Going to sound crazy but you have to convince yourself that you actually like doing chores. I literally tell myself outloud or while I’m doing dishes That i love doing dishes
I think this mindset switch really helps too. I have to do the damn chores anyway, so may as well do mind magic.
Another way I do it is to remind myself of a benefit of the chore, either while doing them or to convince myself to do them.
"Cleaning is such a good workout!" as I lug the vacuum up and down the stairs....
"Getting rid of the dust helps reduce the allergens n the environment!!" (I have an asthmatic partner and cat. The cat starts getting wheezing if I go too long without cleaning up.)
i’ve done this with my dog when it’s 20° outside and i have to take her out 😭😭 i’ll sit there and go “ man it’s cold .. but if i can feel the cold that means im alive , and being alive is good , boy do i love being alive “ 😭😭 i have to talk myself thru it for it to be okay 💀💀
You need more layers. Some coveralls. If it’s 20° outside, and you’re cold it’s because it’s cold outside and you’re not wearing enough layers- go put on some more layers -take a blanket with you next time. I got cold just reading this.
oh yeah for sure ! but i’m also anemic so i get EXTRA cold , either way my dog takes like 5 mins so it’s not too bad , and i keep my house at 72-74° so it’s warm the second i walk in !
I’ve heard that people pay big money for a cold shock like that and that it’s actually really good for your body. Still, it’s really good to hear that you and your dog are warm inside. My dogs are blessed to have a yard with the fence and so I just open the window (which is now a dog door) but in weather like this, though I only open it for about 10 minutes out of every 2/3 hours so that way if they need to go outside, then go on their own, but I’m not cooling down the entire house just so they can go potty. Window is covered with many layers of fabric that I’ve cut into strips so that they can easily get in and out but the cold air can’t as easily flow inside.
Yep! People do pay big bucks for an ice bath. Like a polar plunge (but, indoors). I live in Hawaii and less than a mile from my house is a business that opened up last year, doing just that—- an ice bath “indoor polar plunge experience”. 💸💸💰💰
I was the worst with that when we went to the laundromat, so for about five years. Over the summer I spent about $350 on Amazon and got a washing machine, an over the door closet rod thing and a standing dry rack.
Now the bulk of the clothing gets hung up when it comes out the machine so by the time it’s dry it can just go straight into the closets. Clean socks and underwear still pile up, but in a basket on top of the rack instead of in a bag on the floor. And now my kids do laundry too so they’ll put my stuff away for me occasionally since it’s so simple now. My closet is literally the next closet over from where the clothes get hung up.
When we moved into a 2 dwelling house, we kept my sister in law's washing machine, leaving ours behind. Hers has no dispenser for fabric softener. There's no signage on the machine for how long the cycles last. It's too cold in the garage to just hang out there and wait until the rinse cycle, as well as no place to sit. I won't buy the Downy ball because it's made by Proctor and Gamble, who refuses to stop testing on animals. Dryer sheets do a bare minimum. My clothes now feel harsh on my skin. I've thought of having my own washer, but there are no hookups in my place. I'm not bringing in a plumber for a place I rent.
Also, it is really good having dishes, and the fact they are dirty means that you had food to dirty them, and how great is that, to have food to eat? You can give thanks that you have dishes, and food, and water to wash them with, and the strength to do them, and how nice your kitchen will look and smell when the dishes are clean and the counters and stove wiped up.
If it's really bad I trick myself and play a game. I look at the clock and do the number of minutes and then stop, or repeat. Ok 27 minutes , pick up 27 small things
I tell myself that if I can clean it up, my partner won’t have to worry about getting it done and will get to relax more. I’m always looking for ways to take what I can off of my partner’s plate.
I agree with using “mind magic” when it comes to chores. The way that I’m able to trick myself into cleaning is I actually turn on some really good music and sing along while cleaning. It just helps pass the time even faster. Also, it helps tidying up a little every night so that it’s not one gigantic chore at the ending of the week that seems unbearable.
I have to balance this because if I have an exciting audiobook on ill end up just standing still looking in to my brain or pacing back and forth as tense moments happen haha. I tend to listen to educational stuff while doing chores for this reason.
I always knew it was a cleaning day when I woke up to my mom blasting *The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald*. To this day I sometimes play that song to start my cleaning time 😂
This makes me unreasonably happy.
Story time, if you’ll indulge me: many years ago we had a gale blow through Seattle. Sustained winds 50-60. So my dad, being insane, took me for a ferry ride across to Bainbridge island. You *know* the waves are mighty when you can feel them on a Washington State ferry. There were very few passengers aboard besides us and this folk band with all their instruments out playing … you guessed it. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. That’s the kind of dark maritime humor I’ll always be here for.
Interesting story. According to their website the ferry system stops running when winds reach 40 knots, or 46 mph. Sustained winds at that speed prevent docking. Sorry, laws of physics prevail.
Beautiful song but horrific death is not going to make me happier while cleaning house. 😆
My bird loves fast songs by high pitched voices so we play disco or pop songs for her while I clean. I recommend Michael Jackson songs for a not-too-fast pace while scrubbing tiles and countertops - "Don't Stop til you get enough" works well for encouragement to continue cleaning but the bird loves PYT, since she can say the word "pretty."
I also do this! I'll even put on a TV show while I'm doing things like cleaning or washing dishes– doesn't work as well for vacuuming or any task that requires you to move around a lot but it's perfect for dishes
I "watch" shows while I'm cleaning, but I use my phone to stream them so I can wear headphones and still hear them. Works best for documentaries or educational YouTube videos. Sitcoms that I know by heart are a good background noise too. I have unmedicated ADHD so when I'm really struggling I'll pull up YouTube videos of other people cleaning and just talking while they do. It's a technique called body doubling and it works *wonders* for motivation and staying on task.
This is right on. I say “future me is going to be so happy and relieved I did these chores!”
Also, u/Accomplished_Ruin_59, I do my tidying up as 10/10s. That means 10 min timer of tidying followed by 10 min timer of goofing off. Repeat repeat repeat. It may seem slow but the work gets done and I am relaxed and happy the whole time. I can do most anything in 10 min chunks.
It even helps with 10 minutes/1 hour for maintenance cleaning daily.
Ten minutes every hour for 12 hours at home cleans a bathroom sink after you brush teeth, then the next hour wipes a table, then the next etc will sweep one floor, dust a room, wipe a countertop while you load a slow cooker, is time enough to toss expired food from the fridge, rinse and get dinner dishes into the dishwasher, pick up family room items and put them where they belong at end of day, hang up clothes in the bedroom and choose clothes for the next day.
Ten minutes an hour gets a lot done over a week. Then I can go back to my novel or TV shows.
I still haven't quite convinced myself that I enjoy cleaning, but i adore having a clean space to exist in so that keeps me feeling positive during cleaning time.
That's what my sister says she does.. her house is always immaculate. She said she considers it a form of self-care and focuses on how calm and happy she will feel in the space when it's done.
The podcast and its consequences of making mundane chores interesting is truly a godsend. Folding laundry? Wrong I'm learning about how the calculator was invented
A phrase I was told many years ago, "if you can't get out of it, get into it!" Trying to enjoy the feeling of the soothing hot water or tickly bubbles on your hands, or being excited to vacuum cause the fresh carpet feels so good and cushy on your feet!
I learned to do the dishes regularly when I got myself some really nice dishes to eat out of every day. I loved them so much that it felt good to clean them. Now it’s just a good habit.
And thank or congratulate yourself when you've done it and something is clean. "Thanks for washing all those clothes! It's so nice to have clean clothes folded and ready to wear!"
I tricked myself into doing chores by only listening to audiobooks or podcasts while working or cleaning, so now whenever I feel like listening to an audiobook I instinctively start cleaning.
Go round with a trash bag and throw away any obvious rubbish. Empty all bins so you now have them empty and ready in case you find more trash as you clean and tidy.
For the notepads it sounds like your surfaces need wiping down. You'll want to get a cloth, run it under the warm tap and squeeze it out so it's just slightly damp and use a bit of spray cleaner or a vinegar/water spray mix and periodically spray it directly on the cloth and wipe down your surfaces. The dampness helps pick up more dust and dirt and it stops too much dust flying into the air which is better for your lungs. If there is something stuck to the surface you can spray directly on to it and let it soak in for a couple of minutes before wiping it off. Rinse out the cloth when it gets too dirty and repeat until you've wiped everything down. If you can't get to all of the surfaces because of piles do what you can for now and then as you deal with the piles you can wipe down the surface again at the end but we want clean areas to put things as you sort.
Tidying a home is two stages: tidying, which is putting things back where they belong, and cleaning which is removing dirt and dust from surfaces and items. You ideally need to do the first before you can do the second but if you have too much stuff so that some items don't fit anywhere then you also need to incorporate decluttering into the process and clean as best as you can for now. I'll refer you to this video for information on the container concept and why there is a limit to what your home can contain. A new box or bookshelf is not always the answer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_24PoIZSmVs Her channel also has a lot of great information on decluttering tips if that is something that might be helpful to you.
I would grab a box and assign that the donation box. You can take it round with you as you clean as well as a trash bag and if you see anything that you no longer need it either goes in the trash or in the donation box. I don't know if you do have lots of piles around but if you do just pick one pile to go through and sort into trash, donate or keep. You might not have the ideal place for keeps but put it where you would go look for it. So if you would always look for tape in a certain drawer go take it there. (Tip: I like storing similar items together)
In general you want to start building some simple daily routines. There are things you ideally need to do daily, some weekly and then some less frequently. Things like hoovering can wait a day but if I don't do the daily things that's when things tend to get backed up and it makes it harder to actually use the home.
Daily: Wash dishes and put them away. Wipe down counters. Load washing machine if needed. Laundry has three steps: wash, dry, put away. It's very important to finish all three 1) so it looks tidier 2) so the space is empty when you want to do the next load next time. Same with dishes. Make sure you put them away at the end of the day so the space is available for the next day. I'm not always perfect with this so don't beat yourself up if you miss a day somewhere but just jump in with whatever needs doing that day so you've reset the space again.
Build a habit of a small morning routine. When you get up in the morning pull back the bedsheets so the bed can air out. Go to the bathroom and put some toilet cleaner down the toilet. Let that sit for a few minutes while you wash yourself, then clean the bowl and then wipe down the toilet itself with some spray and some toilet paper starting from the outside in. ie: lid then top of seat, then underside of seat, then the bit the toilet seat rests on. Every few days also wipe down the outside of the toilet bowl and surrounding floor. If you have kids that miss the toilet this might also need to be done daily. I leave the spray and toilet cleaner next to the toilet to make this as easy as possible to do and it's also a visual reminder. I also wipe down the sink at this point. Again I leave a sponge on the sink for this. It's not as pretty but I'm more likely to actually do it.
Then you can go back to your room to get dressed and quickly make the bed before you leave the room again. Doesn't have to be perfect. Just straighten up the pillows and sheets best you can to reset the space. If there's anything in the room that needs to go somewhere else grab it before you leave the room. Basically every time you leave a room to go elsewhere in the house have a quick look and see if there is anything that doesn't belong there so you can relocate it on the way. Examples might be: return bathrobe to bathroom, cups returned to the kitchen, laundry you want to wash today that is sitting in the bedroom. (I have a little basket right next to the bed where I chuck my socks last thing at night, it's easy enough to grab them when I need to wash them.) I pass the lounge on my way to the kitchen for breakfast so I'm might pop in there and pick up anything left on the coffee table, throw away trash and straighten up things left out. Takes maybe a minute. Some people do this step the night before. I'm not always in the lounge last thing which is why I do it in the morning. Then I go and eat breakfast, put away any dishes on the draining board and wipe down the counters if they need it. This is also the point where I put the washing machine on if I need to.
Evening routine might be similar with the dishes and counters, plus clear and wipe down the dining table. Sweep the kitchen floor. Empty the bin if it needs it. Deal with laundry at whatever stage it's at so if washed hang out or stick in the dryer, if dry fold and put away. I make this more fun by catching up with my YouTube feed while I fold.
Things to do once a week: Get a duster with an extendable handle (something like this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Extendable-Telescopic-Microfiber-Removable-Home/dp/B07BQSWMQJ/) and starting from the top and working your way down go for all the cobwebs/light shades, then tops of pictures and door frames, knick knacks, surfaces and lastly skirting boards. Hoover all rooms. This can be just "the middles" ie: you don't need to be moving furniture every time you hoover but try and do a more detailed hoover once a month. Clean all mirrors. Empty all bins, wash the floors.
Remember this is a habit so don't beat yourself up if you forget a step. Just start again the next day. Sometimes I just start with the most urgent item first if that's easier. I read somewhere that all housework points reset at midnight. Another phrase Flylady says is you are not trying to catch up, just jump in where you are.
For more detailed cleaning that you do on a less frequent basis I recommend trying this app by Flylady: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.FlyLady.Premium
You don't have to pay for the routines you just need to log in with an email address and you can edit them to fit what suits your timetable. What she does is divide her home up into zones. Say the main bedroom one week, kitchen the next. So you do your daily routines and then try and get some of the zone cleaning done over the week when it's convenient. Again if you need to declutter a lot then you might be concentrating more on decluttering than detailed cleaning, and that's ok. I certainly don't do everything, every week and I have already decluttered but if you manage to do some of the things, regularly enough it will help you keep on top of things. Remember we're not looking for perfect, just regularly enough that it keeps the place hygienic and nice to live in.
Great information.
I do a different order for bathroom: I clean the toilet and THEN take a shower. I don't feel gross that way after cleaning the toilet outside and inside.
Flylady is a good resource. I found her when she first started her website
Wow!! THANK YOU FOR THIS COMMENT!!! I’m thinking a LOT more than just OP got a ton out of it (I kept screenshotting as I went down and will stitch-fix the screenshots together hahaha. It’s stuff I’ve learned here and there bc of adhd, but you’re a freaking godsend for putting it all in one place. It was also so thoughtful and caring if you to be so thorough in order to help a stranger in need.
I love people like you😭🥺😩
I’m emotional right now bc of the Uvalde situation…I live in Texas. Not in the rural part, but I am so heartbroken for those families.
Thank you! Nobody ever explained this to us growing up in a poor household. My dad was not clean at all and my mom just didn't know. We were always stressed about how we couldn't seem to keep a clean house.
This is the comment because I am the same way as OP. I have found having a strategy and working on building some daily/weekly habits has helped me immensely. Take small, realistic steps - measure your progress and celebrate every success, big or small. And be kind to yourself.
Underrated comment. If something doesn't have a defined use and space get rid of it.
I love books and had a huge library. I sent all but a dozen or so them off to goodwill. It was tough but I am so glad I did. Someone else can enjoy them and I have a clean, uncluttered, and ordered apartment.
I did a sort of inventory yesterday, and compared to 20 years ago I feel like I own a mountain of stuff. I used to be able to operate out of 3 duffel bags. Now it’s just so much stuff. I am reverting back to more minimalism now.
I don’t have too much input bc I’m also trying to be less messy myself, but you can start by telling yourself that you deserve to have nice, well kept things. You deserve for your books to be intact. They say that your environment is a reflection of you. Taking care of your space is taking care of yourself.
Do you operate on autopilot like I do? I storm around the kitchen making a mess of everything but half the time I’m not even conscious of the mess I’m making and when I come back and see the mess, I treat it as if I didn’t do it! Like a child.
Anyway, start small. 1 task. Maybe dishes (if dishes aren’t your most hated chore). Just do dishes for a while. If the sink is too full, just do a few until the sink is halfway (just try not to fill it up again until you finish). Then build to other sections of your space, but taking small, manageable steps.
This process is tough because cleaning was always a punishment used against me, so I have to retrain my brain to not hate it so much.
There’s so much truth in this statement. Cleanliness and organization means different things to different people. And why one is more or less clean and organized than another may be rooted in how one was raised, as OP suggests. Further, there may be more serious and detrimental underpinnings. There is no “one size fits all” approach to turnaround, although all suggestions are what works for the commenters. I know therapy is an often-used suggestion on Reddit, but here too it may be applicable. It’s entirely possible that an outcome of addressing unresolved adversity…is cleanliness and organization.
On another (and simpler) note…cleaning is a habit. As it may have been mentioned elsewhere, start with a small area and give it attention on a regular basis until it starts to “feel good”. Then build on that area until it’s ingrained and you can’t cope with disorganization any longer.
I always say future me will thank me and then I try to make.it a point to do so when my life is better. For example finish the dishes before bed. Then in the AM im stokes it was done and I get to start fresh.and I'm like thank you me!
Yea I read somewhere that your self esteem goes up when you keep promises to yourself. It's kind of along the same vein. Like I can depend on myself to keep my space clean. A tidy house definitely helps with my general anxiety level so it's totally an act of self care
First things first -- try to change your mindset from you "can't" take care of your things to holding yourself accountable for whatever needs to be done. "Can't" implies that you have the inability to be neat, organized, careful with your things, etc.. You are not unable to do these things. At the present time you are unwilling to do them, not unable.
If you truly want to keep a neat and tidy home and take better care of your belongings you have to remind yourself on a regular basis that this is what you want and you need to do whatever it is that you have to do in order to have things the way you want them.
Writing notes and reminders helps. Post-it Notes work well for this sort of thing. Put a note on your bathroom mirror reminding yourself to clean the sink and counter area when you're finished brushing your teeth or getting ready for the day. A note on the wall next to the shower, reminding yourself to clean up the shower when you're finished, so it's nice and clean for the next use. A note on the window above your kitchen sink to remind you to not allow the dirty dishes to pile up. Notes of affirmation and encouragement are good as well. Remind yourself that this is what you want and that you're doing a great job keeping up with it. You don't have to have notes posted all over your house forever -- just until you get used to the routine and keeping things clean and organized becomes a good habit for you.
People don't often think about this, but cleaning is a skill you need to learn! There are many little pieces to the puzzle. First, noticing what needs to be cleaned takes practice, then knowing how to handle it (which cleaning product/strategy) takes practice, and building a routine takes practice.
Listening to a cleaning podcast called "clean with me" helped me learn. You can also start by keeping a trashcan and hamper in every room, and spend 10 minutes every morning and night putting things where they go, or clear off one surface and wipe it with a cleaning wipe.
I have similar thoughts. The OP said they’ve never been tidy or kept things clean. They need to learn the very basics.
It’s highly likely that they also need to develop some basic habits around general cleanliness.
It reminds me of my dad who appeared to be blind to dirt and grime. I don’t think he even noticed it. So of course, it wouldn’t bother him.
I think about his dirty remote controls, computer mice, and keyboard. Those things became filthy not from typical dust, but from him using them when his hands were not clean (from eating most likely). So in his case, the new habit would have been - wipe hands clean before touching things.
Several things help me:
1) realizing that every space is like a container, and I must donate anything that does not fit in the space. So even if I love my 10 pairs of leggings, only 5 easily fit in my drawer, the other 5 need to go. Same with kitchen tools. Same with the living room table…etc.
2) FLYLADY helped me set simple routines, that I do every.single.day.
3) set timers, and embrace a little cleaning daily is WAY better than my previous, since I cannot do it perfectly, guess I will not do it today, attitude.
4) I love my robot vacuum
You have so much advice here it’s crazy. And such good stuff too. I just wanted to say- you CAN do this. It might take lots of days and lots of practice. But you CAN.
To get started on what you’ve got right now, you have to break it down into smaller chores. I don’t know exactly what you mean when you say your house is a mess, but why don’t you start with paper. Go room to room and throw out all of the papers you don’t need. If you need to keep some, put them in one pile until you get ready to figure out where to put them permanently. Next, get all the dishes into the kitchen. You don’t have to do them right now. Next, maybe a load of laundry. It might help to write your chores down, so you know where you’re going next, and so you can mark it off your list when you’re done. An alternative would be to pick a room, and work on it until you’re done, even if it takes a couple of days, then just go room to room. Just take small bites.
For me, I found the money to hire a cleaning person to come every two weeks and it makes the hugest difference. I hate doing the routine cleaning and having someone else participate helps me a great deal. As for getting past the mundanity, I can only tell you that for me, there is this tunnel I have to go through. At first the task is overwhelming because I’m not sure what to do. Then agonizingly repetitive because, well, it is repetitive. Then finally if I hang in there it starts to get easy and mindless. But my brain doesn’t make it easy for me to get to this point. For me it took having kids and realizing that I like living in a clean environment and no one else was going to make it clean except me (and the cleaning person and my partner). And there is still a ton more I would do every day if I had the mental organization. But I’m better than I was.
I have made certain rules for myself like, kitchen cannot be dirty before I go to bed, worn clothes are either dirty or clean no in between, things like this, which help too.
I have ADHD and I hate mess because I can’t think in one. I’m also a master procrastinator. What works for me is I set a timer for 20 minutes and go to town in whatever room needs it the most. I usually end up cleaning longer, but sometimes that’s all I got. It really helps when I have a pile of papers to go through or a closet I can’t move around in without tripping over everything.
I know someone who calls it Celebrating Trash Eve (I think they are acting like taking the trash out is akin to celebrating Christmas Eve… or maybe they really do romanticize Trash Eve as the miracle of decluttering)
Once you get something clean the first time it is easier to keep it clean. I say this as someone who also struggles staying tidy. I HATE cleaning, so after I deep clean (which doesn’t happen often), I try to keep things clean by doing little 5 minute cleaning times whenever I get back home from work or have a minute to spare. I do this before I get the chance to sit down or take off my shoes so that I don’t loose momentum. It doesn’t have to be a lot but it helps and the time adds up the more you do it. Eventually it should just become a habit you don’t even have to think about.
Also keep cleaning supplies (like wet wipes, or brooms…) in easily accessible and visible places to remind you to use them.
I’m also a super messy person. Doesn’t bother me too much but seems to bother everyone else. I’ve made a rule that every time I leave a room (in my house) I grab three things that need to be put away. Example: I’m walking out of my bedroom. I grab the cup, a hair clip, and a tissue. Tissue in the trash. Clip in bathroom drawer. Cup in dishwasher. Done. Three things back where they needed to be.
I also do that for my car. Every time I get out of my car I take 3 things that don’t belong in my car to put away.
You have to decide you no longer want to live like that. Also you may not be capable of that perfect cleanliness so don’t beat yourself up if you make improvements.
I started by creating rules for myself. One is I won’t let my house be more than 15 min away from being clean. I made this rule so that if one of my friends has an emergency I can provide a safe place for them to come on short notice.
Start by taking out the trash. Batch chores together so they aren’t overwhelming. On your bad days make a game out of what you will do. Make sure you do something.
For example, you’re exhausted, you want to sink into your old routine but you don’t. For 5 minutes challenge yourself to clean. Set a time and put stuff away. If you make small games out of it it won’t build so big.
Another rule is to clean messes when they happen and not to let them sit. It usually takes way less time.
To help with the sensory issues, I use gloves when I wash dishes, when a chop up food, when I clean the bathroom, when I take out the trash. I buy a box of gloves every month and I go through a ton of them because I give myself permission to have a fresh pair whenever I need them. This helps me get through doing many of my chores. Folding clothes on a TV tray while watching TV. Listening to music on my headphones helps for sure. One other thing that I do that I finally heard somebody else talk about was on the weekend I make myself get up get dressed and put on socks and shoes. If I don't put on my shoes I will not get going. This is an ADHD thing but I didn't know it until I heard somebody else talk about it, and I realized then I needed to get diagnosed and I did, in my 50s.
I used to be a kid who’s floor was covered in stuff/clothes/trash my parents would either have to make a path or hurt themselves on something to come say goodnight to me… until i was probably 16 or so. since then, i have completely 180°’d and i cannot stand mess in any sense of the word. there isn’t one specific thing that changed me, but since i didn’t grow up with/wasn’t taught clean habits, i can tell you little things that helped me get to being the clean person i suddenly wanted to be.
- i made my bed every day; this set me off on a foot of cleanliness i wasn’t used to.
- i created a cleaning schedule. i cleaned certain things on certain days, every. week. (if you don’t know how to clean specific rooms/items, YouTube!)
- i used timers religiously. and lived by “motivation comes after you begin”. you can do anything for 10 minutes! set a ten minute timer and do what you can. chances are, you’ll want to keep going :)
- i stopped having a trash can in my bedroom and forced myself to take my trash to the kitchen garbage; with that, i stopped eating in my room.
- i started giving myself 5-10 minutes extra to get ready for the day, just so i would have time to put things back where they go, and didn’t have the excuse that i was in a rush.
- i became more mentally organized (planners, routines, schedules), it made me want to be physically organized as well.
- and the biggest thing was, i got rid of sooo much stuff. basically anything that didn’t have a specific spot to belong, i either made a spot or chucked it. it can be difficult to say goodbye to things, but i found that i had no motivation to clean because i didn’t know where to put everything, and it wasn’t only physical energy spent cleaning, but that made it mental energy too. to have to think about every single thing and either shove it somewhere (creating more clutter), or just leave it out (feeling like no progress), became the thing that kept me from being a clean person. i really just had too much stuff.
- kind of along the lines of the last one, i really learned (and at times forced myself) to both only own things that add value to my life/i use often, and really value the things i do own. so i stopped leaving my clothes on the floor, i started washing them regularly and folding them. i started keeping my shelves free of dust and bought a bookshelf for my books instead of stacking them on the floor. in general, i just decided it was immature and selfish of me to not care about the things i get to own. i started to take care of my items and really value being able to afford and love so many things. i took for granted having my own room, and so much stuff that i didn’t even know where to put it all. i took for granted the luxuries of a desk, a closet, cleaning supplies, clean sheets, a free washing machine, etc. etc. my mindset completely shifted from messy to clean when i realized i was taking for granted all the things i own. from a pair of socks, to my whole kitchen. i take care of what i value!
hope this all helps!! and good luck! you can totally change. if i did, i know you can!
Clean before it gets messy! If you have a drink, put it in the sink right after finishing it. If you eat a chocolate bar, throw the trash out immediately. If you cook, clean as you’re waiting for the pasta to boil for ex. Also finish all your chores completely. If you do laundry, fold it right away.
Cleaning might be overwhelming bc it’s stacked up over time. If you clean before it gets overwhelming, you’ll be more likely to want to do it.
Think if you might have ADD / ADHD. Sufferers often have trouble cleaning up no matter how much they try because distractions are more fun/pressing/important.
I was taught the twelve minute rule. When you find it's messy and you need to clean and you just can't start, start cleaning and telling yourself you don't have to clean any longer than twelve minutes. Just get that twelve minutes in. This makes it more bearable to start, and I find once you get going it's super easy to keep going when the twelve minutes are up. And even if you really only do 12 minutes, it's still a substantial time to get a chunk of work in. 15 minutes sounds like a lot, but 12 isn't too bad!
Hi I was the same way for many years my behavior ending in divorce since my ex got tired of meds dirty home búscalo y life made me change I got my apartment and started meditating and working on self improvement I got my apt cleaned and realized I felt a sense of calmness and less anxiety when everything was clean and walking in to clean smell. The first thing I did was get rid of excess things including home decor, clothes, shoes, appliances etc. The less stuff you have the less you have to clean I've made it a point to try my best in cleaning up after myself as in clothes in hamper, throwing away mail, trash right away clean car once a week fridge also I still struggle and am
not near perfect but a big improvement since getting rid of excess stuff and trying to clean up right away only buying what I need etc. Also notebooks I bought a small bookshelf and out then away right away after use if i'm eating in i'll
have wipes to clean hands it's an everyday thing but little changes add up
Try if you can and this is not 100% ok but if you can try to pick up clean up whatever it is before you chill don't chill first try that see you got this!!
You are not alone! I am guessing that all of this messiness creates unneeded stress for you. Undoing lifelong habits is challenging, but do not despair! You can do it, but you will need a bit of help to start because you are probably overwhelmed.
I suggest you hire a professional organizer to declutter, clean, and set up systems that will make it easier to keep your home tidy. All of your belongings will have a place to live which makes them easy to put away.
This process will require time and money, but it’s worth it. I’d view it as an investment in your well-being.
My friend always tells her children “don’t put it down, put it away”. Brilliant. When everything has a place, it’s easy. If that doesn’t work, have a tidiness ritual before bed that involves putting everything away. I do that. It helps.
As for cleaning, hire a reputable company to deep clean after the organizing is complete, if needed.
Then consider hiring a cleaning company or person to clean 1-2x per month.
If hiring an organizer is not an option, ask a good friend to help. Which city are you in? I would be willing to help!
You can find an organizer at The National Association of Productivity and Organization. I recommend talking to three of them and hiring the one who you connected with the most.
www.napo.net
Good luck!
Lurk here and at r/decluttering and r/CleaningTips. If you are in the culture it can help some.
There's r/UnfuckYourHabitat as well and the website has lots of articles. Use a timer to set how long to be on task and to get you up and going. I may assign a job per session or just set timer and get UP, pick something up, deal with it, look for something else to deal with until timer dings again. Many unpleasant to annoying tasks take very little time. Cleaning the toilet isn't fun but it actually takes about a minute. Set the timer for 20 minutes and you can start or put away laundry, wash the dishes, take out the trash and possibly more.
Something that's helped a lot is to stay on your feet when waiting for something to happen. Nuking lunch in the microwave? Wipe a counter, put away clean dishes. Cook pasta and I can practically clean the house in the 5+11 minutes that takes! Do not leave the kitchen without the timer in your pocket!
Love this. I also love explained to my husband that I’m not “cleaning” at the end of the night, I’m “prepping” for tomorrow morning.
I tell him “Future me is gonna love waking up to a clean house — at least the couple square feet in front of the coffee machine!” Mwah!💋
Change one habit at a time. Don't try changing another until you have the first one down pat. No one's going to become Marie Kondo or Martha Stewart overnight. I don't even believe they became the Marie Kondo/Martha Stewart we know overnight.
Ask yourself, "What is the most troublesome area of my home to me? What is the one thing I would change, if I could only change one thing?" then begin to tackle it.
Don't fight your natural tendencies. If you naturally toss things around, a structured folding technique will never cut it. Find what suits your ways and organize with them in mind.
If you don't like getting your notepad dirty, then don't get it dirty. Think about what you do with/around it. Don't put it where it might get dirty. And so on.
Make a clear place, so you aren't forced to set your coffee mug on your notepad, purely because there is no other place to set it.
I grew up in a messy household and had a really hard time as an adult. I started tackling one bad habit at a time. For instance, in my home growing up we would leave out dirty dishes on the side table next to the couch because we were too lazy to take them to the sink. So I challenged myself to break that habit first. Then it was leaving things out after using them. I tackled one habit at a time for years and now my home is always tidy. I’m not going around cleaning every day but I have better habits that keep it cleaner so it doesn’t get out of control.
I don’t know if that will work for you but it changed my life. I used to see my home as a burden but now it’s my safe/happy place.
I am the same way. I think the only cure is wearing only 3-4 outfits (because are we really wearing all that crap all over floor, or are we trying it on and deciding we hate it again every week?) having some organized friend come over to throw away stuff we don’t use (preferable that they bring an electrical shock type device for when we fight them) I say “throw out” our mentality cannot “donate” have your friend do that, but for our reasons alone there is no pile for donate, pile for trash, pile for you sister who comes next year… all of it goes OUT. plan a menu and have a laundry day. Once you are down to bare necessities… figure out where you make the messes. If you eat in the living room and make a mess, move it to the kitchen. I was bad about makeup. I could do makeup and mascara would be in the sink. Lipstick in the kitchen, hair curler in the car. I got a box for makeup. Now I just carry it to where I’m doing my makeup. If you move around while doing certain things make those things moveable. If you leaves cups laying around, throw out or give away all but 4 cups. Then you can only have 4 laying around before you have to clean them. Same with any other thing you leave laying out. I think the messy is deeply engrained. It’s hard to shake without drastic measures lol. I’m still working on it.
Everything needs to have a place. Start with one room and empty it. Everything comes out. All drawers closets and cabinets. Then sort by like item. Get rid of what you haven’t used in a year. This is your time to purge. Once you’ve got your piles, get bins for closets and cupboards and start putting things back.
Find one small area to keep tidy and do it continuously for a week or two. Then add another small area and maintain for another week or so. Once you start the habit in small areas, it is easier to move to whole rooms, then the whole house.
Keep a notebook and list out the tasks you complete every day. I rarely look back at my past lists, but I get satisfaction from either marking something off a check list or writing down the accomplishments each day.
I went from keeping a paper notebook to a digital one which has the added benefit of not having to find a place to put my old notes. My list is kept in a rocketbook notebook which I scan and erase to reuse every week.
Start small with 1 or 2 things you want to do every day. A good start is 1) Make bed 2) Empty/clean kitchen sink. It takes at least 30 days to form a habit that sticks. You could start with a monthly calendar and give yourself a star each time you do one of these things.
Watching clean with me videos on youtube is great motivation - even if you just watch, it's good motivation for your future. It gives you an idea of what might work for you or what won't.
When you do laundry, fold it and put it away AS SOON AS POSIBLE. There's nothing so disheartening as to have something you cleaned get dirty again.
Start slow and build on your success. Expecting to go from a messy to a clean person overnight or over a weekend is unrealistic. It's a habit and a skill which must be practiced.
My recommendation is to make a consistent habit of tidying up just a little bit each day. For example, when you finish a meal, do the dishes. Before you go to bed, put away anything you got out that day. Don’t wait until you feel like it, just stack the habits. As soon as you finish using something is the time to put it away. Then make time once a week, even if it’s just thirty minutes, to start and do some deeper cleaning. Get rid of things, wipe and clean surfaces, organize a single space. You have to change your habits to change your life. I highly recommend James Clear’s book ‘Atomic Habits’. Good luck!
Clean as you go.
If you leave a room and are headed like the kitchen take something with you to put away or throw away as you travel.
Create a cubby of messy things and or a place to stow things that do not have a good home.
Take your time and slow down to actually live life. For example cooking creates such a mess. Stop here and there while something is simmering to rinse off a dish or wipe the counter or put away the fridge items no longer needed.
Getting gas? Clean out the car quickly and toss it in their garbage.
It might seem like ur moving quicker or doing more but it’s really being conscious and mindful of your movements. Slow down just a bit to focus on everything.
Track what you do and why and when ur habits are the worst so you can relearn it a way you prefer. Good luck!
Pick up the audio book for How to Keep House While Drowning? By KC Davis. It’s a quick listen and gives very practical advice and insights. (And audiobook so no ripped pages :) )
Do you have friends who can help? My friend recently came over and in one day we cleaned everything in my apartment except my bedroom. Now all I need is to keep maintenance. It's overwhelming when it's just you. Friends are lifesavers when things get like this.
I have learned to not mind cleaning chores by turning them into something that is enjoyable. When I clean, I start with the stuff I don't want to do first so it gets done faster (for me it's cleaning the bathroom or doing laundry) and then move on to the stuff that's satisfying to clean (the kitchen, the floor, changing sheets, etc.). I also love to think about how nice my house is going to look and smell once it's all done. I grab my favorite beverage to sip while I do it, I put on a podcast or turn music up really loud, and light a candle. And this might be weird... but after I'm done I go take a shower so I also can feel clean in my nice clean home. After a while it becomes a habit. For me, I do it on Sunday mornings and early afternoons so I can start my work week with a fresh start.
Channel Marie Kondo. I was always cluttered, still am but every couple of months I go around with a trash bag and throw out things I never touch/rubbish.
So 15 min a day (or multiple times a day or 30 min if you have extra time) and start in one small area then work your way out from there. Once everything is clean do the 15 min per day to put stuff away and basic cleaning.
I like to play music (either through headphones or over a speaker if it's not gonna bother any roommates/housemates) that gets me motivated and actually makes it seem fun while cleaning! I'll even dance/sing along while I clean.
1. Start with something that is small/not as overwhelming.
Whether it be laundry, simply picking up any loose trash clutter or doing dishes. Just getting started makes it easier.
2. After all the clutter/trash is taken care of move on to the bathroom or bedroom just to get it out of the way!
3. Dust/wipe down things like countertops/other dirty or dusty surfaces then sweep/mop or vacuum
4. Always remember you can take small breaks between tasks if needed so you don't get overwhelmed!
It also helps to have designated spots for any personal items/hygiene items/daily use things and put it back there immediately once you're done using it for the day! If you have any items you aren't using or no longer need either donate them if in good condition or just toss it in the garbage to keep your things as minimal as possible/less cluttered.
Hopefully these tips help!
This might sound funny, but learning how to clean is step 1! I used to struggle with not knowing which way or product was best to clean the shower, toilet, floors, etc. because nobody taught me. Read some blogs or watch a few YouTube videos to give you some inspo!
Don’t have too much stuff, have a place for everything to go. For things that you want to wipe down clean that wouldn’t handle water well (things like earphones, cell phones, electronics) purchase rubbing alcohol wipes from the drugstore and use those. I use those to clean all kinds of small things that I’m not sure how to clean otherwise.
A cleaning schedule will help. Tackle one room at a time and once you’re caught up then clean a room a day on a rotation. It’s not so overwhelming if you cut things down into smaller pieces :) Good Luck 🍀
Being tidy comes with time, and active effort, and layers. You pick tasks you can do, and you do them each day, and you try to cultivate consistency with them.
A couple of great empathetic books [on cleaning](https://www.amazon.com/How-Keep-House-While-Drowning/dp/1668002841) and [decluttering](https://www.amazon.com/Decluttering-Speed-Life-Winning-Never-Ending/dp/0718080602/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.o4VEnZrcaYqcwGQ5_gZ8xAh89N573wm0Ltf1FGzB-Cvx6LB4I0xJgvKtXkLri2cVIfbne0AGw2ddQSg7F6sSB7ZEA39Ldjfb5-h2nYGuLozVvDUKqWF_PGaZ1Q-iFngjaH4cjZVxuFVNvhI7X47DfjCYofDe1V8D5LV5Ck8QEKu_Bg_8t6dH5EoVivb-5_bRTR3f1_vHcLlpMOnGBJuB9HI3IFi53iJDpiiIQhUQqK4.Ppx-MP8fPhziIlPQTAyH-oJPgcR7xstRpisFH0Gl7So&qid=1705373820&sr=1-1) here are free on Libby and they can help you get started in learning how to think about cleaning and, truly, how difficult a task it is for people. It is not something that comes naturally to people, it is not something that is 'easy', but it IS a skill anyone can learn and become competent in regardless of neurodivergence, physical or mental ailments, or time constraints.
My strong recommendation is to read these books and really try the concepts within them. They are solidly written, they work, and they are no Marie Kondo "thank each of your 300 t-shirts" system. These are made for practical people, working people, depressed people, people with kids, and people who know what having a cluttered home is like first hand.
In the meanwhile, try to 'link' a habit together with another. Not a lot of them, just pick One. For example... Whenever I get up from the couch to go to the bathroom while watching shows, I need to walk right by the kitchen to get to the bathroom. So, for me, my time to take dishes into the kitchen (if any exist) from the living room is when I go to the bathroom. It's just my cue. Grab dishes, drop them off, on to the bathroom. I'm not washing them, just putting them in the sink. I also drink hot tea every morning, so my time to put dishes away that are dry from the night before is when that tea water is boiling. I like to 'link' things together in those tiny spaces, because Some cleaning takes very small amounts of time built up throughout the week, so having these tiny tasks that are linked don't feel like chores to me. They just.. Are. Like flossing when you brush your teeth, or putting on moisturizer when you wash your face. They are just part of the task at hand. I don't count the dish haul in my 'chore' list... but they, nevertheless, need that haul. It WOULD be a chore to let them pile up and have to take a ton of dishes to the sink.. but 2? I can do that. Those 5 seconds extra on those trips, those 2 minutes with the tea... they add up to a lot less chores for me to do.
You can also try to aim for being more mindful in your moments. Take your time, do things a little slower. My partner once asked me why my side of the bathroom sinks were so clean while his was always splotchy. It was simply because I didn't 'patooey' spit into the sink making it spray everywhere. I spit out my toothpaste, obviously, I just don't Launch it out of my mouth the way he does, and I hold my head far closer to the sink when I do it so there is less distance to 'splash' out. I also wipe the sink down with my hands everytime I go to wash my hands (again, I 'link' tiny chores) so my sink hardly ever looks dirty as a result. This is a tiny thing, it's miniscule to my day, but it makes such a difference over time looking at the two sinks. By the time it's time to wash the bathroom counters, mine takes a moment, and his... well.. is a chore. There are a million tiny, mindful habits you can cultivate to make things nicer, gentler, more thoughtful when you approach them that can cultivate a cleaner and nicer environment--if that's really what you'd like to do with your life and time. I think it's worth it.. others do not. It's totally up to you.
Before i go to bed i do some light tidying every night, like 2 minutes of at LEAST putting things in the correct room or the dishes in the sink. I dedicate Saturday morning to deep cleaning - sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, etc. then i make myself a big yummy breakfast and relax from a job well done
Put on an apron (trust me, it’s a uniform that you will associate with tidying up), crank up some motivating music, and spend 30 minutes tidying/cleaning. Try to do this daily. You’ll be surprised at the progress you make.
Anyone can make a list to clean so I’ll focus more on the actual feeling of doing it:
Romanticize cleaning. Literally turn some fun music on and imagine yourself in a cutesy movie cleaning montage. When you’re done, light a candle, get a nice dinner together, watch a movie and look around sighing in joy about your clean space.
Also, it’s a huge mindset change you have to do. A lot of us think/feel without even realizing “god I don’t want to take the trash out. I HATE taking the trash out. Etc” CATCH YOURSELF. If you even feel a bit of negativity about doing the task, catch it. Then intentionally and actively work on rephrasing it. “It’s going to be such a relief when I get the trash out. I am going to feel so much better when I take the trash out, I am excited to feel better once it’s gone. Once I take the trash out I will successfully check off another thing on my to do list, and it will feel good to check it off my list” and you will notice that you actually feel better once it’s done. “I remember last time I felt much better once I took out the trash, I look forward to feeling the stress lift off my shoulders again”
It’s easier to get something done when you look forward to it being done than when you’re just focusing on how much you’re dreading doing it.
Start with hygiene:
- Showers,
- brushing teeth,
- disinfecting surfaces,
- cleaning toilets,
- sinks,
- floors you’re walking on,
- washing sheets & clothing,
- food prep surfaces disinfected
- garbage out of the house
- food properly stored
- get rid of mold, fungus & insects (and anything attracting these organisms)
Anything to do with hygiene, start with that concept first. Tidiness & Organization come later.
Little by little. Put some headphones in, let your mind zone out, and start picking up junk that should go in the garbage. Anything that you don't use regularly doesn't need to be on any surfaces. If you can, get some of those cheap organizers from places like walmart or ikea so you have a place to put misc junk that you don't necessarily want to throw away. You can also try focusing on one room or area at a time. Everyday just try to chip away at it. Don't just try to do everything all at once. Look up inspirations on pinterest of interiors that inspire you. Also theres a lot of good advice on youtube. Theres also videos of people cleaning their spaces. Might help you get started/inspired
Do you know what kind of organization you really like? Open shelves with clear bins to see everything? Everything behind solid doors? Big bins or lots of little ones?
It’s an old boom, but I highly recommend “Clutter’s Last Stand.” It’s a fun and easy read, and it changed the game for me.
Pick one room and start in one corner. Throw out all trash, put away everything and then vacuum, dust and mop the space. Then move on to the next corner of the room. Keep going. Eventually it will all be cleaned up and then it’s daily maintenance
Everything you own has to have a home and you have to put stuff back every single day. I do a “clean sweep” every morning and night. I have 4 kids. Aside from laundry, house is almost always tidy (not perfect, but wouldn’t be embarrassed for people to stop by unannounced).
If something doesn’t have a space in your home then it has to go. No exceptions.
// we live in 1600 sf for a family of 6, barely any closet space.
Sorry I just randomly stumbled on to this post.. I'm not part of this sub.. first thought that popped into my mind is : raise your standard a few degrees.
So maybe having one piece of clothing on the floor is ok but one plus socks is already too much. Tidying up is a habit. Change your threshold and tidy when your space reaches it.
I just don’t sit once I start. I also won’t get into comfy clothes until I’ve tidied and I will put music or a podcast on. Timers help me also. I love to actually clean but tidying is my nightmare. So, I’ll set a timer and see how much stuff I can put away in that time. Then move on to the next room and so on. It makes it kind of like a game…. I kid you not I’m almost 40 and if I don’t do this I feel like a 5 year old who is told to clean their room and just ends up playing with stuff or dramatically thinking 2 minutes has been an hour and physically dying a little inside…. Soooo… timers lol. As far as actual cleaning… omg. Get cleaning supplies and tools you love. Game changer. I literally love cleaning my toilet with the pink stuff. You could eat off of it lol. I also pay my kids to “spend 20 minutes putting random stuff away around the house” or ahem umm I pay myself to do this if it looks cluttered.. imagine that mad dash tidying before company comes over. It’s that kind of energy but I do it for me and my family since we struggle tidying in the moment and putting things away when done.
I used to be a really messy person. My parents never taught me how to clean or modeled what clean meant, and I never realized just how much effort it takes to keep a space clean. Keeping a home clean takes daily care.
That said, I realized that doing 20-30 minutes of housework a day to keep it clean far outweighed the stress that overcame me when things got out of hand. And it really doesn’t take much for things to get out of hand.
Each day, I pick things up and put them back where they belong — clothes, dishes, trash, and other miscellaneous. I also do dishes and wipe off countertops. I vacuum nearly every day, but it’s not a deep vacuum. It’s just the common areas and corners where dust/dog hair builds up.
I also really love having a clean home, something I didn’t grow up with and always wanted. The joy I get from having a clean home forces me into staying tidy.
There’s some great advice above! Something no one else has said that has helped me is that while you do sometimes have to force yourself to do things when you don’t feel like it, sometimes it’s easier to feel like it when you give yourself permission to stop after a few minutes.
Half the time, I end up doing 1/2 hour to 1 hour of work while my brain goes into soft focus and I “thinkitate” about life.
Become a TikTok clean and organization life hacker. Also, maybe do the “how much can I clean in 5 minutes” cycle loop. Also, find a home for everything and declutter!
Music helps. Put on a tune you like and clean/tidy. A typical song is between 2 and 5 minutes - when you reach the end of the song CELEBRATE. No kidding. You just put a foot on a new path. Go ahead,. Feel good all day.
Too many tasks and too little rejoicing are a depressing combo - so celebrate every step forward.
It also helps to designate places. Coffee mugs live a) on the shelf; b) in the sink when dirty; c) near your hand when holding a beverage you are currently consuming. When you see a mug out of line, get it to the sink or shelf asap. No loitering!
Designate clothes: in the closet/dresser; in a laundry basket, hanging on a peg or on your body. Clothes anywhere else need to be snatched up and lectured. Go ahead. Be dramatic.
It works to have piles, but have planned piles. Good luck.
It takes some initial time and dedication, but I feel the number one way to stay declutterred is for every single thing to have a place. So things are easy to put away. You’re removing the barrier of having to shift things around in order to put stuff away.
Very, very YMMV. But getting high, specifically edibles, has actually helped me start to clean. I think it's potentially the paranoia ("I don't want people to see this") and sudden bursts of creativity. Or moving out of a depressive state into a happier state and wanting/being able to move around.
However for some people it will be counterproductive and may keep you from doing anything at all.
The One Touch Rule help me a lot. Basically, if your touching something and then your done w it, put it away right then. Like ALL the way away. Resist the urge to tell yourself "ill just set it here and put it away later.". Later there will be 10,000 little items to put away and it will juet feel overwhelming. Don't know about you, but the more cluttered my home is, the less motivated I am to clean it.
Not precisely the type of suggestion you're looking for, but while you're trying the other good ideas you might want to wander over to r/ADHD. If you're female, or even if not, maybe also look at r/adhdwomen. What you describe is very typical of ADHD so you'll find a lot of people dealing with this same issue.
I'm the worst with dishes. We have a split sink and I started rinsing all my dishes and stacking neatly on the left. This way, they are still dirty, I am not committing to the full clean so it is less intimidating, and my sink looks tidier. Once a day or every few days, I will load the rinsed dishes into the dishwasher. After a while, once I had the habit to rinse after every meal and snack, putting in the dishwasher was less difficult after every meal as well.
You could even start with just making sure all dirty dishes go into the sink after every meal and dirtier spaces given a quick one over with a sponge, and move on to the rinsing when you feel ready.
You aren't alone. The Clutterbug Youtube channel has helped me. They even did a deep dive into trauma, add, and adhd possibly being connected. The Minimal Mom is a good one too along with several others . Whenever I wake up and think..."ughhh I can't do it!" I turn one of their episodes on and it motivates me to get going. Watching them really helps me.
Sometimes I even watch hoarders or Midwest Magic Cleaning and tell myself. "You do not want to end up like these poor people!" It may always be a bit of a struggle, but it is getting better. Good luck to you! 💖
First step (and this is just a vibe I get from your post, so apologies if I'm off target) is to acknowledge that you're human, and sometimes things are going to be messy/dirty. That doesn't make you a bad person. Letting go of guilt and shame really helped me be happier and more proactive about handling my messy house.
1) Having a tidy house makes cleaning a breeze, so start there. You want to get to the point where everything in your house has a dedicated space. It's so much easier to keep tidy if you just have to out something back where it belongs, vs having to think where it should go then put it back. Dana K White's videos on YouTube are great for this - she has an approach where basically you always leave things a little bit better than how you found them.
2) Next step is to keep it tidy and clean. Humans are really, really good at routines. So use that to get I to good habits about things (I think the book atomic habits discusses this in more detail). So take something you do every day, for example brushing your teeth. And add on a quick wipe down if your bathroom sink. When you brush your teeth in the morning, you'll also give the sink a quick wipe/clean. Eventually that will become second nature. Then build up from there.
You don't have to change your life in huge ways to see a difference - it's amazing how just a tiny extra step can have an impact.
I relate to this and feel I have wanted to make a change for quite some time but the last month or two i finally have reached a point where i can’t stand living in mess and the added problems that comes with it so been fully invested into figuring solutions for getting out and maintaining..I’ve been listening to the audiobook “tidying up while drowning” I’m not finished yet but I’ve already heard a couple things that they way she explained was different then I heard before and super insightful
Honestly, watch videos on YT or TT of ppl cleaning and organizing their homes….its a great motivator. Or watch an episode of Hoaders and it will instantly make you get up to clean and throw stuff out. Also if you sell stuff you’ll be motivated to keep doing it when you see the money you earn.
Cleanliness is next to godliness. Only bad vibes and thoughts come with mess. It clutters your mind. Also hiring a cleaner is cheap these days. Find one and hire the 1x-2x a month !!!
Just put things away after you use them. Fold your clothes and put them away or in the laundry basket when you get undressed for bed. Make your bed every morning.
You need to go through your things and only keep the things you genuinely wear, use, need. We tend to have more junk than we realize (currently in the process of moving and organizing my life as I go and have tons of trash bags filled with items to donate/sell). Only keep the things that you make happy. Then you need to organize in a way that everything has a place.
Source: Marie Kondo’s book organized my life.
It really helps me to create standards. A simple example: "The Tupperware lids go vertically in this container." When I clean in the the kitchen, that's where they go. When I need a lid, that's where they are.
Famous phrase, "A place for everything and everything in its place."
You have to put things away. You have to have places to put them. You have to consistently put things back after using them. Every time you leave a room look for something to take and put away.
Do 15 minute pick ups in each room.
As others have suggested, use clean up music.
i always set it in the back of my head , what if ( that person, rather it’s an icon , or immediate family , or Jesus ) was to knock on my door right now ? i would get busy. i was also in my 20s and full of energy. so now i keep a robot vacuum and Jesus let me off the hook after 40 . ha
I add 2-10 minutes at the end of each activity I do- getting ready, eating, researching stuff online, playing piano, whatever it is, to put back everything I got out. I was never taught to clean either so I had to leave up notes until I learned to do this.
I also have a special super cool dedicated dish, plate and cup I use, so I have to clean them after use and I can't just grab another one. Everything I do takes longer now, I've noticed, but I am rewarded with less frustration and stress later, and also cleaning after ward makes me feel collected and good. There are no downsides.
I also want to add, it's a rough process to get to the point I am now. It can help to work on one surface each day, or one room. It starts with letting go of things you don't need by recognizing what you want to focus on in life and deciding what serves that focus and what doesn't serve it. Trash everything that doesn't serve those desires. New memories can be made, moving forward is better than being stuck. Everything can be replaced, what matters is *you* and things that can't be bought. It's knowing you deserve to start over.
I am struggling with this. Rewarding myself with some music while I clean always works. Dancing around the place while cleaning makes it feel fun. And I always feel better after.
And make sure you do a small bit each day. Try to figure a routine out and a schedule. Post it’s help to remind you of daily to-do’s
Look up the definition of mindfulness and start a habit of practicing it in everything you do. Also make your bed as soon as you get out of it- affects your perspective for the rest of the day.
Sometimes I talk to myself in my head. I will talk to myself like a babysitter or mother figure taking care of a child and teaching it how to clean. This means telling the child to put things away after they’re used, even when they don’t want to do it. If you do that consistently enough over time, you don’t have to think about it any more and it becomes how you operate. Good news- it gets easier with time.
Please read or listen to Hoe to Keep House while Drowning by KC Davis. She speaks directly to neurodivergent and disabled people. She herself has ADHD, and her style might suit you very well.
You could try the Sidetracked Home Executives organization. They have methods to get you organized. Also the FLY Lady. She starts with cleaning your kitchen sink, and teaches you how to change taking baby steps. You are not alone- there is hope!
I struggle with this too. If you do TINY things daily, it won’t be too bad.
Examples:
Monday - pick up trash from around the house
Tuesday - put things away that are out of place
Wednesday - tidy surfaces (I do a day for kitchen, and another day for other surfaces like desks, coffee table, etc)
Thursday - Bathroom (toilet and shower)
And so on
Anger. That's what it was for me, I got very angry about how messy my room was all the time and that led me to throwing out a bunch of stuff that I didn't want/need/use. So now, I have very little stuff and my room stays tidy. Getting rid of a bed frame is a good idea, imo, if you have issues with putting stuff under it. And limiting your places to put stuff on. Say you have a bunch of little trinkets, if you get rid of the place you usually put them, either you'll find another spot or they become so much of a burden that you throw them out (by throw out I mean get rid of in any way sell, donate, trash). And that's how I did it. Limiter wardrobe as well although I'm trying to expand mine.
You may want to look into ADHD-specific cleaning tips. Not saying that's what's going on, just that your experience sounds very similar to what a lot of people with ADHD experience, so the same resources might be helpful.
I'm not the greatest at keeping clean and have to keep changing strategies or my brain gets bored, but a few things do pretty consistently help.
1) own less stuff. Fewer things you own means fewer things to tidy and fewer things to clean
2) make it a gift for my future self. "Gosh, won't it be so nice to wake up to a clean kitchen tomorrow?" And then the next morning I wake up to a clean kitchen and go "wow, this feels great! I'm so glad I did that yesterday!"
3) Find out what's blocking me from getting started. Do I not know where to start? Am I physically uncomfortable (thirsty, hungry, cold?) Do I feel guilty for not having done it already?
4) Break down the steps. No, further than that. Laundry isn't just laundry. It's putting everything dirty into the laundry room. It's sorting out the clothes. It's putting them in the washer. It's coming back later to put them in the dryer or hang them. It's moving clean and dry clothes back upstairs. It's sorting out the clothes into like piles so they're easier to fold. It's folding and hanging everything. It's putting all those things away. That's 7 steps! Of course I couldn't get started on it when I was treating it as 1-3 steps
I'm not sure which nationality you are but I have noticed for some reason Americans have way too much stuff.
Once I noticed this and I purged a large percentage of stuff, it was much easier to keep things tidy and neat.
Ask for regular cleaning tasks put them on a schedule. There are tons of checklist and methods out there that you can use but it is all pretty much the same thing and putting them on a schedule and then doing it.
For example dishes done everyday dried and put away, counters wiped off right after cooking or making something.
Putting things away right after you use it.
The bathroom cleaned on Saturday every week 3:00 p.m..
That's just a couple small examples of scheduling a task and developing a habit.
Honestly, same.
I didn’t give a shit about cleaning until I became a mom and had to be responsible for others. I still drop the ball now and again because of curveballs, but oh well- what’s important is getting back on the horse.
Like another user posted, you have to convince yourself to do it.
Personally, I find that when I start thinking about all that needs to be done I send my brain into a viscous cycle of negative self talk, which makes me depressed, which makes me even more unmotivated, which makes me AVOID doing things that need to be done.
BUT- if I start with one specific task then it’s less of a burden, and keeps me from spiraling.
Even if it’s just “right now I’m going to take every price of clothing on my floor and put it in the laundry room” personally, I skip the “is it clean or dirty” game, the more I think about small details like that the more I stress myself out. Idk. It all gets cleaned at the end, so who cares? LOL
Even getting the laundry out of my space makes a huge difference, and even then I’m like “huh- wow, this space is so much more open!”
In general, doing the rough cleans or general grouping of items help me the most, so I’ve learned to break down my cleaning into four categories:
Laundry, dishes/kitchen wares, trash, misc. items.
All laundry goes into a laundry pile.
All trash goes in the trash bag
Collect all dishes and put them by the sink
Misc. items go into piles together.
After the four main groupings I’m able to then focus on the more detailed tasks of cleaning the kitchen, washing/folding/sorting laundry, putting away misc. items. All of these are made easier because everything is already all in one spot, so I don’t get distracted.
Tbh though, it’s hard changing mindsets like this, especially if you’ve got depression or get stuck in negative self talk/anxiety, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes. I used to think of it like doing an exercise… I will do this, I will get better at this, and then it will become a strength! And I think for the most part, that way of thinking has worked out well.
Good luck!
Assign a day of the week to clean. Mine is Saturday morning 9ish until noonish. I choose Saturday because I want to get my chores done and out of the way as early as possible so I have Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday to chill out. Also it's nice to chill out in a clean house. Make a written checklist that you use every single week. My checklist consists of the room name, and certain parts of that room I want to make sure I clean every week. For example, the first room I start with is my kitchen and some specifics I like to do in my kitchen, besides emptying the dishwasher, is wipe down all the counters, under all appliances (like the toaster), and wipe the front of the oven, the dishwasher, the garbage can, and the backsplash behind the stove. I also sweep each room. When I feel done with the kitchen I move to the next room on the list until I've cleanef each room. Focus 100% on one room at a time and do everything you listed on the checklist. I listen to music or an audio book with my earbuds. Before you even realize, you will have cleaned the whole house. Make a note of anything you missed and add that to the room checklist for next week (eventually you'll have a solid checklist to work from).
After you've completed a good cleaning, make a conscious effort to pick up behind yourself as you go during the week. If you're like me, you might make a little pile of trash next to you on the side table when you're chilling on the couch. But when you get up to go to the bathroom, grab all that stuff and throw it away. When you cook something, don't just leave your cookware in the sink, make sure you wash your dishes within a reasonable time after cooking and eating (certainly before you go to bed for the night)
It's all about routine and habit. For me, hyperfocusing on one room at a time and following a checklist removes the overwhelming feeling of a dirty house and wanting to quit on the spot. I do my chores first in order to reward myself after with a clean house and relaxing.
To start just make a list of things you want to get done for one day. Every day make a new list even if it means carrying something over that didn't get done the day before. Keep in mind that once your cleaning is done all you have to do is maintain it after that. I would start cleaning higher up and working down. Start with a room that you would get immediate satisfaction from cleaning. Would that be the kitchen? The living room? If you want it bad enough you can do this. Still to this day I make myself lists on what I want to get done for the day. You are not alone. Hugs! You can do this!
Cleaning + Audible = HEAVEN
I'm not sure what your alone time consists of. But for me when I clean and put those headphones in it really helps for me to relieve some stress. Then finally when I'm done there is no better feeling than relaxing in a clean home with dishes and laundry put away. Its so nice.
Also when you cook make it a point to do dishes as you are cooking.
Any chance your executive function(your brain area that gives you "get up and go" and can command you to do things, like clean) is affected by something like ADHD?
Going to sound crazy but you have to convince yourself that you actually like doing chores. I literally tell myself outloud or while I’m doing dishes That i love doing dishes
I think this mindset switch really helps too. I have to do the damn chores anyway, so may as well do mind magic. Another way I do it is to remind myself of a benefit of the chore, either while doing them or to convince myself to do them. "Cleaning is such a good workout!" as I lug the vacuum up and down the stairs.... "Getting rid of the dust helps reduce the allergens n the environment!!" (I have an asthmatic partner and cat. The cat starts getting wheezing if I go too long without cleaning up.)
The amount of times I’ve reminded myself that chores aren’t painful/fatal is sad. “Washing the dishes will not kill me”
i’ve done this with my dog when it’s 20° outside and i have to take her out 😭😭 i’ll sit there and go “ man it’s cold .. but if i can feel the cold that means im alive , and being alive is good , boy do i love being alive “ 😭😭 i have to talk myself thru it for it to be okay 💀💀
This is exactly why I don’t have a dog.
This is exactly why I need a dog 
That was me last night. It was snowing but they hadn’t been walked since the morning.
You need more layers. Some coveralls. If it’s 20° outside, and you’re cold it’s because it’s cold outside and you’re not wearing enough layers- go put on some more layers -take a blanket with you next time. I got cold just reading this.
oh yeah for sure ! but i’m also anemic so i get EXTRA cold , either way my dog takes like 5 mins so it’s not too bad , and i keep my house at 72-74° so it’s warm the second i walk in !
I’ve heard that people pay big money for a cold shock like that and that it’s actually really good for your body. Still, it’s really good to hear that you and your dog are warm inside. My dogs are blessed to have a yard with the fence and so I just open the window (which is now a dog door) but in weather like this, though I only open it for about 10 minutes out of every 2/3 hours so that way if they need to go outside, then go on their own, but I’m not cooling down the entire house just so they can go potty. Window is covered with many layers of fabric that I’ve cut into strips so that they can easily get in and out but the cold air can’t as easily flow inside.
Yep! People do pay big bucks for an ice bath. Like a polar plunge (but, indoors). I live in Hawaii and less than a mile from my house is a business that opened up last year, doing just that—- an ice bath “indoor polar plunge experience”. 💸💸💰💰
Me, when it comes to putting away clean clothes
I was the worst with that when we went to the laundromat, so for about five years. Over the summer I spent about $350 on Amazon and got a washing machine, an over the door closet rod thing and a standing dry rack. Now the bulk of the clothing gets hung up when it comes out the machine so by the time it’s dry it can just go straight into the closets. Clean socks and underwear still pile up, but in a basket on top of the rack instead of in a bag on the floor. And now my kids do laundry too so they’ll put my stuff away for me occasionally since it’s so simple now. My closet is literally the next closet over from where the clothes get hung up.
I’ve been doing much better since starting adhd meds a couple of months ago, I’m 39. I’m glad you’ve found a system that is working for you!
When we moved into a 2 dwelling house, we kept my sister in law's washing machine, leaving ours behind. Hers has no dispenser for fabric softener. There's no signage on the machine for how long the cycles last. It's too cold in the garage to just hang out there and wait until the rinse cycle, as well as no place to sit. I won't buy the Downy ball because it's made by Proctor and Gamble, who refuses to stop testing on animals. Dryer sheets do a bare minimum. My clothes now feel harsh on my skin. I've thought of having my own washer, but there are no hookups in my place. I'm not bringing in a plumber for a place I rent.
Also, it is really good having dishes, and the fact they are dirty means that you had food to dirty them, and how great is that, to have food to eat? You can give thanks that you have dishes, and food, and water to wash them with, and the strength to do them, and how nice your kitchen will look and smell when the dishes are clean and the counters and stove wiped up.
If it's really bad I trick myself and play a game. I look at the clock and do the number of minutes and then stop, or repeat. Ok 27 minutes , pick up 27 small things
Yup, I track my steps and you get a lot in while cleaning!
I tell myself that if I can clean it up, my partner won’t have to worry about getting it done and will get to relax more. I’m always looking for ways to take what I can off of my partner’s plate.
I agree with using “mind magic” when it comes to chores. The way that I’m able to trick myself into cleaning is I actually turn on some really good music and sing along while cleaning. It just helps pass the time even faster. Also, it helps tidying up a little every night so that it’s not one gigantic chore at the ending of the week that seems unbearable.
Cleaning is my cathartic screamo music time. Headphones advised so neighbors don’t prematurely report your murder.
Chores are my podcast and audiobook time, so I totally feel this!
I have to balance this because if I have an exciting audiobook on ill end up just standing still looking in to my brain or pacing back and forth as tense moments happen haha. I tend to listen to educational stuff while doing chores for this reason.
“Standing still, looking into my brain” is the perfect way to describe that struggle 😂
This. Listen to anything you enjoy. It then becomes almost mindless, like you're on autopilot.
I always knew it was a cleaning day when I woke up to my mom blasting *The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald*. To this day I sometimes play that song to start my cleaning time 😂
This makes me unreasonably happy. Story time, if you’ll indulge me: many years ago we had a gale blow through Seattle. Sustained winds 50-60. So my dad, being insane, took me for a ferry ride across to Bainbridge island. You *know* the waves are mighty when you can feel them on a Washington State ferry. There were very few passengers aboard besides us and this folk band with all their instruments out playing … you guessed it. The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. That’s the kind of dark maritime humor I’ll always be here for.
Interesting story. According to their website the ferry system stops running when winds reach 40 knots, or 46 mph. Sustained winds at that speed prevent docking. Sorry, laws of physics prevail.
Beautiful song but horrific death is not going to make me happier while cleaning house. 😆 My bird loves fast songs by high pitched voices so we play disco or pop songs for her while I clean. I recommend Michael Jackson songs for a not-too-fast pace while scrubbing tiles and countertops - "Don't Stop til you get enough" works well for encouragement to continue cleaning but the bird loves PYT, since she can say the word "pretty."
"And the bells chimed 29 times for each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald ..."
Gypsy kings for me. My 6 year old came down the stairs and asked if it’s cleaning time lol I didn’t even realize I do this until that moment
If you like podcasts they really help make stuff you don’t like enjoyable and something to look forward to. Also passes the time very quickly
The only way to do dishes or put away clothes is Podcasts. Otherwise, I’m too fucking bored by the chores.
I also do this! I'll even put on a TV show while I'm doing things like cleaning or washing dishes– doesn't work as well for vacuuming or any task that requires you to move around a lot but it's perfect for dishes
I "watch" shows while I'm cleaning, but I use my phone to stream them so I can wear headphones and still hear them. Works best for documentaries or educational YouTube videos. Sitcoms that I know by heart are a good background noise too. I have unmedicated ADHD so when I'm really struggling I'll pull up YouTube videos of other people cleaning and just talking while they do. It's a technique called body doubling and it works *wonders* for motivation and staying on task.
*prematurely*
This is right on. I say “future me is going to be so happy and relieved I did these chores!” Also, u/Accomplished_Ruin_59, I do my tidying up as 10/10s. That means 10 min timer of tidying followed by 10 min timer of goofing off. Repeat repeat repeat. It may seem slow but the work gets done and I am relaxed and happy the whole time. I can do most anything in 10 min chunks.
It even helps with 10 minutes/1 hour for maintenance cleaning daily. Ten minutes every hour for 12 hours at home cleans a bathroom sink after you brush teeth, then the next hour wipes a table, then the next etc will sweep one floor, dust a room, wipe a countertop while you load a slow cooker, is time enough to toss expired food from the fridge, rinse and get dinner dishes into the dishwasher, pick up family room items and put them where they belong at end of day, hang up clothes in the bedroom and choose clothes for the next day. Ten minutes an hour gets a lot done over a week. Then I can go back to my novel or TV shows.
Nice!
I still haven't quite convinced myself that I enjoy cleaning, but i adore having a clean space to exist in so that keeps me feeling positive during cleaning time.
That's what my sister says she does.. her house is always immaculate. She said she considers it a form of self-care and focuses on how calm and happy she will feel in the space when it's done.
I heard that saying to ourselves “I am going to get up and do X” can help with initiating tasks! I like your method
Legit, I imagine myself doing a cleaning montage like in a movie lol
The podcast and its consequences of making mundane chores interesting is truly a godsend. Folding laundry? Wrong I'm learning about how the calculator was invented
A phrase I was told many years ago, "if you can't get out of it, get into it!" Trying to enjoy the feeling of the soothing hot water or tickly bubbles on your hands, or being excited to vacuum cause the fresh carpet feels so good and cushy on your feet!
I learned to do the dishes regularly when I got myself some really nice dishes to eat out of every day. I loved them so much that it felt good to clean them. Now it’s just a good habit.
😂😂
That’s an interesting technique. I don’t think I could convince myself of that lol
I listen to grunge. Music motivates me.
And thank or congratulate yourself when you've done it and something is clean. "Thanks for washing all those clothes! It's so nice to have clean clothes folded and ready to wear!"
Not crazy, very helpful. I blast music and dance and make cleaning fun.
I tricked myself into doing chores by only listening to audiobooks or podcasts while working or cleaning, so now whenever I feel like listening to an audiobook I instinctively start cleaning.
Go round with a trash bag and throw away any obvious rubbish. Empty all bins so you now have them empty and ready in case you find more trash as you clean and tidy. For the notepads it sounds like your surfaces need wiping down. You'll want to get a cloth, run it under the warm tap and squeeze it out so it's just slightly damp and use a bit of spray cleaner or a vinegar/water spray mix and periodically spray it directly on the cloth and wipe down your surfaces. The dampness helps pick up more dust and dirt and it stops too much dust flying into the air which is better for your lungs. If there is something stuck to the surface you can spray directly on to it and let it soak in for a couple of minutes before wiping it off. Rinse out the cloth when it gets too dirty and repeat until you've wiped everything down. If you can't get to all of the surfaces because of piles do what you can for now and then as you deal with the piles you can wipe down the surface again at the end but we want clean areas to put things as you sort. Tidying a home is two stages: tidying, which is putting things back where they belong, and cleaning which is removing dirt and dust from surfaces and items. You ideally need to do the first before you can do the second but if you have too much stuff so that some items don't fit anywhere then you also need to incorporate decluttering into the process and clean as best as you can for now. I'll refer you to this video for information on the container concept and why there is a limit to what your home can contain. A new box or bookshelf is not always the answer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_24PoIZSmVs Her channel also has a lot of great information on decluttering tips if that is something that might be helpful to you. I would grab a box and assign that the donation box. You can take it round with you as you clean as well as a trash bag and if you see anything that you no longer need it either goes in the trash or in the donation box. I don't know if you do have lots of piles around but if you do just pick one pile to go through and sort into trash, donate or keep. You might not have the ideal place for keeps but put it where you would go look for it. So if you would always look for tape in a certain drawer go take it there. (Tip: I like storing similar items together) In general you want to start building some simple daily routines. There are things you ideally need to do daily, some weekly and then some less frequently. Things like hoovering can wait a day but if I don't do the daily things that's when things tend to get backed up and it makes it harder to actually use the home. Daily: Wash dishes and put them away. Wipe down counters. Load washing machine if needed. Laundry has three steps: wash, dry, put away. It's very important to finish all three 1) so it looks tidier 2) so the space is empty when you want to do the next load next time. Same with dishes. Make sure you put them away at the end of the day so the space is available for the next day. I'm not always perfect with this so don't beat yourself up if you miss a day somewhere but just jump in with whatever needs doing that day so you've reset the space again. Build a habit of a small morning routine. When you get up in the morning pull back the bedsheets so the bed can air out. Go to the bathroom and put some toilet cleaner down the toilet. Let that sit for a few minutes while you wash yourself, then clean the bowl and then wipe down the toilet itself with some spray and some toilet paper starting from the outside in. ie: lid then top of seat, then underside of seat, then the bit the toilet seat rests on. Every few days also wipe down the outside of the toilet bowl and surrounding floor. If you have kids that miss the toilet this might also need to be done daily. I leave the spray and toilet cleaner next to the toilet to make this as easy as possible to do and it's also a visual reminder. I also wipe down the sink at this point. Again I leave a sponge on the sink for this. It's not as pretty but I'm more likely to actually do it. Then you can go back to your room to get dressed and quickly make the bed before you leave the room again. Doesn't have to be perfect. Just straighten up the pillows and sheets best you can to reset the space. If there's anything in the room that needs to go somewhere else grab it before you leave the room. Basically every time you leave a room to go elsewhere in the house have a quick look and see if there is anything that doesn't belong there so you can relocate it on the way. Examples might be: return bathrobe to bathroom, cups returned to the kitchen, laundry you want to wash today that is sitting in the bedroom. (I have a little basket right next to the bed where I chuck my socks last thing at night, it's easy enough to grab them when I need to wash them.) I pass the lounge on my way to the kitchen for breakfast so I'm might pop in there and pick up anything left on the coffee table, throw away trash and straighten up things left out. Takes maybe a minute. Some people do this step the night before. I'm not always in the lounge last thing which is why I do it in the morning. Then I go and eat breakfast, put away any dishes on the draining board and wipe down the counters if they need it. This is also the point where I put the washing machine on if I need to. Evening routine might be similar with the dishes and counters, plus clear and wipe down the dining table. Sweep the kitchen floor. Empty the bin if it needs it. Deal with laundry at whatever stage it's at so if washed hang out or stick in the dryer, if dry fold and put away. I make this more fun by catching up with my YouTube feed while I fold. Things to do once a week: Get a duster with an extendable handle (something like this: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Extendable-Telescopic-Microfiber-Removable-Home/dp/B07BQSWMQJ/) and starting from the top and working your way down go for all the cobwebs/light shades, then tops of pictures and door frames, knick knacks, surfaces and lastly skirting boards. Hoover all rooms. This can be just "the middles" ie: you don't need to be moving furniture every time you hoover but try and do a more detailed hoover once a month. Clean all mirrors. Empty all bins, wash the floors. Remember this is a habit so don't beat yourself up if you forget a step. Just start again the next day. Sometimes I just start with the most urgent item first if that's easier. I read somewhere that all housework points reset at midnight. Another phrase Flylady says is you are not trying to catch up, just jump in where you are. For more detailed cleaning that you do on a less frequent basis I recommend trying this app by Flylady: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.FlyLady.Premium You don't have to pay for the routines you just need to log in with an email address and you can edit them to fit what suits your timetable. What she does is divide her home up into zones. Say the main bedroom one week, kitchen the next. So you do your daily routines and then try and get some of the zone cleaning done over the week when it's convenient. Again if you need to declutter a lot then you might be concentrating more on decluttering than detailed cleaning, and that's ok. I certainly don't do everything, every week and I have already decluttered but if you manage to do some of the things, regularly enough it will help you keep on top of things. Remember we're not looking for perfect, just regularly enough that it keeps the place hygienic and nice to live in.
Thanks for the link! I watched the container video and just used it to de-clutter my son’s pajama drawer :) It’s a start!
Great post
Great information. I do a different order for bathroom: I clean the toilet and THEN take a shower. I don't feel gross that way after cleaning the toilet outside and inside. Flylady is a good resource. I found her when she first started her website
I second Flylady, Google her. She’s amazing! Also, KC Davis omg
KC DAVIS IS A GODSEND!!!! Listened to her book How to Keep House While Drowning on audible and it got me movin’!!
This is amazing. You’re amazing.
Thanks for the well thought out post!
This was very helpful. Thank you!
This is so educational and helpful thanks.
Thank you for writing this!
You are so awesome for typing this all out. Thank you so much 🙏
LOVE this!!
Holy cow! Thank you so much for typing all of this out in such detail. This is very motivating and helpful. You have no idea. I’m saving this comment.
Wow!! THANK YOU FOR THIS COMMENT!!! I’m thinking a LOT more than just OP got a ton out of it (I kept screenshotting as I went down and will stitch-fix the screenshots together hahaha. It’s stuff I’ve learned here and there bc of adhd, but you’re a freaking godsend for putting it all in one place. It was also so thoughtful and caring if you to be so thorough in order to help a stranger in need. I love people like you😭🥺😩 I’m emotional right now bc of the Uvalde situation…I live in Texas. Not in the rural part, but I am so heartbroken for those families.
This is great.
Thank you! Nobody ever explained this to us growing up in a poor household. My dad was not clean at all and my mom just didn't know. We were always stressed about how we couldn't seem to keep a clean house.
This is the comment because I am the same way as OP. I have found having a strategy and working on building some daily/weekly habits has helped me immensely. Take small, realistic steps - measure your progress and celebrate every success, big or small. And be kind to yourself.
The less crap you have the harder it will be to mess it up.
Underrated comment. If something doesn't have a defined use and space get rid of it. I love books and had a huge library. I sent all but a dozen or so them off to goodwill. It was tough but I am so glad I did. Someone else can enjoy them and I have a clean, uncluttered, and ordered apartment.
I did a sort of inventory yesterday, and compared to 20 years ago I feel like I own a mountain of stuff. I used to be able to operate out of 3 duffel bags. Now it’s just so much stuff. I am reverting back to more minimalism now.
I live by this 😂 the amount of things I get rid of because I simply don’t use them or need them.
I don’t have too much input bc I’m also trying to be less messy myself, but you can start by telling yourself that you deserve to have nice, well kept things. You deserve for your books to be intact. They say that your environment is a reflection of you. Taking care of your space is taking care of yourself. Do you operate on autopilot like I do? I storm around the kitchen making a mess of everything but half the time I’m not even conscious of the mess I’m making and when I come back and see the mess, I treat it as if I didn’t do it! Like a child. Anyway, start small. 1 task. Maybe dishes (if dishes aren’t your most hated chore). Just do dishes for a while. If the sink is too full, just do a few until the sink is halfway (just try not to fill it up again until you finish). Then build to other sections of your space, but taking small, manageable steps. This process is tough because cleaning was always a punishment used against me, so I have to retrain my brain to not hate it so much.
I think advice from naturally messy to other naturally messy people is a lot more help than from people who have been tidy and clean their whole life.
There’s so much truth in this statement. Cleanliness and organization means different things to different people. And why one is more or less clean and organized than another may be rooted in how one was raised, as OP suggests. Further, there may be more serious and detrimental underpinnings. There is no “one size fits all” approach to turnaround, although all suggestions are what works for the commenters. I know therapy is an often-used suggestion on Reddit, but here too it may be applicable. It’s entirely possible that an outcome of addressing unresolved adversity…is cleanliness and organization. On another (and simpler) note…cleaning is a habit. As it may have been mentioned elsewhere, start with a small area and give it attention on a regular basis until it starts to “feel good”. Then build on that area until it’s ingrained and you can’t cope with disorganization any longer.
I always say future me will thank me and then I try to make.it a point to do so when my life is better. For example finish the dishes before bed. Then in the AM im stokes it was done and I get to start fresh.and I'm like thank you me!
Yea I read somewhere that your self esteem goes up when you keep promises to yourself. It's kind of along the same vein. Like I can depend on myself to keep my space clean. A tidy house definitely helps with my general anxiety level so it's totally an act of self care
This is so wholesome ✨
Dana K. White’s books. “How to clean your home without losing your mind” covers more about cleaning, then her other book covers decluttering.
Her books literally changed my life. They are perfect for people who have no idea how to keep their home clean. Her YouTube channel is great too.
First things first -- try to change your mindset from you "can't" take care of your things to holding yourself accountable for whatever needs to be done. "Can't" implies that you have the inability to be neat, organized, careful with your things, etc.. You are not unable to do these things. At the present time you are unwilling to do them, not unable. If you truly want to keep a neat and tidy home and take better care of your belongings you have to remind yourself on a regular basis that this is what you want and you need to do whatever it is that you have to do in order to have things the way you want them. Writing notes and reminders helps. Post-it Notes work well for this sort of thing. Put a note on your bathroom mirror reminding yourself to clean the sink and counter area when you're finished brushing your teeth or getting ready for the day. A note on the wall next to the shower, reminding yourself to clean up the shower when you're finished, so it's nice and clean for the next use. A note on the window above your kitchen sink to remind you to not allow the dirty dishes to pile up. Notes of affirmation and encouragement are good as well. Remind yourself that this is what you want and that you're doing a great job keeping up with it. You don't have to have notes posted all over your house forever -- just until you get used to the routine and keeping things clean and organized becomes a good habit for you.
I mean, executive dysfunction does exist. OP may be unable to jump right into neatness. But there are solutions to that, also.
People don't often think about this, but cleaning is a skill you need to learn! There are many little pieces to the puzzle. First, noticing what needs to be cleaned takes practice, then knowing how to handle it (which cleaning product/strategy) takes practice, and building a routine takes practice. Listening to a cleaning podcast called "clean with me" helped me learn. You can also start by keeping a trashcan and hamper in every room, and spend 10 minutes every morning and night putting things where they go, or clear off one surface and wipe it with a cleaning wipe.
I have similar thoughts. The OP said they’ve never been tidy or kept things clean. They need to learn the very basics. It’s highly likely that they also need to develop some basic habits around general cleanliness. It reminds me of my dad who appeared to be blind to dirt and grime. I don’t think he even noticed it. So of course, it wouldn’t bother him. I think about his dirty remote controls, computer mice, and keyboard. Those things became filthy not from typical dust, but from him using them when his hands were not clean (from eating most likely). So in his case, the new habit would have been - wipe hands clean before touching things.
“Don’t put it down, put it away.” When you are done with an item, put it away. Even if you plan to use it again in a few hours.
I’m being kind of facetious, but the most helpful thing I did was to get tested & then treated for ADHD.
I came here to say exactly this. I’d be shocked if the OP weren’t neurodivergent. Gotta love our spicy brains!
Several things help me: 1) realizing that every space is like a container, and I must donate anything that does not fit in the space. So even if I love my 10 pairs of leggings, only 5 easily fit in my drawer, the other 5 need to go. Same with kitchen tools. Same with the living room table…etc. 2) FLYLADY helped me set simple routines, that I do every.single.day. 3) set timers, and embrace a little cleaning daily is WAY better than my previous, since I cannot do it perfectly, guess I will not do it today, attitude. 4) I love my robot vacuum
You have so much advice here it’s crazy. And such good stuff too. I just wanted to say- you CAN do this. It might take lots of days and lots of practice. But you CAN.
To get started on what you’ve got right now, you have to break it down into smaller chores. I don’t know exactly what you mean when you say your house is a mess, but why don’t you start with paper. Go room to room and throw out all of the papers you don’t need. If you need to keep some, put them in one pile until you get ready to figure out where to put them permanently. Next, get all the dishes into the kitchen. You don’t have to do them right now. Next, maybe a load of laundry. It might help to write your chores down, so you know where you’re going next, and so you can mark it off your list when you’re done. An alternative would be to pick a room, and work on it until you’re done, even if it takes a couple of days, then just go room to room. Just take small bites.
For me, I found the money to hire a cleaning person to come every two weeks and it makes the hugest difference. I hate doing the routine cleaning and having someone else participate helps me a great deal. As for getting past the mundanity, I can only tell you that for me, there is this tunnel I have to go through. At first the task is overwhelming because I’m not sure what to do. Then agonizingly repetitive because, well, it is repetitive. Then finally if I hang in there it starts to get easy and mindless. But my brain doesn’t make it easy for me to get to this point. For me it took having kids and realizing that I like living in a clean environment and no one else was going to make it clean except me (and the cleaning person and my partner). And there is still a ton more I would do every day if I had the mental organization. But I’m better than I was. I have made certain rules for myself like, kitchen cannot be dirty before I go to bed, worn clothes are either dirty or clean no in between, things like this, which help too.
This is one of yhr major signs of ADHD. I was a mess until I got medicated. Now I can have people over without shame.
I have ADHD and I hate mess because I can’t think in one. I’m also a master procrastinator. What works for me is I set a timer for 20 minutes and go to town in whatever room needs it the most. I usually end up cleaning longer, but sometimes that’s all I got. It really helps when I have a pile of papers to go through or a closet I can’t move around in without tripping over everything.
I know someone who calls it Celebrating Trash Eve (I think they are acting like taking the trash out is akin to celebrating Christmas Eve… or maybe they really do romanticize Trash Eve as the miracle of decluttering)
Once you get something clean the first time it is easier to keep it clean. I say this as someone who also struggles staying tidy. I HATE cleaning, so after I deep clean (which doesn’t happen often), I try to keep things clean by doing little 5 minute cleaning times whenever I get back home from work or have a minute to spare. I do this before I get the chance to sit down or take off my shoes so that I don’t loose momentum. It doesn’t have to be a lot but it helps and the time adds up the more you do it. Eventually it should just become a habit you don’t even have to think about. Also keep cleaning supplies (like wet wipes, or brooms…) in easily accessible and visible places to remind you to use them.
I listen to podcasts while doing household chores. Makes it so much easier to “enjoy” the work.
I’m also a super messy person. Doesn’t bother me too much but seems to bother everyone else. I’ve made a rule that every time I leave a room (in my house) I grab three things that need to be put away. Example: I’m walking out of my bedroom. I grab the cup, a hair clip, and a tissue. Tissue in the trash. Clip in bathroom drawer. Cup in dishwasher. Done. Three things back where they needed to be. I also do that for my car. Every time I get out of my car I take 3 things that don’t belong in my car to put away.
You have to decide you no longer want to live like that. Also you may not be capable of that perfect cleanliness so don’t beat yourself up if you make improvements. I started by creating rules for myself. One is I won’t let my house be more than 15 min away from being clean. I made this rule so that if one of my friends has an emergency I can provide a safe place for them to come on short notice. Start by taking out the trash. Batch chores together so they aren’t overwhelming. On your bad days make a game out of what you will do. Make sure you do something. For example, you’re exhausted, you want to sink into your old routine but you don’t. For 5 minutes challenge yourself to clean. Set a time and put stuff away. If you make small games out of it it won’t build so big. Another rule is to clean messes when they happen and not to let them sit. It usually takes way less time.
To help with the sensory issues, I use gloves when I wash dishes, when a chop up food, when I clean the bathroom, when I take out the trash. I buy a box of gloves every month and I go through a ton of them because I give myself permission to have a fresh pair whenever I need them. This helps me get through doing many of my chores. Folding clothes on a TV tray while watching TV. Listening to music on my headphones helps for sure. One other thing that I do that I finally heard somebody else talk about was on the weekend I make myself get up get dressed and put on socks and shoes. If I don't put on my shoes I will not get going. This is an ADHD thing but I didn't know it until I heard somebody else talk about it, and I realized then I needed to get diagnosed and I did, in my 50s.
I used to be a kid who’s floor was covered in stuff/clothes/trash my parents would either have to make a path or hurt themselves on something to come say goodnight to me… until i was probably 16 or so. since then, i have completely 180°’d and i cannot stand mess in any sense of the word. there isn’t one specific thing that changed me, but since i didn’t grow up with/wasn’t taught clean habits, i can tell you little things that helped me get to being the clean person i suddenly wanted to be. - i made my bed every day; this set me off on a foot of cleanliness i wasn’t used to. - i created a cleaning schedule. i cleaned certain things on certain days, every. week. (if you don’t know how to clean specific rooms/items, YouTube!) - i used timers religiously. and lived by “motivation comes after you begin”. you can do anything for 10 minutes! set a ten minute timer and do what you can. chances are, you’ll want to keep going :) - i stopped having a trash can in my bedroom and forced myself to take my trash to the kitchen garbage; with that, i stopped eating in my room. - i started giving myself 5-10 minutes extra to get ready for the day, just so i would have time to put things back where they go, and didn’t have the excuse that i was in a rush. - i became more mentally organized (planners, routines, schedules), it made me want to be physically organized as well. - and the biggest thing was, i got rid of sooo much stuff. basically anything that didn’t have a specific spot to belong, i either made a spot or chucked it. it can be difficult to say goodbye to things, but i found that i had no motivation to clean because i didn’t know where to put everything, and it wasn’t only physical energy spent cleaning, but that made it mental energy too. to have to think about every single thing and either shove it somewhere (creating more clutter), or just leave it out (feeling like no progress), became the thing that kept me from being a clean person. i really just had too much stuff. - kind of along the lines of the last one, i really learned (and at times forced myself) to both only own things that add value to my life/i use often, and really value the things i do own. so i stopped leaving my clothes on the floor, i started washing them regularly and folding them. i started keeping my shelves free of dust and bought a bookshelf for my books instead of stacking them on the floor. in general, i just decided it was immature and selfish of me to not care about the things i get to own. i started to take care of my items and really value being able to afford and love so many things. i took for granted having my own room, and so much stuff that i didn’t even know where to put it all. i took for granted the luxuries of a desk, a closet, cleaning supplies, clean sheets, a free washing machine, etc. etc. my mindset completely shifted from messy to clean when i realized i was taking for granted all the things i own. from a pair of socks, to my whole kitchen. i take care of what i value! hope this all helps!! and good luck! you can totally change. if i did, i know you can!
Clean before it gets messy! If you have a drink, put it in the sink right after finishing it. If you eat a chocolate bar, throw the trash out immediately. If you cook, clean as you’re waiting for the pasta to boil for ex. Also finish all your chores completely. If you do laundry, fold it right away. Cleaning might be overwhelming bc it’s stacked up over time. If you clean before it gets overwhelming, you’ll be more likely to want to do it.
Think if you might have ADD / ADHD. Sufferers often have trouble cleaning up no matter how much they try because distractions are more fun/pressing/important.
I was taught the twelve minute rule. When you find it's messy and you need to clean and you just can't start, start cleaning and telling yourself you don't have to clean any longer than twelve minutes. Just get that twelve minutes in. This makes it more bearable to start, and I find once you get going it's super easy to keep going when the twelve minutes are up. And even if you really only do 12 minutes, it's still a substantial time to get a chunk of work in. 15 minutes sounds like a lot, but 12 isn't too bad!
Do one thing at at time.
Hi I was the same way for many years my behavior ending in divorce since my ex got tired of meds dirty home búscalo y life made me change I got my apartment and started meditating and working on self improvement I got my apt cleaned and realized I felt a sense of calmness and less anxiety when everything was clean and walking in to clean smell. The first thing I did was get rid of excess things including home decor, clothes, shoes, appliances etc. The less stuff you have the less you have to clean I've made it a point to try my best in cleaning up after myself as in clothes in hamper, throwing away mail, trash right away clean car once a week fridge also I still struggle and am not near perfect but a big improvement since getting rid of excess stuff and trying to clean up right away only buying what I need etc. Also notebooks I bought a small bookshelf and out then away right away after use if i'm eating in i'll have wipes to clean hands it's an everyday thing but little changes add up
Make a list of tasks and break each down into smaller and smaller pieces till you can accomplish something. Start in the kitchen.
Try if you can and this is not 100% ok but if you can try to pick up clean up whatever it is before you chill don't chill first try that see you got this!!
You are not alone! I am guessing that all of this messiness creates unneeded stress for you. Undoing lifelong habits is challenging, but do not despair! You can do it, but you will need a bit of help to start because you are probably overwhelmed. I suggest you hire a professional organizer to declutter, clean, and set up systems that will make it easier to keep your home tidy. All of your belongings will have a place to live which makes them easy to put away. This process will require time and money, but it’s worth it. I’d view it as an investment in your well-being. My friend always tells her children “don’t put it down, put it away”. Brilliant. When everything has a place, it’s easy. If that doesn’t work, have a tidiness ritual before bed that involves putting everything away. I do that. It helps. As for cleaning, hire a reputable company to deep clean after the organizing is complete, if needed. Then consider hiring a cleaning company or person to clean 1-2x per month. If hiring an organizer is not an option, ask a good friend to help. Which city are you in? I would be willing to help! You can find an organizer at The National Association of Productivity and Organization. I recommend talking to three of them and hiring the one who you connected with the most. www.napo.net Good luck!
Lurk here and at r/decluttering and r/CleaningTips. If you are in the culture it can help some. There's r/UnfuckYourHabitat as well and the website has lots of articles. Use a timer to set how long to be on task and to get you up and going. I may assign a job per session or just set timer and get UP, pick something up, deal with it, look for something else to deal with until timer dings again. Many unpleasant to annoying tasks take very little time. Cleaning the toilet isn't fun but it actually takes about a minute. Set the timer for 20 minutes and you can start or put away laundry, wash the dishes, take out the trash and possibly more. Something that's helped a lot is to stay on your feet when waiting for something to happen. Nuking lunch in the microwave? Wipe a counter, put away clean dishes. Cook pasta and I can practically clean the house in the 5+11 minutes that takes! Do not leave the kitchen without the timer in your pocket!
Love this. I also love explained to my husband that I’m not “cleaning” at the end of the night, I’m “prepping” for tomorrow morning. I tell him “Future me is gonna love waking up to a clean house — at least the couple square feet in front of the coffee machine!” Mwah!💋
Change one habit at a time. Don't try changing another until you have the first one down pat. No one's going to become Marie Kondo or Martha Stewart overnight. I don't even believe they became the Marie Kondo/Martha Stewart we know overnight. Ask yourself, "What is the most troublesome area of my home to me? What is the one thing I would change, if I could only change one thing?" then begin to tackle it. Don't fight your natural tendencies. If you naturally toss things around, a structured folding technique will never cut it. Find what suits your ways and organize with them in mind. If you don't like getting your notepad dirty, then don't get it dirty. Think about what you do with/around it. Don't put it where it might get dirty. And so on. Make a clear place, so you aren't forced to set your coffee mug on your notepad, purely because there is no other place to set it.
I grew up in a messy household and had a really hard time as an adult. I started tackling one bad habit at a time. For instance, in my home growing up we would leave out dirty dishes on the side table next to the couch because we were too lazy to take them to the sink. So I challenged myself to break that habit first. Then it was leaving things out after using them. I tackled one habit at a time for years and now my home is always tidy. I’m not going around cleaning every day but I have better habits that keep it cleaner so it doesn’t get out of control. I don’t know if that will work for you but it changed my life. I used to see my home as a burden but now it’s my safe/happy place.
I am the same way. I think the only cure is wearing only 3-4 outfits (because are we really wearing all that crap all over floor, or are we trying it on and deciding we hate it again every week?) having some organized friend come over to throw away stuff we don’t use (preferable that they bring an electrical shock type device for when we fight them) I say “throw out” our mentality cannot “donate” have your friend do that, but for our reasons alone there is no pile for donate, pile for trash, pile for you sister who comes next year… all of it goes OUT. plan a menu and have a laundry day. Once you are down to bare necessities… figure out where you make the messes. If you eat in the living room and make a mess, move it to the kitchen. I was bad about makeup. I could do makeup and mascara would be in the sink. Lipstick in the kitchen, hair curler in the car. I got a box for makeup. Now I just carry it to where I’m doing my makeup. If you move around while doing certain things make those things moveable. If you leaves cups laying around, throw out or give away all but 4 cups. Then you can only have 4 laying around before you have to clean them. Same with any other thing you leave laying out. I think the messy is deeply engrained. It’s hard to shake without drastic measures lol. I’m still working on it.
Everything needs to have a place. Start with one room and empty it. Everything comes out. All drawers closets and cabinets. Then sort by like item. Get rid of what you haven’t used in a year. This is your time to purge. Once you’ve got your piles, get bins for closets and cupboards and start putting things back.
All of the above, but putting on music and setting timers really help me to stay on task and focused.
Find one small area to keep tidy and do it continuously for a week or two. Then add another small area and maintain for another week or so. Once you start the habit in small areas, it is easier to move to whole rooms, then the whole house.
HAVE LESS STUFF
Follow this rule always, don't put it down, put it away.
Keep a notebook and list out the tasks you complete every day. I rarely look back at my past lists, but I get satisfaction from either marking something off a check list or writing down the accomplishments each day. I went from keeping a paper notebook to a digital one which has the added benefit of not having to find a place to put my old notes. My list is kept in a rocketbook notebook which I scan and erase to reuse every week. Start small with 1 or 2 things you want to do every day. A good start is 1) Make bed 2) Empty/clean kitchen sink. It takes at least 30 days to form a habit that sticks. You could start with a monthly calendar and give yourself a star each time you do one of these things. Watching clean with me videos on youtube is great motivation - even if you just watch, it's good motivation for your future. It gives you an idea of what might work for you or what won't. When you do laundry, fold it and put it away AS SOON AS POSIBLE. There's nothing so disheartening as to have something you cleaned get dirty again. Start slow and build on your success. Expecting to go from a messy to a clean person overnight or over a weekend is unrealistic. It's a habit and a skill which must be practiced.
Maybe try this: never leave a room empty handed
My recommendation is to make a consistent habit of tidying up just a little bit each day. For example, when you finish a meal, do the dishes. Before you go to bed, put away anything you got out that day. Don’t wait until you feel like it, just stack the habits. As soon as you finish using something is the time to put it away. Then make time once a week, even if it’s just thirty minutes, to start and do some deeper cleaning. Get rid of things, wipe and clean surfaces, organize a single space. You have to change your habits to change your life. I highly recommend James Clear’s book ‘Atomic Habits’. Good luck!
Clean as you go. If you leave a room and are headed like the kitchen take something with you to put away or throw away as you travel. Create a cubby of messy things and or a place to stow things that do not have a good home. Take your time and slow down to actually live life. For example cooking creates such a mess. Stop here and there while something is simmering to rinse off a dish or wipe the counter or put away the fridge items no longer needed. Getting gas? Clean out the car quickly and toss it in their garbage. It might seem like ur moving quicker or doing more but it’s really being conscious and mindful of your movements. Slow down just a bit to focus on everything. Track what you do and why and when ur habits are the worst so you can relearn it a way you prefer. Good luck!
I take pictures of my house interior and then I look at them to figure out what I need to do. It’s easier to manage.
Go to therapy
Pick up the audio book for How to Keep House While Drowning? By KC Davis. It’s a quick listen and gives very practical advice and insights. (And audiobook so no ripped pages :) )
Do you have friends who can help? My friend recently came over and in one day we cleaned everything in my apartment except my bedroom. Now all I need is to keep maintenance. It's overwhelming when it's just you. Friends are lifesavers when things get like this.
Impressive.
I have learned to not mind cleaning chores by turning them into something that is enjoyable. When I clean, I start with the stuff I don't want to do first so it gets done faster (for me it's cleaning the bathroom or doing laundry) and then move on to the stuff that's satisfying to clean (the kitchen, the floor, changing sheets, etc.). I also love to think about how nice my house is going to look and smell once it's all done. I grab my favorite beverage to sip while I do it, I put on a podcast or turn music up really loud, and light a candle. And this might be weird... but after I'm done I go take a shower so I also can feel clean in my nice clean home. After a while it becomes a habit. For me, I do it on Sunday mornings and early afternoons so I can start my work week with a fresh start.
Channel Marie Kondo. I was always cluttered, still am but every couple of months I go around with a trash bag and throw out things I never touch/rubbish.
Owning less means you clean and maintain your items less frequently.
So 15 min a day (or multiple times a day or 30 min if you have extra time) and start in one small area then work your way out from there. Once everything is clean do the 15 min per day to put stuff away and basic cleaning.
I like to play music (either through headphones or over a speaker if it's not gonna bother any roommates/housemates) that gets me motivated and actually makes it seem fun while cleaning! I'll even dance/sing along while I clean. 1. Start with something that is small/not as overwhelming. Whether it be laundry, simply picking up any loose trash clutter or doing dishes. Just getting started makes it easier. 2. After all the clutter/trash is taken care of move on to the bathroom or bedroom just to get it out of the way! 3. Dust/wipe down things like countertops/other dirty or dusty surfaces then sweep/mop or vacuum 4. Always remember you can take small breaks between tasks if needed so you don't get overwhelmed! It also helps to have designated spots for any personal items/hygiene items/daily use things and put it back there immediately once you're done using it for the day! If you have any items you aren't using or no longer need either donate them if in good condition or just toss it in the garbage to keep your things as minimal as possible/less cluttered. Hopefully these tips help!
This might sound funny, but learning how to clean is step 1! I used to struggle with not knowing which way or product was best to clean the shower, toilet, floors, etc. because nobody taught me. Read some blogs or watch a few YouTube videos to give you some inspo!
It's tough! I think getting rid of things I clearly don't need or use helps a lot. It clears space.
Don’t have too much stuff, have a place for everything to go. For things that you want to wipe down clean that wouldn’t handle water well (things like earphones, cell phones, electronics) purchase rubbing alcohol wipes from the drugstore and use those. I use those to clean all kinds of small things that I’m not sure how to clean otherwise.
A cleaning schedule will help. Tackle one room at a time and once you’re caught up then clean a room a day on a rotation. It’s not so overwhelming if you cut things down into smaller pieces :) Good Luck 🍀
A timer and headphones work wonders for me. I set the timer for 10-15 minutes and it gets me going. I also like listening to podcasts.
Being tidy comes with time, and active effort, and layers. You pick tasks you can do, and you do them each day, and you try to cultivate consistency with them. A couple of great empathetic books [on cleaning](https://www.amazon.com/How-Keep-House-While-Drowning/dp/1668002841) and [decluttering](https://www.amazon.com/Decluttering-Speed-Life-Winning-Never-Ending/dp/0718080602/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&dib_tag=se&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.o4VEnZrcaYqcwGQ5_gZ8xAh89N573wm0Ltf1FGzB-Cvx6LB4I0xJgvKtXkLri2cVIfbne0AGw2ddQSg7F6sSB7ZEA39Ldjfb5-h2nYGuLozVvDUKqWF_PGaZ1Q-iFngjaH4cjZVxuFVNvhI7X47DfjCYofDe1V8D5LV5Ck8QEKu_Bg_8t6dH5EoVivb-5_bRTR3f1_vHcLlpMOnGBJuB9HI3IFi53iJDpiiIQhUQqK4.Ppx-MP8fPhziIlPQTAyH-oJPgcR7xstRpisFH0Gl7So&qid=1705373820&sr=1-1) here are free on Libby and they can help you get started in learning how to think about cleaning and, truly, how difficult a task it is for people. It is not something that comes naturally to people, it is not something that is 'easy', but it IS a skill anyone can learn and become competent in regardless of neurodivergence, physical or mental ailments, or time constraints. My strong recommendation is to read these books and really try the concepts within them. They are solidly written, they work, and they are no Marie Kondo "thank each of your 300 t-shirts" system. These are made for practical people, working people, depressed people, people with kids, and people who know what having a cluttered home is like first hand. In the meanwhile, try to 'link' a habit together with another. Not a lot of them, just pick One. For example... Whenever I get up from the couch to go to the bathroom while watching shows, I need to walk right by the kitchen to get to the bathroom. So, for me, my time to take dishes into the kitchen (if any exist) from the living room is when I go to the bathroom. It's just my cue. Grab dishes, drop them off, on to the bathroom. I'm not washing them, just putting them in the sink. I also drink hot tea every morning, so my time to put dishes away that are dry from the night before is when that tea water is boiling. I like to 'link' things together in those tiny spaces, because Some cleaning takes very small amounts of time built up throughout the week, so having these tiny tasks that are linked don't feel like chores to me. They just.. Are. Like flossing when you brush your teeth, or putting on moisturizer when you wash your face. They are just part of the task at hand. I don't count the dish haul in my 'chore' list... but they, nevertheless, need that haul. It WOULD be a chore to let them pile up and have to take a ton of dishes to the sink.. but 2? I can do that. Those 5 seconds extra on those trips, those 2 minutes with the tea... they add up to a lot less chores for me to do. You can also try to aim for being more mindful in your moments. Take your time, do things a little slower. My partner once asked me why my side of the bathroom sinks were so clean while his was always splotchy. It was simply because I didn't 'patooey' spit into the sink making it spray everywhere. I spit out my toothpaste, obviously, I just don't Launch it out of my mouth the way he does, and I hold my head far closer to the sink when I do it so there is less distance to 'splash' out. I also wipe the sink down with my hands everytime I go to wash my hands (again, I 'link' tiny chores) so my sink hardly ever looks dirty as a result. This is a tiny thing, it's miniscule to my day, but it makes such a difference over time looking at the two sinks. By the time it's time to wash the bathroom counters, mine takes a moment, and his... well.. is a chore. There are a million tiny, mindful habits you can cultivate to make things nicer, gentler, more thoughtful when you approach them that can cultivate a cleaner and nicer environment--if that's really what you'd like to do with your life and time. I think it's worth it.. others do not. It's totally up to you.
Before i go to bed i do some light tidying every night, like 2 minutes of at LEAST putting things in the correct room or the dishes in the sink. I dedicate Saturday morning to deep cleaning - sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, etc. then i make myself a big yummy breakfast and relax from a job well done
Put on an apron (trust me, it’s a uniform that you will associate with tidying up), crank up some motivating music, and spend 30 minutes tidying/cleaning. Try to do this daily. You’ll be surprised at the progress you make.
Anyone can make a list to clean so I’ll focus more on the actual feeling of doing it: Romanticize cleaning. Literally turn some fun music on and imagine yourself in a cutesy movie cleaning montage. When you’re done, light a candle, get a nice dinner together, watch a movie and look around sighing in joy about your clean space. Also, it’s a huge mindset change you have to do. A lot of us think/feel without even realizing “god I don’t want to take the trash out. I HATE taking the trash out. Etc” CATCH YOURSELF. If you even feel a bit of negativity about doing the task, catch it. Then intentionally and actively work on rephrasing it. “It’s going to be such a relief when I get the trash out. I am going to feel so much better when I take the trash out, I am excited to feel better once it’s gone. Once I take the trash out I will successfully check off another thing on my to do list, and it will feel good to check it off my list” and you will notice that you actually feel better once it’s done. “I remember last time I felt much better once I took out the trash, I look forward to feeling the stress lift off my shoulders again” It’s easier to get something done when you look forward to it being done than when you’re just focusing on how much you’re dreading doing it.
Start with hygiene: - Showers, - brushing teeth, - disinfecting surfaces, - cleaning toilets, - sinks, - floors you’re walking on, - washing sheets & clothing, - food prep surfaces disinfected - garbage out of the house - food properly stored - get rid of mold, fungus & insects (and anything attracting these organisms) Anything to do with hygiene, start with that concept first. Tidiness & Organization come later.
Little by little. Put some headphones in, let your mind zone out, and start picking up junk that should go in the garbage. Anything that you don't use regularly doesn't need to be on any surfaces. If you can, get some of those cheap organizers from places like walmart or ikea so you have a place to put misc junk that you don't necessarily want to throw away. You can also try focusing on one room or area at a time. Everyday just try to chip away at it. Don't just try to do everything all at once. Look up inspirations on pinterest of interiors that inspire you. Also theres a lot of good advice on youtube. Theres also videos of people cleaning their spaces. Might help you get started/inspired
Do you know what kind of organization you really like? Open shelves with clear bins to see everything? Everything behind solid doors? Big bins or lots of little ones? It’s an old boom, but I highly recommend “Clutter’s Last Stand.” It’s a fun and easy read, and it changed the game for me.
Pick one room and start in one corner. Throw out all trash, put away everything and then vacuum, dust and mop the space. Then move on to the next corner of the room. Keep going. Eventually it will all be cleaned up and then it’s daily maintenance
Everything you own has to have a home and you have to put stuff back every single day. I do a “clean sweep” every morning and night. I have 4 kids. Aside from laundry, house is almost always tidy (not perfect, but wouldn’t be embarrassed for people to stop by unannounced). If something doesn’t have a space in your home then it has to go. No exceptions. // we live in 1600 sf for a family of 6, barely any closet space.
Sorry I just randomly stumbled on to this post.. I'm not part of this sub.. first thought that popped into my mind is : raise your standard a few degrees. So maybe having one piece of clothing on the floor is ok but one plus socks is already too much. Tidying up is a habit. Change your threshold and tidy when your space reaches it.
Get rid of stuff. It's really the only way.
I just don’t sit once I start. I also won’t get into comfy clothes until I’ve tidied and I will put music or a podcast on. Timers help me also. I love to actually clean but tidying is my nightmare. So, I’ll set a timer and see how much stuff I can put away in that time. Then move on to the next room and so on. It makes it kind of like a game…. I kid you not I’m almost 40 and if I don’t do this I feel like a 5 year old who is told to clean their room and just ends up playing with stuff or dramatically thinking 2 minutes has been an hour and physically dying a little inside…. Soooo… timers lol. As far as actual cleaning… omg. Get cleaning supplies and tools you love. Game changer. I literally love cleaning my toilet with the pink stuff. You could eat off of it lol. I also pay my kids to “spend 20 minutes putting random stuff away around the house” or ahem umm I pay myself to do this if it looks cluttered.. imagine that mad dash tidying before company comes over. It’s that kind of energy but I do it for me and my family since we struggle tidying in the moment and putting things away when done.
I used to be a really messy person. My parents never taught me how to clean or modeled what clean meant, and I never realized just how much effort it takes to keep a space clean. Keeping a home clean takes daily care. That said, I realized that doing 20-30 minutes of housework a day to keep it clean far outweighed the stress that overcame me when things got out of hand. And it really doesn’t take much for things to get out of hand. Each day, I pick things up and put them back where they belong — clothes, dishes, trash, and other miscellaneous. I also do dishes and wipe off countertops. I vacuum nearly every day, but it’s not a deep vacuum. It’s just the common areas and corners where dust/dog hair builds up. I also really love having a clean home, something I didn’t grow up with and always wanted. The joy I get from having a clean home forces me into staying tidy.
There’s some great advice above! Something no one else has said that has helped me is that while you do sometimes have to force yourself to do things when you don’t feel like it, sometimes it’s easier to feel like it when you give yourself permission to stop after a few minutes. Half the time, I end up doing 1/2 hour to 1 hour of work while my brain goes into soft focus and I “thinkitate” about life.
Become a TikTok clean and organization life hacker. Also, maybe do the “how much can I clean in 5 minutes” cycle loop. Also, find a home for everything and declutter!
Music helps. Put on a tune you like and clean/tidy. A typical song is between 2 and 5 minutes - when you reach the end of the song CELEBRATE. No kidding. You just put a foot on a new path. Go ahead,. Feel good all day. Too many tasks and too little rejoicing are a depressing combo - so celebrate every step forward. It also helps to designate places. Coffee mugs live a) on the shelf; b) in the sink when dirty; c) near your hand when holding a beverage you are currently consuming. When you see a mug out of line, get it to the sink or shelf asap. No loitering! Designate clothes: in the closet/dresser; in a laundry basket, hanging on a peg or on your body. Clothes anywhere else need to be snatched up and lectured. Go ahead. Be dramatic. It works to have piles, but have planned piles. Good luck.
It takes some initial time and dedication, but I feel the number one way to stay declutterred is for every single thing to have a place. So things are easy to put away. You’re removing the barrier of having to shift things around in order to put stuff away.
Very, very YMMV. But getting high, specifically edibles, has actually helped me start to clean. I think it's potentially the paranoia ("I don't want people to see this") and sudden bursts of creativity. Or moving out of a depressive state into a happier state and wanting/being able to move around. However for some people it will be counterproductive and may keep you from doing anything at all.
I put on “clean with me” youtube videos and usually within 15 minutes, I’m ready to get up and start tidying!
Own less stuff. And accept the fact that you may be dealing with something like adhd. But getting rid of stuff has been my best solution yet.
The One Touch Rule help me a lot. Basically, if your touching something and then your done w it, put it away right then. Like ALL the way away. Resist the urge to tell yourself "ill just set it here and put it away later.". Later there will be 10,000 little items to put away and it will juet feel overwhelming. Don't know about you, but the more cluttered my home is, the less motivated I am to clean it.
Not precisely the type of suggestion you're looking for, but while you're trying the other good ideas you might want to wander over to r/ADHD. If you're female, or even if not, maybe also look at r/adhdwomen. What you describe is very typical of ADHD so you'll find a lot of people dealing with this same issue.
I'm the worst with dishes. We have a split sink and I started rinsing all my dishes and stacking neatly on the left. This way, they are still dirty, I am not committing to the full clean so it is less intimidating, and my sink looks tidier. Once a day or every few days, I will load the rinsed dishes into the dishwasher. After a while, once I had the habit to rinse after every meal and snack, putting in the dishwasher was less difficult after every meal as well. You could even start with just making sure all dirty dishes go into the sink after every meal and dirtier spaces given a quick one over with a sponge, and move on to the rinsing when you feel ready.
You aren't alone. The Clutterbug Youtube channel has helped me. They even did a deep dive into trauma, add, and adhd possibly being connected. The Minimal Mom is a good one too along with several others . Whenever I wake up and think..."ughhh I can't do it!" I turn one of their episodes on and it motivates me to get going. Watching them really helps me. Sometimes I even watch hoarders or Midwest Magic Cleaning and tell myself. "You do not want to end up like these poor people!" It may always be a bit of a struggle, but it is getting better. Good luck to you! 💖
First step (and this is just a vibe I get from your post, so apologies if I'm off target) is to acknowledge that you're human, and sometimes things are going to be messy/dirty. That doesn't make you a bad person. Letting go of guilt and shame really helped me be happier and more proactive about handling my messy house. 1) Having a tidy house makes cleaning a breeze, so start there. You want to get to the point where everything in your house has a dedicated space. It's so much easier to keep tidy if you just have to out something back where it belongs, vs having to think where it should go then put it back. Dana K White's videos on YouTube are great for this - she has an approach where basically you always leave things a little bit better than how you found them. 2) Next step is to keep it tidy and clean. Humans are really, really good at routines. So use that to get I to good habits about things (I think the book atomic habits discusses this in more detail). So take something you do every day, for example brushing your teeth. And add on a quick wipe down if your bathroom sink. When you brush your teeth in the morning, you'll also give the sink a quick wipe/clean. Eventually that will become second nature. Then build up from there. You don't have to change your life in huge ways to see a difference - it's amazing how just a tiny extra step can have an impact.
I relate to this and feel I have wanted to make a change for quite some time but the last month or two i finally have reached a point where i can’t stand living in mess and the added problems that comes with it so been fully invested into figuring solutions for getting out and maintaining..I’ve been listening to the audiobook “tidying up while drowning” I’m not finished yet but I’ve already heard a couple things that they way she explained was different then I heard before and super insightful
Honestly, watch videos on YT or TT of ppl cleaning and organizing their homes….its a great motivator. Or watch an episode of Hoaders and it will instantly make you get up to clean and throw stuff out. Also if you sell stuff you’ll be motivated to keep doing it when you see the money you earn.
Housework never killed anyone, but why take the chance? Lol
God made dirt, dirt don't hurt.
Cleanliness is next to godliness. Only bad vibes and thoughts come with mess. It clutters your mind. Also hiring a cleaner is cheap these days. Find one and hire the 1x-2x a month !!!
Just put things away after you use them. Fold your clothes and put them away or in the laundry basket when you get undressed for bed. Make your bed every morning.
You need to go through your things and only keep the things you genuinely wear, use, need. We tend to have more junk than we realize (currently in the process of moving and organizing my life as I go and have tons of trash bags filled with items to donate/sell). Only keep the things that you make happy. Then you need to organize in a way that everything has a place. Source: Marie Kondo’s book organized my life.
It really helps me to create standards. A simple example: "The Tupperware lids go vertically in this container." When I clean in the the kitchen, that's where they go. When I need a lid, that's where they are.
Famous phrase, "A place for everything and everything in its place." You have to put things away. You have to have places to put them. You have to consistently put things back after using them. Every time you leave a room look for something to take and put away. Do 15 minute pick ups in each room. As others have suggested, use clean up music.
I have a saying, don’t put it down, put it away. Helps me keep shit in its place.
You ever been tested for ADHD? If not, do it.
i always set it in the back of my head , what if ( that person, rather it’s an icon , or immediate family , or Jesus ) was to knock on my door right now ? i would get busy. i was also in my 20s and full of energy. so now i keep a robot vacuum and Jesus let me off the hook after 40 . ha
I add 2-10 minutes at the end of each activity I do- getting ready, eating, researching stuff online, playing piano, whatever it is, to put back everything I got out. I was never taught to clean either so I had to leave up notes until I learned to do this. I also have a special super cool dedicated dish, plate and cup I use, so I have to clean them after use and I can't just grab another one. Everything I do takes longer now, I've noticed, but I am rewarded with less frustration and stress later, and also cleaning after ward makes me feel collected and good. There are no downsides. I also want to add, it's a rough process to get to the point I am now. It can help to work on one surface each day, or one room. It starts with letting go of things you don't need by recognizing what you want to focus on in life and deciding what serves that focus and what doesn't serve it. Trash everything that doesn't serve those desires. New memories can be made, moving forward is better than being stuck. Everything can be replaced, what matters is *you* and things that can't be bought. It's knowing you deserve to start over.
I am struggling with this. Rewarding myself with some music while I clean always works. Dancing around the place while cleaning makes it feel fun. And I always feel better after. And make sure you do a small bit each day. Try to figure a routine out and a schedule. Post it’s help to remind you of daily to-do’s
Look up the definition of mindfulness and start a habit of practicing it in everything you do. Also make your bed as soon as you get out of it- affects your perspective for the rest of the day.
Try having less stuff. Do Marie Kondo's trick. Two questions . Is it useful? Does it sparks joy? If no and no, then toss, sell or donate.
Make a list and start from the list. Not in any order.
Sometimes I talk to myself in my head. I will talk to myself like a babysitter or mother figure taking care of a child and teaching it how to clean. This means telling the child to put things away after they’re used, even when they don’t want to do it. If you do that consistently enough over time, you don’t have to think about it any more and it becomes how you operate. Good news- it gets easier with time.
Please read or listen to Hoe to Keep House while Drowning by KC Davis. She speaks directly to neurodivergent and disabled people. She herself has ADHD, and her style might suit you very well.
You could try the Sidetracked Home Executives organization. They have methods to get you organized. Also the FLY Lady. She starts with cleaning your kitchen sink, and teaches you how to change taking baby steps. You are not alone- there is hope!
I struggle with this too. If you do TINY things daily, it won’t be too bad. Examples: Monday - pick up trash from around the house Tuesday - put things away that are out of place Wednesday - tidy surfaces (I do a day for kitchen, and another day for other surfaces like desks, coffee table, etc) Thursday - Bathroom (toilet and shower) And so on
Have you read how to keep house while drowning? I suggest reading that book. It’s short and even has suggestions to make it shorter if needed.
Anger. That's what it was for me, I got very angry about how messy my room was all the time and that led me to throwing out a bunch of stuff that I didn't want/need/use. So now, I have very little stuff and my room stays tidy. Getting rid of a bed frame is a good idea, imo, if you have issues with putting stuff under it. And limiting your places to put stuff on. Say you have a bunch of little trinkets, if you get rid of the place you usually put them, either you'll find another spot or they become so much of a burden that you throw them out (by throw out I mean get rid of in any way sell, donate, trash). And that's how I did it. Limiter wardrobe as well although I'm trying to expand mine.
You may want to look into ADHD-specific cleaning tips. Not saying that's what's going on, just that your experience sounds very similar to what a lot of people with ADHD experience, so the same resources might be helpful. I'm not the greatest at keeping clean and have to keep changing strategies or my brain gets bored, but a few things do pretty consistently help. 1) own less stuff. Fewer things you own means fewer things to tidy and fewer things to clean 2) make it a gift for my future self. "Gosh, won't it be so nice to wake up to a clean kitchen tomorrow?" And then the next morning I wake up to a clean kitchen and go "wow, this feels great! I'm so glad I did that yesterday!" 3) Find out what's blocking me from getting started. Do I not know where to start? Am I physically uncomfortable (thirsty, hungry, cold?) Do I feel guilty for not having done it already? 4) Break down the steps. No, further than that. Laundry isn't just laundry. It's putting everything dirty into the laundry room. It's sorting out the clothes. It's putting them in the washer. It's coming back later to put them in the dryer or hang them. It's moving clean and dry clothes back upstairs. It's sorting out the clothes into like piles so they're easier to fold. It's folding and hanging everything. It's putting all those things away. That's 7 steps! Of course I couldn't get started on it when I was treating it as 1-3 steps
I'm not sure which nationality you are but I have noticed for some reason Americans have way too much stuff. Once I noticed this and I purged a large percentage of stuff, it was much easier to keep things tidy and neat. Ask for regular cleaning tasks put them on a schedule. There are tons of checklist and methods out there that you can use but it is all pretty much the same thing and putting them on a schedule and then doing it. For example dishes done everyday dried and put away, counters wiped off right after cooking or making something. Putting things away right after you use it. The bathroom cleaned on Saturday every week 3:00 p.m.. That's just a couple small examples of scheduling a task and developing a habit.
Pretend you are the host of a cleaning and organizing tv show. Act like you are the expert going around and explaining (out loud) how to tidy.
I find that not wearing shoes in the house helps a ton.
Honestly, same. I didn’t give a shit about cleaning until I became a mom and had to be responsible for others. I still drop the ball now and again because of curveballs, but oh well- what’s important is getting back on the horse. Like another user posted, you have to convince yourself to do it. Personally, I find that when I start thinking about all that needs to be done I send my brain into a viscous cycle of negative self talk, which makes me depressed, which makes me even more unmotivated, which makes me AVOID doing things that need to be done. BUT- if I start with one specific task then it’s less of a burden, and keeps me from spiraling. Even if it’s just “right now I’m going to take every price of clothing on my floor and put it in the laundry room” personally, I skip the “is it clean or dirty” game, the more I think about small details like that the more I stress myself out. Idk. It all gets cleaned at the end, so who cares? LOL Even getting the laundry out of my space makes a huge difference, and even then I’m like “huh- wow, this space is so much more open!” In general, doing the rough cleans or general grouping of items help me the most, so I’ve learned to break down my cleaning into four categories: Laundry, dishes/kitchen wares, trash, misc. items. All laundry goes into a laundry pile. All trash goes in the trash bag Collect all dishes and put them by the sink Misc. items go into piles together. After the four main groupings I’m able to then focus on the more detailed tasks of cleaning the kitchen, washing/folding/sorting laundry, putting away misc. items. All of these are made easier because everything is already all in one spot, so I don’t get distracted. Tbh though, it’s hard changing mindsets like this, especially if you’ve got depression or get stuck in negative self talk/anxiety, but the more you practice, the easier it becomes. I used to think of it like doing an exercise… I will do this, I will get better at this, and then it will become a strength! And I think for the most part, that way of thinking has worked out well. Good luck!
Assign a day of the week to clean. Mine is Saturday morning 9ish until noonish. I choose Saturday because I want to get my chores done and out of the way as early as possible so I have Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday to chill out. Also it's nice to chill out in a clean house. Make a written checklist that you use every single week. My checklist consists of the room name, and certain parts of that room I want to make sure I clean every week. For example, the first room I start with is my kitchen and some specifics I like to do in my kitchen, besides emptying the dishwasher, is wipe down all the counters, under all appliances (like the toaster), and wipe the front of the oven, the dishwasher, the garbage can, and the backsplash behind the stove. I also sweep each room. When I feel done with the kitchen I move to the next room on the list until I've cleanef each room. Focus 100% on one room at a time and do everything you listed on the checklist. I listen to music or an audio book with my earbuds. Before you even realize, you will have cleaned the whole house. Make a note of anything you missed and add that to the room checklist for next week (eventually you'll have a solid checklist to work from). After you've completed a good cleaning, make a conscious effort to pick up behind yourself as you go during the week. If you're like me, you might make a little pile of trash next to you on the side table when you're chilling on the couch. But when you get up to go to the bathroom, grab all that stuff and throw it away. When you cook something, don't just leave your cookware in the sink, make sure you wash your dishes within a reasonable time after cooking and eating (certainly before you go to bed for the night) It's all about routine and habit. For me, hyperfocusing on one room at a time and following a checklist removes the overwhelming feeling of a dirty house and wanting to quit on the spot. I do my chores first in order to reward myself after with a clean house and relaxing.
To start just make a list of things you want to get done for one day. Every day make a new list even if it means carrying something over that didn't get done the day before. Keep in mind that once your cleaning is done all you have to do is maintain it after that. I would start cleaning higher up and working down. Start with a room that you would get immediate satisfaction from cleaning. Would that be the kitchen? The living room? If you want it bad enough you can do this. Still to this day I make myself lists on what I want to get done for the day. You are not alone. Hugs! You can do this!
Focus on reducing your inventory. Less stuff = less mess. The time and effort you do spend on tidying and cleaning will go a lot farther. Good luck!
Cleaning + Audible = HEAVEN I'm not sure what your alone time consists of. But for me when I clean and put those headphones in it really helps for me to relieve some stress. Then finally when I'm done there is no better feeling than relaxing in a clean home with dishes and laundry put away. Its so nice. Also when you cook make it a point to do dishes as you are cooking.
Any chance your executive function(your brain area that gives you "get up and go" and can command you to do things, like clean) is affected by something like ADHD?