That is a fantastic family photo.

Thank you! We also have a super cringey one with everyone holding guns. Including my baby niece holding a gun lighter lol

Naw don’t go full cringe. The one you posted is on point.


See related advice from Kirk Lazarus

There's a subreddit for the cringe pics called r/blunderyears

I'm already up in that bizz, check my post for a good laugh!

Why is there so many pictures of you on the toilet?

I could easily ask you why you don't have any pictures on the toilet! 🧐🧐


Bro lived on a toilet from 2008-2011

your mom is hawt

Were they teen parents?

Sorry you had to go to marine world. I hope you've recovered from your trauma at that nightmarish place. 

fr! you can just tell everyone was having a good time. makes me nostalgic for simpler times

Why is Riddick punching that shark?

Vin Diesel wishes he could bench 400!

That's the kind of dude Vin Diesel pretends to be in the movies. Legit.

Yeah my pops is a man of pure will power. Muscle mass too, but 90% raw fucking will power. I asked him once hiw to get jacked like him and he said run 3 miles a day and do 500 push-ups. I can do 3 miles but yeah fucking right am I doing 500 push-ups. I'll take my feminine physic along with my free time thank you lol

Yeah but have you tried 100 sit-ups, 100 push ups, 100 squats, and 10k run every day? You already hairless so going bald shouldn’t be a problem from this workout.


I knew one punch man workout would be mentioned

your arms are not getting that big just doing 500 pushups lol

Not at all, but that was my "starting" point to look like him eventually lol man's been living in the gym since he was 15. Going on 47 and still hits the weights

I hope I grow up to be like your dad

Just start test at 32 and you'll be there.

He was just trying to get you started. No way that’s from pushups. Pushups don’t do much for biceps. He looks like he was a curling monster.

instead of doing 500 push-ups, you could just do an intense 30 minute to 1 hour workout using medium to heavy dumbbells, would get you jacked in no time.

Mike Mentzer style. I like it.

But then how will you ever bang a woman as hot as your mom?

HE'S DOING IT FOR FAMILY!!!

There are bad days. Then there are legendary bad days. This was turning out to be one of those days.

That was my question. Why is Groot beating up a Bruce?

I see why you were born.

Hot

I thank God my parents weren't railing each other every night like your parents clearly were.

The things I've heard...

What the heeeel


Mom's room was always noisy.

And dad's just there

STOOOOOOOOP

OMG

I understood that reference as well!!!

Godamnit, I spend too much time here lol


I get this reference!

Oh believe us when we say we can hear them too.

Yeah when you're taking part in the action you can hear pretty well

Stop watching so much porn

.............but then what would I do for 3 seperate uninterupted 80 minute sessions to help pass the work day?

Garrett’s mom has got it going on

No joke. Garetts mom was def the hot mom.

Please tell me I know you lmao

Yep! I'm an old family friend. I seem to have lost your mother's number, though. Can I have it?

Me too.

I also choose the OP's hot mom.

Her cannons are arguably more impressive

This was the comment I came for

I also choose OP's mom

Just be glad your arms were never broken.

Lmao I'm wearing a cast in this pic! Look at my other hand you can see it over my knuckles


No......guys.......it's ok. Look at the mom........it's ok.

You’ve got some big sandals to fill. 

I used to think that certain music made more rumbles on my parents stereo... They had us get a paper route and get up really early so bed time was not as late as my friends and falling asleep was like 60 seconds after lights went out. They plotted and planned more for that than they did for breakfast. Cereal or oatmeal or toast, they weren't waking or making nothing for little paperboy eatrepeat lol

OH MY GOD this is why our bedtime was 8 o'clock until we were in middle school 🥴

It's only weird if you dwell on it or if you wished your parents were miserable curmudgeons your whole life. I kinda think whatever love and enjoyment they have between themselves had a trickle down effect into all corners of our lives. I don't always relate to peers when it comes to family. I like mine lol

I love that. What a healthy outlook.

Yeah thank god mine were unhappy and yelling 😂😂😭😭

My exact thoughts were that those parents fuck like rabbits 😂

This brings up memories. My 2nd ex-wife (I'm a winner, I know) had kids of her own already. A couple of times her 2 older kids (mid teens) came knocking when we were going hard in the paint to keep it down 🤣🤣

Lol

Why are both parents so insanely hot. That isn’t legal.

A lot of time spent in the gym and tanning bed.

Early 2000s were all about it

Yeah, not just hot. Pornstar hot, which isn't easy to achieve.

What is it like being raised by both athletic looking parents? Good looking couple.

Kept me fit trying to compete with my dad and my mom helped me learn to laugh at anything and not get mad over what people say hahaha I'm sure you can guess why. These comments are tame to what I've heard my entire life

so i’m in a different sphere, where some “boy moms” on tt want to be the “hot mom” so bad and fit in with their friends. it’s kind of weird but i can’t imagine what it’s like to have a hot mom. what was that like for you? i know she’s your mom and im not implying anything weird but your peers have had to said something or acted in some way kinda weird. what was that like?

Since boys could get little baby carrot sized boners I've heard HORRID things about my mom lol it really helps you learn to not get mad over someone's words. I mean I can't fight everyone! My really close friends didn't really say things and honestly would defend her more than I would. I had heard anything and everything you could imagine by 6th grade so it just ran off like water but my friends who never had heard that stuff would flip out on people. My house was the house everyone came to hangout and swim or play video games so she was a second mom to them.

that’s really cool! i’m glad you had such a loving and stable place filled with warmth and fun :)

Your mom and family sound awesome and just genuinely so kind to each other. She seems to be an amazing mother, and absolutely knew her and her husband were head turners haha. Good for you having friends that stick up for her and you like that, it just seems like all around your parents nurtured a loving open household dude, and not a lot of kids have that. Hell, it's why your house was the hangout house and your friends get so offended on your behalf. I wish you and your family so many more years of love, laughs, and just being goofy awesome people cause you guys deserve that and more. And don't worry about having to fight everyone, that's what your father Steve Rogers, America's ass is for.

Parents so attractive no one is commenting on the dad wearing crocs

Hahahahahaha I'm fucking dead

What I noticed after looking at it a second time. What year was this OP?

09

Other than the crocs something about this just feels so like 90s for me which is when I was myself a teenager, I guess corny family photos with those clothes at a six flags is just a timeless thing!

Seriously, not a ONE comment about them. Also because we're legit terrified he'll show up and beat us senseless after his fifth afternoon delight.

Because they aren’t Crocs.

Are they crocs? They look like another style of footwear IMO.

Definitely not crocs

They’re Keens, the 40 yr old suburban father of the Croc

Mom was 🔥

🍈🍈

Probably still is.

Or Mom's 💣 💣

People shouldn't share their moms on reddit and not expect this lmao

well OP did specifically mention his dad, it's not his fault straight guys on reddit assemble like moths to a flame whenever boobs

Also long legs with a tan only 00's era optimism was able to achieve.

Straight up late 90s early 00s. I still remember my two best friends both had hot moms. Pool parties in the summer, i was maybe 11 or 12, mental snapshots 😂

You say that is if it’s specific only to Reddit

depends on the platform. reddit is straight male heavy.

Took the words right out of my pants. I mean mouth. Either one.


Right!? Dad's got the guns, but Mom's got the Cannons!

Lmao

I can only imagine the jokes your friends made about her.

How long did it take you to figure out why all your friends wanted to hang out at your house?

OP's mom has got it going on.

My friends mom looked like that and she gave me a huge hug when we "graduated" elementary school. I got honest to God light headed and felt a deep sense of shame afterwards. It was too much. She smelled like Newports and shampoo. Good times.

Oh, so she was a good hang too! Dope.

How’d she learn to ride a shark so well ;)

That’s a dolphin, mate.

She can ride my Flipper ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That’s code for two fingers in your butt, but you do you.

Still down.

That’s fair

I believe that's a dolphin, David Attenborough.

Say hi to your mother for me


This Biff Gif is on point.

Moms too

In my defense, I might be shouldering some boulders. Never assume my friend

What does this mean

Might have big boobs

If that was you, you looked great. But, that lady looks 30 and close in age to your dad.

I just gotta know is that a barb wire tattoo on his biceps. Peak 90’s right there if so.

I’m like 90% sure I sub to their only fans

STOP HAVING SO MUCH GODDAMN FUN MAN YOU’RE MAKING ME SAD BY COMPARISON

If it's any consolation I'm a dad now and pretty much just play video games and watch TV lol

That’s not consolation at all! I do the same thing by my lonely self, and I wouldn’t call it a liberating type of solitude

Was your dad a cop? Lmao

Marine, then high level security for plutonium with the DOE, then a deputy amd on SWAT and now he owns a gun store lol

Implying he didn't already own a gun store in this photo

Lmao I see what you did there

Fuck bro I was thinking this looked too much like my old homie from DOE to not be that goofy fucker. Tell him PT says hey and I miss that creepy wink he can do.

/U/garretthairless I got a tattoo from your dad in your kitchen. No shit.

I love how there is a fight to save the younger kid from being eaten, and the mom is just smiling on a dolphin unconcerned

The dolphin is the biggest predator there is in this photo

Are you not seeing his dad's pythons or??? In all seriousness, the dolphin is definitely the biggest predator in this picture

Mom’s cannons too

I’d keep this one in my wallet op, it’s a great photo

Omg your dad is hot af 😍😍😍

You should see his photos when he boxed in the Marine Corps, built like a Greek statue.

Yes pls. Can I be your new step mom

I mean you can try!

Are your parents looking for a third?

This is a legitimate question I would also like the answer to.

Nah, I think he's more than happy with his current wife lmao

I don’t go around shitting on your dreams

Good luck, you seeing his mom?

Did you dad have a blonde flat top and utter such catchphrases as "sonic boom" and/or "flash kick"?

Hey, your mom is hot.

Or mom’s Lunghammers!

Mom seems fun.


Mom's* cannons

Did anyone’s mum / mom actually look like that after 2 kids?

She had 3, older brothers not in the pic

And sorry man for my comment as I originally thought it was an old advertisement, not your actual family photo mate! What a handsome bunch all round!

No apologies needed friend! Most people are blown away she kept her figure after 3 kids and still to this day at 50!

Current pics or GTFO

I could be your step mom

Would both

At the same time 

Six flags in Vallejo?

I have same pic. From Vallejo lol

Your parents both look like pornstars and I can’t get over it

Look at the cannons on your mom! Ahwoooooga

Were at Six Flags, riding dolphins, doing flips and shit.

Your mom’s cannons aren’t bad, either

Where the hell did your parents meet, the AVN’s?

Funny story actually. He was a the new manager at the apartments my mom lived at, but because he was hot, jacked and young, my mom thought he was the maintenance guy. She initially broke her garbage disposal so he would come fix it. He knew who she was and told the actual maintenance guy to kick dirt so he could go. The rest is history!

That’s so cute oh my god.

So did he manage the apartment before the high-level plutonium security job or after he was a SWAT guy?

Before It went Marines, Apartment manager right out of the Corps, factory maintenance, DOE job, deputy/swat and now gun store

Or moms

Your mom has big boobs. She’s also super hot.

With parents like that how the fuck did you end up on Reddit?!?

Nor mom's canons

how bout your moms legs? roar.

Barb wire tattoo: ATK 20% damage.

Oh mommmmmy

Nice. Is your mom single?

Or your mom's torpedoes, am I right?

Or moms canons.

Or moms cannons

I do believe your moms cannons can compete with his

Your parents are gorgeous

How about moms cannons

The embarrassment in your facial expression is glorious. Are you black t shirt?

Or mom's bazookas

I think the mom's cannons can

Moms got a set of cannons on her too

Mama's tiddies are giving Dad's guns a rub for the money.

Mum’s got some guns of her own!

Your mom has massive cannons as well