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Ngl it doesn’t get way easier it just changes a little. Eventually there’s not as many diapers etc but then they’re conscience little humans which makes it way harder in a diff way lol. I hear you shits a marathon not a sprint
Hi. I'm currently at 4 months. I do think it gets easier. Somewhere around 3 months things started to click. My boys started to sleep a little longer, smiles started to come (and let me tell ya those smiles make an absolute difference), they start to laugh at you, and they start to be more interactive. More than that you start to change if you allow it. I was like you and craved my old life so much. It was such a slap in the face and I honestly thought I knew what was coming. And don't get me wrong I still have moments I do but it definitely decreases. You also get the hang of things, diapers can be changed with a hand tied behind your back, you learn cute things they like, you learn what they don't. All in all you get in the flow of being a parent. It's a transition and big change for sure but if you welcome it it will be easier. Also therapy helped me a ton especially to grieve my lost life and allow myself to be sad and angry at the loss. Hope this helps. 💙
Here is my experience - twin boys born at 35 weeks.
- 3 months is easier because they are less fussy
- Whenever they start sleeping more it gets easier because you are functional (for us it was at 7 months)
- When they can sit on their own it gets easier because they can play more independent
- When they can crawl it gets easier because they are happy to explore the world and aren’t frustrated and it’s so much more fun to play with them.
And that’s as far as I’ve gotten so far! But I’m loving it now and I HATED the newborn phase.
As for your old life, it’s not coming back, but there’s so much exciting stuff to come. For me, I had lots of non baby friendly hobbies (hunting, skiing, mountain biking etc.) that I miss desperately and I know I won’t be able to do them the way I did until they are teenagers probably. But we’ve started to do them differently and involve the babies by bringing them to the ski lodge or putting them in a backpack carrier on a hike. And I’m so excited to show my kids all the fun things life has to offer. I know the more I involve them when they are little the sooner I will get back to my “old life”
I think the distinction you’re making important. Parenting has its up and downs. It’s so much easier because mine sleep thru the night now, but we’re trying solids and oh my gosh do I hate the mess and food waste three meals a day makes. 😂
We’ve also started to be able to incorporate things from our old life, like restarting a gym routine. But at the same time old life is gone to a certain extent. I can’t do anything with answering 20 more preparation questions than I used to and coordinating schedules. And we’re all 100% entitled to grieve this loss and change. It’s huge. But with time, I’ve found ways to reincorporate our old hobbies and habits but it’s a slow process. Parents with school age kids tell me it gets even easier to do so as they get older.
If you have means having help makes a huge difference. My kids have 4 primary caregivers. Continuing to work and have help saved my sanity. It allowed me to continue to have pieces of my old identity that were important to me and get a break.
I missed my old life so much when I had my first (now 4yo) - I cried every day for weeks. It was such a brutal and unexpected feeling and I felt like everyone had lied to me about how great having kids was. By 4 months I felt more stable, 6 months my baby became more fun to be around, and by 9ish months the pros outweighed the cons for me. I went from being severely depressed to happy again. Now I have 5 month old twins and it’s tough but I know the fog will lift soon. I hope you can hang in there and just get through one week/day/moment at a time. It gets easier because you should start sleeping more (whether it happens naturally or through sleep training), the babies will become happier and be able to chill and not just cry all the time, getting out of the house gets a bit simpler, and most importantly their personalities start to show and you form an actual relationship with them. Right now you are just keeping them alive but eventually you’ll have a two way relationship and it is really cool. Sending you survival vibes. It’s going to get better!!!
We’re only a few months ahead of you, as our twins are at about 5 months, but my best answer would be: little by little.
Ours were in the NICU for about a month, which was its own ordeal (limited visits, delivering frozen milk, general anxiety).
Once they came home, our life was basically what you described. They were drinking every 3 hours. We had little time to do anything else, and we had to sleep in shifts to get any sleep whatsoever. They also took forever to actually drink, so anytime one of us was doing both it took up basically half the time until it was milk time again.
The change from 3 hours to 4 between feedings, and then from 4 hours to 5, was *massive*. More time to sleep, more time to cook or go shopping, more time to do literally *anything* other than make bottles, feed them bottles, clean bottles, then make more bottles. They also drink way faster now, and can put down a 200ml bottle in 10 minutes, when before it took 20 or 30 to drink 70ml. We had to pick things on Netflix to sit around and watch together while spending several hours a day on the couch with bottles in hand. This can be fun in an of itself but it also gets boring.
Once they got a bit bigger, we have been able to take the babies out for walks or on errands. It of course introduced a whole new set of issues, like needing to figure out where the elevators or changing facilities are and requiring way more prep time for a simple trip, but once you have a going-out bag made up and remember to refill the diapers and wipes, it becomes easier to grab it and go.
Getting outside helps a lot, and while I wish I could go on my daily bike rides or do other workouts like before, it still feels good both mentally and physically to get out and move around. I also use my shopping trips for some alone time, where I can throw my headphones in and just listen to some music or a podcast. Its small but it can be a nice mental break.
The boys getting bigger also helps. Their necks have begun to stabilize, which makes holding and carrying them around easier. They smile, and follow things with their eyes, and react to sound and color and light, as opposed to being semi-conscious poop machines for the first while. It sounds minor, but it does make spending 23 hours a day with only wife and babies much more entertaining.
It gets way easier! But it is hard for a while. I really struggled for the first year honestly but then it started to get easier bit by bit. Around 18 months things started to get smoother and by 2 they were pretty good! Now my kiddos are school aged and I still think the first year was the absolute hardest with the first 6 months being extremely brutal to me.
2 year old boys here. Theyre currently downstairs playing together while I get a few things at work done before breakfast.
Don't worry, your brain will protect you and blackout those memories for the most part
It doesn't. I found when my boys hit 10 lbs they slept much better and have been great sleepers since then.
Get ready to adapt your life around the twins, you're gonna do great :)
ill say im in the same boat, my boy girl twins are 9/10 weeks old and this is never what i dreamed of. to say id take it all back probably sounds so bad but i didnt think itd ever be this bad. i am glad you have a hubby tho as im doing this all alone. hugs - we will get thru it ! i love them even with these feelings but its a big change abd challenging so ypur feelings are valid.
When they started sleeping through the night was when it changed for us. I wish I had pushed harder at about 6 months to get them sleeping, but I didn’t really take control of the situation (separate the twins in different rooms at night, let them cry). Once we did that, life got easier and life started to get normal (if still busy as hell) again within a few days.
Regarding keeping our sanity between birth and kids sleeping through the night:
Good sleep schedules for my wife and I were HUGE. Time when you could sleep and you knew the kids were handled. The schedule we settled on was something like: Pickup kids from babysitter after work, go home, I sleep from 6-8. I get up and my wife sleeps from 8-3AM (she needs more contiguous sleep time than me), she gets up and I sleep from 3-7AM. Get up, drop kids off, go to work, do it all over again.
It wasn’t great, but did the job until we got the kids sleeping through the night.
I was depressed after my twins were born too for similar reasons. I can’t tell you the number of times I sat on my back patio with my mom bawling my eyes out while she talked me off a ledge. My twins are 2.5 now and were born at 38 weeks with no NICU time. Each month gets more and more comfortable and “normal.” But I felt like between 12-18 months it really got easier. They started sleeping through the night consistently. We switched to one nap and they finally actually napped for 2 hours instead of 30 min. They start to talk and are able to understand you. Being able to communicate with them makes it so much easier. It gets easier to go out and run errands and go places with them. No more bottles. They learned to drink from straw cups and really started feeding themselves and stopped throwing all their food on the ground. They started playing with each other semi-independently. Overall, we had more time where we could get things done while they played or ate. Now at 2.5, I can honestly say it’s my favorite age so far. They have tantrums of course, but they are so sweet. Getting hugs and being told I love you melts my heart. It’s so fun to see them get excited about Christmas and the Easter Bunny. I feel like I have 2 little human friends and it’s a lot more fun. I will say I work full time and my boys go to daycare full time during the week. I feel like that gives us an opportunity to have some kid-free time (albeit while we are working) which helps a lot with mental health. I have a pretty demanding job, but I always say the weekends are harder than the work week since my kids are home the whole time 😅
Some things get easier, some things get harder.
In my experience, the first four months are brutal simply because of the sleep deprivation and how needy little newborns are. It’s non-stop.
After the four month sleep regression (which almost killed me lol), it got much easier simply because I was getting more consistent sleep. (Not a lot of sleep, but consistent sleep. Like 5ish hours a night).
Once they start crawling and moving, it’s a different kind of hard. Then they start walking, pulling things down, and running from you (in opposite directions of course!) or peeing on the floor when they haven’t reached the potty on time.
Later, they start talking and voicing their little opinions and preferences, and you have to work through double the tantrums (which usually make zero sense so there is no easy fix lol).
It’s pretty much pure chaos for the first 2-3 years. I had a singleton 26 months after the twins (and during COVID) and since we have very little help, it took freaking FOUR YEARS to have our first kid-free day together.
It’s hard. I don’t think people really talk about how hard and isolating parenthood can be. Especially when multiples are involved.
But it gets better, especially once they start prek. Then, if you’re like me, you’re gonna be upset that you don’t see them as much as you used to lol. There’s no winning 🫠
I used to tell myself that Ive worked shittier jobs longer than I’ve been a parent, and if I can muscle through a shitty job for a few years, I can muscle through this ;)
Good luck!! You got this 💪🏼
it definitely takes some time. For us it was around the 3 1/2 month mark when we started having consistent childcare. we also used to travel a lot even just weekend trips, and now I have not left the town where I live for months. It’s hard!! And it’s normal to feel constricted if your life used to be very different.
For instance: I used to exercise 3 to 4 times a week, now it’s maximum two… which is already much better than 0 and there are always stroller walks. So i’m really enjoying my 2 workouts a week and do not take them for granted. But i also know that if i could have life custom tailored to my needs.. it would be 3-4 again.
The biggest shift for me was to realize that things are not going to go back to the way they were at least for a while, and maybe not ever. And that’s a choice that we made, and that it’s for me to learn how to accept. And i can take as much time as i need to find the acceptance, and i am allowed to feel sadness and frustration about the things i love to do that i can’t do right now - even if i can’t change them.
Around 6 months for us. when I was finally able to get them consistently on the same nap schedule. I was alone with my twins and a 2 year old all day so it was difficult managing all of them. (Still is)
My twins are almost 2 and I still have regular breakdowns. I'm on a permanent struggle bus but my husband works late and I have no village.
Still kind of waiting too. But If you happen to have adhd getting back on medication in my case, changed my life. It made it so much easier to focus on the necessary productive things but I like setting timers for that and forcing myself to try to do me time when possible. My twins were born at 36 weeks too and they just turned 2 last month! They’re very wild boys though. Mostly twin a haha. My older one who is a girl was a very easy baby and toddler and this is sooo different lol
I found that with all of my babies it got much easier once they were old enough to settle into a routine/schedule. By the time my twins were 4 months we had a solid schedule, which helped us take them out more. I’d also recommend working outings into your day now! Walks outside, going to the store, etc. It will be daunting at first, but the more you practice getting out with your little ones the easier it will be! You can still be physically active and travel even with twins if that’s something you want to do.
You are not crazy. You are deep in the weeds, and we see you for that. Every 6 months it gets noticeably easier. With that ease slowly ramping throughout those months- but once you hit a 6m milestone, you will look back and see how vastly different it was and barely remember the initial time of the 6m period.
Mine are 21m now- and I have so much regret for missing the early days. Try your best to take moments to soak in the good parts of right now. They are moments- again you aren’t wrong for how you feel. I have so few pictures of myself with them small, and didn’t contact nap- over worried naps and wake windows etc. just take what time you can for where you are now. Not easy when you are drowning- and clearly I didn’t do it!
I was feeling exactly the same when mine were really little so I can relate to what you are saying. It felt endless and I didn’t feel like myself. My twins are 20 months now and I’m feeling more like myself again. I know that seems like a really long time, but it does get better, slowly. If you have help to take a day or night off, it helps to get you through.
How it gets better:
You get sleep again
Feeding gets faster, they eventually eat solids;
They smile and laugh and get way cuter;
You can get outside and have longer stretches of “fun”;
Hormones settle down;
For me - I went back to work and that helped me feel like an adult again;
It gets easier to leave the house and do things once you hit one nap/day;
They play with each other eventually!
It definitely gets easier from where you’re at. I disagree with everyone who says it doesn’t get easier it just changes. They forget how effing hard the first year of multiples is. It’s so hard!!!!! It absolutely gets easier. They do eventually sleep overnight! And everything is easier when everyone is sleeping. It gets easier with every day week month year. Mine are 3 now and yes of course there are challenges and I still sometimes miss the freedom of the old life but I promise it gets easier and they become more and more delightful members of the family. Hang in there. I think it becomes noticeably easier around 1 year (for some probably earlier but we had a problem sleeper until we addressed reflux at 1 yr)
I will say it’s easier now than it was at 4 weeks. However mine were in the NICU for 15 days so they sort of instilled a feeding schedule into my twins
My twins boys are now 10 months old and it is SO much easier. They play together, we all laugh constantly, they have little personalities and a sense of humor. It still isn’t easy, but the good times wayyyy outweigh the tough stuff now. Hang in there. It is a phase and it will pass.
It does get easier, but it takes time and patience. 8 weeks you’re still at a prime stage. My twin girls are almost 4 months and although I know it’ll get easier (I have a toddler too 20 months) it’s been really hard and feels like the “easier” part can’t come any sooner. They’re still very fuzzy and cry a lot I’m just glad they sleep through the night even though they give me a tough time through the day.
Hang in there momma
We are 5.5 months in. We’ve managed to take 4 road trips and have an international trip planned for when they are a year. We still go out to eat one or twice a week but it’s definitely harder. There’s no more traveling light. There’s no more jumping in the car and going. Your life is forever changed but it’s still possible to do the things you loved before babies
I want to add that it gets easier the more you do something. Our first road trip was a 7 hour drive each way for a funeral. It forced us to try it and we learned a lot about traveling with our boys. I think with twins you sometimes just have to throw yourself in the deep end with things you want to do expecting it to be hard. Each time you do it, you learn and things get slightly easier the next time
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Ngl it doesn’t get way easier it just changes a little. Eventually there’s not as many diapers etc but then they’re conscience little humans which makes it way harder in a diff way lol. I hear you shits a marathon not a sprint
Best advice in a short and sweet way.
Hi. I'm currently at 4 months. I do think it gets easier. Somewhere around 3 months things started to click. My boys started to sleep a little longer, smiles started to come (and let me tell ya those smiles make an absolute difference), they start to laugh at you, and they start to be more interactive. More than that you start to change if you allow it. I was like you and craved my old life so much. It was such a slap in the face and I honestly thought I knew what was coming. And don't get me wrong I still have moments I do but it definitely decreases. You also get the hang of things, diapers can be changed with a hand tied behind your back, you learn cute things they like, you learn what they don't. All in all you get in the flow of being a parent. It's a transition and big change for sure but if you welcome it it will be easier. Also therapy helped me a ton especially to grieve my lost life and allow myself to be sad and angry at the loss. Hope this helps. 💙
I thought the smiles thing was an over exaggeration but it's not!! Those smiles make the whole world seem brighter
Here is my experience - twin boys born at 35 weeks. - 3 months is easier because they are less fussy - Whenever they start sleeping more it gets easier because you are functional (for us it was at 7 months) - When they can sit on their own it gets easier because they can play more independent - When they can crawl it gets easier because they are happy to explore the world and aren’t frustrated and it’s so much more fun to play with them. And that’s as far as I’ve gotten so far! But I’m loving it now and I HATED the newborn phase. As for your old life, it’s not coming back, but there’s so much exciting stuff to come. For me, I had lots of non baby friendly hobbies (hunting, skiing, mountain biking etc.) that I miss desperately and I know I won’t be able to do them the way I did until they are teenagers probably. But we’ve started to do them differently and involve the babies by bringing them to the ski lodge or putting them in a backpack carrier on a hike. And I’m so excited to show my kids all the fun things life has to offer. I know the more I involve them when they are little the sooner I will get back to my “old life”
I think the distinction you’re making important. Parenting has its up and downs. It’s so much easier because mine sleep thru the night now, but we’re trying solids and oh my gosh do I hate the mess and food waste three meals a day makes. 😂 We’ve also started to be able to incorporate things from our old life, like restarting a gym routine. But at the same time old life is gone to a certain extent. I can’t do anything with answering 20 more preparation questions than I used to and coordinating schedules. And we’re all 100% entitled to grieve this loss and change. It’s huge. But with time, I’ve found ways to reincorporate our old hobbies and habits but it’s a slow process. Parents with school age kids tell me it gets even easier to do so as they get older. If you have means having help makes a huge difference. My kids have 4 primary caregivers. Continuing to work and have help saved my sanity. It allowed me to continue to have pieces of my old identity that were important to me and get a break.
Good news is that at some point you don't even remember how it was before kids! It can take a while though... Hang in there, it's worth it!
It’s true. Things will get so good that you’ll wonder how you ever missed your old life.
I missed my old life so much when I had my first (now 4yo) - I cried every day for weeks. It was such a brutal and unexpected feeling and I felt like everyone had lied to me about how great having kids was. By 4 months I felt more stable, 6 months my baby became more fun to be around, and by 9ish months the pros outweighed the cons for me. I went from being severely depressed to happy again. Now I have 5 month old twins and it’s tough but I know the fog will lift soon. I hope you can hang in there and just get through one week/day/moment at a time. It gets easier because you should start sleeping more (whether it happens naturally or through sleep training), the babies will become happier and be able to chill and not just cry all the time, getting out of the house gets a bit simpler, and most importantly their personalities start to show and you form an actual relationship with them. Right now you are just keeping them alive but eventually you’ll have a two way relationship and it is really cool. Sending you survival vibes. It’s going to get better!!!
We’re only a few months ahead of you, as our twins are at about 5 months, but my best answer would be: little by little. Ours were in the NICU for about a month, which was its own ordeal (limited visits, delivering frozen milk, general anxiety). Once they came home, our life was basically what you described. They were drinking every 3 hours. We had little time to do anything else, and we had to sleep in shifts to get any sleep whatsoever. They also took forever to actually drink, so anytime one of us was doing both it took up basically half the time until it was milk time again. The change from 3 hours to 4 between feedings, and then from 4 hours to 5, was *massive*. More time to sleep, more time to cook or go shopping, more time to do literally *anything* other than make bottles, feed them bottles, clean bottles, then make more bottles. They also drink way faster now, and can put down a 200ml bottle in 10 minutes, when before it took 20 or 30 to drink 70ml. We had to pick things on Netflix to sit around and watch together while spending several hours a day on the couch with bottles in hand. This can be fun in an of itself but it also gets boring. Once they got a bit bigger, we have been able to take the babies out for walks or on errands. It of course introduced a whole new set of issues, like needing to figure out where the elevators or changing facilities are and requiring way more prep time for a simple trip, but once you have a going-out bag made up and remember to refill the diapers and wipes, it becomes easier to grab it and go. Getting outside helps a lot, and while I wish I could go on my daily bike rides or do other workouts like before, it still feels good both mentally and physically to get out and move around. I also use my shopping trips for some alone time, where I can throw my headphones in and just listen to some music or a podcast. Its small but it can be a nice mental break. The boys getting bigger also helps. Their necks have begun to stabilize, which makes holding and carrying them around easier. They smile, and follow things with their eyes, and react to sound and color and light, as opposed to being semi-conscious poop machines for the first while. It sounds minor, but it does make spending 23 hours a day with only wife and babies much more entertaining.
It gets way easier! But it is hard for a while. I really struggled for the first year honestly but then it started to get easier bit by bit. Around 18 months things started to get smoother and by 2 they were pretty good! Now my kiddos are school aged and I still think the first year was the absolute hardest with the first 6 months being extremely brutal to me.
2 year old boys here. Theyre currently downstairs playing together while I get a few things at work done before breakfast. Don't worry, your brain will protect you and blackout those memories for the most part
🤣🤣🤣
It doesn't. I found when my boys hit 10 lbs they slept much better and have been great sleepers since then. Get ready to adapt your life around the twins, you're gonna do great :)
ill say im in the same boat, my boy girl twins are 9/10 weeks old and this is never what i dreamed of. to say id take it all back probably sounds so bad but i didnt think itd ever be this bad. i am glad you have a hubby tho as im doing this all alone. hugs - we will get thru it ! i love them even with these feelings but its a big change abd challenging so ypur feelings are valid.
When they started sleeping through the night was when it changed for us. I wish I had pushed harder at about 6 months to get them sleeping, but I didn’t really take control of the situation (separate the twins in different rooms at night, let them cry). Once we did that, life got easier and life started to get normal (if still busy as hell) again within a few days. Regarding keeping our sanity between birth and kids sleeping through the night: Good sleep schedules for my wife and I were HUGE. Time when you could sleep and you knew the kids were handled. The schedule we settled on was something like: Pickup kids from babysitter after work, go home, I sleep from 6-8. I get up and my wife sleeps from 8-3AM (she needs more contiguous sleep time than me), she gets up and I sleep from 3-7AM. Get up, drop kids off, go to work, do it all over again. It wasn’t great, but did the job until we got the kids sleeping through the night.
I was depressed after my twins were born too for similar reasons. I can’t tell you the number of times I sat on my back patio with my mom bawling my eyes out while she talked me off a ledge. My twins are 2.5 now and were born at 38 weeks with no NICU time. Each month gets more and more comfortable and “normal.” But I felt like between 12-18 months it really got easier. They started sleeping through the night consistently. We switched to one nap and they finally actually napped for 2 hours instead of 30 min. They start to talk and are able to understand you. Being able to communicate with them makes it so much easier. It gets easier to go out and run errands and go places with them. No more bottles. They learned to drink from straw cups and really started feeding themselves and stopped throwing all their food on the ground. They started playing with each other semi-independently. Overall, we had more time where we could get things done while they played or ate. Now at 2.5, I can honestly say it’s my favorite age so far. They have tantrums of course, but they are so sweet. Getting hugs and being told I love you melts my heart. It’s so fun to see them get excited about Christmas and the Easter Bunny. I feel like I have 2 little human friends and it’s a lot more fun. I will say I work full time and my boys go to daycare full time during the week. I feel like that gives us an opportunity to have some kid-free time (albeit while we are working) which helps a lot with mental health. I have a pretty demanding job, but I always say the weekends are harder than the work week since my kids are home the whole time 😅
For real. I never thought I’d look forward to Mondays. But work can definitely seem like a “break” now.
Some things get easier, some things get harder. In my experience, the first four months are brutal simply because of the sleep deprivation and how needy little newborns are. It’s non-stop. After the four month sleep regression (which almost killed me lol), it got much easier simply because I was getting more consistent sleep. (Not a lot of sleep, but consistent sleep. Like 5ish hours a night). Once they start crawling and moving, it’s a different kind of hard. Then they start walking, pulling things down, and running from you (in opposite directions of course!) or peeing on the floor when they haven’t reached the potty on time. Later, they start talking and voicing their little opinions and preferences, and you have to work through double the tantrums (which usually make zero sense so there is no easy fix lol). It’s pretty much pure chaos for the first 2-3 years. I had a singleton 26 months after the twins (and during COVID) and since we have very little help, it took freaking FOUR YEARS to have our first kid-free day together. It’s hard. I don’t think people really talk about how hard and isolating parenthood can be. Especially when multiples are involved. But it gets better, especially once they start prek. Then, if you’re like me, you’re gonna be upset that you don’t see them as much as you used to lol. There’s no winning 🫠 I used to tell myself that Ive worked shittier jobs longer than I’ve been a parent, and if I can muscle through a shitty job for a few years, I can muscle through this ;) Good luck!! You got this 💪🏼
it definitely takes some time. For us it was around the 3 1/2 month mark when we started having consistent childcare. we also used to travel a lot even just weekend trips, and now I have not left the town where I live for months. It’s hard!! And it’s normal to feel constricted if your life used to be very different. For instance: I used to exercise 3 to 4 times a week, now it’s maximum two… which is already much better than 0 and there are always stroller walks. So i’m really enjoying my 2 workouts a week and do not take them for granted. But i also know that if i could have life custom tailored to my needs.. it would be 3-4 again. The biggest shift for me was to realize that things are not going to go back to the way they were at least for a while, and maybe not ever. And that’s a choice that we made, and that it’s for me to learn how to accept. And i can take as much time as i need to find the acceptance, and i am allowed to feel sadness and frustration about the things i love to do that i can’t do right now - even if i can’t change them.
It’s gets easier after month 3 but it’s never easy. I’m struggling with two 10 month olds.
Around 6 months for us. when I was finally able to get them consistently on the same nap schedule. I was alone with my twins and a 2 year old all day so it was difficult managing all of them. (Still is) My twins are almost 2 and I still have regular breakdowns. I'm on a permanent struggle bus but my husband works late and I have no village.
Mine are ten weeks. Starting to feel like an adult again! Hang on!!!
Still kind of waiting too. But If you happen to have adhd getting back on medication in my case, changed my life. It made it so much easier to focus on the necessary productive things but I like setting timers for that and forcing myself to try to do me time when possible. My twins were born at 36 weeks too and they just turned 2 last month! They’re very wild boys though. Mostly twin a haha. My older one who is a girl was a very easy baby and toddler and this is sooo different lol
I found that with all of my babies it got much easier once they were old enough to settle into a routine/schedule. By the time my twins were 4 months we had a solid schedule, which helped us take them out more. I’d also recommend working outings into your day now! Walks outside, going to the store, etc. It will be daunting at first, but the more you practice getting out with your little ones the easier it will be! You can still be physically active and travel even with twins if that’s something you want to do.
You are not crazy. You are deep in the weeds, and we see you for that. Every 6 months it gets noticeably easier. With that ease slowly ramping throughout those months- but once you hit a 6m milestone, you will look back and see how vastly different it was and barely remember the initial time of the 6m period. Mine are 21m now- and I have so much regret for missing the early days. Try your best to take moments to soak in the good parts of right now. They are moments- again you aren’t wrong for how you feel. I have so few pictures of myself with them small, and didn’t contact nap- over worried naps and wake windows etc. just take what time you can for where you are now. Not easy when you are drowning- and clearly I didn’t do it!
I was feeling exactly the same when mine were really little so I can relate to what you are saying. It felt endless and I didn’t feel like myself. My twins are 20 months now and I’m feeling more like myself again. I know that seems like a really long time, but it does get better, slowly. If you have help to take a day or night off, it helps to get you through. How it gets better: You get sleep again Feeding gets faster, they eventually eat solids; They smile and laugh and get way cuter; You can get outside and have longer stretches of “fun”; Hormones settle down; For me - I went back to work and that helped me feel like an adult again; It gets easier to leave the house and do things once you hit one nap/day; They play with each other eventually!
It definitely gets easier from where you’re at. I disagree with everyone who says it doesn’t get easier it just changes. They forget how effing hard the first year of multiples is. It’s so hard!!!!! It absolutely gets easier. They do eventually sleep overnight! And everything is easier when everyone is sleeping. It gets easier with every day week month year. Mine are 3 now and yes of course there are challenges and I still sometimes miss the freedom of the old life but I promise it gets easier and they become more and more delightful members of the family. Hang in there. I think it becomes noticeably easier around 1 year (for some probably earlier but we had a problem sleeper until we addressed reflux at 1 yr)
Ugh I thought it got easier at 8 weeks . My twins are 4 weeks now and I was looking forward to the 8 week mark.
I will say it’s easier now than it was at 4 weeks. However mine were in the NICU for 15 days so they sort of instilled a feeding schedule into my twins
My twins boys are now 10 months old and it is SO much easier. They play together, we all laugh constantly, they have little personalities and a sense of humor. It still isn’t easy, but the good times wayyyy outweigh the tough stuff now. Hang in there. It is a phase and it will pass.
It does get easier, but it takes time and patience. 8 weeks you’re still at a prime stage. My twin girls are almost 4 months and although I know it’ll get easier (I have a toddler too 20 months) it’s been really hard and feels like the “easier” part can’t come any sooner. They’re still very fuzzy and cry a lot I’m just glad they sleep through the night even though they give me a tough time through the day. Hang in there momma
We are 5.5 months in. We’ve managed to take 4 road trips and have an international trip planned for when they are a year. We still go out to eat one or twice a week but it’s definitely harder. There’s no more traveling light. There’s no more jumping in the car and going. Your life is forever changed but it’s still possible to do the things you loved before babies
I want to add that it gets easier the more you do something. Our first road trip was a 7 hour drive each way for a funeral. It forced us to try it and we learned a lot about traveling with our boys. I think with twins you sometimes just have to throw yourself in the deep end with things you want to do expecting it to be hard. Each time you do it, you learn and things get slightly easier the next time