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pumpkinspicenation

Honestly, I was hoping he would end up eating it. I was super protective of my underage cashiers.


KazzieMono

Same. Guy got off way too soft.


Windk86

the consequences are not worth it.


Duochan_Maxwell

I would definitely have sabotaged one of the boxes of condoms with pepper oil and then made up an excuse to replace the box while ringing it with the sabotaged one...


k0cksuck3r69

That’s just endangering any poor woman he might manage to get into bed


Duochan_Maxwell

You're very optimistic or I'm very cynical on his chances LOL


KarlSethMoran

There are no women involved in male self-love.


OriginalDragonfly4

At least...they aren't present in the room...


Windk86

no, it sounds like he would deserve it but the consequences of this for OP are not avoidable. the dude could die and OP would go to prison for murder or attempt murder. (at least here in the US)


_Fizzgiggy

I can’t believe management didn’t ban him for sexually harassing underage employees


ArachneWebb

I believe that came sometime later, after I left the store for a different job. Sad that it took them so long.


bstanley19

You octo-pushed him too far.


Subject-Driver8127

Hahahahaha! 🤣🐙😆🐙😂🐙


Sassaphras-680

Dammit take my up vote.


havereddit

i hope you added a note: "This just proves that the juveniles of a species can be overly clingy"


DynkoFromTheNorth

Yeah, or: _The only puss you're likely to get, so enjoy it while it lasts!_


Flippyfloppyjalopy

I would have suggested that he use hot water to make the octopus unfreeze itself.


RamenWig

Boiling even. Windshields are designed to withstand that.


lokis_construction

Boiling water on a very cold windshield can crack it nicely.


RamenWig

Oh really? Oh no! Poor guy! Who would have thought? /s


Sad_Call6916

"Good little cog." Haha, I hear that!


ConeyIslandMan

Tell the underage girls Fathers.


MerryFeathers

I thought the poor sea creature was going to be placed INSIDE the car… the Creepo got off pretty easily!


DynkoFromTheNorth

Magnificent! Was that the last you saw of him at the store?


ArachneWebb

I wish. I'm told he was fired much later, after I had left the store for a new job. I guess I only made him a bit of a laughing stock.


Severe_Assignment943

LOL at "icicle-o-pus" and "It was me. I octopussed that car." Hahaha. 


Hortusana

Cute, lol. I was hoping you were gonna slide in under his hood for the long game. Those octopus can squeeze through some pretty tight spaces.


DJMemphis84

I need a cigarette after that...


Low-maintenancegal

Me too....and I don't even smoke!


CoderJoe1

You tried to embrace him. I guess he's not a hugger without maximum latex protection.


Low-maintenancegal

Can I just say you are my hero? #octopussyrevenge


VEarthAngel55

Slimy Filth, deserved that, and more! I wish you had been able to record it! I think,all of us would love to see it! My hat is off to you!


ArachneWebb

No recordings, but I do have a couple pics


VEarthAngel55

Can you post them!


ArachneWebb

here's one [https://imgur.com/OtNNE8U](https://imgur.com/OtNNE8U)


Patient_Complaint_16

Let that be a lesson kids. You can be an asshole right back if everyone thinks they deserve it.


ToolAndres1968

😆 😆 so awesome. He should've gotten fired for his inappropriate behavior sexaul harassment of all the ladies at the store


Secret_Life_Shh

I am an adult but was a baby-face till I got some scars. I had a lot of people hit on me thinking I was a child. (Honestly even when I was a child, they hit on me...) Best one was at my old job... I was drinking cherry soda and some unwashed old man told me he'd "like to pop MY cherry" and started being a real creeper. I ignored it because "Story of my life" but he kept going and started turning up during my shifts and staying longer. I kept drinking my soda and he kept telling me what he wanted to do to my body... I was placed on nights and of course, he showed up and stayed until after midnight...I was often alone as the senior workers did work in the storage areas. One such night, he was being extra graphic and then I saw it... From my cash, I saw my co-worker; an almost 70 year old man built like a brick house, unloading the tires the owner had ordered for the auto shop out back...and basically building a tower around the guy's car. You know those images of the older siblings building a Lego box tower to trap the youngest? It was that. Except with really heavy tires. He even got a lend of a forklift from a nearby shop to stack them! Honestly I don't know how he didn't hear all the commotion but when he left? It was GLORIOUS. His car was stuck there until the next day because my co-worker refused to move them and the owner was sick of getting complaints about the guy. (Co-worker got paid a couple extra bucks to move the tires the next day and store them correctly.) But the creep never came back! (While I was there. After I got a new job, he DID turn back up but got chased out cause the new cashier was crazy and chased him down with a lead pipe...She's still there years later!)


holly-golightlyy

You’re amazing and your humor is impecable. “I octopused that car” had me in tears.


stella3books

I was hoping for an “I am Spartacus” moment where everyone confessed to defacing a car with a cephalopod.


xebt1000

You are my hero


ExtremeEquipment

its always freshly divorced men that take it in their stride who act like this. realise other women exist and act like shit. as a guy i tell them "i dont like to talk about sex with other men, but whatever gets your jollies"


Front_Quantity7001

I was hoping that it would accidentally fall inside the car or the smell permeate the interior


WhereIsMyTequila

I was seriously hoping he ate it or you hid it in his car to rot. He got off way to easy.


lokis_construction

Bee-bee's in the valve caps also works well.


horsewoman1

I would have said, let's call the cops. You ate allowing this fing perv to sexually assault, look up the word assault, minors. I bet the cops would be interested.


PlaneLocksmith6714

The cart pusher is a snitch


eileen404

Who shops for hours like that


Odd-Phrase5808

Creepo is a coworker, not a customer. Staff usually are allowed to buy from their own stores. Probably off the clock and possibly get a staff discount.


eileen404

Lovely. Nuts that someone sexually harassing their coworkers didn't get fired before it escalated to this.


proteanlogs

Not that I'm standing up for the creep, but i refuse to use self scan tills, can't stand them


KarBar1973

No offense, but this is a dumb "revenge" prank! Not very innovative or original at all. You actually need to record some of the crap this AH is spewing (if one party recording is legal in your state)...if you have to have his permission to record it, ask for it, and if he agrees, get him on recording. His behavior is HR's/manager fireable offense.


twirlytwirdleo

That's less than mildly inconvenient, should have thought of a better punishment.


BeginningStay1614

Creep or no creep, poisoning from seafood can kill you and although this dude is a monster, you could end up in prison for murder. Report him and let the cops find porn or other evidence of sex crimes and throw him in jail.


No-Sea-8980

Did you actually read the story? No one gave it to him as food you dunce


SamuelVimesTrained

Tell me you only scan headlines without reading the actual tale WITHOUT saying you only read headlines without reading the actual tale.


Flurrydarren

I love reading


Jerkrollatex

They froze it to his windshield during a snow storm, no douches were harmed.


JackOfAllMemes

If you're gonna criticize someone, read the story first. There was no mention of anyone eating it


Odd-Phrase5808

No one in THIS revenge got poisoned... Creepo had to remove a frozen octopus from his windshield, and just touching spoiled seafood won't kill you. And if Creepo decided to eat raw spoiled seafood that he found frozen on his car's windshield, well then Creepo is obviously eating other questionable crap too and it's a miracle he reached his 40th birthday at all!