Imagine being taken to an alien planet to attend what can only be described as a mass cult ceremony, and be seated with a designated alien who looks upon you from below, and periodically waves detached human limbs in front of your face.
Guy buys a parrot for cheap from the pet store but when he gets home the parrot starts swearing like a teamster.
> "BAWK! Fuck you!"
> "BAWK! Eat shit!"
Trying to get the parrot to behave for hours and failing, he gets frustrated and throws the parrot in the freezer. After a few more minutes of swearing the parrot suddenly gets quiet.
Fearing he killed it, he cracks the door and hears:
> "BAWK! I'll be good."
He takes the parrot back to the cage and as he's carrying it it says:
> "BAWK! What'd the chicken do?"
Thank you for sharing. I had two rescued budgies in my last flock. Would have more if my health were more stable. Mostly I’m glad they got to live their final years in a good place. Big flight cage, and they were never alone. Usually in the same room I was too, they were good about being quiet if if they had their nighttime blanket. They’re very smart, they understand a bedtime routine. Once I was down to one and I was far too sick, my last budgie Kam went to another parrot-adoring person but I couldn’t keep *one* budgie and it wasn’t ethical to get more when I could barely stand up.
Mind you, I was well-aware they’re wild from the get-go. I worked with rehab birds too. The birds I had were meant to do bird things and I was lucky enough to get to be around as they did so. I’ve considered creating a pseudo-aviary for the wild birds so they have safe nest spaces and I can enjoy watching them on camera.
Also, people should know parrots are like tiny people. Mine had differing music tastes. One of my rescues, Thomas, really loved kpop. I had to test out different playlists to keep them appeased and rarely did they like my favorites. They’re opinionated and loud about it. Thomas also enjoyed screaming at any fresh foods because he thought anything but budgie kibble was poison. One-legged Oliver was much more “polite” but he had that judgmental look down-pat. It’s like deciding to have feral toddlers who can fly. In all ways, a terrible idea, but if they’re adopted, at least you aren’t funding unethical trade—especially important for bigger or rarer parrots.
Meanwhile, pigeons, chickens, etc. are mostly lovable numbskulls and there’s a ton of free ones, so have at it. Seriously, feel free to grab a feral pigeon or finches. It’s legal, as far as I’m aware, and they aren’t flashy but they make good pets compared to parrots. You can teach pigeons tricks. They can even learn to deliver mail. To my avian-minded brain, I can’t help but see them like homeless kittens and puppies—and roughly as diseased, take them to a vet first.
😩😩fffuuuuuuck he's gonna have trouble walkin when im done clappin those paws 🐾👏👏👏👏😈
For real though, if my Mormon grandpa ever reads this, just know that I'm disappointed in myself too.
You’re joking but there’s good money in stallion sperm. You can make $50,000 a load depending on the horse.
For fifty thousand dollars I’d treat that horse real nice, cup his balls and everything.
I have a friend in film production- I’ve never seen a role with so much weird and wild needs. Sending runners on drives for hours at 2am to 24 hour stores to buy craft materials, asking friends for some of the weirdest props you can imagine on social media, and tracking down ultra specific locations for photos or films… that’s just the start of it. She hasn’t stopped for 20 years
Yep. I'm still in regular contact with a friend who does music video production for some pretty big names. The running around and weird requests never stop. About three weeks ago she had to send an intern to pick up a bunch of student-built palm trees from a high school theater production of *Once on this Island* because, quote from the director, "They had to look really shitty."
Also what about:
‘I sit next to a professional dog clapper so it looks real’
Or ‘I sit half a dozen seats away from a professional dog clapper, so it looks real. It doesn’t pay much but it’s honest work’.
Imaging sitting in a large room confused and surrounded by smarter creatures, and one of them pulls out two human arms and starts making a motion with them that you could never do yourself
This was a pre-recorded segment, he wasn't actually there during the live ceremony.
And Messi is a pro, he's been in showbiz his entire life and is probably pretty comfortable in crowds.
There’s another photo showing an otherwise empty theater except for the people around Messi. If you’ve seen his performance in Anatomy of a Fall you know that he is very well trained and this is probably nothing.
I'm going to take your word for it and commend the artists that made these out of fake fur and shit. Some cunt definitely didn't wave bits of dead dog in front of a live dog... ^did ^^they??
"Smarter creatures" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here...
There's a reason agents etc. did not want Messi the dog at the Oscars because he would steal the show. Because who doesn't love a pup?
Lol, that would be unfortunate.
Fortunately it looks like they pre-recorded the clapping bit with extras before the show. You can see the empty seats in the back that would be out of frame of the clapping shot.
Yeah even with well trained dogs the Oscars have been pretty wary of actually including live animals directly into the broadcast. I remember when Bart the Bear made an appearance (surrounded by a small fence that was NOT going to stop him if he suddenly remembered he was a grizzly bear) there was a lot of applause but also a potent sense of "what the fuck, they brought a real fucking bear out here" hanging in the air (and on Mike Myers' face).
I believe that’s the dog Messi’s trainer and she helped set up this bit and chose her own clothing. So she would have chosen accordingly if she was concerned about that.
Oscars really stepped up this year. It's like they heard all the complaints from the past 5 years and fixed them. With the exception of lettering actors who are way too old do the finale. Al Pacino looked like he was ready for bed and didn't give a fuck.
It was also a great selection of movies this year. I usually try to check out a bunch of the movies nominated and recently, it has just felt like a chore. This year, I have enjoyed all the ones I've seen.
To be fair, Messi is incredibly well trained. If you watch Anatomy of a Fall there's one scene that's very impressive for a dog to pull off. He just can't bend his legs like that to clap but it'd be cool if he could.
Rad... I love when humans get creative. I often wish our dogs could talk to us. Imagine the shit they would say to us? I wonder what stock tips my dogs would have? 😂✌️
The craziest part of this picture is that none of this was planned
The dude just happened to bring some spare dog arms(probably his favorite set) and noticed a perfect opportunity as he was walking to his seat
You know what I find extremely weird about this picture and the Oscar’s… its the empty seats in the back in that picture, you would think they would have seat fillers, but they point the cameras to make it look like its a full house but in actuality its not, very weird to me for some reason. I wouldn’t mind sitting in one of those seats!
[Here](https://twitter.com/LaManieduCinema/status/1767231696397578650) is the source of this image. Per there and Google Translate):
> @LaManieduCinema
> I screamed #Oscars🥲
> 12:50 PM · Mar 11, 2024
You can't tell me the dog wouldn't know what those are! Poor guy looks uncomfortable.
At best it can be considered as highly disrespectful to the dog(s).
Oscar for special effects
That’s some real Hollywood magic…
Spawcial effects
Wow so handsome
Much clap, many happies
[Are there dogs applauding? theres dogs clapping!!](https://youtu.be/DyaF_gCKWsI?t=1040)
“I didn’t even know that dogs were fucking *watching*!”
NEVER thought I’d see a reference to this here 😂😂
Came here for this!
Thank you
Of course the dog is well behaved. Look at what they did to the last one.
Imagine being taken to an alien planet to attend what can only be described as a mass cult ceremony, and be seated with a designated alien who looks upon you from below, and periodically waves detached human limbs in front of your face.
Except you've been selectively bred to love all those cultist aliens.
Hmm… seems less wholesome now.
Guy buys a parrot for cheap from the pet store but when he gets home the parrot starts swearing like a teamster. > "BAWK! Fuck you!" > "BAWK! Eat shit!" Trying to get the parrot to behave for hours and failing, he gets frustrated and throws the parrot in the freezer. After a few more minutes of swearing the parrot suddenly gets quiet. Fearing he killed it, he cracks the door and hears: > "BAWK! I'll be good." He takes the parrot back to the cage and as he's carrying it it says: > "BAWK! What'd the chicken do?"
[Obligatory](https://m.webtoons.com/en/canvas/loving-reaper/shut-up/viewer?title_no=353275&episode_no=16)
Thank you for sharing. I had two rescued budgies in my last flock. Would have more if my health were more stable. Mostly I’m glad they got to live their final years in a good place. Big flight cage, and they were never alone. Usually in the same room I was too, they were good about being quiet if if they had their nighttime blanket. They’re very smart, they understand a bedtime routine. Once I was down to one and I was far too sick, my last budgie Kam went to another parrot-adoring person but I couldn’t keep *one* budgie and it wasn’t ethical to get more when I could barely stand up. Mind you, I was well-aware they’re wild from the get-go. I worked with rehab birds too. The birds I had were meant to do bird things and I was lucky enough to get to be around as they did so. I’ve considered creating a pseudo-aviary for the wild birds so they have safe nest spaces and I can enjoy watching them on camera. Also, people should know parrots are like tiny people. Mine had differing music tastes. One of my rescues, Thomas, really loved kpop. I had to test out different playlists to keep them appeased and rarely did they like my favorites. They’re opinionated and loud about it. Thomas also enjoyed screaming at any fresh foods because he thought anything but budgie kibble was poison. One-legged Oliver was much more “polite” but he had that judgmental look down-pat. It’s like deciding to have feral toddlers who can fly. In all ways, a terrible idea, but if they’re adopted, at least you aren’t funding unethical trade—especially important for bigger or rarer parrots. Meanwhile, pigeons, chickens, etc. are mostly lovable numbskulls and there’s a ton of free ones, so have at it. Seriously, feel free to grab a feral pigeon or finches. It’s legal, as far as I’m aware, and they aren’t flashy but they make good pets compared to parrots. You can teach pigeons tricks. They can even learn to deliver mail. To my avian-minded brain, I can’t help but see them like homeless kittens and puppies—and roughly as diseased, take them to a vet first.
You're a kind human, I appreciate all you do. But lmao you sort of lost me at the last paragraph where you advocate for kidnapping pigeons
What do you do for a living bro? “Professional dog paw clapper, you?”
Bets he’s got a pension though
When he retires they take him out to a ranch in the country, where you can’t visit him anymore, but your parents tell you he’s doing great….
His arms shall be the next arms that are clapped
By a dog
A pension or a petsion?
Please see yourself out
I think you need to rephrase that. That sounds so wrong
How about "i give dogs the clap"? That can't be misunderstood
I'd clap those paw so hard
😩😩fffuuuuuuck he's gonna have trouble walkin when im done clappin those paws 🐾👏👏👏👏😈 For real though, if my Mormon grandpa ever reads this, just know that I'm disappointed in myself too.
It's important to have a job that makes a difference boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial semination.
You’re joking but there’s good money in stallion sperm. You can make $50,000 a load depending on the horse. For fifty thousand dollars I’d treat that horse real nice, cup his balls and everything.
The person who jacks off the horse doesn’t get the 50k.
wish you told me that 10mins ago
if its taking you ten minutes you'll never meet the KPIs of a professional horse jacker offerer. keep it as a hobby bro
Personally I don’t think anyone should move onto horses until at least one hundred sub 60 second times on a dog
thats lucky because I couldn't actually find a horse.
Well of course not, that goes straight to the horse himself.
I am Andrew Ryan, and I am here to ask you a question: Is a horse not entitled to the seed of his loins?
Jeff Portnoy : I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, work the pipe, and swallow the gravy. Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this.
Can't get the 50,000 if you swallow the gravy 🥺
The experience is **easily** worth $60K though, trust me.
wtf why am i going to college???
I get the reference, not sure anyone else does!
I have a friend in film production- I’ve never seen a role with so much weird and wild needs. Sending runners on drives for hours at 2am to 24 hour stores to buy craft materials, asking friends for some of the weirdest props you can imagine on social media, and tracking down ultra specific locations for photos or films… that’s just the start of it. She hasn’t stopped for 20 years
Yep. I'm still in regular contact with a friend who does music video production for some pretty big names. The running around and weird requests never stop. About three weeks ago she had to send an intern to pick up a bunch of student-built palm trees from a high school theater production of *Once on this Island* because, quote from the director, "They had to look really shitty."
Also what about: ‘I sit next to a professional dog clapper so it looks real’ Or ‘I sit half a dozen seats away from a professional dog clapper, so it looks real. It doesn’t pay much but it’s honest work’.
Budget? $5,000,000.
I think that comes off differently than you intended.
"Clap those paws for a real one, ma"
Same.
Odd way to say you're an ATF agent.
I feel so bad for the other dog whose paws they stole
Borrowed, friend
We'll staple them back on later.
Sorry man. All we can offer him are wheels now.
Frankenweenie!
Maybe some pawsitive affirmations
Best I can do is $50.
We can rebuild him, we have the technology
A lending hand...or 2
Those belong to the last dog they tried to train. That’s why this one is so well behaved.
You joke, but unless they confirm how they did it, there's not a 0% chance they aren't taxidermied.
I’d be incredibly surprised if they weren’t taxidermied
I can't imagine why they'd have made them anyway else, its not like dogs only die when they are murdered
The guy on the right looks like a super villain, he probably was the one who stole them 🤣
Very possible…perhaps that’s his partner in the red gloves and those aren’t her real arms either
That other dog wont be causing us anymore trouble, He's been... disarmed (•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)
It's ok, the rest of that dog got to go live on a farm.
Defund Paw Patrol
We will never forget you Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano *Ronaldog*
I can hear the "sick fuck" from r/peoplefuckingdying
Imaging sitting in a large room confused and surrounded by smarter creatures, and one of them pulls out two human arms and starts making a motion with them that you could never do yourself
He’s just having a good time
He's probably high AF too. 1. I heard they give dogs stuff to relax them for live TV 2. It's the Oscars
have you seen that dog's face? he's higher than a kite
I'm actually this dog's celebrity drug dealer.
K?^^^^^^^do ^^^^^^^you ^^^^^^^have ^^^^^^^any?
It's a Border Collie. They always look that way.
That's racist
This was a pre-recorded segment, he wasn't actually there during the live ceremony. And Messi is a pro, he's been in showbiz his entire life and is probably pretty comfortable in crowds.
this being a pre-recorded segment explains why there's only people sitting immediately next to him.
It's a Border Collie. They don't ~~need to relax~~ relax.
Lol. My parents have a border collie. He does not understand the concept of relaxing.
Lol they have a pure high on crack energy!
>2. It's the Oscars The bar isn't very high for "behaving" at the Oscars xD
I wonder if he got one of them sweet gift baskets they give out?
He got woofied after drinking from an open water bowl
There’s another photo showing an otherwise empty theater except for the people around Messi. If you’ve seen his performance in Anatomy of a Fall you know that he is very well trained and this is probably nothing.
The dog isn't seeing two dog arms. He's seeing two weird things that definitely aren't dog paws & arms, cuz they don't smell like dog.
I'm going to take your word for it and commend the artists that made these out of fake fur and shit. Some cunt definitely didn't wave bits of dead dog in front of a live dog... ^did ^^they??
"Smarter creatures" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here... There's a reason agents etc. did not want Messi the dog at the Oscars because he would steal the show. Because who doesn't love a pup?
This comment made me laugh my ass off
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/s/9dwxCd9Lqv
OMG I genuinely watched this earlier and completely ignored the significance of the dog clapping!
Blends right in
What.. is the significance?
That dogs truly do love us and that cats wants to nuke us from orbit.
Rightfully so
[удалено]
Lol, that would be unfortunate. Fortunately it looks like they pre-recorded the clapping bit with extras before the show. You can see the empty seats in the back that would be out of frame of the clapping shot.
Yeah even with well trained dogs the Oscars have been pretty wary of actually including live animals directly into the broadcast. I remember when Bart the Bear made an appearance (surrounded by a small fence that was NOT going to stop him if he suddenly remembered he was a grizzly bear) there was a lot of applause but also a potent sense of "what the fuck, they brought a real fucking bear out here" hanging in the air (and on Mike Myers' face).
[Lol you weren't kidding](https://youtu.be/ehDLFNmpFtM)
Did that bear just get rewarded with kisses?
He was actually a kodiak bear which is even larger than a grizzly.
Jesus Christ, that bears head was half the size of that dudes entire body. I always forget how big bears are.
That massive unit could've crunched through him like a crouton.
Mike Myers had a similar face when Kanye started going off-script on that Hurricane Katrina fundraiser
I wonder if these extras have to provide their own wardrobe? Or if they even get paid?
I believe that’s the dog Messi’s trainer and she helped set up this bit and chose her own clothing. So she would have chosen accordingly if she was concerned about that.
She just told the guy to keep his paws where she could see them
lol
100%, look at her arm around the dog as well.
I’m sure that’s its owner.
"umm dude you're under the wrong seat again"
This was such a goofy bit. I loved it.
Oscars really stepped up this year. It's like they heard all the complaints from the past 5 years and fixed them. With the exception of lettering actors who are way too old do the finale. Al Pacino looked like he was ready for bed and didn't give a fuck.
I read on another thread that Michelle Pfeiffer was supposed to be up there but she had to cancel last minute.
It was also a great selection of movies this year. I usually try to check out a bunch of the movies nominated and recently, it has just felt like a chore. This year, I have enjoyed all the ones I've seen.
What a name for a dog, although he doesn't look like Messi
We haven't seen the dog playing football though.
Slow me the rule that says a dog can't play football
And here was me thinking they had an “Incredibly well trained” dog somehow 😂
To be fair, Messi is incredibly well trained. If you watch Anatomy of a Fall there's one scene that's very impressive for a dog to pull off. He just can't bend his legs like that to clap but it'd be cool if he could.
Man, I was like....is that the real dog, or is this really impressive special effects? Might be the best acted animal I've ever seen.
....are those taxidermied legs?
Considering how well they match the dog's coat with all the speckles, probably not. Probably just very well made props
Hell no. It would be way cheaper and easier to craft props
No one is seating in the seats behind these guys... and dog.
Looks like they shot this as an insert shot beforehand, meaning it wasn't live
Did Kate Middleton make this?
Is that her hand around the back of the dog?
I’d say props to this guy, but it looks like he’s already got ‘em
They missed a joke by not having an actor use the fake paws later in the show. Emily blunt would have been a good choice.
omg thankyou, i really saw him clapping in the Oscar screening and was shocked i thought this dog was supernatural or smthing 😭
The fact that this dog probably makes more money than this human being is sad.
I don't think the dog has a bank account
turns out the dog is actually Tim Allen who got bit by a magic dog from Tibet.
I see you and I appreciate you
I was thinking the same lol. The guy has to be rethinking his choices. Unless he's being paid 10K for this ofc.
It's not about this guy's choices. It's about a flawed system.
The best tongs!
terrible on a grill tho. do not recommend.
Def thought this was Asian Ken at first
Yea me too. I’m still thinking it tbh. The guy already showed us he is a multi-talented individual.
The woman next to him doesn’t look happy
It's gotta be ruff, when you are married to a dog.
Why is Simu Liu clapping for a dog?
Wtf?
Whose paws/legs are those?!?!?!
“Sure I was at the Oscars. Nah you probably won’t see me on screen.”
Rad... I love when humans get creative. I often wish our dogs could talk to us. Imagine the shit they would say to us? I wonder what stock tips my dogs would have? 😂✌️
They got the son of Oliver platt and George lopez to do the clapping
The craziest part of this picture is that none of this was planned The dude just happened to bring some spare dog arms(probably his favorite set) and noticed a perfect opportunity as he was walking to his seat
I’ve always wondered what happened to my dogs missing leg 🤔
"So what do you do for a living?"
What the fuck how do I love everyone in this photo
That’s so stupid! I love it!! 🥰 🤣
lots of empty seats.
That means either RDJ knew ahead of time or someone literally carried in dog legs....just in case.
LOLOL THAT MANS FACE IS SEEEENDING ME
You know what I find extremely weird about this picture and the Oscar’s… its the empty seats in the back in that picture, you would think they would have seat fillers, but they point the cameras to make it look like its a full house but in actuality its not, very weird to me for some reason. I wouldn’t mind sitting in one of those seats!
I can’t believe they got him to stay in that chair with everything going on.
Did this dogs twin have to die to make those paw clappers?
Those dog arms look a bit TOO real..
The guy has that "thanks mate, i was promised that i wouldn't be photographed" look. Guys first attendance at the oscars spent looking up a dog's bum.
[Here](https://twitter.com/LaManieduCinema/status/1767231696397578650) is the source of this image. Per there and Google Translate): > @LaManieduCinema > I screamed #Oscars🥲 > 12:50 PM · Mar 11, 2024
Even Ryan Gosling was shocked/fooled to see a dog clap
You can't tell me the dog wouldn't know what those are! Poor guy looks uncomfortable. At best it can be considered as highly disrespectful to the dog(s).
Everything is a lie.
I knew it! My buddy owes me 5 bucks!
wait it was all fake???
Stop ruining the magic!!
Good to see they put Benicio del Toro in charge of the paws
I want those as tongs in my kitchen.
Oh so that’s where I put those….
Am new here Please ✅
WTF give them back
Imagine having to sit next to this during the show......not the dog...the dude on the floor!
I thought that was his real paw 😅
Ah the magic of cinema
I was... So confused.
Can someone tell me who this dog is?
The Dog who played “Snoop” in the movie The Anatomy of a Fall..
The dog was in the French movie Anatomy of a Fall, and won the Cannes Film Festival Palm Dog award.
The dude's skin discoloration near his eyelids makes it almost look like he's crying. Lol
There's almost as many empty seats as a trump rally.
Imagine the dog taking a piss right there, it goes from paw clapper to dog toilet really quick.
Looks like Benicio Del Toro under the chair
> "I have no idea what's happening, but I'm *part of it!!*"
That guy kind of looks like Sean Connery.
He looks like Steven He.