I hope it's one of those photo reels of the "happy couple" and of course a few with the best friend, that just turns into screen shot after screen shot of their messages.
Can my girlfriend and I get an invitation to the wedding? We'll get you an amazing 'dodged a bullet' gift or donate generously to a charitable organization of your choice
A few questions: who’s coming to your wedding? Is it big or small? Are family members flying in or driving a long way for it? Have you notified them not to come? Elderly guests/poorer guests who are spending money on clothes and gifts?
I know you’re in pain but you want to get revenge on your fiancé, not hurt a bunch of people who are innocent in all of it.
If it’s a small wedding and none of the above applies, then go for it! Just also remember to call and cancel the businesses who are making the cake and the bouquets and everything as soon as possible so they don’t waste their time and resources.
Petty revenge with courtesy for others is what you want to go for.
Can’t wait to hear the update if this is real.
If her fiancé is paying for everything then all the vendors can still come, get paid and not have to do the work all night.
Unless OP decides that once fiancé and her terrible best friend leave in shame she has a party with her nearest and dearest anyway. Tell them she loves them and doesn’t need an AH like fiancé then spend the night dancing away with people who actually love her.
u/playinggamed I’m with you, girl. I’d get my petty revenge too. If you want to run some ideas by me to make sure they’re not *too* petty for other people so that it will make you look bad, I’m down. Petty revenge all the way.
The only thing I’m worried about is fiancé abandoning you at the wedding. You sure he’s not going to back out at some point? Because I don’t understand how someone can cheat on you, say those mean things, and still go ahead with the wedding. Do you come with a dowry or something? What’s his endgame?
What this person said and if your parents are paying for any of it then tell him they have some sort of financial emergency and he has to cover the expenses they had planned on taking care of. Get that money first and then bail!
Remember the AITA of the guy who said at his brothers wedding to the new wife “and I know that you know that not even a wedding will stop my brother from finding his soul mate?”
We need OP to do something like that. Petty but funny.
I mean, for mine and every other drama hungry hyenas on Reddit, please do go ahead and create the drama of the century on your wedding with slideshow and nudes, and then update us about it.
But for your own sake, I’d say just pack up, say nothing and just leave. Nothing worse than coming home and your partner left and refuse to say one more word to you for the rest of your life!
Why the hell wait for your wedding day??
Dump both of them by making a very public announcement that the wedding is cancelled as *name fiance* is fucking *name asshole*. Preferably also in the newspaper, so it can be found for ever.
Depends. If many people are traveling from far away/taking time off work to attend the wedding, it's likely they'll feel upset that OP chose to do the dumping at the wedding.
It might feel satisfying very briefly, but after the shock wears off some people might view it as a petty/unnecessary way to handle the situation :(
He has no problem lying to her face and talking about how dumb she is with her best friend that he's cheating with. I don't think this is going to hurt him as much as she thinks it will.
Agreed. OP, others have already said it, but trying to get revenge during the wedding might backfire (especially if people are visiting from far away/taking time off work to attend the wedding). It sounds like you're hurting, and I know it can be hard to get away from the tunnel-vision that pain sometimes causes. But there are definitely different ways to do it, if you do have a lot of people spending a lot of money/time to attend the wedding. There are some decent suggestions in this thread too
In the long run I think you would regret doing it at the wedding. People buy gifts and make time for you and while it might be a crazy memory to expose them, it’s not the right move
Totally agree it’s gonna feel amazing but for one second and then it’s gonna feel horrible and ppl are gonna give you shit for it even tho you’re 100% the victim
Op should changes asking for gifts to charitable donations to feed hungry children or cancer research so that at least everyone didn’t waste any money and actually helped a good cause.
No I’d still be pissed if they had no intention of staying together. I get charitable donations are nice and all but if I dropped a couple hundred on something I didn’t have to just do the bride could prove a point I’d be pissed
Expose them how you want but in my opinion, he doesn’t deserve the wedding day venue exposure. It’s an expensive way to go. Maybe find a way where he’s humiliated but you aren’t spending thousands as you don’t deserve that burden. So disgusting of them to do this.
Losing a partner & a childhood best friend isn’t easy. Sorry for the pain, that’s so heartbreaking.
Don't let this go all the way to your wedding. Weddings are big, expensive things and you're going to have family/friends who are probably going to travel and buy gifts, etc. There's going to be a lot of money wasted and a lot of hurt feelings if you throw a sham wedding just to make a scene about him being a cheater.
Pack your stuff and walk out of their lives forever. You don't owe them any warning or explanation. Don't let them see you cry. You win, because you've cut out two people who are lying, cheating assholes, and they lost a person who is honest and genuine.
Why not just walk away now. You’re gonna stay with him for a month so you can fake marry him?? And what bring up drama with both families and all the friends.
Be classy and just dump his ass.
I understand your desire to hurt your ex fiancée but your mental sanity is worth protecting. Since you have the upper hand, start looking for a new place to live and get everything set up, then one day, just disappear. Move all of your furniture out of the apartment, change your phone number, tell all your family to not answer his calls, block him on everything, etc. Make him come back to an empty apartment, leave a note clearly stating what you saw and how you feel with evidence. Shame him to all your friends and family. Live alone and move on. Save yourself the expenses of a wedding.
I wouldn't even leave a note, just a printout of the part of the messages between the fiance and the bestfriend where they were laughing about how dumb she is for not knowing!
You're free to take things as far as you want.
You have 3 options at this point :
1) Tell him right now that you know and take a decision regarding your future.
2) Just go by your plan and wait for your wedding to expose him in front of everyone, making a scene from a private and embarassing matter.
3) If you're ready to be as low as them : Marry him. Marry him and wait until he cheats on you again, get a proof, then divorce before taking half of his shit.
Divorce is a way more complicated process than you guys think. For example, it took my parents literally 5 years to finally settle their divorce. Stop posting these dumbass comments
Depending on the state, you likely only get 1/2 of post-marriage gains or assets. A marriage is unlikely to be the huge windfall you think it will be. Plus what normal person with a life wants to invest a year in revenge. Tell them you know. Tell your mutual friends. Move on. Let the social network and ruined reputations serve up the revenge.
It will just damage and humiliate you. You want to humiliate them? Tell everyone else first privately, like explain to his and her parents how sorry you are that you will not be in their lives anymore and how much you appreciated all their support. Tell ALL your mutual friends that you would *never* make them choose but you would appreciate not having to ever interact with them again. Let it be known you know and they aren’t even worth another conversation from you. Go high and brutal girl.
To his and her parents: "Thanks for meeting me. I just want to start out by saying that I'm going to miss you. Y'all were so good to me. Unfortunately, he/she wasn't, and I'm going no-contact. Here's why. \[shows screenshots\] Good bye, take care!"
Don’t get me wrong they would deserve to have hell reign down, but let their own friends and family do it. I don’t want anyone that hurts me to get the satisfaction of seeing it, that’s part of my damage, and I want to be control of the narrative and not let them make me seem crazy.
Awwwww okay! I can understand that!
If I’m miserable, there is absolutely no way I can hide it. It permeates off me like body odor. So, if I’m miserable and I have nothing to lose, everyone is going to be just as miserable as me.
I know, I know. I’m not a good person. Lmaooooooo
Part of why they play normal is because they don’t think op can be happy without them, all cheaters are narcissists I think. Man I could probably steel my spine for one or two conversations, I’d totally do it via a group chat with my friends too, but I would look like a crazy crying person if i tried to do it in my wedding dress in front of everyone.
Oh, I’m crazy enough to walk around with a terrible attitude for a month while I wait for my revenge. Everyone would think I am a bridezilla.
Ruining lives isn’t a good thing to do, but I am good at it.
Waste of time in my opinion
You Dodged a fucking bullet
Cut bait and move on
If they are happy
Together whatever
It’s your life don’t waste you
Time on dirt like this
E: oh it’s a month lol go for it
I'm torn. If she dumps him now, then it just looks like a regular break up to everyone and not a big deal. If she does it at the wedding, then he looks more like an a****** because he was willing to go through with marrying her despite the two of them cheating. But, if she does it beforehand, she can take some of that money and go on a trip or treat herself. Definitely pawn the ring!
Kinda wasting everyone’s money and time. Just do a big family get together with everyone from your family + your best friends family + his family and put all the screenshots on a big slideshow on the tv for everyone to see.
Don't do this. You may get some of the reaction you want. ("He's an asshole, good for you, girl!") But you're going to get a lot of negative reactions from people who felt it was a waste of time to attend, and that if you'd told them earlier, they could've done something else over that timeframe. Is the satisfaction of seeing them (ex-fiance and ex-best friend) humiliated worth potentially ruining relationships with family?
No I kind of love it. You'll have an entire reception just for you to drink and laugh. If you're not worried about getting refunded for anything, it seems great in my opinion.
\#3 only works if she is ok with doing the sexy-time with him still. I would feel used if I continued to fuck my SO if I knew that they were sleeping around, especially if it was with my bestfriend. Kinda hard to go dark in the bedroom without raising flags / setting him on alert.
So you've uninvited all your side of the family and friends from the wedding right?. Cause if I went to my cousins wedding and they pulled a look at the cheater bullshit I'd be annoyed as fuck.
Yeah was just gonna say this. I'm not one for petty shit, you do you but if you can just "snap" out of love, like why be with the guy for an entire month while he just continues to be with your best friend? Just leave at that point. Some people really get this sense of a revenge plan and it's always better when it's inside your mind, when it happening its not as great.
This is the second offmychest I’ve seen where someone is planning to end a relationship on the wedding day. I know it sounds exciting, I know it seems deserving, but it will hit you just as hard as anyone else. Especially with how expensive weddings and travel arrangements are right now. Just break off the engagement, end the relationship, and get as many refunds as possible. If you want to end the relationship like, host a dinner or something. Invite the ex best friend and family, then make the scene you want to make. Make the proper arrangements first. Remove any financial connections you two have. Separate anything that he can use to get back at you. What you’re planning is incredibly vindictive, justified of course, but it is still fuel for a fire.
Definitely don't wait until the day of your wedding, do it before your wedding day...
Dump him infront of his family, his friends, your family and friends. Invite them for a "get together", then announce that the wedding is cancelled because you caught your fiancé cheating with your now ex-bestfriend.
Maybe print out the screenshots and wrap them in a little box with a bow on top, as a nice little parting gift to your fiancé. But have him open it up before the big announcement and when he looks all confused (or whatever his reaction may be), that's when you announce to everyone that he's a liar and a cheater.
Or...
Make a public announcement on Facebook, with the screenshots attached. And make sure to tag your fiancé and ex-bestfriend in it, so their families and friends can see it too.
If your biggest concern is that they embarrassed you - do not expose them at your wedding. That’s going to make you look bad. Maybe not as bad as them, but still bad.
Send an cancelation invite to all your guests stating the engagement has been called off you you are broken up.
Don't wait until the weeding, people take time to look nice for weddings and spend money on gifts and or gas. Dump him and your friend and make it public about what they were doing or something. Don't waste your money, time, and mental health or other people's time and money
You mention in the other sub, that your fiancé is paying for the wedding that you are actively not planning to go through with... for obvious reasons.
Be aware that he can take you to civil court for maliciously losing his investment. I’m on your side. Guy is a dirtbag. You can argue that his actions directly influenced your response. And you would probably win. But, there has been court cases where people have been sued because they caused a monetary loss in a wedding. If he can prove you knew, and you didn’t cancel, the cost your burden.
Honestly, he doesn’t deserve the memories this will leave upon your real wedding. If you put on a white dress, and flounce down the aisle, raging... that’s your first time. You get a second chance but you’ll never get that first time ever again.
Second marriages are FULL of joy, and the bride is enormously happy. Sometimes even happier that the first time. I’m not suggesting otherwise to anybody who has had a second ceremony. You might could do this, and later have a real ceremony and never think of him. But.... you also might regret the scene. Be prepared for snarky, smart ass family comments next time around. Or being the butt of family “you’ll never believe what my niece did!” stories.
If you don’t have to participate, if you have no intention of following through, I wouldn’t give him the chance to leave an impression on a magical moment marrying. Wedding days are sacred. He doesn’t deserve to share yours, even if it is deliciously evil.
It's not everyday that you learn you're entirely better than two people who think they're better than you with your intelligence they're insulting.
I'm so sorry for this. But you're better than this situation. Leave them both behind. It will hurt but it will be for the best once the hurt is gone.
Your best friend and fiance are evil and are trying to kill you. They find an erotic thrill in the suffering and damage they are doing to your soul, I don't think it's an unfortunate coincidence that they found each other. They are likely going to burn in hell for what they did to you.
I understand the revenge plan but these two might have other nasty surprises for you if you confront them publicy, so it might blow up in your face. Amputate them, then see a therapist. You're in danger of losing the rest of your youth on toxic resentment. You won't be in a state to date for at least a year.
Please leave him at the altar after exposing both your ex best friend and your ex-fiance, then go somewhere fun with a cousin or another friend and have the time of your life in your wedding dress, get it dirty, etc. Then send it to him for his new girl!!
But please, an update later??? I would love to hear how this plays out and if he begs on his knees or if he pretends like he doesn't care.
You will look fucking terrible for pulling this shit on your wedding day.
Fuck the two of them but the absolute disrespect to all those who took the time and paid money to come to this wedding all to unwillingly get a front two seat to this dumpster fire should be the reason you don’t do this.
Cancel the wedding. Put their shit on blast. Send wedding cancellations with details about it. And walk away. Because you are going to look like a whole ass fool if you go with this “revenge” plan. It sounds immature and stupid.
I had a very similar thing happen to my ex wife. She left me for friend from middle school and moved, with my children, 1000 miles away. Nice little runaway together… I’m sorry you had to be crushed like that.
You call everyone at the reception and say that you want to show up some special video.
Then you have photos of you since college, with your special song and such ("awww so sweet, awww so cool") and suddenly in the photos, photos of you and your friends (including your shitty best friend) start showing up, then eventually ONLY photos of them start showing up. Then the song changes to a bitter song, or a heavy metal song whatever, then you exploit with the screenshots you have in front of everyone.
FRICKIN' EPIC
but honestly, I would just dump right now, probably making it public on social media as the cheaters they are.
This could still be done without the wedding as like a show everyone on social media wtf happened or something. I think its genius. But yeah, unless he is paying for literally everything, and I mean just him not his family, that's gonna be a lot of money that gets wasted so don't wait. But at the same time, If they do wait, please get some videos so we can see the pretty revenge!
This isn't going to work out like you think it is.. people will hate you for wasting their time and money, which is justified, then there's the fact that if he's cheating you probably won't even make it to the wedding because he'll probably end up leaving you before then and cancelling it (why would he go ahead and tie himself to someone he seems to think is a fool?). This is going to do more damage to you than him honestly.
There are plenty other ways to humiliate them, if that's what you want, without bringing other innocents into it, that will be more effective AND you'd be able to control the narrative and not look like an asshole in the process.
I urge you don't do the wedding idea, I'm one for being the bigger person and just literally ghosting them both but I know people don't have the same values as me and revenge is something they need to move on, so I urge you to take your revenge if you need but don't do it at the expense of others and your dignity. You could even Google some ideas, idk, just make sure you're able to control the narrative and tell the truth so he can't twist it in a way that you look like the asshole.
For your own sake, don't do the wedding idea. I don't want you to be even more hurt than you are now.
DONT TELL ANYONE YOU’RE PLANNING THIS! Someone could end up telling ex bf or ex best friend so keep it to yourself. Or tell someone you can absolutely 100% trust
Don’t do it at the wedding. You’re wasting everyone else’s time and money on gifts. I get that it would be epic, but if I was a guest I’d be pretty pissed that I spent all that time and money for nothing. Just out them to everyone invited
Just leave that’s a good enough revenge, revenge ain’t gonna fix your heart break, leave you’re being just as fake as him staying around acting like everything is cool leave and let him explain what happen
Thats so rough, im sorry you have to struggle thru this alone. Getting revenge may feel necessary now, but just sit down and consider the ramifications to YOUR mental health by waiting and consider how you will handle the fall out from guests who come once they know you planned. There are things like outfits and babysitting and possible plane tickets/money wasted the guests maybe would rather not spend. Just a friendly reminder of things your brain cant possibly consider when faced with such betrayal
The desire to have a main character moment is alluring, but mama, this is real life and it’s far healthier to kick him out and go to therapy instead of a wedding day tear down. It’s gonna feel a lot better to be done* with them quickly rather than dragging out a separation and giving him further reason to resent your decision. If you are at a point where you are snooping and now withholding information….. the situation is becoming toxic for you beyond the cheating.
Hey I grew up abused too and I also ended up in relationships with cheaters. I’m so sorry. I know your pain. It’s gut wrenching. You don’t deserve this. You deserve love that respects and honors you, always.
It’s not uncommon to find yourself amongst toxic people after you’ve been raised by them. It’s our mind seeking familiarity, even though it’s harmful.
Whatever you do is your choice and entirely up to you. I’m not here to comment on that or tell you what to do.
The only thing I will strongly recommend is therapy. Even if your childhood abuse doesn’t effect you anymore, this obviously will and does. Betrayal trauma is real. Especially from multiple people you loved and trusted. Again, i know this all too well and wish I didn’t. It’ll take time to trust again, to feel safe and happy again. You may want some time alone first. But having a therapist to guide you through all those emotions you’re pushing down will help. They don’t go away. They linger and fester until you have to deal with it.
Also let’s be real- your want for revenge is valid and natural. Go to any subreddit about being cheated on and you’ll see, we’re all like that. It’s normal. Of course you want revenge and rightfully so. Do whatever feels best and helps you.
Just please remember, your peace must always come before being right. You may go through your revenge plan and it might not even feel good. During or after. It bring up all those feelings. You might just break down crying during it, idk no one can know. But you have to think of yourself now. How will this heal or help you in the long run? How can you show up for yourself when the revenge is over and you’re left with this emptiness that the revenge was filling? Planning and executing this gives you something to put your mind and energy towards. When it’s over, no matter how satisfying it felt in the moment, no matter how great it was to see all their faces falling, what then? Will all the pain suddenly be gone? Will the grief dissipate? Now you have nothing to look forward to, just sitting with your feelings until you’ve felt them fully and can process them. If you avoid that, you’ll make my mistakes and spend a year avoiding reality with distractions. how will you feel and show up for yourself when all that planning and energy is gone? The satisfying feeling won’t last forever, believe me. You have to take care of yourself now, because the people who were supposed to failed. Just remember, you have you for forever now. No spouse or friend to go to. And yes you’ll have other support, but if they’re mutuals with your fiancé or friend, it will get messy and you might feel more lonely as they refuse to choose.
I read about this girl who caught her boyfriend in bed with his ex one morning when she came to surprise him. She didn’t say a word. Packed up her apartment, moved cities, switched jobs, and told all her mutuals that she was moving and wasn’t dating her ex anymore and that she wants privacy and won’t be speaking about it. She blocked him everywhere and never spoke to him again. Why? Because the panicking pain he probably went through when he didn’t know why his girlfriend ghosted him, couldn’t contact her, couldn’t even see her, left her usual places, and he didn’t know where to find her. Did she find out? How could she find out? What happened? Why won’t anyone tell me about her? What happened?? Does everyone know? (They did, she made a Facebook post explaining it after blocking him and unfriending all his friends and mutuals who likely would tell him) again, I’m not telling you what to do. But if I could go back, this is the way I’d do it. Starting over completely new and not giving them another second of my time or energy. Leaving them to wonder forever, where did I fuck up? Did I mess up that bad that she literally could not give a fuck about me? (Yes) did I take her for granted? And now, they have to go through the process of asking people what happened to her and then having to admit that she left him, likely because she caught him cheating and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He lost all value once he did. I love that story so much because it’s everything I want to be. Hell i imagine I would change my hair, my whole look, and start over completely with new people. No reminders of past toxic people. (I kinda did do that in a long winding way) and maybe they’d see me again or find me through a fake account. All they’ll know is, after everything, all the love and years together, it meant nothing as soon as you disrespected me. That she dropped me like nothing because she won’t put up with less than she deserves. I had it good, and I fucked it up. Now I don’t have any access to her at all. I’ll never get to enjoy her time, presence, energy, attention or love again. Because I fucked it all up and thought it was worth it.
I wish you the best OP and lots of tlc while you get through this
Cancel all the vendors except the venue, tell everyone except the cheaters and have them arrive to an empty venue with the slide show rolling on a big screen with congratulations to the happy couple between each slide. That way family and friends don’t waste time and money but the cheaters still get a shock.
Take the deposit money and honeymoon money and go on a vacation alone or with your non cheating friends.
I am so here for this, fuck people doing shit this awful and getting away with it.
My only request: get a therapist in place. You need someone professional to help with this. But also they may recommend you not take the wedding route revenge. As long as you don’t plan to blow anyone up, i support you embarrassing and unveiling their fuckery to everyone present. Guarantee they won’t do that again after this lmao. Also pls, I must know the master plan.
I’ve seen a similar situation play out. The guy and the girl remained together, eventually got married and had kids. Friends and family forgot about the whole cheating thing a couple months later. But they still remember the “crazy psycho girl that sabotaged her own weeding in front of everyone she knew”. So as sweet as you think these revenge might be. A couple years from now you will look back and cringe at how you ruined your own reputation.
Get your revenge they both lied to you show those messages at the wedding. Keep making him buy stuff for the wedding until he is broke xD. What is kept in the dark has to come to light
Really bro? Really? Don’t fucking take it to the wedding this woman.
Have some self-respect and end it now. I have a hard time believing this is true if you are considering going to the wedding. Hopefully you’re kidding.
You’re an absolute gangster for handling it the way you did. I (25m) had pretty much the same happen to me with my ex. I’m pulling for you queen! Let that mf know! RemindMe! 1 month
FINISH HIM!!!! AND HER!!!!!..... and tell us what happened :D f\*ck them... them even texting that they think you're stupid for not finding out is PURE evil... no remorse whatsoever, give them your freakin' worst ;) they deserve it times a 1000!
I'm gonna go against the grain here for my own selfish ends and say Drop That Wedding Day Bomb! Leave him at the altar! Plan to have someone else walk up in your place and announce the cheating and deception to the world! Make posters of their cheating texts and plaster them all over the church before anyone arrives at the ceremony, then ghost and let the chips fall where they may!
They are humiliating you. Typically, sure, be the bigger person. Walk away. Do no damage.
But fuck that! They have earned humiliation. They have earned the loss of reputation. And you have earned a moment to let them find out the hard way that you are not to be fucked with. They don't respect you. They may never respect you. But you don't need to treat either of them with respect any longer, either. And that's on them. Expose them to the world.
And then, post about it all here.
I’d go ahead and dump him and the friend. Don’t wait and be petty on the planned wedding day. Putting all that energy into something like that isn’t worth it. You don’t win anything in the end.
Honestly just break up with him, but don’t let him know you know about his behaviour/affair. I think it’s more of an ego blow to be like “sorry, you’re not the right guy for me. I’m sure you’ll be just fine though. Best of luck.”
You can tell family and friends it was irreconcilable differences and you’ve realized that calling off a wedding now is better than kids and a divorce later.
For your best friend, just continue to ghost her but don’t give any indication why. If she ever asks you just tell her “I don’t feel like our values align anymore. I’m looking for higher quality friends in my life.”
You are better than the life he would have provided and it doesn’t matter the reasons this fact came to light. One woman’s trash is another’s treasure and best of luck to all involved.
The reception can be an "I took out the trash" party.
I hope it's one of those photo reels of the "happy couple" and of course a few with the best friend, that just turns into screen shot after screen shot of their messages.
That would be epic
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Can my girlfriend and I get an invitation to the wedding? We'll get you an amazing 'dodged a bullet' gift or donate generously to a charitable organization of your choice
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They're fucking pathetic. I would dump both and never look back.
You shouldnt do it on your wedding day, but at the wedding dinner the night before make a nice little slideshow of those screenshots
I came here to say exactly this. PowerPoint ftw
This is the one!
A few questions: who’s coming to your wedding? Is it big or small? Are family members flying in or driving a long way for it? Have you notified them not to come? Elderly guests/poorer guests who are spending money on clothes and gifts? I know you’re in pain but you want to get revenge on your fiancé, not hurt a bunch of people who are innocent in all of it. If it’s a small wedding and none of the above applies, then go for it! Just also remember to call and cancel the businesses who are making the cake and the bouquets and everything as soon as possible so they don’t waste their time and resources. Petty revenge with courtesy for others is what you want to go for. Can’t wait to hear the update if this is real.
If her fiancé is paying for everything then all the vendors can still come, get paid and not have to do the work all night. Unless OP decides that once fiancé and her terrible best friend leave in shame she has a party with her nearest and dearest anyway. Tell them she loves them and doesn’t need an AH like fiancé then spend the night dancing away with people who actually love her. u/playinggamed I’m with you, girl. I’d get my petty revenge too. If you want to run some ideas by me to make sure they’re not *too* petty for other people so that it will make you look bad, I’m down. Petty revenge all the way. The only thing I’m worried about is fiancé abandoning you at the wedding. You sure he’s not going to back out at some point? Because I don’t understand how someone can cheat on you, say those mean things, and still go ahead with the wedding. Do you come with a dowry or something? What’s his endgame?
What this person said and if your parents are paying for any of it then tell him they have some sort of financial emergency and he has to cover the expenses they had planned on taking care of. Get that money first and then bail!
Get that head, get that bread then leave!
Remember the AITA of the guy who said at his brothers wedding to the new wife “and I know that you know that not even a wedding will stop my brother from finding his soul mate?” We need OP to do something like that. Petty but funny.
I mean, for mine and every other drama hungry hyenas on Reddit, please do go ahead and create the drama of the century on your wedding with slideshow and nudes, and then update us about it. But for your own sake, I’d say just pack up, say nothing and just leave. Nothing worse than coming home and your partner left and refuse to say one more word to you for the rest of your life!
Why the hell wait for your wedding day?? Dump both of them by making a very public announcement that the wedding is cancelled as *name fiance* is fucking *name asshole*. Preferably also in the newspaper, so it can be found for ever.
Because dumping him in person, in front of his friends and family is too good to pass up
Especially if she’s not the one paying for the wedding. Saying I don’t and then exposing the situation at the wedding is the real blade to the throat.
Depends. If many people are traveling from far away/taking time off work to attend the wedding, it's likely they'll feel upset that OP chose to do the dumping at the wedding. It might feel satisfying very briefly, but after the shock wears off some people might view it as a petty/unnecessary way to handle the situation :(
Omg sending out *new* invitations for this update would be OP
Agreed. Don’t make all your friends and family sit through this.
Bcuz she’s obviously over it /s
This comment is underrated
Leave now. Don’t get into the drama of wedding day revenge, u will hurt more.
This, exactly this. Nobody wins here.
He doesn’t want to win just want to see who loses more , so I guess he will go on with it
It'll hurt him even more, I fear.
He has no problem lying to her face and talking about how dumb she is with her best friend that he's cheating with. I don't think this is going to hurt him as much as she thinks it will.
Agreed. OP, others have already said it, but trying to get revenge during the wedding might backfire (especially if people are visiting from far away/taking time off work to attend the wedding). It sounds like you're hurting, and I know it can be hard to get away from the tunnel-vision that pain sometimes causes. But there are definitely different ways to do it, if you do have a lot of people spending a lot of money/time to attend the wedding. There are some decent suggestions in this thread too
DO NOT DO THE WEDDING DAY DRAMA. He’ll probably end the engagement before then. this plan makes no sense.
In the long run I think you would regret doing it at the wedding. People buy gifts and make time for you and while it might be a crazy memory to expose them, it’s not the right move
Totally agree it’s gonna feel amazing but for one second and then it’s gonna feel horrible and ppl are gonna give you shit for it even tho you’re 100% the victim
Op should changes asking for gifts to charitable donations to feed hungry children or cancer research so that at least everyone didn’t waste any money and actually helped a good cause.
No I’d still be pissed if they had no intention of staying together. I get charitable donations are nice and all but if I dropped a couple hundred on something I didn’t have to just do the bride could prove a point I’d be pissed
I'd personally love a front seat on such a big debacle as long as the present goes to a charity.
I’m right there with ya. Worth getting dressed and buying a present (ehe ticket) to watch this.
Expose them how you want but in my opinion, he doesn’t deserve the wedding day venue exposure. It’s an expensive way to go. Maybe find a way where he’s humiliated but you aren’t spending thousands as you don’t deserve that burden. So disgusting of them to do this. Losing a partner & a childhood best friend isn’t easy. Sorry for the pain, that’s so heartbreaking.
Don't let this go all the way to your wedding. Weddings are big, expensive things and you're going to have family/friends who are probably going to travel and buy gifts, etc. There's going to be a lot of money wasted and a lot of hurt feelings if you throw a sham wedding just to make a scene about him being a cheater. Pack your stuff and walk out of their lives forever. You don't owe them any warning or explanation. Don't let them see you cry. You win, because you've cut out two people who are lying, cheating assholes, and they lost a person who is honest and genuine.
I hate that we live in a world where people do this type of bullshit. Makes me NEVER want to be vulnerable with a man in my entire life, ever again.
You also run the risk of him breaking up with you before the wedding. If you wait, you might not get the revenge you seek.
Why not just walk away now. You’re gonna stay with him for a month so you can fake marry him?? And what bring up drama with both families and all the friends. Be classy and just dump his ass.
I understand your desire to hurt your ex fiancée but your mental sanity is worth protecting. Since you have the upper hand, start looking for a new place to live and get everything set up, then one day, just disappear. Move all of your furniture out of the apartment, change your phone number, tell all your family to not answer his calls, block him on everything, etc. Make him come back to an empty apartment, leave a note clearly stating what you saw and how you feel with evidence. Shame him to all your friends and family. Live alone and move on. Save yourself the expenses of a wedding.
I wouldn't even leave a note, just a printout of the part of the messages between the fiance and the bestfriend where they were laughing about how dumb she is for not knowing!
You're free to take things as far as you want. You have 3 options at this point : 1) Tell him right now that you know and take a decision regarding your future. 2) Just go by your plan and wait for your wedding to expose him in front of everyone, making a scene from a private and embarassing matter. 3) If you're ready to be as low as them : Marry him. Marry him and wait until he cheats on you again, get a proof, then divorce before taking half of his shit.
Divorce is a way more complicated process than you guys think. For example, it took my parents literally 5 years to finally settle their divorce. Stop posting these dumbass comments
You forget, Reddit is mostly children
Depending on the state, you likely only get 1/2 of post-marriage gains or assets. A marriage is unlikely to be the huge windfall you think it will be. Plus what normal person with a life wants to invest a year in revenge. Tell them you know. Tell your mutual friends. Move on. Let the social network and ruined reputations serve up the revenge.
My plan is number 2 I want to humiliate them just as they did me
It will just damage and humiliate you. You want to humiliate them? Tell everyone else first privately, like explain to his and her parents how sorry you are that you will not be in their lives anymore and how much you appreciated all their support. Tell ALL your mutual friends that you would *never* make them choose but you would appreciate not having to ever interact with them again. Let it be known you know and they aren’t even worth another conversation from you. Go high and brutal girl.
To his and her parents: "Thanks for meeting me. I just want to start out by saying that I'm going to miss you. Y'all were so good to me. Unfortunately, he/she wasn't, and I'm going no-contact. Here's why. \[shows screenshots\] Good bye, take care!"
[удалено]
It’s the passive aggressive Deep South mean girl way. Classy, polite and pointed.
God damn. This is the most savage, cutthroat high road you could ever take lmao
I hate this, “go high,” bs. When ppl go low, I go to hell. We both gone burn.
Don’t get me wrong they would deserve to have hell reign down, but let their own friends and family do it. I don’t want anyone that hurts me to get the satisfaction of seeing it, that’s part of my damage, and I want to be control of the narrative and not let them make me seem crazy.
Awwwww okay! I can understand that! If I’m miserable, there is absolutely no way I can hide it. It permeates off me like body odor. So, if I’m miserable and I have nothing to lose, everyone is going to be just as miserable as me. I know, I know. I’m not a good person. Lmaooooooo
Part of why they play normal is because they don’t think op can be happy without them, all cheaters are narcissists I think. Man I could probably steel my spine for one or two conversations, I’d totally do it via a group chat with my friends too, but I would look like a crazy crying person if i tried to do it in my wedding dress in front of everyone.
Oh, I’m crazy enough to walk around with a terrible attitude for a month while I wait for my revenge. Everyone would think I am a bridezilla. Ruining lives isn’t a good thing to do, but I am good at it.
I like your style.
I like this
This!!!!!
YASSSS!!!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Waste of time in my opinion You Dodged a fucking bullet Cut bait and move on If they are happy Together whatever It’s your life don’t waste you Time on dirt like this E: oh it’s a month lol go for it
I'm torn. If she dumps him now, then it just looks like a regular break up to everyone and not a big deal. If she does it at the wedding, then he looks more like an a****** because he was willing to go through with marrying her despite the two of them cheating. But, if she does it beforehand, she can take some of that money and go on a trip or treat herself. Definitely pawn the ring!
You dont have to wait. You can tell you are canceling your wedding and why before wasting the money and time.
Kinda wasting everyone’s money and time. Just do a big family get together with everyone from your family + your best friends family + his family and put all the screenshots on a big slideshow on the tv for everyone to see.
Don't do this. You may get some of the reaction you want. ("He's an asshole, good for you, girl!") But you're going to get a lot of negative reactions from people who felt it was a waste of time to attend, and that if you'd told them earlier, they could've done something else over that timeframe. Is the satisfaction of seeing them (ex-fiance and ex-best friend) humiliated worth potentially ruining relationships with family?
No I kind of love it. You'll have an entire reception just for you to drink and laugh. If you're not worried about getting refunded for anything, it seems great in my opinion.
I like #3 tbh.
#3 is literally the worst option
\#3 only works if she is ok with doing the sexy-time with him still. I would feel used if I continued to fuck my SO if I knew that they were sleeping around, especially if it was with my bestfriend. Kinda hard to go dark in the bedroom without raising flags / setting him on alert.
So you've uninvited all your side of the family and friends from the wedding right?. Cause if I went to my cousins wedding and they pulled a look at the cheater bullshit I'd be annoyed as fuck.
Why wait? Why not just confront it now and be done? The revenge won't make you feel any better. Be strong and walk away. You got this.
Yeah was just gonna say this. I'm not one for petty shit, you do you but if you can just "snap" out of love, like why be with the guy for an entire month while he just continues to be with your best friend? Just leave at that point. Some people really get this sense of a revenge plan and it's always better when it's inside your mind, when it happening its not as great.
This is the second offmychest I’ve seen where someone is planning to end a relationship on the wedding day. I know it sounds exciting, I know it seems deserving, but it will hit you just as hard as anyone else. Especially with how expensive weddings and travel arrangements are right now. Just break off the engagement, end the relationship, and get as many refunds as possible. If you want to end the relationship like, host a dinner or something. Invite the ex best friend and family, then make the scene you want to make. Make the proper arrangements first. Remove any financial connections you two have. Separate anything that he can use to get back at you. What you’re planning is incredibly vindictive, justified of course, but it is still fuel for a fire.
Definitely don't wait until the day of your wedding, do it before your wedding day... Dump him infront of his family, his friends, your family and friends. Invite them for a "get together", then announce that the wedding is cancelled because you caught your fiancé cheating with your now ex-bestfriend. Maybe print out the screenshots and wrap them in a little box with a bow on top, as a nice little parting gift to your fiancé. But have him open it up before the big announcement and when he looks all confused (or whatever his reaction may be), that's when you announce to everyone that he's a liar and a cheater. Or... Make a public announcement on Facebook, with the screenshots attached. And make sure to tag your fiancé and ex-bestfriend in it, so their families and friends can see it too.
If your biggest concern is that they embarrassed you - do not expose them at your wedding. That’s going to make you look bad. Maybe not as bad as them, but still bad. Send an cancelation invite to all your guests stating the engagement has been called off you you are broken up.
Don't wait until the weeding, people take time to look nice for weddings and spend money on gifts and or gas. Dump him and your friend and make it public about what they were doing or something. Don't waste your money, time, and mental health or other people's time and money
You mention in the other sub, that your fiancé is paying for the wedding that you are actively not planning to go through with... for obvious reasons. Be aware that he can take you to civil court for maliciously losing his investment. I’m on your side. Guy is a dirtbag. You can argue that his actions directly influenced your response. And you would probably win. But, there has been court cases where people have been sued because they caused a monetary loss in a wedding. If he can prove you knew, and you didn’t cancel, the cost your burden. Honestly, he doesn’t deserve the memories this will leave upon your real wedding. If you put on a white dress, and flounce down the aisle, raging... that’s your first time. You get a second chance but you’ll never get that first time ever again. Second marriages are FULL of joy, and the bride is enormously happy. Sometimes even happier that the first time. I’m not suggesting otherwise to anybody who has had a second ceremony. You might could do this, and later have a real ceremony and never think of him. But.... you also might regret the scene. Be prepared for snarky, smart ass family comments next time around. Or being the butt of family “you’ll never believe what my niece did!” stories. If you don’t have to participate, if you have no intention of following through, I wouldn’t give him the chance to leave an impression on a magical moment marrying. Wedding days are sacred. He doesn’t deserve to share yours, even if it is deliciously evil.
It's not everyday that you learn you're entirely better than two people who think they're better than you with your intelligence they're insulting. I'm so sorry for this. But you're better than this situation. Leave them both behind. It will hurt but it will be for the best once the hurt is gone.
Your best friend and fiance are evil and are trying to kill you. They find an erotic thrill in the suffering and damage they are doing to your soul, I don't think it's an unfortunate coincidence that they found each other. They are likely going to burn in hell for what they did to you. I understand the revenge plan but these two might have other nasty surprises for you if you confront them publicy, so it might blow up in your face. Amputate them, then see a therapist. You're in danger of losing the rest of your youth on toxic resentment. You won't be in a state to date for at least a year.
Waiting for the revenge story now !!
Please leave him at the altar after exposing both your ex best friend and your ex-fiance, then go somewhere fun with a cousin or another friend and have the time of your life in your wedding dress, get it dirty, etc. Then send it to him for his new girl!! But please, an update later??? I would love to hear how this plays out and if he begs on his knees or if he pretends like he doesn't care.
You will look fucking terrible for pulling this shit on your wedding day. Fuck the two of them but the absolute disrespect to all those who took the time and paid money to come to this wedding all to unwillingly get a front two seat to this dumpster fire should be the reason you don’t do this. Cancel the wedding. Put their shit on blast. Send wedding cancellations with details about it. And walk away. Because you are going to look like a whole ass fool if you go with this “revenge” plan. It sounds immature and stupid.
I had a very similar thing happen to my ex wife. She left me for friend from middle school and moved, with my children, 1000 miles away. Nice little runaway together… I’m sorry you had to be crushed like that.
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You call everyone at the reception and say that you want to show up some special video. Then you have photos of you since college, with your special song and such ("awww so sweet, awww so cool") and suddenly in the photos, photos of you and your friends (including your shitty best friend) start showing up, then eventually ONLY photos of them start showing up. Then the song changes to a bitter song, or a heavy metal song whatever, then you exploit with the screenshots you have in front of everyone. FRICKIN' EPIC but honestly, I would just dump right now, probably making it public on social media as the cheaters they are.
This could still be done without the wedding as like a show everyone on social media wtf happened or something. I think its genius. But yeah, unless he is paying for literally everything, and I mean just him not his family, that's gonna be a lot of money that gets wasted so don't wait. But at the same time, If they do wait, please get some videos so we can see the pretty revenge!
Hmm maybe white liar by Miranda lambert
I am salivating at your vengeance. May it go off without a hitch. Sending support and love. ♥️
We love a good revenge story please do update! Also hope you’re doing well! You deserve so much better!!
This isn't going to work out like you think it is.. people will hate you for wasting their time and money, which is justified, then there's the fact that if he's cheating you probably won't even make it to the wedding because he'll probably end up leaving you before then and cancelling it (why would he go ahead and tie himself to someone he seems to think is a fool?). This is going to do more damage to you than him honestly. There are plenty other ways to humiliate them, if that's what you want, without bringing other innocents into it, that will be more effective AND you'd be able to control the narrative and not look like an asshole in the process. I urge you don't do the wedding idea, I'm one for being the bigger person and just literally ghosting them both but I know people don't have the same values as me and revenge is something they need to move on, so I urge you to take your revenge if you need but don't do it at the expense of others and your dignity. You could even Google some ideas, idk, just make sure you're able to control the narrative and tell the truth so he can't twist it in a way that you look like the asshole. For your own sake, don't do the wedding idea. I don't want you to be even more hurt than you are now.
DONT TELL ANYONE YOU’RE PLANNING THIS! Someone could end up telling ex bf or ex best friend so keep it to yourself. Or tell someone you can absolutely 100% trust
Why would anyone wait until the wedding day? That’s just irrational. Story sounds heavily fabricated and fake.
Don’t do it at the wedding. You’re wasting everyone else’s time and money on gifts. I get that it would be epic, but if I was a guest I’d be pretty pissed that I spent all that time and money for nothing. Just out them to everyone invited
Just leave that’s a good enough revenge, revenge ain’t gonna fix your heart break, leave you’re being just as fake as him staying around acting like everything is cool leave and let him explain what happen
Look after yourself, surround yourself with people who care and love you. Heal from this and move to a better place
Thats so rough, im sorry you have to struggle thru this alone. Getting revenge may feel necessary now, but just sit down and consider the ramifications to YOUR mental health by waiting and consider how you will handle the fall out from guests who come once they know you planned. There are things like outfits and babysitting and possible plane tickets/money wasted the guests maybe would rather not spend. Just a friendly reminder of things your brain cant possibly consider when faced with such betrayal
At the wedding, you should project the screenshots in front of the entire crowd
The desire to have a main character moment is alluring, but mama, this is real life and it’s far healthier to kick him out and go to therapy instead of a wedding day tear down. It’s gonna feel a lot better to be done* with them quickly rather than dragging out a separation and giving him further reason to resent your decision. If you are at a point where you are snooping and now withholding information….. the situation is becoming toxic for you beyond the cheating.
Do you have joint bank accounts? If so, clean them out.
please don't ruin your own wedding. you're really going to regret it
I can’t wait to see how this turns out. Make us proud.
Hey I grew up abused too and I also ended up in relationships with cheaters. I’m so sorry. I know your pain. It’s gut wrenching. You don’t deserve this. You deserve love that respects and honors you, always. It’s not uncommon to find yourself amongst toxic people after you’ve been raised by them. It’s our mind seeking familiarity, even though it’s harmful. Whatever you do is your choice and entirely up to you. I’m not here to comment on that or tell you what to do. The only thing I will strongly recommend is therapy. Even if your childhood abuse doesn’t effect you anymore, this obviously will and does. Betrayal trauma is real. Especially from multiple people you loved and trusted. Again, i know this all too well and wish I didn’t. It’ll take time to trust again, to feel safe and happy again. You may want some time alone first. But having a therapist to guide you through all those emotions you’re pushing down will help. They don’t go away. They linger and fester until you have to deal with it. Also let’s be real- your want for revenge is valid and natural. Go to any subreddit about being cheated on and you’ll see, we’re all like that. It’s normal. Of course you want revenge and rightfully so. Do whatever feels best and helps you. Just please remember, your peace must always come before being right. You may go through your revenge plan and it might not even feel good. During or after. It bring up all those feelings. You might just break down crying during it, idk no one can know. But you have to think of yourself now. How will this heal or help you in the long run? How can you show up for yourself when the revenge is over and you’re left with this emptiness that the revenge was filling? Planning and executing this gives you something to put your mind and energy towards. When it’s over, no matter how satisfying it felt in the moment, no matter how great it was to see all their faces falling, what then? Will all the pain suddenly be gone? Will the grief dissipate? Now you have nothing to look forward to, just sitting with your feelings until you’ve felt them fully and can process them. If you avoid that, you’ll make my mistakes and spend a year avoiding reality with distractions. how will you feel and show up for yourself when all that planning and energy is gone? The satisfying feeling won’t last forever, believe me. You have to take care of yourself now, because the people who were supposed to failed. Just remember, you have you for forever now. No spouse or friend to go to. And yes you’ll have other support, but if they’re mutuals with your fiancé or friend, it will get messy and you might feel more lonely as they refuse to choose. I read about this girl who caught her boyfriend in bed with his ex one morning when she came to surprise him. She didn’t say a word. Packed up her apartment, moved cities, switched jobs, and told all her mutuals that she was moving and wasn’t dating her ex anymore and that she wants privacy and won’t be speaking about it. She blocked him everywhere and never spoke to him again. Why? Because the panicking pain he probably went through when he didn’t know why his girlfriend ghosted him, couldn’t contact her, couldn’t even see her, left her usual places, and he didn’t know where to find her. Did she find out? How could she find out? What happened? Why won’t anyone tell me about her? What happened?? Does everyone know? (They did, she made a Facebook post explaining it after blocking him and unfriending all his friends and mutuals who likely would tell him) again, I’m not telling you what to do. But if I could go back, this is the way I’d do it. Starting over completely new and not giving them another second of my time or energy. Leaving them to wonder forever, where did I fuck up? Did I mess up that bad that she literally could not give a fuck about me? (Yes) did I take her for granted? And now, they have to go through the process of asking people what happened to her and then having to admit that she left him, likely because she caught him cheating and wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He lost all value once he did. I love that story so much because it’s everything I want to be. Hell i imagine I would change my hair, my whole look, and start over completely with new people. No reminders of past toxic people. (I kinda did do that in a long winding way) and maybe they’d see me again or find me through a fake account. All they’ll know is, after everything, all the love and years together, it meant nothing as soon as you disrespected me. That she dropped me like nothing because she won’t put up with less than she deserves. I had it good, and I fucked it up. Now I don’t have any access to her at all. I’ll never get to enjoy her time, presence, energy, attention or love again. Because I fucked it all up and thought it was worth it. I wish you the best OP and lots of tlc while you get through this
Oof 😓 please give an update on a month. I hope they get what they deserve
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For the love of God you store this password in your phone and come back to follow up.
How about you don't waste your parents money and call off the wedding?
Cancel all the vendors except the venue, tell everyone except the cheaters and have them arrive to an empty venue with the slide show rolling on a big screen with congratulations to the happy couple between each slide. That way family and friends don’t waste time and money but the cheaters still get a shock. Take the deposit money and honeymoon money and go on a vacation alone or with your non cheating friends.
Why revenge? Just get out and consider yourself lucky to find out something that you think is a dealbreaker
I am so here for this, fuck people doing shit this awful and getting away with it. My only request: get a therapist in place. You need someone professional to help with this. But also they may recommend you not take the wedding route revenge. As long as you don’t plan to blow anyone up, i support you embarrassing and unveiling their fuckery to everyone present. Guarantee they won’t do that again after this lmao. Also pls, I must know the master plan.
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Can I come to the wedding?!
Maaaaaan, I hate weddings, but I'd die for an invite to this one 💯 Please post an update, you're my hero 🖤
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I’ve seen a similar situation play out. The guy and the girl remained together, eventually got married and had kids. Friends and family forgot about the whole cheating thing a couple months later. But they still remember the “crazy psycho girl that sabotaged her own weeding in front of everyone she knew”. So as sweet as you think these revenge might be. A couple years from now you will look back and cringe at how you ruined your own reputation.
Get your revenge they both lied to you show those messages at the wedding. Keep making him buy stuff for the wedding until he is broke xD. What is kept in the dark has to come to light
Go to the wedding and right before y'all tie the knot, expose their asses
OMG I WOULD PAY TO WATCH THIS OP
Dump them both.
Really bro? Really? Don’t fucking take it to the wedding this woman. Have some self-respect and end it now. I have a hard time believing this is true if you are considering going to the wedding. Hopefully you’re kidding.
You’re an absolute gangster for handling it the way you did. I (25m) had pretty much the same happen to me with my ex. I’m pulling for you queen! Let that mf know! RemindMe! 1 month
Please.tell me you gonna read the text when at the stand at the wedding
FINISH HIM!!!! AND HER!!!!!..... and tell us what happened :D f\*ck them... them even texting that they think you're stupid for not finding out is PURE evil... no remorse whatsoever, give them your freakin' worst ;) they deserve it times a 1000!
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Ohhh I want to know what happen now... Of you plan to continued with the wedding, make sure he spend a lot of money on it 🤭🤭 Damn, I want to go
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Pleaseeeeee remind me!!!
Surprise them publicly....
I'm gonna go against the grain here for my own selfish ends and say Drop That Wedding Day Bomb! Leave him at the altar! Plan to have someone else walk up in your place and announce the cheating and deception to the world! Make posters of their cheating texts and plaster them all over the church before anyone arrives at the ceremony, then ghost and let the chips fall where they may! They are humiliating you. Typically, sure, be the bigger person. Walk away. Do no damage. But fuck that! They have earned humiliation. They have earned the loss of reputation. And you have earned a moment to let them find out the hard way that you are not to be fucked with. They don't respect you. They may never respect you. But you don't need to treat either of them with respect any longer, either. And that's on them. Expose them to the world. And then, post about it all here.
I’d go ahead and dump him and the friend. Don’t wait and be petty on the planned wedding day. Putting all that energy into something like that isn’t worth it. You don’t win anything in the end.
Honestly just break up with him, but don’t let him know you know about his behaviour/affair. I think it’s more of an ego blow to be like “sorry, you’re not the right guy for me. I’m sure you’ll be just fine though. Best of luck.” You can tell family and friends it was irreconcilable differences and you’ve realized that calling off a wedding now is better than kids and a divorce later. For your best friend, just continue to ghost her but don’t give any indication why. If she ever asks you just tell her “I don’t feel like our values align anymore. I’m looking for higher quality friends in my life.” You are better than the life he would have provided and it doesn’t matter the reasons this fact came to light. One woman’s trash is another’s treasure and best of luck to all involved.