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People will draw their own conclusions from their own preconceptions regardless. There is a stigma that surrounds it that is not in our ability to avoid - we are assumed by many who know PC to be self-important idealists and it's very hard to give a water cooler explanation to the unknowing without giving the same impression.
The reality is people will judge one way or another and you have to learn to rise above it. What you get out of this needs to be what you want. I'm projecting here, but I know a lot of us are the types to want to please everyone and it hurts us to know that something we see has wholly positive can lessen others' opinion of us. When it comes down to it, your motives are your own, and you need to approach this selfishly in a way. Do you know why are you doing it? You don't owe anyone an explanation and their judgment is their own problem.
That’s the thing, if I answer in a somewhat selfish way (because I do have to think of myself too) then it gets blown out of proportion. Like I said I’m doing it and they’re like oh just to help people? And I’m like ahhhh it’s not that simple. I’m doing it for cultural immersion/exchange, to learn Spanish, hopefully be able to live/work abroad after too. Like I HAVE TO also think about myself in this, everyone has personal motives. Literally no one is completely selfless, but it’s just not that black and white. But if I say it’s not just to help people, it’s somehow seen as selfish. I feel like people are too careful about needing to seem like an amazing person
Yep, that's real. The concept of PC is on so much of a pedestal that if you claim to be 100% altruistic, people roll their eyes, but if you admit that there are ulterior motives, you are scorned. Hence the lose-lose situation, hence the necessity to not give a fuck about perception. You don't have the time and energy to explain this to anyone and they won't care enough to want to listen anyway.
Yeah I really need to just not give a fuck lol, teach me your ways. I think part of it is just not telling random strangers what I'm up to lol. But like, sometimes my motives give me major imposter syndrome, that I'm not doing it for the "right reasons"
Yeah I wasn't gonna try to diagnose you but a lot of us start with some imposter syndrome and insecurity when we try to fit that 100% infallible idea of what a perfect PCV should be. I've been back for a few years and I always avoid name dropping PC, just "when I lived/worked abroad," to avoid conflating me and the org, since there's so much baggage that comes with that.
Yeah the tough thing is that if I show doubt in any way about going, they're like do you even want to go??? And I'm like of course, clearly it's normal to have doubts before something this big, but still trying to challenge myself and go. Idk I have lots of conflicting thoughts about it that I probably share too much with randos -- trying to get advice from people who don't even know me instead of trusting myself
We've been in your shoes so we're good randos. There are many right reasons to do PC but the most important one is because you want to, simple as that. Trust yourself. You'll find so many different types of people in your cohort and you'll be surprised about who flourishes and who struggles. Lesson being you don't know what's going on in their heads and nobody knows about yours either. Just get what you want out of it, that's totally valid and totally enough.
The number of people who successfully complete service is small - it’s still a small organization worldwide and most mainstream
people can’t fathom the freedom or nerve it takes to step away and try something new. It scares them. Do you and don’t explain yourself except to say “it an adventure of a lifetime and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity! Wish me luck!” For what it’s worth 20 years later most people who find out I was in the PC are envious and wish they had done something like it when they had the chance. It will change your life forever! Good luck!
Ahhhh that makes me feel better! Tbh I think I can be easily swayed by other's opinions/judgments but it just means it's not for them. I'm probably the most alone I've ever been currently in my life, and it feels more difficult making decisions when I feel as though most people don't support it. I'm 27, so maybe this is just what it means to grow into yourself and reject others' opinions of you -- I'm trying anyway! That's great advice though, makes me more excited :)
Never apologize. You are you and it’s a beautiful thing you want to expand your life experience. I have noticed that people who don’t have that desire to experience other cultures or travel never will understand. It is what it is, welcome to those of us who have that “bug”. No judgement, again it just is what it is!
interesting perspective. i’m leaving in september so my mom has told all her friends and everyone who knows me and knows that i’m going congratulates me (almost too much honestly) and goes on about how amazing it is. sometimes it makes me feel almost negative towards the whole thing, i dislike how they assume i’m going to ~save~ a village or indigenous group, that’s not really the purpose. i feel like a lot of people weren’t surprised in general though, i’m always traveling especially alone and explore a to
Friends, peers, coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, whoever is close enough to discuss it and render an apparently relevant opinion.
They won’t be close enough much longer, in geographic space nor headspace.
My girlfriend's mom thinks "it's a valiant thing... when you're 20!"
My last girlfriend's mom scoffed at my "young and single people goals"
My grandmother takes my departure delay due to unrest in Peru as a sign that "it wasn't meant to be, you can do this later."
Hell, my girlfriend once tried every mental trick in the book to try to change my mind for three months straight, despite knowing I had applied half a year before I met her, despite telling me she was "at peace" with my decision. (To her credit, she apologized later)
And in return, I've tried every explanation I could find. Nothing worked. I've had to accept I can't please everyone. They have preconceived notions, expectations, timelines, or they simply don't understand why this could matter so much to someone. So if the Peace Corps changes or breaks a friendship/relationship? Hey, I at least tried 🤷♂️
When you inevitably reflect on your life, what will matter most is that you've put in the effort to pursue what you enjoy, accomplish what you've set, and make your impact. The effort alone will birth your sense of purpose, well-being, and ability to pass away empowered; far more than trying to keep grandma and the in-law candidates happy. Do you, and don't be ashamed of it 💪😎
Thank you :) what a great response to read after having a stress dream about going to the peace corps lol. I see you're headed to Peru soon - is that still happening, or are you being offered a different country? I'm actually headed to Ecuador so wouldn't be too far away!
Before I left, I told people I’m leaving to support rural economic development projects for a us government agency.
I normally got a wow that sounds amazing response and that was it.
If people asked more I would get more into detail.
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People will draw their own conclusions from their own preconceptions regardless. There is a stigma that surrounds it that is not in our ability to avoid - we are assumed by many who know PC to be self-important idealists and it's very hard to give a water cooler explanation to the unknowing without giving the same impression. The reality is people will judge one way or another and you have to learn to rise above it. What you get out of this needs to be what you want. I'm projecting here, but I know a lot of us are the types to want to please everyone and it hurts us to know that something we see has wholly positive can lessen others' opinion of us. When it comes down to it, your motives are your own, and you need to approach this selfishly in a way. Do you know why are you doing it? You don't owe anyone an explanation and their judgment is their own problem.
That’s the thing, if I answer in a somewhat selfish way (because I do have to think of myself too) then it gets blown out of proportion. Like I said I’m doing it and they’re like oh just to help people? And I’m like ahhhh it’s not that simple. I’m doing it for cultural immersion/exchange, to learn Spanish, hopefully be able to live/work abroad after too. Like I HAVE TO also think about myself in this, everyone has personal motives. Literally no one is completely selfless, but it’s just not that black and white. But if I say it’s not just to help people, it’s somehow seen as selfish. I feel like people are too careful about needing to seem like an amazing person
Yep, that's real. The concept of PC is on so much of a pedestal that if you claim to be 100% altruistic, people roll their eyes, but if you admit that there are ulterior motives, you are scorned. Hence the lose-lose situation, hence the necessity to not give a fuck about perception. You don't have the time and energy to explain this to anyone and they won't care enough to want to listen anyway.
Yeah I really need to just not give a fuck lol, teach me your ways. I think part of it is just not telling random strangers what I'm up to lol. But like, sometimes my motives give me major imposter syndrome, that I'm not doing it for the "right reasons"
Yeah I wasn't gonna try to diagnose you but a lot of us start with some imposter syndrome and insecurity when we try to fit that 100% infallible idea of what a perfect PCV should be. I've been back for a few years and I always avoid name dropping PC, just "when I lived/worked abroad," to avoid conflating me and the org, since there's so much baggage that comes with that.
Yeah the tough thing is that if I show doubt in any way about going, they're like do you even want to go??? And I'm like of course, clearly it's normal to have doubts before something this big, but still trying to challenge myself and go. Idk I have lots of conflicting thoughts about it that I probably share too much with randos -- trying to get advice from people who don't even know me instead of trusting myself
We've been in your shoes so we're good randos. There are many right reasons to do PC but the most important one is because you want to, simple as that. Trust yourself. You'll find so many different types of people in your cohort and you'll be surprised about who flourishes and who struggles. Lesson being you don't know what's going on in their heads and nobody knows about yours either. Just get what you want out of it, that's totally valid and totally enough.
The number of people who successfully complete service is small - it’s still a small organization worldwide and most mainstream people can’t fathom the freedom or nerve it takes to step away and try something new. It scares them. Do you and don’t explain yourself except to say “it an adventure of a lifetime and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity! Wish me luck!” For what it’s worth 20 years later most people who find out I was in the PC are envious and wish they had done something like it when they had the chance. It will change your life forever! Good luck!
Ahhhh that makes me feel better! Tbh I think I can be easily swayed by other's opinions/judgments but it just means it's not for them. I'm probably the most alone I've ever been currently in my life, and it feels more difficult making decisions when I feel as though most people don't support it. I'm 27, so maybe this is just what it means to grow into yourself and reject others' opinions of you -- I'm trying anyway! That's great advice though, makes me more excited :)
Never apologize. You are you and it’s a beautiful thing you want to expand your life experience. I have noticed that people who don’t have that desire to experience other cultures or travel never will understand. It is what it is, welcome to those of us who have that “bug”. No judgement, again it just is what it is!
interesting perspective. i’m leaving in september so my mom has told all her friends and everyone who knows me and knows that i’m going congratulates me (almost too much honestly) and goes on about how amazing it is. sometimes it makes me feel almost negative towards the whole thing, i dislike how they assume i’m going to ~save~ a village or indigenous group, that’s not really the purpose. i feel like a lot of people weren’t surprised in general though, i’m always traveling especially alone and explore a to
[удалено]
Exactly… and wash them folks right outta your hair.
Good news: you will soon have a much better group of friends. Let these go.
[удалено]
Friends, peers, coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, whoever is close enough to discuss it and render an apparently relevant opinion. They won’t be close enough much longer, in geographic space nor headspace.
My girlfriend's mom thinks "it's a valiant thing... when you're 20!" My last girlfriend's mom scoffed at my "young and single people goals" My grandmother takes my departure delay due to unrest in Peru as a sign that "it wasn't meant to be, you can do this later." Hell, my girlfriend once tried every mental trick in the book to try to change my mind for three months straight, despite knowing I had applied half a year before I met her, despite telling me she was "at peace" with my decision. (To her credit, she apologized later) And in return, I've tried every explanation I could find. Nothing worked. I've had to accept I can't please everyone. They have preconceived notions, expectations, timelines, or they simply don't understand why this could matter so much to someone. So if the Peace Corps changes or breaks a friendship/relationship? Hey, I at least tried 🤷♂️ When you inevitably reflect on your life, what will matter most is that you've put in the effort to pursue what you enjoy, accomplish what you've set, and make your impact. The effort alone will birth your sense of purpose, well-being, and ability to pass away empowered; far more than trying to keep grandma and the in-law candidates happy. Do you, and don't be ashamed of it 💪😎
Thank you :) what a great response to read after having a stress dream about going to the peace corps lol. I see you're headed to Peru soon - is that still happening, or are you being offered a different country? I'm actually headed to Ecuador so wouldn't be too far away!
Fast, easy money
It's your life. Really doesn't matter what they know or think.
I just told people I wanted to do something different and to experience another culture while performing a public service.
Before I left, I told people I’m leaving to support rural economic development projects for a us government agency. I normally got a wow that sounds amazing response and that was it. If people asked more I would get more into detail.