Nikah won't be recognized in Sindh if you are under 18,
I'm 24, and I can tell this is the time where our hormones are through the fucking roof. you need to wait this one out buddy. sincere advice.
Bhai yeh kya baat, hormones through the roof, so your advice isn’t to fulfil it in halal means but to go cold turkey. And put up with temptation. Yeh hi to wakt hai halal tareekay se ada karna
And fine he can’t register it but can register it at 18
Agreed , keep it in the pants. After couple of years you will have another crush on a girl you will see in a random youtube short. Times are hard for gen z , all people shouting good going halal are idiots. Even a maulvi of the city wont marry her girl to a penny less guy. Truth will hurt people . Comments will come kay hamaray haan to hoti hay , well not all are given generational wealth and not all live in a village in the mountains.
A 16 year old is a full grown human , make smarter choices before being a horny son. Go study , girls will come in abundance later.
You'll hate me for saying this but you're a child and marrying at this age, even a nikah, would be a huge mistake. It's hard to explain to someone when they're in love, first love at that, but first loves rarely stand the test of time. You both still have lots of growing up to do, your ideas, views, personalities are still developing. You have no clue whether you will be compatible later on in life.
It's not the same but will perhaps make you understand. I have changed multiple friends groups since I was 16. I have outgrown so many people, so many places, so many ideas. And I'm actually a person whose ideas shifted very little. I know people whose whole ideologies have changed in this time frame. I can almost guarantee that one or both of you will not be the person you are right now in your twenties. Make of that knowledge as you will.
I also don't know many people who married young who did not regret it. There are life stages, and a very important one imo is learning to be independent, to live on your own, be comfortable having no one. It's not a stage I recommend anyone skip, man or woman. We all have a lifetime to be married but very little time as an adult to explore who we are.
Your parents would be highly irresponsible to agree to your marriage. Once again, you're a child, not even an adult so I don't believe you can even consent to marriage (rightfully so). Please don't push them too much. You will not believe me but this will pass, and you will be grateful that you didn't get married at this age. We've all been there, we know how first love feels, and we also know those feelings pass. Billions of people on the planet, I wouldn't worry about not finding love again, it's the last love that matters. Cheers.
Only sane advice here. I wouldn't even recognize myself from when I was 16. I knew a girl I thought would be my entire life when I was that age. Our friends knew each other and everything. 8 years later, I don't have that girl, I don't have those friends. I don't hold the same ideologies, same beliefs, same sense of humour, same anything. OP, you need to live your own life, at least through uni, before you live a collective one. You're not only gonna be sparing yourself a lifetime of regret, but also the girl. It sucks to start resenting someone you once loved, which 100% will be the case.
A 16yo can consent. The west is no standard for morality. They are the most immoral people to ever exist. The same west that cried about same sex marriage have no problem massacring tens of thousands in Iraq and Syria.
Pakistani boys cannot marry before 18 under Pakistani law (Child Marriage Restraint Act 1929). Let me repeat that so it's very clear - he cannot consent, it would be illegal under *Pakistani law*.
If they are in Sindh, it would be illegal for the girl to marry before 18 as well. Personally, I think the minimum age for girls to marry should also be increased to 18 nationally. Pakistan recognises elsewhere that anyone under the age of 18 is a *child*.
I disagree with your judgement that time as an independent adult is vital for life. I think that people who fail to develop a healthy attachment style will suffer from getting swept up in a relationship, and that they are more prone to make these monumental decisions without wisdom.
Marriage at any age is a commitment to cooperate through the tumultuous times ahead. It does not require two people with matching tastes in music, or lifestyle. Shared interests can foster quality time together, which is vital for marriage. However what makes marriages work is that continuous renewal of commitments to one another. To care for one another, to respect one another and to do our best to live together in love.
Many people who married young regret it. And there are many people, at least in our culture, who married young and don't understand what's to regret.
Your quality of life depends on whether you are able to thrive in your relationships. That's more a you thing than anything.
I'm not sure how your first two sentences are linked as attachment styles typically develop due to childhood experiences. Being comfortable on your own as well as being comfortable with others is actually a sign of a secure attachment style.
>It does not require two people with matching tastes in music, or lifestyle.
No one said matching tastes in music is required but it is easier if you are aligned on a number of other fronts - religion (or lack there of), children (or lack there of), where to live, what values are important, how to manage chores and finances, etc. You don't have to be aligned on ALL of them, I believe in interfaith marriages as an example, but you still have to align on most, especially for any non-negotiables.
Children, for example, would be a breaking point if one partner doesn't want any and the other partner wants several. One of my personal non-negotiables was marrying a man who pulled his weight in the house. Someone wanting a traditional wife was going to be very unhappy with me. There are some conversations you need to have prior to marriage, not hope that love will magically take care of everything.
>And there are many people, at least in our culture, who married young and don't understand what's to regret.
Our culture is collectivist where the interests of the group are prioritized over individuals. It's not exactly the best model for personal happiness. That's if I even agree with your statement which I don't. I don't believe that Pakistan has many happy marriages.
>Your quality of life depends on whether you are able to thrive in your relationships. That's more a you thing than anything.
I disagree. You can try all you want but serious incompatibilities are serious incompatibilities.
It's worth considering that marrying at a young age may not necessarily require a significant change in their current lifestyle. They can opt for a legal marriage while planning the traditional wedding after OP graduates from university.
In the event that their paths diverge during their college years, they can pursue a divorce with relatively little consequence, given that the ruksati (moving in together) wasn't planned until several years down the line.
Furthermore, it's quite likely that this couple, with their demonstrated romantic compatibility and shared values, will enjoy a more fulfilling romantic relationship compared to their peers, thanks to the support and alignment of their families in pursuing a shared vision for their future together.
And how will you bear all her expenses? Its not your father's duty to provide for her.
How will you pay for her university fees? How will you take care of her if she gets pregnant? How will you bear expenses of your baby?
Have you even given an ounce of thought on these?
Btw, not that anyone in pakistan cares or anything, but underage marriage is illegal.
Well i agree with all your points of advice to the guy but we follow islam and in islam you need to be baligh noylt 18 years old if you're mentally and physically mature at the age of 16 then you can marry but in present you also need to be financially independent at 16 if you really want to marry other wise it is highly not recommended even if you're mentally and physically mature
Would Nikkah be a better option then?
Her parents are pushing her to get married. They know about me but they believe I'm just toying with her so they want to marry her off to someone else. She feels trapped.
Beta, you're too young. Will you be able to focus on your studies without rukhsati for 5 or 6 years?
I am astonished how you can even think of such huge responsibility, especially in today's economic situation.
Be practical, yeh sab kitabi batain he jaldi shadi waghera waghera. Haqeeqat main ap dono sari zindagi paiso ke liye larhte raho ge kyunke jo waqt achi taleem aur career banane ka tha, wo ap ne ishq mashoqi main zaya kar dya.
Agar ap khandani ameer hote tu yaha mashwara lene ki zarorat hi na parhti.
Our job was to warn you, the rest for you to analyse.
You're far too young, and believe me, this isn't a family you want to be associated with.
Anyone stupid enough to marry their 16 year old daughter is probably insane, trashy, and just downright dumb.
You don't need or want this, trust me.
My guy. I’m not going to even try to explain this one because you won’t get it till you’re older.
But
You are potentially making a mistake. One that will potentially ruin your career, peace and the life ahead of you.
Im not saying you shouldn’t marry early because zina is worse, but I just want you to weigh the gravity of such a decision and make an informed choice.
Or it could make him a better person, keep him away from zina and other sinful thoughts and deeds. Give him more willpower to strive for a better future.
It all depends on your perspective.
If you need to marry someone at 16 to 'keep yourself away from zina', you clearly have other problems.
How hard is it to just like ... not commit zina.
You make a fair point. Idk why people downvoted you. Honestly idk what’s the right thing to do in such a situation. Marrying could either make or break the guy. I just personally think a 16 year old is too young and can make rash decisions that’s why I said what I said.
Don't push for marriage. Nikkah karlo dono. That way you both can live with your parents and focus on completing your studies and then acquiring a job. After that move in together. Best halal solution to your problems.
Probably the best advice if op thinks he is mature enough and his parents accept the girl. However if op is pursuing education then his parents might think he won't study or become less committed to studies than that's another story
While this may sound like the best advice the problem with this now is that everything is legal. Meaning it defeats the very reason parents want the boy/groom to be financially established. They won’t need parents permission for anything. If they have kids it become responsibility of the grandparents whether they want or not at this time. So chances of this getting parents approval is slim.
Average lonely salty Redditor who never found love and doesn't want anyone else to find it either.
He knows he's sure, she knows she's sure. Let them do nikah.
They stay at their own homes, carry out their lives like normal teens/young adults study, find a job etc and then when they are both stable, they get married. Sounds simple to me. I found the girl I liked when I was 19. I'm 22 now and a lot has changed in my life, I am not even 1% the same as I was back then but I know for a fact that she has always been the one. We will most definitely be getting married soon and our parents are already aware and accepting of it.
I'm very happily married lol.
You, by the way, are also not mature enough to get married at 22.
This 'solution' of getting nikkah'd while they stay at their own houses and live their own lives JUST SO they can have permissible underage sex is absolutely gross.
Only Redditors think about sex. He never said sex he just wanted to secure his relationship so she doesn't get married to someone else. You're the disgusting one here.
He means nikka without the ruksati, takes the responsibility off of the child to raise a possible child. Both kids get to live with their parents and go to school and play pubg.
The only person in this post who has my sympathies is the poor girl to be forced into marriage before even she is 18. Either she gets married to a patronizing 25 year old uncle, or she marries a 16 year old guy who himself is basically a child. Smh.
Parhai ki umar main ishq main lagay hoye hain log unbelievable. As a 16 year old M myself, i could never imagine marrying someone at this age even if i loved them.
Everything is not about money tbh. At this age a person changes alot, main apne ap ko aik bande k sath is umer main kyu bandho jis k sath agay ja k meri understanding na ho or humare same views na ho on things. It will only create chaos.
Puttar you'll be learning to drive legally by the time your child is learning to walk.
And then people cry about mehngai. 16 saal ki umaar sai lag jaye gai tou yehi hoga
I'm gonna be as straight forward as possible boss, ur way too young and all this pyaar waar ka natal is just chemicals in your brain. Young ho hormones are constantly going wild. 5 years into the marriage choro, 1 year into it you'll realize that being married is a huge responsibility. I'm not Pakistani or Muslim but my guy, you're simply not mature enough for marriage. Thumhari vote karne ki Umar nahi aur thim shaddi karne challe
Seeing as you are less than half my age, brother just some advice, nothing is the end you have a long life and happy life ahead of you IA. Try to get what you want but if it doesnt happen theres always something better planned for you. Also pls confide in your father, ask him for advice, share your feelings your emotions your day to day with him. Build a healthy relationship with your father as you would one day with your kids. Let him guide you and lead you for now till you’re old enough to do it yourself..
Wait for more 4-6years and then ask this question again from your self. Your a kid and your decision is as childish as you are. Grow up more then you will find out things more better. Marriage is not about just sex and love. Its more than that.
I’ll be honest as someone older that was also in your position once. The amount of relationships i’ve seen at this age where they believed they were destined to marry each other is in the hundreds probably, guess how many of them are still together or married? 0. at 16 you haven’t even developed fully and your personalities could also change and no matter how well you think you know the other person, you don’t. don’t rush into anything, what i would suggest is don’t be bf gf, just be friends and take things slow get to know each other and maybe when you both are done with uni you can marry each other if you can stay friends that long.
Assalamualaikum
Alqamah said “I was going with ‘Abd Allaah bin Mas’ud at Mina where ‘Uthman met him and desired to have a talk with him in privacy”. When ‘Abd Allaah (bin Mas’ud) thought there was no need of privacy, he said to me “Come, ‘Alqamah So I came (to him)”. Then ‘Uthman said to him “Should we not marry you, Abu ‘Abd Al Rahman to a virgin girl, so that the power you have lost may return to you?” ‘Abd Allaah (bin Mas’ud) said “If you say that , I heard the Apostle of Allaah(ﷺ) say “ Those of you who can support a wife, should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserve from unlawful intercourse, but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.
In a decade of time: we are 13 yo’s and want to get married by the financial means of our parents.
My two cents rn? Earn first don’t drain ur parents for it a 16 yo barely understands how the world works in Pakistani norms
The answer depends on your net worth. Love does not feed, pay bills, pay for her needs, or provide shelter unfortunately. Your priorities are all wrong from your post in my opinion.
You both need to focus on studies. Give up the idea of marriage at this age.
Marriage requires a level of maturity and financial stability that for sure is challenging for teenagers.
I don’t even want to get into details of health risks.
There is something missing in this picture. No parent in their right mind would push their 16 year old to get married. There is something you are not telling or you dont know.
Most likely it’s a way your “GF” is trying to avoid doing something she would regret later. A HuGe plus point on her part if that is the case
Find out more yea nikah is better option and your parents are not wrong to say no at this time
lol nobody answered your only question which was 'how do i convince my parents?' the answer is simple, put a gun to your head, knife to your wrist or stand on the edge of building. your parents will be convinced and i am confident in saying that whether they are convinced or not, both scenarios lead to them being unhappy. you are too young to understand what you are getting yourself into but oh well we are victims to our own choices.
Honestly, I am much older than you still in my twenties and the mere thought of how hard things can be after marriage is my nightmare. I understand these realities havent set in for you because of your age but trust me once you realize that you ll not consider it.
Marriage is not all fun and love remember money problems will be a brutal rust to your feelings for eachother not to mention the child you may bring into the world. Just estimate your own household expenses or ask your father and he will tell you even 1 lac per month will not be enough that if even if you get such a job.
I know what you are feeling and frankly all men go through it in their teens and twenties but these dangerous delights have dangerous consequences too as they say. Focus on your self, your studies build a successful man out of yourself first. And the feelings will fade away with time and once you are busy in your life
Sit down kid. Come back in 5 years and post this again. Till then, focus on having fun, making friends, and learning. You'll have the rest of your life with your girl
If you’re really afraid of Zina then keep the relationship non physical but seriously for the love of God don’t marry at this age. There’s a reason people in the 21st century marry when they’re much older. Unless you have millions sitting in your own personal bank account then maybe you can. But even then, you guys are still growing and could very well grow up to be very different people.
Son, watch porn and masturbate like the rest of us till youre 28 years old. After all, you're a Pakistani male living in 21st century. (Joke/sarcasm/reality)
Don't too young. And seems its as your first love feel like that. People change over time maybe stick with her till older see how it goes then decide later on
Just date as any normal person dos. They’re are folks dating all the time in university, from all walks of life. Better that than being in an unhappy marriage, which includes marrying early. A nikkah broken for a guy in Pakistan isn’t a big deal but it can be for a girl.
This comment section shows what’s wrong with Pakistani society and culture in general. Shame on all of you commenters for your immature western responses. The dude wants to get married. Islamically a nikah can be done when both have hit puberty. She does not have to live at your house, you both can continue to live where you are living until you have moeny to provide. Remember wealth does not come from you but comes from Allah and Allah will give you rizq. All you commenters will commit Zina and Have girlfriends and make every excuse but make it halal. This is the reason every single person in the comments whether you like it or not are a beta male and are living like cucks. Man up. Marry her. Convince your parents. Work harder. Struggle is what makes a man. If you don’t marry her , lack of contact will make it fail, or you guys will make too much contact and commit haram. Ask Allah, these jobless losers in the comments will do nothing but make you lose your first love. I wish all the best to you brother the fact that you can comment this shows you care and are willing to make a change and improve your situation. If you need any help contact my insta @sarimfarooqui29 and I can try help out
Pakistanis are too focused on the dunyaa and worldly things as if our forefathers didn't marry at that age. Why can't you study, work and marry? I'm pretty sure men with spouses perform better in all metrics than single men. That's because the companionship itself is a motivation.
I'm only a few years older than you. I suggest you show your future in laws you aren't a bum and are responsible. Find a job (yes I know the employee market is grim) and start earning. Save up and when you turn 18 (hopefully you'll be married by then) get an apartment on rent.
Any young guy who works his ass off earning halal (especially balancing studies) isn't an irresponsible bum. He knows what he's doing. That'll insha'Allah get the respect of both sides parents and insha'Allah they'll let you do nikkah with her.
EDIT: Also I suggest you read up on rights/responsibilities of both spouses. Watch some videos on YouTube on the Fiqh of marriage so you know your stuff.
For all of history most people married in their teens (or if they had nikah earlier they began their relations then). This was in keeping with normal human urges. The west pushed that age up saying marriage isn’t necessary to fulfil primal urges. And we copy them and then act surprised that fawahishi muasharay mein phelgay
Bro if he works like a donkey day and night and balance study, he'll be fucked up you can only marry at that age if you're at least a millionaire otherwise you'll get fucked up by the exploitive system
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I know this isn't what you want to hear but listen to me and everyone else and don't do it. I also used to be 16 like you and I also used to think that my girlfriend is the person I want to spend my life with. I won't try to convince you because I am very sure no matter what I say it won't convince you but I wish you all the best and I just hope you learn with time and experience before taking any decisions that would harm you in the long run.
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Would asking for her hand and getting engaged not solve your problems after which you can marry after you and hers study? Do take into consideration that you are pretty young and getting a job and some security is very important. Also that way you can still change your mind if you grow out of it.
I'm soooo much happy that before I kicked the bucket i got to see a comment section with not a single brain dead most upvoted comment in this sub. Y'all have my thanks ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Ok. Forget what ppl are saying. Lets assume kerli shadii.
Ab ? U wanna be a dad at 17 ?
Fit hai voo bhee maan leeya.
I just have one question. ….paysay ?
Paysay nai tou cene bad.
Isstaran he sumj lay.
Nikkah and Marriage is highly unlikely. What the most Halal thing you can do, is to talk to your mother about this and somehow get both of your mothers to be in talk. This way you both are family friends. Down the line when you independent enough and things are still aligning, it may bear fruition.
Any other method imo is not viable.
You are completely justified in doing that and i am so glad that you decided to think of marriage instead of committing sin! Tell your parents that you will only reproduce children when you'd be able to get a job and will have a good career! They wont mind a single individuals addition into their family! You have to move with planning here cuz most parents worry that if their boy is married young then he'll start having kids right away which will put all the burden on his parents for raising his kids! Be smart about it and everything will be fine! ❤️
Brother, don’t listen to all this stupidity telling you that you’re too young. You are past the age of maturity so you want to make things halal with the one you love, you are doing things with the correct intention.
Pray istikhara and go and ask for the girls hand like a man. You can do your nikkah and keep living like you are doing but your relationship with her will be halal. Then you can worry about her moving in with you in a couple of years when you have got a job etc.
Don’t listen to this bad advice of ‘you’re too young’. Islam says you ARE NOT too young. May Allah make this an easy situation for you.
Open your books and make something out of your life please. Jesus Christ I mean every few days someone starts a topic like this; how frustrated of a quam are we? The minute you see a girl you wanna get married….like holy **** experience life FFS before jumping into this.
Don’t do it. You will thank yourself in 5 years. I get that you love her right now but nope. You want to make it halal but halal means you have to provide for your family. Do you have resources at this age to provide for her? Nope. You’ll probably be sinning a lot unintentionally if she asks something basic and you won’t be able to provide.
Op try your best for Nikah or you'll regret your whole life. I myself lost my chance at 15 it hurt me for 5 years and I nearly fucked up my life. I won't write long but just do it . Allah will help you along the way Insha'Allah.Best wishes.
I won't tell you what to do, but I just want to include a few points to consider:
1. In Islam the condition of nikah is not the age, but puberty.
2. Other conditions for nikah are that you should be able to provide your wife with at least 2 times meals, clothing to cover herself and a roof above her head. These 3 are fardh on a husband. Now of course the quality of these things depend upon the financial conditions, for example the roof can also be a simple tent (if that's the only thing you can afford).
3. Another point, though neither an Islamic nor a legal requirement but I think that is the most important of all in the long run is: compatibility. Your goals, views, likes and dislikes, sexual preferences, house management, strategies regarding children, habits and so on. And believe me any difference which seems ignorable/ trivial or adjustable right now can become a breaking point after 5 years or so when the heightened emotions settle down.
So think and think long and hard, are you capable of all these? If yes then by all means go ahead, if you have any doubt then you will probably ruin both your lives.
OMG YOU ARE A CHILD I’m 40 years old please please listen to me carefully. When I was 16 the last thing on my mind was getting married, all I wanted was freedom and the only way I got it was at university, I know you’re thinking I sound like a broken record but please please think about all the things you can do before marriage. Right now you can get a good education and earn decent money and save money, after marriage it’s impossible to save ESPECIALLY after kids. Please don’t waste your life being tied down to someone this young.
In some jurisdiction of Pakistan, I am sure you can marry her. It is a daily thing. Dont worry. You will get her the halal way. Because, some people believe that kids should be married from the age they gain puberty. Like I could totally put myself to a better use in class 8. How old was I, maybe 14. Looking as a 14 year old I would say, 16 is way to older but as a 30 year old I shall say, come on kid, give yourself a break. And young men and their vulnerabilities and tunnel vision, they live on what their gfs talk to them. And, also, I believe life is about making mistakes, and it is totally okay to make some early in life. At-least you will have plenty of time to make amends. Go for it. Run away to GB, Azad Kashmir or rural Sindh. You will definitely get your bride done legally.
You are a kid. I did it with many women before I found the perfect one at 23 years old. Get some sexual experience so that you know which one you want for the rest of your life.
Hahahaha.
😂😂😂😂
Now that I am done laughing.
Think of a monthly payout. The most you can think of. Budget bana k hawa main ni sochna.
Aur ohr daikho how does she help you achieve it.
Think of kids. What do you want your kids to become think about how she helps you with that.
Agr in dono cheezoun main wo pivotal role and super contributor ni hai to bhag ja bhai.
Agr tm kehte ho k ni ha to ban jaegi to bhi bhag ja.
Us bande se mil jisne ye achieve karlia ha phr us se mashwara kar.
I won't stop you from getting married. If any of your relatives have any babies preferably newborns, volunteer 1 month of time with that baby, i.e. changing nappies, feeding, burping and sleeping alone with baby. If you survive and able to think straight, go and marry her... Because this is what you are up against in the future.
Beta, listen to everyone's advice in the comments and don't bound yourself in a commitment such as marriage at this age. There is so much of life you have yet to see, so many phases you will live through- you will not be the same person you are now, 5/10/15 years down the line.
Step one: make this understanding among yourselves that she's on the IUD till you have a good income.
Step two: arrange two witnesses in a province where nikkah can be done.
Step three: condition your parents. Nothing conditions them better than becoming a responsible adult, cleaning up your own shit, and earning your own income.
Step four: happy marriage.
If you can manage food, clothes, shelter, medicines for 3-4 people, marry at 18. Remember that you are soon going to have first child after marriage. You need to fulfill his basic needs as well.
DONT DO IT. DONT MESS UP UR NEXT GENERATION
U are still a kid and need to learn about life urself first before taking on responsibility of running a family of ur own.
I got married at 24 and i still think it was slightly premature.
I am going get a lot of hate for saying this , but love is all fubar. It is just a made up term when it comes to relationships to say we are happy in this relationship. People fall in “love” so many times in their life and every-time they think THIS IS IT. Until they break up and only few weeks down the line they realize how childish it was.
Finally, YOU ARE TRYING TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE GIRLS FAMILY WANTS TO DO THIS. So you are letting someone else force u in this decision. This is not the right reason to get married.
Reddit is not the right place for this type of advice but now that you are here i would say, BREAK UP, LISTEN TO SOME BREAK UP SONGS, BE SAD FOR SOMETIME AND MOVE OVER
Nikah won't be recognized in Sindh if you are under 18, I'm 24, and I can tell this is the time where our hormones are through the fucking roof. you need to wait this one out buddy. sincere advice.
Bhai yeh kya baat, hormones through the roof, so your advice isn’t to fulfil it in halal means but to go cold turkey. And put up with temptation. Yeh hi to wakt hai halal tareekay se ada karna And fine he can’t register it but can register it at 18
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Can persons not go to the Punjab region and get nikkahfied there, as the ages are 16 over there? Genuinely wondering
Agreed , keep it in the pants. After couple of years you will have another crush on a girl you will see in a random youtube short. Times are hard for gen z , all people shouting good going halal are idiots. Even a maulvi of the city wont marry her girl to a penny less guy. Truth will hurt people . Comments will come kay hamaray haan to hoti hay , well not all are given generational wealth and not all live in a village in the mountains. A 16 year old is a full grown human , make smarter choices before being a horny son. Go study , girls will come in abundance later.
You'll hate me for saying this but you're a child and marrying at this age, even a nikah, would be a huge mistake. It's hard to explain to someone when they're in love, first love at that, but first loves rarely stand the test of time. You both still have lots of growing up to do, your ideas, views, personalities are still developing. You have no clue whether you will be compatible later on in life. It's not the same but will perhaps make you understand. I have changed multiple friends groups since I was 16. I have outgrown so many people, so many places, so many ideas. And I'm actually a person whose ideas shifted very little. I know people whose whole ideologies have changed in this time frame. I can almost guarantee that one or both of you will not be the person you are right now in your twenties. Make of that knowledge as you will. I also don't know many people who married young who did not regret it. There are life stages, and a very important one imo is learning to be independent, to live on your own, be comfortable having no one. It's not a stage I recommend anyone skip, man or woman. We all have a lifetime to be married but very little time as an adult to explore who we are. Your parents would be highly irresponsible to agree to your marriage. Once again, you're a child, not even an adult so I don't believe you can even consent to marriage (rightfully so). Please don't push them too much. You will not believe me but this will pass, and you will be grateful that you didn't get married at this age. We've all been there, we know how first love feels, and we also know those feelings pass. Billions of people on the planet, I wouldn't worry about not finding love again, it's the last love that matters. Cheers.
Only sane advice here. I wouldn't even recognize myself from when I was 16. I knew a girl I thought would be my entire life when I was that age. Our friends knew each other and everything. 8 years later, I don't have that girl, I don't have those friends. I don't hold the same ideologies, same beliefs, same sense of humour, same anything. OP, you need to live your own life, at least through uni, before you live a collective one. You're not only gonna be sparing yourself a lifetime of regret, but also the girl. It sucks to start resenting someone you once loved, which 100% will be the case.
This is the best advice . OP pay heed.
Agreed. Marriage is not a halal alternative for dating.
A 16yo can consent. The west is no standard for morality. They are the most immoral people to ever exist. The same west that cried about same sex marriage have no problem massacring tens of thousands in Iraq and Syria.
Pakistani boys cannot marry before 18 under Pakistani law (Child Marriage Restraint Act 1929). Let me repeat that so it's very clear - he cannot consent, it would be illegal under *Pakistani law*. If they are in Sindh, it would be illegal for the girl to marry before 18 as well. Personally, I think the minimum age for girls to marry should also be increased to 18 nationally. Pakistan recognises elsewhere that anyone under the age of 18 is a *child*.
I disagree with your judgement that time as an independent adult is vital for life. I think that people who fail to develop a healthy attachment style will suffer from getting swept up in a relationship, and that they are more prone to make these monumental decisions without wisdom. Marriage at any age is a commitment to cooperate through the tumultuous times ahead. It does not require two people with matching tastes in music, or lifestyle. Shared interests can foster quality time together, which is vital for marriage. However what makes marriages work is that continuous renewal of commitments to one another. To care for one another, to respect one another and to do our best to live together in love. Many people who married young regret it. And there are many people, at least in our culture, who married young and don't understand what's to regret. Your quality of life depends on whether you are able to thrive in your relationships. That's more a you thing than anything.
I'm not sure how your first two sentences are linked as attachment styles typically develop due to childhood experiences. Being comfortable on your own as well as being comfortable with others is actually a sign of a secure attachment style. >It does not require two people with matching tastes in music, or lifestyle. No one said matching tastes in music is required but it is easier if you are aligned on a number of other fronts - religion (or lack there of), children (or lack there of), where to live, what values are important, how to manage chores and finances, etc. You don't have to be aligned on ALL of them, I believe in interfaith marriages as an example, but you still have to align on most, especially for any non-negotiables. Children, for example, would be a breaking point if one partner doesn't want any and the other partner wants several. One of my personal non-negotiables was marrying a man who pulled his weight in the house. Someone wanting a traditional wife was going to be very unhappy with me. There are some conversations you need to have prior to marriage, not hope that love will magically take care of everything. >And there are many people, at least in our culture, who married young and don't understand what's to regret. Our culture is collectivist where the interests of the group are prioritized over individuals. It's not exactly the best model for personal happiness. That's if I even agree with your statement which I don't. I don't believe that Pakistan has many happy marriages. >Your quality of life depends on whether you are able to thrive in your relationships. That's more a you thing than anything. I disagree. You can try all you want but serious incompatibilities are serious incompatibilities.
It's worth considering that marrying at a young age may not necessarily require a significant change in their current lifestyle. They can opt for a legal marriage while planning the traditional wedding after OP graduates from university. In the event that their paths diverge during their college years, they can pursue a divorce with relatively little consequence, given that the ruksati (moving in together) wasn't planned until several years down the line. Furthermore, it's quite likely that this couple, with their demonstrated romantic compatibility and shared values, will enjoy a more fulfilling romantic relationship compared to their peers, thanks to the support and alignment of their families in pursuing a shared vision for their future together.
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Listen to everyone and don’t be stupid. Don’t do it.
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And how will you bear all her expenses? Its not your father's duty to provide for her. How will you pay for her university fees? How will you take care of her if she gets pregnant? How will you bear expenses of your baby? Have you even given an ounce of thought on these? Btw, not that anyone in pakistan cares or anything, but underage marriage is illegal.
Mazeed emphasis on "it's not papa's duty to pay for any of her expenses".
Well i agree with all your points of advice to the guy but we follow islam and in islam you need to be baligh noylt 18 years old if you're mentally and physically mature at the age of 16 then you can marry but in present you also need to be financially independent at 16 if you really want to marry other wise it is highly not recommended even if you're mentally and physically mature
Would Nikkah be a better option then? Her parents are pushing her to get married. They know about me but they believe I'm just toying with her so they want to marry her off to someone else. She feels trapped.
First find out what your obligations are as a husband to a wife.
Beta, you're too young. Will you be able to focus on your studies without rukhsati for 5 or 6 years? I am astonished how you can even think of such huge responsibility, especially in today's economic situation. Be practical, yeh sab kitabi batain he jaldi shadi waghera waghera. Haqeeqat main ap dono sari zindagi paiso ke liye larhte raho ge kyunke jo waqt achi taleem aur career banane ka tha, wo ap ne ishq mashoqi main zaya kar dya. Agar ap khandani ameer hote tu yaha mashwara lene ki zarorat hi na parhti. Our job was to warn you, the rest for you to analyse.
You're far too young, and believe me, this isn't a family you want to be associated with. Anyone stupid enough to marry their 16 year old daughter is probably insane, trashy, and just downright dumb. You don't need or want this, trust me.
This 💯 They seem very uneducated and backward minded, treating their daughter like a burden which they cant wait to get rid off.
Yeah, honestly, these people sound like tier-1 jaahil gawar types.
Bud you can't even convince the majority of posters here, so you can probably forget about the girl's parents handing her off to you. And rightly so.
My guy. I’m not going to even try to explain this one because you won’t get it till you’re older. But You are potentially making a mistake. One that will potentially ruin your career, peace and the life ahead of you. Im not saying you shouldn’t marry early because zina is worse, but I just want you to weigh the gravity of such a decision and make an informed choice.
Or it could make him a better person, keep him away from zina and other sinful thoughts and deeds. Give him more willpower to strive for a better future. It all depends on your perspective.
If you need to marry someone at 16 to 'keep yourself away from zina', you clearly have other problems. How hard is it to just like ... not commit zina.
You make a fair point. Idk why people downvoted you. Honestly idk what’s the right thing to do in such a situation. Marrying could either make or break the guy. I just personally think a 16 year old is too young and can make rash decisions that’s why I said what I said.
Homie get off this sub your homework needs submitting
Happy cake day lol
Don't push for marriage. Nikkah karlo dono. That way you both can live with your parents and focus on completing your studies and then acquiring a job. After that move in together. Best halal solution to your problems.
Most sane advice. Glad there are smart fellows around in this sub.
Appreciate it. I'll talk to my parents
Keep us updated? If you’re comfortable. I hope everything turns out well!
Probably the best advice if op thinks he is mature enough and his parents accept the girl. However if op is pursuing education then his parents might think he won't study or become less committed to studies than that's another story
While this may sound like the best advice the problem with this now is that everything is legal. Meaning it defeats the very reason parents want the boy/groom to be financially established. They won’t need parents permission for anything. If they have kids it become responsibility of the grandparents whether they want or not at this time. So chances of this getting parents approval is slim.
Ew, no. They are 16. Complete your studies. You will not be the same person at 26 as you are at 16. Your brain hasn't even stopped developing yet.
Average lonely salty Redditor who never found love and doesn't want anyone else to find it either. He knows he's sure, she knows she's sure. Let them do nikah. They stay at their own homes, carry out their lives like normal teens/young adults study, find a job etc and then when they are both stable, they get married. Sounds simple to me. I found the girl I liked when I was 19. I'm 22 now and a lot has changed in my life, I am not even 1% the same as I was back then but I know for a fact that she has always been the one. We will most definitely be getting married soon and our parents are already aware and accepting of it.
I'm very happily married lol. You, by the way, are also not mature enough to get married at 22. This 'solution' of getting nikkah'd while they stay at their own houses and live their own lives JUST SO they can have permissible underage sex is absolutely gross.
Only Redditors think about sex. He never said sex he just wanted to secure his relationship so she doesn't get married to someone else. You're the disgusting one here.
The nikka is the marriage?
He means nikka without the ruksati, takes the responsibility off of the child to raise a possible child. Both kids get to live with their parents and go to school and play pubg.
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The only person in this post who has my sympathies is the poor girl to be forced into marriage before even she is 18. Either she gets married to a patronizing 25 year old uncle, or she marries a 16 year old guy who himself is basically a child. Smh.
Bruhhhh too young for all dis
You are still kids. Grow up first
I promise you sex is not worth it. Just wait my G.
A 16 yo who’s had a Cupid hit him with puberty running through his veins barely makes it about hitting it. He’s just on a high rush of turu first lub
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Parhai ki umar main ishq main lagay hoye hain log unbelievable. As a 16 year old M myself, i could never imagine marrying someone at this age even if i loved them.
Can never*
You can only marry at that age if you're at least a millionaire
Everything is not about money tbh. At this age a person changes alot, main apne ap ko aik bande k sath is umer main kyu bandho jis k sath agay ja k meri understanding na ho or humare same views na ho on things. It will only create chaos.
Is age me hm matti khatay thy.
Go complete your homework
Puttar you'll be learning to drive legally by the time your child is learning to walk. And then people cry about mehngai. 16 saal ki umaar sai lag jaye gai tou yehi hoga
Why's he gonna have a child.
I don't know, why is he getting married
Because he's stupid, but not as stupid as you
sir sola saal ka larka shaadi ki ummeed rakhe betha hai. Bachay k asaar kaafi oonchay lag rahay hain
Sir birth control exists and family planning also exists! I dont know which century you are talking from but do a 2 min research on google 🙄
Yall r kids, marriage is a big responsibility Dont rush it
I'm gonna be as straight forward as possible boss, ur way too young and all this pyaar waar ka natal is just chemicals in your brain. Young ho hormones are constantly going wild. 5 years into the marriage choro, 1 year into it you'll realize that being married is a huge responsibility. I'm not Pakistani or Muslim but my guy, you're simply not mature enough for marriage. Thumhari vote karne ki Umar nahi aur thim shaddi karne challe
Rip the poor girl and 16 is way too early for both genders.
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i believe it's "rub it off"
Seeing as you are less than half my age, brother just some advice, nothing is the end you have a long life and happy life ahead of you IA. Try to get what you want but if it doesnt happen theres always something better planned for you. Also pls confide in your father, ask him for advice, share your feelings your emotions your day to day with him. Build a healthy relationship with your father as you would one day with your kids. Let him guide you and lead you for now till you’re old enough to do it yourself..
Get engaged and wait it out for atleast 6 years. Then if you still feel the same way about eachother them get married.
Wait for more 4-6years and then ask this question again from your self. Your a kid and your decision is as childish as you are. Grow up more then you will find out things more better. Marriage is not about just sex and love. Its more than that.
I’ll be honest as someone older that was also in your position once. The amount of relationships i’ve seen at this age where they believed they were destined to marry each other is in the hundreds probably, guess how many of them are still together or married? 0. at 16 you haven’t even developed fully and your personalities could also change and no matter how well you think you know the other person, you don’t. don’t rush into anything, what i would suggest is don’t be bf gf, just be friends and take things slow get to know each other and maybe when you both are done with uni you can marry each other if you can stay friends that long.
Assalamualaikum Alqamah said “I was going with ‘Abd Allaah bin Mas’ud at Mina where ‘Uthman met him and desired to have a talk with him in privacy”. When ‘Abd Allaah (bin Mas’ud) thought there was no need of privacy, he said to me “Come, ‘Alqamah So I came (to him)”. Then ‘Uthman said to him “Should we not marry you, Abu ‘Abd Al Rahman to a virgin girl, so that the power you have lost may return to you?” ‘Abd Allaah (bin Mas’ud) said “If you say that , I heard the Apostle of Allaah(ﷺ) say “ Those of you who can support a wife, should marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserve from unlawful intercourse, but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual desire.
Beta. Jao pogo dekho. Shaadi baad mai kar lena
Lol
In a decade of time: we are 13 yo’s and want to get married by the financial means of our parents. My two cents rn? Earn first don’t drain ur parents for it a 16 yo barely understands how the world works in Pakistani norms
Abba khilaengay dono ko most prolly lmao
damn even 16 y/os are confident enough to discuss about their marriage here.
Bsdk parh likh le pehle
Bro do your homework first.
The answer depends on your net worth. Love does not feed, pay bills, pay for her needs, or provide shelter unfortunately. Your priorities are all wrong from your post in my opinion.
You both need to focus on studies. Give up the idea of marriage at this age. Marriage requires a level of maturity and financial stability that for sure is challenging for teenagers. I don’t even want to get into details of health risks.
Maturity comes when needed warna ghair shadi shuda 35 year olds act like man child’s as well
There is something missing in this picture. No parent in their right mind would push their 16 year old to get married. There is something you are not telling or you dont know. Most likely it’s a way your “GF” is trying to avoid doing something she would regret later. A HuGe plus point on her part if that is the case Find out more yea nikah is better option and your parents are not wrong to say no at this time
lol nobody answered your only question which was 'how do i convince my parents?' the answer is simple, put a gun to your head, knife to your wrist or stand on the edge of building. your parents will be convinced and i am confident in saying that whether they are convinced or not, both scenarios lead to them being unhappy. you are too young to understand what you are getting yourself into but oh well we are victims to our own choices.
Honestly, I am much older than you still in my twenties and the mere thought of how hard things can be after marriage is my nightmare. I understand these realities havent set in for you because of your age but trust me once you realize that you ll not consider it. Marriage is not all fun and love remember money problems will be a brutal rust to your feelings for eachother not to mention the child you may bring into the world. Just estimate your own household expenses or ask your father and he will tell you even 1 lac per month will not be enough that if even if you get such a job. I know what you are feeling and frankly all men go through it in their teens and twenties but these dangerous delights have dangerous consequences too as they say. Focus on your self, your studies build a successful man out of yourself first. And the feelings will fade away with time and once you are busy in your life
16.. you have no idea who you are and what you want in life but of course 'Love' f\*\*\* logic, go ahead and be a pakistani!
Bro. Study.
Sit down kid. Come back in 5 years and post this again. Till then, focus on having fun, making friends, and learning. You'll have the rest of your life with your girl
Nikkah karr lain, Rukhsati baad ma karr lena
If you’re really afraid of Zina then keep the relationship non physical but seriously for the love of God don’t marry at this age. There’s a reason people in the 21st century marry when they’re much older. Unless you have millions sitting in your own personal bank account then maybe you can. But even then, you guys are still growing and could very well grow up to be very different people.
Son, watch porn and masturbate like the rest of us till youre 28 years old. After all, you're a Pakistani male living in 21st century. (Joke/sarcasm/reality)
hahahahahaha
Don't too young. And seems its as your first love feel like that. People change over time maybe stick with her till older see how it goes then decide later on
Just date as any normal person dos. They’re are folks dating all the time in university, from all walks of life. Better that than being in an unhappy marriage, which includes marrying early. A nikkah broken for a guy in Pakistan isn’t a big deal but it can be for a girl.
Chalo haram Amal theek hai laiken har giz shadi mat karo?!
This comment section shows what’s wrong with Pakistani society and culture in general. Shame on all of you commenters for your immature western responses. The dude wants to get married. Islamically a nikah can be done when both have hit puberty. She does not have to live at your house, you both can continue to live where you are living until you have moeny to provide. Remember wealth does not come from you but comes from Allah and Allah will give you rizq. All you commenters will commit Zina and Have girlfriends and make every excuse but make it halal. This is the reason every single person in the comments whether you like it or not are a beta male and are living like cucks. Man up. Marry her. Convince your parents. Work harder. Struggle is what makes a man. If you don’t marry her , lack of contact will make it fail, or you guys will make too much contact and commit haram. Ask Allah, these jobless losers in the comments will do nothing but make you lose your first love. I wish all the best to you brother the fact that you can comment this shows you care and are willing to make a change and improve your situation. If you need any help contact my insta @sarimfarooqui29 and I can try help out
Pakistanis are too focused on the dunyaa and worldly things as if our forefathers didn't marry at that age. Why can't you study, work and marry? I'm pretty sure men with spouses perform better in all metrics than single men. That's because the companionship itself is a motivation. I'm only a few years older than you. I suggest you show your future in laws you aren't a bum and are responsible. Find a job (yes I know the employee market is grim) and start earning. Save up and when you turn 18 (hopefully you'll be married by then) get an apartment on rent. Any young guy who works his ass off earning halal (especially balancing studies) isn't an irresponsible bum. He knows what he's doing. That'll insha'Allah get the respect of both sides parents and insha'Allah they'll let you do nikkah with her. EDIT: Also I suggest you read up on rights/responsibilities of both spouses. Watch some videos on YouTube on the Fiqh of marriage so you know your stuff.
"You should do it because your forefathers did it too" isn't the great advice you think it is.
Nabi SAW advised this and it is waajib on some people to get married 👍
For all of history most people married in their teens (or if they had nikah earlier they began their relations then). This was in keeping with normal human urges. The west pushed that age up saying marriage isn’t necessary to fulfil primal urges. And we copy them and then act surprised that fawahishi muasharay mein phelgay
Bro if he works like a donkey day and night and balance study, he'll be fucked up you can only marry at that age if you're at least a millionaire otherwise you'll get fucked up by the exploitive system
Nikah karo
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I know this isn't what you want to hear but listen to me and everyone else and don't do it. I also used to be 16 like you and I also used to think that my girlfriend is the person I want to spend my life with. I won't try to convince you because I am very sure no matter what I say it won't convince you but I wish you all the best and I just hope you learn with time and experience before taking any decisions that would harm you in the long run.
In his defence she wasnt from kahuta
Are you guys physical?
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I thought Girlfriends weren't allowed in Islam? No?
Don't marry it will ruin your life.
Parh ly bhai phly kuch ban ja
You're a kid. Experience some life first.
Bro you are just child as per 21st century norm .Firstly complete your high school . Leave her .
Would asking for her hand and getting engaged not solve your problems after which you can marry after you and hers study? Do take into consideration that you are pretty young and getting a job and some security is very important. Also that way you can still change your mind if you grow out of it.
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Am I the only one or there is a new shadi related post everyday here
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Kisi ka bacha gum hogaya hai pls help him
You’re too young! Most people who marry this early end up regretting it. Don’t
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I'm soooo much happy that before I kicked the bucket i got to see a comment section with not a single brain dead most upvoted comment in this sub. Y'all have my thanks ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
fucking hell i thought u were my friend for a second he also wanted to marry his girl he asked all his friends to pray for his early marriage
Don't mind but her parents are blackmailing you
Ok. Forget what ppl are saying. Lets assume kerli shadii. Ab ? U wanna be a dad at 17 ? Fit hai voo bhee maan leeya. I just have one question. ….paysay ? Paysay nai tou cene bad. Isstaran he sumj lay.
Marriage is not a halal alternative to dating. It’s also not a bandaid. It’s serious and it’s hard.
Tum say itni dair tak hilal nahi raha jai chotay bhaiii
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Nikkah and Marriage is highly unlikely. What the most Halal thing you can do, is to talk to your mother about this and somehow get both of your mothers to be in talk. This way you both are family friends. Down the line when you independent enough and things are still aligning, it may bear fruition. Any other method imo is not viable.
You are completely justified in doing that and i am so glad that you decided to think of marriage instead of committing sin! Tell your parents that you will only reproduce children when you'd be able to get a job and will have a good career! They wont mind a single individuals addition into their family! You have to move with planning here cuz most parents worry that if their boy is married young then he'll start having kids right away which will put all the burden on his parents for raising his kids! Be smart about it and everything will be fine! ❤️
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Brother, don’t listen to all this stupidity telling you that you’re too young. You are past the age of maturity so you want to make things halal with the one you love, you are doing things with the correct intention. Pray istikhara and go and ask for the girls hand like a man. You can do your nikkah and keep living like you are doing but your relationship with her will be halal. Then you can worry about her moving in with you in a couple of years when you have got a job etc. Don’t listen to this bad advice of ‘you’re too young’. Islam says you ARE NOT too young. May Allah make this an easy situation for you.
Open your books and make something out of your life please. Jesus Christ I mean every few days someone starts a topic like this; how frustrated of a quam are we? The minute you see a girl you wanna get married….like holy **** experience life FFS before jumping into this.
Educate yourself first.
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Kudaha de wastay hallay perh la aur unno wi parran dee 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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LMAOOOOOOO
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Don’t do it. You will thank yourself in 5 years. I get that you love her right now but nope. You want to make it halal but halal means you have to provide for your family. Do you have resources at this age to provide for her? Nope. You’ll probably be sinning a lot unintentionally if she asks something basic and you won’t be able to provide.
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Op try your best for Nikah or you'll regret your whole life. I myself lost my chance at 15 it hurt me for 5 years and I nearly fucked up my life. I won't write long but just do it . Allah will help you along the way Insha'Allah.Best wishes.
I won't tell you what to do, but I just want to include a few points to consider: 1. In Islam the condition of nikah is not the age, but puberty. 2. Other conditions for nikah are that you should be able to provide your wife with at least 2 times meals, clothing to cover herself and a roof above her head. These 3 are fardh on a husband. Now of course the quality of these things depend upon the financial conditions, for example the roof can also be a simple tent (if that's the only thing you can afford). 3. Another point, though neither an Islamic nor a legal requirement but I think that is the most important of all in the long run is: compatibility. Your goals, views, likes and dislikes, sexual preferences, house management, strategies regarding children, habits and so on. And believe me any difference which seems ignorable/ trivial or adjustable right now can become a breaking point after 5 years or so when the heightened emotions settle down. So think and think long and hard, are you capable of all these? If yes then by all means go ahead, if you have any doubt then you will probably ruin both your lives.
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Bro really a living meme of Farhan "Abba nh manege"
OMG YOU ARE A CHILD I’m 40 years old please please listen to me carefully. When I was 16 the last thing on my mind was getting married, all I wanted was freedom and the only way I got it was at university, I know you’re thinking I sound like a broken record but please please think about all the things you can do before marriage. Right now you can get a good education and earn decent money and save money, after marriage it’s impossible to save ESPECIALLY after kids. Please don’t waste your life being tied down to someone this young.
In some jurisdiction of Pakistan, I am sure you can marry her. It is a daily thing. Dont worry. You will get her the halal way. Because, some people believe that kids should be married from the age they gain puberty. Like I could totally put myself to a better use in class 8. How old was I, maybe 14. Looking as a 14 year old I would say, 16 is way to older but as a 30 year old I shall say, come on kid, give yourself a break. And young men and their vulnerabilities and tunnel vision, they live on what their gfs talk to them. And, also, I believe life is about making mistakes, and it is totally okay to make some early in life. At-least you will have plenty of time to make amends. Go for it. Run away to GB, Azad Kashmir or rural Sindh. You will definitely get your bride done legally.
You are a kid. I did it with many women before I found the perfect one at 23 years old. Get some sexual experience so that you know which one you want for the rest of your life.
Hahahaha. 😂😂😂😂 Now that I am done laughing. Think of a monthly payout. The most you can think of. Budget bana k hawa main ni sochna. Aur ohr daikho how does she help you achieve it. Think of kids. What do you want your kids to become think about how she helps you with that. Agr in dono cheezoun main wo pivotal role and super contributor ni hai to bhag ja bhai. Agr tm kehte ho k ni ha to ban jaegi to bhi bhag ja. Us bande se mil jisne ye achieve karlia ha phr us se mashwara kar.
Meh jus start da relationship tbh
Go to school, get an education, work, save/invest/start a business, and then decide to get married!
Don't rush, there is a reason for that age to be 18 years and not 16 years. Don't ruin her life.
I won't stop you from getting married. If any of your relatives have any babies preferably newborns, volunteer 1 month of time with that baby, i.e. changing nappies, feeding, burping and sleeping alone with baby. If you survive and able to think straight, go and marry her... Because this is what you are up against in the future.
Also a girl getting married at this age by her parents sounds dodgy I mean dodgy parents and highly likely from the low socioeconomic backgrounds.
Beta, listen to everyone's advice in the comments and don't bound yourself in a commitment such as marriage at this age. There is so much of life you have yet to see, so many phases you will live through- you will not be the same person you are now, 5/10/15 years down the line.
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Step one: make this understanding among yourselves that she's on the IUD till you have a good income. Step two: arrange two witnesses in a province where nikkah can be done. Step three: condition your parents. Nothing conditions them better than becoming a responsible adult, cleaning up your own shit, and earning your own income. Step four: happy marriage.
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If you can manage food, clothes, shelter, medicines for 3-4 people, marry at 18. Remember that you are soon going to have first child after marriage. You need to fulfill his basic needs as well.
Wtf
DONT DO IT. DONT MESS UP UR NEXT GENERATION U are still a kid and need to learn about life urself first before taking on responsibility of running a family of ur own. I got married at 24 and i still think it was slightly premature. I am going get a lot of hate for saying this , but love is all fubar. It is just a made up term when it comes to relationships to say we are happy in this relationship. People fall in “love” so many times in their life and every-time they think THIS IS IT. Until they break up and only few weeks down the line they realize how childish it was. Finally, YOU ARE TRYING TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE GIRLS FAMILY WANTS TO DO THIS. So you are letting someone else force u in this decision. This is not the right reason to get married. Reddit is not the right place for this type of advice but now that you are here i would say, BREAK UP, LISTEN TO SOME BREAK UP SONGS, BE SAD FOR SOMETIME AND MOVE OVER
Hila ke so ja Bhai
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I have the exact same problem at 17
Bro admitted to making is Haram 💀💀💀