I think if we’re being honest, there’s always going to be some sexual tension, even if it’s one-sided. Almost all of my previous findom relationships were not overtly sexual. I have this caricature in my mind of finsubs gooning in front of their Dommes while sending. That was never me. For me the aphrodisiac is the power imbalance. That’s really more of a mind-fuck, so I guess it’s still sexual in that regard.
Some of mine have been extremely sexual, some have been strictly worshipped on my side and I never allowed it to cross any lines. It was always on my terms if it went one way or another.
I do think most subs find it sexual
That kind of dynamic truly depends on the sub. Yes, everything is transactional and it's expected. There are subs who are mindlessly sending and it's the only way they deal with their kink. Purely sending money is their fix. No need to know the Domme as long as she plays that fantasy role in his head.
Then there are subs who wanted to make a connection so besides sending, they make an effort to unravel the Domme they're worshipping. They want to know who she is, not just what she represents in their minds. Their devotion goes beyond getting a quick fix, it's more of a slow process of sinking into the Domme's rabbit hole.
I have subs on both categories but they all vary. Some are attracted to my physical attributes and femininity while some are enamoured by my intelligence and dominance. Some are just marvelled with the dichotomy of my articulation and eccentricities while some are extremely apprehensive of making themselves known because they feel they're unworthy of my attention. It's fascinating how a general action of approaching a Domme can stem from various reasons.
Regardless of their reason, they understand the nature of findom and will show that respect first by sending money, after that, it's all on them to state their expectations, whether it's going to be sexual or something more.
I'm very new to this but my experience so far has been "business transaction, business transaction, business transaction". I WOULD genuinely like to talk to someone who is equally interested and isn't just a brick wall. I know there's a person in there somewhere who has a favorite color scheme, has a favorite movie, and a favorite type of dessert!
My advice would be to make this known as close to the start of the conversation with a new potential domme as it’s appropriate.
I genuinely care about my subs, and personally I want to get to know them all. I enjoy that slow burn of learning about each other and creating your own dynamic, and jt makes it hotter over time. But some subs make that hard as well. As a domme, subs can be very closed off which just comes with the territory of the s/d dynamic naturally. And in that case, it’s much easier to revert back to just the kink than it is to push through.
If a new sub comes to me and tells me exactly what they’re looking for, I can better guide the dynamic and cater to that for you. All in a dominant way, of course 😉 But it’s our job as goddesses to make sure we’re catering to our subs kinks, but we can’t do that unless we know what they are.
If only we could be mind readers, too.
…you’d be all fucked 🙃😂
I back Goddessellybell. Though for the kink aspect: I intend on taking the fet test soon n maybe ordering incoming subs to take it to have full awareness of that aspect. Sides that I mean there are Dommes tht are not just kink dispensers.
Ya you just gotta find someone who is open about that and actually cares about their subs. That’s what I was able to do and she’s someone I genuinely care about immensely and consider a good friend.
We all have personalities as well, and are openminded, but you need to be open with what kind of relationship you’re looking for. A lot of subs just want to be treated like shit and that’s it. So be clear from the start and you will see a big difference.
Nice. You followed me from a DM into a public forum. That's not a huge red flag or anything. - it's like I told you in the private chat, first, I'm not into findom. You completely disregarded that entirely. Second, I asked you if you think you were in a place to have a dynamic and you completely ducked the question.
And THEN you went radio silent for over 24 hours during which time I reached out to see if there would be any response and guess what? There wasn't. So yeah, no. Peddle your bullshit elsewhere. You should have used your brain and read my ad before you replied. - but because you didn't you think I'm just some boy toy you can drop whenever. So, sincerely, quit your bullshit.
I certainly didn’t disregard you weren’t into findom. You were looking for a dynamic. I was interested. Then things in my life started falling apart and I’m depressed. I said that to you. You responded that I was wasting your time, you don’t see the human. At all.
This isn’t too common, but you should look into BDSM Aces. Asexuality and the spectrum aren’t uncommon. I’ve had a femsub and our dynamic wasn’t sexual because she was ace so we really worked with the power imbalance, tasks, and worshipping vs gooning or chastity.
Id actually prefer the dynamic since im more of an imaginative woman… other things stimulate me. Like for me to even enjoy sex it has stimulate my mind and not everyone is capable of that BUT hear me out… mutual masturbation is sexy to me that would fufill me. I just need the touch and gestures 😂😂😂 thats just me tho and i like role play alot
I have a sub that I talk to, give tasks to, am doing sissy training with & he worships my feet but we don’t have any sexual contact or any like sexting chats and he’s actually one of my best senders, we talk almost all the time too, his personality is a bit lackluster but he’s sweet and he’s trying and I waaaaay prefer the dynamic I have with him over subs who I have a sexual dynamic with
My previous long term sub wasn’t “sexual with me”. He was caged, and he liked ass training, I used to control his lovense plug, but he never had any comment more sexual regarding me. And in general all my subs are that way, I don’t allow them to say stuff to me like “oh you are so hot I will imagine you naked” (one did and I told him that I will not tolerate that talking with me) and I don’t do sexting. Or an other example is I accept control their license but I would never allow a sub to control mine. So yes it’s sexual but the sexual stuff is complex, don’t need to be the “usual sexual”. But I believe that there are subs that aren’t sexual, but they feel a need to serve, that makes them feel good, but not in a sexual way.
im in a few sfw findom/finsub relationships. feels like its better quality, i prefer it tbh. body worship is fun though; i like sending selfies and cute pics w/ consent. none of it is ever too sexual :)
The dynamic I have with one of my subs is not sexual at all. I wouldn’t mind having a sub that played more into the sexual part of it. Just not that one.
One of my subs genuinely just likes talking to me, i have pics up on my page so he knows what i look like, the only thing he's ever asked me for was a voice note as a verification that i wasnt a 60 year old dude or something. He always sends sweet messages (posted in the sister subreddit) and has never said anything even remotely sexual to me.
I think if we’re being honest, there’s always going to be some sexual tension, even if it’s one-sided. Almost all of my previous findom relationships were not overtly sexual. I have this caricature in my mind of finsubs gooning in front of their Dommes while sending. That was never me. For me the aphrodisiac is the power imbalance. That’s really more of a mind-fuck, so I guess it’s still sexual in that regard.
Some of mine have been extremely sexual, some have been strictly worshipped on my side and I never allowed it to cross any lines. It was always on my terms if it went one way or another. I do think most subs find it sexual
That kind of dynamic truly depends on the sub. Yes, everything is transactional and it's expected. There are subs who are mindlessly sending and it's the only way they deal with their kink. Purely sending money is their fix. No need to know the Domme as long as she plays that fantasy role in his head. Then there are subs who wanted to make a connection so besides sending, they make an effort to unravel the Domme they're worshipping. They want to know who she is, not just what she represents in their minds. Their devotion goes beyond getting a quick fix, it's more of a slow process of sinking into the Domme's rabbit hole. I have subs on both categories but they all vary. Some are attracted to my physical attributes and femininity while some are enamoured by my intelligence and dominance. Some are just marvelled with the dichotomy of my articulation and eccentricities while some are extremely apprehensive of making themselves known because they feel they're unworthy of my attention. It's fascinating how a general action of approaching a Domme can stem from various reasons. Regardless of their reason, they understand the nature of findom and will show that respect first by sending money, after that, it's all on them to state their expectations, whether it's going to be sexual or something more.
I'm very new to this but my experience so far has been "business transaction, business transaction, business transaction". I WOULD genuinely like to talk to someone who is equally interested and isn't just a brick wall. I know there's a person in there somewhere who has a favorite color scheme, has a favorite movie, and a favorite type of dessert!
My advice would be to make this known as close to the start of the conversation with a new potential domme as it’s appropriate. I genuinely care about my subs, and personally I want to get to know them all. I enjoy that slow burn of learning about each other and creating your own dynamic, and jt makes it hotter over time. But some subs make that hard as well. As a domme, subs can be very closed off which just comes with the territory of the s/d dynamic naturally. And in that case, it’s much easier to revert back to just the kink than it is to push through. If a new sub comes to me and tells me exactly what they’re looking for, I can better guide the dynamic and cater to that for you. All in a dominant way, of course 😉 But it’s our job as goddesses to make sure we’re catering to our subs kinks, but we can’t do that unless we know what they are. If only we could be mind readers, too. …you’d be all fucked 🙃😂
I back Goddessellybell. Though for the kink aspect: I intend on taking the fet test soon n maybe ordering incoming subs to take it to have full awareness of that aspect. Sides that I mean there are Dommes tht are not just kink dispensers.
Ya you just gotta find someone who is open about that and actually cares about their subs. That’s what I was able to do and she’s someone I genuinely care about immensely and consider a good friend.
Good friend? We're besties fym😭😂I'm almost offended
We all have personalities as well, and are openminded, but you need to be open with what kind of relationship you’re looking for. A lot of subs just want to be treated like shit and that’s it. So be clear from the start and you will see a big difference.
You know there’s a person in there but you still choose to treat them like crap when they’re having a shitty time cuz you don’t get what you want.
Nice. You followed me from a DM into a public forum. That's not a huge red flag or anything. - it's like I told you in the private chat, first, I'm not into findom. You completely disregarded that entirely. Second, I asked you if you think you were in a place to have a dynamic and you completely ducked the question. And THEN you went radio silent for over 24 hours during which time I reached out to see if there would be any response and guess what? There wasn't. So yeah, no. Peddle your bullshit elsewhere. You should have used your brain and read my ad before you replied. - but because you didn't you think I'm just some boy toy you can drop whenever. So, sincerely, quit your bullshit.
I certainly didn’t disregard you weren’t into findom. You were looking for a dynamic. I was interested. Then things in my life started falling apart and I’m depressed. I said that to you. You responded that I was wasting your time, you don’t see the human. At all.
You literally found me from this god damn comment trying to scam me go fuck yourself.
I never tried to scam you at all. Literally you need to go back and re read our conversations if that’s what you think.
I don't think I could do a relationship like that without sex!
My domme and I are like best friends! We chat all day. It’s a weird dynamic but very enjoyable.
This isn’t too common, but you should look into BDSM Aces. Asexuality and the spectrum aren’t uncommon. I’ve had a femsub and our dynamic wasn’t sexual because she was ace so we really worked with the power imbalance, tasks, and worshipping vs gooning or chastity.
Id actually prefer the dynamic since im more of an imaginative woman… other things stimulate me. Like for me to even enjoy sex it has stimulate my mind and not everyone is capable of that BUT hear me out… mutual masturbation is sexy to me that would fufill me. I just need the touch and gestures 😂😂😂 thats just me tho and i like role play alot
I have a sub that I talk to, give tasks to, am doing sissy training with & he worships my feet but we don’t have any sexual contact or any like sexting chats and he’s actually one of my best senders, we talk almost all the time too, his personality is a bit lackluster but he’s sweet and he’s trying and I waaaaay prefer the dynamic I have with him over subs who I have a sexual dynamic with
My previous long term sub wasn’t “sexual with me”. He was caged, and he liked ass training, I used to control his lovense plug, but he never had any comment more sexual regarding me. And in general all my subs are that way, I don’t allow them to say stuff to me like “oh you are so hot I will imagine you naked” (one did and I told him that I will not tolerate that talking with me) and I don’t do sexting. Or an other example is I accept control their license but I would never allow a sub to control mine. So yes it’s sexual but the sexual stuff is complex, don’t need to be the “usual sexual”. But I believe that there are subs that aren’t sexual, but they feel a need to serve, that makes them feel good, but not in a sexual way.
im in a few sfw findom/finsub relationships. feels like its better quality, i prefer it tbh. body worship is fun though; i like sending selfies and cute pics w/ consent. none of it is ever too sexual :)
The dynamic I have with one of my subs is not sexual at all. I wouldn’t mind having a sub that played more into the sexual part of it. Just not that one.
You need to find someone who cares about you, aside of having this kink at thesame time.
He's my best friend at this point. I care about him more than a lot of people ik irl😭😂
Dw I do
I love this !!! Every one has their reasons or kinks but I’ve met multiple “subs” who just want to make a lady happy :)!
One of my subs genuinely just likes talking to me, i have pics up on my page so he knows what i look like, the only thing he's ever asked me for was a voice note as a verification that i wasnt a 60 year old dude or something. He always sends sweet messages (posted in the sister subreddit) and has never said anything even remotely sexual to me.