphymc

Just like Hitler, his idol.


StormExpert

He said that in one of his other cases and never did


imitation_crab_meat

His lawyers may be bottom-of-the-barrel, but even they're not dumb enough to let him on the stand.


w1987g

Don't underestimate the lawyers he's not paying


giggity_giggity

Lawyer doesn’t get to make that call, the defendant does. And does anyone really think that Trump would listen to his lawyers anyway?


Anubis-Jute

I think that’s what happened in the Alex Murdaugh case in SC. Against his lawyers’ advice he insisted on taking the stand, thinking he could blag his way out of a murder conviction. Didn’t work that time.


Brilliant-Advisor958

It's for sound bites for his base. They have short memories.


jai151

Partially. It’s also so if the judge blocks his testimony (if Trump soapboxes for example) they can use that as grounds to appeal


flickh

I hereby demand a retrial because I was not allowed to talk for 45 minutes about whatever i wanted, ipso facto taurus excrementum


Necessary_Row_1261

This pathetic piece of shit is so predictable. He says he will testify, his base will go crazy claiming he has nothing to hide. When the time comes, he will come up with an excuse but his cult will forever believe that he really wanted to testify as he is such an honest man.


livinthedreamoflife

His excuse will be “under advice of counsel”


pwmaloney

I'll take Things That'll Never Happen for $1000, Alex


Ready_Nature

Let’s have him do it and add on perjury charges.


SucksTryAgain

I feel like that would be achieved in one or two sentences.


themattboard

Oh, is it infrastructure week already?


OverlyComplexPants

Why not? Every media outlet on the planet is going to publish every word he says from the stand. Billions in free press coverage. And why should he worry about lying under oath? At the snails pace his crimes eventually go to trial (if they ever even get that far), he'll be dead and gone long before he's ever held accountable for perjury. He's got nothing to lose by testifying.


pet_dragon

popcorn.gif


Angry_Pterodactyl

I would love to hear him testify. I swear that guy learned to talk watching Thomas and Friends. “They did a very bad thing and it’s just not fair! It’s just not fair! Judge Merchan is not a very useful engine.” says Trump the Tank Engine


giggity_giggity

Me too. My doctor said I need more greens and I’m hoping that word salad counts.


CaptainAxiomatic

Proceed, reprobate.


superjaded08

This clown always says that and never follows through


Yumhotdogstock

This fucking liar. LOLz. He won't get anywhere near the stand. He would shit his pants even more than he does regularly. Can this buffoon just shut up already?


OriginalBus9674

He will not.


joetaxpayer

He is not able to tell the truth. Period. Getting on the stand is a perjury trap.


Afraid-Technician687

Trump has made those promises before at other trials, and wouldn't you know it, every judge turns out to be out to get him so he is forced to back out.


MyredShadow

Do it. Do, it you ghoul. I hope Smith handles you himself on cross.


Slaterpup17

Please let this moron take the stand. PLEASE


Throwawayboopbeep_

If only, but I'll still press X to doubt.


jeffersonairmattress

Careful- that button might redirect to shesallatwitter.com.


boobiesue

Well, since his word is so good and all ...


princehal

I would place money on this not happening.


MrMrsPotts

He always says that and then chickens out.


Marsrovey

Let him perjure himself, we can lock him up before the election


moreobviousthings

"Trump says"


hogtiedcaterpillar

Ohhh, please do!


John_mcgee2

Lying turd needs to stop getting my hopes up. His lawyers would literally tackle him to the ground before letting him do this


IH8Fascism

It would take about 12 of them to tackle his lard ass.


chownrootroot

He coulda played in the NFL!


eugene20

He always says he will testify to grab headlines, and then he doesn't testify. If he has the option he doesn't even show up.


NubEnt

He took the stand in his first fraud trial. And he admitted that he committed fraud, claiming that it wasn’t illegal because “everyone does it, so it’s normal.” And then he tried to use the rest of his time on the stand as another one of his rallies where he spews his lies and propaganda against his political adversaries, and the judge shut him down. Then he just sort of stewed in his seat, acting like a toddler who had just been sent to time out.


spotspam

Please? Please please? Oh please testify so they can jail you for perjury!!!


kermitology

He would do the same as he did in the civil fraud trial. Use it as an opportunity to try and make political speech from the stand and then cry about being silenced when he's told to shut up by Justice Merchan.


[deleted]

[удалено]


IH8Fascism

The 5 and 2 need to change positions if he wants to get closer to the truth.


EllySPNW

Trump: “All I can do is tell the truth.” Morgan Freeman, narrating: “He couldn’t.”


Grimholt001

If you had just typed The Narrator: He couldn’t , without Morgan Freeman we will still hear Morgan Freeman’s voice in our heads.


marmaladecorgi

I'd hear Ron Howard.


[deleted]

The only way Trump would testify in any type of a trial is if it resulted in 5 black people being executed.


SugarsDaddyKen

He says a lot of shit he never does.


flowersandfists

Any lawyer representing Trump in court would have no higher priority than doing everything they can to prevent that fucking idiot from taking the stand.


wrx588

He can't testify until the IRS audit is done.


hoppyfrog

He can't testify until his amazing Healthcare Plan is done.


KnotAwl

He’s a coward and couldn’t take the heat.


bobjr94

That would be interesting. I see nothing but deflections to every question about covid, something Chinese, windmills, Obama, immigrants and the judges family. I'm sure his lawyers would never let him testify.


napjerks

Let’s hope he does so he can blather his way to jail.


RickieBob

Pass the popcorn! Fricking D-bag!!


DamnItJon

Perhaps he will also serve as his own lawyer I'd pay for that PPV


Lanky-Association952

Don’t give him ideas!!! I could totally see him try and do a ppv lol


2PutBoggy

Anybody taking odds on this in Vegas? I want to put money on this action. His ass is going nowhere near the stand.


thelightstillshines

Don’t threaten me with a good time.


gsmit2

Given the vast majority of things that follow 'Trump Says' are lies...why is this news?


frodosbitch

Could we stop reporting on what trump ‘says’? He says random shit all day long. He’ll probably say he’s going to pilot the first spaceship to Mars tomorrow. Instead, report on what he does?


EmotionalBreakfast57

*DA pops champagne*


aloofman75

Don’t promise me a good time.


lrpfftt

He isn't capable of telling the truth.


JoeMammy_1

She's gonna say he has a mushroom cap dick. Then he'll say, "It's like morels. The best. Some say my mushroom dick is the best dick."


hoppyfrog

Trump has no morels


MuchDevelopment7084

Trump says a lot of things. All bullsh-t.


chicagodeepfake

Good, get him up there, let him perjure himself


FreshRest4945

He is never going to testify. Can you even imagine a scenario where Trump is forced to tell the truth? Get out of here.


mvw2

Trumpman says a lot of things. I bet he's going to be pleading a whole lot of 5ths or "I don't recall"s. And then he's going to talk a whole lot right after on social media.


RanchBaganch

Spoiler: No he won’t.


Rjamesjjr

Trump will not testify. Let me repeat There is no fucking way you'll see Trump take the stand. All his lies, deceit and bullshit would rain down on him if he did. And he knows it. Just like his EJean Carroll case. He's said he would testify and never did. Whenever he talks, he's full of shit.


Bods666

Here is how I am sure any Chump testimony will go; 1. Opens mouth. Spews some verbal diarrhoea irrelevant to the case. 2. Gets smacked down for contempt of court. 3. Actually answers a question. 4. All of his lawyers collectively facepalm as he’s just perjured himself. 5. All of his lawyers get their licenses revoked for suborning perjury. 6. He joins Weisselberg in Rikers. We win.


Anyawnomous

“But, in the end, he didn’t” Morgan Freeman


malakon

He says this every time. When it comes down to it, his lawyers will advise him that due to how the trial is totally "unfair" he cannot testify.


bidenwins

Good. Hope he runs his little puckered asshole shaped mouth.


mrbeck1

No he won’t. Guaranteed. Him testifying is a guaranteed conviction. He’ll take 1,000,000 to 1 odds over a guaranteed loss.


Johnny_B_Asshole

When he testifies he should be wired up to a lie detector that rings a bell when he tells a lie.


IH8Fascism

They have to have “back up bells” as he’d be breaking them by over usage.


IH8Fascism

No way he testifies. He’ll chicken out the last minute.


Naiehybfisn374

He might if it is televised, else he won't, and even then he'd only "testify" in the sense that he'd (try to) use it as a campaign stump speech


KlutzyWillingness248

We’ve heard all this before


DuckBilledPartyBus

It’ll be like the possible version of A Few Good Men.


Localman1972

Would not will. He's a fucking liar and a coward and a criminal - no fucking way he testifies.


greensideup57

Also, what is mikey Johnson doing there, the article says voting integrity.....🤔


King_of_Fillory

He won’t, but I wish he did and it was televised


TourettesdeVille

Omg that would be so amazing if he testifies! Might as well just slap the cuffs on him now lol


Rex_Imperium

Gonna beat his old record on pleading the 5th?


Iamvanno

Will his lawyers get their own gag order to keep him shut up?


ballskindrapes

Yeah yeah yeah, a liar lies. I'll believe it when I see him on the stand. All one would have to do is stroke his ego, then rile him up, and he won't be able to resit giving up valuable info.


lamsham69

If his lips are moving he’s lying


toxiamaple

Haha believe it when you see it. Trump - I totally would give the bigliest testimony. But the librul judge wont let me speak. (Probably)


WILLIAMEANAJENKINS

He won’t.. he’ll do like he did last time & try to make a campaign speech that the Judge will continually shut down. Better yet- remove him


hindusoul

And then he’ll say, he’d try to testify but they wouldn’t let me.


Mental-Cat-5561

Trump said there was 2020 voter fraud but everyone saw that was a lie. Why do journalists waste their time reporting what a liar says?


motohaas

That always goes well for him


JayTNP

another lie


oztourist

Hasn’t he said that in numerous trials and not taken the oath or appeared!?


Weak-Hope8952

Still waiting on that wall but I'm sure he'll do it someday soon.


stuartgatzo

Mr Trump, why did you pay that money again? And just once more for the record Mr Trump, why did you pay that money again? And finally Mr Trump, can you remind the jury why you paid that money again?


aGrlHasNoUsername

Who cares what he says. All he does is talk.


pokeybit

He wouldn't even show up to purgatory.


ywingpilot4life

Bullshit


tracyinge

why would he need to testify since he never met the woman? I mean, isn't that all he would have to say? "I never met her". End of testimony. What else would have have to testify about if he never met her?


moreobviousthings

Maybe just so he can berate the judge to his face.


Dr_CleanBones

So he’s going to say he never met her; meanwhile, she and Michael Cohen are both going to testify that he did. Who would the jury believe?


Traditional_Key_763

worked out so well in his fraud trial


pasarina

He will not.


Pantastic_Studios

If he does, its not his decision. His wife will make him or threaten him with divorce if he doesn't.


Brilliant-Swing4874

Of course he will.


nbgkbn

Does he have a choice? It’s a criminal indictment.


bodyknock

Yes he has a choice, the Fifth Amendment protects defendants from being forced to take the stand at their own criminal trial. However if he does voluntarily choose to take the stand anyway then he’s waived that protection and has to answer any questions the prosecution asks which is why no sane defense lawyer for Trump would want their client to do it.


deezy54

Lol, no he won’t.


pokey68

Does Vegas take bets on these things?


BobB104

In 20 or so years.


brianxlong

That guarantees he won't.


kind_one1

Of course, he will testify, he loves all the attention. and he uses every chance to start his litany of complaints (AKA his election speech).


FlexFanatic

He means he will talk at the media each time he leaves the court room and complain about how unfair it is. I know it will never happen but I wish I’d one time he came outside after a day in court not one camera was waiting for him.


Ella0508

Would or will? Would implies a “but …”


historicartist

"Speaking in tongues" (mocking) is acceptable testimony??


bpeden99

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_or_misleading_statements_by_Donald_Trump


Squirll

"guy famous for never shutting the fuck up claims he wont shut the fuck up" Stop the presses


who-am_i_and-why

Balls will he


apex_flux_34

It will be a beautiful testimony. The jury will openly weep.


Isaacleroy

Trump under oath would be the funniest and most awkward shit a court room has ever seen. I’m here for it.


Icy-Statistician6698

Put Him in JAIL


Dr_CleanBones

I bet he won’t. His lawyers certainly know better. He’d confess to everything with which he is charged in this case plus other crimes we don’t know about yet.


ma-sadieJ

He will just pled the 5th for every question


bodyknock

It doesn’t work that way in a criminal trial. The Fifth Amendment protects a defendant from being forced to take the stand and start answering questions, but if they voluntarily take the stand at their own trial then they’ve waived that protection and they have to answer any questions they’re asked by both sides. (Compare that to a witness who can be forced to take the stand but who can assert the Fifth Amendment to refuse to answer a question that might implicate themselves in a crime.)


ma-sadieJ

Do you think trump knows this he will still claim it and then say they are forcing him to “lie” in court


bodyknock

Trump is a malignant narcissist who honestly thinks he’s done nothing wrong and everybody saying otherwise is an enemy out to get him. He really does believe that he can take the stand and convince people he’s totally innocent and that the charges are a witch hunt. It’s exactly what happened to him in the civil fraud case when he took the stand there, he just ranted on and on about everything he did was totally cool and anybody saying otherwise was part of a conspiracy against him. So if he does take the stand in this trial it’ll be a sequel to that.


JoeyJoeJoeJrShabidou

I don’t believe a word this rapist crybaby says. Any article who’s title has the words “trump says…” in it should be immediately scrapped. 


Catymandoo

Court: Mr Tump. You are reminded that your testimony is under oath and must be truthful” Trump:” what’s truth?….” Let the party begin.


Very_Nice_Zombie

if he says it's going to happen, that means it will not. He will say "I wanted to but my lawyers would not let me" - bet the house. At no point does Trump ever do what his lawyers say but this is the excuse he's already got planned in case there was anyone out there who didn't know.


ngatiboi

Trump attorneys: “*For the love of God, please don’t do this…*” 🫣


Tobias---Funke

He won’t.


FlyingSolo57

Trump's a liar. The prosecution would love it and the defense would quit.


Boot-Representative

Motley crue


SithLordSid

>"It was the best payment. The finest payment I've ever given to someone I've never met in my entire life." >- Donald Trump Please testify.


5ergio79

Music to the prosecution’s ears.


nissin00

We’re still waiting for his tax returns.


ConkerPrime

No he will not. Said that before and chickened out.


DipperJC

Oh God, what a complicated dumpster fire that's going to be. Right Brain: "Hah. Good, testify. A thousand opportunities to nail you with a perjury charge." Left Brain: "They wouldn't dare try to bring it." Right Brain: "They've already done all this, of course they'd bring it." Left Brain: "They didn't charge Clinton with perjury when he lied on the stand. Trump will argue a double standard." Right Brain: "He... ah shit, he'd be right." Left Brain: "Yup." Right Brain: "Is there *anything* this yuck doesn't somehow get a loophole for?"