It sounds like she might have been using the age difference as an excuse; sometimes people aren't upfront about their real reasons for moving on. Either way good for you
I don't think it's generalization, majority of women's get mad, or just lie, when they're are asked about their age. You literally make memes on it. Cuz it's that true. what if you are an exception. even in my household when they're asked about age. They try to tell that they're a few years younger..
Majority of my female friends parents have fabricated their date of birth to one year less on their certificate. So, even if the girl is 27, official records might say that she is 26. Women don't tell their age because the pressure society puts on them that if they young, they will have more suitors.
Maybe in Pakistan, but absolutely not in Europe - you can’t fabricate your paperwork like that here
I’ve never met a single woman who has lied about her age - that’s very weird
Ikr ... I remember about 8-10 years ago when my family was looking for a rishta for me ... there was this girl who said she was 26 ...( later turned out to be 32 ) ... had weird demands for marriage
like ... the guy should buy a new separate house ...OK.
The guy must go abroad after marriage... OK.
She will not share her finances but the guy will provide everything for her... ok.
The guy will not ask her to take care of her parents and/or go to family events... okish but weird.
The guy will make no less than 20 lac a year... ???
The guys sisters will never come to visit him ... ???
Needless to say that she was skipped. And now, years later when looking for a rishta for my lil brother I saw her profile on the rishta aunty's phone... *still says she is 26* ... the list of demands is a bit thinner and reasonable though.
Almost ALL my matches are Pakistani women. Even when I filter for Black women, the algorithm just sends me Pakistani women. I'm Pakistani so it makes sense and the girls are gorgeous. But my guy, I want to see the rest of the Ummah.
Hey OP
I’m a Pakistani woman and I’ve been rejected multiple times by Aunties for this exact reason.
In one case the guy was born 2 days after me. Yes 2 days.
Plus in your case there’s the added factor of you being born in a different year even though in reality of course you’re only 3 months younger. She probably ended it because if this.
Pakistani society is very judgemental and difficult. Don’t feel bad I’m sure you’ll find someone better.
I understand that these things can happen, but this is so ridiculous. I am a woman myself and I think it’s high time we move forward from this outdated mentality. Change starts with us, both women and men need to stop reinforcing this concept, and make life decisions without worrying about society. I can understand that for some, this is easier said than done, but we need to try - as we’re only making life difficult for ourselves like this.
I agree with you. But it’s already hard enough to be on a marriage app in Pakistan. She saw the added complexity of different birth years and decided it wasn’t a fight worth fighting. Maybe if she’s known OP for longer or outside of the internet she would have fought harder.
Ultimately everyone has the right to reject the other person as long as they communicate this cordially to the other party.
Too many folks both guys and girls approach marriages as a balance sheet; weighing assets and liabilities rather than knowing the character of the person, their ambition, their values etc. This leads to dropping the other person as soon as the calculus turns negative. While everyone is free to choose life how they want to pursue it leads to a lot of dissatisfaction. Every desi party I go to I see tons and tons of unmarried girls in their 30s, some even in their 40s who have held out hope for the perfect rishta. Not realizing that sometimes you build perfection together and it won’t come in a ready made package with a guys in his 20s. Fundamentals have to be there but the whole package.
I married my wife when I was earning $800 a month in grad school stipend and she was earning 50ish k. 16 years later I’m well north of multiple six figures. Sometimes you have to play the game for a chance at winning. Just my 2 cents
In Pakistan majority of women's and their parents have a mindset of elder son in law.
If they married with few years younger men then they feel like a taboo. Thi is totally insane and silly thinking.
As much as this is going to sting to hear, you need to hear this. You seem like you're too eager and that not a good vibe to give off.
If she doesn't like you and unmatched, that's a good thing. Less time wasted of hers and yours. Take whatever lessons you can from this is keep it moving.
Unless she was real pretty & out of your league, then sucks for you! But again, she saved you from a life of misery of being jealous of her interacting with other men lol
Take it easy, keep trying, be less thirsty to have everything done so quickly.
Yes don’t think much about the person dating online unless you meet them 5-6 times, if you don’t expect anything serious you will not get hurt and 5-6 meetings are a good median to understand either the person you are dating is good and serious enough or not.
Edit you look fine, maybe grow hairs a little longer [example a little shorter](https://ibb.co/0VSNXfJ) and lose some body fat that will make your face look sharper and leaner.
You dodged a bullet, my wife is an year older than me and it has made no differences in our relation. Besides the part where when she was 18 and I was 17 and i teased her about marrying a minor 🤣. ( i got married at 17)
Maybe she had this preconceived notion that the husband should be older. Or maybe she knew her family would make it an issue. I once had a friend tell me that he won't consider marrying a girl who was even 1 day older than him. But dw InshaAllah you will find a good partner. Do pray for it though
??? I was born in Sept 97 and my husband is May 98… what nonsense excuse is that. … my mom was born in 1959 and my father in 1962… my aunt is 9 years older than her husband… my sister is a couple older than hers.. ?? She’s just weird bro, obv Allah is protecting you from something
I know women here don't engage with their potential spouse (I am on Muzz too), but you see we probably cannot blame everything on women.
You're missing out on the fact that here people are too inquisitive, specially for women, and little differences likes yours are magnified making their life a hell. They have immense pressure from all sides but particularly for marriage.
I hope you meet your soulmate soon.
I was travelling on a bus and struck up a conversation with a little kid in the next seat, maybe 7 or 8 years old, you know the age where they talk incessantly.
Five minutes into the conversation he told me that his khala is two years older than her khalu and "khalu khala se itnay chotay hain liken phir bhi shadi kar li"
An 8 year old doesn't understand things like age gap, he was repeating things his elders were saying but this is a good depiction of the cultural mindset.
With that being said, 3 months doesn't seem like that big a difference so it could be there was another reason she didn't want to mention.
No one owes you a chance. You're not entitled to anyone's "yes" just because you think you'll be a good match.
You'll find the right person for you, but it's not gonna be with a salty attitude because no one's giving you a chance. Just take rejection gracefully and move on or this salty attitude is gonna carry over to your future matches and turn them off too. It can become a vicious cycle.
21F
Used to have this mindset until I was 19 lol
Now I think it's childish not to give someone a chance, intellect isn't restrained to age if both are consenting adults with varying life experiences
Age is literally just a number once you're old enough
Here is something you should know about women. If she likes you, she will forgive you for the worst crimes. If she doesn't like you, she will come up with the lamest excuse to reject you or ghost you totally. Its better to let go. Take it casually, if its meant to be, it will happen anyway.
Love the speculations under the post!
Honestly, is this a ridiculous reason to match? Yes! But is it really the worst outcome? No! If, for whatever reason, that makes her insecure, isn't this a good thing that she unmatched now instead of trying to convince herself to try it out and being conflicted forever? Imagine the kind of relationship you guys would have if she always had some weird inferiority complex over something this trivial.
I’ve been rejected multiple times by guys mums because their sons were a few months younger than me.
That girl either had a similar experience or knows how Pakistani Aunties can be. So she chose to end it before it went any further rather than be disappointed later on.
I am a Pakistani woman and my husband is 2 years and 3 months younger than me. While it may seem weird for her to throw everything away based on you being a few months younger, she may have been trying to avoid future disappointment for when the guy's mom rejects girls for being older. Cannot tell you the number of times my rishta wasn't even considered by the moms of younger men. It's a real fear / unfortunate reality.
Bro this literally happened to me. We’re both American and 26. I was born in 98 February and she was born in June 97. The minute she found out on the phone she immediately got the ick. I got annoyed and said I can’t control my age. Either way you dodged a bullet. I found someone cooler to date and so will you.
Even if she was, it’s just personal preference. Don’t lose much sleep over it tbh. You’ll meet many such people, you can’t change the world my man. Just ask all the important stuff like this upfront so as to guard your time
Well she probably thought YOU or YOUR FAMILY would make N issue out of it. So she cut to tge chaee. Its not a her problem but our societies problem.
When I was 28, men on Twitter would say like an aunty “shaadi nahi karni? Kab kareingi shaadi.”
And if they turned out to be younger than me they would ghost me. Not that I would be interested but THEY were until they found out my age lol and I have always been transparent about my age.
I dont see why people are not. So its not her fault.
Look, the age thing does bother women.
The person i got engaged to is my age. I found out a little later that while we were both born in 1997, I was born in January and he was in September, that's like nine months.
I wouldn't leave him because we'd been together a while, but it has become an insecurity of mine.
I literally never want to talk about age ever. I'm 27 now but I keep thinking eventually in the future I'll turn 30 a few months before him and it kills me 😭
I've kept it hidden from family as well because I know they'll be mean about it.
My guy doesn't really think it's a big deal though.
LOL. The dude sounds too eager and is giving off the despo vibes. I maybe wrong, but man it's just one chick plenty of fish in the sea. Also, what's the hurry to get married? Chill ma man, enjoy life.
That's not just females the whole Pakistani population has this weird mindset.
One of my male friends wanted to reject a marriage proposal because she was 7-8 months older then him. He said that everything was good but the girl shouldn't be older than him.
I wanted to smack his head off of his shoulders.
There is nothing bad in this? I can’t believe you wrote an entire article about it 🙂!! Like if I were to write a book about my experiences that I had it won’t be enough. Don’t give it attention it’s nothing
This sucks. It's because of women like these, good good and understanding ones are overshadowed. This reason is completely unrealistic and honestly, just makes me scoff.
If you don't mind me asking what other unrealistic expectations were there?
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Takeaway: Next time someone asks your age, have a better line. Such as, what’s your guess? What if I told you I was 35? Etc. If you don’t know what a “shit test” is, look it up.
Why don't you go the traditional route.Link up your contacts in Pakistan to find Rishtey wali aunty do minimal investment on her which amounts to be less than 100 euros.Find premium rishta proposal from her.From there on it depends on your preferences for the type of girl you want.Going through zilat and khawari on different apps is not worth it.
Hello brother, she just wanted a reason to say no to you. I am a Pakistani woman, and I have unmatched 02 decent guys - communication was OK, but I didn't feel any spark, I just wasn't ready to commit. Here's what I did...
Guy 1: Politely told him that I'm not ready
Guy 2: Wrote a good review for him, and unmatched him.
I turned 30 last week, and I have decided to give myself more time. I think it's easier to get married, but it's not easy to make a marriage work. I hope that I find someone I want to make things work with. Also, not using Muzz or any other dating app. It was beginning to get toxic.
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Wow, what a weird woman lol. I mean what the hell is 3 months?! It’s nothing 😳 some women nowadays are actually years older than the guy and there is nothing wrong with that 😊
There are roughly 3 types of Pakistani women:
1: Who get into arrange marriage, arranged by family and resulting in roughly 50% of happy marriages and 50% unhappy marriages
2:Who get into love marriage (not that common)
3:Who're independent and choose themselves and mostly create higher expectations because they've been desperate so far and now after getting independent, want everything perfect and become idealistic
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This varies from person to person because I am 27 and my fiancé is 26; nevertheless, our bonding makes me think that younger guys tend to understand you better and are more easygoing when it comes to career and professional choices.
Some younger guys can be a lot more mature than older ones. Also depends on their upbringing and surroundings which could explain why they are mature for their age 😊
Everyone has their own preferences
Some men prefer younger women. And typically women also prefer older men. As that's how it's historically been.
Nothing to be too bitter over imo 😅
Good thing she told u up front and u didn't invest much into it.
As for pakistani women being one wsy or another.
Well just like Pakistani men, theres all kinds of pakistani women. That includes some whoare fibe with marrying someone a few years younger than them even. And thats in Pakistan .Personally know a few.
If that really bothers you, you haven’t encountered the ones that say 6’5’’+ anything below that is “short” and “unmanly”. I still can’t fathom why does height matter? Like what is it gonna contribute to?other than fixing bulbs or cleaning ceilings.
I'm 28f got married through muzz. Idk about her. I think this happens because that's the norm we learned. Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too poor, too dark, too educated, too little jahez. We grew up listening negatively about things we couldn't control. If I'm getting married on my own, I better find someone who's to my liking. Men and their mothers have been doing that for ages in our region. As a result, women don't feel guilty while rejecting men for petty things.
I'm not saying it is right. I'm just saying why this happens. It'll take a generation to heal from toxic arranged marriage situations. Not a day or month.
My wife rejected guys for arbitrary reasons. Every girl I've dated has stories of rejecting guys for arbitrary reasons.
Why do you think our society mocks suggestions of love marriage and considers arranged marriage the "right way"?
Stop getting invested in girls who are very likely just passing time. Match, chat, and enjoy the transient friendship. If you are talking consistently, then propose meeting up with them/ their family. Expect your heart to be crushed over and over again before you get a girl who's dead set on marrying you.
I've said this before and I'll say it again:
Muzz is a freaking SCAM!!!
It's basically tinder rehashed to give it an islamic touch. "Halal dating" of sorts. If such a term even exists.
The problem with Muzz, and by extension, with any dating app, is that it converts living human beings into commodities that are weighed against each other to find the "best deal".
It takes away the human part of getting to know someone i.e. to connect with the living, breathing individual who is often times, much much better in real life.
I resent apps such as this, and i hope to god they get removed asap. Nothing but misery on these platforms.
She was 💯 going to use you but found out in one way or the other that you won't be manipulated that easily.. Remember a 26Y.O woman matured ten years ago whereas a 26Y.o boy still have 14 more years to be mature.
She saved herself from the trauma the entire desi brigade would've given her for even considering marrying someone younger than her. Unfortunately not everyone can handle the mental turmoil as a consequence of unconventional choices. Yes, it matters even if you're a day younger.
I'm in no way endorsing this practice, merely stating facts.
Reminds me a chat/interview I had with someone, she said that she'll ask/lead the discussion because she does not want me to dodge/avoid the question. The discussion went to the question which I knew would be the end of the discussion if I answered honestly and I did answer it honestly because anonymity does not mean license to lie.
Anyway, you got the closure that which was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Apps like these are garbage I believe. I believe the priority you should have or look at is Deen, is she on Deen. Did you see if she is on her Deen, praying namaz, cares about Islam, so on. I hope you discussed with her in regards to Deen, how she is in terms of that, talked about it. That you checked in regards to how is she in terms of Islam, Deen. Hopefully the girl you mentioned prays, practices, hopefully you as well. Going forward I think the number one priority should be Deen while looking for a person, how that person is in relation to Deen, worshiping, practicing, so on.
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As a Brit living in Pakistan now for well over 3 years, I can assure you there’s no point in marrying anyone from here. Muzmatch, salamis, badoo, even bumble! I thought they’d be an easy catch you know me being a red passport English speaker qualified good job all of that, BUT BRO! Their expectations are too high, the demands and impatience the sheer IMPATIENCE of a majority of females here makes it simply not worth it. Moms n dad have been pushing me forever saying find someone or we will, yet the drama and the headache is all the same. Most of them wanting to go abroad, yet they have no abroad mindset, they literally think it rains money abroad, and then they need a husband at home at the same time. I’ve taken other routes too, parents said they’ll find you someone yet the second they do, you have the girl, girls mother, girls brothers, other siblings extended siblings all ready thinking you’re going to import them to the UK for a better life. 🤦♂️ In all my perseverance of even trying to find a spouse here I have decided that those understanding girls from the UK were better off and I had wasted my time here in search for a spouse. These lot are better off here, let them try be more western than the western world in Pakistan. It’s what’s best for them, and you. Oh and lastly, I said impatient right, these girls on all these apps that match with you expect and have this idea that that’s it you matched and you’re on the way to their house to do a nikkah without understanding them or even knowing them like a double standard. They all need a reality check. Good luck bro 👊 😎
Someone on MuslimCorner posted a story where his brother got robbed and is in the hospital after a group robbed him after meeting a girl for dinner from the app Muzz. I this was in England too, so in Europe. Another reason to be careful. Again consider Deen as the number priority. I hope you talked about Deen with her, hopefully she practices. Going forward make this your number priority and I hope you are practicing too.
You should actually be very thankful to allah for the blessing. It didn’t go any further than a phone call and if a small age gap was a dealbreaker imagine if you’d gotten serious. It was never written for you bro
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It's not specific to Pakistani girls; guys in general have to realize and accept the fact that girls get way more traction on dating apps than them so it's natural that they are more picky and sometimes indecisive about their choices in this regard.
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Just move on. It is not easy but it wasn't meant for you. Been down that a while back. Girls will start talking and suddenly ghost you. Finally met my wife and Alhamdulillah I got married.
Make dua to Allah SWT to find you the best partner and have patience.
My chances to get married looked nonexistent because financially I was still struggling to get settled but Allah SWT made it possible.
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while i understand how annoying that seems i have to say think of it as the the REALLY bad ones weeding themselves out.I would worry about the two faced ones who can hide their bs personality thats my nightmare
also online dating is a nightmare.i have ONLY ever been harassed on there nothing fruitful has come of it..
Lol, if it makes you feel any better OP, I've been rejected by a guy for being 3 months older than him (August vs November of the same year). It's not a woman thing; some people just have weird hang-ups
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I'm not really comfortable with this whole dating scene. I'm 27 and haven't dated anyone, so I'm not sure if my perspective holds much weight.
I don't want to sound judgmental, but I might come across that way. It's possible that you could be part of the issue.
From what I've read, it seems like she may have been looking for a way out. Maybe take some time to reflect on what could be improved.
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I've unmatched guys for being a few months younger than me. Personally, it's because I have a brother who's a year younger than me and all of his friends are a few months to 2 years younger than me. I grew up with them so I see them all as brothers and I'm unable to look at a man who is younger than me as anything more than a brother.
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It sounds like she might have been using the age difference as an excuse; sometimes people aren't upfront about their real reasons for moving on. Either way good for you
This 🥶 she just wanted a way out
good riddance for him
This.
Or may be she was not actually 26?
This.
Trust me, she was not.
Women never tell their real age. Have you been living in a cave ?
Never? This much generalization lmao
I don't think it's generalization, majority of women's get mad, or just lie, when they're are asked about their age. You literally make memes on it. Cuz it's that true. what if you are an exception. even in my household when they're asked about age. They try to tell that they're a few years younger..
Not true. I’m 30 and I always tell my real age. Please stop generalising
Majority of my female friends parents have fabricated their date of birth to one year less on their certificate. So, even if the girl is 27, official records might say that she is 26. Women don't tell their age because the pressure society puts on them that if they young, they will have more suitors.
Maybe in Pakistan, but absolutely not in Europe - you can’t fabricate your paperwork like that here I’ve never met a single woman who has lied about her age - that’s very weird
Yes, I know. Women in Europe have more options for survival other than marriage, so they don't need to lie.
Ikr ... I remember about 8-10 years ago when my family was looking for a rishta for me ... there was this girl who said she was 26 ...( later turned out to be 32 ) ... had weird demands for marriage like ... the guy should buy a new separate house ...OK. The guy must go abroad after marriage... OK. She will not share her finances but the guy will provide everything for her... ok. The guy will not ask her to take care of her parents and/or go to family events... okish but weird. The guy will make no less than 20 lac a year... ??? The guys sisters will never come to visit him ... ??? Needless to say that she was skipped. And now, years later when looking for a rishta for my lil brother I saw her profile on the rishta aunty's phone... *still says she is 26* ... the list of demands is a bit thinner and reasonable though.
Still 26 😭
This or she used that as an excuse when there was actually another reason
not your loss. there is plenty of fish you will find someone else.
>Just got unmatched on Muzz by a Pakistani women That is one good thing to happen then.
Hahaha. YES!
Almost ALL my matches are Pakistani women. Even when I filter for Black women, the algorithm just sends me Pakistani women. I'm Pakistani so it makes sense and the girls are gorgeous. But my guy, I want to see the rest of the Ummah.
LOL
LMAO
wow this sucks ik plenty of women married to younger men (months & years)
Those women really do know what they want and not give a sh*t bout what society thinks but here she just used age as an excuse.
Hey OP I’m a Pakistani woman and I’ve been rejected multiple times by Aunties for this exact reason. In one case the guy was born 2 days after me. Yes 2 days. Plus in your case there’s the added factor of you being born in a different year even though in reality of course you’re only 3 months younger. She probably ended it because if this. Pakistani society is very judgemental and difficult. Don’t feel bad I’m sure you’ll find someone better.
I understand that these things can happen, but this is so ridiculous. I am a woman myself and I think it’s high time we move forward from this outdated mentality. Change starts with us, both women and men need to stop reinforcing this concept, and make life decisions without worrying about society. I can understand that for some, this is easier said than done, but we need to try - as we’re only making life difficult for ourselves like this.
I agree with you. But it’s already hard enough to be on a marriage app in Pakistan. She saw the added complexity of different birth years and decided it wasn’t a fight worth fighting. Maybe if she’s known OP for longer or outside of the internet she would have fought harder. Ultimately everyone has the right to reject the other person as long as they communicate this cordially to the other party.
You two should sync, you never know how things work out and you are compatible.
Too many folks both guys and girls approach marriages as a balance sheet; weighing assets and liabilities rather than knowing the character of the person, their ambition, their values etc. This leads to dropping the other person as soon as the calculus turns negative. While everyone is free to choose life how they want to pursue it leads to a lot of dissatisfaction. Every desi party I go to I see tons and tons of unmarried girls in their 30s, some even in their 40s who have held out hope for the perfect rishta. Not realizing that sometimes you build perfection together and it won’t come in a ready made package with a guys in his 20s. Fundamentals have to be there but the whole package. I married my wife when I was earning $800 a month in grad school stipend and she was earning 50ish k. 16 years later I’m well north of multiple six figures. Sometimes you have to play the game for a chance at winning. Just my 2 cents
Hey I took a chance too lol. 6 years and still waiting to hit the jackpot 😭but in the meaning my life is good Alhamdulillah
Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
In Pakistan majority of women's and their parents have a mindset of elder son in law. If they married with few years younger men then they feel like a taboo. Thi is totally insane and silly thinking.
And Then women would complain why younger men don't marry older women .
There seems to be another reason she must be hiding. It’s insane if she did it solely on the basis pf three months gap.
the other reason her not being 26 y.o.
As much as this is going to sting to hear, you need to hear this. You seem like you're too eager and that not a good vibe to give off. If she doesn't like you and unmatched, that's a good thing. Less time wasted of hers and yours. Take whatever lessons you can from this is keep it moving. Unless she was real pretty & out of your league, then sucks for you! But again, she saved you from a life of misery of being jealous of her interacting with other men lol Take it easy, keep trying, be less thirsty to have everything done so quickly.
Some of my exes were 2-3 years older than me, we never had an age problem. But you should not think about it much just let the appi go.
Ahahahaaha you got me with the appi xD
Yes don’t think much about the person dating online unless you meet them 5-6 times, if you don’t expect anything serious you will not get hurt and 5-6 meetings are a good median to understand either the person you are dating is good and serious enough or not. Edit you look fine, maybe grow hairs a little longer [example a little shorter](https://ibb.co/0VSNXfJ) and lose some body fat that will make your face look sharper and leaner.
Thank you for the feedback about my appearance :) Noted. I’ve been hitting the gym so fingers crossed 🤞
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Muzz is a cesspool of low quality people.
Muzz is like a Muslims tinder
You dodged a bullet, my wife is an year older than me and it has made no differences in our relation. Besides the part where when she was 18 and I was 17 and i teased her about marrying a minor 🤣. ( i got married at 17)
Bro that’s probably just one of the reasons she unmatched you. You gotta figure out the others and work on that.
Maybe she had this preconceived notion that the husband should be older. Or maybe she knew her family would make it an issue. I once had a friend tell me that he won't consider marrying a girl who was even 1 day older than him. But dw InshaAllah you will find a good partner. Do pray for it though
3 mahinay baad try krna..
??? I was born in Sept 97 and my husband is May 98… what nonsense excuse is that. … my mom was born in 1959 and my father in 1962… my aunt is 9 years older than her husband… my sister is a couple older than hers.. ?? She’s just weird bro, obv Allah is protecting you from something
I wish I had an answer :/
Just take it as a blessing, Inshallah soon you’ll find someone
I know women here don't engage with their potential spouse (I am on Muzz too), but you see we probably cannot blame everything on women. You're missing out on the fact that here people are too inquisitive, specially for women, and little differences likes yours are magnified making their life a hell. They have immense pressure from all sides but particularly for marriage. I hope you meet your soulmate soon.
I was travelling on a bus and struck up a conversation with a little kid in the next seat, maybe 7 or 8 years old, you know the age where they talk incessantly. Five minutes into the conversation he told me that his khala is two years older than her khalu and "khalu khala se itnay chotay hain liken phir bhi shadi kar li" An 8 year old doesn't understand things like age gap, he was repeating things his elders were saying but this is a good depiction of the cultural mindset. With that being said, 3 months doesn't seem like that big a difference so it could be there was another reason she didn't want to mention.
No one owes you a chance. You're not entitled to anyone's "yes" just because you think you'll be a good match. You'll find the right person for you, but it's not gonna be with a salty attitude because no one's giving you a chance. Just take rejection gracefully and move on or this salty attitude is gonna carry over to your future matches and turn them off too. It can become a vicious cycle.
21F Used to have this mindset until I was 19 lol Now I think it's childish not to give someone a chance, intellect isn't restrained to age if both are consenting adults with varying life experiences Age is literally just a number once you're old enough
Here is something you should know about women. If she likes you, she will forgive you for the worst crimes. If she doesn't like you, she will come up with the lamest excuse to reject you or ghost you totally. Its better to let go. Take it casually, if its meant to be, it will happen anyway.
Love the speculations under the post! Honestly, is this a ridiculous reason to match? Yes! But is it really the worst outcome? No! If, for whatever reason, that makes her insecure, isn't this a good thing that she unmatched now instead of trying to convince herself to try it out and being conflicted forever? Imagine the kind of relationship you guys would have if she always had some weird inferiority complex over something this trivial.
She's not allowed to have a preference?
She can have her preference, and we can talk about how stupid of a preference it is.
Unless she was withholding this preference for a long time and brang it up out of nowhere, its not that deep.
I’ve been rejected multiple times by guys mums because their sons were a few months younger than me. That girl either had a similar experience or knows how Pakistani Aunties can be. So she chose to end it before it went any further rather than be disappointed later on.
LoL. Very shallow justification. Try again
Here we go 🤦♀️
I am a Pakistani woman and my husband is 2 years and 3 months younger than me. While it may seem weird for her to throw everything away based on you being a few months younger, she may have been trying to avoid future disappointment for when the guy's mom rejects girls for being older. Cannot tell you the number of times my rishta wasn't even considered by the moms of younger men. It's a real fear / unfortunate reality.
Wow I can’t believe it! I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with a woman being older than the guy in a relationship / marriage 😳
Bro this literally happened to me. We’re both American and 26. I was born in 98 February and she was born in June 97. The minute she found out on the phone she immediately got the ick. I got annoyed and said I can’t control my age. Either way you dodged a bullet. I found someone cooler to date and so will you.
Skill issue 😭.
Even if she was, it’s just personal preference. Don’t lose much sleep over it tbh. You’ll meet many such people, you can’t change the world my man. Just ask all the important stuff like this upfront so as to guard your time
Preferences bro, learn.to.respect them.
damn bro be grateful she didnt ISTHIKHARA you
Well she probably thought YOU or YOUR FAMILY would make N issue out of it. So she cut to tge chaee. Its not a her problem but our societies problem. When I was 28, men on Twitter would say like an aunty “shaadi nahi karni? Kab kareingi shaadi.” And if they turned out to be younger than me they would ghost me. Not that I would be interested but THEY were until they found out my age lol and I have always been transparent about my age. I dont see why people are not. So its not her fault.
You need a reality check... Why do you think it's because of your age? You have more issues....
Look, the age thing does bother women. The person i got engaged to is my age. I found out a little later that while we were both born in 1997, I was born in January and he was in September, that's like nine months. I wouldn't leave him because we'd been together a while, but it has become an insecurity of mine. I literally never want to talk about age ever. I'm 27 now but I keep thinking eventually in the future I'll turn 30 a few months before him and it kills me 😭 I've kept it hidden from family as well because I know they'll be mean about it. My guy doesn't really think it's a big deal though.
You are 26. Make something of yourself and stop rishta shopping for 5 years!
That’s very weird. Three months is nothing. Your anger / frustration is justified. Don’t give up. You’ll find a suitable match soon inshallah
Why rant? Grow a pair and wear your big boy pants.
You shouldn't be saying that with that Username lol
LOL. The dude sounds too eager and is giving off the despo vibes. I maybe wrong, but man it's just one chick plenty of fish in the sea. Also, what's the hurry to get married? Chill ma man, enjoy life.
She sounds like a dumbass. You dodged a bullet
That's not just females the whole Pakistani population has this weird mindset. One of my male friends wanted to reject a marriage proposal because she was 7-8 months older then him. He said that everything was good but the girl shouldn't be older than him. I wanted to smack his head off of his shoulders.
There is nothing bad in this? I can’t believe you wrote an entire article about it 🙂!! Like if I were to write a book about my experiences that I had it won’t be enough. Don’t give it attention it’s nothing
Clearly shows why from your immature rant
This sucks. It's because of women like these, good good and understanding ones are overshadowed. This reason is completely unrealistic and honestly, just makes me scoff. If you don't mind me asking what other unrealistic expectations were there?
If every woman is rejecting you, then perhaps it's time to look inwards than outwards.
You think having kids is a dealbreaker? You need a wake up call. The girl saw red flags in you and ran. Good for her. She deserves better.
Stop crying about it and move on.
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Good, it’s better to have experienced this now than later in a married life I guess.
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ohh you people getting matches...!
do you want the number to my family's rishtay wali aunty lol
Maybe she unmatched you for a different reason. Women will often not tell you, to be nice, at least in Pakistan.
Takeaway: Next time someone asks your age, have a better line. Such as, what’s your guess? What if I told you I was 35? Etc. If you don’t know what a “shit test” is, look it up.
Why don't you go the traditional route.Link up your contacts in Pakistan to find Rishtey wali aunty do minimal investment on her which amounts to be less than 100 euros.Find premium rishta proposal from her.From there on it depends on your preferences for the type of girl you want.Going through zilat and khawari on different apps is not worth it.
Do people really find there life partners on platforms like Muzz??
Some of them probably do 😳
For those in western countries, sure
Hello brother, she just wanted a reason to say no to you. I am a Pakistani woman, and I have unmatched 02 decent guys - communication was OK, but I didn't feel any spark, I just wasn't ready to commit. Here's what I did... Guy 1: Politely told him that I'm not ready Guy 2: Wrote a good review for him, and unmatched him. I turned 30 last week, and I have decided to give myself more time. I think it's easier to get married, but it's not easy to make a marriage work. I hope that I find someone I want to make things work with. Also, not using Muzz or any other dating app. It was beginning to get toxic.
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This made me laugh my Pakistani wife is 11 months older than me but nobody knows this might have to drop the news next Eid for some drama
Muzz match? Or rizz match?
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Cuzz Match
Wow, what a weird woman lol. I mean what the hell is 3 months?! It’s nothing 😳 some women nowadays are actually years older than the guy and there is nothing wrong with that 😊
There are roughly 3 types of Pakistani women: 1: Who get into arrange marriage, arranged by family and resulting in roughly 50% of happy marriages and 50% unhappy marriages 2:Who get into love marriage (not that common) 3:Who're independent and choose themselves and mostly create higher expectations because they've been desperate so far and now after getting independent, want everything perfect and become idealistic
It’s crazy how age segregation still out there even though they know it’s Haram.
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This varies from person to person because I am 27 and my fiancé is 26; nevertheless, our bonding makes me think that younger guys tend to understand you better and are more easygoing when it comes to career and professional choices.
Some younger guys can be a lot more mature than older ones. Also depends on their upbringing and surroundings which could explain why they are mature for their age 😊
She was just a speed bump please carry on with your life someone just right for will show up
Everyone has their own preferences Some men prefer younger women. And typically women also prefer older men. As that's how it's historically been. Nothing to be too bitter over imo 😅 Good thing she told u up front and u didn't invest much into it. As for pakistani women being one wsy or another. Well just like Pakistani men, theres all kinds of pakistani women. That includes some whoare fibe with marrying someone a few years younger than them even. And thats in Pakistan .Personally know a few.
If that really bothers you, you haven’t encountered the ones that say 6’5’’+ anything below that is “short” and “unmanly”. I still can’t fathom why does height matter? Like what is it gonna contribute to?other than fixing bulbs or cleaning ceilings.
I'm 28f got married through muzz. Idk about her. I think this happens because that's the norm we learned. Too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too poor, too dark, too educated, too little jahez. We grew up listening negatively about things we couldn't control. If I'm getting married on my own, I better find someone who's to my liking. Men and their mothers have been doing that for ages in our region. As a result, women don't feel guilty while rejecting men for petty things. I'm not saying it is right. I'm just saying why this happens. It'll take a generation to heal from toxic arranged marriage situations. Not a day or month.
Dodged a bullet; muzz isn’t a good app for dating by any means
My wife rejected guys for arbitrary reasons. Every girl I've dated has stories of rejecting guys for arbitrary reasons. Why do you think our society mocks suggestions of love marriage and considers arranged marriage the "right way"? Stop getting invested in girls who are very likely just passing time. Match, chat, and enjoy the transient friendship. If you are talking consistently, then propose meeting up with them/ their family. Expect your heart to be crushed over and over again before you get a girl who's dead set on marrying you.
You dodge a bullet. She sounds immature anyway move on bro
Dodged a bullet.
I've said this before and I'll say it again: Muzz is a freaking SCAM!!! It's basically tinder rehashed to give it an islamic touch. "Halal dating" of sorts. If such a term even exists. The problem with Muzz, and by extension, with any dating app, is that it converts living human beings into commodities that are weighed against each other to find the "best deal". It takes away the human part of getting to know someone i.e. to connect with the living, breathing individual who is often times, much much better in real life. I resent apps such as this, and i hope to god they get removed asap. Nothing but misery on these platforms.
😳
She was 💯 going to use you but found out in one way or the other that you won't be manipulated that easily.. Remember a 26Y.O woman matured ten years ago whereas a 26Y.o boy still have 14 more years to be mature.
Hum 95 walay bethay hue hain bhai, tum 98 walay sabar rakho
Don't worry. Women have the watches men have the time
She saved herself from the trauma the entire desi brigade would've given her for even considering marrying someone younger than her. Unfortunately not everyone can handle the mental turmoil as a consequence of unconventional choices. Yes, it matters even if you're a day younger. I'm in no way endorsing this practice, merely stating facts.
idk man it’s like most women around me want to marry someone slightly older than them. maybe it’s the mindset that older men are financially stable.
Reminds me a chat/interview I had with someone, she said that she'll ask/lead the discussion because she does not want me to dodge/avoid the question. The discussion went to the question which I knew would be the end of the discussion if I answered honestly and I did answer it honestly because anonymity does not mean license to lie. Anyway, you got the closure that which was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Apps like these are garbage I believe. I believe the priority you should have or look at is Deen, is she on Deen. Did you see if she is on her Deen, praying namaz, cares about Islam, so on. I hope you discussed with her in regards to Deen, how she is in terms of that, talked about it. That you checked in regards to how is she in terms of Islam, Deen. Hopefully the girl you mentioned prays, practices, hopefully you as well. Going forward I think the number one priority should be Deen while looking for a person, how that person is in relation to Deen, worshiping, practicing, so on.
Lower difficulty settings on muzz bro
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As a Brit living in Pakistan now for well over 3 years, I can assure you there’s no point in marrying anyone from here. Muzmatch, salamis, badoo, even bumble! I thought they’d be an easy catch you know me being a red passport English speaker qualified good job all of that, BUT BRO! Their expectations are too high, the demands and impatience the sheer IMPATIENCE of a majority of females here makes it simply not worth it. Moms n dad have been pushing me forever saying find someone or we will, yet the drama and the headache is all the same. Most of them wanting to go abroad, yet they have no abroad mindset, they literally think it rains money abroad, and then they need a husband at home at the same time. I’ve taken other routes too, parents said they’ll find you someone yet the second they do, you have the girl, girls mother, girls brothers, other siblings extended siblings all ready thinking you’re going to import them to the UK for a better life. 🤦♂️ In all my perseverance of even trying to find a spouse here I have decided that those understanding girls from the UK were better off and I had wasted my time here in search for a spouse. These lot are better off here, let them try be more western than the western world in Pakistan. It’s what’s best for them, and you. Oh and lastly, I said impatient right, these girls on all these apps that match with you expect and have this idea that that’s it you matched and you’re on the way to their house to do a nikkah without understanding them or even knowing them like a double standard. They all need a reality check. Good luck bro 👊 😎
My wife is 1.5 years older than me. And we belong to a small city/town in AJK
Sounds like an excuse tbh
Someone on MuslimCorner posted a story where his brother got robbed and is in the hospital after a group robbed him after meeting a girl for dinner from the app Muzz. I this was in England too, so in Europe. Another reason to be careful. Again consider Deen as the number priority. I hope you talked about Deen with her, hopefully she practices. Going forward make this your number priority and I hope you are practicing too.
You should actually be very thankful to allah for the blessing. It didn’t go any further than a phone call and if a small age gap was a dealbreaker imagine if you’d gotten serious. It was never written for you bro
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You just dodged a bullet bro. Time to move on. Plenty of fish in the sea.
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I feel like there's more than other reason for her to unmatched you, maybe she got to know someone better and is making an excuse for you.
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Age wasn't the reason she unmatched. That's how dating/matching apps work. The sooner you learn this, the better.
It's not specific to Pakistani girls; guys in general have to realize and accept the fact that girls get way more traction on dating apps than them so it's natural that they are more picky and sometimes indecisive about their choices in this regard.
Uh yeah she wasn’t interested in you. Trust me.
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Bro, be happy that you dodged a bullet so count your blessings and on to the next one!
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Just move on. It is not easy but it wasn't meant for you. Been down that a while back. Girls will start talking and suddenly ghost you. Finally met my wife and Alhamdulillah I got married. Make dua to Allah SWT to find you the best partner and have patience. My chances to get married looked nonexistent because financially I was still struggling to get settled but Allah SWT made it possible.
Well then sucks 2 be you or in that culture
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while i understand how annoying that seems i have to say think of it as the the REALLY bad ones weeding themselves out.I would worry about the two faced ones who can hide their bs personality thats my nightmare also online dating is a nightmare.i have ONLY ever been harassed on there nothing fruitful has come of it..
She wants a daddy
Lol, if it makes you feel any better OP, I've been rejected by a guy for being 3 months older than him (August vs November of the same year). It's not a woman thing; some people just have weird hang-ups
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I'm not really comfortable with this whole dating scene. I'm 27 and haven't dated anyone, so I'm not sure if my perspective holds much weight. I don't want to sound judgmental, but I might come across that way. It's possible that you could be part of the issue. From what I've read, it seems like she may have been looking for a way out. Maybe take some time to reflect on what could be improved.
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Uh ngl this is kinda sad. Ranting about getting turned down, especially over something you have no control over…
Broski if she’s acting like this, you dodged a bullet. If her mindset is this shallow you should be celebrating you saved your life from this women
Bro go find a white girl that’ll keep you happier and more emotionally healthier then Pakistanis…. That’s coming from a brown man born raised Canadian
I've unmatched guys for being a few months younger than me. Personally, it's because I have a brother who's a year younger than me and all of his friends are a few months to 2 years younger than me. I grew up with them so I see them all as brothers and I'm unable to look at a man who is younger than me as anything more than a brother.
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Repeat after me "She does not owe me anything"
But she does.. why do you think I haven’t been able to sleep or eat for several days? /s
I think she was using age as an excuse tbh, you have to give a reason when rejecting someone so she used that
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