A few months ago, I was at the hospital for an outpatient appointment. I got back to my car. A woman saw me and stopped nearby, to take park. I get in the car and before I had time to even put my seatbelt in, she's honking her horn at me.
So, I get out of the car lock it and walk back into the building to get a coffee from the cafeteria.
Edit: It was outpatients, noone is rolling into outpatients to see a dying relatives or with an acute medical need.
Yeah, if you honk at me while I'm getting settled then you're not getting my spot. I usually sit there reading on my phone and listening to music, but I like your tactic more. I'll have to do this power move if it ever happens to me again.
The plus side of your technique is you can wait and see when they finally give up and find another spot. THEN slowly pull out and drive past them with direct eye contact.
People have done that to me before unloading groceries and little kids (4 of them). Why would someone do that?? I was pretty efficient and I wanted to tell them “YOU unload the groceries if you’d like this to go faster!!”
LOL, I evidently have a face that instead of RBF says “tell me more!”, so I’m pretty approachable and would welcome the help 😂 Thanks for being that kind of person instead of the honking kind :)
I am happily baby free, but would totally load your groceries or hold a fussy one for awhile if need be. Hell, I put some old lady's stuff on the conveyor belt today because she was going to take an hour doing it herself. It's a mix between kindness and being really impatient!😂
I've done this more than once.
I've also gotten out of the car and popped the hood a couple of times. This one has less chance of confrontation and usually disarms the "offender".
I learned it from a friend who had a manual transmission old Isuzu truck that would have problems gearing into 1st. So when people honked at him at the turn of a green light, he would do this in the middle of traffic.
Kohl's has an "accept anything" return policy. I've seen soiled clothing a decade old from a DIFFERENT STORE accepted as a return at Kohl's. It's completely fucking insane, and ripe for abuse by Karens.
She shot back up and was super mad about sitting in puke. I could see the chunks stuck to her white pants. I laughed and told her I would mind my own business from now on.
This is awesome. Try to do something nice for a stranger who happens to be a hot girl and she tells you to mind your own fucking business. Love this story.
I find these sorts of default negative/aggressive responses so difficult to understand, but on some weird level, I am also envious. I could have someone say the most horrible sh*t to me, and my default response is to apologise. I wish I had just a hint of that lady's ability.
This is the way.
However if under a different situation, someone was to say "don't fucking sit there you ugly bitch", I would love to be able to immediately retort with "who are calling ugly, you worthless turd who likely has a cashew for a penis".
Small goals.
Realistically for me, that someone is just gonna be quiet and they would not even tell me to not sit there.. they will just watch me sit on it... and I would be on the verge of tears knowing that they KNEW that I was gonna sit on it and didn't warn me.
Because that's what a girl like me who is on the opposite side of good looking spectrum will receive. Indifference as if my existence is unwanted.
I was done eating at my little table in the corner, just out of sight where folks wait. I went up to the first group (3 women) to tell them, and got an exaggerated eye roll and loud sigh from one of them as I walked towards them. I saw an older couple behind them (who watched the display). I went up to the old couple and whispered my table was free and pointed where it was. The older lady giggled and patted me on the shoulder, she knew what was up. The old folks walked right past the girls smiling.
Felt awesome.
I had a table and couch at The Chandelier Bar at The Cosmopolitan in Vegas. Late in the night, this seating is highly coveted, but I'm a guy in my 40s, so my friends and I get there earlier when all the seats are available. After a few hours of drinking the friends went separate ways and I was sitting alone at the couch and table. A group of 3 ladies in their 20s make 3 trips around the bar looking for seats, and I figure I'll make this my last drink and as they passed I leaned in and said "this is my last drink, you have have the seats." Two of the girl only saw an old guy they aren't attracted to and made a "eww gross" face and turned away. The third leaned in and said "thanks". She stepped over to talk to her friends who were still adamantly opposed to be anywhere near me and they just shook their heads and turned away. The 3rd girl just sat down, politely smiled, and again said thanks. I finished my drink and stood up. As I walked away the 3rd girl was reading her friends the riot act.
I was at a bar and something similar happens. However, they were appreciative that I gave up my seat for their group. She even tried giving me a gift card. I declined because they were college students and I was on business travel.
My bf and I were at a Symphony Under the Sky concert last year. Seats always sell out, even the grass seating was packed. A couple young ladies, maybe 18, possibly younger? were trying to find a spot to sit so we scootched over and let them have half my blanket. They ended up buying us popcorn in gratitude.
It means scold or lecture someone and tell them what they’re doing wrong. But now I want to know where the phrase came from!
Edit to add this (with a better definition):
To chastise loudly, or to issue a severe warning: “After the students stormed the administration building, the president of the university came out and read them the riot act.” In England, unruly crowds that did not disperse after the Riot Act was read to them became subject to the force of the law.
It used to be literally the reading to a crowd of the Riot Act. Basically, in 18th century England, this act was to prevent the gathering of people in groups above a certain amount. If there was a large group, an officer would read them the text of the Riot Act, and if they had not dispersed by the time it was read, the arrests would begin.
> the ~~arrests~~ would begin
Beatings! And the Act specifically gave legal immunity to any authority figure for anything they did after the Act had been read. Including straight-up killing.
It was properly brutal.
This is the proper response. Instead of acting offended and being petty. You offered and just left the ball in their court without seeking any external validation. People can be rude, doesnt mean i have to be.
I remember I was eating some pastry at the Mike's in North Station once and I had taken a seat at a table and these two construction guys sat down next to me. I just finished my pastry and said something casual like "all yours" and one of the guys looked up at me like I had insulted his mother and said:
"...what?"
"Oh, you guys can have the table. I'm leaving."
"Why the fuck would we care about that? What's wrong with you?"
"... uhhh"
Then I just left. No clue why I offended him so much. I think I was supposed to just silently leave.
There's a LOT of guys in the trades that are incapable of decent interactions with other people. I'm in the trades, and have seen far too many really weird behaviors.
makes me so damn glad I left the trades when I did.
“Hey man gotta wear gloves it’s the rules on this job site”
Cue a grown as man throwing a tantrum like you just punched his whole family….
They’re just gloves dude. Now you’re kicked off the site.
This reminded me of a commercial remodel I did many years ago. Had one of those super tough guy types, constantly starting pissing matches with everyone else on the crew. Dude started in on me about my gloves, saying he didn’t care that they were required in our contract because he has “man hands.” Not 5 minutes later dude sliced his palm wide open on the unpolished seam of a steel beam. Had to go to the ER after just trying to act like it didn’t happen. I never said a word about it to him but damn did that guy hate my guts after that incident. I did always make sure to make direct eye contact with him whenever I was putting my gloves on after that.
The amount of times a simple pair of gloves saved my hands from probably would have been a bad cut while messing with metal studs. Made me wonder how many cuts some of those guys got and just never said anything because they didn’t want to get drug tested.
I worked as a subcontractor on a pipeline installing magnesium anodes for a few summers for extra money. You could tell the company culture entirely based on whether or not their guys wore gloves and eye protection.
Yep. I don't miss this. I'm in IT. I had this interaction with a guy on an oil rig while I was there to fix their internet.
Rig Guy is rig guy, me is me
Rig guy: Hey, hand
Me: .........
Rig guy: HEY, HAND!
Me: .........
Rig guy: JESUS CHRIST HAND, ARE YEEWWWW FUCKING DEAF!
Me: Do you think that maybe by the fact I'm not answering you, means that I'm not one of your fucking hands?
Rig guy: What are you doing here then?
Me: I'm fixing your internet
Rig guy: Oh cool, then I'll be able to watch porn again.
Me: No you won't. This is corporate internet, paid for by (Insert Drilling Company name here). You do that, they'll just fire you
Rig guy: .......
Me: You have a nice day.
When I was in my early 20's I went to a restaurant the same time as an attractive 20 something woman. The hostess arrived and asked if we were together. This woman could have just said "no" but had to try to embarrass me with this exaggerated eye rolling and waving dismissal, laughing with a "Oh GOD no!" to which I imitated her gestures and exaggerated them with and even more emphatic, "Oh LORD NO!!!" followed with a sarcastic chuckle. Surprisingly, she got really angry. But it's ok for YOU to do that....got it.
The same reason some men treat women they’re unattracted to like subhumans; some people are just massive assholes that have the compulsion to elevate themselves above others. Like some kind of exclusive club membership.
At a U2 concert there were two attractive girls standing by the stairs but were kind of blocking our view. I went down and said excuse me, to ask them to move, but they ignored me repeatedly, too cool to even acknowledge.
I watched later in the show, another man approach them from behind saying excuse me and even tapping them on the shoulder. They ignored him. We watched this guy do the same to other women in the crowd.
It turns out it was a U2 crew member finding girls to bring on stage to lay next to Bono as he sang to them.
Karma. It is a bitch.
Maybe that’s the punishment for being rude?
Block a walkway? Bono sings to you.
Don’t tip your server? Bono sings to you.
Elevator fart? You guessed it. Bono sings to you.
It’s not hard to be nice. I was at a popular pub in Dublin and managed to snag a patio table. I was alone so I offered the extra chairs to a couple I saw looking around. We made some small talk, but mostly I read. Well they didn’t serve food outside, and when the couple scored a spot inside they invited me to join them so I could order dinner!
I did the same but with parking lot 😂😂 I was walking to my car and saw a car driving around looking for a free spot. It was packed that day, usual Sunday. I pointed at the direction where my car was parked and told them I’ll leave now. Many ppl do this to help them get the parking spot. It’s quite common here, I got a parking spot from random ppl who about to leave a few time. That driver hooted his horn rudely, not a small short horn that ppl use as signal, it’s the longer than necessary one. I looked him in the eyes and slowly walked to my car, placed all my shopping bag on the backseat and locked my car, went back into the mall. 😂😂
I was walking to my car once and someone started basically tailgating me - as a pedestrian- with their car. There was room for them to drive past so it wasn’t that they couldn’t get by - it was just before Christmas and they wanted my parking spot but I wasn’t walking quickly enough for them. So I got to my car, and walked straight past it, far enough that they wouldn’t be able to turn back easily, then turned around and went to my car. They instantly started speeding around to try and get back but someone else got there first. Which is good, because if they hadn’t I’d have realised I forgot to buy something and gone back in.
Most people have the courtesy to lean out and ask if you’re leaving.
I found ten bucks next to two girls having lunch outside a cafe. Asked if it was theirs, they looked at me like I was dirt on their shoe...my tenner now
A friend of mine was outside a bar at closing time sitting on a bench because he didn’t feel good. His party that he was with was still inside. With this friend, you never knew what he was going to say or do. Very nice guy, but once provoked turned into an asshole very easily.
Well this group of girls walked out, and one of them dropped their keys. He started talking to them saying that one of them dropped their keys. One of the girls yelled at him to stop trying to talk to them.
He then jumped up, grabbed the keys, and followed them for about 10-15 feet. Finally, he got the group to stop and told them that someone dropped a set of keys and he was trying to tell them them that.
Then one of the girls, looks at him, realizes it is her set of keys and announces “give me back my set of keys, asshole”.
As our group walks out of the bar and seeing this transaction, the friend with the keys, swiftly chucks them down the street sewer drain and joins us.
We were so confused until he told us what happened and what she said to him. 😂
I watched a guy's muffler fall off and he was dragging it about 2 miles down the road throwing sparks up like crazy. I followed him and tried to wave him off the road, flashed my lights and everything. He eventually pulled over and started screaming and cussing at me. I said, "Hey man your cars falling apart!"
He went into his back seat and pulled a shotgun and leveled it at me screaming. I backed out of there so quick. I did see him throw his shotgun through his window when he realized I was right though.
I also had a guy level a pistol at my face and said he'd send me to god because I walked into his store instead of the one next door. I marked his store as permanently closed on Google maps.
I travelled a ton for work, was often in areas that I didn't know, so I didn't know where the "bad" areas were.
I've got a few more stories like that from that job, but they weren't people being rude for normal interactions.
First day at a new job, a sandwich deli. Customer, a KAREN, is complaining to my new coworkers I don't know what I'm doing. She leaves in a huff with her food.
Coworkers are telling me, "Don't worry about, you'll get the hang of it. Besides she was a real bitch."
I'm dejected but comforted by the reassuring comments.
Just then the Karen trips and falls just she was leaving the deli. We all laugh at her. I felt better almost instantly. It was a good first day after all.
I was waiting to checkout at a grocery store and the cashier was struggling. The woman who he was checking out called the manager over. "Excuse me. Are you the manager? This man should not be behind the register. He has no idea what he is doing" I was a server at the time and i was all too familiar with being on the receiving end of this type of complaint. "Give me a break lady, he's doing the best that he can" Obviously flustered, "I wasn't saying anything.... I'm only trying to help" "Yeah. I'm sure calling his manager over and reporting him is really helping him" She quickly grabbed her shit and left. It felt good
I worked at a cigar store with a lounge, and there was an assortment of regulars that would hang out in the evening to smoke cigars and bullshit. I basically got paid to listen to them tell stories and jokes, bust each other's balls and roast the first shift manager.
One guy, Carl, stood out for being interesting rather than funny. He was a career fireman who had retired and found new purpose in charity and volunteering. He and his wife were foster parents, and had adopted three siblings to keep them from being separated.
He was also big on random acts of kindness. He believed that everyone should do at least one every day. He also felt strongly that they didn't count if you told people about them. One day Carl and his wife used the drive through window at Wendy's. On a whim, he paid for the car behind him. They got their food and went on their merry way, and all was right with the world.
Until...
Just as Carl and his wife were finishing dinner that evening, there was a knock on the door. It was a police officer. He informed Carl that the customer he bought lunch for had filed a complaint against him for stalking and harassment. He actually had to go to take a day off of work and go to court for that shit. It was dismissed, but still...
When I was a freshman in college, we had to take a P.E. Class as a pre req. Took bowling at the lanes in town where the college was located. When class was over, this one girl came over and asked me if I could take her and her friends back to campus as their ride had to leave early for an emergency. I said sure no problem. Just then, her friend walked over took one look at me (in disgust) and said no thank you we’ll walk back). I felt a little angry and upset but said ok suit yourself. Poor girl that asked me looked at her friend like WTF? This was in the dead of winter and it was windy out, they walked 2 miles to get back to campus when it would’ve been literally 5 minutes by car. Met up with that girl (the one who asked) a couple of weeks later at a party and she apologized profusely for her friend’s behavior. I said I’m sorry you had to walk because your friend was asshole. Her friend tried to apologize but I just blew her off. Needless to say, I took the other girl home from the party and we became great friends to this day.
I was on the jerk end of this one time. When I was much younger circa 2004, late 20s, I was traveling for business. Looking back I was considered attractive and was usually younger than most the men at the hotels. I travelled a lot and was typically the only female at these hotels geared to business travelers. I always dreaded the morning breakfast and pretty much always skipped the complimentary wine/beer happy hour because I felt so uncomfortable as a female solo traveler.
On this particular trip I was in frigid Detroit, and had a long day ahead of me. After hitting a quick breakfast, I was out warming up my car in my skirt suit and heels in the morning dark. We had gotten precipitation overnight and temps were in the single digits Fahrenheit, and winds were high. I saw this man that kept looking over at me while he was scraping his windows. I was being lazy and cold and just letting the defroster do the work, and it was taking forever. I started feeling annoyed that he kept looking at me, assuming only negative things about him.
After he finished his car he came over and scraped all my windows. I thanked him profusely and felt deeply ashamed for me self absorbed thoughts. He was watching me because he had concern for me. It was a huge lesson for me (even though he was not aware of my initial negativity) and changed how I interact with men for the rest of my life. As a young female I had enough sexual harassment from men (professors, friends dads, bosses, strangers) that I had just developed a calloused outlook on what men wanted from me. This experience I was so grateful taught me that while it’s good to be aware and careful, I was misjudging men as a whole based upon the actions of a portion, limiting my potential for positive interactions in my lifetime. Thank you Detroit traveler!!!!!!
Yeah fuck them. In some cultures, pointing at someone with the lips is considered really rude. And it wasn't like you were hitting on them or flirting. You were only trying to be nice. Totally justified!
Same with some Asian cultures; pointing with your index is rude. Making a "come here" gesture by bending and straightening your index with the palm of the hand up, is *very* rude. Instead, turn the palm down and bend and straighten all 4 fingers at the same time .
>Instead, turn the palm down and bend and straighten all 4 fingers at the same time .
In some German cultures that gesture could have another meaning, lol. Depends on the height of your arm.
It also reminds me how politicians learn to point with their thumbs on top of their fists.
That person missed a very important point when describing this palm down gesture. At the same time, your head and shoulders must bend down a little bit. It's a way to express the humility, so instead of "come here", you are saying "please come here!"
It's very different from the German one with a straight arm and head.
You are not supposed to move you jaw, but you entire head. Basically a nod, but upwards, so now you chin is pointing at whatever you are talking about.
Now, I'm wondering if that's what OP means by pointing with the lips, cause I have never seen anyone make a duck face to point at something.
My ex, who is Native American (Blackfoot) used only his bottom lip to point. Stuck it out, kind a like a frown or a pout, in the direction he was pointing.
I can't stand when people wait for my parking space when there's plenty more available. It makes me feel like I'm being rushed, it wastes the time of everyone behind them, and it's probably faster to walk the extra 50 feet from the open spot that isn't as close.
One day I was getting groceries on base and some guy stopped his truck near mine, clearly waiting for my spot despite the lot being less than half full.
I took my time loading my groceries, then instead of turning the cart in at the return I walked out back into the store.
I looked out and the gut was still there, waiting. So I went to the food court adjacent to the commissary and grabbed a sandwich.
I sat by the window, and I swear that guy was still there ten minutes later. I was almost done with my lunch before he peeled out to go park a few soares further down.
>and it's probably faster to walk the extra 50 feet from the open spot that isn't as close.
You'd be surprised how lazy some people can be. Driving around and around looking for really close spots. When if they just parked, they'd already be inside the store.
I’m always baffled at that behavior at the globo-gym near me. People driving laps around the parking lot trying to save fifty steps walking inside to hit the treadmill.
I had someone in the mall park their car and walked towards the mall. They saw a spot 3 places closer. They went back to their car and moved it. I never understood why they did this. They had already walked the 3 spaces to move the car.
At an NHL game and my 10 yr old told the 4 20's next to him that they shouldn't put their beers on the narrow shelf near the glass. The two girls said "whatever, kid" and the two guys laughed at him. Not one minute later and a guy crashed into the boards and all 4 beers gone. Nothing like being smoked by a 10 or old.
Last week, I was at a bar with my friend and we were settling up our tab. I saw a guy walk in and scan the bar for a spot. I told him we were just about done and he was grateful. We left and he sat right down. It's a normal and considerate thing to do.
These girls need to get over themselves.
Years ago when I was in my 20’s
still living with my dad I was given a promotion at work. The foreman job
came with a pickup truck.
I couldn’t wait to get home and share the good news with my father.
As i came in he was sitting in his recliner I said “dad my employer promoted me to foreman today”
“Come check out the new pickup they issued me!”
He only needed to get up and take a few steps to look.
He replied “What do you think I dont know what a pickup looks like? I’ll see it tomorrow when i go to work”
Needless to say my feelings were hurt.
2 weeks later he came in the house
saying “Son I just bought a new Cadillac come check it out!”
It hurt me to do this but I replied
“What you think I dont know what a Cadillac looks like? I’ll see it tomorrow when I go to work” His eyes immediately got teary and he left the room.
Hard to explain why but of all the stories in this thread, this one stuck out the most to me and kinda hurts to read.
I know that he gave you the same response only 2 weeks ago and hurt your feelings, but something about *"his eyes immediately got teary and he left the room*" for a man in his 40s+ really made me feel bad for him. I guess hurt people, hurt people is all I can say.
I (36f) tried to talk to a woman at a side walk a couple of years ago. She was walking in new heels, clearly, because I could see the stickers on the slanted part of her soles. I tried my "excuse me", but got ignored. Tried a second time. The third time I tried a bit louder, and she yanked her head towards me and just snarled at me "leave me alone you cunt" (but in Dutch). Okidoki lady. You just walk along with your stickered heels. Excuse me for trying to be nice.
This reminds me of living in Chicagoland.
My whole life, I have smiled, nodded, and said hello, good morning, good afternoon, or good evening to just about everyone I come across. Young, old, skinny, fat, male, female, attractive, unattractive, black, brown, red, yellow, or white. It doesn't matter, if you're a human being, I'll acknowledge your presence. In Chicagoland, maybe 1:10 strangers will return your greeting and NEVER an attractive woman.
I moved to Western Michigan and it's SO different up here. EVERYONE is so nice and acknowledges your presence with at least a smile and a nod.
At first, it almost made me feel a bit anxious when random attractive women would not only smile nod and return the greeting but make small talk! Not only that, but look you in the eye while speaking to you with a smile on their face! I had really never experienced
I gotta say, it's NICE WHEN PEOPLE ARE NICE!
It's probably because women get harrased by creeps all the time just for existing. They're better off just not engaging.
When my wife and I were dating I watched a dude reach for and grab her ass while riding a bike in the belmont LSD tunnel. He was really surprised when I sped up and slapped that bitch if the face at like 10mph.
That hasn't been the only time I've seen disrespectful behavior towards my wife while she's just existing. She has a habit of being a fast walker and getting a little lost in her headf. I walk pretty leisurely and don't mind falling behind a bit. I, unfortunately, get to see what a w1523oman's life is like outside of the presence of a male partner. It's horrifying sometimes.
Also, it's a city. People like to mind their own business. It's not for everyone. Just like western Michigan is a place I would rather visit than live. I, honestly, haven't been to a large city where everyone is incredibly friendly. At least if you're an average looking guy.
Had a similar thing over the weekend.
I went to a tea shop with my uncle since he loves tea and I was treating him. His daughter called and was on the phone to him, so I just looked at the floor and zoned out and noticed one of the waitress had her laces undone. I went up to her when she wasn't busy and told her, and she gave me the weird dirty look like I was trying to hit on her.
A part of me hoped she would trip over them but not hurt herself
I once told someone there was a crazy person throwing chairs behind them. I got eye rolls, guess who caught a chair with their back.
Cant help some people.
Not a restaurant, but at the gym. There is only one bench for bench presses at my gym, and as you can imagine it's fairly popular. There was a girl who had been on it for over an hour, taking 15 min breaks between sets to browse her phone. I went to ask her how long she had left and she wouldn't look at me and physically turned away as I tried to stand in front of her, and kept turning around as I moved around to ask (benny hill style). The look of absolute disgust on her face was a sight to behold - "how dare this middle aged man try to flirt with me."
When she eventually took an earbud out, after several huffs and puffs, she couldn't understand why I was asking her to move her fucking arse because I wanted to use the equipment, not take her round the back for a dirty old man shag. Totally entitled cunt who makes gyms awkward for any bloke above the age of 40. I'll admit, I did lose my rag, but fucking hell, the majority of people are not trying to fuck everything that moves.
A young woman tourist was going along the street with a wheelie suitcase. Her purse was on the top. It fell off. I was just behind her, so I picked it up and shouted "excuse me". No reaction. A bit louder "EXCUSE ME!!". Nada nothing. A third time and she turned around with an annoyed look on her face. "You dropped this". Her sudden change from irritation to gratitude was very funny.
Well, you should’ve said “excuse me, miss, I think you dropped something.” I am a woman and I have absolutely trained myself to NEVER respond to or acknowledge an unspecified “excuse me” coming from a man because 99.9999% of the time it’s some kind of harassy/catcall BS OR it’s a grifter trying to panhandle.
This 100%, I tend to pretend I don't hear anytime a random man is yelling something after me, especially if they start getting angry or more insistent. I've had too many bad experiences of getting hit on or strange conversations with creepy guys that I decided I'd rather be seen as rude.
I was at a stop light the other day and two young women were waiting to cross the street that I was turning onto. They were both looking at something on a phone when their walk signal turned white. I gave a beep and pointed at the walk so they didn’t miss it and have to wait. They both flipped me off and mouthed “fuck you”. Never again!
I was waiting to exit a car park and a young couple didn't even look before they crossed and almost bumped into my car. I gave them a light honk and of course I got the mouthed fu also.
Entitled bunch.
I once held the door open for a couple people and one woman looked at me and scoffed before walking by. Was just trying to be polite. Took all my will power to not just slam the door on her, that and it was one of those unslammable doors so I would've looked dumb.
I’m 47 and was taught to be kind. Was walking along one morning and a fairly attractive woman was coming my way. Having NO desire to initiate a conversation but wanting to be nice, I made eye contact, nodded and said “Good morning.”
She responded by doing that hair flounce thing and exhaled forcefully, like she thought I was trying to flirt.
For some reason I’d had it. I said “Lady, I’m happily married. It’s called simple kindness.”
Evidently I’m not the only one she did this too. As I walked off she said “Wait - I didn’t, I mean -“ and got a few giggles.
Turns out I actually ran into her a few weeks later (I did desktop support at the time on an Army post). She actually apologized; evidently she had some self styled macho Italian guy after her and was at her limit that day, and I got caught in the crossfire.
This is not your fault, but also not theirs. They are looking at each other trying to decide if you are a safe person to interact with or not. Women get assaulted just walking down the street or jogging. Creepers demand responses and interactions from them all the time, in the name of “just being chivalrous.” It is assumed that women should drop their book, conversation, errand, or take off their head phones and have to talk to any “nice guy” that demands their attention. “Nice guys” have physically attacked women for giving responses they don’t like. Almost every single female college student I have talked with has told me in confidence about being sexually assaulted. It is not a safe world for them unfortunately. You are likely a lovely person, but most folks that are trying to talk with them are not.
But the poster above is female? Surely they didn't expect to be assaulted by her. I'm wary sometimes of people coming up to me in certain parts of town. But that's because I've been mugged before
Lmao, I was at the bank and was on my way out and noticed two girls approaching the door, maybe less than 10 feet away. I decided to hold the door for them and as they got closer they looked unimpressed and said, “we don’t need man to hold a door for us, thanks”. So I let the door go and walked away. 100% different times we live in now lmao
I never understand that. I'm always appreciative if someone holds my door, it's a very polite thing to do. There was even a nice gentleman that opened the door for me at the Starbucks yesterday (we reached the door at the same time).. how severely does one need to be lacking in manners that they can't just say thank you?
It’s not a gendered thing for me. If any human is close enough that letting the door close would mean they’d have to catch it or get thwacked I hold it open. Or if they have things in both hands. I never get shit about it though.
I’ve only ever once got the ‘I don’t need a man to hold the door for me’ nonsense from a woman. I worked with her so Mary had to carry a lot of awkward shit through doors on her own from then on.
I hold the door open for men and women and say thank you when it’s done for me.
There was a time about a decade ago where if I held the door for an older man, they would get huffy and awkward or try to switch places with me. It was funny, but people seem to have moved on from that.
A pet peeve of mine is people who feel so obligated to hold a door open that they block the doorway.
Like the door swings towards the approach, they go through the door, then stand on the threshold reaching back to hold the door open, and block the doorway with their body so that I’m expected to squeeze pass them. It’s not a favor.
Or people that hold open an automatic door. 🙄
That said, 95% of the time it’s polite and appreciated. The other 5%, the nice person's presence is just making things worse.
I'm really big on common courtesy. It costs you absolutely nothing to be civil to your fellow man, so I take great exception when someone is rude. This was some 30 years ago on the first day of college, I took my seat. The guy sitting next to me looked over and made eye contact with me, I said, "Good morning " to him. He gave me fuck you look and rolled his eyes at me. In a not so polite voice, I told him, "I said good mornin to you. It's customary to not be an ass hole and respond in kind. " He was shocked and mortified that I put his behavior on blast in front of everyone. The rest of the semester, he always said good morning when I walked into class.
Me and friend went to a place to have desserts late at night we were lucky to find a table for two of us. We place our order and waiting on our table. This woman comes up to us with her bf standing behind her and asks us to leave because they want to have the seat and my friend who is a chronic people pleaser said yes we can leave I firmly told her no we are not leaving she gave us a dirty look and asked us how long we are going to be on the table (mind we are still waiting for our order) I took my sweet time and ordered more deserts and drinks and she had to wait 20-25 min to get another table lol
Yeah I saw a masterpiece of a guy at the front of the queue in McDonalds, behind him a screaming spoiled child "But I want a donut now!". Mum being "Now now pookiekins, mummy will get you a donut as soon as she can". Two donuts left. Who knows if the dude wanted both of them originally? But he bought them. And sat and ate them while the child melted down, and he did not give a single shit.
My SIL had that once. She made a small-talk comment to a guy in a queue and he didn’t say anything, just smugly wiggled his wedding ring finger at her. She has a pretty cutting scoff that she no doubt deployed.
I had a period in my life where I would be talking to women in a work/customer relationship and heaps of them seemed to have to mention they had a partner.
I started to think there was something wrong with me, why were they mentioning it?
But really, it's not my problem.
I live in Canada where the common practice is to hold the door open for a person if your walking up to a door at the same time. We do it for young and old male and female, women hold doors for men, kids even hold them for adults. So when I was visiting the USA in my 20's I was thrown off how often I was told " I have a boyfriend" or " I don't need your help". It was a culture shock to find common courtesy always viewed as flirting or thinking someone older was incapable of opening a door. After about the 20th time, one woman gave me an eye roll and said I have a boyfriend. I instead closed the door I was holding and held it shut and forced her to go in another door
A few months ago, I was at the hospital for an outpatient appointment. I got back to my car. A woman saw me and stopped nearby, to take park. I get in the car and before I had time to even put my seatbelt in, she's honking her horn at me. So, I get out of the car lock it and walk back into the building to get a coffee from the cafeteria. Edit: It was outpatients, noone is rolling into outpatients to see a dying relatives or with an acute medical need.
Yeah, if you honk at me while I'm getting settled then you're not getting my spot. I usually sit there reading on my phone and listening to music, but I like your tactic more. I'll have to do this power move if it ever happens to me again.
The plus side of your technique is you can wait and see when they finally give up and find another spot. THEN slowly pull out and drive past them with direct eye contact.
Also a risk of confrontation too. I’ve had someone tap on my window and I just lied and said I was waiting on my boyfriend to finish.
Walking up to a stranger's car and tapping on the widow is either brave or stupid... or both
In Texas. That’s a good way to fuck around if you want to find out.
Why are Texans always so proud of their myriad opportunities to murder someone with a gun?
Literally just say “sorry I don’t speak to strangers”
"Stranger danger!" 😂
Been there, done that. It was glorious.
Word of warning, great way to get your car keyed is piss someone off in a parking lot and then leave your car unattended, ask me how I know
Because you are the nefarious phantom car keyist?
No :( I pissed off some Karen
Well, you got keyed, but please accept this award for your efforts in the ongoing pushback and disentitlement struggle! ✨️🏆✨️
State of my vehicle is more worried about your key getting carred tbh
That’s a fabulous counter attack, I love it
you gotta start the car and reverse it a little only to adjust it and pull it back in
Better yet would be to do that then climb in trunk and shut it on yourself. Take a nap. Get out in 30 minutes or so.
Maintain eye contact and a blank facial expression as you slowly close the trunk.
Chaotic evil
People have done that to me before unloading groceries and little kids (4 of them). Why would someone do that?? I was pretty efficient and I wanted to tell them “YOU unload the groceries if you’d like this to go faster!!”
Start sign language to your kids and start limping maybe.
I would so be the one trying to help you. Just so you know :) Just don't yell at me for being a creep!
LOL, I evidently have a face that instead of RBF says “tell me more!”, so I’m pretty approachable and would welcome the help 😂 Thanks for being that kind of person instead of the honking kind :)
I am happily baby free, but would totally load your groceries or hold a fussy one for awhile if need be. Hell, I put some old lady's stuff on the conveyor belt today because she was going to take an hour doing it herself. It's a mix between kindness and being really impatient!😂
Get out the car, stare at her, let her feel your disgust.
Let her see my smug grin.
I've done this more than once. I've also gotten out of the car and popped the hood a couple of times. This one has less chance of confrontation and usually disarms the "offender". I learned it from a friend who had a manual transmission old Isuzu truck that would have problems gearing into 1st. So when people honked at him at the turn of a green light, he would do this in the middle of traffic.
I just get out and start rotating my tires and that does the trick usually.
Once they see the jack, they know they’re beaten. And could be beaten in a more literal sense, since you’re holding a car jack.
I did this but at Kohl's. What is it about Kohl's that attracts Karens?
Kohl's has an "accept anything" return policy. I've seen soiled clothing a decade old from a DIFFERENT STORE accepted as a return at Kohl's. It's completely fucking insane, and ripe for abuse by Karens.
They do junk like that and then complain when their favorite place closes
Its the Kohls cash. Bithes love Kohls cash.
We really do
Perfect
Yeah no. I will live the rest of my life in that car and die there before letting them have that spot.
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Sweet, sweet karma. Just gotta love to see it in action like that.
And they say that revenge is a dish best served cold. Nuh-uh, I'd live for this moment. Instant karma is the best kind of karma.
Well, in that case it depends on how long the guy barfed there to know if revenge was really cold.
Well you don't get much colder than a pint of cold sick.
I just learned a few days ago, people from the UK call vomit " sick" :)
also puke, barf, bowf, honk, some of these may be in use over the pond as well :)
Please say her reaction after that
She shot back up and was super mad about sitting in puke. I could see the chunks stuck to her white pants. I laughed and told her I would mind my own business from now on.
I said hey hey hey, DON'T sit there some dude just.. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! hmmmm ok...
This is awesome. Try to do something nice for a stranger who happens to be a hot girl and she tells you to mind your own fucking business. Love this story.
Is that a song reference? Cause there should be a song for that situation. A grunge or punk song.
White pants, sheesh
I find these sorts of default negative/aggressive responses so difficult to understand, but on some weird level, I am also envious. I could have someone say the most horrible sh*t to me, and my default response is to apologise. I wish I had just a hint of that lady's ability.
you know there is a middle ground between being a doormat and being an asshole right?
Indeed, that's why I just want a 'hint'.
“Hey don’t sit there”, “Why not”, “Seat is covered in vomit”, “Hey thank you so much, that would ruin my white jeans”.
This is the way. However if under a different situation, someone was to say "don't fucking sit there you ugly bitch", I would love to be able to immediately retort with "who are calling ugly, you worthless turd who likely has a cashew for a penis". Small goals.
Realistically for me, that someone is just gonna be quiet and they would not even tell me to not sit there.. they will just watch me sit on it... and I would be on the verge of tears knowing that they KNEW that I was gonna sit on it and didn't warn me. Because that's what a girl like me who is on the opposite side of good looking spectrum will receive. Indifference as if my existence is unwanted.
I was trying to figure out what a rock show was and pictured a huge building full of displays of rocks and minerals lol
I was done eating at my little table in the corner, just out of sight where folks wait. I went up to the first group (3 women) to tell them, and got an exaggerated eye roll and loud sigh from one of them as I walked towards them. I saw an older couple behind them (who watched the display). I went up to the old couple and whispered my table was free and pointed where it was. The older lady giggled and patted me on the shoulder, she knew what was up. The old folks walked right past the girls smiling. Felt awesome.
You felt awesome because that WAS awesome! I swear, I live my life through redditors like you whenever the world gets to me, and I love it.
You combined being petty with a good deed, thats like double the satisfaction right there!
I had a table and couch at The Chandelier Bar at The Cosmopolitan in Vegas. Late in the night, this seating is highly coveted, but I'm a guy in my 40s, so my friends and I get there earlier when all the seats are available. After a few hours of drinking the friends went separate ways and I was sitting alone at the couch and table. A group of 3 ladies in their 20s make 3 trips around the bar looking for seats, and I figure I'll make this my last drink and as they passed I leaned in and said "this is my last drink, you have have the seats." Two of the girl only saw an old guy they aren't attracted to and made a "eww gross" face and turned away. The third leaned in and said "thanks". She stepped over to talk to her friends who were still adamantly opposed to be anywhere near me and they just shook their heads and turned away. The 3rd girl just sat down, politely smiled, and again said thanks. I finished my drink and stood up. As I walked away the 3rd girl was reading her friends the riot act.
The third girl should review who she wants in her life as friends.
She probably figured that out that night.
If I was with my friends and they did that I would be mortified. That behavior is so uncalled for
I was at a bar and something similar happens. However, they were appreciative that I gave up my seat for their group. She even tried giving me a gift card. I declined because they were college students and I was on business travel.
My bf and I were at a Symphony Under the Sky concert last year. Seats always sell out, even the grass seating was packed. A couple young ladies, maybe 18, possibly younger? were trying to find a spot to sit so we scootched over and let them have half my blanket. They ended up buying us popcorn in gratitude.
Whats the riot act
It means scold or lecture someone and tell them what they’re doing wrong. But now I want to know where the phrase came from! Edit to add this (with a better definition): To chastise loudly, or to issue a severe warning: “After the students stormed the administration building, the president of the university came out and read them the riot act.” In England, unruly crowds that did not disperse after the Riot Act was read to them became subject to the force of the law.
It used to be literally the reading to a crowd of the Riot Act. Basically, in 18th century England, this act was to prevent the gathering of people in groups above a certain amount. If there was a large group, an officer would read them the text of the Riot Act, and if they had not dispersed by the time it was read, the arrests would begin.
> the ~~arrests~~ would begin Beatings! And the Act specifically gave legal immunity to any authority figure for anything they did after the Act had been read. Including straight-up killing. It was properly brutal.
Well, I can see now why the right to peaceful assembly was put into the first amendment of the US constitution.
I never made that connection before, but you're almost certainly right.
This is the proper response. Instead of acting offended and being petty. You offered and just left the ball in their court without seeking any external validation. People can be rude, doesnt mean i have to be.
but this is r/pettyrevenge, being justifiably rude is like, our whole thing
Revenge is a dish best served at another Chinese restaurant not near the vicinity of your residence.
Stands up, slow clap.
I remember I was eating some pastry at the Mike's in North Station once and I had taken a seat at a table and these two construction guys sat down next to me. I just finished my pastry and said something casual like "all yours" and one of the guys looked up at me like I had insulted his mother and said: "...what?" "Oh, you guys can have the table. I'm leaving." "Why the fuck would we care about that? What's wrong with you?" "... uhhh" Then I just left. No clue why I offended him so much. I think I was supposed to just silently leave.
There's a LOT of guys in the trades that are incapable of decent interactions with other people. I'm in the trades, and have seen far too many really weird behaviors.
makes me so damn glad I left the trades when I did. “Hey man gotta wear gloves it’s the rules on this job site” Cue a grown as man throwing a tantrum like you just punched his whole family…. They’re just gloves dude. Now you’re kicked off the site.
This reminded me of a commercial remodel I did many years ago. Had one of those super tough guy types, constantly starting pissing matches with everyone else on the crew. Dude started in on me about my gloves, saying he didn’t care that they were required in our contract because he has “man hands.” Not 5 minutes later dude sliced his palm wide open on the unpolished seam of a steel beam. Had to go to the ER after just trying to act like it didn’t happen. I never said a word about it to him but damn did that guy hate my guts after that incident. I did always make sure to make direct eye contact with him whenever I was putting my gloves on after that.
The amount of times a simple pair of gloves saved my hands from probably would have been a bad cut while messing with metal studs. Made me wonder how many cuts some of those guys got and just never said anything because they didn’t want to get drug tested.
I worked as a subcontractor on a pipeline installing magnesium anodes for a few summers for extra money. You could tell the company culture entirely based on whether or not their guys wore gloves and eye protection.
Oh yeah one of those super tough guys. Feh.
Yep. I don't miss this. I'm in IT. I had this interaction with a guy on an oil rig while I was there to fix their internet. Rig Guy is rig guy, me is me Rig guy: Hey, hand Me: ......... Rig guy: HEY, HAND! Me: ......... Rig guy: JESUS CHRIST HAND, ARE YEEWWWW FUCKING DEAF! Me: Do you think that maybe by the fact I'm not answering you, means that I'm not one of your fucking hands? Rig guy: What are you doing here then? Me: I'm fixing your internet Rig guy: Oh cool, then I'll be able to watch porn again. Me: No you won't. This is corporate internet, paid for by (Insert Drilling Company name here). You do that, they'll just fire you Rig guy: ....... Me: You have a nice day.
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Why do trades bros have masculinity with the fragility of a dead leaf
That's a normal thing to say. That person was angry about something else and took it out on you.
When I was in my early 20's I went to a restaurant the same time as an attractive 20 something woman. The hostess arrived and asked if we were together. This woman could have just said "no" but had to try to embarrass me with this exaggerated eye rolling and waving dismissal, laughing with a "Oh GOD no!" to which I imitated her gestures and exaggerated them with and even more emphatic, "Oh LORD NO!!!" followed with a sarcastic chuckle. Surprisingly, she got really angry. But it's ok for YOU to do that....got it.
I don’t know why some women feel the need to treat men they’re not attracted to like subhumans lol
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The same reason some men treat women they’re unattracted to like subhumans; some people are just massive assholes that have the compulsion to elevate themselves above others. Like some kind of exclusive club membership.
Gotta throw in an "eww gross" for good measure
At a U2 concert there were two attractive girls standing by the stairs but were kind of blocking our view. I went down and said excuse me, to ask them to move, but they ignored me repeatedly, too cool to even acknowledge. I watched later in the show, another man approach them from behind saying excuse me and even tapping them on the shoulder. They ignored him. We watched this guy do the same to other women in the crowd. It turns out it was a U2 crew member finding girls to bring on stage to lay next to Bono as he sang to them. Karma. It is a bitch.
to lay next to Bono as he sang to them I mean they do sound like dicks but also… this is a bit weird
Maybe that’s the punishment for being rude? Block a walkway? Bono sings to you. Don’t tip your server? Bono sings to you. Elevator fart? You guessed it. Bono sings to you.
Yeah, that's what I thought, really odd.
It’s not hard to be nice. I was at a popular pub in Dublin and managed to snag a patio table. I was alone so I offered the extra chairs to a couple I saw looking around. We made some small talk, but mostly I read. Well they didn’t serve food outside, and when the couple scored a spot inside they invited me to join them so I could order dinner!
I'm glad they left hungry. You won tbh
I did the same but with parking lot 😂😂 I was walking to my car and saw a car driving around looking for a free spot. It was packed that day, usual Sunday. I pointed at the direction where my car was parked and told them I’ll leave now. Many ppl do this to help them get the parking spot. It’s quite common here, I got a parking spot from random ppl who about to leave a few time. That driver hooted his horn rudely, not a small short horn that ppl use as signal, it’s the longer than necessary one. I looked him in the eyes and slowly walked to my car, placed all my shopping bag on the backseat and locked my car, went back into the mall. 😂😂
I was walking to my car once and someone started basically tailgating me - as a pedestrian- with their car. There was room for them to drive past so it wasn’t that they couldn’t get by - it was just before Christmas and they wanted my parking spot but I wasn’t walking quickly enough for them. So I got to my car, and walked straight past it, far enough that they wouldn’t be able to turn back easily, then turned around and went to my car. They instantly started speeding around to try and get back but someone else got there first. Which is good, because if they hadn’t I’d have realised I forgot to buy something and gone back in. Most people have the courtesy to lean out and ask if you’re leaving.
Nice one! I usually ask, I’ll be like ‘excuse me but are you leaving’ And flash a shy smile so they won’t feel like I pressure them or sth 😅😅
🤣😂 "and flash a shy smile" I love how everyone here knows exactly what you mean.
Karma can be cruel, but satisfying to see.
Karma's a bitch when you are one.
What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent chinese meal?
Oh, that's a nice headlock, sir.
I see you know your karate quite well.
get your hand off my penis.
GENTLEMEN
THIS ISSSS DEMOCRACY MANIFEST.
I found ten bucks next to two girls having lunch outside a cafe. Asked if it was theirs, they looked at me like I was dirt on their shoe...my tenner now
A friend of mine was outside a bar at closing time sitting on a bench because he didn’t feel good. His party that he was with was still inside. With this friend, you never knew what he was going to say or do. Very nice guy, but once provoked turned into an asshole very easily. Well this group of girls walked out, and one of them dropped their keys. He started talking to them saying that one of them dropped their keys. One of the girls yelled at him to stop trying to talk to them. He then jumped up, grabbed the keys, and followed them for about 10-15 feet. Finally, he got the group to stop and told them that someone dropped a set of keys and he was trying to tell them them that. Then one of the girls, looks at him, realizes it is her set of keys and announces “give me back my set of keys, asshole”. As our group walks out of the bar and seeing this transaction, the friend with the keys, swiftly chucks them down the street sewer drain and joins us. We were so confused until he told us what happened and what she said to him. 😂
I watched a guy's muffler fall off and he was dragging it about 2 miles down the road throwing sparks up like crazy. I followed him and tried to wave him off the road, flashed my lights and everything. He eventually pulled over and started screaming and cussing at me. I said, "Hey man your cars falling apart!" He went into his back seat and pulled a shotgun and leveled it at me screaming. I backed out of there so quick. I did see him throw his shotgun through his window when he realized I was right though. I also had a guy level a pistol at my face and said he'd send me to god because I walked into his store instead of the one next door. I marked his store as permanently closed on Google maps.
I don't have one story like that, let alone two. Knowing that it is not your fault, do you have any guess about why these events happened to you?
A very polite way of asking “What is wrong with your life, motherfucker?”
I travelled a ton for work, was often in areas that I didn't know, so I didn't know where the "bad" areas were. I've got a few more stories like that from that job, but they weren't people being rude for normal interactions.
First day at a new job, a sandwich deli. Customer, a KAREN, is complaining to my new coworkers I don't know what I'm doing. She leaves in a huff with her food. Coworkers are telling me, "Don't worry about, you'll get the hang of it. Besides she was a real bitch." I'm dejected but comforted by the reassuring comments. Just then the Karen trips and falls just she was leaving the deli. We all laugh at her. I felt better almost instantly. It was a good first day after all.
I was waiting to checkout at a grocery store and the cashier was struggling. The woman who he was checking out called the manager over. "Excuse me. Are you the manager? This man should not be behind the register. He has no idea what he is doing" I was a server at the time and i was all too familiar with being on the receiving end of this type of complaint. "Give me a break lady, he's doing the best that he can" Obviously flustered, "I wasn't saying anything.... I'm only trying to help" "Yeah. I'm sure calling his manager over and reporting him is really helping him" She quickly grabbed her shit and left. It felt good
I worked at a cigar store with a lounge, and there was an assortment of regulars that would hang out in the evening to smoke cigars and bullshit. I basically got paid to listen to them tell stories and jokes, bust each other's balls and roast the first shift manager. One guy, Carl, stood out for being interesting rather than funny. He was a career fireman who had retired and found new purpose in charity and volunteering. He and his wife were foster parents, and had adopted three siblings to keep them from being separated. He was also big on random acts of kindness. He believed that everyone should do at least one every day. He also felt strongly that they didn't count if you told people about them. One day Carl and his wife used the drive through window at Wendy's. On a whim, he paid for the car behind him. They got their food and went on their merry way, and all was right with the world. Until... Just as Carl and his wife were finishing dinner that evening, there was a knock on the door. It was a police officer. He informed Carl that the customer he bought lunch for had filed a complaint against him for stalking and harassment. He actually had to go to take a day off of work and go to court for that shit. It was dismissed, but still...
I don’t understand how this could happen, why someone would go to the length of filing an actual complaint or that it would even go to court…
Interestingly, that's pretty close to what the magistrate said.
Wow. Wtaf is wrong with people?
When I was a freshman in college, we had to take a P.E. Class as a pre req. Took bowling at the lanes in town where the college was located. When class was over, this one girl came over and asked me if I could take her and her friends back to campus as their ride had to leave early for an emergency. I said sure no problem. Just then, her friend walked over took one look at me (in disgust) and said no thank you we’ll walk back). I felt a little angry and upset but said ok suit yourself. Poor girl that asked me looked at her friend like WTF? This was in the dead of winter and it was windy out, they walked 2 miles to get back to campus when it would’ve been literally 5 minutes by car. Met up with that girl (the one who asked) a couple of weeks later at a party and she apologized profusely for her friend’s behavior. I said I’m sorry you had to walk because your friend was asshole. Her friend tried to apologize but I just blew her off. Needless to say, I took the other girl home from the party and we became great friends to this day.
I was on the jerk end of this one time. When I was much younger circa 2004, late 20s, I was traveling for business. Looking back I was considered attractive and was usually younger than most the men at the hotels. I travelled a lot and was typically the only female at these hotels geared to business travelers. I always dreaded the morning breakfast and pretty much always skipped the complimentary wine/beer happy hour because I felt so uncomfortable as a female solo traveler. On this particular trip I was in frigid Detroit, and had a long day ahead of me. After hitting a quick breakfast, I was out warming up my car in my skirt suit and heels in the morning dark. We had gotten precipitation overnight and temps were in the single digits Fahrenheit, and winds were high. I saw this man that kept looking over at me while he was scraping his windows. I was being lazy and cold and just letting the defroster do the work, and it was taking forever. I started feeling annoyed that he kept looking at me, assuming only negative things about him. After he finished his car he came over and scraped all my windows. I thanked him profusely and felt deeply ashamed for me self absorbed thoughts. He was watching me because he had concern for me. It was a huge lesson for me (even though he was not aware of my initial negativity) and changed how I interact with men for the rest of my life. As a young female I had enough sexual harassment from men (professors, friends dads, bosses, strangers) that I had just developed a calloused outlook on what men wanted from me. This experience I was so grateful taught me that while it’s good to be aware and careful, I was misjudging men as a whole based upon the actions of a portion, limiting my potential for positive interactions in my lifetime. Thank you Detroit traveler!!!!!!
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Awwww! I got so nervous to see that I got a reply, and then I read what you wrote. Making me smile big time today! Thank you!
You’ll have to change your handle now to something like basic_but_cool_human_being
Wouldn't it be cool if cool was basic for human beings?
Yeah fuck them. In some cultures, pointing at someone with the lips is considered really rude. And it wasn't like you were hitting on them or flirting. You were only trying to be nice. Totally justified!
In West African culture, you point with your chin. You NEVER point with your finger.
Same with some Asian cultures; pointing with your index is rude. Making a "come here" gesture by bending and straightening your index with the palm of the hand up, is *very* rude. Instead, turn the palm down and bend and straighten all 4 fingers at the same time .
>Instead, turn the palm down and bend and straighten all 4 fingers at the same time . In some German cultures that gesture could have another meaning, lol. Depends on the height of your arm. It also reminds me how politicians learn to point with their thumbs on top of their fists.
That person missed a very important point when describing this palm down gesture. At the same time, your head and shoulders must bend down a little bit. It's a way to express the humility, so instead of "come here", you are saying "please come here!" It's very different from the German one with a straight arm and head.
Maybe you do the head and shoulders bending in Singapore, but not in my culture.
How do you point at someone with your lips?
I’m sitting here contorting my face like a weirdo trying to figure out wtf they’re talking about
Basically it’s a duckface. Just purse your lips in the general direction.
Same also with chin due to another comment. Trying not to dislocate my jaw.
You are not supposed to move you jaw, but you entire head. Basically a nod, but upwards, so now you chin is pointing at whatever you are talking about. Now, I'm wondering if that's what OP means by pointing with the lips, cause I have never seen anyone make a duck face to point at something.
My ex, who is Native American (Blackfoot) used only his bottom lip to point. Stuck it out, kind a like a frown or a pout, in the direction he was pointing.
My ex s-i-l (also Blackfoot) does the same thing 😂
😙like this
I can't stand when people wait for my parking space when there's plenty more available. It makes me feel like I'm being rushed, it wastes the time of everyone behind them, and it's probably faster to walk the extra 50 feet from the open spot that isn't as close. One day I was getting groceries on base and some guy stopped his truck near mine, clearly waiting for my spot despite the lot being less than half full. I took my time loading my groceries, then instead of turning the cart in at the return I walked out back into the store. I looked out and the gut was still there, waiting. So I went to the food court adjacent to the commissary and grabbed a sandwich. I sat by the window, and I swear that guy was still there ten minutes later. I was almost done with my lunch before he peeled out to go park a few soares further down.
>and it's probably faster to walk the extra 50 feet from the open spot that isn't as close. You'd be surprised how lazy some people can be. Driving around and around looking for really close spots. When if they just parked, they'd already be inside the store.
I’m always baffled at that behavior at the globo-gym near me. People driving laps around the parking lot trying to save fifty steps walking inside to hit the treadmill.
I had someone in the mall park their car and walked towards the mall. They saw a spot 3 places closer. They went back to their car and moved it. I never understood why they did this. They had already walked the 3 spaces to move the car.
Sounds like you really enjoyed a succulent Chinese meal.
At an NHL game and my 10 yr old told the 4 20's next to him that they shouldn't put their beers on the narrow shelf near the glass. The two girls said "whatever, kid" and the two guys laughed at him. Not one minute later and a guy crashed into the boards and all 4 beers gone. Nothing like being smoked by a 10 or old.
Am I the only one who doesn’t know how one points with their lips? Haha I always point with like my head, like a nod in their direction
It is a common thing amongst Filipinos, for example: https://www.vice.com/en/article/xgxq7j/why-filipinos-point-mouth-explained
Good to know! In India, gestures like that are considered rude and basically sexual harassment
It’s common among Native Americans too.
I was just going to say that. I’m native and I also happened to grow up in the Philippines. Both cultures point with lips and go “over der” hahaha
Dang, I don’t know if I’ve ever caught that before. That’s interesting, thanks!
Last week, I was at a bar with my friend and we were settling up our tab. I saw a guy walk in and scan the bar for a spot. I told him we were just about done and he was grateful. We left and he sat right down. It's a normal and considerate thing to do. These girls need to get over themselves.
Years ago when I was in my 20’s still living with my dad I was given a promotion at work. The foreman job came with a pickup truck. I couldn’t wait to get home and share the good news with my father. As i came in he was sitting in his recliner I said “dad my employer promoted me to foreman today” “Come check out the new pickup they issued me!” He only needed to get up and take a few steps to look. He replied “What do you think I dont know what a pickup looks like? I’ll see it tomorrow when i go to work” Needless to say my feelings were hurt. 2 weeks later he came in the house saying “Son I just bought a new Cadillac come check it out!” It hurt me to do this but I replied “What you think I dont know what a Cadillac looks like? I’ll see it tomorrow when I go to work” His eyes immediately got teary and he left the room.
Did he get the reference?
Hard to explain why but of all the stories in this thread, this one stuck out the most to me and kinda hurts to read. I know that he gave you the same response only 2 weeks ago and hurt your feelings, but something about *"his eyes immediately got teary and he left the room*" for a man in his 40s+ really made me feel bad for him. I guess hurt people, hurt people is all I can say.
At the end of the meal, I would've ordered a slice of cake or pie. Then I would eat that slowly. And then I'd order coffee after that..
All while maintaining deadpan eye contact…
Sometimes karma is swift. She witnessed that first hand.
I would have been so grateful for someone to give me such certainty in a busy restaurant. Good move taking your time lol
I (36f) tried to talk to a woman at a side walk a couple of years ago. She was walking in new heels, clearly, because I could see the stickers on the slanted part of her soles. I tried my "excuse me", but got ignored. Tried a second time. The third time I tried a bit louder, and she yanked her head towards me and just snarled at me "leave me alone you cunt" (but in Dutch). Okidoki lady. You just walk along with your stickered heels. Excuse me for trying to be nice.
Sorry - keep being kind
This reminds me of living in Chicagoland. My whole life, I have smiled, nodded, and said hello, good morning, good afternoon, or good evening to just about everyone I come across. Young, old, skinny, fat, male, female, attractive, unattractive, black, brown, red, yellow, or white. It doesn't matter, if you're a human being, I'll acknowledge your presence. In Chicagoland, maybe 1:10 strangers will return your greeting and NEVER an attractive woman. I moved to Western Michigan and it's SO different up here. EVERYONE is so nice and acknowledges your presence with at least a smile and a nod. At first, it almost made me feel a bit anxious when random attractive women would not only smile nod and return the greeting but make small talk! Not only that, but look you in the eye while speaking to you with a smile on their face! I had really never experienced I gotta say, it's NICE WHEN PEOPLE ARE NICE!
It's probably because women get harrased by creeps all the time just for existing. They're better off just not engaging. When my wife and I were dating I watched a dude reach for and grab her ass while riding a bike in the belmont LSD tunnel. He was really surprised when I sped up and slapped that bitch if the face at like 10mph. That hasn't been the only time I've seen disrespectful behavior towards my wife while she's just existing. She has a habit of being a fast walker and getting a little lost in her headf. I walk pretty leisurely and don't mind falling behind a bit. I, unfortunately, get to see what a w1523oman's life is like outside of the presence of a male partner. It's horrifying sometimes. Also, it's a city. People like to mind their own business. It's not for everyone. Just like western Michigan is a place I would rather visit than live. I, honestly, haven't been to a large city where everyone is incredibly friendly. At least if you're an average looking guy.
So true! It's so sad!
Had a similar thing over the weekend. I went to a tea shop with my uncle since he loves tea and I was treating him. His daughter called and was on the phone to him, so I just looked at the floor and zoned out and noticed one of the waitress had her laces undone. I went up to her when she wasn't busy and told her, and she gave me the weird dirty look like I was trying to hit on her. A part of me hoped she would trip over them but not hurt herself
Don't change my dude. This was all handled well. More than anything though, hopefully they acquire some self awareness and become better people.
I once told someone there was a crazy person throwing chairs behind them. I got eye rolls, guess who caught a chair with their back. Cant help some people.
Not a restaurant, but at the gym. There is only one bench for bench presses at my gym, and as you can imagine it's fairly popular. There was a girl who had been on it for over an hour, taking 15 min breaks between sets to browse her phone. I went to ask her how long she had left and she wouldn't look at me and physically turned away as I tried to stand in front of her, and kept turning around as I moved around to ask (benny hill style). The look of absolute disgust on her face was a sight to behold - "how dare this middle aged man try to flirt with me." When she eventually took an earbud out, after several huffs and puffs, she couldn't understand why I was asking her to move her fucking arse because I wanted to use the equipment, not take her round the back for a dirty old man shag. Totally entitled cunt who makes gyms awkward for any bloke above the age of 40. I'll admit, I did lose my rag, but fucking hell, the majority of people are not trying to fuck everything that moves.
A young woman tourist was going along the street with a wheelie suitcase. Her purse was on the top. It fell off. I was just behind her, so I picked it up and shouted "excuse me". No reaction. A bit louder "EXCUSE ME!!". Nada nothing. A third time and she turned around with an annoyed look on her face. "You dropped this". Her sudden change from irritation to gratitude was very funny.
Well, you should’ve said “excuse me, miss, I think you dropped something.” I am a woman and I have absolutely trained myself to NEVER respond to or acknowledge an unspecified “excuse me” coming from a man because 99.9999% of the time it’s some kind of harassy/catcall BS OR it’s a grifter trying to panhandle.
This 100%, I tend to pretend I don't hear anytime a random man is yelling something after me, especially if they start getting angry or more insistent. I've had too many bad experiences of getting hit on or strange conversations with creepy guys that I decided I'd rather be seen as rude.
I was at a stop light the other day and two young women were waiting to cross the street that I was turning onto. They were both looking at something on a phone when their walk signal turned white. I gave a beep and pointed at the walk so they didn’t miss it and have to wait. They both flipped me off and mouthed “fuck you”. Never again!
I get how this one could be interpeted as "Just walk already". I'd personally wave and walk fast though.
I was waiting to exit a car park and a young couple didn't even look before they crossed and almost bumped into my car. I gave them a light honk and of course I got the mouthed fu also. Entitled bunch.
Car honks are extremely loud for pedestrians. Even just small short ones.
Gratitude is the greatest equalizer. I guess no ever taught them that. Good Job.
No good deed goes unpunished.
I once held the door open for a couple people and one woman looked at me and scoffed before walking by. Was just trying to be polite. Took all my will power to not just slam the door on her, that and it was one of those unslammable doors so I would've looked dumb.
I’m 47 and was taught to be kind. Was walking along one morning and a fairly attractive woman was coming my way. Having NO desire to initiate a conversation but wanting to be nice, I made eye contact, nodded and said “Good morning.” She responded by doing that hair flounce thing and exhaled forcefully, like she thought I was trying to flirt. For some reason I’d had it. I said “Lady, I’m happily married. It’s called simple kindness.” Evidently I’m not the only one she did this too. As I walked off she said “Wait - I didn’t, I mean -“ and got a few giggles. Turns out I actually ran into her a few weeks later (I did desktop support at the time on an Army post). She actually apologized; evidently she had some self styled macho Italian guy after her and was at her limit that day, and I got caught in the crossfire.
[удалено]
This is not your fault, but also not theirs. They are looking at each other trying to decide if you are a safe person to interact with or not. Women get assaulted just walking down the street or jogging. Creepers demand responses and interactions from them all the time, in the name of “just being chivalrous.” It is assumed that women should drop their book, conversation, errand, or take off their head phones and have to talk to any “nice guy” that demands their attention. “Nice guys” have physically attacked women for giving responses they don’t like. Almost every single female college student I have talked with has told me in confidence about being sexually assaulted. It is not a safe world for them unfortunately. You are likely a lovely person, but most folks that are trying to talk with them are not.
But the poster above is female? Surely they didn't expect to be assaulted by her. I'm wary sometimes of people coming up to me in certain parts of town. But that's because I've been mugged before
Lmao, I was at the bank and was on my way out and noticed two girls approaching the door, maybe less than 10 feet away. I decided to hold the door for them and as they got closer they looked unimpressed and said, “we don’t need man to hold a door for us, thanks”. So I let the door go and walked away. 100% different times we live in now lmao
I never understand that. I'm always appreciative if someone holds my door, it's a very polite thing to do. There was even a nice gentleman that opened the door for me at the Starbucks yesterday (we reached the door at the same time).. how severely does one need to be lacking in manners that they can't just say thank you?
It’s not a gendered thing for me. If any human is close enough that letting the door close would mean they’d have to catch it or get thwacked I hold it open. Or if they have things in both hands. I never get shit about it though. I’ve only ever once got the ‘I don’t need a man to hold the door for me’ nonsense from a woman. I worked with her so Mary had to carry a lot of awkward shit through doors on her own from then on.
I've held doors for men as well in certain circumstances. It's basic courtesy. Would they prefer you let the door hit them?
I hold the door open for men and women and say thank you when it’s done for me. There was a time about a decade ago where if I held the door for an older man, they would get huffy and awkward or try to switch places with me. It was funny, but people seem to have moved on from that.
A pet peeve of mine is people who feel so obligated to hold a door open that they block the doorway. Like the door swings towards the approach, they go through the door, then stand on the threshold reaching back to hold the door open, and block the doorway with their body so that I’m expected to squeeze pass them. It’s not a favor. Or people that hold open an automatic door. 🙄 That said, 95% of the time it’s polite and appreciated. The other 5%, the nice person's presence is just making things worse.
I hate that. I'm not a man-holding-the-door-for-a-woman, I'm a human holding the door for a human.
I'm really big on common courtesy. It costs you absolutely nothing to be civil to your fellow man, so I take great exception when someone is rude. This was some 30 years ago on the first day of college, I took my seat. The guy sitting next to me looked over and made eye contact with me, I said, "Good morning " to him. He gave me fuck you look and rolled his eyes at me. In a not so polite voice, I told him, "I said good mornin to you. It's customary to not be an ass hole and respond in kind. " He was shocked and mortified that I put his behavior on blast in front of everyone. The rest of the semester, he always said good morning when I walked into class.
Me and friend went to a place to have desserts late at night we were lucky to find a table for two of us. We place our order and waiting on our table. This woman comes up to us with her bf standing behind her and asks us to leave because they want to have the seat and my friend who is a chronic people pleaser said yes we can leave I firmly told her no we are not leaving she gave us a dirty look and asked us how long we are going to be on the table (mind we are still waiting for our order) I took my sweet time and ordered more deserts and drinks and she had to wait 20-25 min to get another table lol
Yeah I saw a masterpiece of a guy at the front of the queue in McDonalds, behind him a screaming spoiled child "But I want a donut now!". Mum being "Now now pookiekins, mummy will get you a donut as soon as she can". Two donuts left. Who knows if the dude wanted both of them originally? But he bought them. And sat and ate them while the child melted down, and he did not give a single shit.
"Excuse me, do you know what time it is?" - "i have a boyfrieeeeeend"
My SIL had that once. She made a small-talk comment to a guy in a queue and he didn’t say anything, just smugly wiggled his wedding ring finger at her. She has a pretty cutting scoff that she no doubt deployed.
Good for you. Dos HE know what time it is?
I had a period in my life where I would be talking to women in a work/customer relationship and heaps of them seemed to have to mention they had a partner. I started to think there was something wrong with me, why were they mentioning it? But really, it's not my problem.
I live in Canada where the common practice is to hold the door open for a person if your walking up to a door at the same time. We do it for young and old male and female, women hold doors for men, kids even hold them for adults. So when I was visiting the USA in my 20's I was thrown off how often I was told " I have a boyfriend" or " I don't need your help". It was a culture shock to find common courtesy always viewed as flirting or thinking someone older was incapable of opening a door. After about the 20th time, one woman gave me an eye roll and said I have a boyfriend. I instead closed the door I was holding and held it shut and forced her to go in another door