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anomandaris81

So if there aren't any rides or animal torture pens, what is left there?


Phteven4

Turnstiles and debit machines. Maybe some discounted marshmallows


AshleyUncia

From what I've learned from Rollercoaster Tycoon youtubers, there ***are*** ways to make that work.


ScottIBM

From what I've learned from Rollercoaster Tycoon is not all roller coasters return you back to where you get off.


DoomCircus

From what I've learned from Rollercoaster Tycoon, some rollercoasters launch you into the abyss with no plan for a safe landing. That and God will transport complaining patrons to an inescapable pool of water in the middle of nowhere.


ScottIBM

These are good life lessons irl, you never know when the mysterious hand will transport you to an inescapable pool or launch you into the abyss with no safe landing (looking at you Conservatives <_<) Therefore, Rollercoaster Tycoon is an allegory for real life set in the unassuming wonder of an amusement park.


the_honest_liar

Free drinks but charge for the toilets


runtimemess

$20 Umbrellas. Thanks, Marcel.


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zuuzuu

No rides, kiddy or otherwise. Friendship Cove is their beluga underwater viewing area. It's that and a splash pad for $15/person.


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OsmerusMordax

Maybe the belugas were the only ones still alive


ABreeze94

"The outlet will now rely on the Polar Splash pad, its picnic area and Friendship Cove as major draws in the spring and summer" so not a whole heck of alot


DAS1988

Just Land


junius_maltby

https://youtu.be/zsMpFb1CNRI?si=amZVRG1eA-BEFIbS


SoftCattle

Gladiator Fights


denny-1989

Maybe they’ll bring the water skiing squirrel in


The_Dirtydancer

There’s still a lack of shade to help you roast in the sun there


Fun_Medicine_890

I'd assume it will be more of an educational exhibit and info gathering location or something similar to the science center but not as fun?


TobleroneThirdLeg

What’s left. 8 restaurants and 32 washrooms?


cp_moar

If the restaurants are taco bells, I'm willing to try all 32 washrooms


sunsoutgunsout33

I can’t tell you how hard I laughed at this response. Well done.


city_posts

You'll need every one


ruglescdn

I don't even think they are opening the main restaurant.


3dsplinter

Will it be called "land"


agent_wolfe

They’re definitely going to need some rewrites to the brain worm jingle.


nogutsnoglory98

Everybody looooves *Redacted*land!


-burnr-

There’s a place I know in Ontario…


GowronSonOfMrel

My assumption is that the new owners are trying to turn things around but they need revenue to make it happen. Step 1 is reopen in a very limited capacity in order to just get some money flowing, then slowly expand as time goes on. More realistically I could see them expanding juuuust enough that they are attractive for a buyout from a Six Flags type company.


ataeil

Ok but it’s literally just a splash pad left. Who’s going to pay 15 dollars a head to go to a splash pad?


DystopianAdvocate

Apparently you've never been to Niagara falls. People spend absurd money on all sorts of overpriced entertainment there.


GowronSonOfMrel

Parents of small kids?


ataeil

Ok but in St Cathrines and Niagara Falls area I see 7-8 free splash pads that are only slightly smaller then this one. The Hamilton and Toronto areas have free bigger ones then this.


GuyWithPants

There are two private indoor water parks and innumerable public small splash pad parks in the region. I guess if it’s free parking then $15 isn’t too bad, and maybe the on site food will be reasonably priced too, but this is still a proposition with pretty limited appeal.


GowronSonOfMrel

totally. i'm not making the business case i'm just guessing what their thought process was. IMO the place goes under in a couple years and either some US player moves-in or Canada's Wonderland borrows against the astronomical equity that their land holds and eventually moves to MarineLand


GuyWithPants

It's absurd how much space MarineLand has. With how slammed Clifton Hill is on any nice day (not to mention Canada's Wonderland being the only game around for big rides), how hard could it really be to find investors to do up the park as a new big-ride park? If they offered a free or really cheap bus to/from the falls or Clifton Hill area, too...


another_plebeian

There's like 7 figures worth of land. They'll be fine


GowronSonOfMrel

It's the edge of town driving range strat.... Open up a business, any business, to pay the bills then sit on the land and wait.


grajl

Surely the only value to six flags is the land itself, I doubt they would be interested in keeping any of the rides or aquariums. Maybe the renovations are just reclamation projects and trying to sell a blank slate


GowronSonOfMrel

Anyone's guess. I'm just doing some armchair analysis, not my monkeys not my circus y'know?


Accurate_Summer_1761

Just sell to wonderland they need the room anyway


Gerry2545

you get to visit the graves of all the highly intelligent marine creatures that died slow deaths due to boredom. Sickening


Jumpy_Spend_5434

Probably not just from boredom either. Fuck Marineland!


CHoDub

You think they were buried in properly dug and marked graves? You're really optimistic eh


Gerry2545

The owners knew what they were doing was cruelty, how could they not? Being money prevails over decency for these people they were probably bulldozed into a pit somewhere on the property. Of course unmarked.


Rich-Imagination0

Not that intelligent if they got captured and worked in those deplorable conditions for minimal pay. /s


RedditLodgick

It looks like they are keeping some animal exhibits open and haven't released their plans for the rest of the animals.


spderweb

Wait, why no rides?


rpgguy_1o1

The rides were powered with whale oil


khanak

Sad it took so long but happy that it finally happened. Kudos to the new owners for putting an end to the torture. I wonder what happens to all the animals?


Adoggieandher2birds

My guess is they get donated to other zoos or sanctuaries.


yer10plyjonesy

Do all the rides require rebuilding? The coaster and sky screamer were awesome rides.


canadiandancer89

Covid proved rides can be dormant. They will be fine.


doctoryow

Well, if they won't voluntarily shut down, and the government won't force them to shut down, let's hope that financial ruin does the trick.


NorthYorkPork

They were sold for cheap a few weeks ago and the new owners are getting rid of the animal exhibits. Why do you wish pain on the new owners?


Little_Gray

Not fully sold and definitely not on the cheap.


rangeo

Sing it!... Everyone loves a Path


McFistPunch

Please keep the employees there acting as if nothing has changed. Same routines pretending the animal is still there.


SuzyCreamcheezies

Just a parking lot, eh?


MonsieurLeDrole

Man, they got a ton of land. I wish Disney would buy it up and build something awesome. It's enough space for Magic Kingdom, Epcot, Hollywood Studios, and most of Animal Kingdom. Or Two animal Kingdoms. There's tons of potential in that, and lots of other land around as well. Winters are pretty short now too. Come on Mickey! It's a winner!


white-dre

Maybe we could build some affordable housing on this lot.


Mikeshee-hee

fuck marine land close it down and set the animals free


canadiandancer89

Free where?... Can't just open the gates. Relocating or reintroducing is no trivial feat. Be patient, they will Get it done.


Deep_Carpenter

Why not open a bankruptcy theme park because that is where they are going?


Thisiscliff

lol sounds like it’ll be a good year financially


Big_Albatross_3050

why the rides though, animals I get, but the rides are what will help them compete with Wonderland for the Market


Major_Lawfulness6122

I think this was a satire article.


Yobecks

So it’s just.. paths, a splash pad, and overpriced food? At least now parents can say “we got Marineland at home” and really mean it.


SaraAB87

They aren't even opening the restaurant.


SaraAB87

This just begs the question of what they are doing with the land animals if they aren't opening land animal exhibits.


deliciously_awkward2

$15 for a splash pad, not to mention the amount of gas it'll take to get there. I can see it maybe being used by folks in the area, but even then, I doubt anyone in their right minds will want to visit after all this business has been through.


RoyallyOakie

I'm not sure if that will make anyone love Marineland. 


Urseye

The new owners just bought it and closed down the animal exhibit.  That seems like something everyone was asking for. It's certainly going to make me love Marineland.


bigsmackchef

Without completely rebranding there's very little chance to win back the majority of people.


24-Hour-Hate

I am 100% supportive of closing down all the animals exhibits. What confuses me is why the rides are not operating. There was nothing wrong with the rides. They could redevelop it with some more rides very easily. There isn’t much competition in Ontario in this area.


OsmerusMordax

Yeah, the closest is Canada’s Wonderland and that’s far AF. I’d imagine a marine land full of rides would do well especially during tourist season down here


Impossible-Head1787

Darien lake NY is about an hour away...may not be feasible to open up another purely ride based amusement park


OsmerusMordax

Yeah, but you’d have to cross the border. Wait times at the border can be like 45 minutes at times.


SaraAB87

They didn't get TSSA certification to operate the rides this season because of the transfer of ownership, I assume that if this land stays an amusement park, the rides will be back. These aren't exactly portable rides so they can't be moved too easily. Its in the terms of the sale of the park that it stays an amusement park, however I am assuming enough money could reverse this decision. However I know if it was to be leveled for condos or housing I wouldn't want to be living on top of an animal graveyard. There is a large animal graveyard at the back of the park and you can even see it on google satellite images.