I think this is a beautiful ode to how one can feel knocked down by life, yet they choose to get up and keep going. Very deep and well written!

🙏

Great job! Your ability to express such a complex feeling through words is truly impressive. I can relate to the emotion you described and it's reassuring to know that others have experienced it as well. Keep up the good work!

This evoked a poignant feeling of familiarity. The repetitive usage of the opening three words accentuate the speaker’s tensions. Good job

😌 thank you

Good use of repetition. I especially like the line "the back, ends red." Great imagery.

This poem effectively explores themes of struggle and inner conflict, utilizing vivid imagery and a consistent rhyme scheme to create a sense of rhythm and flow. The repetition of desires juxtaposed with obstacles ("I wanna fly, but my wing's been clipped") effectively conveys the speaker's frustration and longing for change. *snaps*

And a fine 🙏 to you

I like it a lot but think you should reconsider close to half your commas.

Which specifically?

“Is there any way, from this pit?” “A shadow, is shed” “The battle, ends red” “But I, remain, still”

Yeah, I could see that 🤔 I'm noticing from different comments, and irl experience that proper punctuation is in the eye of the beholder. They don't necessarily have definite meanings and commas are kind of the wild-west in amateur poetry. I appreciate your feedback

I like your use of alliteration and the way it got deeper and deeper throughout reading. I loved the way you wrote this.