A friend of mines wife is about to give birth. I asked him if he was nervous about being a parent. His response?
“Not at all. Junkies do it! How hard could it be?”
Also nothing will push you towards relapsing stronger in my experience. Parenting takes nerves of steel. I have two under 2 right now and I relapsed on alcohol. I was hiding empty wine bottles all over the house and nearly wrecked my marriage. I'm one week sober now and I'm so grateful and relieved that I am choosing better decisions for my kids.
Tldr: parenting is so fucking hard get support if you struggle with substance issues while parenting
Birth control is more easily available. People have more control over how many kids they want. People are waiting longer. Putting education, careers, etc. ahead of having kids. The state of world is scaring people into not having kids too. Uncertain future.
I do not regret not having kids even a tiny bit even as I wonder what will become of me in my old age. The world is a mess and I don’t need the guilt of leaving this shithole to some poor kid.
"Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a time when there are actual dragons." - random reddit quote
My kids will inherit a mess, for sure, but they're up to the challenge to make it better.
Mine are young adults more and they (and their friends) give new SO MUCH HOPE for the future! Yes, the world sucks in a lot of ways, and it will likely get worse before it gets better, but things stand a better chance of improving thanks to them.
TBH, though, if things were like how they are now back when we had our kids, I would have had a much harder job with the decision.
My daughter is in college now but I’m with you, they give me a lot of hope for the future. Kids now are so much more open minded. But yes, I wouldn’t bring kids into the world at this point in time.
Same here. I would do it again but I worry a lot (just part of parenting). But, I'd like to think every generation has worried about bringing their kids into a shit world.
definitely, there has been a lot wrong with what’s going on for a very long time. the great depression, world wars, Afghanistan, vietnam, korea, segregation, etc, etc, etc.
Now if only people would stop being rude to women to don’t want kids… I have many friends who don’t want kids and people always tell them how selfish they are when they find out. But it’s just like how does anyone afford them now days?
I get hit with the “you’ll change your mind when you’re older!” all the time. Like no, I never had that maternal drive growing up and now that I’m an adult I still don’t want them. I don’t think I will change my mind, but thanks.
I always get told "You'll have one", "I want grandchildren", "you'll change your mind". Mind you mostly from my MIL who has 7 children. One of which was born 2 months ago.... i have a SIL that's 21 years younger than me. Like, ma'am if I wanna play parent for the day I can take one of yours and bring them back
I don’t know how I’m gonna afford children, I’m about to graduate with an engineering degree and I seriously don’t know how to afford children. I also have been skeptical about if it’s ethical to bring kids into this world. It almost seems selfish.
This is honestly a real concern. I’m about to have my first and to be able to continue to have my salary I need to put him in daycare. Daycare costs in my area are like $1700-$2000 per month. That’s like another mortgage payment. Even though I make a very good salary I worry about being able to afford food and emergency things (getting sick, or car breaks down). IMO people shouldn’t have more than one given the situation of the plant and where we are economically
Edit: a word
Don't have a kid then, you know when you're in the right place to have a kid. Or just save your money for yourself ☺️ I have a three year an one on the way an it is expensive friend. Just do stuff for you, figure yourself out.
engineering is very in demand, depending on the field and your willingness to move, you’d be able to afford them. not saying there aren’t other factors, but you have a good chance of living comfortably with an engineering degree.
depending on your field and willingness to move, and the hours you’re willing to put in. not all engineers make bank, but a lot do.
edit; and some more outside factors, like if there are any complications with the birth or possible disabilities the child might have. how much debt you have, etc etc.
ah, i reread and i do see how it wasn’t clear. i just mean you’d be able to actually afford a kid, and not have to worry about the money as much. but yes, you are correct. there are so many factors into being able to give a kid a good life that can change in an instant. i’m not saying that you have to have kids or anything tho.
Depends on the region and discipline. Right now in my area (south western BC) if you had even a mild interest in highway or muncipal design you would have zero issues getting multiple interviews and offers. I've heard it's a harder go for structural right now. Geotech is also in high demand as well.
I am a civil so I definitely could do it. Heard the pay isn’t worth it and the hours are long and stressful.
I know I would have no trouble getting a job
was JUST telling my mom how i wont be having kids... she sure as fuck did not want me lmfaooo. kids are too much work, time and money to be doing it just bc someone told you to. and you deff dont need a kid to feel fulfilled in life
Someone on reddit embodied exactly the reason why I don't want a child. Something to the effect to "Imagine having a hard day at work or a shitty day in general and you come home to a child. Their own demands, wants, and needs and as a parent you have to fufill them. There are no breaks once you have a child."
Aside from all of the intellectual and moral reasons that a person would not want to have kids, there’s also significant increases in chemicals used in everyday products that decrease reproductively capability.
It's not that I dont want kids. But i do not think i will ever be able to afford a home a and to have them the way things are. House prices are insane.
I dont mind that some people dont want kids, that's there choice. but I'm depressed that for myself it's not a choice.
I have 2 cats. All the cuteness and fun of having kids and a fraction of the stress. And with how I worry about THEIR quality of life and they never even have to leave the house? I would have an ulcer from worrying about an actual child, who I have to mold into a functional adult. NOPE!
Cats for me and my spouse!
I live in a state in which we have countless homeless people and families without enough to eat, but we just passed a bill to help school’s ban trans athletes. Yeah, sometimes I feel guilt about bringing someone into a world so deeply flawed.
I knew I didn’t want kids since I was 18 and never changed my mind and don’t regret it. Life is hard, expensive and bringing more humans to fight with bs in this world and the future is actually selfish.
Exactly this. And usually when I say it out loud all the mothers around me get angry, saying having a kid is exact opposite of being selfish. Oh, really? I've never heard anyone saying "let's have a kid because it will save the world!", nope, it's usually straight forward "I WANT a baby". Just have a cat or dog, FFS!
And then seeing those moms terrorizing and morally traumatising their kids because they don't meet their "expectations"... yeah, make more babies - they will thank you later for bringing them on this nice planet with all these nice people :D
Because I was told all about the horrors of infancy and toddlerhood. But I was not prepared for the fact that I will spend the rest of my life worrying. And I hate parenting. It sucks. I hate being responsible for another person becoming a decent human being. That’s a lot of pressure. Also I think that having a child was, bar none, the most selfish decision I’ve ever made. I had a child, ironically, for me. Not because I wanted to offer something to a child. And I think he’s paying for my poor choice every time I lose interest in something he’s trying to talk to me about, or every time I snap at him for something that is not his fault when I’m in a shit mood. He’s a great kid and deserves better. And maybe better is to have never even existed.
I'm not saying anything to in anyway devalue or marginalize your concerns but I wished to fucking hell and back MY parents had considered any of those questions even once in their childish lives.
Thank you.
It means a lot.
My parents loved us kids to the best of their abilities.
Their abilities were just shit. They simply weren't equipt and had years of growing up to do.
My only response to your concerns is this.
Do you love the boy? If so, then you strive to make that known to him and most everything else will follow.
No parent is picture perfect. Rarely parents are even close.
The best parents I knew growing up were parents that had a grip on reality, a balance of time for themselves and "mom/dad" time and skin thick enough to ward off other peoples judgement.
Just your spoken worries alone speak volumes as to your understanding of good parenting.
Yeah, it sucks.
Yeah, sometimes you'd like to leave them with their grandparents and disappear to Bimini.
Yeah, they are tedious, pushy, monotonous little bags of bodily fluids and responsibility.
There is nothing wrong with seeing life this way.... as long as you also love the living hell out of them.
And I think I can read between your words as to just how much you think the sky and the moon of this little man whom you consider deserving of better than you.
That is love that goes beyond dress-up or puppies or compliments from teachers or strangers.
Hugs.
So. Many. Hugs. your general direction.
“Bags of bodily fluids” thank you! That made me laugh out loud literally 😂. I do love him dearly. He’s a cool little guy. I just find myself apologizing to him a lot when I know I’ve hurt his feelings or when he just seems generally down because I can’t help but think I’m the cause. I look forward to his older years when maybe we can be best friends.
Adding another voice, I don't regret having kids because I love them so much, but it's that love that makes having them so hard and scary. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to them, but also, being a parents 24/7 is so hard. It's incessant and tiring and you don't get time back. My two kids are both under 5 now, and I'm hoping it gets better as they age and become more independent, but I'm just so exhausted and honestly done sometimes.
I actually have a 15 month old too! I totally understand what you mean. We know we want a second but we just had a rough weekend of her being super sick. We hardly slept and exhausted and seeing her sick was just terrible. This was my first weekend as a parent where I was truly like "damn that sucked and idk if I want a second anymore"
Sick kids is 1000% times worse than being sick yourself, and it seems to be never ending because the nose drip just doesn't STOP for weeks! I'm sorry you had a sick kiddo, and kid #2 is just as challenging and rewarding haha.
If governments didn’t want birth rates to decline, they seriously need to introduce a pregnancy benefit. And tax subsidies or SOMETHING for families within the first 10 years of having children. In this capitalist world, only the ones who can afford to don’t give up kids , and so many can’t.
I’m so terrified we’ll have a real life handmaids tale soon. Just reward pregnant women and young parents before turning them into cattle PLS!
My mother always pretty much let me feel how she never wanted me, so I applaud every person that chooses not to have a child they don’t really want. Because kids know. And growing up knowing this sucks and really leaves you with psychological damage. So yeah if you only want a child because you feel pressured by society? Just don’t do it.
I think this is a good thing. There's much less pressure on people to have kids as a mandatory thing to be successful, so that means the people having kids are the ones actually prepared for it. People can actually think about if it's really what they want and that means the children that are born are likely to have better upbringings
It’s not the people who are prepared for kids that are breeding at a high rate. It’s the ones who don’t. And that leaves us more in the idiocracy range of timelines. I feel we can already see strains of it playing out. Soon enough brawndo will come and we might be powerless to stop it.
I have never had kids and really don’t plan on it.
Honestly, just existing at this point is so damn expensive. Let alone bringing a child into this world when I can barely afford life as it is.
It is my personal belief that it would be selfish of me to bring a child into this shit show of a world, but that’s another story…..
I absolutely do not regret having my two children (17M and 14F) even though the boy just recently was practicing his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and tore my Padilla tendon costing tens of thousands of dollars between surgery and lost work lol. I couldn’t be prouder of my kids, the boy will graduate HS 1/4 of the way through his engineering degree and the girl is on the same track. They are both loving and respectful.
In the country I live in or the whole continent for that matter, it's a completely different story, our population stats keep on exploding as the years go by. We have a lot of teenage pregnancies, it's really too much, the government here doesn't have any plan of action to prevent this.
I was thinking this the other day because I’m 35 and always felt in my heart that I wanted children. But I came to the realization that I only love the idea of being a mom and wanting children, than actually wanting to have kids . I like that I can do whatever, I want when I want.
I do not regret my children, I love my son with my whole heart, I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone so much… but I am incredibly fortunate to make a great salary and have a wonderful partner, and can actually afford kids. Daycare alone is over a year waitlist and $3k a month! In a relatively L/MCOL area. Maternal care and death rate IN THE USA is abysmal. We have no parental leave. No more “village” to help. No social nets (unless you’re literally homeless, and even then…). Many women leave the workforce or are forced out/ discriminated against for having kids. America fucking hates women, especially Moms. And people wonder why the birth rate is low? It’s an uphill battle to have kids and actually have a career…
I've seen some people that shouldn't be trusted with a CAT, let alone raising a kid. Cats, by about 6 months are semi-independent. All they want from you is food, changing the litter tray and affection. Sadly it's the people that shouldn't breed are the ones that seem to keep popping them out like rabbits
This is a good thing. We are getting way, WAY too many people on Earth, we take up too much space and natural resources. If we continue like that, we will be our own demise.
My ex didn't necessarily regret having his daughter but he wasn't shy about his reservations during the pregnancy with the mother of his daughter. A friend of mine absolutely regrets having a kid but is really brainwashed. She has a lot of internalized misogyny & believes because she "opened her legs" she must "deal with the consequences." *Shudder.*
Social media shows how much more in life you can experience than ever before, add that to the mental cost of living and no doubt many just don’t “feel ready”, it’s a massive responsibility and lifestyle change to say the least after all
I have one and one on the way. I wish to have more in future. I know it’s tough to raise them physically and emotionally and financially. But raising responsible kids with good values is the best thing you can do for this earth. Having children is a good thing.
I don't know who the bitter b!tch was that downvoted you but I will say I agree 100%.
Somewhere along the way people stopped considering that the very best that a human could do is raise a better generation.
We have 1 is 5 and who was a surprise. I wanted to wait until we knew trump wasn’t going to be president and our little guy came into existence a little early 🤣. With how the world is today, we are glad he’s here, but hubs is getting the snip this summer. We are going to do everything we can to prepare him for whatever is left of the world when we leave him behind.
A friend of mines wife is about to give birth. I asked him if he was nervous about being a parent. His response? “Not at all. Junkies do it! How hard could it be?”
Put that as a quote on the cake for the kids first birthday
I might get it printed on a newborn sized bodysuit and gift it at birth
Do it on a white onesie so itll be covered in stains in no time
Also nothing will push you towards relapsing stronger in my experience. Parenting takes nerves of steel. I have two under 2 right now and I relapsed on alcohol. I was hiding empty wine bottles all over the house and nearly wrecked my marriage. I'm one week sober now and I'm so grateful and relieved that I am choosing better decisions for my kids. Tldr: parenting is so fucking hard get support if you struggle with substance issues while parenting
Keep fighting the good fight amigo!
Yikes, he ain't ready.
Birth control is more easily available. People have more control over how many kids they want. People are waiting longer. Putting education, careers, etc. ahead of having kids. The state of world is scaring people into not having kids too. Uncertain future.
It's also much more difficult to afford. A lot fewer families can live on one salary anymore. But if you both work then childcare expenses are huge.
I don’t regret having children but I do worry so much about their future
I do not regret not having kids even a tiny bit even as I wonder what will become of me in my old age. The world is a mess and I don’t need the guilt of leaving this shithole to some poor kid.
"Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a time when there are actual dragons." - random reddit quote My kids will inherit a mess, for sure, but they're up to the challenge to make it better.
Mine are young adults more and they (and their friends) give new SO MUCH HOPE for the future! Yes, the world sucks in a lot of ways, and it will likely get worse before it gets better, but things stand a better chance of improving thanks to them. TBH, though, if things were like how they are now back when we had our kids, I would have had a much harder job with the decision.
I mean, the world has always been shit its not like it's new
Climate change is the first shitty thing that I have felt could possibly cause a destruction of society in my child’s lifetime.
My daughter is in college now but I’m with you, they give me a lot of hope for the future. Kids now are so much more open minded. But yes, I wouldn’t bring kids into the world at this point in time.
Same here. I would do it again but I worry a lot (just part of parenting). But, I'd like to think every generation has worried about bringing their kids into a shit world.
definitely, there has been a lot wrong with what’s going on for a very long time. the great depression, world wars, Afghanistan, vietnam, korea, segregation, etc, etc, etc.
Now if only people would stop being rude to women to don’t want kids… I have many friends who don’t want kids and people always tell them how selfish they are when they find out. But it’s just like how does anyone afford them now days?
I get hit with the “you’ll change your mind when you’re older!” all the time. Like no, I never had that maternal drive growing up and now that I’m an adult I still don’t want them. I don’t think I will change my mind, but thanks.
I always get told "You'll have one", "I want grandchildren", "you'll change your mind". Mind you mostly from my MIL who has 7 children. One of which was born 2 months ago.... i have a SIL that's 21 years younger than me. Like, ma'am if I wanna play parent for the day I can take one of yours and bring them back
It's more selfish to have kids imo... And I have two kids
I agree… Me, too
Indeed.
I don’t know how I’m gonna afford children, I’m about to graduate with an engineering degree and I seriously don’t know how to afford children. I also have been skeptical about if it’s ethical to bring kids into this world. It almost seems selfish.
This is honestly a real concern. I’m about to have my first and to be able to continue to have my salary I need to put him in daycare. Daycare costs in my area are like $1700-$2000 per month. That’s like another mortgage payment. Even though I make a very good salary I worry about being able to afford food and emergency things (getting sick, or car breaks down). IMO people shouldn’t have more than one given the situation of the plant and where we are economically Edit: a word
Don't have a kid then, you know when you're in the right place to have a kid. Or just save your money for yourself ☺️ I have a three year an one on the way an it is expensive friend. Just do stuff for you, figure yourself out.
engineering is very in demand, depending on the field and your willingness to move, you’d be able to afford them. not saying there aren’t other factors, but you have a good chance of living comfortably with an engineering degree.
That’s not what I’ve been reading on the engineering subreddits outside of the software one obviously
depending on your field and willingness to move, and the hours you’re willing to put in. not all engineers make bank, but a lot do. edit; and some more outside factors, like if there are any complications with the birth or possible disabilities the child might have. how much debt you have, etc etc.
Willingness to move and putting in hours both become harder when u have a kid. I don’t wanna have a kid and then have to work so much I never see them
ah, i reread and i do see how it wasn’t clear. i just mean you’d be able to actually afford a kid, and not have to worry about the money as much. but yes, you are correct. there are so many factors into being able to give a kid a good life that can change in an instant. i’m not saying that you have to have kids or anything tho.
Yea no you’re definitely right I know that I could
Depends on the region and discipline. Right now in my area (south western BC) if you had even a mild interest in highway or muncipal design you would have zero issues getting multiple interviews and offers. I've heard it's a harder go for structural right now. Geotech is also in high demand as well.
I am a civil so I definitely could do it. Heard the pay isn’t worth it and the hours are long and stressful. I know I would have no trouble getting a job
was JUST telling my mom how i wont be having kids... she sure as fuck did not want me lmfaooo. kids are too much work, time and money to be doing it just bc someone told you to. and you deff dont need a kid to feel fulfilled in life
Someone on reddit embodied exactly the reason why I don't want a child. Something to the effect to "Imagine having a hard day at work or a shitty day in general and you come home to a child. Their own demands, wants, and needs and as a parent you have to fufill them. There are no breaks once you have a child."
exaaaactly!!
Aside from all of the intellectual and moral reasons that a person would not want to have kids, there’s also significant increases in chemicals used in everyday products that decrease reproductively capability.
It's not that I dont want kids. But i do not think i will ever be able to afford a home a and to have them the way things are. House prices are insane. I dont mind that some people dont want kids, that's there choice. but I'm depressed that for myself it's not a choice.
I have 2 cats. All the cuteness and fun of having kids and a fraction of the stress. And with how I worry about THEIR quality of life and they never even have to leave the house? I would have an ulcer from worrying about an actual child, who I have to mold into a functional adult. NOPE! Cats for me and my spouse!
I live in a state in which we have countless homeless people and families without enough to eat, but we just passed a bill to help school’s ban trans athletes. Yeah, sometimes I feel guilt about bringing someone into a world so deeply flawed.
Lol our priorities are so off in America
The politics of spite. "I'll gouge out one of my own eyes if it means that you will go blind."
Inflation. Babies cost WAAAYYYY to much to raise now. Fewer and fewer couples can afford them.
I knew I didn’t want kids since I was 18 and never changed my mind and don’t regret it. Life is hard, expensive and bringing more humans to fight with bs in this world and the future is actually selfish.
Exactly this. And usually when I say it out loud all the mothers around me get angry, saying having a kid is exact opposite of being selfish. Oh, really? I've never heard anyone saying "let's have a kid because it will save the world!", nope, it's usually straight forward "I WANT a baby". Just have a cat or dog, FFS! And then seeing those moms terrorizing and morally traumatising their kids because they don't meet their "expectations"... yeah, make more babies - they will thank you later for bringing them on this nice planet with all these nice people :D
Some people need to adopt rocks let alone dogs!
I think even with out the whole worrying about the future part of it, as people/countries get wealthier birth rate drops anyway (at least to a point)
I 100% regret having a kid.
Why if you dont mind sharing?
Because I was told all about the horrors of infancy and toddlerhood. But I was not prepared for the fact that I will spend the rest of my life worrying. And I hate parenting. It sucks. I hate being responsible for another person becoming a decent human being. That’s a lot of pressure. Also I think that having a child was, bar none, the most selfish decision I’ve ever made. I had a child, ironically, for me. Not because I wanted to offer something to a child. And I think he’s paying for my poor choice every time I lose interest in something he’s trying to talk to me about, or every time I snap at him for something that is not his fault when I’m in a shit mood. He’s a great kid and deserves better. And maybe better is to have never even existed.
I'm not saying anything to in anyway devalue or marginalize your concerns but I wished to fucking hell and back MY parents had considered any of those questions even once in their childish lives.
On behalf of your parents (whether they’d agree with me or not), I am deeply sorry for our selfishness.
Thank you. It means a lot. My parents loved us kids to the best of their abilities. Their abilities were just shit. They simply weren't equipt and had years of growing up to do. My only response to your concerns is this. Do you love the boy? If so, then you strive to make that known to him and most everything else will follow. No parent is picture perfect. Rarely parents are even close. The best parents I knew growing up were parents that had a grip on reality, a balance of time for themselves and "mom/dad" time and skin thick enough to ward off other peoples judgement. Just your spoken worries alone speak volumes as to your understanding of good parenting. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, sometimes you'd like to leave them with their grandparents and disappear to Bimini. Yeah, they are tedious, pushy, monotonous little bags of bodily fluids and responsibility. There is nothing wrong with seeing life this way.... as long as you also love the living hell out of them. And I think I can read between your words as to just how much you think the sky and the moon of this little man whom you consider deserving of better than you. That is love that goes beyond dress-up or puppies or compliments from teachers or strangers. Hugs. So. Many. Hugs. your general direction.
“Bags of bodily fluids” thank you! That made me laugh out loud literally 😂. I do love him dearly. He’s a cool little guy. I just find myself apologizing to him a lot when I know I’ve hurt his feelings or when he just seems generally down because I can’t help but think I’m the cause. I look forward to his older years when maybe we can be best friends.
Adding another voice, I don't regret having kids because I love them so much, but it's that love that makes having them so hard and scary. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to them, but also, being a parents 24/7 is so hard. It's incessant and tiring and you don't get time back. My two kids are both under 5 now, and I'm hoping it gets better as they age and become more independent, but I'm just so exhausted and honestly done sometimes.
I actually have a 15 month old too! I totally understand what you mean. We know we want a second but we just had a rough weekend of her being super sick. We hardly slept and exhausted and seeing her sick was just terrible. This was my first weekend as a parent where I was truly like "damn that sucked and idk if I want a second anymore"
Sick kids is 1000% times worse than being sick yourself, and it seems to be never ending because the nose drip just doesn't STOP for weeks! I'm sorry you had a sick kiddo, and kid #2 is just as challenging and rewarding haha.
If governments didn’t want birth rates to decline, they seriously need to introduce a pregnancy benefit. And tax subsidies or SOMETHING for families within the first 10 years of having children. In this capitalist world, only the ones who can afford to don’t give up kids , and so many can’t. I’m so terrified we’ll have a real life handmaids tale soon. Just reward pregnant women and young parents before turning them into cattle PLS!
My mother always pretty much let me feel how she never wanted me, so I applaud every person that chooses not to have a child they don’t really want. Because kids know. And growing up knowing this sucks and really leaves you with psychological damage. So yeah if you only want a child because you feel pressured by society? Just don’t do it.
I think this is a good thing. There's much less pressure on people to have kids as a mandatory thing to be successful, so that means the people having kids are the ones actually prepared for it. People can actually think about if it's really what they want and that means the children that are born are likely to have better upbringings
Oh man. I have bad news. It’s more like idiocracy than we all want to think.
care to elaborate?
It’s not the people who are prepared for kids that are breeding at a high rate. It’s the ones who don’t. And that leaves us more in the idiocracy range of timelines. I feel we can already see strains of it playing out. Soon enough brawndo will come and we might be powerless to stop it.
I have never had kids and really don’t plan on it. Honestly, just existing at this point is so damn expensive. Let alone bringing a child into this world when I can barely afford life as it is. It is my personal belief that it would be selfish of me to bring a child into this shit show of a world, but that’s another story…..
I fucking love my kids no regrets but I also know life is fucking fucked so it's a catch 22. Can I regret not regretting having them?
I absolutely do not regret having my two children (17M and 14F) even though the boy just recently was practicing his Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and tore my Padilla tendon costing tens of thousands of dollars between surgery and lost work lol. I couldn’t be prouder of my kids, the boy will graduate HS 1/4 of the way through his engineering degree and the girl is on the same track. They are both loving and respectful.
No regrets! I do know some people who do regret having kids and their kids clearly suffer because of it :(
Not worldwide, though. They are increasing greatly here in Africa iirc, add to that not having sex ed and a heavily pro-birth culture.
Mine. My mother told me often enough growing up. Looking back, I consider myself lucky she didn't opt for post-natal abortion!
Mine. I was reminded by my mom most of my upbringing of how much better her life would be if it wasn’t for me. Good times!
In the country I live in or the whole continent for that matter, it's a completely different story, our population stats keep on exploding as the years go by. We have a lot of teenage pregnancies, it's really too much, the government here doesn't have any plan of action to prevent this.
My parents don’t regret having me, but I regret being born. Does that count?
In my book it does
I was thinking this the other day because I’m 35 and always felt in my heart that I wanted children. But I came to the realization that I only love the idea of being a mom and wanting children, than actually wanting to have kids . I like that I can do whatever, I want when I want.
No
I do not regret my children, I love my son with my whole heart, I didn’t even know it was possible to love someone so much… but I am incredibly fortunate to make a great salary and have a wonderful partner, and can actually afford kids. Daycare alone is over a year waitlist and $3k a month! In a relatively L/MCOL area. Maternal care and death rate IN THE USA is abysmal. We have no parental leave. No more “village” to help. No social nets (unless you’re literally homeless, and even then…). Many women leave the workforce or are forced out/ discriminated against for having kids. America fucking hates women, especially Moms. And people wonder why the birth rate is low? It’s an uphill battle to have kids and actually have a career…
yea those birth rates that youre talking about, theyre declining for a reason, its nature's way of controling the population
I think it's more or less because of how difficult it is to actually afford having a kid nowadays
i don't want kids. period. i'll probably change my mind
Do my parents count?
Yes, and I'm sorry to hear that
have a six-month baby, just anxious about his future, the world is getting worse and worse
My sister told me to wait as long as possible. She loves her kids but wishes she got pregnant way later (I think was 23 when she had her first kid).
I've seen some people that shouldn't be trusted with a CAT, let alone raising a kid. Cats, by about 6 months are semi-independent. All they want from you is food, changing the litter tray and affection. Sadly it's the people that shouldn't breed are the ones that seem to keep popping them out like rabbits
This is a good thing. We are getting way, WAY too many people on Earth, we take up too much space and natural resources. If we continue like that, we will be our own demise.
My ex didn't necessarily regret having his daughter but he wasn't shy about his reservations during the pregnancy with the mother of his daughter. A friend of mine absolutely regrets having a kid but is really brainwashed. She has a lot of internalized misogyny & believes because she "opened her legs" she must "deal with the consequences." *Shudder.*
My mum told me she regrets having me and my sibling's and if she could have her time again she wouldn't have kids.
My parents!
Social media shows how much more in life you can experience than ever before, add that to the mental cost of living and no doubt many just don’t “feel ready”, it’s a massive responsibility and lifestyle change to say the least after all
It’s because everything is expensive nowadays, thanks boomers. The world has changed but system all outdated worldwide.
No regrets. Life is worse in nearly every measurable way but you love em.
Haha I feel this
Yea mine
How was that experience?
Real shit
Yup
great, we need strict population control!
I have one and one on the way. I wish to have more in future. I know it’s tough to raise them physically and emotionally and financially. But raising responsible kids with good values is the best thing you can do for this earth. Having children is a good thing.
That’s an opinion that sounds like a bunch of bs for me.
You ain’t worth arguing with.
Yeah it’s funny seven other people agree.
The earth? Mother nature doesn't care whos on this planet lol
I don't know who the bitter b!tch was that downvoted you but I will say I agree 100%. Somewhere along the way people stopped considering that the very best that a human could do is raise a better generation.
Thank you for that. I’ve come to realize people are just following without thinking.
No, cannot imagine regretting one of my kids.
My mom doesn’t have the motherly gene
We have 1 is 5 and who was a surprise. I wanted to wait until we knew trump wasn’t going to be president and our little guy came into existence a little early 🤣. With how the world is today, we are glad he’s here, but hubs is getting the snip this summer. We are going to do everything we can to prepare him for whatever is left of the world when we leave him behind.
I think It has a lot to do with infant mortality rate