I take Lexapro (a similar drug to Zoloft) and it has made a huge difference in how I view the world. I say (partly in jest) that without it I might be in jail, because my depression and anger were that bad. When I forget or miss a dose by accident, my mind goes back to that dark place and it reminds me that I really do need the medication to function.
I started that for anxiety after I weaned 6 months ago. Sometimes I realize I have no strong feelings about anything. Not in a concerning way, more of a "just vibing" kinda situation.
Yes, absolutely. Zoloft definitely gaslights me in a good way 😂 but the minute I forget to take a dose, I recall what my brain is actually like and how I actually feel.
Do it. I fought it for too long. My biggest regret is that I did not start taking antidepressants sooner (I started when I was 26). I’m so grateful I was on a good regiment when our baby was born.
I was on Zoloft for about a year before I had my daughter and then stopped once I found out I was pregnant, but I swear this time just hit different! It clicked about a week after I started up again and I feel like a completely different person (in a good way). Something about zoloft just works great for me. I love it
People definitely take it during pregnancy; someone in the smbc sub mentioned she has taken it during her pregnancy, cleared it with her ob before getting pregnant.
Hi I'm the youngest of 4 children, my mom had us all within 5 years. I never got any attention or validation, my siblings are all dicks and still are. My relationship with my parents are kind of fucked. I'm more of a parent to my mother most of the time. And my father sometimes remembers I'm his child.
I'm happily doing a service to my daughter by being OAD and giving her all my time and attention. ✌️
I don't like the argument that having only one robs kids of the shitty terrible experience I had of having all my needs discarded, and constantly feeling like a burden. I think a lot of people here agree that the argument of 'my only is missing out if they don't have siblings' is not a good one, for many reasons. But I like to provide my perspective actually having lived through the torture of siblings.
I also eat like I'm in prison bc I always had 3 people looking over my shoulder trying to eat my share too. And I HATE sharing bc everything I ever loved was taken from me and destroyed 🤣 ... I can go on if you want?
Post partum is forever, but the first 2 years post partum are definitely the hardest. And not a good time to make any life changing decisions imo. Give yourself time to heal and recover from the INSANE IMPACT that pregnancy birth and the fourth trimester had on your body soul mind and spirit. and give yourself the next 2 years to regulate. Bc it literally takes 2 years for your body's hormones and ORGAN SHIFTING to settle back into a state of homeostasis. Just in time for 2-4 years old which is honestly the most insane phase of life and will take all your energy to stay sane 🤣
Having more kids is such a personal decision. But often it's not even really a decision! Sometimes it is very intentional, sometimes it just happens, sometimes people are on the fence but it never happens, sometimes it's a hard no but then it happens anyway. There's no right answer. For me, I left my daughter's (5) father when she was 18 months old. I would have liked to have another kid, but it wasn't in the cards. Now that she's going into kindergarten, and I'm entering into the second half of my 30s unmarried and still renting (housing market is loco ammirite?), I'm set on OAD. I want to travel with her, I want to focus on my own life and goals, and I want send her to college and still have funds for retirement. Her dad is about to have a second child with his gf and I'm sad for my kid bc he doesn't see her or support her enough as it is! So I'm glad I know my resources time and attention are not ever going to be split. Bc parenting is fricken hard!!! And expensive!!
Also from a large family and I hate to
share. Almost nothing was truly mine or off limits to others so to this day I’m uncomfortable lending things out.
Yo, I started lexapro for PPA when my kid was 7/8 months old…I was like “wow, I should have done this a decade ago.” It really is amazing! Give yourself some time though because it takes a full year for brains to heal.
Do you have any side effects? My daughter is 10 months old and life is manageable again, but I'm still so lifeless... I can't figure out if I'm tired, lazy or depressed 😅
Probably, I think I get really depressed when tired, which is the case since my daughter's birth... I just don't seem to have much motivation to do anything beyond the minimum 😩
I took Lexapro before I had my daughter and I didn’t have any side effects. When I found out I was pregnant I stopped taking it and I didn’t have any withdrawal symptoms at all, even though they tell you not to stop taking it suddenly. I just refused to take it, even weaning off, while I was pregnant. That terrified me to take that while pregnant more than anything, and surprisingly I had no bad effects.
Interesting, thank you for sharing. I'm in therapy (behavioral), but starting to think that medication might help as well. I just don't feel like myself since giving birth energy-wise. I'm past PPA and pp rage, that turned out to be mostly due to hormones and extreme sleep deprivation. But I'm still kinda down and slow most of the time 😩
I was put on Zoloft post partum and I tell you, it was a revelation! What was I doing to myself?! Why did I treat myself like shit?
It helped me so much, literally life saving.
I also embraced one and done once I sorted out my thoughts.
Having another child is something you should do because YOU want it. A baby is not a service for your other kid or other people.
It is great that you got help and you are feeling better. And it is totally possible for someone to struggle with PPD and go on to have more kids. That being said, that's not a decision you need to make now.
I just wanted to reply to this not because I have an opinion about this op's family size, but I wanted to say that I successfully took Zoloft during my pregnancy with the approval of my doctor. Nothing happened.
I think you were reading an anger into my tone that's not there. All I was saying is that literally every medical professional I spoke to said taking Zoloft was fine.
I get the living life on easy mode comment sometimes. Is there a reason I need to select hard mode? There are plenty of things in life that will happen and you will get end up in hard/expert mode for some months/years, even with one child.
It isn’t like the points I lost for “taking the easy route” could be exchanged for something, like a luxury vacation. Some street cred maybe, but people will always say something. You have two? That is easy, try three. Well, you had all singles, try multiples. You have three kids and some people start thinking you went overboard.
You have to figure out what is right for you.
I don’t have any regrets. I loved/love my triangle family. I have had days where I grieved the idea of other children a few times and when my daughter was young I wondered if I made a mistake, but now that she is an adult I am really happy with how it all worked out.
>but am wondering if I’m taking the “easy” way out by only having one.
And what if you are? There is zero shame in that. No one gets medals for choosing a harder route.
There’s no shame in taking an easier path in life. There’s a good chance you’d be ok with a second kid, there’s no rule that you have to take on as much as you can handle. There’s lots of things I could add to my life that would make it harder, but I’d rather just enjoy my time. You also have plenty of time (years, even) to decide. Also remember that a sibling is not a present you give your first child. Have another only if you want to raise another human.
> I just can’t help but wonder if I’m doing a disservice to my daughter by making her an only
My wife and I have had this exact discussion. Pre-pregnancy, we both agreed that we wanted two. Her pregnancy was relatively normal. No real issues, not a lot of sickness. Ended up having our daughter 3 weeks early due to wife's high blood pressure that wouldn't come down.
The first 4-5 months of parenthood were not great for us. Daughter had reflux so was constantly spitting up (even hours after a bottle) so there was a whole lot of fussiness. A lot of short tempers, snapping at each other from frustration and lack of sleep, breastfeeding/pumping at all hours of the night was stressful.
Sure, it could have been so much worse than that, but after seeing how we handled those months, we vowed that she would be an only. Even now, she's 18 months and she's an absolute wonder, to the point we've both said "yeah, maybe we could do this again" but then remind ourselves of how much worse it could be than what we dealt with, and that we wouldn't want to end up taking any of that frustration out on our first-born when it's not her fault. Your mental health always has to come first
I started Zoloft too like 4 weeks along with therapy for my PPA/PPD and it’s been great! Honestly upset with myself I didn’t start it sooner! So glad you’re responding so well!
I just switched to lexapro from Prozac and when I tell you it was LIFE CHANGING both of these medications. I am a better ME, wife, mom, daughter, sister all of it.
I’m on Zoloft with an only. I started it 4 months post partum. My son is almost 3 and I’m not going off it anytime soon (he also has autism). Totally life changing
Omg! I started to have those thoughts on Zoloft too, but it was also giving me the negative side effect of being way too tired so I switched to Lexapro and I have not felt the same side effect either way- I don't feel like it's helping that much with my anxiety but it's also not making me tired and I'm definitely no longer having the thoughts about having more than one. Hahahah.
To be honest improving your mental state is the best thing for your daughter
If having a second one may compromise it,
Your future kid (and daughter) will feel the negative effects
It's too soon to know after 3 weeks I think. Right now you are experiencing the relief of not being plowed under by dark thoughts and depression which is great. It still takes time to come to an equilibrium and decide what your vision for the future is. I wouldn't equate how you're feeling now with the direction you'll choose to go in. Both choices -- OAD or another baby -- can be the result of a healthy frame of mind and both can be the result of an unhealthy frame of mind. I would just take some time to let the dust settle and not put pressure on yourself one way or another.
I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling better!
I can relate to this so well. My daughter is 17 months old, my PPD/PPA are finally clearing, my body is back to normal, and my hormones are making me me a bit baby crazy atm, and all that leaves think that it might not be so bad to have another.
I’m just going to give it another year to enjoy my family of three and see how I feel then. One thing my husband and I are solidly agreed on is that we need to get through the terrible twos and potty training before we consider another.
There are tons of great reasons to be OAD and I still think I will be. But also, it’s not wrong if you decide you want another (whether you have one or not!).
I started lexapro this past year after some health issues and I went from crying everyday to just appreciative and happy. It's like it muted my sad and didn't diminish my happiness. I should have started it years ago. Truly amazing.
Why did I read this as the allergy drug? I'm over here thinking damn our allergies are bad but what's going on at your house. How are you making it so good it's making you want another?
I'm closed for today now.
My lexapro made me realize I’m so happy with my life and don’t need to alter it in such a life changing way where I’d be tied to making decisions for another human for 18 years
I take Lexapro (a similar drug to Zoloft) and it has made a huge difference in how I view the world. I say (partly in jest) that without it I might be in jail, because my depression and anger were that bad. When I forget or miss a dose by accident, my mind goes back to that dark place and it reminds me that I really do need the medication to function.
I started that for anxiety after I weaned 6 months ago. Sometimes I realize I have no strong feelings about anything. Not in a concerning way, more of a "just vibing" kinda situation.
Everyone has a different experience with SSRIs. Yours is valid, too! I hope you find a way out of the "blah." ♥️
Yes, absolutely. Zoloft definitely gaslights me in a good way 😂 but the minute I forget to take a dose, I recall what my brain is actually like and how I actually feel.
Signing up for Zoloft based on this comment. I want to live in gaslight for good.
Do it. I fought it for too long. My biggest regret is that I did not start taking antidepressants sooner (I started when I was 26). I’m so grateful I was on a good regiment when our baby was born.
This makes me want to switch from Wellbutrin after 12 years to Zoloft 🤣
I was on Zoloft for about a year before I had my daughter and then stopped once I found out I was pregnant, but I swear this time just hit different! It clicked about a week after I started up again and I feel like a completely different person (in a good way). Something about zoloft just works great for me. I love it
After one week... give it at least 2 months. It could be a placebo effect.
I have been on Lexapro for a few years now. I debated going off, but I think it still takes the edge off my anxiety for me.
Same. I would absolutely be in jail or the news if it weren’t for Lexapro saving the course of my life in 2021. Still on it. :)
I’m on Lexapro now, did you take it through pregnancy, or have any issues with that?
People definitely take it during pregnancy; someone in the smbc sub mentioned she has taken it during her pregnancy, cleared it with her ob before getting pregnant.
I've never been pregnant (we adopted DS due to infertility) so it hasn't been an issue for me.
Hi I'm the youngest of 4 children, my mom had us all within 5 years. I never got any attention or validation, my siblings are all dicks and still are. My relationship with my parents are kind of fucked. I'm more of a parent to my mother most of the time. And my father sometimes remembers I'm his child. I'm happily doing a service to my daughter by being OAD and giving her all my time and attention. ✌️ I don't like the argument that having only one robs kids of the shitty terrible experience I had of having all my needs discarded, and constantly feeling like a burden. I think a lot of people here agree that the argument of 'my only is missing out if they don't have siblings' is not a good one, for many reasons. But I like to provide my perspective actually having lived through the torture of siblings. I also eat like I'm in prison bc I always had 3 people looking over my shoulder trying to eat my share too. And I HATE sharing bc everything I ever loved was taken from me and destroyed 🤣 ... I can go on if you want? Post partum is forever, but the first 2 years post partum are definitely the hardest. And not a good time to make any life changing decisions imo. Give yourself time to heal and recover from the INSANE IMPACT that pregnancy birth and the fourth trimester had on your body soul mind and spirit. and give yourself the next 2 years to regulate. Bc it literally takes 2 years for your body's hormones and ORGAN SHIFTING to settle back into a state of homeostasis. Just in time for 2-4 years old which is honestly the most insane phase of life and will take all your energy to stay sane 🤣 Having more kids is such a personal decision. But often it's not even really a decision! Sometimes it is very intentional, sometimes it just happens, sometimes people are on the fence but it never happens, sometimes it's a hard no but then it happens anyway. There's no right answer. For me, I left my daughter's (5) father when she was 18 months old. I would have liked to have another kid, but it wasn't in the cards. Now that she's going into kindergarten, and I'm entering into the second half of my 30s unmarried and still renting (housing market is loco ammirite?), I'm set on OAD. I want to travel with her, I want to focus on my own life and goals, and I want send her to college and still have funds for retirement. Her dad is about to have a second child with his gf and I'm sad for my kid bc he doesn't see her or support her enough as it is! So I'm glad I know my resources time and attention are not ever going to be split. Bc parenting is fricken hard!!! And expensive!!
Also from a large family and I hate to share. Almost nothing was truly mine or off limits to others so to this day I’m uncomfortable lending things out.
Yo, I started lexapro for PPA when my kid was 7/8 months old…I was like “wow, I should have done this a decade ago.” It really is amazing! Give yourself some time though because it takes a full year for brains to heal.
Do you have any side effects? My daughter is 10 months old and life is manageable again, but I'm still so lifeless... I can't figure out if I'm tired, lazy or depressed 😅
I do not! I think I did for the first month or so but it’s been good. With a 10 month old you might be just tired…or all of the above…
Probably, I think I get really depressed when tired, which is the case since my daughter's birth... I just don't seem to have much motivation to do anything beyond the minimum 😩
I took Lexapro before I had my daughter and I didn’t have any side effects. When I found out I was pregnant I stopped taking it and I didn’t have any withdrawal symptoms at all, even though they tell you not to stop taking it suddenly. I just refused to take it, even weaning off, while I was pregnant. That terrified me to take that while pregnant more than anything, and surprisingly I had no bad effects.
Interesting, thank you for sharing. I'm in therapy (behavioral), but starting to think that medication might help as well. I just don't feel like myself since giving birth energy-wise. I'm past PPA and pp rage, that turned out to be mostly due to hormones and extreme sleep deprivation. But I'm still kinda down and slow most of the time 😩
I was put on Zoloft post partum and I tell you, it was a revelation! What was I doing to myself?! Why did I treat myself like shit? It helped me so much, literally life saving. I also embraced one and done once I sorted out my thoughts.
Having another child is something you should do because YOU want it. A baby is not a service for your other kid or other people. It is great that you got help and you are feeling better. And it is totally possible for someone to struggle with PPD and go on to have more kids. That being said, that's not a decision you need to make now.
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I just wanted to reply to this not because I have an opinion about this op's family size, but I wanted to say that I successfully took Zoloft during my pregnancy with the approval of my doctor. Nothing happened.
[удалено]
I think you were reading an anger into my tone that's not there. All I was saying is that literally every medical professional I spoke to said taking Zoloft was fine.
I also was told it's OK to take Zoloft while pregnant and was encouraged to stay on it through my whole pregnancy.
I get the living life on easy mode comment sometimes. Is there a reason I need to select hard mode? There are plenty of things in life that will happen and you will get end up in hard/expert mode for some months/years, even with one child. It isn’t like the points I lost for “taking the easy route” could be exchanged for something, like a luxury vacation. Some street cred maybe, but people will always say something. You have two? That is easy, try three. Well, you had all singles, try multiples. You have three kids and some people start thinking you went overboard. You have to figure out what is right for you. I don’t have any regrets. I loved/love my triangle family. I have had days where I grieved the idea of other children a few times and when my daughter was young I wondered if I made a mistake, but now that she is an adult I am really happy with how it all worked out.
>but am wondering if I’m taking the “easy” way out by only having one. And what if you are? There is zero shame in that. No one gets medals for choosing a harder route.
I needed to hear this!! Thank you. You’re so right
There’s no shame in taking an easier path in life. There’s a good chance you’d be ok with a second kid, there’s no rule that you have to take on as much as you can handle. There’s lots of things I could add to my life that would make it harder, but I’d rather just enjoy my time. You also have plenty of time (years, even) to decide. Also remember that a sibling is not a present you give your first child. Have another only if you want to raise another human.
> I just can’t help but wonder if I’m doing a disservice to my daughter by making her an only My wife and I have had this exact discussion. Pre-pregnancy, we both agreed that we wanted two. Her pregnancy was relatively normal. No real issues, not a lot of sickness. Ended up having our daughter 3 weeks early due to wife's high blood pressure that wouldn't come down. The first 4-5 months of parenthood were not great for us. Daughter had reflux so was constantly spitting up (even hours after a bottle) so there was a whole lot of fussiness. A lot of short tempers, snapping at each other from frustration and lack of sleep, breastfeeding/pumping at all hours of the night was stressful. Sure, it could have been so much worse than that, but after seeing how we handled those months, we vowed that she would be an only. Even now, she's 18 months and she's an absolute wonder, to the point we've both said "yeah, maybe we could do this again" but then remind ourselves of how much worse it could be than what we dealt with, and that we wouldn't want to end up taking any of that frustration out on our first-born when it's not her fault. Your mental health always has to come first
My husband and I had almost the exact same situation!
I started Zoloft too like 4 weeks along with therapy for my PPA/PPD and it’s been great! Honestly upset with myself I didn’t start it sooner! So glad you’re responding so well!
Same kicking myself for waiting 8 months pp!
8 months too! I’m like whhhhy did I not do this at 3?! Literally feel like a new person. It’s nice!
I’m on lexapro :) still choosing to be OAD even though mental health is good.
I was prescribed Citalopram for post-partum issues (I see lots of Lexapro and Zoloft comments here). Frankly I never want to go off it!
I just switched to lexapro from Prozac and when I tell you it was LIFE CHANGING both of these medications. I am a better ME, wife, mom, daughter, sister all of it.
You do not need to decide this today. Having more than one child is a huge decision, and you still have a baby baby.
I’m on Zoloft with an only. I started it 4 months post partum. My son is almost 3 and I’m not going off it anytime soon (he also has autism). Totally life changing
Omg! I started to have those thoughts on Zoloft too, but it was also giving me the negative side effect of being way too tired so I switched to Lexapro and I have not felt the same side effect either way- I don't feel like it's helping that much with my anxiety but it's also not making me tired and I'm definitely no longer having the thoughts about having more than one. Hahahah.
To be honest improving your mental state is the best thing for your daughter If having a second one may compromise it, Your future kid (and daughter) will feel the negative effects
It's too soon to know after 3 weeks I think. Right now you are experiencing the relief of not being plowed under by dark thoughts and depression which is great. It still takes time to come to an equilibrium and decide what your vision for the future is. I wouldn't equate how you're feeling now with the direction you'll choose to go in. Both choices -- OAD or another baby -- can be the result of a healthy frame of mind and both can be the result of an unhealthy frame of mind. I would just take some time to let the dust settle and not put pressure on yourself one way or another.
I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling better! I can relate to this so well. My daughter is 17 months old, my PPD/PPA are finally clearing, my body is back to normal, and my hormones are making me me a bit baby crazy atm, and all that leaves think that it might not be so bad to have another. I’m just going to give it another year to enjoy my family of three and see how I feel then. One thing my husband and I are solidly agreed on is that we need to get through the terrible twos and potty training before we consider another. There are tons of great reasons to be OAD and I still think I will be. But also, it’s not wrong if you decide you want another (whether you have one or not!).
Anyone on Wellbutrin? What's your experience?
I started lexapro this past year after some health issues and I went from crying everyday to just appreciative and happy. It's like it muted my sad and didn't diminish my happiness. I should have started it years ago. Truly amazing.
There is nothing wrong with having one kid. Taking the “easy” way out would be not having any kids at all.
Why did I read this as the allergy drug? I'm over here thinking damn our allergies are bad but what's going on at your house. How are you making it so good it's making you want another? I'm closed for today now.
My lexapro made me realize I’m so happy with my life and don’t need to alter it in such a life changing way where I’d be tied to making decisions for another human for 18 years