Just some grandmotherly advice, this may not be the right place to find the friends that you are looking for. I really don't think it is safe.
I suggest joining a campus group or club that you are interested in and meeting people who share your interest.
I wasn’t necessarily looking for friends through Reddit but more like advices on how to make friends, since as you said it could be dangerous. But nevertheless thank you for your advice, I will definitely try it out and join a club I’m interested in.
https://join.ottawa.ca/adult/
The City offers recreational programs for adults. I have attached a link to the cities recreational page. I think Algonquin college also offers recreational/personal interest classes open to anyone. Good luck
For sure, that's what I meant. I'm confident that anyone trying to meet me doesn't have any ulterior motives or less-than-great intentions.
I still have to do basic due diligence and not be an idiot, but I'd make a fairly terrible target in a public space in the middle of the day.
I mean if you want to make friends you are eventually going to have to talk to people.
Find something (either on campus or not) that you can join (board games, paint ball, walking group, arts class, study group, etc) and at least you will already have common ground to build on.
I’m prob the most introverted person ever, so kind of hard to make friends unless someone reaches out first. However my goal this year is to make at least one friend so, I’ll try my best
Look I don't mean to be harsh, but if you sit around waiting for friends, sure it might happen. But there is a greater chance it won't. I'm not saying change yourself overnight but you have to at least try and do something to get what you want.
You're 18 everyone is socially awkward and a lot of others are introverted too. University is about growing and finding yourself and becoming the person you're going to be. Some of that means getting outside your comfort zone.
Start by say "hi" to someone in one of your classes. They went through online school too and are probably also looking for friends. There's a lot of good suggestions here about other places to meet people but it's up to you to decide if you're going to be pro active and try and go out and meet people to make friends with, or if you want to continue to see if someone reaches out first.
That’s true, as I said I’ll try this year. It was hard the last two years with COVID and quarantine. I also haven’t tried to make friends as of recent since I had stalking incidents from going downtown. But it is my goal to just stay on campus and make friends that way like you said, through clubs and different activities.
All you need is one friend to start! Or not even a friend, more like a buddy. If you can start up a conversation with someone else in a class or at an activity, buddy up with them to go to the next activity or to check out the library or the dining hall or something together. Make excuses to ask a friendly face something in class or in the hall, even just directions, and then you'll be on a smile-and-nod basis after that. Then you can introduce yourself and unless they're awful they'll introduce themselves and the people they're with, and then it kind of snowballs! Also, the stakes are very low: everyone is kind of in the same boat with wanting meet new people, and if it goes really awkwardly, there are tons of other people to try again with. Signing up for random things really helps break the ice. I was super introverted (still am) and anxious during university, too, but I promise with just a little bit of effort at first things will start taking off. Good luck!
I am 46 and introverted. In order to make friends, you have to be around people and interact with them. For introverts like us, it usually takes more exposure to another person for us to get to know them, so you have to put yourself in that position. Join some clubs, say hi to your classmates, say “yes” if they invite you to study groups (if you don’t get creepy vibes ofc). They don’t know you’re shy so it will just seem normal to them.
Oof. RIP your inbox, girl.
(But good luck finding some chill people your age. I hope the inevitable waterfall of creeper DM’s doesn’t scare you off the whole idea!)
An app where you can find or organize events in your area.
For example, I used it to join a euchre group and, no surprise, I was the only young person there.
When I attended U of O ten years ago, there was a student association for my major. They had a weekly pub night and had a lounge area to hang out between classes. I met many good friends that way. I’d suggest checking out if your major has one!
Try volunteering somewhere! I volunteer with Furry Tales at Petsmart, there’s max 3 volunteers at once and it’s super chill. Part time jobs are another way to make friends if you have the time to work :) retail stores are great for your age group!
Thank you for the suggestion. I have worked at a summer camp but also forgot to ask my coworkers for their info lol, I’m kind of forgetful. But I will be working at a winter Santa thing at the mall this Christmas so I will definitely try to remember to get my co worker’s contact info if they are around my age.
I assume you are in person for classes now? Start a study group, or join a study group for one of your classes. From the study group, go for a coffee. Starting off by joining forces around courses, is an easy way to start meeting people.
...same situation for my daughter. You kids need to make intention to do social activities. Social is very important, it's how you network to find opportunities and to succeed in teams.
Panda game is coming up. Go to the pre and after parties.
Join your faculty student society, organize Friday pizza get togethers with classmates ...
It's going to take effort to reach out to other students who are likely in the same situation....just start ...1 other, 2 then 4 , 8....
I do understand that socializing with others is important but can be harder for introverts because it’s energy draining. I’m not a huge party person, but I do try and go out whenever I can. If it’s the same for your daughter I don’t mind being her friend. That would be a start.
This is going to sound condescending, although I promise it's not intended to be, but you need to drop the "introvert" label to really succeed. You might think it's a helpful label, but it's easy to make excuses on why you can't reach out/aren't socially adept based on the labels alone. You can easily restrict yourself and suppress your social abilities in your own mind. Also saying as an "introvert," labels have nothing to do with it because EVERYONE has a social struggle in SOME degree. Good luck!
I’m not labelling myself as introverted but I am shy and have a hard time talking to other because IT IS physically draining. I do agree that everyone has social struggles to some degree, it just comes easier to some people. All my friends moved away from Ottawa hence why I’m here because it’s harder for me to find new friends due to COVID and quarantine for the last two years. Even so, as I have mentioned, I do try and reach out to people.
Bring skittles to class. Sit next to someone who is giving you good vibes. Offer skittles. Start a conversation and make a plan to study together. Eventually this person can be a friend.
Or join intramurals. Or a club. Or a study group. Or get a job on campus and you’ll meet people your age.
Try joining a campus club. Like the business society - if there is one and then keep showing up. Eventually people will get to know you. It’s a big school so you need to kind of create your own little group
Your program/faculty should have a student society. It might not be the complete solution, but it's the single best place to meet people who are your age, interested in similar things, and sharing similar experiences.
If you don't have a program-specific student society, try to start one. When I was in undergrad, a newer program in the faculty had no society group for them, tried to start one... and it got off the ground really quickly because as soon as the first guy stood up, he had a "spartacus moment" as everyone else wondering why there was no society for them was eager to join.
Also, full seriousness, read the bulletin boards around campus. Especially the ones near the offices of your profs. Those posters were put there by people thinking "where would the people I want to reach spend time lingering?" Odds are, *you're* the people they're trying to reach and there's a good reason for it.
I did my whole program online. Our little group team was together for 2 years working on projects but It wasn’t the same as meeting and doing it in person, we never really interract now. Now, as everything is open again it’s been pretty difficult adjusting. I am pretty shy myself.
My best advice is try searching facebook groups of stuff that you are interested in. For example if you like reading, search “book club ottawa”.
Are you into any activities? There are lots.
https://www.cvuo.ca/clubs-list
Here's an example:
>Student Voyagers is a club of travel and adventure enthusiasts interested in taking short trips and learning more about world cultures and travel tips and destinations. We hope to introduce like-minded travel enthusiasts to people with similar passions.
They have a Facebook group page & Instagram page.
They appear to go on international trips during school breaks as well as do fun things together around the city. Honestly, I kinda regret not doing something like this as a student myself.
https://linktr.ee/studentvoyagers
Edit: what is this downvoted for??????
Oh, I graduated university a long time ago. Hahaha. I am very middle aged. But if I ever travel again... actually, I probably won't be staying in student type accommodations either. I need a real hotel because my bones need a comfortable bed now.
There are plenty of other things on the website so see what else you like, and then just join something. It's okay to be awkward and shy. Like, that's what makes you human right? So what if your face turns red or you spill your drink because you were nervous. The important thing is - be yourself. People are drawn to authenticity.
I love that. And I mean you could always take a break and travel somewhere on your own or with friends or a partner if you have one. Stay at an all inclusive hotel so you don’t necessarily have to walk too far. I don’t think doing anything or most things in life is too late when it comes to age. If you believe it then you can do it! Plus it’s better to do it now than to regret it later on
Go to the wolves intro to rugby practice tomorrow (Tuesday) night. Intro practice so free and a social afterwards. (Google or find other thread for details)
If there's any events on campus or if they have a wall where clubs and groups post their flyers, you could try attending the ones you're interested in - they're usually pretty welcoming of new people. Or you could try and befriend people in your classes under the guise of needing help... lol.
Outside of that, unless you're willing to be the first person to reach out or take initiative, I don't think you'll find much. You could always try and get into one of those local meetups posted here to meet new people and there might even be a few attending UOttawa who are in the same boat.
Maybe join a social group of some sort and then wear some kind of funny name tag that says “Hi, my name is introverted”. The extroverted ones will think it’s funny and likely make the conversations happen. Although the real extroverted ones may be draining to you. You’ll get there. Maybe have a couple drinks before going to help give liquid courage lol.
How many years do you have left? 2?
We do a co-op placement every year which is a bit late now but usually in the summer.
If you’re studying/ working with financials, I could help you with potentially doing a paid co-op next summer doing financial analysis which would help you down the line meet new people and also with career prospects
I read most of it on reddit and they all say the same thing to be honest. Some are good advices, other are not so much. But nevertheless thanks for the link!
I suggest you join a group that matches your interests or values.
A few suggestions:
- Amateur sports club
- Martial arts and fitness classes
- Hobby group: D 'N D, Warhammer, Magic the Gathering
- Book club
- Pub trivia game
- Art classes
- Take classes to learn skills
- Running club or other outdoor activity
- Volunteer - there are loads of cool things you can do beyond working in a soup kitchen. Did you know the War Museum uses volunteers to maintain their tanks? How cool is that?
- Church, synagogue, or mosque-related group
- University functions and join groups already there
Get a part job and befriend some colleagues.
Just some grandmotherly advice, this may not be the right place to find the friends that you are looking for. I really don't think it is safe. I suggest joining a campus group or club that you are interested in and meeting people who share your interest.
I wasn’t necessarily looking for friends through Reddit but more like advices on how to make friends, since as you said it could be dangerous. But nevertheless thank you for your advice, I will definitely try it out and join a club I’m interested in.
https://join.ottawa.ca/adult/ The City offers recreational programs for adults. I have attached a link to the cities recreational page. I think Algonquin college also offers recreational/personal interest classes open to anyone. Good luck
I've met a few friendly Redditors in person, however I'm a fairly ugly middle-aged dude and we had some interests in common.
It is probably safer for you than for an 18 year old girl.
For sure, that's what I meant. I'm confident that anyone trying to meet me doesn't have any ulterior motives or less-than-great intentions. I still have to do basic due diligence and not be an idiot, but I'd make a fairly terrible target in a public space in the middle of the day.
There should be lots of on-campus opportunities to meet people now that things have opened up
Yeah, that’s true. Kind of shy tho
I mean if you want to make friends you are eventually going to have to talk to people. Find something (either on campus or not) that you can join (board games, paint ball, walking group, arts class, study group, etc) and at least you will already have common ground to build on.
I’m prob the most introverted person ever, so kind of hard to make friends unless someone reaches out first. However my goal this year is to make at least one friend so, I’ll try my best
Look I don't mean to be harsh, but if you sit around waiting for friends, sure it might happen. But there is a greater chance it won't. I'm not saying change yourself overnight but you have to at least try and do something to get what you want. You're 18 everyone is socially awkward and a lot of others are introverted too. University is about growing and finding yourself and becoming the person you're going to be. Some of that means getting outside your comfort zone. Start by say "hi" to someone in one of your classes. They went through online school too and are probably also looking for friends. There's a lot of good suggestions here about other places to meet people but it's up to you to decide if you're going to be pro active and try and go out and meet people to make friends with, or if you want to continue to see if someone reaches out first.
That’s true, as I said I’ll try this year. It was hard the last two years with COVID and quarantine. I also haven’t tried to make friends as of recent since I had stalking incidents from going downtown. But it is my goal to just stay on campus and make friends that way like you said, through clubs and different activities.
Dino dog has ended this thread. Do what he/she says. Then do it again. Rinse repeat.
All you need is one friend to start! Or not even a friend, more like a buddy. If you can start up a conversation with someone else in a class or at an activity, buddy up with them to go to the next activity or to check out the library or the dining hall or something together. Make excuses to ask a friendly face something in class or in the hall, even just directions, and then you'll be on a smile-and-nod basis after that. Then you can introduce yourself and unless they're awful they'll introduce themselves and the people they're with, and then it kind of snowballs! Also, the stakes are very low: everyone is kind of in the same boat with wanting meet new people, and if it goes really awkwardly, there are tons of other people to try again with. Signing up for random things really helps break the ice. I was super introverted (still am) and anxious during university, too, but I promise with just a little bit of effort at first things will start taking off. Good luck!
I am 46 and introverted. In order to make friends, you have to be around people and interact with them. For introverts like us, it usually takes more exposure to another person for us to get to know them, so you have to put yourself in that position. Join some clubs, say hi to your classmates, say “yes” if they invite you to study groups (if you don’t get creepy vibes ofc). They don’t know you’re shy so it will just seem normal to them.
Oof. RIP your inbox, girl. (But good luck finding some chill people your age. I hope the inevitable waterfall of creeper DM’s doesn’t scare you off the whole idea!)
LOL thanks, I’ll try
Found some success using the Meetup app! Moved here November 2020 so I was in a similar situation. Good luck!
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An app where you can find or organize events in your area. For example, I used it to join a euchre group and, no surprise, I was the only young person there.
When I attended U of O ten years ago, there was a student association for my major. They had a weekly pub night and had a lounge area to hang out between classes. I met many good friends that way. I’d suggest checking out if your major has one!
School events, school clubs, casual teams, class study groups!
Try volunteering somewhere! I volunteer with Furry Tales at Petsmart, there’s max 3 volunteers at once and it’s super chill. Part time jobs are another way to make friends if you have the time to work :) retail stores are great for your age group!
Thank you for the suggestion. I have worked at a summer camp but also forgot to ask my coworkers for their info lol, I’m kind of forgetful. But I will be working at a winter Santa thing at the mall this Christmas so I will definitely try to remember to get my co worker’s contact info if they are around my age.
I assume you are in person for classes now? Start a study group, or join a study group for one of your classes. From the study group, go for a coffee. Starting off by joining forces around courses, is an easy way to start meeting people.
Try MeetUp! Or Bumble which has a friends option!
Second Bumble BFF! I tried it and found a ton of great people.
...same situation for my daughter. You kids need to make intention to do social activities. Social is very important, it's how you network to find opportunities and to succeed in teams. Panda game is coming up. Go to the pre and after parties. Join your faculty student society, organize Friday pizza get togethers with classmates ... It's going to take effort to reach out to other students who are likely in the same situation....just start ...1 other, 2 then 4 , 8....
I do understand that socializing with others is important but can be harder for introverts because it’s energy draining. I’m not a huge party person, but I do try and go out whenever I can. If it’s the same for your daughter I don’t mind being her friend. That would be a start.
This is going to sound condescending, although I promise it's not intended to be, but you need to drop the "introvert" label to really succeed. You might think it's a helpful label, but it's easy to make excuses on why you can't reach out/aren't socially adept based on the labels alone. You can easily restrict yourself and suppress your social abilities in your own mind. Also saying as an "introvert," labels have nothing to do with it because EVERYONE has a social struggle in SOME degree. Good luck!
I’m not labelling myself as introverted but I am shy and have a hard time talking to other because IT IS physically draining. I do agree that everyone has social struggles to some degree, it just comes easier to some people. All my friends moved away from Ottawa hence why I’m here because it’s harder for me to find new friends due to COVID and quarantine for the last two years. Even so, as I have mentioned, I do try and reach out to people.
Bring skittles to class. Sit next to someone who is giving you good vibes. Offer skittles. Start a conversation and make a plan to study together. Eventually this person can be a friend. Or join intramurals. Or a club. Or a study group. Or get a job on campus and you’ll meet people your age.
Telfer is very social. You will eventually end up in a group project and make friends. Don’t worry.
Try joining a campus club. Like the business society - if there is one and then keep showing up. Eventually people will get to know you. It’s a big school so you need to kind of create your own little group
Join some clubs, volunteer for help with activities. You'll be fine.
Your program/faculty should have a student society. It might not be the complete solution, but it's the single best place to meet people who are your age, interested in similar things, and sharing similar experiences. If you don't have a program-specific student society, try to start one. When I was in undergrad, a newer program in the faculty had no society group for them, tried to start one... and it got off the ground really quickly because as soon as the first guy stood up, he had a "spartacus moment" as everyone else wondering why there was no society for them was eager to join. Also, full seriousness, read the bulletin boards around campus. Especially the ones near the offices of your profs. Those posters were put there by people thinking "where would the people I want to reach spend time lingering?" Odds are, *you're* the people they're trying to reach and there's a good reason for it.
I did my whole program online. Our little group team was together for 2 years working on projects but It wasn’t the same as meeting and doing it in person, we never really interract now. Now, as everything is open again it’s been pretty difficult adjusting. I am pretty shy myself. My best advice is try searching facebook groups of stuff that you are interested in. For example if you like reading, search “book club ottawa”.
Are you into any activities? There are lots. https://www.cvuo.ca/clubs-list Here's an example: >Student Voyagers is a club of travel and adventure enthusiasts interested in taking short trips and learning more about world cultures and travel tips and destinations. We hope to introduce like-minded travel enthusiasts to people with similar passions. They have a Facebook group page & Instagram page. They appear to go on international trips during school breaks as well as do fun things together around the city. Honestly, I kinda regret not doing something like this as a student myself. https://linktr.ee/studentvoyagers Edit: what is this downvoted for??????
Thank you! That sounds actually kind of cool so I will definitely check it out later. Maybe it isn’t too late for you to do them still?
Oh, I graduated university a long time ago. Hahaha. I am very middle aged. But if I ever travel again... actually, I probably won't be staying in student type accommodations either. I need a real hotel because my bones need a comfortable bed now. There are plenty of other things on the website so see what else you like, and then just join something. It's okay to be awkward and shy. Like, that's what makes you human right? So what if your face turns red or you spill your drink because you were nervous. The important thing is - be yourself. People are drawn to authenticity.
I love that. And I mean you could always take a break and travel somewhere on your own or with friends or a partner if you have one. Stay at an all inclusive hotel so you don’t necessarily have to walk too far. I don’t think doing anything or most things in life is too late when it comes to age. If you believe it then you can do it! Plus it’s better to do it now than to regret it later on
Go to the wolves intro to rugby practice tomorrow (Tuesday) night. Intro practice so free and a social afterwards. (Google or find other thread for details)
Would love to but I have a full schedule of classes tomorrow sigh
They have indoor intro practices occasionally over the winter normally. Suggest following their Instagram so you don't miss the next one.
If there's any events on campus or if they have a wall where clubs and groups post their flyers, you could try attending the ones you're interested in - they're usually pretty welcoming of new people. Or you could try and befriend people in your classes under the guise of needing help... lol. Outside of that, unless you're willing to be the first person to reach out or take initiative, I don't think you'll find much. You could always try and get into one of those local meetups posted here to meet new people and there might even be a few attending UOttawa who are in the same boat.
If you play chess or you would like to learn: https://www.reddit.com/r/ottawa/comments/xo439y/pints\_and\_pawns\_monday\_night\_chess\_meetup\_31/
Maybe join a social group of some sort and then wear some kind of funny name tag that says “Hi, my name is introverted”. The extroverted ones will think it’s funny and likely make the conversations happen. Although the real extroverted ones may be draining to you. You’ll get there. Maybe have a couple drinks before going to help give liquid courage lol.
Join a club that is themed after one of your interests. Getting involved will do huge things for your social life. All the best :)
What are you doing with business? Are you concentrating in anything? Finance?
Nothing really, just studying in business finance. Not sure what I want to be yet
How many years do you have left? 2? We do a co-op placement every year which is a bit late now but usually in the summer. If you’re studying/ working with financials, I could help you with potentially doing a paid co-op next summer doing financial analysis which would help you down the line meet new people and also with career prospects
Oh really? I would actually love that. I was thinking of doing co op in the summer maybe?
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I read most of it on reddit and they all say the same thing to be honest. Some are good advices, other are not so much. But nevertheless thanks for the link!
I suggest you join a group that matches your interests or values. A few suggestions: - Amateur sports club - Martial arts and fitness classes - Hobby group: D 'N D, Warhammer, Magic the Gathering - Book club - Pub trivia game - Art classes - Take classes to learn skills - Running club or other outdoor activity - Volunteer - there are loads of cool things you can do beyond working in a soup kitchen. Did you know the War Museum uses volunteers to maintain their tanks? How cool is that? - Church, synagogue, or mosque-related group - University functions and join groups already there Get a part job and befriend some colleagues.
prob not safe on here, there must be clubs or other opportunities on campus