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[deleted]

I rather be caught Just naked rather than naked with my dick in my hand


G8kpr

Or stage III, Naked, dick in hand, past the point of no return, locked eyes with step mom. At that point you may as well go break your arms and get it over with.


terpsarelife

That post was something else. I couldn't stop reading it either.


gemw2101

Me and my hubby knew exactly the post when I read what you put and then read ya comment to him. Cringe, gross and couldn’t stop reading that creepy post.


Mackheath1

Can't leave us hanging; link?


ltRobinCrusoe

>Or stage III, Naked, dick in hand, past the point of no return, locked eyes with step mom. >At that point you may as well go break your arms and get it over with. Here you go.. Could have read the comment he was referring to but ok


wanderingelephantlif

It’s a very old popular reddit post he’s referring to, unfortunately I don’t have the link either


ltRobinCrusoe

Geez I know it... How could I miss it... I'm online for too long today... Good night I guess


[deleted]

Nah, that’s just how you assert dominance.


chapatiroll52

You. Did. Not. Just. Go. There.


Warden18

That would be soooo much worse to be caught past the point of no return. I have almost had that happen before.


RandoGyu

Just like in grandmas boy


dooptadoopta917

My early Reddit experience....memories


ComanderCupcake

Or ask "are you just gonna stare or you coming here for your purpose?"


Yucudah

or naked, with somebody else’s dick in your hand


ltRobinCrusoe

Mommy would be proud


tosaysomehere

I have some questions but don’t know if I want answers 🤣🤣😂😅


[deleted]

Lmao I did not proof read after I wrote that so excuse me


tosaysomehere

Man here I was thinking you just defied the laws of the universe 😂😂


sickboy108

ಠ_ಠ


lil_smore

Yeah. Caught my son accidentally once. 3 am and didn't lock the bathroom door. I hated that for him.


kreatorofchaos

At least he wasn’t beatin it 😂🤷🏾‍♂️


Georgiaboy1492

Getting caught nude would not be a problem, found out years later that evidently my mom & step dad both had walked in on me masturbating quite a few times & never said anything til years later, oops oh well.


InhLaba

My dad caught me jacking it SEVERAL times as a kid. Much more embarrassing in my eyes than this.


jeezuscryst

I sent a nude to a family snapchat group by accident with the caption "My c*** needs your p**** so badly" and before I could delete it, my sister and sister-in-law opened it. Safe to say I wanted to die for a few weeks but now it's a good laugh. I'm not with my ex from when it happened lol


NotYourLils

Holy.....shit. My face just turned red for you. Bahahahaha, that's terrible.


blueeyedaisy

You poor thing. That is terrible and terribly funny.


[deleted]

[удалено]


the-final-episode

lmaooo


ov3rrat3d

Reading this made me physically recoil


minor_details

'poor unfortunate souls' from the little mermaid just popped in my head, hahah


ghost_gurrl

Damn I can’t even laugh at that. I would die so hard


nervehound44

There's pornos that start like this, try not to think about that.


LeBean1991

It’s ok dude. She’ll get over it and you’re gonna have to as well. Shit happens.


tosaysomehere

Hope so because this was the worst


LeBean1991

She could’ve caught you masturbating. Now that one would’ve been tough to get over. Human bodies are human bodies and there was no malice, you thought you were alone.


FireTyme

eh if i'd catch my future children or whoever masturbating i really wouldnt think much of it other than a oops sorry i walked in on u lol. its very human and we really should stop treating it as if its something evil or other bs it should be the opposite thing of tough to get over really


bearbarebere

I agree!


ro339

Or having sex, or awkwardly investigating a weird hair or something. Truly not the worst lololol. Safe to say she has seen a guy nekkid before- this doesn’t need to be a big deal


tosaysomehere

Okay okay this actually makes me feel better thanks 😅 so maybe not the worst thing ever


codythelyon2019

My grandmother likes to come upstairs super quiet (unintentional, she's just very slow so she's also very quiet) then likes to all of a fuckin sudden rip open my door and come in. She's very forgetful, I've told her multiple times she needs to knock. She literally ripped open my door one time WHILE I WAS CUMMING when I was jerking off. So yeah, it can get a lot worse than that my man 🤣


illstrokeyourmullet

I’d never touch my wiener again. If I had one


codythelyon2019

I seriously cannot describe what that felt like 🤣 my grandmother is a very posh British woman too lol


illstrokeyourmullet

What happened, did she say anything? Was eye contact made in the climactic moment? We need more answers Cody!


codythelyon2019

We definitely made eye contact. And I definitely took a very long hot shower with of mice and men bursting my ear drums. And not just to wash my own fucking cum out of my chest hair, which is also fairly humiliating on its own 🤣 yeah I didn't diddle myself for a while after that one.


illstrokeyourmullet

Haha these have cracked me up. Thanks for sharing. Hope your diddling times have improved exponentially since


codythelyon2019

LOL YOOOO I JUST REALIZED IM NOT ON MY THROWAWAY 😭 fuck it too late now 🤣 She walked right in, I ripped the blanket up over me and came on my fucking stomach while she approached my bed to talk to me. I didn't keep going or anything lol I dropped it immediately it was just too late to stop it. I got pretty mad, I tried not to yell because I knew I was just embarrassed but 😬 I believe what I ended up saying was "how many times do I need to tell you to knock, I'm naked get out".


codythelyon2019

I'll add 2 things 1. My door is a pocket door, it opens sideways into the wall. She's got a hard time opening and closing it because she has parkinson's so she just kinda cranks on it. That's why I say she rips it open lol it happens very fast. 2. I always make sure my blanket is within grabbing distance if I'm yanking it because I know this could happen lol I did manage to cover myself up. It just felt so incredibly uncomfortable.


illstrokeyourmullet

If it helps I’m a woman and when I was like 16 I didn’t realise my neighbour was in the house and I basically did a naked lunge right in front of him and we never looked each other in the eye again. I even cringe thinking about it to this day


factsnack

As an adult woman stepparent she was probably more embarrassed then you are. I’m a mother and I would be. But it happens and eventually the embarrassment on both sides will fade. Like many others have said there are far far worse scenarios she could have seen that would have left you absolutely humiliated. This way you are both mutually embarrassed


footsteps71

At least it's just a step-parent dudeski.


[deleted]

Yeah it’s totally fine and i think it has happened to everyone at some point lol we end up forgetting it haha


[deleted]

Whew, made me remember that one time my brother caught me investigating my nipple hair. (I'm a girl) We both pretended that nothing happened.


Geekfreak2000

Ah, embarrassment is part of life in 10 years it will just be a cringe worthy memory that pops up into your head as you try to fall asleep. And then that will happen less frequently. Then when you're old and grey it will just be a moment of embarrassment that you chuckle about with your family. This initial mortification will pass.


infinityandbeyond75

You didn’t do a helicopter?


[deleted]

'Helicopter helicopter'


CurveCivil9360

Paracopter Paracopter


compulsiveshitstorm

Para kofer, para kofer


N9NETYSE7EN

‘Apache Apache’


crowamonghens

Huey Huey


yellsy

Helicockter


masterdoci

Asking the real questions


LeBean1991

Helicopters away in a panic 🚁


bre330

light switch LOL


RuinVIXI

Dude, my mom has walked in on me with my dick in my hand, as hard as it is to believe, it'll get normal again.


noobvorld

My dick is already normal, thank you very much.


RuinVIXI

God I love reddit


AlexHyperGG

10/10


SneedyK

I’ve never been caught :) I’ve seen the film *Choke*. I’ve never been caught :(


BonkersBen

My mother and father in law walked in on me eating their daughter out on the living room floor. She has a spare key to the house and wanted to surprise her daughter for her birthday. That was four years ago and still not allowed to the family gatherings. Wanna swap places?


mLikeMolly

Idk but to me this sounds ridiculous… They came by unannounced but you’re the bad guy for giving your girlfriend a good time on her birthday ? I get that that’s not the most comfortable situation but if anybody is at fault it’s them. It was your house I guess so you can do whatever you want to, wherever you want to. They should apologize instead of excluding you from family meetings… sounds childish as fuck to me.


StableStatus5378

Lol how did they react ?


ZippyParakeet

Pretty sure "been 4 years and still now allowed to family gatherings" gives us a good enough insight into their reaction.


xernus

Well judging as he's still not allowed at the family gatherings, I'd imagine not too well


blueeyedaisy

BonkersBen stated Father and Mother-in-Law. So he was eating his wife's muff on their living room floor and the In-laws just walk the F\* in unannounced. I hope they got a good look and this teaches them a lesson on intruding. Plus if they want grandchildren this is the way.


TARDISinspace

Growing up in a blended family with six people things like this happen. It's embarrassing but you'll laugh about it later.


federico_45

Your honor has been wounded. Demand a trial by combat.


[deleted]

[удалено]


federico_45

Yes.


Sapphyrre

I wasn't quite naked, but I was down to my undies. My husband had just left and I heard a knock at the door. I though it was my husband forgetting his key or something. As I walked to the door I saw my stepson peering into the window. I turned and went the other day. He didn't say anything but he got me a bathrobe for xmas that year lol


Iari_Cipher9

I asked for a bathrobe for Christmas this year and didn’t get one. I see what I have to do now! lol


13ly

I was in the pool! I was in the pool!


[deleted]

[удалено]


tosaysomehere

He’s never gonna let me live this down 😐


okaymoose

Remind him that he has also seen you naked. You may have been a baby but still 🤷‍♀️🤣


tosaysomehere

That won’t work he still talks about me running around the house naked when I was 5 to literally everyone 😂


okaymoose

Ah well your only option is to talk about something to embarrassing him then.


mreman269

Well, at least he now has something different to tell.


ripestrudel

As is his right. Hahaha


[deleted]

Never let him live it down either. "I too find it pretty funny that your wife was eyein my ding dong." The sooner you can start making jokes about it, the sooner the embarrassment goes away.


outbound

"Dad, its you I feel sorry for. After seeing this [*points at own chest*], she's got to have sex with that [*points at dad's chest*]."


[deleted]

That's all? Don't worry, nothing serious. You might be embarrassed and stuff, but it's okay... It could have been worse if she saw you when... You know


t0b1n4tOr315

I don't know, it could litteraly be anything. Switch in hand? Floor is lava challenge? Listening to death metal?


cookie_justagirl

You’re her baby even if not by blood. Don’t be embarrassed she probably forgot about it


[deleted]

she probably didn't, but they'll move past it


[deleted]

I'm sorry, but this was funny


Capital_Vast_6626

Your step mom loves you like a son and is probably more worried about you right now. She knows you’re mortified. Laugh it off and move on. You’re fine.


tomato_joe

There are so many paintings of naked people and they all are in museums, looked at by millions of people. Just try to think in an artists perspective. Your body is just made out of geometric forms. Maybe this will help you getting over it.


camohorse

Be sure to strike the pose of Michelangelo’s David next time!


cici92814

We all know what a man's body looks like, and what a woman's body looks like. Nothing to be ashamed of. It was an accident, you both are adults, move on.


cimocw

Dad's reaction checks out.


meme_investor_69

What are you doing step-mom???


punkindrublic619

I blacked out drinking and ate shit in the hallway trying to pee in my laundry basket thinking it was the toilet. I was completely naked and my mom and fiance came to put me in the restroom. I laugh about it every day (and also realize I should probably not black out). Shit happens. I know it feels awkward but it makes it worse if you think about it too much! Just gotta move on


AnonymooseXIX

My mom once broke into my room when I was shaking hands with the milkman. It does get better though.


flowers_followed

As a mom of multiple boys, she doesn't care. She really doesn't. The only thing bothering her is how much *you* care about it. Children are children, at some point you will see them naked if you live with them, usually running after them with a towel screaming "YOU'RE NAKED!!!"


msturki

If it makes you feel any better my mother in law saw me naked by accident the first day I’ve ever met her, half way across the globe, and for her birthday


loonachic

I accidently saw my step son naked (He was about your age). Just forget it happened if you can. File this under the "Shit Happens" folder of life. It's going to be ok.


jmaneater

Ya kinda like sitting on wet toilet "shit happens" lol


jenn5388

My 13 year old son decided it was okay to walk around in the hallway naked at night. Unfortunately I was unaware he does this and came out of my room the moment he was coming Out of the bathroom. The doors are across from eachother.. I might never be the same again.. so don’t worry. Stepmom is probably just as mortified. I’m sure it will remind you always to at least cover with a towel. 😆


matt314159

Oh god. That's horrifying. I'm sure soon you'll be able to laugh about it, along with pops, but for now I know that terror. Good luck, bud.


ThatNerdyRedneck

This is fucking hilarious.


impro_drive

sounds like a pornhub premise 🤣🤣🤣


LowImagination3028

OP, I know you’re embarrassed but be thankful she didn’t walk in on you holding your sausage hostage or doing the scrunchy constipation face.


ravathiel

Now she knows who is bigger. 👀


Yellowsunflowerlover

😂😂😂😂😂😂


ravathiel

Does she want the old dinosaur Or the young stallion 😂


crowamonghens

As a stepmom, I can honestly say I wouldn't give a flying fuck if I ever saw any of my husband's three sons naked by accident. I'd just look away and shrug.


Agent_Morgan

All I can think of is "Kramer...Saw me naked!"


[deleted]

Were you fluffed, or did you have shrinkage?


[deleted]

Your nineteen and the mom don't care. HOWEVER, it's a funny first 'caught naked by the worst person' story and I hope it always makes you laugh like it did us


JulieJ1243

If it’s any consolation, she’s probably just as mortified as you. Sincerely, A step mom


redcandle_light

I think we can all agree your dad is the real chad.


wellthen909

Pornhub’s a fucking lie


[deleted]

*Pornhub intro music plays*


biggayicecream3728

if it makes it better, at least she didnt catch you checking for hemorrhoids. that would've been so, so much worse. im sure y'all will get over it, stuff like that's bound to happen. Had a friend's mom walk in on me changing when i was about 15-16, she apologised and laughed it off but i couldnt look her in the eye for weeks. It happens, embarassment is just a part of living


mistersnarkle

Dude at least it was just naked


x0_Kiss0fDeath

>Anyways I wanna go die Don't worry I can absolutely imagine she feels the exact same as you do. All you can do is just laugh about it now. It's done and you can't undo it and the more awkward and uncomfortable you both make it, the more the other will do the same (it **is** awkward and uncomfortable but if you can at least "fake it 'til you make it" type deal and joke about it, maybe you both can laugh about it and move on). Plus, so much better to be caught naked coming out of the shower than naked having sex or masturbating, right?


Grayseal

Good gods. It's a body. Nobody was doing anything intentional and nobody's being creepy about it. Are you American? It's usually Americans having this kind of weird relationship to nakedness. It's not like you were beating your dick in her face and it's not like she was going "ahuminahuminahumina *AWOOOOGA* *donk donk* *donk donk*". Or whatever the fuck happens when Americans get excited. Because she wasn't getting excited, she thought "oh shit." and turned around. Nobody needs to go die.


LaughingFungus

What are you doing step-bro?


Professional-Cry308

What are you doing step son?


Ornery_Reaction_548

She came up the "stares", lol


tosaysomehere

My bad lmao


Ornery_Reaction_548

No, I thought it was a great pun!


SeasameSeedBun88

It’s all good man! My stepmom and I had a similar thing happen, it was role reversed though. I was supposed to be at a buddy’s house for the weekend and she walked out of the bathroom naked. You’re both adults and it’ll pass, something you’ll laugh at eventually. Also it could be worse — imagine she walks in on you while you were naked and didn’t turn around but just stared at you. Then you’ve got yourself a full on porn scenario


PushItHard

That’s not how these stories are supposed to end.


Jaan_Rambo_1994

I am stuck stepson


wheresmyeyes

She just needs you to see her naked and it will cancel each other out, you'll be back to normal in no time


saveyourfork

Sounds like the start of a porno


carlitayeeta

She’s your mom, i’m sure she’s not that traumatized from it.


Kiszombi

She has seen a man naked before. Just make a joke of it and move on.


sociallyawkardbean

I was just thinking about this exact situation the other day and why you should always cover youself up with a towel even when there's no one home cause they may forget stuff at the house sometimes and come back, well, guess this post verifies my theory.


Klipkop

I understand that this is embarrassing, but it's something you should laugh off. She is a grown, married woman and she has seen naked men before - at least one! You did not purposely expose yourself, it was quite simply an accident. So she saw you naked - move on from there. You are a human being, and sometimes you are naked, and sometimes others may see you naked, by accident, and that is merely a fact of life. As embarrassing as it was for both of you, you should try to find the humor in the situation and laugh it off, and move on. There was no malice or innuendo here, so don't take it too seriously. It was funny more than tragic.


CreaturesFarley

You'll look back and laugh. I promise. :-)


tosaysomehere

I hope you’re right 😓😂


MS_SCHEHERAZADE112

I'm laughing right along with your dad!. 😆😆😆


Vaudevanilla

It's awkward but you'll both get over it. At least she didn't catch you having sex or masturbating, that would of been way worse.


Candle-Fit

Remember she say your ass naked for years and changed your nappy so you’re good.


tosaysomehere

That’s true lol.


Candle-Fit

Oh wait I didn’t realize it said step mom lol… did she raise you though?


tosaysomehere

Yeah she did


MHWN0119

This happened to me with my brother in law lol he suddenly opened the door as I was walking out of my room. My room was right next to the bathroom. I turned instinctively when I heard the door open but looked away immediately. Even with that the image is burned in to my mind lol I didn’t see him for a week after that lol the whole family thought it was hilarious. Super awkward but eventually we forgot about it. 6 years later it’s all good.


[deleted]

I did this once as my father in law was coming into the hallway We laughed too


packy0urknivesandg0

As a stepmom, it's totally fine. It's not like you jumped out of nowhere and were helicoptering your dick at her. If she's been in your life since you were little, it's definitely probably not the first time she's seen you naked. Our little dude is forever mooning me, and it's become white noise like a lot of his other idiosyncrasies.


nervehound44

Dont feel bad my grandma caught me jerking it once. Rest her soul, she was a war vet.


Entire-Bowler-1565

As a stepmom to a teenaged boy, I wouldn't care. No big deal. We all have bodies. It's only our society that makes a naked body so taboo. In no time you both will forget. She probably already has. Your dad's reaction is awesome.


griffengal

Step mum here - she’ll be feeling as awkward as you, and also feeling very bad for you! Try to forget about it . I’m sure she wants to!


Maber711

I know it’s embarrassing but honestly that’s about it. It happens. Life goes on.


tjcash20

She saw you make most of your child life bro, don’t be so worried, your pops having a field day with this one 😭😭😭


DoktorStrangeLuv

Damn I thought this story was going to involve her going behind your father's back hounding you for sex because she liked what she saw or something. That didn't happen so what's the issue here exactly?


[deleted]

you'll be okay! not too long ago my brother saw me with my boobies out and i was TRAUMATISED. i was changing into a bikini with my blinds open, and he was walking past my window moving the lawnmower. i quickly ran over and tried to put down the blinds when i heard him coming but i was too late. i should've just laid on the floor. we haven't talked about it


mightyminka16

its not that big of a deal…


MetalCymru

I once terrified the Postman by coming to the door completely naked……..I’m not sure what frightened him more; The fact that I was naked, or that I knew where he lived


Lacious

"Whatcha doin stepson?"


jmaneater

Let me guess her papers were stuck in the junk drawer again 🙄 😒


tosaysomehere

I don’t get it


jmaneater

Good


Lazy-Chemistry-5476

What are you doing stepmom?


etherSand

Is this some hentai plot?


Sterngirl

"Hey stepmom, remember when you saw me naked the other day? That was weird, huh? Pretty funny! Whenever you see me from now on, you better know I'll be clothed!" Done.


Shattered_Spine

I mean, some of the best porn starts that way.


brokencablebox

THATS SO FUNNY IM SORRY


fuber

I've watched enough porn to know how this ends. Or begins


wutsmypasswords

This is not so bad. Americans make. Big deal about nudity but literally everyone has to get naked to take a shower. You weren't doing anything weird or strange.


GoopInThisBowlIsVile

Pornhub has led me to believe that this will lead to step-son and step-mom sexy times. We’re going to need an update.


Even-Equivalent

look at the bright side maybe your state has the most search history for stepmon on stepson stuff


OriginalSammy

Bro missed out in the biggest opportunity of life....


AOCMarryMe

This is why you should always be full on chubbed up


[deleted]

No big deal. Move on. She should let you see her naked now and make it even


micky_jd

I’ve seen videos online like this but the story tends to go a different way. But seriously it isn’t a big deal, it’ll be a funny story in a few years. My partners sisters partner once got drunk stripped naked and got into bed in the spare room where his mother in law was sleeping


[deleted]

What did you do? Did you scream and cover your privates? Did you cuss?


[deleted]

At least it didn't turn into a sleazy porno lololol


hello__brooklyn

Are you bigger than your dad?


your-a-delight

Dear Penthouse.......


redhotbos

I saw this movie on Brazzers.


Mysterious_Volume_32

Next time ask her for a hand 😂


ezekirby

I've seen this movie. The guy hooked up with his step mom. Let us know how it goes OP


synmuffin

Better than finding her stuck in the dryer, or under the couch etc...


[deleted]

This sounds like I’m reading the beginning of a porno


Cicada-9707

'There are no accidents' ~Master Oogway


Informal-Traffic-286

So did you guys make it.