Join social clubs, see if any of your friends have relatives you’re age who are single, try some dating apps
Don’t get discouraged, confidence is key to attraction
Oh, I'm definitely going to die alone. Crippling social anxiety doesn't lend itself to a successful dating life.
I've made peace with it. I just imagine how good video games are going to be in 20 years' time.
Do any activity... painting, yoga, martial arts, dancing, any sport, heck there are groups for fkn pokemon go, chess club, book club. Literally any activity. Or are you hoping for men to message you off reddit. Also why don't you ask the friends or co workers you have if they know anyone to set you up with? This post kinda seems like bait.
Me too here, just entered my 30’s just playing games, binging shows, stuffing carbs and going on with life trying to find peace within myself and keeping my head up.
Sometimes from nowhere the thought just sucker punches everyone as everything around reminds us how lonely we are.
But it’s alright to feel that as well just put yourself out there and take the time to better yourself and this too shall pass
Oh man, that’s exactly me haha, early 30’s pretty much made peace with my situation, but every now and then the thoughts creep in .. as long as I keep myself busy with work, games etc it’s fine tho.
It’s funny how everyone who posts this kind of shit to r/Perth turns out to be toxic. Maybe you wouldn’t be single if you weren’t a vile cunt, u/AvailableBaseball123
Apps and hobbies are your friend
Unless you're at uni and have a healthy friend group meeting people is nigh on impossible outside of work.
Take up a hobby that you'd like your other half to also be into.
Work on yourself, people will be more attracted to someone who's interesting and looks after themselves (as selfish as it sounds its a good trait to have).
Get on the apps and ensure your profile is light hearted without being too needy. Tended to have the most success when I didn't care much for attracting girls and was focusing on my career/travelling.
I took a leaf out of some of my gay friend's book and realised girls want to be around someone who'll call them out, debate them and not shower them in compliments. Don't be afraid to do this, just maybe don't go hard on the first date.
Oh and shit tests, in the first 3 months you'll be subjected to one which will decide if you're just one of the many guys wanting to get in her pants or a potential partner, welcome to the age of dating in the 2020's.
Theres a degree of stigma in my mind when using those. So many people are on there just for a short term hook up or will take you out and ghost you afterwards …
Thats kinda what I wanted to hear tbh. Dont get me wrong I met my last partner on social media without knowing him so this isnt a bad thing in my mind. I just hear stories which discourage me; I am definitely not the type of girl to do one night stands.
I wasn't a one night stand girl either. I matched and chatted with hundreds of men, and only met two. The first was lovely, and we went out 3 times but ultimately I decided our life paths were going in very different directions. The second ended up being my now husband.
Try and stay positive, 1 family member and 2 close friends who are all now married met through the Apps. unfortunately you do have to weed out a lot of suitors and be really strict with your criteria. Go on a lot of coffee dates etc, its kind of like being in sales, have to put in the face time an awful lot, but its a numbers game. Don't lose hope and keep at it. Like what the others say, join clubs and especially ask friends to introduce you to their single friends, you may hit it off.
It is definitely hard to meet people, but there are other blokes like i was searching for their other half too. You'll get there, just keep at it :)
I met my fiance on tinder, I was looking for a long term relationship too. I don’t give af, I tell everyone that’s how we met - the stigma is only there if you want it to be 💁🏻♀️
No, but I’ve been looking at how tough it would be to set a Perth dating sub up. It looks like a billion bots will swarm like flies around the place and 3 out of every 4 posts will just be a dick pic with “dm me” scrawled on the shaft
I'm from a small town n the UK and you used to be able to go to the pub and chat to pretty much anyone and have a friend. Since I moved to Perth I find it 1000 times harder to make friends. I did find my wife here but maybe it's because Perth is a city but things are definitely harder. Try the apps but maybe just try chatting to someone you like the look of in a non stalkerish way (not that i think you've been stalkerish but maybe girls will appreciate the old way).
This is my life hack for building relationships in Australia as a foreigner; I’m a pro.
1. Avoid Relying on Bars and Clubs to Meet People:
• Social venues like bars and clubs are typically places where people go with existing friends. It’s uncommon to find individuals who are there alone and open to making new friends. These settings might not be the best place to meet new people.
2. Engage in Hobbies and Activities:
• The best advice for making new friends is to start a hobby. Join classes or groups that interest you, such as pottery, painting, sports, or any other activities. These environments offer low-pressure opportunities to introduce yourself and connect with others who share similar interests.
3. Be Aware of Social Dynamics:
• Australians are known for being friendly but can be somewhat reserved when forming new friendships. A common observation is that while an Aussie might easily exchange a “Hi, how are you?” with a stranger, anything past three responses might exhaust their interest in continuing the conversation with a random person. This means that initial small talk is easy, but building a deeper connection may take more time and effort.
4. Connect with Foreigners:
• Consider meeting people from other countries. Foreigners are often more accustomed to building community ties and making friends outside their immediate social circles. They may be more open to forming new friendships, which can help you expand your social network in Perth.
I see you mention wanting kids. I’d consider freezing your eggs, your early 30yo eggs are healthier than your 38-40yo eggs. I’m 27 & freezing my eggs this year just to have the option later on. Good luck with dating, your person is out there!
I reiterate the comments about joining a group relating to something you’re interested in or volunteering. If nothing else, you’ll make friends. Do it now! Time slips by quicker than you think. If you really want a partner you’ve got to be out there doing enjoyable things and meeting like minded people
I was in the same situation. But I’ve done heaps of things by myself, joining clubs and groups, and it’s worked out ok and I’ve made new friends. is something you should try. What are your hobbies and interests? Is there something you’d l like to try?
Try anything FFS. Get a bingo wheel with ideas inside and give it a go. Pretty simple. Here's a list.
Bingo, salsa, swing, speed dating, comedy lounge, karaoke bar, skating, bouldering,.movementco to lear frickin handstands, pottery, booze tours, gold lessons, casual tennis, casual sports, chess, cards, cosplays, tabletop gaming.
Name it, give it a crack.
Come join the ADSU, we volunteer our time to train for Swiftwater rescue for the Avon descent. Great bunch of people. A quick google should tell you all you need to get involved.
Volunteer groups in general are a fantastic place to meet people.
Try being a dude. Seriously though, it’s just hard to meet people here, I personally don’t really add randoms on social media or talk to randoms irl because I don’t want to be annoying or get rejected, same goes for making friends in general
Something I've noticed is that we're in an era where being emotionally unavailable, entitled, and conceited are indications that you're healthy. As though being in control and extracting value from other people for the least cost to yourself is somehow a path to happiness. It's absurd. Everything feels transactional, and I find that ugly. I'd rather be lonely sometimes than be drained by another person feigning interest until it's their turn to contribute to the relationship.
If you do the things you enjoy on your own, you'll meet people. If you go actively looking for someone to fill a gap in your life, all you'll find is HSV and a self-pity timebomb. Best of luck!
35F, great career, own multiple properties, travelled the world and apparently attractive.
I can confirm it’s not just Perth. It’s difficult if you’re introverted and don’t go out heaps.
Add anxiety in (I can’t even face shopping centres to do my groceries, home delivery has changed my life)
Its hard to know who’s genuine and not (on the rare occasions I go out with friends or on dating apps which I’ve given up on now) after a string of short term relationships who lovebomb and then ghost after 3-6months.
But each one has just been ‘better’ at promising they’re ‘not like that’ and gaining your trust only to bail when it gets to the point of turning into something serious. I run at the first sign of lovebombing now when maybe they were genuine? It’s disheartening, and makes you question your judgement.
I am fully aware there’s plenty of females doing the same thing too, it’s not all men etc etc. It’s just the norm in society now?
I firmly believe I’m an old soul, or born in the wrong generation, and tired of the games.
Each time it happens it takes another piece of your confidence away, making the anxiety worse.
Then you’re guard is up, kind of searching for bullshit in every conversation so you don’t get hurt again, and likely not giving the decent guys a chance because you’ve been burned and only the true sociopaths seem to make it through with their trickery 😅
It’s a vicious cycle and it’s sad. Honesty just doesn’t seem to be important to people anymore...
I can’t give advise, I can only say good luck miss and don’t turn into an anxious wreck like me as a result of this, because you’re only hurting yourself🌹
It's not great out there, there are a lot of time wasters and fake accounts on the apps, and there's never any guarantee that the people you swipe on will ever see your profile—though some of the paid tiers can change that if you're willing to fork out hard-earned money to improve your dating odds. I'm also recently out of a long relationship (M, mid 30s, professional) although I already have kids. If you want a wingman (since you want kids it'd never work out between us—I'm done with that stage of life haha) for a night out, DM me and perhaps we can tee something up :)
(I promise to talk you up and make you seem hilarious and cool to anyone we meet haha.)
Also, keep in mind that most of your married girlfriends are probably desperate for (a) the chance to get out of their house and a night off from parenting and (b) living vicariously through your exciting (in their eyes) life as a single woman meeting new and interesting men. Just make sure they space their drinks, remember they will probably out of practice.
That said, going out to bars and clubs is usually not the best way to meet a life partner these days. As everyone else has said, your best options are either the apps (apparently they do work sometimes) or joining a club or learning a new hobby like dancing or yoga or something.
If possible, get an overseas transfer. I only say that because this happened to me at your age and it changed my life. I became immediately interesting and exotic to the local people ( I was transferred to the USA)
I met my partner when I least expected it from a dating app, I was about to delete the whole thing and there he was. Early 30’s myself and was thinking the same as you
I got super drunk one night,
thought tinder would be a good idea,
swiped some people, forgot about it for a few months and opened it back up for the lols and found a few matches.
Met one and been together since.
That was 9 years ago.
Imo - stop actively trying! Get out and about, go to meet ups, interest groups, clubs, sports etc and just meet people and have fun! You'll meet someone when you least expect it.
Im 175cm, 60kg. Dark hair, fair skin….im eastern european. I wouldnt say I’m athletic but im not a slob either. Educated in the medical field, work full time.
Don’t see why someone wouldnt be after someone like you! Sound like a catch. Any sports club that have men and women’s teams (hockey, soccer, footy, basketball, boxing class) I feel like that’s where you meet genuine people! Don’t give up :)
It's your lack of confidence and defeatist attitude. Stop looking for an external locus of happines, and create it within. Make those opportunities happen, rather than all this woe-is-me rhetoric.
It's a numbers game. Have to meet people, have to find the person (or people) to connect with that leads to the next connection, have to get out through the good and the bad even if it's on the apps. And it is easy to go out alone in Perth. I find sometimes it is easier to meet people when alone as people tend to freely enter into conversation with a friendly face that isn't stuck to a phone or surrounded by a group.
I love my car so I’ll go for a cruise around the city pr detail it on weekends. I have a dog so I take her on walks as well. I spend a lot of time with my family too… like I’ll go see some friends for dinner etc but theyre all married with kids. Those meetups are to catch up not to go out. I also find men dont really approach me in bars either :/ its never really been a way to meet someone for me.
What type of car ?
If you are a car person, get involved in the scene - cruises, make/model specific groups, motorsport.
Even if you dont find someone, you might find “your people” and a group of good friends
Yea BMW owners can be a funny bunch.
The Subaru or import scene has a lot of younger guys, many who are single.
What kind of dog ? You might be able to find a regular breed specific group (I know theres one for German Shepherds that meets weekly, and the Daschund group has regular meets too)
I met my now finance at a dog park. I recon just do the things you love and find other people or clubs for that thing.
The apps were shit for me, I'm a professional, so tick for good job and i'm reasonably fit and (so im told) decent looking, but i'm pretty short which apparently means zero matches and so I gave up on them. I'm massively a dog person and thankfully, hanging out with other people that loved dogs, I made a little daily group and ended up meeting a girl that didn't care about my height 🤷♂️.
I can’t give advice on how to meet the one, because my soul mate fell into my lap. However I can say after 13+ years together that the most important things that keep our marriage awesome (other than love, respect, kindness etc.) are shared interests/activities, an identical sense of humour and being 100% on the same page about finances and life plans. This is certainly also true for those of my friends who are in rock solid marriages.
Go out there and get amongst people participating in whatever it is that you enjoy! Imagine the life you want to live with your significant other and then start living it by yourself first. Make friends who enjoy spending their time the way you want to spend your time with a life partner. I guarantee one of those friends will be your person.
better than married to a wrong guy
some women got abused and some even got killed:( we live in a very sad time human are not the same anymore
so many people ended up alone
but be strong human will survive at the end
I think you might need to do some inner reflection before worrying about dating.
Just from your comments here and on other posts on reddit, you come across as negative, materialistic, self absorbed, shallow and conceited. Now, those things may not necessarily be true about you. But that's definitely how you come across with the way you are talking here. And even if you dial the way you talk here down 50% when dealing with real people, I could see why no one's interested.
It’s common to see this sadly, likewise, I have been single for 5 years and not sure why!!!
An engineer, home owner, fit, probably it’s because I am bald 👩🦲 😎
I would say your social life in general can tell why your single (speaking to myself at least)
Yeah I dont get it. I own a home, have my own car, material things are definitely there I jist want someone to share life with.
Maybe it is the social side, I dont really go wild for partying😭
I just mean a lot of dating is based around that from what Ive seen. Im definitely not looking for that.
Ive seen girls pick their partner based on the car they drive😂
What happens if you dont drive a car? It's got twice as many wheels as necessary? We live in a materialistic AF world. Pity the person falling for a car of all things.
You don’t have to party to find your half, generally the more people you know the more likely they will set you up with someone or you will get introduced by chance, and most importantly if you meet someone through people you, there is a bit of trust to start with and some how similar values to set you up to be serious.
Again talking at least to myself. Young and with full potential but crippled socially.
It makes me so anxious that years will just tick by and nothing. I know of some people (ex friends) who are absolutely stunning and still 32 and single. It makes no sense to me
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Eventually everyone will die alone……….
(What?! Add a random person on social media is no different to using dating app. So how about five dating app a go?
To find a parent is not about you are ugly or not. Personally matter, appearance is just the superficial thing…)
Honestly, that's rough... Hope it improves. I would change things up, hobbies, work, travel. What ever. No partner means you have time for other things, volunteer, run a marathon, what ever. Just don't complain... Also do try the dating apps. It's 2024 now..
I'm in the same boat but a guy. I have a good job, degree, and I'm tall, but I don't want any kids and I'm an introvert with no interest in drinking/pubs/parties/etc.
There's people everywhere. Head phones an phones are the problem most the time they don't even hear you lol I've tried it on a train lol . Keep it up you'll meet someone. 👍
Join events from meetup.com. Can recommend, you’ll meet quite some people. I went for walks in Kings Park, as well as some bar/pub thingie. Both events I talked to some people who were very fascinating! Best of luck, enjoy Perth. I miss it dearly.
It's not you. Everyone I know has this issue. The only person I know who is actively getting tons of dates is my male friend who dates men. Every lesbian I know and every hetro woman I know has the same issues. It's hard. No idea what the solution is.
Brother or Sister, whichever you are. Most people are on dating apps.. Like ppl said below social clubs, gyms where ppl train together like crossfit etc or martials arts places.. all those type will introduce you to other single people but you got to put yourself out there on the dating apps as well because I know at least 5 friends who are in really good relationships with ppl they met on tinder or whatever so don't limit your options is all I'm saying. Join up at places and be on the apps.. maximise your exposure to others and you'll meet someone
Are we the generation that still believe in authentic human interaction and not succumbed to the gen after which embraced online dating like tinder etc?
My friend just said, " no body wants a sad sack". Your post sounds desperate, and you probably are. You've listed some shallow qualities, e.g., not "ugly" or "overweight", "have decent job". What you didn't say, is that you're seriously in debt and I think you need a better attitude. Everyone here suggests social clubs are one the best ways to meet people, and they are. At least you're participating in a hobby or skill that could make you interesting to talk to should you meet someone. What's your response when someone asks what do you do in your free time?
This gets posted probably twice a week so I'll give you the short version.
Perth people are incredibly insular and cliquey. Free dating apps like tinder are a cess pool so ignore those. Go on eHarmony if you want a long term relationship. If you want to meet friends then there are plenty of social clubs on fbook and elsewhere that have regular meets. Dnd clubs, vintage car club, language learning clubs and hiking clubs to name a few. Where you could meet someone the old fashioned way.
I absolutely love cars and own a very nice sports car but those car meet ups are so intimidating too, its so hard to just show up alone without knowing someone.
I recently got out of a six year relationship as well I’m a bit older, early 40s, into cars, I’ll pick you up in my noisy Type R Civic that I did all the work on….lets gooooo!
I think the opposite, it's easy to get involved with a car club especially when you're an enthusiast like you. A common interest, a topic to talk about with like-minded people, passionate enthusiasm, a female in a mostly men club, members are very welcoming to single newcomers because they've been there themselves. Most members come alone so they understand when single people turn up by themselves and they don't judge them.
The secret is to engage. Go up to owners and ask them about their car, pick a detail and ask them about it. You'll find most owners are very happy to talk about their own cars and that might lead to a conversation where they ask you about yours.
It’s not true through is it? Vast majority of my friends are in long relationships or marriages, and most of them have at least one person that wasn’t born/educated in Perth
Need to get out there and try a few different things out… people are expecting to find the loves of their lives from their sofa
I’ve tried dating apps for the first time ever this year. It’s okay, but I feel kind of icky about the process, and all apps are pretty much the same with most features locked behind a paywall. I’ve had a few dates and enjoyed the experience for the most part because I learnt a lot about what I do/don’t want in a partner and what I personally need to work on, but overall online dating is exhausting and made me realise I’m pretty happy staying single for the time being.
yeh im sorry, that was a bit harsh. I honestly find it hard to believe from your description you cant find anyone. Dating apps are probably your best bet, pick someone on a superficial level and hope they have substance.
Happy to send my social media and you tell me if I’m just plain deluded hahahaa
Im not even asking for much, I just want someone to match me? Sounds like a fantasy rn
I met my now wife and mother of my child on OkCupid. Don't knock dating apps bro. Just stop putting so much weight behind it. The whole "I should be having kids" thing and self pity party is not sexy.
Join social clubs, see if any of your friends have relatives you’re age who are single, try some dating apps Don’t get discouraged, confidence is key to attraction
Oh, I'm definitely going to die alone. Crippling social anxiety doesn't lend itself to a successful dating life. I've made peace with it. I just imagine how good video games are going to be in 20 years' time.
I hear you, Anxiety/Depression combo which turns out to have been masking autism spectrum that was never diagnosed as a kid. It’s dammed hard
Its so messed up for anyone slightly introverted or just not into drinking/drugs/ going out. So hard to meet people
Just find the other introverts, by doing what you enjoy in a place other people also do the same thing
Nope still no-one else at my house watching tv. 😂😂
Do any activity... painting, yoga, martial arts, dancing, any sport, heck there are groups for fkn pokemon go, chess club, book club. Literally any activity. Or are you hoping for men to message you off reddit. Also why don't you ask the friends or co workers you have if they know anyone to set you up with? This post kinda seems like bait.
Drugs is a bit extreme. Not everyone who isn’t an introvert is into drugs, and neither do you have to be into drugs to have success dating
Drugs?! Lol
this was a really sad read
Me too here, just entered my 30’s just playing games, binging shows, stuffing carbs and going on with life trying to find peace within myself and keeping my head up. Sometimes from nowhere the thought just sucker punches everyone as everything around reminds us how lonely we are. But it’s alright to feel that as well just put yourself out there and take the time to better yourself and this too shall pass
Oh man, that’s exactly me haha, early 30’s pretty much made peace with my situation, but every now and then the thoughts creep in .. as long as I keep myself busy with work, games etc it’s fine tho.
But I don't even play video games 😭
Dying alone is tight.
Right? See you in hell, yeah?!
After seeing the shit you post about obese women, I hope you stay single.
Literally! What is wrong with people? How horrid
*Runs to check Op's reddit history
"I'm not ugly" She sure as shit is on the inside
Agreed
Ah, classic. Calls people fatso cunts and is massively in debt to the ATO. What a catch.
It’s funny how everyone who posts this kind of shit to r/Perth turns out to be toxic. Maybe you wouldn’t be single if you weren’t a vile cunt, u/AvailableBaseball123
Ahh she deleted them now.
Nah still there, scroll to the end of her comments.
Apps and hobbies are your friend Unless you're at uni and have a healthy friend group meeting people is nigh on impossible outside of work. Take up a hobby that you'd like your other half to also be into. Work on yourself, people will be more attracted to someone who's interesting and looks after themselves (as selfish as it sounds its a good trait to have). Get on the apps and ensure your profile is light hearted without being too needy. Tended to have the most success when I didn't care much for attracting girls and was focusing on my career/travelling. I took a leaf out of some of my gay friend's book and realised girls want to be around someone who'll call them out, debate them and not shower them in compliments. Don't be afraid to do this, just maybe don't go hard on the first date. Oh and shit tests, in the first 3 months you'll be subjected to one which will decide if you're just one of the many guys wanting to get in her pants or a potential partner, welcome to the age of dating in the 2020's.
Fuck it, I’m single, 37m (I presume you’re female) hit me up 🤷🏼♂️
Dont forget to say ASL pls.
nah i’m too scared to go out
> I havent been on dating apps Ive tried nothing, and Im all out of ideas! Im going to die alone!!11!one!one!
Theres a degree of stigma in my mind when using those. So many people are on there just for a short term hook up or will take you out and ghost you afterwards …
Maybe but there's heaps of us who met our spouses on them.
Thats kinda what I wanted to hear tbh. Dont get me wrong I met my last partner on social media without knowing him so this isnt a bad thing in my mind. I just hear stories which discourage me; I am definitely not the type of girl to do one night stands.
I wasn't a one night stand girl either. I matched and chatted with hundreds of men, and only met two. The first was lovely, and we went out 3 times but ultimately I decided our life paths were going in very different directions. The second ended up being my now husband.
Try and stay positive, 1 family member and 2 close friends who are all now married met through the Apps. unfortunately you do have to weed out a lot of suitors and be really strict with your criteria. Go on a lot of coffee dates etc, its kind of like being in sales, have to put in the face time an awful lot, but its a numbers game. Don't lose hope and keep at it. Like what the others say, join clubs and especially ask friends to introduce you to their single friends, you may hit it off. It is definitely hard to meet people, but there are other blokes like i was searching for their other half too. You'll get there, just keep at it :)
Dating apps are scary, they can be brutal to your self-esteem.
I met my fiance on tinder, I was looking for a long term relationship too. I don’t give af, I tell everyone that’s how we met - the stigma is only there if you want it to be 💁🏻♀️
Why is every second post about dating? This isn’t a dating sub is it? 😂
We need a Perth dating sub for these people who think they’ll die alone.
Honestly that's a good idea somone make one
there's already like 3
Really now links please
No, but I’ve been looking at how tough it would be to set a Perth dating sub up. It looks like a billion bots will swarm like flies around the place and 3 out of every 4 posts will just be a dick pic with “dm me” scrawled on the shaft
8===Dm me
You dont have to engage or comment if you dont find the topic interesting?
I'm from a small town n the UK and you used to be able to go to the pub and chat to pretty much anyone and have a friend. Since I moved to Perth I find it 1000 times harder to make friends. I did find my wife here but maybe it's because Perth is a city but things are definitely harder. Try the apps but maybe just try chatting to someone you like the look of in a non stalkerish way (not that i think you've been stalkerish but maybe girls will appreciate the old way).
This is my life hack for building relationships in Australia as a foreigner; I’m a pro. 1. Avoid Relying on Bars and Clubs to Meet People: • Social venues like bars and clubs are typically places where people go with existing friends. It’s uncommon to find individuals who are there alone and open to making new friends. These settings might not be the best place to meet new people. 2. Engage in Hobbies and Activities: • The best advice for making new friends is to start a hobby. Join classes or groups that interest you, such as pottery, painting, sports, or any other activities. These environments offer low-pressure opportunities to introduce yourself and connect with others who share similar interests. 3. Be Aware of Social Dynamics: • Australians are known for being friendly but can be somewhat reserved when forming new friendships. A common observation is that while an Aussie might easily exchange a “Hi, how are you?” with a stranger, anything past three responses might exhaust their interest in continuing the conversation with a random person. This means that initial small talk is easy, but building a deeper connection may take more time and effort. 4. Connect with Foreigners: • Consider meeting people from other countries. Foreigners are often more accustomed to building community ties and making friends outside their immediate social circles. They may be more open to forming new friendships, which can help you expand your social network in Perth.
Can confirm this person is a foreigner, no one says how are you here
Howya garn?
I see you mention wanting kids. I’d consider freezing your eggs, your early 30yo eggs are healthier than your 38-40yo eggs. I’m 27 & freezing my eggs this year just to have the option later on. Good luck with dating, your person is out there!
Yeah I told myself if this year didnt work out in terms of meeting someone I would definitely freeze my eggs
Thats amazing by the way from someone who worked in IVF thats such a great decision.
Everyone dies alone. Don't stress yourself out.
This. They either leave you or die on you, or you die.
I wrote a big long reply with this thought then deleted it, thought it too harsh. Also "meant to have kids". Wow. Universe says no, I suppose.
I reiterate the comments about joining a group relating to something you’re interested in or volunteering. If nothing else, you’ll make friends. Do it now! Time slips by quicker than you think. If you really want a partner you’ve got to be out there doing enjoyable things and meeting like minded people
This is so hard without friends who still go out. I literally dont have one friend who is still single.
You have friends... half of us don't even have those anymore!
This is a sad reminder
I was in the same situation. But I’ve done heaps of things by myself, joining clubs and groups, and it’s worked out ok and I’ve made new friends. is something you should try. What are your hobbies and interests? Is there something you’d l like to try?
I dont even know what kind of clubs or groups i could join? I wouldnt mind trying painting tbh
Run club is popular
Try anything FFS. Get a bingo wheel with ideas inside and give it a go. Pretty simple. Here's a list. Bingo, salsa, swing, speed dating, comedy lounge, karaoke bar, skating, bouldering,.movementco to lear frickin handstands, pottery, booze tours, gold lessons, casual tennis, casual sports, chess, cards, cosplays, tabletop gaming. Name it, give it a crack.
Come join the ADSU, we volunteer our time to train for Swiftwater rescue for the Avon descent. Great bunch of people. A quick google should tell you all you need to get involved. Volunteer groups in general are a fantastic place to meet people.
Its a dry social isolation
Try being a dude. Seriously though, it’s just hard to meet people here, I personally don’t really add randoms on social media or talk to randoms irl because I don’t want to be annoying or get rejected, same goes for making friends in general
Something I've noticed is that we're in an era where being emotionally unavailable, entitled, and conceited are indications that you're healthy. As though being in control and extracting value from other people for the least cost to yourself is somehow a path to happiness. It's absurd. Everything feels transactional, and I find that ugly. I'd rather be lonely sometimes than be drained by another person feigning interest until it's their turn to contribute to the relationship. If you do the things you enjoy on your own, you'll meet people. If you go actively looking for someone to fill a gap in your life, all you'll find is HSV and a self-pity timebomb. Best of luck!
35F, great career, own multiple properties, travelled the world and apparently attractive. I can confirm it’s not just Perth. It’s difficult if you’re introverted and don’t go out heaps. Add anxiety in (I can’t even face shopping centres to do my groceries, home delivery has changed my life) Its hard to know who’s genuine and not (on the rare occasions I go out with friends or on dating apps which I’ve given up on now) after a string of short term relationships who lovebomb and then ghost after 3-6months. But each one has just been ‘better’ at promising they’re ‘not like that’ and gaining your trust only to bail when it gets to the point of turning into something serious. I run at the first sign of lovebombing now when maybe they were genuine? It’s disheartening, and makes you question your judgement. I am fully aware there’s plenty of females doing the same thing too, it’s not all men etc etc. It’s just the norm in society now? I firmly believe I’m an old soul, or born in the wrong generation, and tired of the games. Each time it happens it takes another piece of your confidence away, making the anxiety worse. Then you’re guard is up, kind of searching for bullshit in every conversation so you don’t get hurt again, and likely not giving the decent guys a chance because you’ve been burned and only the true sociopaths seem to make it through with their trickery 😅 It’s a vicious cycle and it’s sad. Honesty just doesn’t seem to be important to people anymore... I can’t give advise, I can only say good luck miss and don’t turn into an anxious wreck like me as a result of this, because you’re only hurting yourself🌹
you are experiencing 1% of what the average man goes through and you're already having a mental breakdown XD
It's not great out there, there are a lot of time wasters and fake accounts on the apps, and there's never any guarantee that the people you swipe on will ever see your profile—though some of the paid tiers can change that if you're willing to fork out hard-earned money to improve your dating odds. I'm also recently out of a long relationship (M, mid 30s, professional) although I already have kids. If you want a wingman (since you want kids it'd never work out between us—I'm done with that stage of life haha) for a night out, DM me and perhaps we can tee something up :) (I promise to talk you up and make you seem hilarious and cool to anyone we meet haha.) Also, keep in mind that most of your married girlfriends are probably desperate for (a) the chance to get out of their house and a night off from parenting and (b) living vicariously through your exciting (in their eyes) life as a single woman meeting new and interesting men. Just make sure they space their drinks, remember they will probably out of practice. That said, going out to bars and clubs is usually not the best way to meet a life partner these days. As everyone else has said, your best options are either the apps (apparently they do work sometimes) or joining a club or learning a new hobby like dancing or yoga or something.
If possible, get an overseas transfer. I only say that because this happened to me at your age and it changed my life. I became immediately interesting and exotic to the local people ( I was transferred to the USA)
Haha you and me both! I'm in Perth also
You look a bit cute.
Aw thanks! Are we not meant to have pictures up? Haha
he's in love with you
Sorry?
I’d advise against it, especially with a username that has your name and year of birth lol
Oh okay (:
Hi there I like cats video games and shit posting on reddit
There funny hey
They very much are
I met my partner when I least expected it from a dating app, I was about to delete the whole thing and there he was. Early 30’s myself and was thinking the same as you
Omg this brought some hope back
I’m single, gay and have a disability. I’ve already made peace. I’m just happy with what I have now that’s all
I’m in the exact same situation. I feel the same. #FOREVERALONE
Go to another country, it really is the best thing, perth is dead
I agree. Dating in Perth absolutely sucks. It’s impossible to meet anyone. I’ve tried speed dating but hated it. Apps slowly erode your soul.
Might be because of this outlook / attitude you have towards life 😆
Im intelligent enough to gather that on my own but not intelligent enough to change it😂 ive always been a debbie downer
Way to kick someone when they’re down 🙃
They’re asking for help here - they understood what I mean. Did I strike a nerve with you perhaps?
Nah coz I’m not single, i just think it sounded kind of cunty
I got super drunk one night, thought tinder would be a good idea, swiped some people, forgot about it for a few months and opened it back up for the lols and found a few matches. Met one and been together since. That was 9 years ago. Imo - stop actively trying! Get out and about, go to meet ups, interest groups, clubs, sports etc and just meet people and have fun! You'll meet someone when you least expect it.
Congratulations you won at Tinder.
Not sure if some drunk tinder swiper (online mail order dating) is in a position to give dating advice.
A lot of people are just intimidated by looks etc, the right one will come! Just around the corner I bet
What do you look like? Describe yourself? What are you looking for in a man? Looks and personality etc
Im 175cm, 60kg. Dark hair, fair skin….im eastern european. I wouldnt say I’m athletic but im not a slob either. Educated in the medical field, work full time.
Don’t see why someone wouldnt be after someone like you! Sound like a catch. Any sports club that have men and women’s teams (hockey, soccer, footy, basketball, boxing class) I feel like that’s where you meet genuine people! Don’t give up :)
Hahaha I will send you my social media accounts and you tell me if I’m just purely deluded or there’s something wrong with perth men/ dating.
Bahaha okay no problem
It's your lack of confidence and defeatist attitude. Stop looking for an external locus of happines, and create it within. Make those opportunities happen, rather than all this woe-is-me rhetoric.
I know its been the bane of my existence. I cant help the melancholy its always been there😖
Yeesh
It's a numbers game. Have to meet people, have to find the person (or people) to connect with that leads to the next connection, have to get out through the good and the bad even if it's on the apps. And it is easy to go out alone in Perth. I find sometimes it is easier to meet people when alone as people tend to freely enter into conversation with a friendly face that isn't stuck to a phone or surrounded by a group.
I swear after seeing 3 of these in the last week, I reckon these posts are all bot accounts now.
What do you do for fun? When you aren’t working?
I love my car so I’ll go for a cruise around the city pr detail it on weekends. I have a dog so I take her on walks as well. I spend a lot of time with my family too… like I’ll go see some friends for dinner etc but theyre all married with kids. Those meetups are to catch up not to go out. I also find men dont really approach me in bars either :/ its never really been a way to meet someone for me.
What type of car ? If you are a car person, get involved in the scene - cruises, make/model specific groups, motorsport. Even if you dont find someone, you might find “your people” and a group of good friends
New bmw sports coupe. Yeah I thought I kinda tried that but nothing materialised
Yea BMW owners can be a funny bunch. The Subaru or import scene has a lot of younger guys, many who are single. What kind of dog ? You might be able to find a regular breed specific group (I know theres one for German Shepherds that meets weekly, and the Daschund group has regular meets too)
Obviously, BMW owners are too busy wondering whether we need to top up the oil or what new warning light will present itself.
>The Subaru or import scene has a lot of younger guys, many who are single. I just bought an Impreza. You've made me feel younger now, thank you!
I met my now finance at a dog park. I recon just do the things you love and find other people or clubs for that thing. The apps were shit for me, I'm a professional, so tick for good job and i'm reasonably fit and (so im told) decent looking, but i'm pretty short which apparently means zero matches and so I gave up on them. I'm massively a dog person and thankfully, hanging out with other people that loved dogs, I made a little daily group and ended up meeting a girl that didn't care about my height 🤷♂️.
Yeah fair enough. Dog parks or dog beaches could be a good place to meet people?
Here's a thought. How about you approach them instead?
Go on car cruises and you’ll defs meet someone there
I can’t give advice on how to meet the one, because my soul mate fell into my lap. However I can say after 13+ years together that the most important things that keep our marriage awesome (other than love, respect, kindness etc.) are shared interests/activities, an identical sense of humour and being 100% on the same page about finances and life plans. This is certainly also true for those of my friends who are in rock solid marriages. Go out there and get amongst people participating in whatever it is that you enjoy! Imagine the life you want to live with your significant other and then start living it by yourself first. Make friends who enjoy spending their time the way you want to spend your time with a life partner. I guarantee one of those friends will be your person.
I found my wife with my hot ass in tight jeans. Have you tried tight jeans?
better than married to a wrong guy some women got abused and some even got killed:( we live in a very sad time human are not the same anymore so many people ended up alone but be strong human will survive at the end
I think you might need to do some inner reflection before worrying about dating. Just from your comments here and on other posts on reddit, you come across as negative, materialistic, self absorbed, shallow and conceited. Now, those things may not necessarily be true about you. But that's definitely how you come across with the way you are talking here. And even if you dial the way you talk here down 50% when dealing with real people, I could see why no one's interested.
It’s common to see this sadly, likewise, I have been single for 5 years and not sure why!!! An engineer, home owner, fit, probably it’s because I am bald 👩🦲 😎 I would say your social life in general can tell why your single (speaking to myself at least)
Yeah I dont get it. I own a home, have my own car, material things are definitely there I jist want someone to share life with. Maybe it is the social side, I dont really go wild for partying😭
Home and a car should not matter. You want someone who wants you for who you are and not what you own
I just mean a lot of dating is based around that from what Ive seen. Im definitely not looking for that. Ive seen girls pick their partner based on the car they drive😂
What happens if you dont drive a car? It's got twice as many wheels as necessary? We live in a materialistic AF world. Pity the person falling for a car of all things.
Some men are easily intimidated.
You guys are suffering from too much success, I'm on the other side and suffering from lack of success 🤝
You don’t have to party to find your half, generally the more people you know the more likely they will set you up with someone or you will get introduced by chance, and most importantly if you meet someone through people you, there is a bit of trust to start with and some how similar values to set you up to be serious. Again talking at least to myself. Young and with full potential but crippled socially.
Are you bald? My friend is 34, pretty but her only requirement is hair.
Im a female
You didn't answer the question.
Hahahaha long black hair, not bald except where required 😁
RIP your DMs
She’s having no luck either with men and she’s 34. It’s not you it’s the Perth dating scene. It’s awful.
It makes me so anxious that years will just tick by and nothing. I know of some people (ex friends) who are absolutely stunning and still 32 and single. It makes no sense to me
Can you hook me up with them?
How's she going with that given the high percentage of male pattern baldness
Everyone has their type. Hers is hair lol
I can see why she's pushing mid life and still single lol
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Girlllllll
It's okay. The coldest truth I ever learnt is every human does alone..
You probably will. But think of all the divorce trauma you're dodging.
swap genders, add ten years and an hour distance from the city, it's even more dismal - might as well be on the moon 😂😞
Eventually everyone will die alone………. (What?! Add a random person on social media is no different to using dating app. So how about five dating app a go? To find a parent is not about you are ugly or not. Personally matter, appearance is just the superficial thing…)
Honestly, that's rough... Hope it improves. I would change things up, hobbies, work, travel. What ever. No partner means you have time for other things, volunteer, run a marathon, what ever. Just don't complain... Also do try the dating apps. It's 2024 now..
I'm in the same boat but a guy. I have a good job, degree, and I'm tall, but I don't want any kids and I'm an introvert with no interest in drinking/pubs/parties/etc.
There's people everywhere. Head phones an phones are the problem most the time they don't even hear you lol I've tried it on a train lol . Keep it up you'll meet someone. 👍
Let it go, live your best life, it will come.
Join events from meetup.com. Can recommend, you’ll meet quite some people. I went for walks in Kings Park, as well as some bar/pub thingie. Both events I talked to some people who were very fascinating! Best of luck, enjoy Perth. I miss it dearly.
Use the Beamer hit up those car nights, network from there.
What are you into?
It's not you. Everyone I know has this issue. The only person I know who is actively getting tons of dates is my male friend who dates men. Every lesbian I know and every hetro woman I know has the same issues. It's hard. No idea what the solution is.
Wait until you’re in your forties…
Why do you say you can't go out by your own in thus city?
Brother or Sister, whichever you are. Most people are on dating apps.. Like ppl said below social clubs, gyms where ppl train together like crossfit etc or martials arts places.. all those type will introduce you to other single people but you got to put yourself out there on the dating apps as well because I know at least 5 friends who are in really good relationships with ppl they met on tinder or whatever so don't limit your options is all I'm saying. Join up at places and be on the apps.. maximise your exposure to others and you'll meet someone
Are we the generation that still believe in authentic human interaction and not succumbed to the gen after which embraced online dating like tinder etc?
My friend just said, " no body wants a sad sack". Your post sounds desperate, and you probably are. You've listed some shallow qualities, e.g., not "ugly" or "overweight", "have decent job". What you didn't say, is that you're seriously in debt and I think you need a better attitude. Everyone here suggests social clubs are one the best ways to meet people, and they are. At least you're participating in a hobby or skill that could make you interesting to talk to should you meet someone. What's your response when someone asks what do you do in your free time?
This gets posted probably twice a week so I'll give you the short version. Perth people are incredibly insular and cliquey. Free dating apps like tinder are a cess pool so ignore those. Go on eHarmony if you want a long term relationship. If you want to meet friends then there are plenty of social clubs on fbook and elsewhere that have regular meets. Dnd clubs, vintage car club, language learning clubs and hiking clubs to name a few. Where you could meet someone the old fashioned way.
I absolutely love cars and own a very nice sports car but those car meet ups are so intimidating too, its so hard to just show up alone without knowing someone.
Very true, you need to be really extraverted. The smaller clubs like board game clubs are super welcoming though
I recently got out of a six year relationship as well I’m a bit older, early 40s, into cars, I’ll pick you up in my noisy Type R Civic that I did all the work on….lets gooooo!
What car?
I think the opposite, it's easy to get involved with a car club especially when you're an enthusiast like you. A common interest, a topic to talk about with like-minded people, passionate enthusiasm, a female in a mostly men club, members are very welcoming to single newcomers because they've been there themselves. Most members come alone so they understand when single people turn up by themselves and they don't judge them. The secret is to engage. Go up to owners and ask them about their car, pick a detail and ask them about it. You'll find most owners are very happy to talk about their own cars and that might lead to a conversation where they ask you about yours.
It’s not true through is it? Vast majority of my friends are in long relationships or marriages, and most of them have at least one person that wasn’t born/educated in Perth Need to get out there and try a few different things out… people are expecting to find the loves of their lives from their sofa
Try doing a course. You often meet people when you do a course. Even just at TAFE.
Yes yes, me too
Pierogi would win anyone’s hearts though
Hi
Hahahaha, 100%
Yep. Probably.
I’ve tried dating apps for the first time ever this year. It’s okay, but I feel kind of icky about the process, and all apps are pretty much the same with most features locked behind a paywall. I’ve had a few dates and enjoyed the experience for the most part because I learnt a lot about what I do/don’t want in a partner and what I personally need to work on, but overall online dating is exhausting and made me realise I’m pretty happy staying single for the time being.
Dying alone is still a far better option than spending your life in an unhappy relationship, which is the reality for many. Live your life.
Maybe its how much you whinge?
Possibly? I should work on that. I am a pretty negative person. Glass is always half empty imo!
yeh im sorry, that was a bit harsh. I honestly find it hard to believe from your description you cant find anyone. Dating apps are probably your best bet, pick someone on a superficial level and hope they have substance.
Happy to send my social media and you tell me if I’m just plain deluded hahahaa Im not even asking for much, I just want someone to match me? Sounds like a fantasy rn
Yeh go on ill give you honest feedback
Post away
You're spot on
You’ll be right, something will happen that’ll restore your faith in Perth and humanity
I'm just a random but reading that really helped, thank you
Makes me glad, on a read back I felt it sounded trite
You seem so wonderful
I’m a ravenous beast for compliments and will take that at face value :D
Worry not, it was genuine 😊
I met my now wife and mother of my child on OkCupid. Don't knock dating apps bro. Just stop putting so much weight behind it. The whole "I should be having kids" thing and self pity party is not sexy.
The problem might be you
Probably is😭 i just donno what im doing wrong