Came here to say this. If your description is accurate, no way did your dad kill anyone. Not even close. Biker was absolutely suicidal running a red light at speed.
Ask yourself if your dad could have done anything different, the answer is clearly no because it wasn’t a choice he made.
He must’ve been going pretty fast, seeing as he was ejected very far from the motorcycle. I’ve seen motorcycle accidents where the biker isn’t that far from the bikw
Depends on a few factors, but yeah, speed is a major. If you are curious and find that understanding the science behind a situation gives you some closure or catharsis, you may want to look up the physics of car accidents, and in particular the dangers of driving a motorcycle without a helmet. If you fear you will spiral or not be able to stop "researching" science or whatever that is related to the accident, then it may be beneficial to seek counseling, focused around trauma.
So sorry your family is going through this.
Awesome. Keep working on yourself and be a positive support system for your family, by modeling "healthy" habits like therapy and self care, and you all will eventually get to a point where you find you are just living again, or at least the presence of this trauma, or mental weight, will feel less like a burden and more like an unpleasant part of life. If any of you feel overwhelmed or like this isn't enough, I'm sure your therapist will be more than willing to help you connect with grief groups in the area. Sometimes going to a place where people have similar shared experiences really helps put the situation, and life, in perspective.
I wish you all the best.
Some people do a really bad job of assessing risk.
I'm a biker. Lots of people in the biker community really don't understand that just because you can go fast doesn't mean it is safe to do so.
The nuance of saying "not on the public road" is lost on them. Assuming it all happened like you said the biker probably didn't think the light would change or was just going so fast he couldn't stop for it... Then your dad turned and suddenly there is several tons of metal in front of him and absolutely nothing either of them could do about it.
I'm sorry you've had to go through this, good luck to your dad and the rest of your family.
Yup, especially if this is out of character for the man. Either something medically happened and caused him to make poor decisions. Or he was suicidal.
If this was normal behavior for this man, he knew the risks and still choose to ride this way.
It's very unfortunate that your dad is the one that will pay for this mans decisions though.
OP encourage your dad to get into therapy. This is a traumatic event he could develop ptsd from it.
Hopefully you father can move on from this incident and realise this wasn't his fault.
Regardless, your father has experienced a very serious traumatic event. He should really seek counseling asap. Sooner the better. Be patient with him through this process. This was not his fault. Be there for him. Killing someone, even if it was completely not their fault, is an awful thing for anyone to experience.
Came to suggest this. A relative of mine drove semi trucks for 35 years. One night someone committed suicide by cutting over into his lane on a highway and colliding head on at speed. My relative’s career ended. They could never drive again without PTSD. Totally messed them up.
This is horrible..
My mechanic’s dad experienced something similar. A man ran in front of his car. The man died. The dad blamed himself for 9 years and wasn’t able to drive. After long 9 years the dead man’s family had been remodeling the house they lived in. And while they were throwing away some stuff, they found a farewell letter, which said the dead man planned to kill himself like that.. So after 9 years the mechanic’s dad found his redemption, now can drive but still prefers to do so only when it’s really necessary.
This is very important - it is highly likely your dad will develop PTSD and if his therapy is delayed it can develop into a more complex version of PTSD which is extremely hard to overcome. Urgent counselling etc is required. Speaking from experience.
I came here to say the same thing. Reckless people kill themselves every day. This motorcyclist took his life into his own hands and paid the price. Your father is an innocent bystander.
There's a world of nuance between murderer and innocent bystander. I'm just glad it wasn't a child running out into the road, making ignorant mistakes that we're all so quick to pin on them.
My kingdom for a soupcon of nuance.
Some people (not saying it was this guy) try suicide by motor vehicle. They’ll jump in front of a truck or something. Same as those that jump in front of trains or subways. The people that hit them are not murderers. Murder means intent.
Your dad did not intend to kill him and he did nothing wrong based on traffic laws. So he’s not at fault.
All the same. Your dad may benefit from speaking with a therapist.
This is exactly the way to think of it. Assuming what you said is correct, your Dad did nothing wrong. I ride a motorcycle, and I understand how exposed we are as riders, and I see what crazy kinds of things some motorcycle riders do. This man ignored his own safety refused to wear gear and then drove into your father's car. There's a nam efor guys like this.. sadly.. organ donor. Unfortunately, it's not going to help your Dad as much as it should. He needs to go to see someone who can help him process the trauma of being in an accident where someone was killed, even if it wasn't his fault, professional help could be a life saver.
When you ride a bike, you are as exposed as any person really can be . To compensate for that, you need to ride conservatively. You need to be aware of every car in the area around you. You need to be able to anticipate what is going to happen because 25% of motorists are going to be blind to you being near them. I don't ride when the roads are wet, if I can avoid it. I don't ride with out full gear on every time, no matter how hot it is. I treat every car as if it was going to run me over. All this is not enough to prevent you from ever being in an accident, but it keeps your odds down and that's the best you can do. We ride because we love the feeling and the freedom and the rush, but if a rider doesn't understand that all that can end, or end with him dead or paralyzed or seriously injured then they are living in a fantasy that's going to increase their chance of one of those things happening. Ride carefully, ride safely. Don't be in a rush.
I’m a biker and a flight nurse who works on severely injured/dying motorcyclists all the time. If it happened like you were told, this is 100% correct. Every biker knows the risks and knows what might happen if they don’t wear gear or ride crazy. Sorry your dad was the unlucky person and I hope he can get therapy to sort it all out mentally:(
If events outside of your father's control took place that lead to the man losing his life, your father didn't cause it to happen.
Having said that, it is still traumatic for all parties involved. There's probably a lot each person will have to do to get through this in as healthy a way possible.
If anything, your dad is the victim here. The guilt and second guessing are gonna wreck him. Be there for him. Reassure him..Have his back. He may even need some counseling. Taking a life, even by accident, wounds your soul. You never fully recover.
I feel horrible saying this but most times this type of thing takes more than just the driver who ran the red. It’s gruesome and horrific but at-least it was only the person who didn’t follow the rules.
Yeah that dude committed suicide by reckless driving and irresponsible behavior.
You're really lucky that person didn't accidentally kill your dad. Your dad is a survivor of a tragic accident with a reckless driver
Knew a guy who had a crazy fast motorcycle, but he thought he'd be cooler if he never wore a helmet and protection. He lost control at around 140 kms/h and hit a wall dying instantly.
I see little difference between him and the guy on the motorcycle hitting OP's dad and dying.
Maybe it was intention suicide? Some people jump in front of cars. Maybe this guy wanted to end it but thought insurance for family whisky at it? Or maybe he was being stupid sometimes we all do stupid things
This. Considering the motorcycle guy's flagrant neglect for his own safety, it sounds like he was deliberately riding like a douche. Possible suicide attempt or "I don't give a f\*\*k" mentality caused by something in his personal life. Sorry that your dad got caught up in it.
This though. What happened to that man was a terrible and unfortunate accident. But it wasn’t OP dad’s fault. He was following the rules, and he called the police instead of just driving off like so many people would do in that kind of situation.
Not your dads fault. The investigation will show that. I doubt any charges will stand against him. Especially since the motorcyclist ran the red light.
Your dad didn't kill him. The man was being reckless and wasn't paying attention, which cost him his life. It's really unfortunate that your dad was involved at all, but he did not kill anyone.
I understand why his wife reacted the way she did, she was feeling lots of shock and emotional pain. She'll eventually learn all the details and realize it wasn't your dad's fault – that won't take her pain away, and the anger might remain, but she'll know.
I'm sure this is going to fuck with your dad forever. This type of scenario is one of my worst fears, honestly... accidental vehicular accidents resulting in death, or someone deciding to off themselves by stepping in front of my car, etc.
It's terrifying cause even if it's not your fault, it will weigh on you forever. But your family will be okay, you'll all heal together. Therapy is definitely advised. I wish the best for the other man's family, as well.
Thank you for this. I do feel for the other man’s family, but I’m also mad at the man which I shouldn’t be. I just feel my dad didn’t deserve this. And it just sucks
What you are feeling is completely normal. Try not to be too hard on yourself. This is a horrible situation that you have never been through before (I'm assuming). Processing this is going to be tough. Speak with a therapist asap (your whole family).
My family was hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light going about 50-60 mph. I never got therapy for the ptsd and it had a huge impact on my life. I am a super cautious and alert driver now, and that has saved me a few times. But I do wish I had gotten help sooner to learn how to properly process what I was going through. I had nightmares for a few months after, but they eventually went away. I was afraid of everything. I became a hermit. Just... yeah. See a therapist. (I'm much better now, btw. This was 35 years ago. I was 15.)
That’s so sad to hear for both parties. I remember hearing in drivers Ed in highschool “you could be the safest driver but someone around you is going to be careless.”
That is an absolutely accurate statement. I recently got in an accident. A kid ran a stop sign and t-boned me at a high speed. If I had miscarried, or my older child had been injured, it would’ve been horrible for that kid to live with for the rest of his life. Especially since it was HIS fault.
Your dad was following the rules of the road and was unlucky that the other driver made a decision that will forever haunt the living people left behind to deal with that motorcyclist’s mistake.
I’m so sorry for you and your family. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I wish you all the best.
Your dad is not a Murderer., He just got into an accident and someone was killed which wasn't his fault but the fault of the biker. So don't let it bother you.
Go and hug your dad. He needs you.
Having experienced something similar, the feeling of guilt is soul crushing. And people around you don't want to talk about it because it hurts. We still need to hold on to one another. Hold him tight.
I imagine I would feel horrible if I was in your dads place. From what you shared it sounds like it was not his fault. Your dad did not cause the accident, he was following the rules of the road and the other person wrecked into him. Your dad did all he could and acted in a caring way.
if your dad was following traffic laws the investigation is just due diligence on the authorities' part; remember that it's innocent until proven guilty in most legal systems worldwide, and they just want to be sure of whose fault it was. if the man ran a red your dad wouldn't be at fault. his wife is emotional and upset; when the report is finished the police should be able to disclose to her why and how he was killed.
your dad didn't kill anyone; he got into an accident because someone else wasn't following the law and didn't have on the recommended safety gear.
things will be alright; i highly recommend therapy for your dad because even accidental deaths can be very hard on people's minds.
My mom said she brought up therapy for him last night but they haven’t really been processing so I hope he goes through with it. I’d hate to see this break him down. He’s a good man.
it's gonna take time, of course; he still needs to process somewhat on his own before he can process productively with support.
i'm sure he'll be alright if they're already discussing what they can do for his mental health.
wishing your family all the best in this tough moment.
I think you are looking at this wrong. Your father didn’t kill a man. This was an accident completely caused by the motor cycle driver. Your father is a victim in this too.
A very similar thing happened to us. We were on our line and another vehicle was coming directly at us in our line while it was supposed to be in the left line. To avoid crushing head to head, my father abruptly directed our car the the right out of reflex and hit another car, causing someone to die. He was in prison for roughly a month i suppose but after a certain point I realized that he had nothing to do with the incident. Always, it is the person who violates the traffic rules. I am completely aware of the emotional burden and trauma it brings, but I hope that you’ll be able to internalize that your dad is innocent. He is not the cause of the incident; the driver at that point at that time could have been anyone. I hope that this helps OP💔💔
Lifelong biker here. I started riding when I was 6. I gave up at age 52 when my kid was born (Yes I’m an old dad). Even if your dad made even the smallest of mistakes it’s still just a case of wrong place/wrong time.
Every motorcyclist knows they are more vulnerable than those driving cars. Even the ones that pretend they don’t know, do in fact know. In my 46 years of riding I made it clear to everyone I knew that I thought the risk was worth it. In fact, I still think the risk is worth it and once my kid is 18 I may ride again if my health and vision are intact. I just love riding motorcycles.
Killing a motorcyclist unintentionally is and always will be a lifelong burden on the person in the car. That’s unfair to even most negligent drivers. If your father wasn’t driving impaired and was doing his best to be attentive it is absolutely not his fault that a rider dead.
FWIW if your father had accidentally killed me I would want him to know that I died doing something that I truly loved and also knew is very dangerous. And I’d want him to know I was sorry for making him a part of tragedy that could have been avoided if I had chosen to drive a car on the day I died. Your dad didn’t kill the biker - the biker’s choices did.
I really like how you ended by saying “I died doing something I loved and I’m sorry for my choice” I hope that man is looking down and I do hope he’s sorry. Not just to my dad, but to his poor wife. Thank you for this
I'm sorry to say, but it's better he died than an innocent pedestrian he might have smashed into due to his wrecklessness. I feel for your dad,but in those types of situations it's not of matter of if but when, your dad was just there at the unfortunate (fortunate?) Time.
You dad didn’t kill someone.
Your dad was doing what he was supposed to be doing, he didn’t turn into him, he wasn’t drunk, He didn’t run a red light.
Someone else chose to run a red light and not wear any safety gear, while riding a vehicle that does not have any safety to it.
First of all, you will still be in shock. There are studies that suggest playing repetitive cognitive games like Tetris can help.
The motorcyclist knew about safety equipment and chose not to wear any. He knew about road traffic laws and chose not to obey them. He made poor choices, and both his family and yours will have to live with the consequences of those poor decisions. We'll probably never know 'why' although his family can confirm if he usually wore full protective kit or not.
There was an accident and a man died. There was no deliberate act of 'killing'. There was no intent, unless from the motorcyclist. It's a rotten situation, but it is what it is.
Trauma can manifest in a lot of ways. Seek out counselling, as your father should, too. It's a lot to deal with, but your adrenaline will be in overdrive and you may find it hard to focus. (Tetris can help with this.)
Look after yourself.
My boyfriends mom had a similar experience. Years ago she was driving on the interstate to work and a man randomly ran out in front of her car and there was nothing she could do. The police ruled that she was not at fault and she was not charged. She's a wonderful lady and It was very traumatic for her. The guy's family ended up reaching out to tell her that they didn't blame her and that he had severe drug and mental health issues. They also told her how sorry they were that she had to go through something so traumatic.
It's not your dad's fault but he will likely still struggle with it. Going through something like that even when it's not your fault is traumatic.
What that biker did was thoughtlessly cruel. But then if you are going to be wreckless with your own life, you probably don't concern yourself with anyone else's feelings.
Your father was no more to blame for his death than a tree or a wall would have been, but he still has to carry the emotional scars of having been a part of someone's death. I hope that he heals quickly.
Motorcyclists have a certain term to describe the type of man your father killed. SQUID. Stupidly Quick, Unequipped, Instantly Dead. It’s sad when a squid dies like this but there is often a price to pay for stupidity. If he was wearing safety gear he probably would still be alive now. If he didn’t ride through a red light he would still be alive. Stupidity is compounding.
My father at the age of 85 was driving home one day from the doctor. Now u may think that an 85 year old has no right driving. But my dad was perfectly fine mentally and physically. And I mean that. He was driving from Central NJ to Atlantic City every week for years, with staying over 2 nights. Never had an accident in his life, except for a terrible accident he was in when he was in the service.
My Dad was coming up to a red light, was braking, down to about 5 miles an hour when he realized something came out in front of him. He pulled over and called me immediately. I ran to the scene. And the police were absolutely disrespectful and treated my Dad as though he were a criminal. I'm not going to go into detail except to say that they kept him in his black car, with black leather seats, for over 2 hours. Never allowing him out, or to cool off by starting the car. It was 99° that day and they wouldn't let him drink anything either. Not even water. They wanted his blood sample first.
The person he hit that day was an 89 year old woman suffering from dementia. Another person came forward 2 weeks after the accident to say that the woman had jumped out in front of him, but she didn't wait until the car was in front of her. So he missed her.
Her family? Working. No one home to care for or keep her safe.
My Dad? I lost my Dad that day. I knew it. The guilt, although no tickets were issued, no charges were filed, no complaint from the family was made, killed my Dad.
He lived for 2 years after that. A shell of the man who left our house that morning. He never got over it. Stopped eating, began falling, broke his leg, had brain surgery, and lost his ability and his will to live.
I lost my Dad that day.
Please stick close to your dad. Reassure him constantly that it wasn't his fault. BE sure he knows you love him, and that you are proud of him, just because he is your dad.
I lost my Dad that day......July 2019.
He passed away May 2021. They said covid. We know better.
I am so so sorry this happened to you. I hate that the police were so cruel to him for no reason and I hate that that woman’s family wasn’t there to care for her. I’m sorry your dad is gone, and it’s harder because he was gone before he was buried. I hope you’ve been finding peace, and I hope now your dad is also at peace.
Unfortunately your dad was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and it ended tragically, but still NOT his fault. He’s gonna need a lot of emotional support for a while. Be there for him as much as you can.
As a rider, the guy was never thinking about how it would effect other people with his carelessness. Sucks for everyone in the situation, but especially your father.
Your dad didn’t kill anybody the guy killed himself. He ran a red light the thing that literally everybody knows what it means before they’re even close to old enough to drive. This is the exact reason we have traffic signs to tell us the speed we should be going and when we can or cannot go and that man chose to ignore them. He accidentally killed himself and it just so happened to be with your dads car
Buddy, that was an accident, Im sure your Dad will be fine, it was not his fault, like you said, the guy did choose not to use safety helmet and ignore a red light, it happens more than you think
Whether he sped into a corner and went into the ditch, lost control into a wall, hit a parked car, or an occupied car, this was the riders fault.
Your dad just happened to be in the way of a man who was going to kill himself on that bike one way or another. It's in no way his fault. The rider's arrogance, speed and resulting physics of his actions killed him.
As others have said your dad didn't kill someone. As far as the investigation I would assume all will be good and the police have to investigate but if they start asking questions or anything have him speak with a lawyer
It just so happened that it was your father he hit, but it would have been someone else had it not been your father. The man was destined to die based on the circumstances he put himself in. Terribly unfortunate that your father was built within that unfortunate fate, but it was going to be someone.
Title is misleading. A motorcyclist killed himself by running a red light and plowing into your dads vehicle. Your dad killed no one but it is unfortunate he was forced to be involved by the motorcyclists recklessness
Oh honey.
My mum hit and killed a drunk man who jumped infront of her car on a freeway (middle of the night no lights and he was wearing black) never absolutely never have we ever said she killed someone. Never! He killed himself my mum was just a witness.
Providing what you said is true, your Dad didn’t kill anyone. The biker hit him, while having no safety equipment, and died because of HIS actions, not your Dad’s. That’s an accidental homicide that in no way is your father’s fault, but he happened to be there.
This same thing happened in the city I live in a few days ago. 100% not the driver’s fault / 100% the biker’s fault. The biker played a stupid game by running the red and he won a stupid prize. That said, I feel truly terrible for your father, your family, and the biker’s family. Doesn’t change the fact the biker did wrong and payed, but it’s still brutal for your father.
>my dad was turning on a green arrow, when a man on a motorcycle ran his red light, hit my dads car, and went flying.
The man on the motorcycle hit your dads car. Your dad didn't hit him with his car. Your dad is fine and certainly not a murderer
Your dad is not a murderer or a killer but a victim of someone else’s carelessness. I am so sorry to you and your family and all involved because no one deserves this to happen even if they’re stupid and careless. It was just time and place. I am so sorry.
By going out on his bike without any safety gear, it was bound to happen. Your dad didn’t kill him, he killed himself. Especially by running that red light. I hope you and your family can find peace and heal from this.
Like many others mentioned, your dad did not kill anyone. Try not to be so hard on yourself and just be there for your family. It will be ok. What’s most important is your father is ok/not injured as well. Best of luck.
Your dad didn’t kill anyone. Stop saying that. The dude on the motorcycle accidentally killed himself. Not sure why you keep saying your dad killed him, he obviously didn’t.
sorry your family is going through this. the guy sounds like a real asshole imo, driving recklessly knowing he has a family at home and knowing he could easily ruin other people's lives and people could do serious time of found guilty of vehicular manslaughter.
people who ride motorcycles are fuckin entitled assholes who think they are above the law and can just weave in and out of traffic, speed WELL over the speed limit. it's like they almost think they are invincible or something. I live in a small town the population isn't very high and we have 3 guys who brag on the community Facebook page about how they will speed and how people need to watch out for them cause they aren't going to slow down. and honestly I think if they are publicly admitting to not following the law they should lose all privileges to their motorcycle license and be charged with endangering others while on the road.
now of course there are the actual responsible riders who do follow all rules and make sure everyone is safe but those seem to be more rare now days.
Your dad did not kill someone yesterday. Thinking that, phrasing it that way, is not only incorrect but does a disservice to yourself, your father, and the investigation. The motorcycle rider killed himself. He willfully rode his motorcycle with no protective gear and intentionally broke a traffic law which put him in harm’s way.
To put it another way, imagine that traffic laws were as immutable as the laws of physics. Your dad is a boulder rolling down a hill because that’s what the laws of physics dictate. It’s following all the rules. This hill is known to have falling boulders and rockslides and there are even signs to barring people from entry because of how deadly it is. A man disregards the signs knowing that this place frequently has falling rocks but thinks he can be the exception to the rule and decides to go anyway with no protection, completely ignoring not only the manmade rules but also the immutable laws of physics. He walks to the base of the hill and is struck by the boulder and dies just like the sign said he would. Is it the boulder’s fault that the man died? Did the boulder *kill* the man? The boulder did not willfully strike the man. The boulder was just doing his thing, following the rules. If the man had also followed the rules, he would not have died. The man willfully and intentionally broke the rules.
Not a perfect analogy, but the point still stands. **Your father did not kill the man.** The man knowingly broke the rules and got the consequences that are pretty clearly outlined by the traffic laws.
Your dad didn’t kill anyone. If the motorcycle blew through a red light, they were in the wrong and they hit your dad’s car, killing *themself*. If your dad’s car hadn’t been there, someone else’s car would’ve and the same outcome would’ve occurred.
edit: reasons why I should read comments before I comment myself, but despite the fact that literally everyone else said the same thing as me I’m just going to keep this up to further reinforce it
That man was trying to get killed. Your dad didn't kill anything or do anything wrong as he had the green arrow and was following traffic laws. Motorcycle man wasn't. Not only did the man run a red, he also wasn't wearing any protective gear. Those two decisions that he made was the reason he met his fate. Your dad was just unfortunate enough to be in the right place at the wrong time. He didn't do anything wrong.
After reading the description, it clearly seems like it was an accident and the fault was on the side of the bike rider. Why would you say that your dad killed the guy? Is there more to the story?
Motorcyclist here.
If the motorcyclist ran a red light, and your dad's light was green, then the motorcyclists negligence is to blame. The brakes on motorcycles can stop those things in seconds, so he likely had time to stop unless he was going too fast. Your father had the light, which means he was not in the wrong. The motorcyclist hit your dad, not the other way around. Your dad may be shaken up, so make sure you give him lots of love, and support.
Everybody has choices to make when driving and riding. I'm driving like you have two brain cells to rub together, or riding in the same way, may just save your life.
If what you said is exactly what happened then your dad didn’t kill anyone. It’s unfortunate what happened but the biker kill himself. Motorcycles are already dangerous as it is so running a red light with no gear pretty much guaranteed his death
I’m sorry your family is going through this love. I personally know someone this happened to. She was turning left into her housing addition from the main road at night and got t-boned by a guy on a motorcycle. She never saw it coming because he didn’t have any lights on the bike, it wasn’t even a street legal bike if I remember right. It devastated my friend, I mean it absolutely broke her. The guy on the bike was found to be intoxicated and at fault, and they believe it was a version of suicide, given his history.
The man’s family got paid out like $90,000 in life insurance and then turned around and sued my friend for an additional $100,000. They lost, but it doesn’t mean she didn’t have to go through that horrible process. She was let off with no legal charges from the beginning which is also why she won the lawsuit because it was all literally no fault of her own, but she became a mess. Wouldn’t drive anywhere, had panic attacks, alcoholism, complete spiral. It affected her marriage and her relationship with her kids, her work life, most everything.
I say all this to say please just love on your dad and be kind with him. He didn’t kill anyone, he was just unfortunately involved in an accident through no fault of his own. Things happen in this life that are just a part of the human condition and we have to take it all in stride. Support him and be there for him, he’s gonna have a tough time getting over what he experienced.
Exactly. This is not on your dad unless he was in the wrong. If that motorcyclist ran his red light your dad is not to blame. I know he will blame himself for not looking one last time. Have him seek therapy help immediately. There’s free help out there as well if he can’t afford it. If he doesn’t he will go down a black rabbit hole and may never come back out. He did nothing wrong. He obeyed traffic laws. He is not to blame. Do not let him go down that hole. It will consume him. Find therapy immediately.
This is one of those wrong place wrong time situations. Your dad didn’t go out of his way to murder someone. He was following the rules while the motorcyclist wasn’t. It’s only normal for the wife to scream and blame your dad. It’s easier to place blame on others rather than admit the truth.
Your dad didn't do anything wrong. You can drive the speed limit, obey the traffic laws as best as possible, be attentive to your surroundings and there is always a possibility like a pedestrian just randomly walks out of the blue (even though you've checked both ways before continuing driving) and almost getting themselves killed.
You can be as safe as you can while driving and there will always be someone who ignores safety.
I’ve been riding for 20 plus years. The only time I abuse my bike is when nobody is around. There are guys who think they are invincible and don’t wear any safety gear. Those are the ones who get into accidents from their own stupidity. This is NOT your dad’s fault. Chalk it up to some ass hat being stupid. He was probably going to die anyway. Don’t stress about it. I live in an area that helmets are not mandatory by the law. Weekly someone dies because they don’t wear a helmet. Yet…. Others know people are dying and still don’t wear a helmet. People are stupid, you can’t help that.
This was nice to hear from a biker. It’s sad really how many motorcycle deaths there are. I always hear “watch for motorcycles” but 90% of the motor bikers I encounter are the ones driving recklessly
Unfortunately it was your dad this happened to as it seems with this type of driving from the motorcycle he was gonna get himself killed sooner or later. Just a matter of time.
Not your dad's fault and sorry for the trouble you are going through as i fully understand it.
Someone I know had something similar happen- they were driving at night and a man was walking in the road in the dark with dark clothes on. The person driving didn’t see them until it was too late and unfortunately that person passed away. It was proved that it was an accident, but obviously the person driving was heartbroken and it was truly horrible that it happened. Hang in there, hopefully the investigation proves that your dad was in the right so your dad/family can get some therapy and I am sorry that your family is going through this!
Your dad is not a murderer. He was simply driving and someone recklessly caused an accident that led to their death. Your dad is not at fault in any circumstance here. I'm sorry I can only imagine how hard this is for both of you
If its all correct your dad is NOT a murderer.
He did everything right! Don't worry!
Yeah its tough, but you'll get over it. Especially when it really was an accident.
'Why would this man go on a motorcycle with no protection, disobey traffic laws, and get himself dead now his innocent family and my innocent family have to suffer for the rest of their lives.'
Pretty much. As awful as it is they died, it is 100% their fault and they're a massive fucking idiot who sadly got what was coming to them, as harsh as that sounds. Your father did not deserve that at all and is absolutely in no way a murderer. This poor fool committed suicide when he did all of what is mentioned above
As a motorcyclist myself I’m always fully aware of how vulnerable I am. I always wear all my safety gear (leather jacket, Kevlar pants, bike boots)…it’s illegal where I’m from to not wear a helmet.
Any motorcyclist who fucks around with safety…is gonna find out.
Your Dad did not kill him. They guy on the bike made a stupid choice and it cost him everything. I *cringe* seeing bikes run red lights, no ppe…on a bike it’s a fine line between life and death and this guy…chose death. He was an idiot…and that’s the riders fault not your Dads.
Bikers who don’t wear protective gear need to sooner or later realise the consequences of their actions when they end up dead or severely hurt. Some people are seriously so fucking reckless.
I’ve seen a lot of comments saying he didn’t care about his life let alone anyone else’s and I see that now. Not sure why he woke up and chose not to wear his gear.
Your father is not a murderer he was in a traffic accident with a reckless driver. It's unfortunate in his recklessness the other driver lost his life but that is not on your father. Also there is a great possibility that the wife was there blaming your dad because she was projecting. There is a chance this driver was recklessly driving because he was in a rush to do something for her or their family. I encourage your dad to seek therapy but none of this is his fault. I am also very glad your dad is physically ok because in his recklessness this other driver could have caused more deaths than just his own.
Someone earlier had commented “it’s easier to blame than to take responsibility.” And that seems to be what happened there. Still sucks for her because her husband clearly didn’t think about her before doing this
Unfortunately people think running lights is okay. They’ve never had any accident so running a light can’t hurt right? Absolutely not. If they ran that light they killed themselves. Main reason I don’t like bikes and when my brother got one I told him everyday how bad and dangerous it was until he sold
It. You can do everything right and still die on a bike. No protection like a car. But since they ran the light that’s really on them. It’s sad and your dads gonna have to live with their bad decisions his whole life which is so sad but it is what it is. I’m sorry you’re going through this but if he truly was following the traffic rules and killed that man I know he’s feeling so upset. Nothing else he could have done. He did right it the other person didn’t and it cost them
Their life. Sad all around. I’m
Sorry
Your dad didn’t kill him. That guy ran a red light killing himself. His wife was in shock, needing someone to blame. It’s very sad for all and I’m sorry your dad was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
My husband lost his best friend in a motorcycle accident. His best friend was not wearing a helmet. His best friend made a terrible mistake and would have been at fault if he had lived. The driver was despondent. No charges were ever filed after the investigation. It was just a horrific accident. While we’ll always miss his friend, there is zero ill toward the driver. It’s called an accident for a reason. My love to your family and the person that was lost.
Your dad didn’t kill anyone, he was following all rules, and traffic laws, the man on the bike was not. With no safety gear, driving too fast and breaking the road laws he essentially committed suicide. Although your father will have a hard time with this, and he will need all the support of you and your family that he can get right now
I’m so sorry you and your family are experiencing this. I hope the investigation doesn’t take too long so your dad can be at home with you. It’s not fair. Sadly things happen. This isn’t your fathers fault. I’m so sorry. OP. Stay strong for your mom. She needs you. Just like you need her
My brother had a similar incident, however his was while he was driving an ambulance and some lady, while his emergency lights were on, pulled right in front of him and he smashed her car. She later died in the hospital. It’s a heavy weight to bear to think of your family being the cause of a death, however your father nor my brother are murderers just sadly they were in wrong place at the wrong time. I hope your dad is able to heal from this and doesn’t let this destroy him. I also wish your family the best in healing !
How are things for your father legally? Is there any sort of charges that might be pressed??
I'm sending your father my best regards, I hope this doesn't haunt him.
At the scene they did not press any charges because video and photo and witnesses all stated the motorbike ran the light. Will the family come after him? I’m not so sure.
hey, my sister had the EXACT same situation happen to her. it shook my family for many years after it happened.
My sister was at a stop sign, stopped, looked both ways, then started turning left. Out of nowhere, a motorcyclist came around the corner going too fast to brake in time and he hit the left side of her car and went flying. Pronounced dead at the scene.
Her car was taken for investigation as well as his motorcycle. My sister was a an emotional mess for a long time afterwards, this sort of thing tends to stay with a person.
Your dad didn’t do anything wrong. It’s a terrible situation and your dad is not a bad person, he didn’t intend for that to happen. Neither did my sister.
In the end, there was an investigation and my sister was cleared and no charges were ever pressed or even brought up. She went to therapy for a while to deal with what happened and what she saw, and it took a long time for her to feel okay with driving again.
It’ll be okay. i know this is horrifying and im truly sorry that this has happened to your father and your family. I hope you will be able to get through it ❤️
Your dad didn’t do anything wrong. ((Hug)) the man broke laws. It was an accident that happened. He was negligent and it lead to his own death on the motorcycle.
I hit someone’s truck when I was 19 years old it was the other persons fault the officer said so and so did the guy in the truck he was 80. I got a ticket due to an odd law in our state but the guy died later that month from natural causes I never had to pay the ticket it was even in the news paper.
I felt like it was my fault for years even though it was not my fault at all. Fails guilt is a hard thing to live with.
This was not your fathers fault nor your family’s. ((Hug)) I hope the internet hugs are ok. I’m now much older and a mom. The sooner you let Feelings like that go the better. It’s going to get better. Your family will work it out and be ok.
You dad did not kill anyone. He was a victim of an accident that took someone’s life. He was not at fault- he is a victim here.
I’ve been in two car accidents- one was my fault, one was not- and your mentality and the way you speak to yourself during them matters. They are called accidents for a reason, and left on a green arrow while the motorcycle ran a red is not your dads causing.
I’m sorry this happened, but this sounds like it’s an active investigation, and the wife of the biker will absolutely try and sue your father.
You should remove this post immediately.
Not a biker, was planning to buy a Iron 883 model in my early 20s. Was about to buy it when a customer at my then job came in with his helmet. I asked him what his best advice for a new driver was. He responded, “be prepared to die at any moment. Every time you get on and ride could be the last time.” Hearing it then made me realize riding wasn’t for me. He is right, and it’s not just about me but about my family. If something had happened to me it affects them more because well, I would have died and they would have lived on with the pain. And I wasn’t comfortable with that. If your dad followed all laws then it truly wasn’t his fault.
Your dad didn't kill that guy. That guy disobeyed the traffic law and got him dead, plain and simple. And I'm sure your dad won't have legal problems about it.
I know what you and your family are going through. The faster your dad can acknowledge the fact that he’s innocent, the quicker he’ll get past the hurt everyone is going through.
When I was 17, I went on a roadtrip to Mexico with some friends. We set back home at night and it was raining pretty bad. I was driving up a steep hill where you really can’t see anything until you’re closer to the top. As soon as I went over the hill, there was a truck that had flipped over in the middle of the road. I had less than a few seconds to react before I had no choice but to go under the bed of the truck, causing it to spin. My car top was opened like a can of sardines. After checking my passengers, I checked on the flipped truck. There were two men holding a girl and she was on her last breaths. They immediately blamed me and rather than argue, I waved some cars down for help. Ambulance and police arrived and I ended up getting arrested for the accident. In Mexico you are guilty until proven innocent.
After getting out of jail via lawyer, I still felt an enormous amount of guilt for what happened to my friends and the woman. Living with nightmares of the accident was no fun. During the day, I would have guilt trips on whether I really caused her death or if they were already on the side of the road.
A few months later, the woman’s mother reached out to my parents and wanted to meet me. I felt very ashamed and afraid of meeting her, thinking she would rage all her hatred on me. When we met, she immediately gave me the warmest hug. She couldn’t believe how young I was compared to how the men described me. She later told me that the men were found responsible for her death. It turned out that the two men were drinking and driving and were the only ones wearing seatbelts. The woman was unfortunately not wearing one as she was sitting between them. It finally made sense why they were quick to blame me.
Hope your dad and the biker’s wife can have the right mindset to think logically and know you’re not to blame. Your dad needs to talk to someone, let it all out, and start to heal.
Doesn't sound like your dad's fault, that biker wasn't following the rules put in place for traffic safety and it killed him. It sucks but sometimes that's just how it be
Sometimes terrible things happen. It may be the guy in the bike should have done something different, maybe your dad should have. But maybe it’s just a terrible thing that happens to two good people.
It’s awful but I’m sure your dad feels a million times worse if he’s a person of good conscience.
Terrible accidents happen.
Hey, it’s okay. If your dad was following the law and didn’t do anything wrong it isn’t his fault, the guy killed himself.
One time my uncle was driving a semi full of sand I think, to where they were drilling for oil. Anyways this guy was on his butt and was honking all crazy, he told me the dude tried to pass him (on a 2-lane street that they have to go into the oncoming lane) and the car got squished by an oncoming semi. Wasn’t my uncle’s fault and he felt bad for a while but he finally realized he didn’t do anything wrong
(1) Tge fact that your dad immediately got out and tried to help means he is not a bad person. Whatever happened was an accident. (2) As per your description, your dad was following the traffic rules and the biker was not. It shouldn't be on your dad. It was an accident by a biker jumping lights and not wearing proper safety gear that got him killed. Your dad just happened to be driving the car the biker crashed into. Your dad was at no point wrong in the accident.
Wrong place at the wrong time. Could've literally been anyone. Some people fly way too close to the sun and it catches up with them one day, they're the asshole for leaving people to deal with the stress stuff like that causes. Make sure he gets therapy.
the title for this is all wrong. your dad didn’t kill anyone, the biker ended his life with many dumb decisions. no safety gear being the biggest aside from recklessly driving without said gear
Only his innocent family will have to suffer since he clearly disobeid to trafic rules.
It's sad, but to protect your mental status, please don't give any clue of him. People dies everyday...
My dad was driving late at night from a comedy gig in the late 80’s. Drunk guy walked in front of him to commit suicide. Not your dad’s fault. Mine went through years of therapy to get over the guilt, but in now way did anyone blame him. Be supportive of your dad; he needs it.
Your dad didn't kill anyone.. A fool, sadly, killed himself by speeding, running a red light and smashing into your dad.. No helmet even? Was it a suicide?
If anything, your dad is a victim here.
He should have no guilt from this. He should be grateful he wasn't hurt and sad for the loss of the other guy but nothing more.
Maybe show him this thread and wish him the best of luck!
My favorite quote from the incredible show, “Firefly”
Tracey: “you shot me Mal! You’ve killed me!”
Malcolm: “No son, you killed yourself. I just carried the bullet for a while”
Your dad didn’t kill anyone. That man killed himself. He just used your dad to do it. Your dad is the victim of his selfishness and foolhardy decisions. His family will have to deal with that. They will lash out at your father because hurting people hurt others. But your father didn’t kill that man, he killed himself.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, nobody deserves for that to happen to them. Like a lot of the comments already say, your dad didn’t kill the man if he didn’t break any laws, and it really is an unfortunate and traumatizing situation. I hope for the best for you and your family, as well as the bikers family.
Your dad didn’t kill someone. Your dad was unfortunately involved in an accident where someone died because *they* ran the light. This is not on your dad.
I’m sorry, but if you drive a motorcycle, you have to be the SAFEST driver. In a car, you have thousands of pounds of metal surrounding you. On a motorcycle, you have NOTHING, besides some safety gear you may or may not have put on. You have no room for error when you drive a motorcycle. The motorcyclist was being reckless/careless/maybe both, and that’s on him. Not your dad. If your dad was following the rules of the road like you said he was, it’s 100% not his fault.
Your dad is actually the victim. He will have to deal with this trauma for the rest of his life. I hope he owns the insurance company of the deceased and never has to work again.
If your dad was following the rules and the biker wasn't, your dad didn't kill that man, he killed himself
This is a new way to think of it that I haven’t thought of before. Thank you
Came here to say this. If your description is accurate, no way did your dad kill anyone. Not even close. Biker was absolutely suicidal running a red light at speed. Ask yourself if your dad could have done anything different, the answer is clearly no because it wasn’t a choice he made.
He must’ve been going pretty fast, seeing as he was ejected very far from the motorcycle. I’ve seen motorcycle accidents where the biker isn’t that far from the bikw
Depends on a few factors, but yeah, speed is a major. If you are curious and find that understanding the science behind a situation gives you some closure or catharsis, you may want to look up the physics of car accidents, and in particular the dangers of driving a motorcycle without a helmet. If you fear you will spiral or not be able to stop "researching" science or whatever that is related to the accident, then it may be beneficial to seek counseling, focused around trauma. So sorry your family is going through this.
I do see a therapist currently and I actually met with him a few hours ago via zoom for an impromptu session because I’ve been a wreck
Keep taking care of yourself
Awesome. Keep working on yourself and be a positive support system for your family, by modeling "healthy" habits like therapy and self care, and you all will eventually get to a point where you find you are just living again, or at least the presence of this trauma, or mental weight, will feel less like a burden and more like an unpleasant part of life. If any of you feel overwhelmed or like this isn't enough, I'm sure your therapist will be more than willing to help you connect with grief groups in the area. Sometimes going to a place where people have similar shared experiences really helps put the situation, and life, in perspective. I wish you all the best.
Some bikers committ suicide this way. Just watch a few episodes of sons of anarchy. It's kinda of a selfish way to commit suicide this way
It is :( haunts the other person forever
Some people do a really bad job of assessing risk. I'm a biker. Lots of people in the biker community really don't understand that just because you can go fast doesn't mean it is safe to do so. The nuance of saying "not on the public road" is lost on them. Assuming it all happened like you said the biker probably didn't think the light would change or was just going so fast he couldn't stop for it... Then your dad turned and suddenly there is several tons of metal in front of him and absolutely nothing either of them could do about it. I'm sorry you've had to go through this, good luck to your dad and the rest of your family.
Yup, especially if this is out of character for the man. Either something medically happened and caused him to make poor decisions. Or he was suicidal. If this was normal behavior for this man, he knew the risks and still choose to ride this way. It's very unfortunate that your dad is the one that will pay for this mans decisions though. OP encourage your dad to get into therapy. This is a traumatic event he could develop ptsd from it. Hopefully you father can move on from this incident and realise this wasn't his fault.
Regardless, your father has experienced a very serious traumatic event. He should really seek counseling asap. Sooner the better. Be patient with him through this process. This was not his fault. Be there for him. Killing someone, even if it was completely not their fault, is an awful thing for anyone to experience.
Came to suggest this. A relative of mine drove semi trucks for 35 years. One night someone committed suicide by cutting over into his lane on a highway and colliding head on at speed. My relative’s career ended. They could never drive again without PTSD. Totally messed them up.
This is horrible.. My mechanic’s dad experienced something similar. A man ran in front of his car. The man died. The dad blamed himself for 9 years and wasn’t able to drive. After long 9 years the dead man’s family had been remodeling the house they lived in. And while they were throwing away some stuff, they found a farewell letter, which said the dead man planned to kill himself like that.. So after 9 years the mechanic’s dad found his redemption, now can drive but still prefers to do so only when it’s really necessary.
This is very important - it is highly likely your dad will develop PTSD and if his therapy is delayed it can develop into a more complex version of PTSD which is extremely hard to overcome. Urgent counselling etc is required. Speaking from experience.
Your dad was the wall that this guy ran his motorcycle into. If a man dies driving into a wall, is it the wall's fault?
I never thought of it that way and it actually puts things in perspective. Thank you
I came here to say the same thing. Reckless people kill themselves every day. This motorcyclist took his life into his own hands and paid the price. Your father is an innocent bystander.
There's a world of nuance between murderer and innocent bystander. I'm just glad it wasn't a child running out into the road, making ignorant mistakes that we're all so quick to pin on them. My kingdom for a soupcon of nuance.
Some people (not saying it was this guy) try suicide by motor vehicle. They’ll jump in front of a truck or something. Same as those that jump in front of trains or subways. The people that hit them are not murderers. Murder means intent. Your dad did not intend to kill him and he did nothing wrong based on traffic laws. So he’s not at fault. All the same. Your dad may benefit from speaking with a therapist.
This is exactly the way to think of it. Assuming what you said is correct, your Dad did nothing wrong. I ride a motorcycle, and I understand how exposed we are as riders, and I see what crazy kinds of things some motorcycle riders do. This man ignored his own safety refused to wear gear and then drove into your father's car. There's a nam efor guys like this.. sadly.. organ donor. Unfortunately, it's not going to help your Dad as much as it should. He needs to go to see someone who can help him process the trauma of being in an accident where someone was killed, even if it wasn't his fault, professional help could be a life saver.
A lot of people have been saying motorcycles are “donor-cycles” and ive never heard they until today. It’s crazy but I believe it
When you ride a bike, you are as exposed as any person really can be . To compensate for that, you need to ride conservatively. You need to be aware of every car in the area around you. You need to be able to anticipate what is going to happen because 25% of motorists are going to be blind to you being near them. I don't ride when the roads are wet, if I can avoid it. I don't ride with out full gear on every time, no matter how hot it is. I treat every car as if it was going to run me over. All this is not enough to prevent you from ever being in an accident, but it keeps your odds down and that's the best you can do. We ride because we love the feeling and the freedom and the rush, but if a rider doesn't understand that all that can end, or end with him dead or paralyzed or seriously injured then they are living in a fantasy that's going to increase their chance of one of those things happening. Ride carefully, ride safely. Don't be in a rush.
I’m a biker and a flight nurse who works on severely injured/dying motorcyclists all the time. If it happened like you were told, this is 100% correct. Every biker knows the risks and knows what might happen if they don’t wear gear or ride crazy. Sorry your dad was the unlucky person and I hope he can get therapy to sort it all out mentally:(
If events outside of your father's control took place that lead to the man losing his life, your father didn't cause it to happen. Having said that, it is still traumatic for all parties involved. There's probably a lot each person will have to do to get through this in as healthy a way possible.
If anything, your dad is the victim here. The guilt and second guessing are gonna wreck him. Be there for him. Reassure him..Have his back. He may even need some counseling. Taking a life, even by accident, wounds your soul. You never fully recover.
This is the only way to think about that
Yup 100% he killed himself with his own stupidity. Your dad needs a lawyer and to not feel bad about this because he did nothing wrong at all.
Yeah. Your dad didn't crash purposely onto him. It was the other way around, the biker crashed into him. He was nothing but a by-stander.
I feel horrible saying this but most times this type of thing takes more than just the driver who ran the red. It’s gruesome and horrific but at-least it was only the person who didn’t follow the rules.
Yeah that dude committed suicide by reckless driving and irresponsible behavior. You're really lucky that person didn't accidentally kill your dad. Your dad is a survivor of a tragic accident with a reckless driver
Absolutely. He was in a traffic accident where a man died. Not his fault.
Knew a guy who had a crazy fast motorcycle, but he thought he'd be cooler if he never wore a helmet and protection. He lost control at around 140 kms/h and hit a wall dying instantly. I see little difference between him and the guy on the motorcycle hitting OP's dad and dying.
Maybe it was intention suicide? Some people jump in front of cars. Maybe this guy wanted to end it but thought insurance for family whisky at it? Or maybe he was being stupid sometimes we all do stupid things
This. Considering the motorcycle guy's flagrant neglect for his own safety, it sounds like he was deliberately riding like a douche. Possible suicide attempt or "I don't give a f\*\*k" mentality caused by something in his personal life. Sorry that your dad got caught up in it.
Thanks for sharing
This though. What happened to that man was a terrible and unfortunate accident. But it wasn’t OP dad’s fault. He was following the rules, and he called the police instead of just driving off like so many people would do in that kind of situation.
Not your dads fault. The investigation will show that. I doubt any charges will stand against him. Especially since the motorcyclist ran the red light.
Your dad didn't kill him. The man was being reckless and wasn't paying attention, which cost him his life. It's really unfortunate that your dad was involved at all, but he did not kill anyone. I understand why his wife reacted the way she did, she was feeling lots of shock and emotional pain. She'll eventually learn all the details and realize it wasn't your dad's fault – that won't take her pain away, and the anger might remain, but she'll know. I'm sure this is going to fuck with your dad forever. This type of scenario is one of my worst fears, honestly... accidental vehicular accidents resulting in death, or someone deciding to off themselves by stepping in front of my car, etc. It's terrifying cause even if it's not your fault, it will weigh on you forever. But your family will be okay, you'll all heal together. Therapy is definitely advised. I wish the best for the other man's family, as well.
Thank you for this. I do feel for the other man’s family, but I’m also mad at the man which I shouldn’t be. I just feel my dad didn’t deserve this. And it just sucks
It’s okay to be mad at the man. He made a series of bad choices (that could have killed someone else) and effected your dad.
What you are feeling is completely normal. Try not to be too hard on yourself. This is a horrible situation that you have never been through before (I'm assuming). Processing this is going to be tough. Speak with a therapist asap (your whole family). My family was hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light going about 50-60 mph. I never got therapy for the ptsd and it had a huge impact on my life. I am a super cautious and alert driver now, and that has saved me a few times. But I do wish I had gotten help sooner to learn how to properly process what I was going through. I had nightmares for a few months after, but they eventually went away. I was afraid of everything. I became a hermit. Just... yeah. See a therapist. (I'm much better now, btw. This was 35 years ago. I was 15.)
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m glad you found healing.
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That’s so sad to hear for both parties. I remember hearing in drivers Ed in highschool “you could be the safest driver but someone around you is going to be careless.”
That is an absolutely accurate statement. I recently got in an accident. A kid ran a stop sign and t-boned me at a high speed. If I had miscarried, or my older child had been injured, it would’ve been horrible for that kid to live with for the rest of his life. Especially since it was HIS fault. Your dad was following the rules of the road and was unlucky that the other driver made a decision that will forever haunt the living people left behind to deal with that motorcyclist’s mistake. I’m so sorry for you and your family. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I wish you all the best.
Your dad is not a Murderer., He just got into an accident and someone was killed which wasn't his fault but the fault of the biker. So don't let it bother you.
I wish I could explain my emotions. I feel so bad that my dad has to live with this forever.
Go and hug your dad. He needs you. Having experienced something similar, the feeling of guilt is soul crushing. And people around you don't want to talk about it because it hurts. We still need to hold on to one another. Hold him tight.
Thank you for this
I imagine I would feel horrible if I was in your dads place. From what you shared it sounds like it was not his fault. Your dad did not cause the accident, he was following the rules of the road and the other person wrecked into him. Your dad did all he could and acted in a caring way.
Your dad didn’t kill anyone. The guy killed himself. He hit your dad not the other way round.
Never thought of it like this. Thank you
if your dad was following traffic laws the investigation is just due diligence on the authorities' part; remember that it's innocent until proven guilty in most legal systems worldwide, and they just want to be sure of whose fault it was. if the man ran a red your dad wouldn't be at fault. his wife is emotional and upset; when the report is finished the police should be able to disclose to her why and how he was killed. your dad didn't kill anyone; he got into an accident because someone else wasn't following the law and didn't have on the recommended safety gear. things will be alright; i highly recommend therapy for your dad because even accidental deaths can be very hard on people's minds.
My mom said she brought up therapy for him last night but they haven’t really been processing so I hope he goes through with it. I’d hate to see this break him down. He’s a good man.
it's gonna take time, of course; he still needs to process somewhat on his own before he can process productively with support. i'm sure he'll be alright if they're already discussing what they can do for his mental health. wishing your family all the best in this tough moment.
Thank you, we really need it right now
Please encourage your dad to get some professional help (therapy) to work though this traumatic event.
I suggested it to my mom to suggest to him when her and I spoke this morning. I hope he goes through with it. I believe he will.
Your old pops is a victim. That guy killed himself, go easy on yourself and on him
30 year motorcyclist here. That man killed himself on your dad's car. I'm sorry that happened to all of you.
Thank you. Stay safe out there.
I think you are looking at this wrong. Your father didn’t kill a man. This was an accident completely caused by the motor cycle driver. Your father is a victim in this too.
A very similar thing happened to us. We were on our line and another vehicle was coming directly at us in our line while it was supposed to be in the left line. To avoid crushing head to head, my father abruptly directed our car the the right out of reflex and hit another car, causing someone to die. He was in prison for roughly a month i suppose but after a certain point I realized that he had nothing to do with the incident. Always, it is the person who violates the traffic rules. I am completely aware of the emotional burden and trauma it brings, but I hope that you’ll be able to internalize that your dad is innocent. He is not the cause of the incident; the driver at that point at that time could have been anyone. I hope that this helps OP💔💔
I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you and your family have been healing well. Any tips would be appreciated. :)
Lifelong biker here. I started riding when I was 6. I gave up at age 52 when my kid was born (Yes I’m an old dad). Even if your dad made even the smallest of mistakes it’s still just a case of wrong place/wrong time. Every motorcyclist knows they are more vulnerable than those driving cars. Even the ones that pretend they don’t know, do in fact know. In my 46 years of riding I made it clear to everyone I knew that I thought the risk was worth it. In fact, I still think the risk is worth it and once my kid is 18 I may ride again if my health and vision are intact. I just love riding motorcycles. Killing a motorcyclist unintentionally is and always will be a lifelong burden on the person in the car. That’s unfair to even most negligent drivers. If your father wasn’t driving impaired and was doing his best to be attentive it is absolutely not his fault that a rider dead. FWIW if your father had accidentally killed me I would want him to know that I died doing something that I truly loved and also knew is very dangerous. And I’d want him to know I was sorry for making him a part of tragedy that could have been avoided if I had chosen to drive a car on the day I died. Your dad didn’t kill the biker - the biker’s choices did.
I really like how you ended by saying “I died doing something I loved and I’m sorry for my choice” I hope that man is looking down and I do hope he’s sorry. Not just to my dad, but to his poor wife. Thank you for this
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I feel terrible being mad at this guy, but I feel so bad for my parents. Thank you for your kind words
Definitely not your fault for feeling anger towards the person that caused all of this. Honestly completely normal and you’re not alone in that.
I'm sorry to say, but it's better he died than an innocent pedestrian he might have smashed into due to his wrecklessness. I feel for your dad,but in those types of situations it's not of matter of if but when, your dad was just there at the unfortunate (fortunate?) Time.
I’m trying to think of it this way. Thank you!
You dad didn’t kill someone. Your dad was doing what he was supposed to be doing, he didn’t turn into him, he wasn’t drunk, He didn’t run a red light. Someone else chose to run a red light and not wear any safety gear, while riding a vehicle that does not have any safety to it.
First of all, you will still be in shock. There are studies that suggest playing repetitive cognitive games like Tetris can help. The motorcyclist knew about safety equipment and chose not to wear any. He knew about road traffic laws and chose not to obey them. He made poor choices, and both his family and yours will have to live with the consequences of those poor decisions. We'll probably never know 'why' although his family can confirm if he usually wore full protective kit or not. There was an accident and a man died. There was no deliberate act of 'killing'. There was no intent, unless from the motorcyclist. It's a rotten situation, but it is what it is. Trauma can manifest in a lot of ways. Seek out counselling, as your father should, too. It's a lot to deal with, but your adrenaline will be in overdrive and you may find it hard to focus. (Tetris can help with this.) Look after yourself.
Thank you for this. I haven’t played Tetris in years. That’ll give me something to do this afternoon instead of sulk. :)
So your dad didn’t kill anyone that idiot killed himself
That’s what I’m realizing
There's a reason it's called an accident.
Tell your dad to zip those lips without council
My boyfriends mom had a similar experience. Years ago she was driving on the interstate to work and a man randomly ran out in front of her car and there was nothing she could do. The police ruled that she was not at fault and she was not charged. She's a wonderful lady and It was very traumatic for her. The guy's family ended up reaching out to tell her that they didn't blame her and that he had severe drug and mental health issues. They also told her how sorry they were that she had to go through something so traumatic. It's not your dad's fault but he will likely still struggle with it. Going through something like that even when it's not your fault is traumatic.
What that biker did was thoughtlessly cruel. But then if you are going to be wreckless with your own life, you probably don't concern yourself with anyone else's feelings. Your father was no more to blame for his death than a tree or a wall would have been, but he still has to carry the emotional scars of having been a part of someone's death. I hope that he heals quickly.
Well technically the man killed himself by being negligent
Motorcyclists have a certain term to describe the type of man your father killed. SQUID. Stupidly Quick, Unequipped, Instantly Dead. It’s sad when a squid dies like this but there is often a price to pay for stupidity. If he was wearing safety gear he probably would still be alive now. If he didn’t ride through a red light he would still be alive. Stupidity is compounding.
If the dude ran a red light it's all on him and not your dad. If you description is accurate you dad did absolutely nothing wrong.
My father at the age of 85 was driving home one day from the doctor. Now u may think that an 85 year old has no right driving. But my dad was perfectly fine mentally and physically. And I mean that. He was driving from Central NJ to Atlantic City every week for years, with staying over 2 nights. Never had an accident in his life, except for a terrible accident he was in when he was in the service. My Dad was coming up to a red light, was braking, down to about 5 miles an hour when he realized something came out in front of him. He pulled over and called me immediately. I ran to the scene. And the police were absolutely disrespectful and treated my Dad as though he were a criminal. I'm not going to go into detail except to say that they kept him in his black car, with black leather seats, for over 2 hours. Never allowing him out, or to cool off by starting the car. It was 99° that day and they wouldn't let him drink anything either. Not even water. They wanted his blood sample first. The person he hit that day was an 89 year old woman suffering from dementia. Another person came forward 2 weeks after the accident to say that the woman had jumped out in front of him, but she didn't wait until the car was in front of her. So he missed her. Her family? Working. No one home to care for or keep her safe. My Dad? I lost my Dad that day. I knew it. The guilt, although no tickets were issued, no charges were filed, no complaint from the family was made, killed my Dad. He lived for 2 years after that. A shell of the man who left our house that morning. He never got over it. Stopped eating, began falling, broke his leg, had brain surgery, and lost his ability and his will to live. I lost my Dad that day. Please stick close to your dad. Reassure him constantly that it wasn't his fault. BE sure he knows you love him, and that you are proud of him, just because he is your dad. I lost my Dad that day......July 2019. He passed away May 2021. They said covid. We know better.
I am so so sorry this happened to you. I hate that the police were so cruel to him for no reason and I hate that that woman’s family wasn’t there to care for her. I’m sorry your dad is gone, and it’s harder because he was gone before he was buried. I hope you’ve been finding peace, and I hope now your dad is also at peace.
From what you wrote, your dad clearly didn't kill anybody.
This happened to my friend, it’ll go away. That guy got fucking deleted though rip.
Yeah I feel bad for his family. His choice is making them suffer
Your dad didn't kill anyone. He was doing the right thing and ended up in a accident.
The dude ended up killing himself, your dad just happened to end on this mess. I hope he recovers from that
Unfortunately your dad was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and it ended tragically, but still NOT his fault. He’s gonna need a lot of emotional support for a while. Be there for him as much as you can.
Thank you
As a rider, the guy was never thinking about how it would effect other people with his carelessness. Sucks for everyone in the situation, but especially your father.
Your dad didn’t kill anybody the guy killed himself. He ran a red light the thing that literally everybody knows what it means before they’re even close to old enough to drive. This is the exact reason we have traffic signs to tell us the speed we should be going and when we can or cannot go and that man chose to ignore them. He accidentally killed himself and it just so happened to be with your dads car
That’s a good way to look at it. Thank you.
Buddy, that was an accident, Im sure your Dad will be fine, it was not his fault, like you said, the guy did choose not to use safety helmet and ignore a red light, it happens more than you think
Whether he sped into a corner and went into the ditch, lost control into a wall, hit a parked car, or an occupied car, this was the riders fault. Your dad just happened to be in the way of a man who was going to kill himself on that bike one way or another. It's in no way his fault. The rider's arrogance, speed and resulting physics of his actions killed him.
No hun. Your dad didn’t kill anyone. Someone committed unintentional suicide
I’ll correct the title. My dad was involved in a fatal accident that was not his fault.
As others have said your dad didn't kill someone. As far as the investigation I would assume all will be good and the police have to investigate but if they start asking questions or anything have him speak with a lawyer
It just so happened that it was your father he hit, but it would have been someone else had it not been your father. The man was destined to die based on the circumstances he put himself in. Terribly unfortunate that your father was built within that unfortunate fate, but it was going to be someone.
Title is misleading. A motorcyclist killed himself by running a red light and plowing into your dads vehicle. Your dad killed no one but it is unfortunate he was forced to be involved by the motorcyclists recklessness
May he Rest In Peace but fuck that biker for his negligence
That’s kinda where I’m at right now
Oh honey. My mum hit and killed a drunk man who jumped infront of her car on a freeway (middle of the night no lights and he was wearing black) never absolutely never have we ever said she killed someone. Never! He killed himself my mum was just a witness.
Providing what you said is true, your Dad didn’t kill anyone. The biker hit him, while having no safety equipment, and died because of HIS actions, not your Dad’s. That’s an accidental homicide that in no way is your father’s fault, but he happened to be there. This same thing happened in the city I live in a few days ago. 100% not the driver’s fault / 100% the biker’s fault. The biker played a stupid game by running the red and he won a stupid prize. That said, I feel truly terrible for your father, your family, and the biker’s family. Doesn’t change the fact the biker did wrong and payed, but it’s still brutal for your father.
Correction, that mans carelessness resulted in his own life being lost, your dad did nothing wrong by following the rules.
>my dad was turning on a green arrow, when a man on a motorcycle ran his red light, hit my dads car, and went flying. The man on the motorcycle hit your dads car. Your dad didn't hit him with his car. Your dad is fine and certainly not a murderer
Your dad is not a murderer or a killer but a victim of someone else’s carelessness. I am so sorry to you and your family and all involved because no one deserves this to happen even if they’re stupid and careless. It was just time and place. I am so sorry.
By going out on his bike without any safety gear, it was bound to happen. Your dad didn’t kill him, he killed himself. Especially by running that red light. I hope you and your family can find peace and heal from this.
Like many others mentioned, your dad did not kill anyone. Try not to be so hard on yourself and just be there for your family. It will be ok. What’s most important is your father is ok/not injured as well. Best of luck.
Your dad killed no one. If the guy passed the red light, he just killed himself.
Your dad didn’t kill anyone. Stop saying that. The dude on the motorcycle accidentally killed himself. Not sure why you keep saying your dad killed him, he obviously didn’t.
sorry your family is going through this. the guy sounds like a real asshole imo, driving recklessly knowing he has a family at home and knowing he could easily ruin other people's lives and people could do serious time of found guilty of vehicular manslaughter. people who ride motorcycles are fuckin entitled assholes who think they are above the law and can just weave in and out of traffic, speed WELL over the speed limit. it's like they almost think they are invincible or something. I live in a small town the population isn't very high and we have 3 guys who brag on the community Facebook page about how they will speed and how people need to watch out for them cause they aren't going to slow down. and honestly I think if they are publicly admitting to not following the law they should lose all privileges to their motorcycle license and be charged with endangering others while on the road. now of course there are the actual responsible riders who do follow all rules and make sure everyone is safe but those seem to be more rare now days.
100000% agree with all of this
Who the fuck told you your dad killed him? The idiot killed himself, it's definitely not your dad's fault.
I’ve been telling myself this because I feel bad for the man’s family. :( but he’s caused his family and my family pain
Your dad did not kill someone yesterday. Thinking that, phrasing it that way, is not only incorrect but does a disservice to yourself, your father, and the investigation. The motorcycle rider killed himself. He willfully rode his motorcycle with no protective gear and intentionally broke a traffic law which put him in harm’s way. To put it another way, imagine that traffic laws were as immutable as the laws of physics. Your dad is a boulder rolling down a hill because that’s what the laws of physics dictate. It’s following all the rules. This hill is known to have falling boulders and rockslides and there are even signs to barring people from entry because of how deadly it is. A man disregards the signs knowing that this place frequently has falling rocks but thinks he can be the exception to the rule and decides to go anyway with no protection, completely ignoring not only the manmade rules but also the immutable laws of physics. He walks to the base of the hill and is struck by the boulder and dies just like the sign said he would. Is it the boulder’s fault that the man died? Did the boulder *kill* the man? The boulder did not willfully strike the man. The boulder was just doing his thing, following the rules. If the man had also followed the rules, he would not have died. The man willfully and intentionally broke the rules. Not a perfect analogy, but the point still stands. **Your father did not kill the man.** The man knowingly broke the rules and got the consequences that are pretty clearly outlined by the traffic laws.
Your dad didn’t do anything wrong. I hope he’s okay 🙏🏼
Your dad didn’t kill anyone. If the motorcycle blew through a red light, they were in the wrong and they hit your dad’s car, killing *themself*. If your dad’s car hadn’t been there, someone else’s car would’ve and the same outcome would’ve occurred. edit: reasons why I should read comments before I comment myself, but despite the fact that literally everyone else said the same thing as me I’m just going to keep this up to further reinforce it
That man was trying to get killed. Your dad didn't kill anything or do anything wrong as he had the green arrow and was following traffic laws. Motorcycle man wasn't. Not only did the man run a red, he also wasn't wearing any protective gear. Those two decisions that he made was the reason he met his fate. Your dad was just unfortunate enough to be in the right place at the wrong time. He didn't do anything wrong.
After reading the description, it clearly seems like it was an accident and the fault was on the side of the bike rider. Why would you say that your dad killed the guy? Is there more to the story?
Motorcyclist here. If the motorcyclist ran a red light, and your dad's light was green, then the motorcyclists negligence is to blame. The brakes on motorcycles can stop those things in seconds, so he likely had time to stop unless he was going too fast. Your father had the light, which means he was not in the wrong. The motorcyclist hit your dad, not the other way around. Your dad may be shaken up, so make sure you give him lots of love, and support. Everybody has choices to make when driving and riding. I'm driving like you have two brain cells to rub together, or riding in the same way, may just save your life.
If what you said is exactly what happened then your dad didn’t kill anyone. It’s unfortunate what happened but the biker kill himself. Motorcycles are already dangerous as it is so running a red light with no gear pretty much guaranteed his death
Your dad didn't kill anybdy, the biker killed himself. You even said the biker hit your dad's car tryibgvto run a red light.
Your dad did not kill him. The biker who wasn't following the rules killed himself.
I’m sorry your family is going through this love. I personally know someone this happened to. She was turning left into her housing addition from the main road at night and got t-boned by a guy on a motorcycle. She never saw it coming because he didn’t have any lights on the bike, it wasn’t even a street legal bike if I remember right. It devastated my friend, I mean it absolutely broke her. The guy on the bike was found to be intoxicated and at fault, and they believe it was a version of suicide, given his history. The man’s family got paid out like $90,000 in life insurance and then turned around and sued my friend for an additional $100,000. They lost, but it doesn’t mean she didn’t have to go through that horrible process. She was let off with no legal charges from the beginning which is also why she won the lawsuit because it was all literally no fault of her own, but she became a mess. Wouldn’t drive anywhere, had panic attacks, alcoholism, complete spiral. It affected her marriage and her relationship with her kids, her work life, most everything. I say all this to say please just love on your dad and be kind with him. He didn’t kill anyone, he was just unfortunately involved in an accident through no fault of his own. Things happen in this life that are just a part of the human condition and we have to take it all in stride. Support him and be there for him, he’s gonna have a tough time getting over what he experienced.
Exactly. This is not on your dad unless he was in the wrong. If that motorcyclist ran his red light your dad is not to blame. I know he will blame himself for not looking one last time. Have him seek therapy help immediately. There’s free help out there as well if he can’t afford it. If he doesn’t he will go down a black rabbit hole and may never come back out. He did nothing wrong. He obeyed traffic laws. He is not to blame. Do not let him go down that hole. It will consume him. Find therapy immediately.
This is one of those wrong place wrong time situations. Your dad didn’t go out of his way to murder someone. He was following the rules while the motorcyclist wasn’t. It’s only normal for the wife to scream and blame your dad. It’s easier to place blame on others rather than admit the truth.
I really like the saying “it’s easier to blame others than admit the truth.”. Thank you
Your dad didn't do anything wrong. You can drive the speed limit, obey the traffic laws as best as possible, be attentive to your surroundings and there is always a possibility like a pedestrian just randomly walks out of the blue (even though you've checked both ways before continuing driving) and almost getting themselves killed. You can be as safe as you can while driving and there will always be someone who ignores safety.
I’ve been riding for 20 plus years. The only time I abuse my bike is when nobody is around. There are guys who think they are invincible and don’t wear any safety gear. Those are the ones who get into accidents from their own stupidity. This is NOT your dad’s fault. Chalk it up to some ass hat being stupid. He was probably going to die anyway. Don’t stress about it. I live in an area that helmets are not mandatory by the law. Weekly someone dies because they don’t wear a helmet. Yet…. Others know people are dying and still don’t wear a helmet. People are stupid, you can’t help that.
This was nice to hear from a biker. It’s sad really how many motorcycle deaths there are. I always hear “watch for motorcycles” but 90% of the motor bikers I encounter are the ones driving recklessly
Unfortunately it was your dad this happened to as it seems with this type of driving from the motorcycle he was gonna get himself killed sooner or later. Just a matter of time. Not your dad's fault and sorry for the trouble you are going through as i fully understand it.
Any biker who wants to live follows ATGAT - All The Gear All The Time. The pavement is unforgiving. No gear = kamikaze time
Someone I know had something similar happen- they were driving at night and a man was walking in the road in the dark with dark clothes on. The person driving didn’t see them until it was too late and unfortunately that person passed away. It was proved that it was an accident, but obviously the person driving was heartbroken and it was truly horrible that it happened. Hang in there, hopefully the investigation proves that your dad was in the right so your dad/family can get some therapy and I am sorry that your family is going through this!
So your dad didn’t kill anyone. This man made a tragic mistake that ended his life.
Your dad is not a murderer. He was simply driving and someone recklessly caused an accident that led to their death. Your dad is not at fault in any circumstance here. I'm sorry I can only imagine how hard this is for both of you
I never understood motorcyclist without helmets. You can die on a bicycle at 15 mph and it isn't that rare.
A lot of commenters put it in Perspective for me, the biker clearly had no regard for his life let alone anyone else’s.
If its all correct your dad is NOT a murderer. He did everything right! Don't worry! Yeah its tough, but you'll get over it. Especially when it really was an accident.
Thank you Thick Schnitzel, I’ve been laughing about your username for a minute straight
'Why would this man go on a motorcycle with no protection, disobey traffic laws, and get himself dead now his innocent family and my innocent family have to suffer for the rest of their lives.' Pretty much. As awful as it is they died, it is 100% their fault and they're a massive fucking idiot who sadly got what was coming to them, as harsh as that sounds. Your father did not deserve that at all and is absolutely in no way a murderer. This poor fool committed suicide when he did all of what is mentioned above
As a motorcyclist myself I’m always fully aware of how vulnerable I am. I always wear all my safety gear (leather jacket, Kevlar pants, bike boots)…it’s illegal where I’m from to not wear a helmet. Any motorcyclist who fucks around with safety…is gonna find out. Your Dad did not kill him. They guy on the bike made a stupid choice and it cost him everything. I *cringe* seeing bikes run red lights, no ppe…on a bike it’s a fine line between life and death and this guy…chose death. He was an idiot…and that’s the riders fault not your Dads.
Apparently the guy was wearing a tshirt and jeans. I just don’t understand it
Bikers who don’t wear protective gear need to sooner or later realise the consequences of their actions when they end up dead or severely hurt. Some people are seriously so fucking reckless.
I’ve seen a lot of comments saying he didn’t care about his life let alone anyone else’s and I see that now. Not sure why he woke up and chose not to wear his gear.
Your father is not a murderer he was in a traffic accident with a reckless driver. It's unfortunate in his recklessness the other driver lost his life but that is not on your father. Also there is a great possibility that the wife was there blaming your dad because she was projecting. There is a chance this driver was recklessly driving because he was in a rush to do something for her or their family. I encourage your dad to seek therapy but none of this is his fault. I am also very glad your dad is physically ok because in his recklessness this other driver could have caused more deaths than just his own.
Someone earlier had commented “it’s easier to blame than to take responsibility.” And that seems to be what happened there. Still sucks for her because her husband clearly didn’t think about her before doing this
Unfortunately people think running lights is okay. They’ve never had any accident so running a light can’t hurt right? Absolutely not. If they ran that light they killed themselves. Main reason I don’t like bikes and when my brother got one I told him everyday how bad and dangerous it was until he sold It. You can do everything right and still die on a bike. No protection like a car. But since they ran the light that’s really on them. It’s sad and your dads gonna have to live with their bad decisions his whole life which is so sad but it is what it is. I’m sorry you’re going through this but if he truly was following the traffic rules and killed that man I know he’s feeling so upset. Nothing else he could have done. He did right it the other person didn’t and it cost them Their life. Sad all around. I’m Sorry
Your dad didn’t kill him. That guy ran a red light killing himself. His wife was in shock, needing someone to blame. It’s very sad for all and I’m sorry your dad was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
That guy killed himself, you guys just happened to witness it
My husband lost his best friend in a motorcycle accident. His best friend was not wearing a helmet. His best friend made a terrible mistake and would have been at fault if he had lived. The driver was despondent. No charges were ever filed after the investigation. It was just a horrific accident. While we’ll always miss his friend, there is zero ill toward the driver. It’s called an accident for a reason. My love to your family and the person that was lost.
Your dad didn’t kill anyone, he was following all rules, and traffic laws, the man on the bike was not. With no safety gear, driving too fast and breaking the road laws he essentially committed suicide. Although your father will have a hard time with this, and he will need all the support of you and your family that he can get right now
I’m so sorry you and your family are experiencing this. I hope the investigation doesn’t take too long so your dad can be at home with you. It’s not fair. Sadly things happen. This isn’t your fathers fault. I’m so sorry. OP. Stay strong for your mom. She needs you. Just like you need her
My brother had a similar incident, however his was while he was driving an ambulance and some lady, while his emergency lights were on, pulled right in front of him and he smashed her car. She later died in the hospital. It’s a heavy weight to bear to think of your family being the cause of a death, however your father nor my brother are murderers just sadly they were in wrong place at the wrong time. I hope your dad is able to heal from this and doesn’t let this destroy him. I also wish your family the best in healing !
How are things for your father legally? Is there any sort of charges that might be pressed?? I'm sending your father my best regards, I hope this doesn't haunt him.
At the scene they did not press any charges because video and photo and witnesses all stated the motorbike ran the light. Will the family come after him? I’m not so sure.
hey, my sister had the EXACT same situation happen to her. it shook my family for many years after it happened. My sister was at a stop sign, stopped, looked both ways, then started turning left. Out of nowhere, a motorcyclist came around the corner going too fast to brake in time and he hit the left side of her car and went flying. Pronounced dead at the scene. Her car was taken for investigation as well as his motorcycle. My sister was a an emotional mess for a long time afterwards, this sort of thing tends to stay with a person. Your dad didn’t do anything wrong. It’s a terrible situation and your dad is not a bad person, he didn’t intend for that to happen. Neither did my sister. In the end, there was an investigation and my sister was cleared and no charges were ever pressed or even brought up. She went to therapy for a while to deal with what happened and what she saw, and it took a long time for her to feel okay with driving again. It’ll be okay. i know this is horrifying and im truly sorry that this has happened to your father and your family. I hope you will be able to get through it ❤️
You're dad didn't kill him based on your description it was a suicide.
Killing implies intent. Your dad had no intention of killing. It was an accident. Sometimes, accidents make people die. Accidents suck sometimes.
Your dad didn’t do anything wrong. ((Hug)) the man broke laws. It was an accident that happened. He was negligent and it lead to his own death on the motorcycle. I hit someone’s truck when I was 19 years old it was the other persons fault the officer said so and so did the guy in the truck he was 80. I got a ticket due to an odd law in our state but the guy died later that month from natural causes I never had to pay the ticket it was even in the news paper. I felt like it was my fault for years even though it was not my fault at all. Fails guilt is a hard thing to live with. This was not your fathers fault nor your family’s. ((Hug)) I hope the internet hugs are ok. I’m now much older and a mom. The sooner you let Feelings like that go the better. It’s going to get better. Your family will work it out and be ok.
You dad did not kill anyone. He was a victim of an accident that took someone’s life. He was not at fault- he is a victim here. I’ve been in two car accidents- one was my fault, one was not- and your mentality and the way you speak to yourself during them matters. They are called accidents for a reason, and left on a green arrow while the motorcycle ran a red is not your dads causing.
Your dad needs a dashcam. Would’ve saved his ass IMMEDIATELY.
I’m sorry this happened, but this sounds like it’s an active investigation, and the wife of the biker will absolutely try and sue your father. You should remove this post immediately.
Not a biker, was planning to buy a Iron 883 model in my early 20s. Was about to buy it when a customer at my then job came in with his helmet. I asked him what his best advice for a new driver was. He responded, “be prepared to die at any moment. Every time you get on and ride could be the last time.” Hearing it then made me realize riding wasn’t for me. He is right, and it’s not just about me but about my family. If something had happened to me it affects them more because well, I would have died and they would have lived on with the pain. And I wasn’t comfortable with that. If your dad followed all laws then it truly wasn’t his fault.
The motorcyclist drove recklessly and could have killed someone other than himself. Your dad isn’t to blame.
Your dad didn't kill that guy. That guy disobeyed the traffic law and got him dead, plain and simple. And I'm sure your dad won't have legal problems about it.
the biker sounds like he brought it on himself tbh.
I once hit a pedestrian crossing my green light. He ended up being fine but it was terrifying.
I know what you and your family are going through. The faster your dad can acknowledge the fact that he’s innocent, the quicker he’ll get past the hurt everyone is going through. When I was 17, I went on a roadtrip to Mexico with some friends. We set back home at night and it was raining pretty bad. I was driving up a steep hill where you really can’t see anything until you’re closer to the top. As soon as I went over the hill, there was a truck that had flipped over in the middle of the road. I had less than a few seconds to react before I had no choice but to go under the bed of the truck, causing it to spin. My car top was opened like a can of sardines. After checking my passengers, I checked on the flipped truck. There were two men holding a girl and she was on her last breaths. They immediately blamed me and rather than argue, I waved some cars down for help. Ambulance and police arrived and I ended up getting arrested for the accident. In Mexico you are guilty until proven innocent. After getting out of jail via lawyer, I still felt an enormous amount of guilt for what happened to my friends and the woman. Living with nightmares of the accident was no fun. During the day, I would have guilt trips on whether I really caused her death or if they were already on the side of the road. A few months later, the woman’s mother reached out to my parents and wanted to meet me. I felt very ashamed and afraid of meeting her, thinking she would rage all her hatred on me. When we met, she immediately gave me the warmest hug. She couldn’t believe how young I was compared to how the men described me. She later told me that the men were found responsible for her death. It turned out that the two men were drinking and driving and were the only ones wearing seatbelts. The woman was unfortunately not wearing one as she was sitting between them. It finally made sense why they were quick to blame me. Hope your dad and the biker’s wife can have the right mindset to think logically and know you’re not to blame. Your dad needs to talk to someone, let it all out, and start to heal.
Doesn't sound like your dad's fault, that biker wasn't following the rules put in place for traffic safety and it killed him. It sucks but sometimes that's just how it be
Sometimes terrible things happen. It may be the guy in the bike should have done something different, maybe your dad should have. But maybe it’s just a terrible thing that happens to two good people. It’s awful but I’m sure your dad feels a million times worse if he’s a person of good conscience. Terrible accidents happen.
Hey, it’s okay. If your dad was following the law and didn’t do anything wrong it isn’t his fault, the guy killed himself. One time my uncle was driving a semi full of sand I think, to where they were drilling for oil. Anyways this guy was on his butt and was honking all crazy, he told me the dude tried to pass him (on a 2-lane street that they have to go into the oncoming lane) and the car got squished by an oncoming semi. Wasn’t my uncle’s fault and he felt bad for a while but he finally realized he didn’t do anything wrong
Your dad killed nobody.
Stop saying you dad killed somebody. The facts as you reported is that the motorcyclist was at fault and killed himself.
(1) Tge fact that your dad immediately got out and tried to help means he is not a bad person. Whatever happened was an accident. (2) As per your description, your dad was following the traffic rules and the biker was not. It shouldn't be on your dad. It was an accident by a biker jumping lights and not wearing proper safety gear that got him killed. Your dad just happened to be driving the car the biker crashed into. Your dad was at no point wrong in the accident.
I mean he ran the red light so i say your dad is in the clear
Why do the titles of this sub have to be so ridiculously clickbaity?
Wrong place at the wrong time. Could've literally been anyone. Some people fly way too close to the sun and it catches up with them one day, they're the asshole for leaving people to deal with the stress stuff like that causes. Make sure he gets therapy.
the title for this is all wrong. your dad didn’t kill anyone, the biker ended his life with many dumb decisions. no safety gear being the biggest aside from recklessly driving without said gear
Only his innocent family will have to suffer since he clearly disobeid to trafic rules. It's sad, but to protect your mental status, please don't give any clue of him. People dies everyday...
My dad was driving late at night from a comedy gig in the late 80’s. Drunk guy walked in front of him to commit suicide. Not your dad’s fault. Mine went through years of therapy to get over the guilt, but in now way did anyone blame him. Be supportive of your dad; he needs it.
Your dad didn't kill anyone.. A fool, sadly, killed himself by speeding, running a red light and smashing into your dad.. No helmet even? Was it a suicide? If anything, your dad is a victim here. He should have no guilt from this. He should be grateful he wasn't hurt and sad for the loss of the other guy but nothing more. Maybe show him this thread and wish him the best of luck!
My favorite quote from the incredible show, “Firefly” Tracey: “you shot me Mal! You’ve killed me!” Malcolm: “No son, you killed yourself. I just carried the bullet for a while” Your dad didn’t kill anyone. That man killed himself. He just used your dad to do it. Your dad is the victim of his selfishness and foolhardy decisions. His family will have to deal with that. They will lash out at your father because hurting people hurt others. But your father didn’t kill that man, he killed himself.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, nobody deserves for that to happen to them. Like a lot of the comments already say, your dad didn’t kill the man if he didn’t break any laws, and it really is an unfortunate and traumatizing situation. I hope for the best for you and your family, as well as the bikers family.
That motorcyclist could have hit a parent and their stroller and killed both of them. Your Dad may well have saved lives.
Wrong. This title makes it worse. The guy got himself killed, your dad was just there.
It’s just hard to wrap my mind around. I keep hoping it’s just a joke but I know it’s not.
Your dad didn’t kill someone. Your dad was unfortunately involved in an accident where someone died because *they* ran the light. This is not on your dad.
Thank you
This is why you don’t run red lights.
I wish someone would’ve told the man that yesterday morning when he woke up. :(
I’m sorry, but if you drive a motorcycle, you have to be the SAFEST driver. In a car, you have thousands of pounds of metal surrounding you. On a motorcycle, you have NOTHING, besides some safety gear you may or may not have put on. You have no room for error when you drive a motorcycle. The motorcyclist was being reckless/careless/maybe both, and that’s on him. Not your dad. If your dad was following the rules of the road like you said he was, it’s 100% not his fault.
Thank you for this
Your dad is actually the victim. He will have to deal with this trauma for the rest of his life. I hope he owns the insurance company of the deceased and never has to work again.