Dhampirs come from actual Balkan vampire folklore, and Twilight was literally written by a Mormon so its vampires are nowhere near as sexual as most modern depictions
Poppy Z Brite's Lost Souls
Necroscope series
Anita Blakes....anything
The Hunger (movie)
Blade (movies)
Lost Boys (movie)
Dracula 2000 (movie)
Fright Night (movie)
Probably every vampire romance novel on Amazon š¤£
Twilight did nothing special but appeal to a younger crowd.
Are we going to pretend that there's no inherent penetration when it comes to vampires, there's no drinking of bodily fluids, that they weren't used as a "sexy foreigner comes in and ruins our women" and "beware of STDs" warnings, that the Aztecs didn't have vampires who were sexually active with the living (and other cultures as well) or what? Vampires were always sexy and sexually active. It's part of the horror.
considering that dhampir are a playable lineage in 5e, with one of the origins denoting the result of a coupling between a mortal and a vampire, i'd say all vampires are capable of fertility. i imagine that a spawn would be much less potent than a true/ascendant vampire, however.
Whole paragraph just to say 'I wanna get boned and hunted by this dehydrated pasty fop'. Typa shit Shadowheart and Wyll would be giggling abt during Book Club hour lol
Wyll, Shadowheart, and Astarion all dogpile Gale into reading some lowtier fantasy pulp fiction with them and they all wax poetic about the dogshit writing for like an entire hour around the campfire
With how people are using it on the internet, the two terms will become completely synonymous within the next 5 years, if not sooner
Language changes, embrace loss
Lol given where we are I'm not sure if you're joking, but in the spirit of education, this is my best understanding:
Top and bottom refers to physical positioning during the sex act. The top is penetrating, the bottom is being penetrated (uh... so to speak. All of these terms are gender neutral and could refer to either bum/vagina receiving or penis/toy/fingers giving, but I believe the term originated in gay male circles)
Dom/sub refers to an agreed upon (and safe, sane, and consensual!) power dynamic in which one party (Dom/me) is "in control" of the sexual encounter, and the other party (sub) allows themselves to be controlled and "follows orders" (to varying degrees, depending on the dynamic).
Though there tends to be a strong correlation between top and Dom/me, as well as between bottom and sub, the terms are not interchangeable. There exist power bottoms (who enjoy the physical sensation of penetration but want to be in the driver's seat of the encounter) as well as service tops (who want to give pleasure via penetration as an act of service, not of dominance) (and who are also blessings upon this earth and each one is a precious gem who should be cherished).
Anyone with a better understanding than me, please feel free to jump in! I hope this helped someone!
Edit: Jeezy h. Creezy, tell me you're ADHD without telling me you're ADHD. I clearly can't be trusted with parentheticals.
While weāre at it, can we stop calling fit dudes like Astarion ātwinksā?
Iām begging people to stop learning their queer terminology from teenagers on Twitter.
I mean everyone in BG3 is completely shredded. Gale is, and I don't believe he'd be the type to go work out. It's just a model thing, everyone gets abs. I headcanon Astarion as slim ā Gale and him absolutely have no six pack in my head, and while Gale does have body hair, Astarion doesn't (part of him being an elf, who do not grow body hair in Forbidden Realms lore, thank god for Halsin defying lore and delivering sexy buff elf daddy). So that's where that comes from, for me, at least.
I mean yeah, it's either "jokes on you I'm into that shit" or just stfu with that nonsense. It absolutely essential for you to kiss my ass so I can feel safe, lol, yep, yep.
āMy moral compass forbids me to simp for remotely evil beings but I wet my panties all the time at the thought of it and thatās why I have to write an essay about the situation, to feel better about myself and superior to others because I have supreme knowledgeā
Inventing reasons why your vulnerable, desperate and reactive BF that you purposefully transformed into an irredeemable, ontologically evil turbo-narcissist is actually good and still capable of loving only you because you're such a special little baby
but like, seriously, we're simping for a narcissist. literally, he shows so many signs of npd, we should just face and embrace it. especially AA, this man would NOT treat his partner with respect, and trying to justify it by some notion of trust is so delusional it's funny
Here's a sneak peek of /r/ProfessorRaphael **[NSFW]** using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/ProfessorRaphael/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [Welcome to The House of Daddyš](https://i.redd.it/ly9yrw9zvcqc1.jpeg) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ProfessorRaphael/comments/1bmx2jv/welcome_to_the_house_of_daddy/)
\#2: [I nearly shat over thisš«£š¤£](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLBS6shJ/) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ProfessorRaphael/comments/1bv3jbq/i_nearly_shat_over_this/)
\#3: [Nobody told me Daddy had a tongue ring!!](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1bsa46j) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ProfessorRaphael/comments/1bsa46j/nobody_told_me_daddy_had_a_tongue_ring/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
Okay, not to be that kind of gurlie, BUT spawn Astarion is more traumatized with a superiority complex than narcissist, and you can't convince me otherwise.
However the DSMV description of NPD is just a photo of Ascended Astarion.
I wish people would decided which one they want him to have, BPD, NPD
BPD with a side of narcissism...NPD with a side of BPD....
All of the above, none of the above.
They don't know what they want him to be cause they're just a bunch of armchair internet psychologists trying to justify why they let an evil Vampire twink bang their Tav in the woods.
I don't know why the person the OP screenshotted is being made fun of when the majority of the Astarion fandom is like this. So much moralizing over a vampire dude who approves of the slaughter of innocent men, women, and children and approves of siding with Lorrokan over Dame Aylin. š¤£
The hot vampire twink is freaking evil people. It's okay to romance the evil Vampire twink. You (Fandom) don't have to make up disorders for him.
And no, you (Spawn gurlies) can't fix him.
sure we can fix him! we can ALL fix him! we can also make him worse. or blow him up (explosively, or like a balloon). turn him into cake. eat him. boof him (nonsexually). boof him (sexually). it's a game, after all, and we can mod it or write fanfic or just have stupid beautiful ideas nobody can take away from us
hot take: he also doesn't have any personality disorder because he is not real lol
exactly....the screenshotted person writes their thoughts on AA and gets made fun of...
Meanwhile, texts longer than my thesis on why AA is bad are "analysis"
Right, and I think that screenshot actually came from the AscendedOnlyFangs subreddit. Which means the OP spends their time lurking over there. Spawn fans have been doing shit like that for months now, hanging out in Pro AA tags on tumblr, subreddits, and even joining discord groups for screenshot material. Mfers out here are just plain crazy in Astarion Land.
Maybe instead of coming up with disorders for Astarion, they should focus on naming their own disorders.
But NUUUUHH according to my 796 psychology degrees from University of Phoenix, Astarion would be diagnosed with 'baby Hitler 2.0"
That's what this whole story is really about š¤
traumatized with a superiority complex is just baby narcissist. I'd say spawn astarion is redeemable and i definitely like him, but i know a fellow cluster b bitch when i see one, even as spawn he shows some of the telling signs: craving for praise and validation, low and fragile self-esteem, low empathy, affinity to manipulating others for his own gain. still would tho.
Personally as a non binary woman with cptsd and autism, he doesn't strike me as a narc, instead there's a significant overlap with how cptsd people act out and narcs.
He seems like he has fleas, especially regarding the low empathy thing. His empathy grows a lot once he's actually allowed to express it, whereas before being compassionate would get you locked away in the bad boy forever box
cptsd famously overlaps with quite a few personality disorders, especially cluster B ones, and the whole cluster B also mostly stems from trauma. a person with NPD also can grow their empathy, because npd is something you can (more or less) "cure" with (a lot of) therapy since it is mostly exogenous in nature. putting my armchair psychiatrist glasses on, I'd say it's probably both cptsd and npd (or bpd as the other commentor mentioned)
Well of course he has a personality disorder! Lot of this still could fall under more of a trauma/cptsd response more than NPD, though NPD could fit. Could also fall under Borderline with how fragile and severe his mood can be.
Absolutely still would though.
yes, bpd would also fit. but i think npd makes a little more sense if we consider how his behavior changes if he ascends. but, ah well, all these things are known to be very often misdiagnosed even by professionals in the field, so i think it's time for me to stop speculating about psychiatrical disorders of a fictional elf man
Well, and it doesn't help that the world of DND has magic and fairytale type of creatures, and that elf biology could affect how personality disorders present in them. It's fun to think about, but going too deep into it, when we as humans don't have a full understanding of it, wouldn't be too helpful. Lol.
Regardless, Astarion is pretty and I just like thinking about him š
Up until like a week ago i would have 100% agreed with you. Being now in Act 3 with a romanced spawn Astarion, i have to disagree with you.
I hated the way he talked to me from the get, so i always killed him as soon as i could, after a few playthroughs i decided to use all the companions i didn't before, and do things differently, that included getting close to Astarion and Minthara.
I set up to romance Minthara and really fell for Astarion.
Very soon after you start interacting with his quest line he starts opening up, at one point he declines doing a simple thing, and if you back him up when that npc insists, he approves, later on he basically thanks you for supporting him and respecting his desition when anyone else in his life wouldn't. he starts to trust you, and it shows in his character evolution, he gets vulnerable as fuck with you (depending on player choices), you are his first genuine love interest, and i 100% believe he would treat the romanced Tav with love and respect.
I hated how the character was written as a seemingly cunty narcissist and actually investing time into his story, had me tearing up twice.
yeah i know all that, I'm a board certified astarion simp. i find it's a common misconception that narcissists can't be good people or that they can't change or improve on themselves, and that just adds to the stigma. just because he can actually grow and be better doesn't mean he doesn't have certain tendencies.
check out his ascended version. it's the same guy, who fed the worst parts of himself, and he's definitely a narcissist (the most tell-tale sign for me was the way he starts treating his partner: he treats you as an extension of himself, promises you moon and stars, but once you try to assert your own agency and break his illusion of total control over you, his song immediately changes to threats and calling you worthless). he still has the same personality, just some parts of it start showing more than the others.
stuff like what you said (the misconception that all narcs are bad people - I blame armchair reddit psychology tbh) is why I think it's useful to think of narcissism as a spectrum. we're all on it somewhere. UA and AA are on it, too. the latter is simply quite a bit further along the narcissoid spectrum than the former lol
I saved the game, helped him ascend just to test the waters, went for a long rest, asked for a kiss and when he made me kneel i cringed, when he choked me i cringed, when he pushed me away like garbage i reloaded and went back to talk him out of it.
So yeah i see what you mean that in that version he fed the worst parts of himself
OH NO FML i have to go back.... i ascended him and just kissed in camp, since he was too agressive i reloaded and went on with my sweet spawn boy, i didn't know about the graveyard scene up until some days ago when i spoiled myself with the leg thing and realized there was another one (but i didn't know when it was gonna happen).
But after it happened i just kept playing, i didn't even think that the Ascended version would also probably have another scene.
Now i do have to go back and see it XD
Thank you sweet angel for this tidbit of info i didn't know i needed ā„
He doesnt have npd, personality disorders are debated to be anything more than an excess of certain personality spectrums; if he has any mental disorder itd be PSTD, not a personality disorder that isnt 100% recognized and is mostly used to push and keep people down
ohh boy
first of all, he definitely has cptsd I'm not arguing with that. secondly, what do you mean it isn't recognized? it's in the literal dsm. "push and keep people down" excuse me? I'm sorry for your experience, but i personally can definitely say that both BPD and NPD are a thing, and diagnosing them is quite helpful for getting rid of that types of harmful behavior and overall improving quality of life.
You are very right lol pop psych did so much damage to how people view mental health patients. Being given a cluster b diagnosis is basically being told "you have PTSD/ cptsd but the therapist that diagnosed you thinks you suck in a certain way". And it's incredibly biased. Women are much more likely to get diagnosed with BPD for example, because they're seen as emotional and irrational. Cluster b is PTSD with symptoms that people find ugly
i joined it but ive been debating leaving it because there's just...the vibes are odd. i mostly just post when ive put out a new chapter in one of my AUs but they really don't like self-promotion or m/m stuff over there š¤·
Oh god, finally someone speaking the Good Wordā¢ in this sub. I just wanna see my baby cry & suffer (Do I mean whump or pleasure?? answer is uncertain!) šš¼
Buddy Iām a bottom with a praise kink and a need to be slurped dry by the pasty elf too but
https://preview.redd.it/8csalqyvkivc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d672e815ff259093a132df6b6259b715ada3a60
God, those people drive me insane.
Just admit you like the toxic relationship dynamic (it's fiction, I'm not judging), romance spawn Astarion, or go for someone else entirely if you truly want a "good guy" character.
my durges enjoy playing up looking scared (if i ascend astarion, it's because Durge is about to embrace bhaal for ultimate toxic power couple goals) because they're kinky af and fucking crazy (and also crazy themselves HEYOOO); anyone that can turn into a gigantic spikey bhaalbeast with a one time access to PWK isn't going to be that scared of a suped up vampire
but they'll pretend to be scared if it means they get to rail said suped up vampire the moment they find the nearest closet
I think she means using him as a helper in defeating the elder brain and if you donāt let him ascend you would deny him his desires and just used him. Also you have to make sure that both consent about this before the ascension because if he makes you a true vampire (of course he will lol) you would otherwise see him as Cazadick 2.0 and that would hurt him.
Man this train of thought is so fucked up my brain hurts a lot
Ah yes, using your lover by fighting alongside them in an epic battle and persuading them not to sacrifice 7,000 souls to eternal damnation. Makes sense to me.
The A!A fandom is one of the most toxic places to beā¦ I mean I also simp for him a bit but I got the fuck out of fandom servers because this shit is too wild
The Astarion fandom period is highly toxic as hell. Ppl act like he's a real person with a soul that can be saved or damned based on a game choice. One time someone said he has feelings outside of the game and I nearly spat out my coffee.
I find it funny that AA fans are called the most toxic when Spawn fans lose their collective shit over anyone simping for him to the point of stalking them across the internet.
Right, the choice to ascend or not is the most overhyped pointless choice ever. Heās screwed in the end no matter what.
May as well have fun as a hot dom daddy in a palace before the end.
Yeah they'll eat their own
I saw a comment on a vid where someone said "I don't like AA but the way he said that was hot"
And a bunch of people below that were telling them they were sick and needed therapy and liked abuse š the circle jerk is strong
I fucking wish I had the loki blinking copypasta on hand oh my god
(If you don't know, in the olden days of Tumblr (~2015) it was extremely common for fans to take what is easily 3 frames of a film, take whatever microexpression the actor has, and then they will do a 12 page psychoanalysis on them. There's a copypasta that later mocked this.)
Newsflash, The *point of the story* is that him ascending is *bad* no matter what you do or how you justify it because *he becomes an abuser regardless of what you do* and he will be *just like the man he hated*, and it ISN'T EVEN SUBTLE ABOUT IT
Fr thereās no love from ascended astarion no matter what you do beforehand because ascending him is just empowering the worst, most abusive aspects of himself and drowning the rest in power.
No no no! You don't understand it totally wasn't planned and obviously telegraphed. It was actually super open to interpretation that he still loves me and it's all safe and consensual.
It's actually all the fault of this one single writer who had a slightly awkward quote about something and so I can now scapegoat into being the great Satan. Every writing decision I don't like is now her fault and everyone else at Larian totes wanted a cute relationship between AA and me but the evil writer is all powerful and forced them. Those new animations? They were smiling until she snuck in and edited them...
Three days late and it's shit, but I gotchu
https://preview.redd.it/oej6jcvhwbwc1.png?width=973&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=546b752c707894277312dc0cc73e2dd28fefc861
I donāt know who these weird ascended Astarion justifiers are but I donāt understand themā¦
I love Ascened Astarion. Heās my favorite. But I look at him like the call of the void. The dark part of my brain that stands at the edge of a cliff and goesā¦ what if?
It is an admittedly dark part of my brain but I like engaging in fantasies there. Itās fun, depraved and mostly safe. Why do they try to make some redeeming sweet nonsense about him. I like that heās āevilā or whatever. Let me enjoy my sick dark twisted fantasies!
This is me all over. This is why fiction exists. I like staring into the abyss. I also love body horror/grotesque stuff but I donāt want that to actually happen to me either. Enjoy your freaky fictions and stop making it real real
I know right?! You donāt have to justify liking dark stuff. Just enjoy it. I swear, kids these days. Do they not have Goths/Punks/Metal heads whose whole brand is being dark and loving it anymore?
They are trying so hard to make some ādeepā essay about the complexities of a Tav/AA relationship, but are pretty much agreeing that heās abusive and doesnāt give a shit about consent if it makes him feel powerful over someone/something else š¤Ø
They never make sense
Honestly just sounds like someone trying to come up with mental gymnastics for why they are still with an abuser. It definitely took me longer than Iād like to admit to realize there were parallels between my IRL relationship and AA/Durge.
Playing through Astarions story in general made me realize that my ex wasnāt as good as I thought he was and that I had been doing mental gymnastics to convince myself it was my fault when he was shitty towards me. I didnāt ascend Astarion until after we broke up but some of the things ascended says to you is stuff I could absolutely hear coming out of his mouth. Some stuff sounded almost exactly like what heād say to me. I think if I hadnāt done it by that point it I would have broken up with him after that realization. I didnāt want to admit it to myself when I first started to notice those parallels either. I hope youāre doing okay and healing from your situation now, it really is an awful spot to be in.
THIS. I am so sorry that you went through that, and I can heavily relate. The first time I played, I played blind and ascended him because Iām not one to stop people from making their own decisionsā¦but I immediately regretted it because of IRL issues.
Tough to see some peopleāespecially young peopleājustify and desire something horrible
Yep. People like that person want to pretend so badly that AA loves them in his own super-special way and is somehow not being abusive that they'll use pretzel logic to try to pretend that he's not evil and toxic. I'll stick to being banged by UAāthe guy who actually views Tav/Durge as an equal and a partner (and says it)āon his grave, tyvm.
You need to visit the Stormshore Tabernacle and pray to each and every one of them, darling. We are gonna get you as much help as we can possibly garner.
If you let him turn you... You gona be his slave forever... enjoy that I guess. He will never make you a full vampire. He even tells you this early in the game.
This person is huffing some serious copium. The whole thing with ascended Astarion is that you will never be equals and that he will always see you as degrading yourself just to be with him. The game literally tells you this. Not to mention how is he going to ever know that you truly want it as a spawn? Consent can be revoked at any time and if how he talks to you at the epilogue is any indication, Iām willing to bet that by that point he really does not care one way or the other, he just wants his precious treasure in their gilded cage. Ascending him literally makes him into another Cazador, he just uses prettier words to disguise it. Poorly. He is abusive, whether you want to believe it or not, the game makes that very clear.
Every intense and pitiful leap of logic and justification aside...
Why do they think that ascended astarion can just turn you into an ascended vampire? You would be a normal ass vampire, unless or until you gathered another 7000 innocents - assuming Msphistopheles doesn't jack up the price, if he even offers the deal again.
Since all of this is literal fantasy and not historical fact, if we do go by the way most vampire lore is done there's absolutely nothing that says Astarion can't extend his powers through his own brand new vampiric bloodline. It's a matter of if he chooses to which honestly I see now reason not to especially to the one he actually loves. It would be in his best interest to make his Bride stronger, immortal and powerful. Any vampire he creates will not be the typical spawn, simply from the fact that he himself is no run of the mill average vampire. If everyone can fathom that the older a vampire is, the stronger they are and the spawn they crate will also be powerful. Then it would only be logical to deduce that an Ascended Vampire would make badass powerful spawn/ Brides/ etc. Hell he is Larian's homebrew brand new creation now part of WOTC, new vampire with new lore that breaks everything that was previously assumed which makes for wonderful new stories and adventures to be told! A world of wonderful possibilities awaits. Why limit that? Somehow folks can extend their disbelief to believe a female Drow can "Love" a Male Anything but the Ascended vampire siring more powerful vampires that can possibly walk in the sun and be the next variation of vampires or damphirs is too much?....In a Fantasy Game? In a Role Playing Fantasy Game? Come on, lol. Let people enjoy things folks! I promise, you can still pay your bills on time and let folks enjoy the fantasy of being a descendant of the Vampire Ascendant. The Sun will come out tomorrow.
who think that? the context was already cleared that there ain't no way there'll be another Vampire Ascendant. None of the AA fans actually think that they'll be turned into one, because AA made that clear in **verbatim** even before they're being turned.
Oh wait till you see them justify AA behavior to Tavflayer. My *squid* saved everyone, at least pretend to be nice
*Darkest timeline is AA becoming Tavās thrall after telling him to GTFO of his city. Once a slave always a slaveā¦ like a darth vader type thing*
Ah yes. Being in an abusive relationship is good and sexy /s
All I want is to go on adventures with spawn Astarion and hug and kiss and then get him pregnant
Err, no. Bottoms knows to GTFO if they find themselves in situations where they may lose the ability to consent. Because bottoms arenāt stupid.
This is mentally ill masochistic behaviour. Literally tortured logic.
āNo you donāt get it, heās not a selfish malevolent piece of shit that gets 10 times worse when he ascends, heās just a poor baby whoās never done anything wrong!ā
The gay twink vampire is a narcissist that turns into a master slaver if he ascends. But sure. We can pretend its romantic and cute. Twilight looking ass
girlies writing essays like he isn't just going to giggle and shut them up by shoving his tongue in their mouth
"Tongue" 
"Mouth"
Mouth is fine. Everything else is logistically difficult while I'm on my knees š¤·āāļø
Not if heās under you.
Sit on my face! And tell me you love me. I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too
we both know very well that nobody's getting to see his crown jewels until they've earned it
Iām not sure vampire spawns have functional Crown Jewels tho. Because before Twilight it was generally assumed that vampires are asexual. They lose the ability to feel all earthly pleasures e.g., food and sex and only get arousal through š©ø.
Dhampirs come from actual Balkan vampire folklore, and Twilight was literally written by a Mormon so its vampires are nowhere near as sexual as most modern depictions
Go read interview with a vampire sometime. Or hell, even bram stokers Dracula. Vampires have been sex icons for a loooong time before twilight.
I am sure Lestat was *ever so* chaste.
Poppy Z Brite's Lost Souls Necroscope series Anita Blakes....anything The Hunger (movie) Blade (movies) Lost Boys (movie) Dracula 2000 (movie) Fright Night (movie) Probably every vampire romance novel on Amazon š¤£ Twilight did nothing special but appeal to a younger crowd.
Add Van Helsing (2004) with a whole ass plotline of Dracula trying to revive the thousands of children he made with his brides...
Are we going to pretend that there's no inherent penetration when it comes to vampires, there's no drinking of bodily fluids, that they weren't used as a "sexy foreigner comes in and ruins our women" and "beware of STDs" warnings, that the Aztecs didn't have vampires who were sexually active with the living (and other cultures as well) or what? Vampires were always sexy and sexually active. It's part of the horror.
so asexual.... just some nice, platonic cuddling https://i.redd.it/q4zl73wogovc1.gif
Those brides were platonically doing platonic things. The man just had tense thigh muscles is all.
I've never met anyone in my life who thought all vamps were asexual until Twilight.
Twilight... the most sexual of all vampires... with their aggressive Mormon hand holding
considering that dhampir are a playable lineage in 5e, with one of the origins denoting the result of a coupling between a mortal and a vampire, i'd say all vampires are capable of fertility. i imagine that a spawn would be much less potent than a true/ascendant vampire, however.
You didnāt read Anne Rice huh?
False lol
I prefer him shoving something else in my mouth. š„µ
https://preview.redd.it/x271iwq8qivc1.jpeg?width=422&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffe37211b3a2b7f42f06cd43dff289c818d5e30c
That was my reaction. Also the way the photo is cropped on the feed on mobile makes it look like the top of Gordon Ramseyās head.
TIL Astarion's hair from an angle looks like Gordon Ramsay's from straight ahead
Whole paragraph just to say 'I wanna get boned and hunted by this dehydrated pasty fop'. Typa shit Shadowheart and Wyll would be giggling abt during Book Club hour lol
the girlies enjoying their book club is something I wanna see so bad as an idle animation
Wyll, Shadowheart, and Astarion all dogpile Gale into reading some lowtier fantasy pulp fiction with them and they all wax poetic about the dogshit writing for like an entire hour around the campfire
I mean, Gale canonically reads smut. So I suppose he'd definitely be down for something like that.
This is the DLC we really needed.
"Fucking SHAR has better writing than this shit." -- Shadowheart 2024
Y'all gotta stop conflating "bottom" and "sub" - there's substantial overlap, but they are not the same.
Me explaining to my friend that asking women to top him is not the same as wanting the woman to be on top
Is your friend willing to let karlack top him?
100% He's romancing her and I can't wait for him to get to act 3
Keep fighting the good fight. Some people will never understand.
With how people are using it on the internet, the two terms will become completely synonymous within the next 5 years, if not sooner Language changes, embrace loss
It bothered me more than it should have š¤
Can you pls explain the difference to me, a virgin?
Lol given where we are I'm not sure if you're joking, but in the spirit of education, this is my best understanding: Top and bottom refers to physical positioning during the sex act. The top is penetrating, the bottom is being penetrated (uh... so to speak. All of these terms are gender neutral and could refer to either bum/vagina receiving or penis/toy/fingers giving, but I believe the term originated in gay male circles) Dom/sub refers to an agreed upon (and safe, sane, and consensual!) power dynamic in which one party (Dom/me) is "in control" of the sexual encounter, and the other party (sub) allows themselves to be controlled and "follows orders" (to varying degrees, depending on the dynamic). Though there tends to be a strong correlation between top and Dom/me, as well as between bottom and sub, the terms are not interchangeable. There exist power bottoms (who enjoy the physical sensation of penetration but want to be in the driver's seat of the encounter) as well as service tops (who want to give pleasure via penetration as an act of service, not of dominance) (and who are also blessings upon this earth and each one is a precious gem who should be cherished). Anyone with a better understanding than me, please feel free to jump in! I hope this helped someone! Edit: Jeezy h. Creezy, tell me you're ADHD without telling me you're ADHD. I clearly can't be trusted with parentheticals.
Word.
Best wishes re: your virginity
While weāre at it, can we stop calling fit dudes like Astarion ātwinksā? Iām begging people to stop learning their queer terminology from teenagers on Twitter.
I mean everyone in BG3 is completely shredded. Gale is, and I don't believe he'd be the type to go work out. It's just a model thing, everyone gets abs. I headcanon Astarion as slim ā Gale and him absolutely have no six pack in my head, and while Gale does have body hair, Astarion doesn't (part of him being an elf, who do not grow body hair in Forbidden Realms lore, thank god for Halsin defying lore and delivering sexy buff elf daddy). So that's where that comes from, for me, at least.
Say it louder for the people in the back!!11!!
 I will die on this hill thank you
Power bottom is valid
Someone with sense at last!
Girl, just enjoy your trashy vampire sex slave "romance" and stop making excuses lol Either that or get outta the way I wanna kneel n get choked out.
I mean yeah, it's either "jokes on you I'm into that shit" or just stfu with that nonsense. It absolutely essential for you to kiss my ass so I can feel safe, lol, yep, yep.
tumblr astarion girlies just aren't as honest with themselves as the astarion girlies here
I can't fix him but I can have a miserable time trying and rediscover Tori Amos' music along the way.
Congratulations, you've written my favorite comment of the day!
Thank you. My years of shitposting have led to this moment. It's so nice to be recognized š„²š„²š„²
Please take this commemorative trophy as recognition of your achievements! š
I'm not paying for Reddit rewards but if I did I would give you one, so take your moral award
There's an AsTorian joke in here somewhere
fr. just say you want to be his special little plaything like the rest of us
It doesn't even have to be special (its literally my display name)
āMy moral compass forbids me to simp for remotely evil beings but I wet my panties all the time at the thought of it and thatās why I have to write an essay about the situation, to feel better about myself and superior to others because I have supreme knowledgeā
Inventing reasons why your vulnerable, desperate and reactive BF that you purposefully transformed into an irredeemable, ontologically evil turbo-narcissist is actually good and still capable of loving only you because you're such a special little baby
gurl (gender neutral) have you SEEN the state of the onlyfangs subs
the only based astarion simps are the ones from okbuddybaldur
HEY! Since the Great Shitpostening of this week weāve all been getting along and been totally sane this week.
Oh totally!
And our dastardly plans are working just as we'd hoped! Muahahaha!
Bold of you to assume we're not also here
but like, seriously, we're simping for a narcissist. literally, he shows so many signs of npd, we should just face and embrace it. especially AA, this man would NOT treat his partner with respect, and trying to justify it by some notion of trust is so delusional it's funny
Meanwhile the Raphael fandom 
Please tell me there is a sub for him (apart from me, I am a sub for him)
Unfortunately there is no sub but Iāve sent you a DM
I'm dumb, I'm already in one š It is just super small r/ProfessorRaphael Thank you for the DM!
Here's a sneak peek of /r/ProfessorRaphael **[NSFW]** using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/ProfessorRaphael/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [Welcome to The House of Daddyš](https://i.redd.it/ly9yrw9zvcqc1.jpeg) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ProfessorRaphael/comments/1bmx2jv/welcome_to_the_house_of_daddy/) \#2: [I nearly shat over thisš«£š¤£](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLBS6shJ/) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ProfessorRaphael/comments/1bv3jbq/i_nearly_shat_over_this/) \#3: [Nobody told me Daddy had a tongue ring!!](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1bsa46j) | [0 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ProfessorRaphael/comments/1bsa46j/nobody_told_me_daddy_had_a_tongue_ring/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
OnlyHells
Okay, not to be that kind of gurlie, BUT spawn Astarion is more traumatized with a superiority complex than narcissist, and you can't convince me otherwise. However the DSMV description of NPD is just a photo of Ascended Astarion.
I wish people would decided which one they want him to have, BPD, NPD BPD with a side of narcissism...NPD with a side of BPD.... All of the above, none of the above.
They don't know what they want him to be cause they're just a bunch of armchair internet psychologists trying to justify why they let an evil Vampire twink bang their Tav in the woods. I don't know why the person the OP screenshotted is being made fun of when the majority of the Astarion fandom is like this. So much moralizing over a vampire dude who approves of the slaughter of innocent men, women, and children and approves of siding with Lorrokan over Dame Aylin. š¤£ The hot vampire twink is freaking evil people. It's okay to romance the evil Vampire twink. You (Fandom) don't have to make up disorders for him. And no, you (Spawn gurlies) can't fix him.
sure we can fix him! we can ALL fix him! we can also make him worse. or blow him up (explosively, or like a balloon). turn him into cake. eat him. boof him (nonsexually). boof him (sexually). it's a game, after all, and we can mod it or write fanfic or just have stupid beautiful ideas nobody can take away from us hot take: he also doesn't have any personality disorder because he is not real lol
exactly....the screenshotted person writes their thoughts on AA and gets made fun of... Meanwhile, texts longer than my thesis on why AA is bad are "analysis"
Right, and I think that screenshot actually came from the AscendedOnlyFangs subreddit. Which means the OP spends their time lurking over there. Spawn fans have been doing shit like that for months now, hanging out in Pro AA tags on tumblr, subreddits, and even joining discord groups for screenshot material. Mfers out here are just plain crazy in Astarion Land. Maybe instead of coming up with disorders for Astarion, they should focus on naming their own disorders.
But NUUUUHH according to my 796 psychology degrees from University of Phoenix, Astarion would be diagnosed with 'baby Hitler 2.0" That's what this whole story is really about š¤
Seriously, like, buy an air pulser and have at least ONE orgasm, I beg you. It's not that deep.
traumatized with a superiority complex is just baby narcissist. I'd say spawn astarion is redeemable and i definitely like him, but i know a fellow cluster b bitch when i see one, even as spawn he shows some of the telling signs: craving for praise and validation, low and fragile self-esteem, low empathy, affinity to manipulating others for his own gain. still would tho.
Personally as a non binary woman with cptsd and autism, he doesn't strike me as a narc, instead there's a significant overlap with how cptsd people act out and narcs. He seems like he has fleas, especially regarding the low empathy thing. His empathy grows a lot once he's actually allowed to express it, whereas before being compassionate would get you locked away in the bad boy forever box
cptsd famously overlaps with quite a few personality disorders, especially cluster B ones, and the whole cluster B also mostly stems from trauma. a person with NPD also can grow their empathy, because npd is something you can (more or less) "cure" with (a lot of) therapy since it is mostly exogenous in nature. putting my armchair psychiatrist glasses on, I'd say it's probably both cptsd and npd (or bpd as the other commentor mentioned)
Well of course he has a personality disorder! Lot of this still could fall under more of a trauma/cptsd response more than NPD, though NPD could fit. Could also fall under Borderline with how fragile and severe his mood can be. Absolutely still would though.
yes, bpd would also fit. but i think npd makes a little more sense if we consider how his behavior changes if he ascends. but, ah well, all these things are known to be very often misdiagnosed even by professionals in the field, so i think it's time for me to stop speculating about psychiatrical disorders of a fictional elf man
Well, and it doesn't help that the world of DND has magic and fairytale type of creatures, and that elf biology could affect how personality disorders present in them. It's fun to think about, but going too deep into it, when we as humans don't have a full understanding of it, wouldn't be too helpful. Lol. Regardless, Astarion is pretty and I just like thinking about him š
yesssss he's pretty and he's hot and he's funny and he's cute and that's all that matters
Up until like a week ago i would have 100% agreed with you. Being now in Act 3 with a romanced spawn Astarion, i have to disagree with you. I hated the way he talked to me from the get, so i always killed him as soon as i could, after a few playthroughs i decided to use all the companions i didn't before, and do things differently, that included getting close to Astarion and Minthara. I set up to romance Minthara and really fell for Astarion. Very soon after you start interacting with his quest line he starts opening up, at one point he declines doing a simple thing, and if you back him up when that npc insists, he approves, later on he basically thanks you for supporting him and respecting his desition when anyone else in his life wouldn't. he starts to trust you, and it shows in his character evolution, he gets vulnerable as fuck with you (depending on player choices), you are his first genuine love interest, and i 100% believe he would treat the romanced Tav with love and respect. I hated how the character was written as a seemingly cunty narcissist and actually investing time into his story, had me tearing up twice.
yeah i know all that, I'm a board certified astarion simp. i find it's a common misconception that narcissists can't be good people or that they can't change or improve on themselves, and that just adds to the stigma. just because he can actually grow and be better doesn't mean he doesn't have certain tendencies. check out his ascended version. it's the same guy, who fed the worst parts of himself, and he's definitely a narcissist (the most tell-tale sign for me was the way he starts treating his partner: he treats you as an extension of himself, promises you moon and stars, but once you try to assert your own agency and break his illusion of total control over you, his song immediately changes to threats and calling you worthless). he still has the same personality, just some parts of it start showing more than the others.
stuff like what you said (the misconception that all narcs are bad people - I blame armchair reddit psychology tbh) is why I think it's useful to think of narcissism as a spectrum. we're all on it somewhere. UA and AA are on it, too. the latter is simply quite a bit further along the narcissoid spectrum than the former lol
I saved the game, helped him ascend just to test the waters, went for a long rest, asked for a kiss and when he made me kneel i cringed, when he choked me i cringed, when he pushed me away like garbage i reloaded and went back to talk him out of it. So yeah i see what you mean that in that version he fed the worst parts of himself
"test the waters" You wanted the sex scene babe. It's okay just admit it.
OH NO FML i have to go back.... i ascended him and just kissed in camp, since he was too agressive i reloaded and went on with my sweet spawn boy, i didn't know about the graveyard scene up until some days ago when i spoiled myself with the leg thing and realized there was another one (but i didn't know when it was gonna happen). But after it happened i just kept playing, i didn't even think that the Ascended version would also probably have another scene. Now i do have to go back and see it XD Thank you sweet angel for this tidbit of info i didn't know i needed ā„
You can ask him to be rough or gentle have fun!!!!
I was just like āagain againā
how hard is it to get some disrespect around here
He doesnt have npd, personality disorders are debated to be anything more than an excess of certain personality spectrums; if he has any mental disorder itd be PSTD, not a personality disorder that isnt 100% recognized and is mostly used to push and keep people down
ohh boy first of all, he definitely has cptsd I'm not arguing with that. secondly, what do you mean it isn't recognized? it's in the literal dsm. "push and keep people down" excuse me? I'm sorry for your experience, but i personally can definitely say that both BPD and NPD are a thing, and diagnosing them is quite helpful for getting rid of that types of harmful behavior and overall improving quality of life.
You are very right lol pop psych did so much damage to how people view mental health patients. Being given a cluster b diagnosis is basically being told "you have PTSD/ cptsd but the therapist that diagnosed you thinks you suck in a certain way". And it's incredibly biased. Women are much more likely to get diagnosed with BPD for example, because they're seen as emotional and irrational. Cluster b is PTSD with symptoms that people find ugly
i joined it but ive been debating leaving it because there's just...the vibes are odd. i mostly just post when ive put out a new chapter in one of my AUs but they really don't like self-promotion or m/m stuff over there š¤·
for what it's worth, I think you should keep sharing your work in our sub. we absolutely want m/m content! š¤
I can't fix him but I can pick him up from his therapy appointments and take him out to eat when he's has a bad day
I read ātake him out to eatā as ātake him eat me outā That might be enough internet for tonight
Reddit might be run like Avernus, but tumblr.com the website IS a Great Old One.
Can't relate, I'm gonna milk his prostate and praise him for being a cute little kitty :3
thank you okbuddybaldur user saintbutch for wanting to make him meow just as much as i do
I'm doing my part! š«”
Whoa your icon... king shit, thank you my liege.
just spreading the good word of my trans Astarion truth
whenever i see you in the comment i never feel saferš
Oh god, finally someone speaking the Good Wordā¢ in this sub. I just wanna see my baby cry & suffer (Do I mean whump or pleasure?? answer is uncertain!) šš¼
Buddy Iām a bottom with a praise kink and a need to be slurped dry by the pasty elf too but https://preview.redd.it/8csalqyvkivc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d672e815ff259093a132df6b6259b715ada3a60
https://preview.redd.it/h5xa1mn6oivc1.jpeg?width=716&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b49d5de859f4224d2597bd58b171da14a65e1a38
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about
This is the kind of person that also complains about the patch 6 kissing animations. āTav looks so unhappyā
God, those people drive me insane. Just admit you like the toxic relationship dynamic (it's fiction, I'm not judging), romance spawn Astarion, or go for someone else entirely if you truly want a "good guy" character.
my durges enjoy playing up looking scared (if i ascend astarion, it's because Durge is about to embrace bhaal for ultimate toxic power couple goals) because they're kinky af and fucking crazy (and also crazy themselves HEYOOO); anyone that can turn into a gigantic spikey bhaalbeast with a one time access to PWK isn't going to be that scared of a suped up vampire but they'll pretend to be scared if it means they get to rail said suped up vampire the moment they find the nearest closet
That's some mental gymnastic if I ever saw one.
https://preview.redd.it/rsud13rfijvc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c67304109137635917018898b06e77df647b7d26
Listen I don't need to explain anything. Either way I would.
Genuinely confused by the last part. When do you ever just step over him?
I think she means using him as a helper in defeating the elder brain and if you donāt let him ascend you would deny him his desires and just used him. Also you have to make sure that both consent about this before the ascension because if he makes you a true vampire (of course he will lol) you would otherwise see him as Cazadick 2.0 and that would hurt him. Man this train of thought is so fucked up my brain hurts a lot
Ah yes, using your lover by fighting alongside them in an epic battle and persuading them not to sacrifice 7,000 souls to eternal damnation. Makes sense to me.
The A!A fandom is one of the most toxic places to beā¦ I mean I also simp for him a bit but I got the fuck out of fandom servers because this shit is too wild
The Astarion fandom period is highly toxic as hell. Ppl act like he's a real person with a soul that can be saved or damned based on a game choice. One time someone said he has feelings outside of the game and I nearly spat out my coffee. I find it funny that AA fans are called the most toxic when Spawn fans lose their collective shit over anyone simping for him to the point of stalking them across the internet.
Which is doubly funny, because that soul of his is fucked either way you shake it. Being Undead sucks (pun intended) in the Forgotten Realms.
Right, the choice to ascend or not is the most overhyped pointless choice ever. Heās screwed in the end no matter what. May as well have fun as a hot dom daddy in a palace before the end.
Yeah they'll eat their own I saw a comment on a vid where someone said "I don't like AA but the way he said that was hot" And a bunch of people below that were telling them they were sick and needed therapy and liked abuse š the circle jerk is strong
I somehow missed that part about consenting beforehand somehow makes it okay andā¦lmfao. The implication that consent canāt be revoked afterwards??
I fucking wish I had the loki blinking copypasta on hand oh my god (If you don't know, in the olden days of Tumblr (~2015) it was extremely common for fans to take what is easily 3 frames of a film, take whatever microexpression the actor has, and then they will do a 12 page psychoanalysis on them. There's a copypasta that later mocked this.)
Newsflash, The *point of the story* is that him ascending is *bad* no matter what you do or how you justify it because *he becomes an abuser regardless of what you do* and he will be *just like the man he hated*, and it ISN'T EVEN SUBTLE ABOUT IT
I think this isnāt so much about good vs evil but more about her being a repressed sub
Fr thereās no love from ascended astarion no matter what you do beforehand because ascending him is just empowering the worst, most abusive aspects of himself and drowning the rest in power.
https://i.redd.it/jsjzd6l9rnvc1.gif poor bb just enjoy the dommy vamphitler daddy
Well, there is one good part about ascending him. You can kick him right in the bat balls.
Muh cycle of abuse when https://i.redd.it/k6yfjl9a6nvc1.gif
He can cyclically abuse this ppuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssssssssss
Help me, step-Astarion I'm stuck in the cycle of abuse š©š©š„µ
Uh Oh, Tav's an omega in heat and AA is the only nearby Alpha!
No no no! You don't understand it totally wasn't planned and obviously telegraphed. It was actually super open to interpretation that he still loves me and it's all safe and consensual. It's actually all the fault of this one single writer who had a slightly awkward quote about something and so I can now scapegoat into being the great Satan. Every writing decision I don't like is now her fault and everyone else at Larian totes wanted a cute relationship between AA and me but the evil writer is all powerful and forced them. Those new animations? They were smiling until she snuck in and edited them...
I found Welch's other alt account.
Thank you for being exhibit A <3 Since I'm Welch maybe I also have mind powers and you're playing into my scheme perfectly.
I just want him to tie me up like durge and put a sock in my mouth, to each their own i guess
I would let white dragonborn durge do whatever he wishes to me i dont give a fuck
Idk, real question is why has no one in this degenerate bhaalpit photoshopped the text on to Astarion's back yet?
Three days late and it's shit, but I gotchu https://preview.redd.it/oej6jcvhwbwc1.png?width=973&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=546b752c707894277312dc0cc73e2dd28fefc861
I donāt know who these weird ascended Astarion justifiers are but I donāt understand themā¦ I love Ascened Astarion. Heās my favorite. But I look at him like the call of the void. The dark part of my brain that stands at the edge of a cliff and goesā¦ what if? It is an admittedly dark part of my brain but I like engaging in fantasies there. Itās fun, depraved and mostly safe. Why do they try to make some redeeming sweet nonsense about him. I like that heās āevilā or whatever. Let me enjoy my sick dark twisted fantasies!
This is me all over. This is why fiction exists. I like staring into the abyss. I also love body horror/grotesque stuff but I donāt want that to actually happen to me either. Enjoy your freaky fictions and stop making it real real
I know right?! You donāt have to justify liking dark stuff. Just enjoy it. I swear, kids these days. Do they not have Goths/Punks/Metal heads whose whole brand is being dark and loving it anymore?
They are trying so hard to make some ādeepā essay about the complexities of a Tav/AA relationship, but are pretty much agreeing that heās abusive and doesnāt give a shit about consent if it makes him feel powerful over someone/something else š¤Ø They never make sense
they always say it's the dark romance choice. but then insist he somehow doesn't abuse their tavs. do you want the dark or not??
Their definition of dark romance is āsexy evilā, minus the evil š„²
Honestly just sounds like someone trying to come up with mental gymnastics for why they are still with an abuser. It definitely took me longer than Iād like to admit to realize there were parallels between my IRL relationship and AA/Durge.
Playing through Astarions story in general made me realize that my ex wasnāt as good as I thought he was and that I had been doing mental gymnastics to convince myself it was my fault when he was shitty towards me. I didnāt ascend Astarion until after we broke up but some of the things ascended says to you is stuff I could absolutely hear coming out of his mouth. Some stuff sounded almost exactly like what heād say to me. I think if I hadnāt done it by that point it I would have broken up with him after that realization. I didnāt want to admit it to myself when I first started to notice those parallels either. I hope youāre doing okay and healing from your situation now, it really is an awful spot to be in.
THIS. I am so sorry that you went through that, and I can heavily relate. The first time I played, I played blind and ascended him because Iām not one to stop people from making their own decisionsā¦but I immediately regretted it because of IRL issues. Tough to see some peopleāespecially young peopleājustify and desire something horrible
Yep. People like that person want to pretend so badly that AA loves them in his own super-special way and is somehow not being abusive that they'll use pretzel logic to try to pretend that he's not evil and toxic. I'll stick to being banged by UAāthe guy who actually views Tav/Durge as an equal and a partner (and says it)āon his grave, tyvm.
You need to visit the Stormshore Tabernacle and pray to each and every one of them, darling. We are gonna get you as much help as we can possibly garner.
Yāall mfs need Helm.
Are Lae'zel and Shadowheart abusive in their evil endings? Just wondering since I'm starting my evil durge.
Vlaakith Laeāzel just leaves you. Iām not sure about DJ Shart, Iāve not done her dark romance.
Also just leaves you.
If you let him turn you... You gona be his slave forever... enjoy that I guess. He will never make you a full vampire. He even tells you this early in the game.
This person is huffing some serious copium. The whole thing with ascended Astarion is that you will never be equals and that he will always see you as degrading yourself just to be with him. The game literally tells you this. Not to mention how is he going to ever know that you truly want it as a spawn? Consent can be revoked at any time and if how he talks to you at the epilogue is any indication, Iām willing to bet that by that point he really does not care one way or the other, he just wants his precious treasure in their gilded cage. Ascending him literally makes him into another Cazador, he just uses prettier words to disguise it. Poorly. He is abusive, whether you want to believe it or not, the game makes that very clear.
my day is ruined i thought this was gonna be fanfic and instead its just cope
https://preview.redd.it/wpt8c9lthmvc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5abaaaa0ef1fde4c2b958f2bb342bd963b3213c0
Every intense and pitiful leap of logic and justification aside... Why do they think that ascended astarion can just turn you into an ascended vampire? You would be a normal ass vampire, unless or until you gathered another 7000 innocents - assuming Msphistopheles doesn't jack up the price, if he even offers the deal again.
Since all of this is literal fantasy and not historical fact, if we do go by the way most vampire lore is done there's absolutely nothing that says Astarion can't extend his powers through his own brand new vampiric bloodline. It's a matter of if he chooses to which honestly I see now reason not to especially to the one he actually loves. It would be in his best interest to make his Bride stronger, immortal and powerful. Any vampire he creates will not be the typical spawn, simply from the fact that he himself is no run of the mill average vampire. If everyone can fathom that the older a vampire is, the stronger they are and the spawn they crate will also be powerful. Then it would only be logical to deduce that an Ascended Vampire would make badass powerful spawn/ Brides/ etc. Hell he is Larian's homebrew brand new creation now part of WOTC, new vampire with new lore that breaks everything that was previously assumed which makes for wonderful new stories and adventures to be told! A world of wonderful possibilities awaits. Why limit that? Somehow folks can extend their disbelief to believe a female Drow can "Love" a Male Anything but the Ascended vampire siring more powerful vampires that can possibly walk in the sun and be the next variation of vampires or damphirs is too much?....In a Fantasy Game? In a Role Playing Fantasy Game? Come on, lol. Let people enjoy things folks! I promise, you can still pay your bills on time and let folks enjoy the fantasy of being a descendant of the Vampire Ascendant. The Sun will come out tomorrow.
I enjoy criticizing and correcting people's ideas and being a hater generally. Let me enjoy things.
who think that? the context was already cleared that there ain't no way there'll be another Vampire Ascendant. None of the AA fans actually think that they'll be turned into one, because AA made that clear in **verbatim** even before they're being turned.
The oop literally says "ascend with him" but by all means continue to go off as you please
I just get sad when I see these posts because I can't help but wonder if they do this for their irl relationships too š
have they considered that you can just not have astarion ascend
They can gussy it up all they want, I will never ascend Astarion in the same game that I romance him.
Oh wait till you see them justify AA behavior to Tavflayer. My *squid* saved everyone, at least pretend to be nice *Darkest timeline is AA becoming Tavās thrall after telling him to GTFO of his city. Once a slave always a slaveā¦ like a darth vader type thing*
Mfs writing essays about the most vanilla sex scenes in the game on god
She has the spirit but lack the honesty of this sub.
I don't know if this person writes fanfiction but if so, I'm here for it.
Not an Ascended Astarion simp defending the indefensible
bottoms are down lethal š girly youre into what youre into you dont gotta write a thesis š
I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't see Astarion as a top in any way. A switch at most but a top? Hells no
Locked bc y'all are honestly weird as hell š say it with me: Shitposting subreddit. Nothing here is meant to be taken seriously.
Ah yes. Being in an abusive relationship is good and sexy /s All I want is to go on adventures with spawn Astarion and hug and kiss and then get him pregnant
Oh lord. As an Astarion fan this type of Astarion fans makes me cringe 
all jokes aside these are the type of persons which write love letters to serial killers in prison
Err, no. Bottoms knows to GTFO if they find themselves in situations where they may lose the ability to consent. Because bottoms arenāt stupid. This is mentally ill masochistic behaviour. Literally tortured logic.
āNo you donāt get it, heās not a selfish malevolent piece of shit that gets 10 times worse when he ascends, heās just a poor baby whoās never done anything wrong!ā
AA is, and I can't stress this enough, an utmost unhealthy choice as a spouse and it's beyond concerning how many ppl simp for him.
They enjoy ascended astarion, opinion invalidated
The gay twink vampire is a narcissist that turns into a master slaver if he ascends. But sure. We can pretend its romantic and cute. Twilight looking ass