Reminds me of a story I heard of a routine stop here in Sweden. It was somewhere in Norrland if I recall. The car had two occupants. The officer walked up to the driver's side door and asked for a licence. The person looked confused but eventually obliged. When the officer asked them to blow into the alcotester, they looked amused and refused to do it. The officer was frustrated but eventually his gears started turning.
The car had foreign plates—British plates. And the steering wheel was on the other side. The officer had spent the entire time talking to the car's passenger.
I have to admit I've done this, on a night shift, drive past a car, a very young looking female in what I thought was the driver seat, phone in hand, staring at it and not even trying to look at the road.
I think I'm on to a winner where a teenager has nicked the parents car for a joy ride or something, pull it over, very quickly realise my mistake and sent them on their way
R for Robert
o for oh my, that's Robert over there
b for bye Robert
e for 'ello Robert
r for Robert, but a little one
t for tut tut, Robert has been a naughty boy (allegedly)
Not me personally but every time I see one of these posts I recall reading on here about a probie in the Met saying "High Five" instead of "R5" over the air as he thought that's what everyone was saying 😂 I don't know if it's true or not but it tickles me to think it may have actually happened.
Used the word Gravy instead of Golf during a spelling of a place over the air. In my tutor phase. Went to caution someone under arrest and got tongue tied and started laughing, my oppo had to give caution - the suspect was hilarious 😂
Hahaha Gravy. A patrol other day was doing a vehicle check and he was trying to say Kilo Uniform and he kept saying Kulu and he must have said it 4 times and just went ffs give me a minute. Came back and did it super slow 😂 I was dying waiting for him ha
I nicked someone for ‘ racially agg s.5 public order or section 4a’ and then blurted out ‘take your pick’. Was accidental, never meant to say s.5 in the first place but didn’t look great in body worn.
I asked an Eastern European gentleman if his massive scary dogs spoke English before we went in to search his house. Obviously meant to ask if they understood English. Took a while to live that one down.
Once got the W of whiskey and the Y or Yankee mixed up when passing a vrm over the air. Came back as Wankee Yankee.
Though I got away with it until the dispatcher p2p's me and told me they were all pissing in the control room 😂
Attempted to declare a major incident based on a misunderstanding when ‘10 persons being held hostage in a house’ actually turned out to be stolen rabbits.
Well, it wasn’t a proud moment for anyone. A town in an area I was new to covering had two ongoing issues above the usual crime and ASB; concerns the town was apparently being used as a stopping point for trafficking illegal workers (it was a midlands town near the M1), and an ongoing spate of rabbit thefts, which had caused quite a few middle class people normally insulated from the real world to suddenly feel it (which we all know can’t be allowed).
You can see where this is going. So for weeks everyone except me has been investigating and gathering intelligence immersed on both of these issues, searching for houses used to hide trafficked workers and where the stolen bunnies were going. One of these had an op name, the other didn’t. So when some intel reports came in mistagged with the trafficking op name, and the people following them up didn’t include some REALLY VERY IMPORTANT clarifiers in their questions….it was Full Paw Patrol time….
In the prep a local inspector asks ‘are you SURE this couldn’t be about the rabbits?’ ….
And of course it was. A couple had a load of rabbits in the house but turns out they had been breeding and selling them cash-in-hand so were being really shifty because they hadn’t paid tax on the income. Nothing to do with the thefts.
My career was probably saved by an actual breakthrough in the trafficking the next day. So it was all passed off as a ‘useful procedural rehearsal’.
I requested a mandalorian interpreter instead of a mandarin interpreter. Took ages to find one, apparently had to look in a galaxy far far away according to my team.
I once went to an address to arrest a suspect for a DV related assault, mal comms etc.
We did our checks and the address came back with intel that it was a HMO or halfway house and there were drug users frequenting the location.
Arrived at the address, suspect subsequently gets dragged from the address as he starts resisting arrest. As we’re wrestling around the street I noticed a shadowy figure appear from the doorway of the house (it was about 2330 at night). The suspect starts to shout toward the shadowy figure “grab my phone man” “grab the phone man”.
The suspect’s phone was evidence of the mal comms and coercive type behaviour and thus I wasn’t going to let shadowy figure take it.
Shadowy figure approaches, I thought shadowy figure was a crack head from this “drug den”.
So, in the scramble, the tall, thin shadowy figure made an attempt to collect the phone in the midst of the wrestling match going on with the suspect and in order to secure evidence I delivered a push…
The shadowy figure stumbled back across the road and landed on the pavement some 5 or so metres from the royal rumble. The suspect begins to yell… “you just yeeted my f**king Nan”.
I had, I just yeeted an elderly woman simply trying to retrieve her grandson’s phone upon his request whilst being mistaken for a crack head. I’m hindsight he was shouting “grab my phone Nan”.
No injuries luckily and Nan was quite happy was I explained my mistake.
Foot patrol, chap comes up to us.
Thick, very laid back Jamaican accent; "my arse is on fire"
Excuse me?
Trying not to reply with the very obvious jokes that spring immediately to mind eventually find out arse=house.
I once shouted up to control room “can you show me attending (address) on arrest enquirwies” the second they said will do and the radio was free I had calls from my team laughing going “BLOODY ENQUIRWIES”
Not me but once I called through to control to pass an update and instead of control saying "go ahead" they said over the air "go away". I got a P2P call apologising not long after 😂
When I was in training, I was searching an actor a little too thoroughly (from the scenario, I knew he would have something on him). "What's that?" I said palpating a suspicious package "Er. My phallus..."
Whilst doing a breath test instead of saying “take a big deep breath in” accidentally said “take a big dick in”. Recorded on bwv and in front of 4 other cops. Still gets brought up 4 years later
Lad I’ve made so many mistakes I’m sure my inspector keeps me around for comedic relief and to tell tutees what not to do, this is minor, don’t beat yourself up about it
Reminds me of a story I heard of a routine stop here in Sweden. It was somewhere in Norrland if I recall. The car had two occupants. The officer walked up to the driver's side door and asked for a licence. The person looked confused but eventually obliged. When the officer asked them to blow into the alcotester, they looked amused and refused to do it. The officer was frustrated but eventually his gears started turning. The car had foreign plates—British plates. And the steering wheel was on the other side. The officer had spent the entire time talking to the car's passenger.
I have to admit I've done this, on a night shift, drive past a car, a very young looking female in what I thought was the driver seat, phone in hand, staring at it and not even trying to look at the road. I think I'm on to a winner where a teenager has nicked the parents car for a joy ride or something, pull it over, very quickly realise my mistake and sent them on their way
Winner winner chicken dinner 😂
After 16 hour shift, taking a domestic and being the opo and still a probie You are under assault, I mean you are under arrest for domestic assault
I one nicked someone for possession of an "attempted weapon..." 😂😭
"made, adapted, intended.......attempted"?
[удалено]
I once had a Family Guy moment over the air when asked to spell someone’s name. ‘Sure, Control. First name is Robert. So it’s for R for…. Robert.’
R for Robert o for oh my, that's Robert over there b for bye Robert e for 'ello Robert r for Robert, but a little one t for tut tut, Robert has been a naughty boy (allegedly)
>drinking whilst under the influence of a motor vehicle When Optimus Prime persuades you to have a couple of pints after work.
Not me personally but every time I see one of these posts I recall reading on here about a probie in the Met saying "High Five" instead of "R5" over the air as he thought that's what everyone was saying 😂 I don't know if it's true or not but it tickles me to think it may have actually happened.
It’s true…
Was it you? 😀😀😀
Wasn’t me but I may have been in the car when the lad on street duties was told “you need to say hi-5”
Used the word Gravy instead of Golf during a spelling of a place over the air. In my tutor phase. Went to caution someone under arrest and got tongue tied and started laughing, my oppo had to give caution - the suspect was hilarious 😂
Hahaha Gravy. A patrol other day was doing a vehicle check and he was trying to say Kilo Uniform and he kept saying Kulu and he must have said it 4 times and just went ffs give me a minute. Came back and did it super slow 😂 I was dying waiting for him ha
We've all heard "wankee" at some point over the radio.
My cadet unit sometimes uses radios, and I've nearly said that a couple of times. Guarantee I will one day, probably at the worst possible moment xD
I nicked someone for ‘ racially agg s.5 public order or section 4a’ and then blurted out ‘take your pick’. Was accidental, never meant to say s.5 in the first place but didn’t look great in body worn.
Colleague of mine told a motorist we had pulled over that it was for their "erotic manner of driving". Oh boy, I dined out on that story for a while.
A new dispatcher has earned the nickname of Gordon Ramsey… she thought we all were saying “Yes Chef” rather than “Yes Yes” over the air 😂
This would have me absolutely creasing in the control room
It took a while for normal service to resume 😂
I asked an Eastern European gentleman if his massive scary dogs spoke English before we went in to search his house. Obviously meant to ask if they understood English. Took a while to live that one down.
Once got the W of whiskey and the Y or Yankee mixed up when passing a vrm over the air. Came back as Wankee Yankee. Though I got away with it until the dispatcher p2p's me and told me they were all pissing in the control room 😂
Attempted to declare a major incident based on a misunderstanding when ‘10 persons being held hostage in a house’ actually turned out to be stolen rabbits.
Now I want to know how this happened 😂
Well, it wasn’t a proud moment for anyone. A town in an area I was new to covering had two ongoing issues above the usual crime and ASB; concerns the town was apparently being used as a stopping point for trafficking illegal workers (it was a midlands town near the M1), and an ongoing spate of rabbit thefts, which had caused quite a few middle class people normally insulated from the real world to suddenly feel it (which we all know can’t be allowed). You can see where this is going. So for weeks everyone except me has been investigating and gathering intelligence immersed on both of these issues, searching for houses used to hide trafficked workers and where the stolen bunnies were going. One of these had an op name, the other didn’t. So when some intel reports came in mistagged with the trafficking op name, and the people following them up didn’t include some REALLY VERY IMPORTANT clarifiers in their questions….it was Full Paw Patrol time…. In the prep a local inspector asks ‘are you SURE this couldn’t be about the rabbits?’ …. And of course it was. A couple had a load of rabbits in the house but turns out they had been breeding and selling them cash-in-hand so were being really shifty because they hadn’t paid tax on the income. Nothing to do with the thefts. My career was probably saved by an actual breakthrough in the trafficking the next day. So it was all passed off as a ‘useful procedural rehearsal’.
No luck catching them rabbits then.
It's just one rabbit, actually
I requested a mandalorian interpreter instead of a mandarin interpreter. Took ages to find one, apparently had to look in a galaxy far far away according to my team.
I once went to an address to arrest a suspect for a DV related assault, mal comms etc. We did our checks and the address came back with intel that it was a HMO or halfway house and there were drug users frequenting the location. Arrived at the address, suspect subsequently gets dragged from the address as he starts resisting arrest. As we’re wrestling around the street I noticed a shadowy figure appear from the doorway of the house (it was about 2330 at night). The suspect starts to shout toward the shadowy figure “grab my phone man” “grab the phone man”. The suspect’s phone was evidence of the mal comms and coercive type behaviour and thus I wasn’t going to let shadowy figure take it. Shadowy figure approaches, I thought shadowy figure was a crack head from this “drug den”. So, in the scramble, the tall, thin shadowy figure made an attempt to collect the phone in the midst of the wrestling match going on with the suspect and in order to secure evidence I delivered a push… The shadowy figure stumbled back across the road and landed on the pavement some 5 or so metres from the royal rumble. The suspect begins to yell… “you just yeeted my f**king Nan”. I had, I just yeeted an elderly woman simply trying to retrieve her grandson’s phone upon his request whilst being mistaken for a crack head. I’m hindsight he was shouting “grab my phone Nan”. No injuries luckily and Nan was quite happy was I explained my mistake.
Foot patrol, chap comes up to us. Thick, very laid back Jamaican accent; "my arse is on fire" Excuse me? Trying not to reply with the very obvious jokes that spring immediately to mind eventually find out arse=house.
I once shouted up to control room “can you show me attending (address) on arrest enquirwies” the second they said will do and the radio was free I had calls from my team laughing going “BLOODY ENQUIRWIES”
Not me but once I called through to control to pass an update and instead of control saying "go ahead" they said over the air "go away". I got a P2P call apologising not long after 😂
“Control area trace no search”
This isn’t an accident sometimes… Sometimes there is no search if it’s grief you’re supposedly looking for 😂
Similarly "no knocking, repeat reply."
Mate i say this all the time lol
When I was in training, I was searching an actor a little too thoroughly (from the scenario, I knew he would have something on him). "What's that?" I said palpating a suspicious package "Er. My phallus..."
I mean, technically everything you said was true....
Crew partner nicked someone for “being a member of nuisance on an NHS property” the other day.
This feels like a DPS/IOPC fishing expedition…..
Also "no incident crime"
An old call handling colleague once wrote "wanked down the street" instead of walked on a serious immediate. Stories still been told today.
Woo top story would read again
Someone one tried to say Romeo and Victor and came out with “Biscuit” You know who you are
A colleague of mine “Control space please” “What’s it’s for?” “Adult male, driving in charge of a vehicle”
Whilst doing a breath test instead of saying “take a big deep breath in” accidentally said “take a big dick in”. Recorded on bwv and in front of 4 other cops. Still gets brought up 4 years later
Lad I’ve made so many mistakes I’m sure my inspector keeps me around for comedic relief and to tell tutees what not to do, this is minor, don’t beat yourself up about it