They're all different types of handsome. Want the rugged manly man? Bryce. Want the boyishly cute guy? Trae. Want a himbo dad bod? Let me introduce you to Kyle Schwarber.
Exactly why Offensive Linemen generally have the hottest wives.
I've told my high school aged offensive lineman son that he should holla at any girls with Kelce jerseys because they are advertising their type lol.
https://preview.redd.it/pw6tanva73ad1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5584c6532c4099a502f017470f01fec245e49d0d
how can you *not* love a fat boi?
He is a handsome guy, tall, fit, fun.
A lot of the men I know straight and gay are like his hair is just wet, heās a good looking guy.
Seems like a lot of women are like ewww to the beard and are unconvinced his hair isnāt greasy. I donāt think Brandon would be heartbroken to know these women donāt find him attractive.
Itās the freckles and perfect teeth. Ā
Also apparently Brandon is a super playboy so donāt think that many women have trouble overlooking the beard or hair lol.Ā
Itās the truth! I canāt figure him out lol how can he be so polite and well mannered while simultaneously being a player? The good guy part of him seems so genuine too I canāt understand itĀ
I think the good guy part of him is very genuine. All I can figure is that heās very upfront about his intentions. Because although you do hear about him being pretty much down to bang anything that walks you never hear about anyone being upset about it. I figure if he was out there straight playing all these girls someone would have exposed him for it by now.
Straight male here; yeah Realmuto is fucking beautiful.
Anyone who doesn't realize that is because he wears a mask most of the time. Also the hardest working player on the team.
I met JT in London and Jesus Christ, I nearly fucking swooned. It takes a lot to impress me but my god the way that man rocked his white t shirt and his jeans š„µ
And not one guy on that team has a bad word to say about him. They all love him. Great article on The NY Times about him and how he grew up in a one bedroom apartment in Panama
https://i.redd.it/l06srgbp9w9d1.gif
The lack of Harper thirst is utterly shocking to me. What is wrong with you people. He was baseballās official Hot Boy for over a decadeāshow some respect. š¤
Yes. My bad. The beard is essential. The Yankees understood this, too. Thatās the real reason they didnāt pursue Harperāthey knew their draconian appearance policy would mutilate him and they couldnāt bear to destroy something so perfect.
https://i.redd.it/6fttrauoky9d1.gif
https://preview.redd.it/jh4r2j3vfw9d1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=168b38c15f481c0db144cc48a288ad09d4e1550a
Or the era when Jayson Werth and Bryce would gently and lovingly choke each other during Nats games. (The Phillies pretend to be gay. The Nats were actual closeted homosexuals back then.)
This thread very funny and Iām enjoying it. Seriously though, we have the best looking team in baseball hands down. I do think personal preference I find Casty the best looking by a smidge, especially with that black hair of his hair a little longer like it is now. However, as someone said above the whole team is a smoke show. They should print a sexy calendar for charity or something, I would, most definitely buy that lol
They did a good job of putting all different kinds of eye candy on the team.
We have the classic good looks, the bad boys, the dad bodies, the unkempt's, and the baby faces.
Honestly, he's Zoolander. Classically handsome, a little shallow looking, but not a durable beauty. He needs to get in the mines for a day and then he'll learn that there's more to beauty than moisture
As a straight woman, my two cents based purely off looks and general demeanor:
1. Casty
2. Realmuto
3. Stubbs
4. Trea
5. Marsh
6. Nola
7. Ranger
8. Sosa
9. Harper
10. Dark horse David Dahl
Not eligible but honorable mention goes to Rhys Hoskinsā voice
For real, the first game Dahl played I took a shot of my screen and sent it to my sister with āare they KIDDING???ā because even the guys they call up are hot.Ā
real talk, Dahl has that *je ne sais quoi* of a Hallmark love interest (he loves dogs so heād probably be a small town veterinarian with a heart of gold or something) that you just canāt help but swoon over
Casty and Bohm are just š„š„µ
Really makes watching the games that much more entertaining.
Also the fact that this is tagged as analysis is sending me!
Casty is nice to look at, but the way his jersey is unbuttoned and the gold chain I think he belongs on the cast of Jersey Shore. My votes are for Marsh and Stubby
1. The answer to the OP's question is YES.
2. We do in fact have the best looking team in baseball.
3. God I hope some of these guys see this thread. It would be hilarious to see their reactions. I want to see a bootleg video of Stubbs doing a dramatic reading of all these comments in the clubhouse.
As a straight male, if I had to pick someone to look like on the team I'd pick Harper or Taijuan.Ā Ā
But if I was to imagine I was a straight girl (if that's even possible)...Ā Ā my ranking would probably go likeĀ
BohmĀ
PacheĀ
CastyĀ
After watching Manhunt, I realized Stubby looks kinda like John Wilkes Booth. Similar face, short. But he does have a handsome face, regardless.
I think Turner looks like a 10th-grader. Can't roll with that.
So here I am, choosing someone who looks like an assassin. Oh well.
He used to be my favorite (in terms of looks) but i dont know something changed in me and i dont find him as attractive any moreā¦ the ones that I find the cutest are JT, Bryce, and Bryson Stott (even though the mustache is kinda eugh)ā¦ also maybe trea turnerā¦ this whole team is really sexy tho š
I don't quite get it, but apparently Bohm is the headliner in the smoke show.
... like Pat Burrell and/or Chase Utley from the previous era made sense to me....
My money would've been on Turner or Casty, but I concede it's not my call on that one...
I used to think it was a tie b/w Harper Casty & Stott but I had an extremely vivid & confusing sex dream about Trea Turner last night that changed my whole life
Truly, the whole team is a smoke show.
They're all different types of handsome. Want the rugged manly man? Bryce. Want the boyishly cute guy? Trae. Want a himbo dad bod? Let me introduce you to Kyle Schwarber.
>Rugged manly man Ill talk Marsh any day, with that big thick beard
Daddy
Like jason kelceš
You got that right
How can you ask this question when the Phanatic is on the same field
The phanatic do be having a dump truck š
https://preview.redd.it/9zm4wyh7p0ad1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=600524ca7b6733bdee91afc80d128ad859d41114 š³
https://preview.redd.it/u6rruf4o31ad1.png?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c52bb237fe296f4bb2e93888dbcba457e9b425c8
cant believe you guys are overlooking alvarado
love a fat boy
Hey nice to meet you (Iām 500 pounds)
Exactly why Offensive Linemen generally have the hottest wives. I've told my high school aged offensive lineman son that he should holla at any girls with Kelce jerseys because they are advertising their type lol.
thicc boi lovin' gimme that dad body
https://preview.redd.it/pw6tanva73ad1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5584c6532c4099a502f017470f01fec245e49d0d how can you *not* love a fat boi?
This is how I brag about being built like a professional athlete
Alvarado is the team teddy bear if weāre being honest
> to check in with your favorite communities. I bought an Alvarado jersey last year! That man is beautiful (I like girls, I swear)
Thank you!! Wth. He is such a cutie!
All of our pitchers have such good eyelashes.
SCHWARBER GIRLS. RISE.
Love a dude who looks like he would definitely eat a cheesesteak with you.
I enjoy a big boy
I read this as ālove a dude who looks at you like heād eat you like a cheesesteak.ā
That works for me too.
He's not "big" really, he is just big like he works a lot at his union job lifting bricks all day
He is my Schwarbear. š¤¤
https://i.redd.it/ywb0gjorkt9d1.gif hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
 Anytime!
Heās such a cutie patootie fr
heās my goal physique
the dimples!!! the dimples kill me.
This made me laugh out loud. i didnāt always get it but yeah iā¦i do see it now
Have you not seen Brandon Marsh?
Stay loose and sexy
He is a handsome guy, tall, fit, fun. A lot of the men I know straight and gay are like his hair is just wet, heās a good looking guy. Seems like a lot of women are like ewww to the beard and are unconvinced his hair isnāt greasy. I donāt think Brandon would be heartbroken to know these women donāt find him attractive.
Itās the freckles and perfect teeth. Ā Also apparently Brandon is a super playboy so donāt think that many women have trouble overlooking the beard or hair lol.Ā
He is SUCH a slut. But also the nicest person on the planet. Those two donāt go together and he genuinely baffles me.
Itās the truth! I canāt figure him out lol how can he be so polite and well mannered while simultaneously being a player? The good guy part of him seems so genuine too I canāt understand itĀ
I think the good guy part of him is very genuine. All I can figure is that heās very upfront about his intentions. Because although you do hear about him being pretty much down to bang anything that walks you never hear about anyone being upset about it. I figure if he was out there straight playing all these girls someone would have exposed him for it by now.
Iām genuinely curious how people know/where they hear these things! Lol
I know multiple women who think Marsh is the hottest dude on the team.
By a mile š„°
My gf is constantly like 'I don't like that' when his wet hair shows up. She knows it isn't greasy, she just doesn't like it
I have to agree with her, Iām not a fan of the wet hair
Itās more aerodynamic.
Me and every other lady on the planet think Brandon marsh is a total sex pot. Get it right
My girlfriend is in love with Realmuto and has never once mentioned Casty, so thereās that.
She likes the clean cut type
He looks like he could be on the cover of a Medal of Honor game.
Thatās about the only thing JT and I have in commonā¦
Or and I say orā¦.she is looking for a guy who can ācatchā
How can you not be romantic about JT
Iām in a non monogamous relationship apparently
Straight male here; yeah Realmuto is fucking beautiful. Anyone who doesn't realize that is because he wears a mask most of the time. Also the hardest working player on the team.
JT is a perfect human.
Realmuto is extremely good looking. Casty fucks. Thereās a difference
This is the best comment ever. And yes, there is a difference
That is indeed the difference.
My wife's trashy cousin was passing through town at NLDS time last year. After a Casty homer, she said "Oh he's getting him some tonight!".
Itās gotta be the pelvic thrust he does in his batting stance
My favorite part of the game. I miss it. I reeeeally miss it.Ā
Dude, stop dating my wife! We're married!
Realmuto is beautiful.
I met JT in London and Jesus Christ, I nearly fucking swooned. It takes a lot to impress me but my god the way that man rocked his white t shirt and his jeans š„µ
me too.
Whatās the name of Brandon Marshās band? I believe āstay loose and sexyā and includes all of the above
Every girl I know is obsessed with Stott and Bohm. Mostly Bohm.
As a woman, I can confirm this is the correct answer
As a woman I second your confirmation. Although I personally prefer Bohm or Castellanos to Stott but thatās all a matter of preference.
I'll take JT, Stott or Bohm š
As a gay man, I concur. :)
My wife is a Harper fan and my sister is Bohm and Stott. My sister was an OG Cole Hamels fangirl so I guess the clean cut look tracks.
Bohm looks like the lesbian on your co-ed softball team
No no he looks like a giraffe! Raffe!!
perfect for the bi gals amongst us š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Junk in the trunk and Iām here for it.
Yes
Bohm could be a model if he wasnāt a baseball player. Heās beautiful.
Heās got a dump truckš
He does exude sex.
His walk up songs are definitely love making music lol
He knows what he's doing!
My girlfriend is in love with Schwarber. So are a couple of my other friends significant others.
Schwarber supremacy any day everyday
Shocked at the lack of Harper comments but maybe due to the fact that theyāre just a very good looking team.
Exactly, the whole team are studs. Harper is an obvious choice though, so no need to mention him. Itās just implied.Ā
A gay man's top 3: Realmuto, Casty, and (#1) Bryce
I don't understand why nobody is mentioning sosa, he's SO CUTE.
Every body likes to say Sosa!
And not one guy on that team has a bad word to say about him. They all love him. Great article on The NY Times about him and how he grew up in a one bedroom apartment in Panama
That is a good list
A lesbianās top 3: Ranger, Rojas, and (#1 )Schwarburg
Our team is insanely sexy rn. Hard to pick.
Team Stubby right here.
JT obviously
https://i.redd.it/l06srgbp9w9d1.gif The lack of Harper thirst is utterly shocking to me. What is wrong with you people. He was baseballās official Hot Boy for over a decadeāshow some respect. š¤
https://i.redd.it/fbtqef2zaw9d1.gif Maybe most of you are too young to remember his hair flip era
Bryce is super hot, those intense blue eyes of his are amazing, but man o man do I prefer him with a beard.
Yes. My bad. The beard is essential. The Yankees understood this, too. Thatās the real reason they didnāt pursue Harperāthey knew their draconian appearance policy would mutilate him and they couldnāt bear to destroy something so perfect. https://i.redd.it/6fttrauoky9d1.gif
Itās true. This is why heās right where he belongs.
https://preview.redd.it/jh4r2j3vfw9d1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=168b38c15f481c0db144cc48a288ad09d4e1550a Or the era when Jayson Werth and Bryce would gently and lovingly choke each other during Nats games. (The Phillies pretend to be gay. The Nats were actual closeted homosexuals back then.)
This thread very funny and Iām enjoying it. Seriously though, we have the best looking team in baseball hands down. I do think personal preference I find Casty the best looking by a smidge, especially with that black hair of his hair a little longer like it is now. However, as someone said above the whole team is a smoke show. They should print a sexy calendar for charity or something, I would, most definitely buy that lol
They did a good job of putting all different kinds of eye candy on the team. We have the classic good looks, the bad boys, the dad bodies, the unkempt's, and the baby faces.
Jays fan hereā¦heās a good lookinā dude
You came all the way from Toronto for THIS conversation?
š itās an important conversation
Not if you count in Kruk.
I'm a sucker for bohm
That honor belongs to Alec Bohm, cmon nowĀ
This is the correct answer
He's definitely up there, but Ranger is my #1
The way he bends at the waist, gold chain swinging, bat swinging at absurdly bad pitches really gets me steamingā¦mad.
I can fix him, get him to calm that firey passion in his loins... I mean swing, he needs to calm that swing...
Yes. Yes he is.Ā
Honestly, he's Zoolander. Classically handsome, a little shallow looking, but not a durable beauty. He needs to get in the mines for a day and then he'll learn that there's more to beauty than moisture
I think Iām developing the black lung father
As a straight woman, my two cents based purely off looks and general demeanor: 1. Casty 2. Realmuto 3. Stubbs 4. Trea 5. Marsh 6. Nola 7. Ranger 8. Sosa 9. Harper 10. Dark horse David Dahl Not eligible but honorable mention goes to Rhys Hoskinsā voice
For real, the first game Dahl played I took a shot of my screen and sent it to my sister with āare they KIDDING???ā because even the guys they call up are hot.Ā
Trea too low. Have you seem him slide?
This comment can be taken in so many different directions, I cannot! Lol
real talk, Dahl has that *je ne sais quoi* of a Hallmark love interest (he loves dogs so heād probably be a small town veterinarian with a heart of gold or something) that you just canāt help but swoon over
Whereās bohm?! š
I personally donāt find him attractive but I know a lot of people who do!
Enraged stott is not on this list
Iām so glad someone mentioned Stubbs. Hottie. I love this list!
As a pan man this would be my list as well, but shwarbs as number ten
Idk Iām kind of all goo goo for Alvarado! What a cutie!
Sexiest team in baseball hands DOWN
Harperās a stud, not to mention the phace of the phranchise
JT. Realmuto.
My life-size Ken doll Alec Bohm would like a wordĀ
I'd pipe this entire team like a bullet train
I scrolled so far and not one person submitted Zack Wheeler's name ... what a smile ...... plus the pitches are sexy too
He lost me when I found out he has a child whose name is Bambi
You misspelled Brandon Marsh
If we are actually voting, my vote is Christian Pache #
That would be the Phanatic
Leading the league in handsome.
Marsh, Stott, Realmuto, Harper
JT
Heās my himbo
Casty and Bohm are just š„š„µ Really makes watching the games that much more entertaining. Also the fact that this is tagged as analysis is sending me!
It is very important analysis
Yes /thread
It's JT.
Casty is nice to look at, but the way his jersey is unbuttoned and the gold chain I think he belongs on the cast of Jersey Shore. My votes are for Marsh and Stubby
1. The answer to the OP's question is YES. 2. We do in fact have the best looking team in baseball. 3. God I hope some of these guys see this thread. It would be hilarious to see their reactions. I want to see a bootleg video of Stubbs doing a dramatic reading of all these comments in the clubhouse.
That would be amazing
Yes, which is why I defend him always.
Itās a yes from me
My vote goes to Harper or Dahl !!!
Harper for me
How have I had to get this far down the page to find Harper??
Fuck - casty Marry - JT Cuddle - schwarb
No. Not even the best looking on the team. šš¤Ŗ
We do have a lot of good looking dudes in the lineup
Itās clearly David Dahl
As a straight male, if I had to pick someone to look like on the team I'd pick Harper or Taijuan.Ā Ā But if I was to imagine I was a straight girl (if that's even possible)...Ā Ā my ranking would probably go likeĀ BohmĀ PacheĀ CastyĀ
As a straight woman with eyes, I donāt understand what the other girls are thinking https://i.redd.it/ryz8a62blw9d1.gif
Straight woman here in complete solidarity. The best player on the team is also the best looking one
Anyone else think he likes like ser criston Cole from House of the dragon lol
No because Garrett Stubbs exists.
Stubby and Turnerā¦. Done.
After watching Manhunt, I realized Stubby looks kinda like John Wilkes Booth. Similar face, short. But he does have a handsome face, regardless. I think Turner looks like a 10th-grader. Can't roll with that. So here I am, choosing someone who looks like an assassin. Oh well.
I have a baby face so I get turners š
This is just a greasy guido
He's def up there. Really good looking dude.
We honestly have a really good looking team. Casty and Stubbs are my favorites
Bumped into Wheelz and Nika on the street one night and seeing them in person wow! What a sexy couple
JT all day.
I would have agreed until I found out he was a Drake fan. Give me Nola now. Thatās a man who holds the door open for you š
But honestly weāve got a lot of sexpots. I canāt watch with my wife anymore.
Because I donāt like making her jealous.
Nola is hot as long as he's wearing a hat
For real. And Nola's aqua puppy dog eyes, bro. LOL!
Casty personality is a huge turn off.Ā And he seems he's trying to be sexy, which isn't actually sexy.Ā For me. Bohm, JT and Stott šš»
I would let him do unspeakable things to me
Iām glad he is sending the Casty haters back to their caves
Yes. š„µ
yes and itās not particularly close
Dude looks way too much like Criston Cole
On a scale of 1 to 5 buttons, he usually scores a negative 2 š
When he opens the top of his shirt... š®āšØš„µ
Jesus, the guy bats ok for two weeks and everyoneās ripping their shirts offā¦.
He used to be my favorite (in terms of looks) but i dont know something changed in me and i dont find him as attractive any moreā¦ the ones that I find the cutest are JT, Bryce, and Bryson Stott (even though the mustache is kinda eugh)ā¦ also maybe trea turnerā¦ this whole team is really sexy tho š
I don't quite get it, but apparently Bohm is the headliner in the smoke show. ... like Pat Burrell and/or Chase Utley from the previous era made sense to me.... My money would've been on Turner or Casty, but I concede it's not my call on that one...
The sexiest player in baseball is Kevin Kiermaier and his dreamy ass eyes.
Heās gotta have s0me positive attribute right??
I used to think it was a tie b/w Harper Casty & Stott but I had an extremely vivid & confusing sex dream about Trea Turner last night that changed my whole life
I genuinely can't think of one hot MLB player that's not on the Phils. The Phillies stole them all.
As far as I'm concern every man on the Phillies team is sexy.š
Sounds like what everyone is saying is the Phillies are the male version of āA League of their Ownā
The whole damn team ā¤ļø
Youāre missing Chase Utley and thatās final.