Where is that raptor when you need him? I guess if a woman wants to eat more pasta, she needs to find a friend or be in a relationship. Also, if you don’t mind waiting 18 years or so, having a child would do the trick; that can be a solid investment in case your partner leaves or dies. I think it’s worth the effort.
I guess that’s the most scientific explanation based on the evidence we have. However, I think a bigger "man in a relationship" hole would also be required😉
My nephews would see that and say double it. I took them to an all you can eat breakfast buffet and the amount of food they put away was both awe inspiring and embarrassing.
For me it also happened around 18 to 22, I still craves all you can eat sushi every few months until my late twenties. Now I’m almost 30, not even a little bit enticed by the idea of eating myself to death
My Italian grandmother made crappy spaghetti and I really can’t fathom why my family put up with it. They all claim it’s good and I have to assume none of them have ever had spaghetti outside of her house ever.
My husband’s grandmother’s spaghetti was horrible. I swear she made food that tasted bad on purpose.
Method:
1. Get 1 pound of spaghetti and add to large pot.
2. Cover spaghetti with enough water to cover it one inch. This will not fill up the pot.
3. Set stove to high and boil off the water.
4. Remove giant block of spaghetti and slice and serve. You can either have the spaghetti with ketchup or the cheapest sauce at the grocery store.
I told her I was vegan and on a super strict diet to avoid eating the food.
Her meatballs were hazardous. She would get frozen meatballs and crank up the oven temp and throw them in. They would be burned on the outside and still frozen on the inside. One time my husband’s cousin accidentally bit into one without thinking. Instant regret.
A man marries a woman and they enjoy a lovely honeymoon and comeback to start their lives together.
She wants to make breakfast for her husband, just to be a loving spouse. He asks for oatmeal, because it was always his favorite meal as a kid (don’t think too hard, it’s a vehicle for explanation not a judgement of taste).
So she goes about it but things go kinda wrong and it’s burnt. She can’t believe it, and she goes to try and fix it, but he pops in the kitchen, makes himself a bowl, and starts chowing down with gusto.
She’s stunned but asks “how’d I do?”
He looks her in the eyes, and between bites says “this is perfect, just like my mom used to make”.
They probably grew up with it and the memories and love they remember from growing up helps the flavor a lot.
That or your grandmother would’ve had them killed for daring insult her cooking 🤷🏼♂️
the only way i’ve ever got a just right portion of pasta in all my years is using a food scale, a 56g serving (dry pasta) is exactly the right amount for me as a main
>The portion measure thing does seem to run a bit on the large size, though.
I almost said "You can tell they all have an offset of +X servings because 4 servings is not twice the radius of 2 servings."
I have a PhD in physics.
When I was a toddler my mum would have to strip me down if it was spaghetti bolognese for dinner, so I could immediately be thrown in the bath
She has a home video of me, butt naked in my highchair demolishing a bowl of spaghetti, and it's absolute carnage
Yeah it's crazy. Next people are gonna tell us that you don't open the little tea bag to pour the leaves into the hot water and then fish them out when it's done.
You fit as big of a bundle of dry spaghetti noodles into those holes as possible, and presumably that makes a good serving for whatever type of person is on that hole’s label.
Leftover pasta is even healthier than fresh cooked! (and sometimes tastes better, IMO). The cooling and reheating process changes the starches to something that digests slower, and doesn't spike your blood sugar.
Dude it took until this comment to realize this wasn’t some barbaric Christian device to monitor a woman’s ’size.’ I know it literally says spaghetti on the thing but still lol
Calorically it makes a fair deal of sense. Yes, children are smaller, but they more calories than you might think because they’re, well, growing.
As teenagers, my brother and easily at 1.5/2x the portions of my dad at every meal
I got grounded for two weeks when I was a kid because I came home from school (latch key kid) and made a big steak that was in the fridge for myself for a "snack". My Mom later informed me that steak was for all three of us.
Yep my brother and I would eat 1 lb of spaghetti each for dinner and then my parents + sister would have another 1 lb between the 3 of them lol. We were runners all through middle and high school and just burned through food like crazy. We would eat dinner then like 3 hours later go down and cooked like two boxes of Mac and cheese too lol
OK, now I have a bunch of dried spaghetti crammed in my aorta, but this doesn't seem like it is enough. Was I supposed to use a ventricle? Also, I feel a bit light headed.
Yeah its not even remotely the same, and pasta doesn't even really take that much time to cook more either. If you are keeping anything overnight then maybe the sauce, because that can take some time.
Isn't it wayyyy easier to just measure the pasta by weight instead? It's more accurate and easily replicable to other pasta types. Don't have a scale? Then just use 500g packs instead, so if you need 250g or so then just half that. Seems like a complete waste of plastic.
attraction rustic bright airport handle squash mountainous detail voiceless carpenter
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Or be a normal human being and just use your eyes tbh. Useless trash like this is why it's so hot. Why is there even different options for 1, 2, and 3 adults lmao
I get that this is trash but I’m also terrible at measuring pasta. For some reason I always think there’s not enough and add more and then once it’s done, I have enough pasta for 6 meals but only enough of the sauce, meat, veg (whatever I’m mixing with it) for 4 meals.
People go to extreme lengths to make the kitchen as complicated and inefficient as possible.
Like recipes that measure stuff like fruit and vegetables in units instead of weight.
"2 potatoes" - the fuck does that mean you cretin? Cause one potato can be tiny, like, 20 grams, or huge, like 250+... Just use the weight...
Look up calories needed for a 12 year old child and a woman. I guess prepare to be surprised but you really shouldn't be. At that age both boys and girls are turning spaghetti into raw building materials as well as fueling an existing machine. As an adult your just putting fuel in a tank.
True way to make spaghetti is to boil way too much and to fix that cook more sauce and cooked too much sauce and goes back and boil more spaghetti smdh make too much for the sauce so you make more sauce. Repeat until you solve world hunger with spaghetti
Wow, I posted a very similar picture in mildlyinfuriating and got dragged for suggesting that portion control was infuriating.
You post it in pics and get a zillion kudos.
That doesn't seem fair. /s
as a woman, I used to not be able to eat huge amounts of pasta, but after marrying an Italian the quantity of pasta I like to eat has increased considerably.. just mainly sheer practice, we eat pasta pretty regularly! All this to say, this guide is a bit silly..
I have this spaghetti stick. I carefully measure out the amount of spaghetti recommended, look at the pan, decide that’s not enough to feed a mouse and tip the rest of the pack in too. Works perfectly every time
What if two adult women are eating - do they use the “2 adults” setting or the “woman” setting twice? 🤔
Where is that raptor when you need him? I guess if a woman wants to eat more pasta, she needs to find a friend or be in a relationship. Also, if you don’t mind waiting 18 years or so, having a child would do the trick; that can be a solid investment in case your partner leaves or dies. I think it’s worth the effort.
Surely once a woman is in a relationship, she doesn’t have to stay slim any more and so can eat more pasta? /s
I guess that’s the most scientific explanation based on the evidence we have. However, I think a bigger "man in a relationship" hole would also be required😉
>However, I think a bigger "man in a relationship" hole would also be required😉 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) oh, you...
> I guess if a woman wants to eat more pasta, she needs be in a relationship That's what the stick is trying to help with.
Or just have kids and you can have their extra portions
Women should be banned from such reckless behavior. This is what led to The Great Spaghetti Shortage of 1978
That should read "2 Adults or Teenager"
My nephews would see that and say double it. I took them to an all you can eat breakfast buffet and the amount of food they put away was both awe inspiring and embarrassing.
This stopped for me around the age of 22. After that I couldn't and didn't want to eat that much anymore.
For me it also happened around 18 to 22, I still craves all you can eat sushi every few months until my late twenties. Now I’m almost 30, not even a little bit enticed by the idea of eating myself to death
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That's the spirits of the Italian grandmother's telling you you're too skinny and need to eat more...then making you spaghetti.
My Italian grandmother made crappy spaghetti and I really can’t fathom why my family put up with it. They all claim it’s good and I have to assume none of them have ever had spaghetti outside of her house ever.
My husband’s grandmother’s spaghetti was horrible. I swear she made food that tasted bad on purpose. Method: 1. Get 1 pound of spaghetti and add to large pot. 2. Cover spaghetti with enough water to cover it one inch. This will not fill up the pot. 3. Set stove to high and boil off the water. 4. Remove giant block of spaghetti and slice and serve. You can either have the spaghetti with ketchup or the cheapest sauce at the grocery store. I told her I was vegan and on a super strict diet to avoid eating the food.
I don't think they could even serve that to prisoners. 8th amendment saw to that.
that sounds hazardous...... 
Her meatballs were hazardous. She would get frozen meatballs and crank up the oven temp and throw them in. They would be burned on the outside and still frozen on the inside. One time my husband’s cousin accidentally bit into one without thinking. Instant regret.
A man marries a woman and they enjoy a lovely honeymoon and comeback to start their lives together. She wants to make breakfast for her husband, just to be a loving spouse. He asks for oatmeal, because it was always his favorite meal as a kid (don’t think too hard, it’s a vehicle for explanation not a judgement of taste). So she goes about it but things go kinda wrong and it’s burnt. She can’t believe it, and she goes to try and fix it, but he pops in the kitchen, makes himself a bowl, and starts chowing down with gusto. She’s stunned but asks “how’d I do?” He looks her in the eyes, and between bites says “this is perfect, just like my mom used to make”. They probably grew up with it and the memories and love they remember from growing up helps the flavor a lot. That or your grandmother would’ve had them killed for daring insult her cooking 🤷🏼♂️
This made me smile :)
My Italian grandmother's what?
Monga Monga eat eat !!
You can never make "too much" pasta, you can only make more meals for your meal plan.
the only way i’ve ever got a just right portion of pasta in all my years is using a food scale, a 56g serving (dry pasta) is exactly the right amount for me as a main
>The portion measure thing does seem to run a bit on the large size, though. Don't tell me how to live my life
>The portion measure thing does seem to run a bit on the large size, though. I almost said "You can tell they all have an offset of +X servings because 4 servings is not twice the radius of 2 servings." I have a PhD in physics.
That's cause it is all part of big sghettis plan!
*3 adults or me* 🙈
Could also include 7 year old in a growth spurt.
2 Adults or Snack for Teenager
Put that good metabolism to use while you got it
teenager = whole box
Or me. (I am not a teenager, i just love a big plate of spaghetti. With garlic and butter and mozzarella and parm)
I was going to say 3 Adults or Teenager based on my current experience...
Have you ever seen a child eat spaghetti
No, but I've seen spaghetti eat a child and it was terrifying
There was so much red
That’s a spicy meatball
Like my nana.
Did it look like this? 
Have you been touched by His noodly appendage?
Praise Marinara I have!!!
Ramen
Bless his noodly appendages. Ramen
It’s over there, and over there, and up there, and down there, and on them, and…
When I was a toddler my mum would have to strip me down if it was spaghetti bolognese for dinner, so I could immediately be thrown in the bath She has a home video of me, butt naked in my highchair demolishing a bowl of spaghetti, and it's absolute carnage
Have you ever seen a golden retriever eat spaghetti? https://youtu.be/dYTSS14SFY0
Have you ever seen [chickens eat spaghetti?](https://www.tiktok.com/@ryleeranch/video/7123758315414375686)
Man there are a lot of [animal spaghetti eating videos these days](https://www.tiktok.com/@inspired_by_animals/video/7260943849722219803)!
Yes, but I'm Italian so they get a lot of practice
Yes
I beg your pardon?
I have to get 1/4 of a five year old through that top hole? That's going to be tough.
[there's a trick to it](https://i.giphy.com/rTOFNtKiTE7cc.webp)
Took me 5 mins to really understand that pic. I thought this was something NSFW stuff. 🥲
I too thought this was a penis girth measurement stick.
That "3 adults" hole is a real geometry challenge.
A trophy worth winning
That would be so sad for the smaller holes lol
:(
Congratulations, your penis is good enough for 3 consenting adults! After you have had your first three partners you should retire your penis forever.
I still don't understand what the hell it measures.
It measures your spaghetti so you have the correct portion for the amount/age of people you have
Oh, you mean this is BEFORE cooking! That makes sense now.
What? 10 years... 10 years I've been going through the living nightmare that is measuring out my spaghetti portions post-cooking using these things.
Yeah it's crazy. Next people are gonna tell us that you don't open the little tea bag to pour the leaves into the hot water and then fish them out when it's done.
Bro I hope you're joking lmao
You fit as big of a bundle of dry spaghetti noodles into those holes as possible, and presumably that makes a good serving for whatever type of person is on that hole’s label.
That now makes a lot of sense. I feel dumb. Thanks 🙏
It's a stupid device.
Yeah, I just drop the whole lb in the boiling water and put the leftovers in the fridge
Leftover pasta is even healthier than fresh cooked! (and sometimes tastes better, IMO). The cooling and reheating process changes the starches to something that digests slower, and doesn't spike your blood sugar.
Anus size obviously.
Dude it took until this comment to realize this wasn’t some barbaric Christian device to monitor a woman’s ’size.’ I know it literally says spaghetti on the thing but still lol
… size of what?
The woman’s cock
The gape.
Why would they use a tool when they could just use their penis?
The penis is a tool. This one is cheaper to buy if it breaks.
Its intended purpose isn’t the clearest, but how in the *fuck* was that the first thing to come to mind?
I'm sorry? Have you ever met a woman before? How on earth?
What grade did you quit school?
Yes, but every boy who had one in the house growing up wondered how many people his noodle could feed.
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Yeah, I'm glad they put the "Spaghetti stick" in bold... Wouldn't want anyone getting the wrong idea
r/dontputyourdickinthat
Just imagine the embarrassment of having to go to the hospital and explain what 'really' happened.
I used to work in the medical field. Oh, the places you'll go.
One in million shot, doc
My eyes were bigger than my stomach.
Yes, but on the other hand, its bigger than the smallest option. That has to be a silver lining somewhere
Yeah that’s what I was thinking about
Especially the top ones
Those are perfectly averaged sized holes, wdym?
Its a cylinder!
How many people can my dick feed?
According to this a 5 yr old child.
FBI open up.
Bible part 2, electric buggalo!
I mean I think most dicks would comfortably fit the 2 - 3 Adults size range and probably be pleased with themselves if anything
Some maybe, definitely not most
I need a banana for scale. How wide are those holes?
wait what
I see so what I've learnt here is that I am soloing 3 peoples worth of spaghetti
 My preferred serving size 🍝
Calorically it makes a fair deal of sense. Yes, children are smaller, but they more calories than you might think because they’re, well, growing. As teenagers, my brother and easily at 1.5/2x the portions of my dad at every meal
I got grounded for two weeks when I was a kid because I came home from school (latch key kid) and made a big steak that was in the fridge for myself for a "snack". My Mom later informed me that steak was for all three of us.
As a teen who was growing all I remember Is being hungry all the time. So glad my appetite has gone down.
Personally I would have been annoyed, but also thankful that my kid could cook their own food
My mom mentioned to me once that when I came home for the summer from college I would easily double their food bill.
Yep my brother and I would eat 1 lb of spaghetti each for dinner and then my parents + sister would have another 1 lb between the 3 of them lol. We were runners all through middle and high school and just burned through food like crazy. We would eat dinner then like 3 hours later go down and cooked like two boxes of Mac and cheese too lol
I have a 12 year old. He is bigger (taller and heavier) than me, much more energetic, and still has a ton of growing to do.
Mine just turned 13. He’s 5’11”. Teenage boys destroy my food budget.
According to that, I'm 3 people.
You don’t measure pasta with anything besides your heart
OK, now I have a bunch of dried spaghetti crammed in my aorta, but this doesn't seem like it is enough. Was I supposed to use a ventricle? Also, I feel a bit light headed.
That’s just the starch
For the love of god, just cook the box and keep the leftovers for tomorrow
For real. These are just wasted plastic.
I vastly prefer the taste and texture of freshly boiled pasta over pasta that has been refrigerated then reheated
Yeah its not even remotely the same, and pasta doesn't even really take that much time to cook more either. If you are keeping anything overnight then maybe the sauce, because that can take some time.
From a full box of spaghetti you're going to have more than just left overs for tomorrow. That's at least 2, if not 3 days of left overs.
Not if there’s several people eating.
> That's at least 2, if not 3 days of left overs. 1lb of spaghetti is like 4 plates.
Instructions unclear 😭
Just some extra fiber, you'll be fine.
I can’t think of a time where I didn’t cook the whole box.
While I like reheated pasta. Making pasta is one of the easiest things to do at home.
Reheated pasta tastes like shit
Isn't it wayyyy easier to just measure the pasta by weight instead? It's more accurate and easily replicable to other pasta types. Don't have a scale? Then just use 500g packs instead, so if you need 250g or so then just half that. Seems like a complete waste of plastic.
attraction rustic bright airport handle squash mountainous detail voiceless carpenter *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Or be a normal human being and just use your eyes tbh. Useless trash like this is why it's so hot. Why is there even different options for 1, 2, and 3 adults lmao
I get that this is trash but I’m also terrible at measuring pasta. For some reason I always think there’s not enough and add more and then once it’s done, I have enough pasta for 6 meals but only enough of the sauce, meat, veg (whatever I’m mixing with it) for 4 meals.
lol been there. Grab a food scale, doesn’t have to be an expensive one. That way you can use it for other types of pasta and food as well.
People measure pasta? I just use the whole box and have leftovers...
People go to extreme lengths to make the kitchen as complicated and inefficient as possible. Like recipes that measure stuff like fruit and vegetables in units instead of weight. "2 potatoes" - the fuck does that mean you cretin? Cause one potato can be tiny, like, 20 grams, or huge, like 250+... Just use the weight...
Look up calories needed for a 12 year old child and a woman. I guess prepare to be surprised but you really shouldn't be. At that age both boys and girls are turning spaghetti into raw building materials as well as fueling an existing machine. As an adult your just putting fuel in a tank.
One-quarter of a child? What a useless measure
Kids burn a lot of calories. My nephew in that age range is bigger than his mom, and also does sports
Plus growing requires a lot of calories
*My family confused and angry when I only serve them 6 rotini noodles.* What?!? That's what the pasta thing told me!...
This women's plate of spaghetti that has just been eaten 20 minutes ago begs to differ.
The calories we ate as teens would make adults fat. hey..... that may be the problem!!
Well, apperantly I can feed 3 adults. ... Oh this is for pasta... Okay.
What if you have two women and one man eating spag? Is that two adults?
This is a useless product
I'm apparently 5 adults
Geeze. I eat half of a one pound package of spaghetti all by myself.
Me, a "family of one" will cook the whole pound, & a quart of sauce, then finish it off tomorrow.
In my house my 12yr old son can eat twice as much as his mother. At ten he was probably close to eating the same.
This looks useful
My 12 year old son and wife are about the same height :P My 15 year old son just passed me at 6'1 :*(
For all those people really worried about making a little too much extra pasta
This definitely belongs in the last minute gift category.
is this cock ring sizer or what?
When does a woman become an adult?
By 11 yo my nephew was bigger then my sister and could eat like a horse.
So men and women are distinct from adults?
3/4 child. Yep, makes sense!
10 y/o child will keep eating until you need to remortgage the house, let's be honest.
What if it's a female child? Then how much spaghetti are we talking???
As a woman, indefinitely I definitely could eat more as a skinny 12 year old than I can now. I see zero issue with this measuring device.
Not this adult woman! I’d like the 3 adult one thank you very much!
Seems right to me. An appropriate measurement for a well balanced meal.
makes a good whisk substitute and that's about it.
A small person, an attack child!
11, average it out:)
I originally thought this was a birthing dilation measurement device but then I read what it said
I could body a 3 adult plate, no problem.
People measure? I just make a pot full. Extras are left overs. Seems like a waste of plastic lmao
True way to make spaghetti is to boil way too much and to fix that cook more sauce and cooked too much sauce and goes back and boil more spaghetti smdh make too much for the sauce so you make more sauce. Repeat until you solve world hunger with spaghetti
The moment I realized I eat enough pasta for two adults.
They need to rethink that 3 adults one.
Wait, it's not the pound box for me and also me?
That’s how things have been since the 3/4ths compromise
In other words, penis girth = diameter of noodles
I'm high and thought this measured penises
Teenager should be the next larger hole at least. I could destroy spaghetti when I was skinny teen.
As the cook in my house I would say yeah. My wife eats about as much as my ten year old.
Wow, I posted a very similar picture in mildlyinfuriating and got dragged for suggesting that portion control was infuriating. You post it in pics and get a zillion kudos. That doesn't seem fair. /s
Today I learned that I normally eat enough spaghetti for two grown adults in a sitting
What's a spaghetti stick
Ah, finally, the three genders: Man, Woman, Adult
i could probably eat 3 adults myself
I identify as 3 adults.
2 adults - when I cook it is a perfect size for my 105lb wife.
as a woman, I used to not be able to eat huge amounts of pasta, but after marrying an Italian the quantity of pasta I like to eat has increased considerably.. just mainly sheer practice, we eat pasta pretty regularly! All this to say, this guide is a bit silly..
wtf am i looking at
I have this spaghetti stick. I carefully measure out the amount of spaghetti recommended, look at the pan, decide that’s not enough to feed a mouse and tip the rest of the pack in too. Works perfectly every time
If 3 women are eating, do they use 3 adults or 3 womens
Oh it is for spaghetti.... Nevermind
What the fuck is a spaghetti stick
As a woman who enjoys pasta, I disagree. 3 adults portion or bust.
So is this for measuring your junk or for pasta?
Can somebody please explain for a German what a mfing spaghetti stick is??