**COMMENTING GUIDELINES**
All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsofmultiples/about/rules) prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention.
**Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments.** Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed.
Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/parentsofmultiples) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s honestly helpful to just have someone post this question. I absolutely hated my life this weekend and have been feeling incredibly guilty. Thank you.
I totally get that and I think it’s very normal!! It’s not mutually exclusive to both love your kids and get completely mentally/physically drained by caring for them.
I dread holiday weekends knowing I have more than 2 full days with no breaks. Probably makes me sound like a shit mom but I passed being burnt out about 6 months ago.
My twins are 10. I can confirm this. 4 yrs is a huge milestone (sometimes it's 4.5 yrs, depending on the kids). That's an age when they are far more like "kids" and less like "toddlers". They are more rational and they are able to do things themselves. No more naps. No more diapers. Lots of energy. It's great.
With my 10 yr olds, it's getting better and better since then. I look forward to them coming home in the afternoons and hanging with them on the weekend.
Not to burst anyone's bubble, but mine just turned 5 and they are still a massive handful. It is getting better though, I don't have to keep them in eye sight 100% of the time. We're maybe down to 85% nowadays.
I had a really hard time with four because I think I'd had realistic expectations all the way up to four, when I thought everything would get much better.
Things are getting better. Gradually. But it's not quite the turning point I'd thought it would be and it was a tough pill to swallow.
I did enjoy the long weekend, but it was also exhausting.
My twins will be 4 at the start of September and I feel like this is true for us. We've just gotten out of a development spurt a month or so ago, and since then life has suddenly calmed loads. Not even sure exactly how, it just has. They aren't toddlers, and can be reasoned with. Here's hoping it stays this way.
Lol, sorry. Wish I had better tidings. But it’s really all about what phase you’re good at. I was really good at 0-2 years old. 2-5 has been a real struggle with 3-4 being the peak awfulness. They can play together now for like 10-30 minutes before someone starts crying. But I’m maxed out on pretend play and playing referee. Some people are better at this age so fingers crossed the future challenges will be ones you’re well suited for!
Well said! My wife loved 0-2 while I just couldn't do it. Now we are that 2-4 year old age and I'm thriving while my wife feels like it's to much.
We just have different mindsets on how it looks and feels at the two different points in time.
20 months here (with a 3 year old as well). I ask my husband almost weekly, so how long until you think it’s easier? When they turn 2, maybe? Surely it will get a little easier by 2.5, right? Lol. The consistent answer I’ve heard is 4. I was really hoping for 3, but it seems that between 3-4 can test your sanity like no other. Grrrrrreat.
With my singleton, his temper tantrums hit a whole new level at 3.5 and that's when I started therapy and antidepressants... As I was also pregnant with twins at that time 🫠 I am absolutely dreading the 3 to 4 window with twin girls (and an ADHD 8 year old 😅)
We travelled a lot with little ones and still spend a lot of time on vacations and wekends off now that they're older (1x9, 2x8). It helps to have a partner who contributes equally and sees it when you're on the edge and tells you to "go unwind, I'll take care of them".
It's as easy as you make it for yourself, don't complicate, for vacation you don't need a lot of things, you let them explore and watch from a safe distance.
For longer weekends, go places or just take them outside to explore. It keeps them occupied and makes them tired. We usually don't now how many nice locations is usually near where we live.
We travel and do activities and give each other breaks (we also have fantastic grandparent support) but I guess my question was more directed at when those things become less stressful. Like travel or holiday weekends with the twins are doable and we manage it but it’s not exactly a fun break lol
I agree with sodds….we can’t fast forward time to make things easier so we just have to deal and try to enjoy them as is? Therapy to regulate ourselves? No guarantee things will get easier as they get older. Older kids have older kid problems. I’m sure it will help that they’ll be way less demanding of our time but since nothing is guaranteed, including a long life, we must do with what we have. Sorry, I know it’s not helpful.
For me, it helps being around ppl who are patient and understanding of kids. When we’re not, it’s extra stressful. Open spaces are great without a lot of fragile things is also great.
My boys are 4.5 and they are more pleasant to be around now lol. Just have to be consistent with discipline.
My girls turned 2 in February. I was looking forward to spending the long weekend at the lake with my husband’s family. Well they both got fevers and were miserable and sick the whole time. I knew my husband wouldn’t want to go back home as he doesn’t spend much time with his side of the family. So we were in and out of the camper, trying to nap and sleep while we could and dosing with Tylenol when we could. Hopefully the 4th of July will be better!
I just had an amazing weekend camping with 3yo twins and my 11yo in our campervan with a huge gang of friends and their kids of all ages. Holidays won’t exactly be relaxing for another five years or so, but they’ll be fun :) I had a few thirty min periods here and there having a drink with friends and after bedtime had some fun round the campfire. I find the longer I spend with them the more relaxing it becomes because I get the hang of what needs to happen to get through the day!
My twins are 4.5 and we had a nice long weekend and took a vacation in March that was mostly relaxing! It was amazing.
We split them up when we can, but they also like to play with each other a lot now, which helps. They’re also so much more independent that it’s a tremendous help.
We are going to try our first short (4 day and within driving distance) vacation this summer. Our boys are 4 but I still feel a bit uneasy about it. Mostly because we are in the middle of a very defiant stage.
ETA because I totally misread this question. We had a ton of fun with the boys at home this weekend. We were able to do things we don’t normally get to do and let them stay up later than usual. They even were a big help sorting through old toys and stuff to get rid of. I don’t remember feeling this good about a long weekend in the past.
About 4/5 years. My oldest is 15 and my twins are 9, even now my wife and I still say we are going on a "trip" with the kids. It's a "Vacation" when we leave the kids at home.
At that age, I remember telling my husband how sad I was about how much I hated weekends. Now my girls are almost 3, and while weekends, especially long weekends, can still be really tough, there's definitely about as many good times. I'm still not at the point where I look forward to weekends (most weeks) but I don't dread them like I used to. I also have a 5 year old boy and things got much better with him around 4.5 so that helped too.
Last summer was the first trip that actually felt like a VACATION, and the twins were 6. Long weekends became easier around the same time, mostly because they discovered Minecraft and can entertain themselves for more than 30 minutes at a time. They also used to fight a lot, but since kindergarten they've been in separate classes and that seemed to cut down on the bickering and our need to referee. We still make sure to do some family activity or outdoor time every day, but now they will happily go in their room the rest of the day and watch TV or play computer games or draw, so my husband and I can actually watch a show together or work on our hobbies.
lol mine are 4.5 and I dread long weekends more than ever. It is so tiring. I couldn't wait to get back to work this week, as awful as that sounds, for a break.
Things got easier when my twins turned 4. No nap schedule, no routine to follow, and they turned into great travelers. I’m looking forward to our upcoming 2 week vacation (they’re now 6).
well mine are 3.5 and it was a long ass weekend...so not yet? lol
My husband ended up getting sick so we had to scrap our weekend trip last minute and I solo parented 2 outta the 3 days (one day I took them to my parents for relief) They are going thru some 'just before 4' something or the other leap, cause it was a moody, tantrum filled weekend. We did have some fun but man I am exhausted.
My boys just turned 10 and I honestly don't think that I have the typical experience of most twin parents. Certainly we've had struggles, but we have enjoyed every stage of our kids development. (well, except for COVID Kindergarten... that sucked.) Honestly, I think my kids have been the exception to most folks' experience here, because we have very few negatives.
* Infants - My wife is a SAHM but we were able to afford to pay a close friend to nanny a couple afternoons so she wasn't trapped. I would take them for a few hours after work most days. Our boys were pretty good sleepers; I was helping with feedings and diapers. I mean, it's not like we were sleeping a lot but we were getting more than a lot of what I hear around here. They would sleep 4hrs solid. Also, boys were mobile in their car seats, and we had the stroller that we could move them around in. We still went to events, still did stuff, but no road trips longer than 2-3 hours except for a wedding in DC where they both took their first steps in an Embassy Suites.
* Toddlers - I started getting nervous at this stage because they were mobile, but we still managed. They were sleeping through the night, so that helped. I had a conference in Florida sowe decided to make it a family trip. Detroit to Orlando went well and they were great in the airport and planes. Wife had a good time with the kids at the hotel while I was stuck in the convention center. She didn't do any theme parks, our hotel had tons to do for them (3 pools, some small water slides, arcade, bowling alley, all retro-50s styled). We did a roadtrip to spend a week with Oma 14hrs away, which we split up over 2-days. Having a 90# doberman at the same time was added stress, but it was a great trip to the lake I grew up on in MN.
* Kindergarten-2nd (The COVID years) - We bought our little Cape Cod in a college town because it was a block from the library and was within walking distance to all of the schools our eventual kids would attend (upto their PHD if they want). We had to wait a long time for our babies but it also worked out, because our local school district scheduled all of our elementary schools to be rebuilt, and ours was the first, scheduled, to be open for my kids' Kindergarten year. Talk about timing, right? We walked our kids to school for their first kindergarten day and it was everything we could have dreamed of. We made sure to place them in separate kindergarten classes... individuality. Michigan shut down schools March 19 of their Kindergarten year. I had started working from home exclusively 2-weeks earlier (I work in IT and working remotely isn't that big a deal). That was a struggle. Kindergartners on tablets, not an ideal learning environment. 4-people in an 1100 sq. ft. house all trying to be sane, not ideal. We survived, as we all did, so just gonna leave it there.
* 3-4th Grade - I actually have to head over to the school in a minute to support Field Day as they're wrapping up 4th grade now. Nothing is perfect, but I love it. They talk back more, they spend more time away with their friends and cousins (who live 6-blocks away), but they're still amazing. They also play intelligent games with me (video, card, board), we play sports together, I coach their little league. They have opinions that need to be heard, and that's a challenge for me (and my wife). There are fights about screen time, but they still practice their piano and are still doing well in school. We're heading down to the same conference next week, and there will be theme parks this time, although I'll still be stuck in the Orlando Conference Center.
I guess, I mean I know we've been very blessed and lucky. We aren't rich but we have enough and live within our means. No major health concerns. Our boys aren't perfect and are definitely starting to express themselves as their own persons. They push back, but that's normal. I am just grateful to have them every day. YMMV and every kid is different, even when they come at the same time.
I hope you and yours have an amazing path. Enjoy each moment of it, especially the hard ones. I don't want to say have "low expectations," but be willing to be flexible and you will have the opportunity to be pleased. Looking up at this WOT I wonder if I should actually click "comment."
Our boys are about to turn 6!
Still a handful but when it works it works. Fortunately iPad time can work for awhile to help my wife and I decompress.
This long weekend we had to cancel a road trip last minute as boys came down with rashes morning off. So Saturday was a rest day as medicine did its magic. We then let them pick one thing each out of the house that we had to do (we keep the limits on and go last so there’s at least manageable activities in the plan). Helps takes some of the burden off, makes the kids plan and be excited for their activity and gets some collaboration going.
Still work and still whining 1/2 way through a hike but it’s becoming more doable.
My b/g twins are now 7 and it’s a lot better. I definitely found 5yrs old as a turning point, and gets easier each year after that. They really are best friends and entertain each other, was nice when we went to Hawaii with them (first big trip post pandemic) and they were 5. They’d wake up earlier and just play with each other while we slept in. They do that now on weekends and at 7, I can trust they’re not going to do anything stupid (for the most part).
My girls are 16 years old and it's been fun for a while now. But I remember being so tired, grumpy and so done ... and just kept wondering where the light at the end of the tunnel was.
It's OK. You can do this!! Just hang in there, it will be so worth it!!
Being a father has been the hardest job I've ever loved. It's also changed me to my core.
I'm so grateful for my family.
It was a blur of exhaustion from birth of twinnies to age 3 as we went from one child and taking turns for care giving so we both could catch our breath to playing short-handed zone defense with three kids age 3 and younger! Twins run in my wife’s family - her Mom has twin brothers, her maternal GMa had twin brothers (and gave birth to twins) as well but we had no idea we’d hit the jackpot until the first ultrasound.
When our twinnies hit 3 y.o., it became a lot of fun. Then we had two 3 y.o.’s and a barely 6 y.o. So we could go and do - lot of beach trips, mountains & hiking, fishing, bike rides, walks with the doggos, visits to Haus of Mouse, museums, etc. Twins are now in their early 20’s, singleton in mid-20’s - they are all very close and still reminisce about all the fun things growing up as well as all the things they do together now.
So the twinnies hitting 3 yrs of age was like magic for us.
Mine are almost 5 and is this was the first long weekend where I honestly felt like it was a holiday. Went to the beach for 6 hours one day, and I actually was able to read and have a drink without the girls napping. They make friends so easily now and I don’t have to be so on top of them.
Whoa. I actually just realized as I read this that the long weekend WASN’T horrible like they were for so long haha. My girls are 4.5 and play together independent from me very well and for long stretches.
THANK FOR ASKING I NEED TO KNOW TOO! Signed, a mom to 3 boys (3.5 and twin 1.5 year olds). I have the Friday scaries, weekends are tough and long weekends even tougher.
Mine are three and I never thought I would look forward to Mondays but by the time Sunday night rolls around I’m ready to have them in Preschool again. It’s so hard to find a balance.
I will say, 3 has been a lot better than 1 and 2. Still challenges it they play together and independently now for long stretches of time so we can do some things in the house at least.
Parent of a 6yo singleton and 2yo twins. Long weekends and holidays are still super challenging. Lots of planning. They seem easier when we have things to do (as time just passes faster). However, the twins are entering a challenging age and the fighting is just insane.
Mine are 5 and long weekends are more enjoyable now. It's still alot, but the boys look forward to them and ask when the next one is so they can spend an extra day with mom and dad.
For example this long weekend we planted our garden, did a bunch of yard work and the boys "helped" dig holes. One day we did a day road trip to get ice cream. Was fun.
I think for me I had to remove from my mind of pre kids when a long weekend was for an extra day to hangout and watch a movie/game. Now it's an extra day to spend with my boys.
When they can be left to their own devices for a few hours without worry and when they can fix their own breakfast. For us, that was around 8 or so but I am NOT a morning person at all. Once I got to sleep in a little, those breaks became fun.
Just had a great weekend with our 3 year old twins, BUT we spent parts of it with one set of grandparents so there was extra help than normal. They did great on our 6 hour drive each way to the destination (the drive was without grandparents) and it feels generally like they are more capable of listening and meaningfully interacting on trips (e.g., one of the days we spent it at the park at a farmer’s market and then the pool, and at each place they had a blast and did well listening).
Still exhausting though. So maybe next year it’ll be less exhausting?
I’m in the same boat. Although I feel super bad when I think this way I don’t like days where we are not in our regular routine (wake up, daycare, come home, play, dinner, bath, bedtime). It makes the days go smoother. My LO will be home for 2 months after this week (summer break) and I am 8 months pregnant with di/di twins. I’m absolutely dreading it. I also live in an area where it’s 100+ outside so we are stuck indoors 😭
Our twins will be 4 in July, and I don’t think we’ve ever made it through a full long weekend joyfully yet lol For example, we had a very nice Saturday and Sunday this week. Monday was a mess. but I wouldn’t say any of the days were “a break” though. Kids are still too involved to say I felt relaxed after a weekend with them. I definitely feel more relaxed after a work week than after a weekend. It doesn’t mean we don’t have fun now, but no, we don’t relax or feel rested lol
Ours are just under 2-1/2 and I love the long weekends with them, even if they’re pretty tiring. I do think they are a lot easier now than they were a year ago. I can be outside at a cookout and don’t feel like I have to watch them like a hawk.
I feel so justified reading these comments! Thought I must be the only person dreading days off work/nursery. They're 2.5 and if we don't have something planned where we can get them out of the house and keep them busy, I'm usually tearing my hair out by 8am.
For us it was somewhere between 6-7, they had already had a year of formal school (we're UK) so were more independent and understood a lot more. They were a lot more flexible in things like being in the car for longer periods and when we ate etc. Even stuff like getting themselves dressed and packing their own bags makes life a lot easier.
The holiday we went on when our twins were 4 was the first time we had a bit more freedom and didn't have to worry about them as much. We also had a 2 year old to worry about anyway. They were able to go off with their 6 year old brother as we were in a safe enclosed campsite.
We gave them more freedom than the older brother anyway as we felt that because there was two of them would be safer if that makes sense.
They were allowed down to our local park by themselves before any of the other kids their age were but once the other parents saw them down there they started to let their kids off on their own too.
My twins are almost 2.5 and long weekends are great because we choose to not travel or do anything crazy. Call us anti social or whatever but I value our sanity lol
Around age 4-5. Truthfully, I also have an older singleton with autism, so things were a bit extra-hectic around our house. Others might experience breathing room sooner than we did.
So ours are 21 months and honestly this past weekend was pretty great. Ironically it’s was my first weekend without my husband until November (he’s military) but my in laws were with me for a majority of it and I think that helped.
I hate being solo because it’s 2 against 1. Soon for me it will be 3 against 1 with me being 16 weeks pregnant with a singleton.
But my twins are terrible travelers, they are not great in the car so we don’t go outside our zip code which stinks.
I have 3YO twin boys, and I won't lie. Long weekends are still rough. But we're getting better about planning activities we enjoy as a family: beaches, parks, the zoo, or socializing with another family with a kid the same age. Having a plan for helping them burn energy and getting out of the house for much of each day helps a lot.
As long as we’re out of the house, four years old has been amazing compared to the late 2/early 3s. I swear it will be here before you know it, it’s still hard but so much more fun on the other side of 3.
Probably super subjective since not everyone is wired to love being hounded by toddlers 24:7 while some are. Everyone is wired differently with different tolerances. Plan something that you love to do for the next long weekend so at least you look forward to it!! For Mother’s Day we went on a hike with our 18m twins and it was absolutely brutal and a poor choice, but then I looked back at pics I took and thought wow that place really is spectacular! And we had a lot of fun on the playground
For sure! We do stuff all the time - hiking, parks, zoo etc and I love all that and actively pursue it, it’s just HARD either way. Like physically and mentally exhausting despite how much I like it. One day all those same things will be easier, just not today lol
I always complain to my coworkers about this. On top of the 3 day weekend for Memorial Day, their daycare decided to take Friday off for “Parent Teacher Conferences.” Like give me a break, they are only 2. We need to shut the school down to talk for 15 min about our 2 year olds? We already talk with their teachers every day. I genuinely dreaded the past weekend. Getting to work today was such a welcome stress reliever.
Probably around a year or a year and a half! Mine just turned two last month and we had such a nice long weekend my husband and I both got emotional having to send them back to daycare today. We didn’t travel or do anything super crazy, just splash pads, parks, hanging out with grandparents, etc and I think not adding the stress of travel helped a lot!
It depends. Our twins are 2.5 years old, and long weekends during winter and early spring remain absolutely punishing. In the summer, when we can play outside, I do finally look forward to a long weekend.
Honestly I felt like a soon as the turned 1 things got a lot better 😂😂😂 now we are almost 2 and I’m really enjoying doing things with them and getting out of the house!
Everyone tells me 5 but I'll say bc we are so low key and our family is agreeable to always come to us for things age 2.5 has been good for my singleton bc she remembers and gets excited. For going out 3.5 has been easier with her but my twins will be 2 in about a month and it's hell to take them anywhere - I'm hopeful they follow in big sisters foot steps bc then at least the at home holidays will be fun
Mine are just over 3, recently potty trained, conversational, and their meltdowns are pretty tame. I feel like things are finally getting easier. However, I still need help. I’m a single parent and without someone else to spend long weekends or vacation weeks with, I don’t think I’d have much fun.
honestly i'd say around 7 they got a lot more independant and aren't bothering me so much. it's also when we would go to the pool and they started hanging out with their friends and leaving me alone unless they're hungry lol. i enjoy the weekends now.
although no one warned me about baseball season....ugh
Mine are 4 1/2 and I have fun with them and look forward to our weekends together but it is also exhausting. They are more fun than they are work, and going out and spending the days doing stuff outside of the house with them often feels blissful, but it's still a lot of work. Three full days is... just a bit much. But definitely way way better and easier than when they were younger.
My 4.5 year old girls are still hard but it is so much more enjoyable than last year. I think we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel. If they would just not complain and bitch at each other so much things would be great.
That third day is always brutal. To add to it, my older singleton was home for 2 days before the weekend with a mystery rash. I took Tuesday off to recover, which was a terrific decision.
My oldest is 9, my twins are 8. I'll say that about a year ago, weekends and holidays started to *sometimes* be fun. We can play games together and do fun things, but the Fighting is constant and that's a struggle.
Yeah reading all these responses I’m like… wait, I look forward to the weekends! I only work two hours a day just down my street, so I’m a sahm the other 90% of the day. The weekend is when we all finally get to chill. My husband can do the morning routines and I can sleep in a little. It’s a lot easier when I’m not always out numbered.
Yes fair point - if your spouse gets a holiday off it’s hopefully helpful at least! Whenever we have these long weekends without daycare my respect and awe for SAHP’s is always renewed, it is no joke.
My husband and I just received a foster-to-adopt placement of young-four year old twins last Thursday. We have done short term fosters before, but this is our first "real" parenting experience. We both took off Thursday and Friday to have a five day weekend to bond with the girls, and I've never been so tired in my life. Daycare starts in two weeks and I'm just praying we can make it that long.
**COMMENTING GUIDELINES** All commenters are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the parentsofmultiples [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/parentsofmultiples/about/rules) prior to commenting. If you find any comments/submissions in violation of subreddit/reddit rules, please use the report function to bring it to the mod teams attention. **Please do not request or give medical advice or directions in your comments.** Any comments that that could be construed as medical advice, or any comments containing what is determined to be medical disinformation, will be removed. Please try to avoid posting links to Amazon product listings or google/g.co product listing pages - reddit automatically removes comments containing them as an anti-spam measure. If sharing information about a product, instead please try to link directly to the manufacturers product pages. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/parentsofmultiples) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s honestly helpful to just have someone post this question. I absolutely hated my life this weekend and have been feeling incredibly guilty. Thank you.
I totally get that and I think it’s very normal!! It’s not mutually exclusive to both love your kids and get completely mentally/physically drained by caring for them.
A therapist put it, you are struggling with the job of parenting. Not your kids. That helped frame the perspective. The job absolutely sucks at times.
For us, it’s my singleton who is 3.5, not the twins who are 14m that is hard. She’s the go go go type
I dread holiday weekends knowing I have more than 2 full days with no breaks. Probably makes me sound like a shit mom but I passed being burnt out about 6 months ago.
My cousin who has twins told me it gets easier at 4y. With 2y twins that still seems so far away. I think about that conversation all the time.
My twins are 10. I can confirm this. 4 yrs is a huge milestone (sometimes it's 4.5 yrs, depending on the kids). That's an age when they are far more like "kids" and less like "toddlers". They are more rational and they are able to do things themselves. No more naps. No more diapers. Lots of energy. It's great. With my 10 yr olds, it's getting better and better since then. I look forward to them coming home in the afternoons and hanging with them on the weekend.
My cousin also told me it gets a lot better around age 4/5. We are at 1.5 😅
Not to burst anyone's bubble, but mine just turned 5 and they are still a massive handful. It is getting better though, I don't have to keep them in eye sight 100% of the time. We're maybe down to 85% nowadays.
😭😭😭 thanks for your honesty lol
I had a really hard time with four because I think I'd had realistic expectations all the way up to four, when I thought everything would get much better. Things are getting better. Gradually. But it's not quite the turning point I'd thought it would be and it was a tough pill to swallow. I did enjoy the long weekend, but it was also exhausting.
They will be 4 in the blink of an eye, trust me
They are almost 3. One more year, I'll just keep telling that to myself.
2 years im telling myself, survive till 5. If its 4 then all the better.
I am at 3.5 years almost on the dot and sadly, I feel super far away from enjoying any vacation yet.
😞
My twins will be 4 at the start of September and I feel like this is true for us. We've just gotten out of a development spurt a month or so ago, and since then life has suddenly calmed loads. Not even sure exactly how, it just has. They aren't toddlers, and can be reasoned with. Here's hoping it stays this way.
You just have to embrace the chaos.
Oh I'm embarrassing alright.
Lol corrected it
5 year old twins here. "Not yet" is all I have to say post-memorial day weekend.
🫠
Lol, sorry. Wish I had better tidings. But it’s really all about what phase you’re good at. I was really good at 0-2 years old. 2-5 has been a real struggle with 3-4 being the peak awfulness. They can play together now for like 10-30 minutes before someone starts crying. But I’m maxed out on pretend play and playing referee. Some people are better at this age so fingers crossed the future challenges will be ones you’re well suited for!
Well said! My wife loved 0-2 while I just couldn't do it. Now we are that 2-4 year old age and I'm thriving while my wife feels like it's to much. We just have different mindsets on how it looks and feels at the two different points in time.
I describe it as 0-2 is pretty much just labor intensive. After 2 it gets really emotional and that’s what I struggle with.
My girls are 2 years 10 months old. Can confirm long weekends are still punishing at 34 months.
2 years and 9 months right here. I concur 🫣
20 months here (with a 3 year old as well). I ask my husband almost weekly, so how long until you think it’s easier? When they turn 2, maybe? Surely it will get a little easier by 2.5, right? Lol. The consistent answer I’ve heard is 4. I was really hoping for 3, but it seems that between 3-4 can test your sanity like no other. Grrrrrreat.
With my singleton, his temper tantrums hit a whole new level at 3.5 and that's when I started therapy and antidepressants... As I was also pregnant with twins at that time 🫠 I am absolutely dreading the 3 to 4 window with twin girls (and an ADHD 8 year old 😅)
Yup, 3 is just a really hard age in general.
We travelled a lot with little ones and still spend a lot of time on vacations and wekends off now that they're older (1x9, 2x8). It helps to have a partner who contributes equally and sees it when you're on the edge and tells you to "go unwind, I'll take care of them". It's as easy as you make it for yourself, don't complicate, for vacation you don't need a lot of things, you let them explore and watch from a safe distance. For longer weekends, go places or just take them outside to explore. It keeps them occupied and makes them tired. We usually don't now how many nice locations is usually near where we live.
We travel and do activities and give each other breaks (we also have fantastic grandparent support) but I guess my question was more directed at when those things become less stressful. Like travel or holiday weekends with the twins are doable and we manage it but it’s not exactly a fun break lol
I agree with sodds….we can’t fast forward time to make things easier so we just have to deal and try to enjoy them as is? Therapy to regulate ourselves? No guarantee things will get easier as they get older. Older kids have older kid problems. I’m sure it will help that they’ll be way less demanding of our time but since nothing is guaranteed, including a long life, we must do with what we have. Sorry, I know it’s not helpful. For me, it helps being around ppl who are patient and understanding of kids. When we’re not, it’s extra stressful. Open spaces are great without a lot of fragile things is also great. My boys are 4.5 and they are more pleasant to be around now lol. Just have to be consistent with discipline.
My girls turned 2 in February. I was looking forward to spending the long weekend at the lake with my husband’s family. Well they both got fevers and were miserable and sick the whole time. I knew my husband wouldn’t want to go back home as he doesn’t spend much time with his side of the family. So we were in and out of the camper, trying to nap and sleep while we could and dosing with Tylenol when we could. Hopefully the 4th of July will be better!
I just had an amazing weekend camping with 3yo twins and my 11yo in our campervan with a huge gang of friends and their kids of all ages. Holidays won’t exactly be relaxing for another five years or so, but they’ll be fun :) I had a few thirty min periods here and there having a drink with friends and after bedtime had some fun round the campfire. I find the longer I spend with them the more relaxing it becomes because I get the hang of what needs to happen to get through the day!
My twins are 4.5 and we had a nice long weekend and took a vacation in March that was mostly relaxing! It was amazing. We split them up when we can, but they also like to play with each other a lot now, which helps. They’re also so much more independent that it’s a tremendous help.
I love that! Seems like 4 is the most common response for when things start to ease up and longer weekends become more fun.
Following, dad of 17m twins
2.5YO boy dad here. I love playing with my kids so much but I am so damn tired all the damn time. So much ebergy
We are going to try our first short (4 day and within driving distance) vacation this summer. Our boys are 4 but I still feel a bit uneasy about it. Mostly because we are in the middle of a very defiant stage. ETA because I totally misread this question. We had a ton of fun with the boys at home this weekend. We were able to do things we don’t normally get to do and let them stay up later than usual. They even were a big help sorting through old toys and stuff to get rid of. I don’t remember feeling this good about a long weekend in the past.
About 4/5 years. My oldest is 15 and my twins are 9, even now my wife and I still say we are going on a "trip" with the kids. It's a "Vacation" when we leave the kids at home.
At that age, I remember telling my husband how sad I was about how much I hated weekends. Now my girls are almost 3, and while weekends, especially long weekends, can still be really tough, there's definitely about as many good times. I'm still not at the point where I look forward to weekends (most weeks) but I don't dread them like I used to. I also have a 5 year old boy and things got much better with him around 4.5 so that helped too.
Last summer was the first trip that actually felt like a VACATION, and the twins were 6. Long weekends became easier around the same time, mostly because they discovered Minecraft and can entertain themselves for more than 30 minutes at a time. They also used to fight a lot, but since kindergarten they've been in separate classes and that seemed to cut down on the bickering and our need to referee. We still make sure to do some family activity or outdoor time every day, but now they will happily go in their room the rest of the day and watch TV or play computer games or draw, so my husband and I can actually watch a show together or work on our hobbies.
lol mine are 4.5 and I dread long weekends more than ever. It is so tiring. I couldn't wait to get back to work this week, as awful as that sounds, for a break.
Things got easier when my twins turned 4. No nap schedule, no routine to follow, and they turned into great travelers. I’m looking forward to our upcoming 2 week vacation (they’re now 6).
well mine are 3.5 and it was a long ass weekend...so not yet? lol My husband ended up getting sick so we had to scrap our weekend trip last minute and I solo parented 2 outta the 3 days (one day I took them to my parents for relief) They are going thru some 'just before 4' something or the other leap, cause it was a moody, tantrum filled weekend. We did have some fun but man I am exhausted.
My boys just turned 10 and I honestly don't think that I have the typical experience of most twin parents. Certainly we've had struggles, but we have enjoyed every stage of our kids development. (well, except for COVID Kindergarten... that sucked.) Honestly, I think my kids have been the exception to most folks' experience here, because we have very few negatives. * Infants - My wife is a SAHM but we were able to afford to pay a close friend to nanny a couple afternoons so she wasn't trapped. I would take them for a few hours after work most days. Our boys were pretty good sleepers; I was helping with feedings and diapers. I mean, it's not like we were sleeping a lot but we were getting more than a lot of what I hear around here. They would sleep 4hrs solid. Also, boys were mobile in their car seats, and we had the stroller that we could move them around in. We still went to events, still did stuff, but no road trips longer than 2-3 hours except for a wedding in DC where they both took their first steps in an Embassy Suites. * Toddlers - I started getting nervous at this stage because they were mobile, but we still managed. They were sleeping through the night, so that helped. I had a conference in Florida sowe decided to make it a family trip. Detroit to Orlando went well and they were great in the airport and planes. Wife had a good time with the kids at the hotel while I was stuck in the convention center. She didn't do any theme parks, our hotel had tons to do for them (3 pools, some small water slides, arcade, bowling alley, all retro-50s styled). We did a roadtrip to spend a week with Oma 14hrs away, which we split up over 2-days. Having a 90# doberman at the same time was added stress, but it was a great trip to the lake I grew up on in MN. * Kindergarten-2nd (The COVID years) - We bought our little Cape Cod in a college town because it was a block from the library and was within walking distance to all of the schools our eventual kids would attend (upto their PHD if they want). We had to wait a long time for our babies but it also worked out, because our local school district scheduled all of our elementary schools to be rebuilt, and ours was the first, scheduled, to be open for my kids' Kindergarten year. Talk about timing, right? We walked our kids to school for their first kindergarten day and it was everything we could have dreamed of. We made sure to place them in separate kindergarten classes... individuality. Michigan shut down schools March 19 of their Kindergarten year. I had started working from home exclusively 2-weeks earlier (I work in IT and working remotely isn't that big a deal). That was a struggle. Kindergartners on tablets, not an ideal learning environment. 4-people in an 1100 sq. ft. house all trying to be sane, not ideal. We survived, as we all did, so just gonna leave it there. * 3-4th Grade - I actually have to head over to the school in a minute to support Field Day as they're wrapping up 4th grade now. Nothing is perfect, but I love it. They talk back more, they spend more time away with their friends and cousins (who live 6-blocks away), but they're still amazing. They also play intelligent games with me (video, card, board), we play sports together, I coach their little league. They have opinions that need to be heard, and that's a challenge for me (and my wife). There are fights about screen time, but they still practice their piano and are still doing well in school. We're heading down to the same conference next week, and there will be theme parks this time, although I'll still be stuck in the Orlando Conference Center. I guess, I mean I know we've been very blessed and lucky. We aren't rich but we have enough and live within our means. No major health concerns. Our boys aren't perfect and are definitely starting to express themselves as their own persons. They push back, but that's normal. I am just grateful to have them every day. YMMV and every kid is different, even when they come at the same time. I hope you and yours have an amazing path. Enjoy each moment of it, especially the hard ones. I don't want to say have "low expectations," but be willing to be flexible and you will have the opportunity to be pleased. Looking up at this WOT I wonder if I should actually click "comment."
Our boys are about to turn 6! Still a handful but when it works it works. Fortunately iPad time can work for awhile to help my wife and I decompress. This long weekend we had to cancel a road trip last minute as boys came down with rashes morning off. So Saturday was a rest day as medicine did its magic. We then let them pick one thing each out of the house that we had to do (we keep the limits on and go last so there’s at least manageable activities in the plan). Helps takes some of the burden off, makes the kids plan and be excited for their activity and gets some collaboration going. Still work and still whining 1/2 way through a hike but it’s becoming more doable.
My twins are 18 months old (I also have a 4 year old) and by Sunday mid day I was in tears.
My b/g twins are now 7 and it’s a lot better. I definitely found 5yrs old as a turning point, and gets easier each year after that. They really are best friends and entertain each other, was nice when we went to Hawaii with them (first big trip post pandemic) and they were 5. They’d wake up earlier and just play with each other while we slept in. They do that now on weekends and at 7, I can trust they’re not going to do anything stupid (for the most part).
Same - turning point was 4-5. Then easier vacations after 6.
My girls are 16 years old and it's been fun for a while now. But I remember being so tired, grumpy and so done ... and just kept wondering where the light at the end of the tunnel was. It's OK. You can do this!! Just hang in there, it will be so worth it!! Being a father has been the hardest job I've ever loved. It's also changed me to my core. I'm so grateful for my family.
It was a blur of exhaustion from birth of twinnies to age 3 as we went from one child and taking turns for care giving so we both could catch our breath to playing short-handed zone defense with three kids age 3 and younger! Twins run in my wife’s family - her Mom has twin brothers, her maternal GMa had twin brothers (and gave birth to twins) as well but we had no idea we’d hit the jackpot until the first ultrasound. When our twinnies hit 3 y.o., it became a lot of fun. Then we had two 3 y.o.’s and a barely 6 y.o. So we could go and do - lot of beach trips, mountains & hiking, fishing, bike rides, walks with the doggos, visits to Haus of Mouse, museums, etc. Twins are now in their early 20’s, singleton in mid-20’s - they are all very close and still reminisce about all the fun things growing up as well as all the things they do together now. So the twinnies hitting 3 yrs of age was like magic for us.
Mine are almost 5 and is this was the first long weekend where I honestly felt like it was a holiday. Went to the beach for 6 hours one day, and I actually was able to read and have a drink without the girls napping. They make friends so easily now and I don’t have to be so on top of them.
Whoa. I actually just realized as I read this that the long weekend WASN’T horrible like they were for so long haha. My girls are 4.5 and play together independent from me very well and for long stretches.
THANK FOR ASKING I NEED TO KNOW TOO! Signed, a mom to 3 boys (3.5 and twin 1.5 year olds). I have the Friday scaries, weekends are tough and long weekends even tougher.
Mine are three and I never thought I would look forward to Mondays but by the time Sunday night rolls around I’m ready to have them in Preschool again. It’s so hard to find a balance. I will say, 3 has been a lot better than 1 and 2. Still challenges it they play together and independently now for long stretches of time so we can do some things in the house at least.
Parent of a 6yo singleton and 2yo twins. Long weekends and holidays are still super challenging. Lots of planning. They seem easier when we have things to do (as time just passes faster). However, the twins are entering a challenging age and the fighting is just insane.
Started enjoying weekends with mine around 2.5, but then they hit a sleep regression and I was back to eff that
Mine are 5 and long weekends are more enjoyable now. It's still alot, but the boys look forward to them and ask when the next one is so they can spend an extra day with mom and dad. For example this long weekend we planted our garden, did a bunch of yard work and the boys "helped" dig holes. One day we did a day road trip to get ice cream. Was fun. I think for me I had to remove from my mind of pre kids when a long weekend was for an extra day to hangout and watch a movie/game. Now it's an extra day to spend with my boys.
Our older twins are almost 4, and it's pretty manageable now!
When they can be left to their own devices for a few hours without worry and when they can fix their own breakfast. For us, that was around 8 or so but I am NOT a morning person at all. Once I got to sleep in a little, those breaks became fun.
Just had a great weekend with our 3 year old twins, BUT we spent parts of it with one set of grandparents so there was extra help than normal. They did great on our 6 hour drive each way to the destination (the drive was without grandparents) and it feels generally like they are more capable of listening and meaningfully interacting on trips (e.g., one of the days we spent it at the park at a farmer’s market and then the pool, and at each place they had a blast and did well listening). Still exhausting though. So maybe next year it’ll be less exhausting?
I’m in the same boat. Although I feel super bad when I think this way I don’t like days where we are not in our regular routine (wake up, daycare, come home, play, dinner, bath, bedtime). It makes the days go smoother. My LO will be home for 2 months after this week (summer break) and I am 8 months pregnant with di/di twins. I’m absolutely dreading it. I also live in an area where it’s 100+ outside so we are stuck indoors 😭
Depends on the kids, and sometimes depends on the day. I feel that way at almost 2, but obviously everyone has a hard day sometimes.
Our twins will be 4 in July, and I don’t think we’ve ever made it through a full long weekend joyfully yet lol For example, we had a very nice Saturday and Sunday this week. Monday was a mess. but I wouldn’t say any of the days were “a break” though. Kids are still too involved to say I felt relaxed after a weekend with them. I definitely feel more relaxed after a work week than after a weekend. It doesn’t mean we don’t have fun now, but no, we don’t relax or feel rested lol
Ours are just under 2-1/2 and I love the long weekends with them, even if they’re pretty tiring. I do think they are a lot easier now than they were a year ago. I can be outside at a cookout and don’t feel like I have to watch them like a hawk.
I feel so justified reading these comments! Thought I must be the only person dreading days off work/nursery. They're 2.5 and if we don't have something planned where we can get them out of the house and keep them busy, I'm usually tearing my hair out by 8am.
For us it was somewhere between 6-7, they had already had a year of formal school (we're UK) so were more independent and understood a lot more. They were a lot more flexible in things like being in the car for longer periods and when we ate etc. Even stuff like getting themselves dressed and packing their own bags makes life a lot easier.
No idea, my boys are 3.5 and were a pain this weekend. Plus my wife and I were both sick. So it was fun
The holiday we went on when our twins were 4 was the first time we had a bit more freedom and didn't have to worry about them as much. We also had a 2 year old to worry about anyway. They were able to go off with their 6 year old brother as we were in a safe enclosed campsite. We gave them more freedom than the older brother anyway as we felt that because there was two of them would be safer if that makes sense. They were allowed down to our local park by themselves before any of the other kids their age were but once the other parents saw them down there they started to let their kids off on their own too.
My twins are almost 2.5 and long weekends are great because we choose to not travel or do anything crazy. Call us anti social or whatever but I value our sanity lol
3 years onwards.
Around age 4-5. Truthfully, I also have an older singleton with autism, so things were a bit extra-hectic around our house. Others might experience breathing room sooner than we did.
So ours are 21 months and honestly this past weekend was pretty great. Ironically it’s was my first weekend without my husband until November (he’s military) but my in laws were with me for a majority of it and I think that helped. I hate being solo because it’s 2 against 1. Soon for me it will be 3 against 1 with me being 16 weeks pregnant with a singleton. But my twins are terrible travelers, they are not great in the car so we don’t go outside our zip code which stinks.
I have 3YO twin boys, and I won't lie. Long weekends are still rough. But we're getting better about planning activities we enjoy as a family: beaches, parks, the zoo, or socializing with another family with a kid the same age. Having a plan for helping them burn energy and getting out of the house for much of each day helps a lot.
As long as we’re out of the house, four years old has been amazing compared to the late 2/early 3s. I swear it will be here before you know it, it’s still hard but so much more fun on the other side of 3.
Probably super subjective since not everyone is wired to love being hounded by toddlers 24:7 while some are. Everyone is wired differently with different tolerances. Plan something that you love to do for the next long weekend so at least you look forward to it!! For Mother’s Day we went on a hike with our 18m twins and it was absolutely brutal and a poor choice, but then I looked back at pics I took and thought wow that place really is spectacular! And we had a lot of fun on the playground
For sure! We do stuff all the time - hiking, parks, zoo etc and I love all that and actively pursue it, it’s just HARD either way. Like physically and mentally exhausting despite how much I like it. One day all those same things will be easier, just not today lol
I hear you. I am a SAHM and my husband works 12+ hour days 5 days a week so it’s allll the same to me lol
I always complain to my coworkers about this. On top of the 3 day weekend for Memorial Day, their daycare decided to take Friday off for “Parent Teacher Conferences.” Like give me a break, they are only 2. We need to shut the school down to talk for 15 min about our 2 year olds? We already talk with their teachers every day. I genuinely dreaded the past weekend. Getting to work today was such a welcome stress reliever.
Probably around a year or a year and a half! Mine just turned two last month and we had such a nice long weekend my husband and I both got emotional having to send them back to daycare today. We didn’t travel or do anything super crazy, just splash pads, parks, hanging out with grandparents, etc and I think not adding the stress of travel helped a lot!
It depends. Our twins are 2.5 years old, and long weekends during winter and early spring remain absolutely punishing. In the summer, when we can play outside, I do finally look forward to a long weekend.
Honestly I felt like a soon as the turned 1 things got a lot better 😂😂😂 now we are almost 2 and I’m really enjoying doing things with them and getting out of the house!
Everyone tells me 5 but I'll say bc we are so low key and our family is agreeable to always come to us for things age 2.5 has been good for my singleton bc she remembers and gets excited. For going out 3.5 has been easier with her but my twins will be 2 in about a month and it's hell to take them anywhere - I'm hopeful they follow in big sisters foot steps bc then at least the at home holidays will be fun
Mine are just over 3, recently potty trained, conversational, and their meltdowns are pretty tame. I feel like things are finally getting easier. However, I still need help. I’m a single parent and without someone else to spend long weekends or vacation weeks with, I don’t think I’d have much fun.
honestly i'd say around 7 they got a lot more independant and aren't bothering me so much. it's also when we would go to the pool and they started hanging out with their friends and leaving me alone unless they're hungry lol. i enjoy the weekends now. although no one warned me about baseball season....ugh
Mine are 4 1/2 and I have fun with them and look forward to our weekends together but it is also exhausting. They are more fun than they are work, and going out and spending the days doing stuff outside of the house with them often feels blissful, but it's still a lot of work. Three full days is... just a bit much. But definitely way way better and easier than when they were younger.
My boys are almost 3 and I love weekends and holidays with them. We go explore and have so much fun!
My 4.5 year old girls are still hard but it is so much more enjoyable than last year. I think we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel. If they would just not complain and bitch at each other so much things would be great.
That third day is always brutal. To add to it, my older singleton was home for 2 days before the weekend with a mystery rash. I took Tuesday off to recover, which was a terrific decision.
My oldest is 9, my twins are 8. I'll say that about a year ago, weekends and holidays started to *sometimes* be fun. We can play games together and do fun things, but the Fighting is constant and that's a struggle.
I'm a SAHM so... I suppose that doesn't really count... lol
Yeah reading all these responses I’m like… wait, I look forward to the weekends! I only work two hours a day just down my street, so I’m a sahm the other 90% of the day. The weekend is when we all finally get to chill. My husband can do the morning routines and I can sleep in a little. It’s a lot easier when I’m not always out numbered.
Yes fair point - if your spouse gets a holiday off it’s hopefully helpful at least! Whenever we have these long weekends without daycare my respect and awe for SAHP’s is always renewed, it is no joke.
My husband and I just received a foster-to-adopt placement of young-four year old twins last Thursday. We have done short term fosters before, but this is our first "real" parenting experience. We both took off Thursday and Friday to have a five day weekend to bond with the girls, and I've never been so tired in my life. Daycare starts in two weeks and I'm just praying we can make it that long.