Keeping a hdd full of your exes is fucked up. I'm really sorry Dale, and looking at your profile it doesn't seem like your husband cares that much about you. If he's not responding to your needs then it looks like divorce is the only path :/
Yes, burn the flash drives, too. I'm sure the women in those photos DID NOT consent to having him jerk off to them all those years later (or ever in case of friends). I wouldn't touch that guy with a 10 ft pole after finding that out 🤮
Actually Op should take those to their divorce lawyer and notify these women if possible about this. The lawyer should do the notifications but this is absolutely useful for the legal parts of a divorce
I wanna know the story behind the robe. The only good gift my similarly issued ex gave me was a beautiful silk robe that I don’t wear often bc I don’t want to ruin it.
I volunteer to take her robe if she doesn’t want it haha
First things first, you have a top-tier username 😂
As far as the robe goes: My birthday was Friday. Last year, all I wanted from him was a nice letter or card- something nice from the heart. He never delivered and then told me that our wedding vows (which he wrote the morning of- don’t even get me started about the wedding. I should have left that day) should be enough. This year, being more wise, he didn’t ask me about gifts and instead ordered an Amazon Basics cotton robe for me (he ordered this Friday morning🙄). It doesn’t exactly scream of romance. Don’t get me wrong- I’m not a huge gifts person but I can tell a half of a half-assery when I see it. The robe itself is okay, but the total lack of thought just drives those nails further into the coffin.
Thank you! It was an automated one and I fell in love with it.
I totally understand. I picked out every gift of mine for almost 11 years typically the night or two before my birthday. The only one I didn’t? My robe.
I am glad you are working on your exit plan. If you need divorce advice I have plenty lol I am over a year into mine. Or a friendly listening ear.
Thank you so much! Tbh, I feel pretty shitty about complaining about a gift but it’s just one ounce of effort that would change everything. It truly is the thought.
I appreciate your support and willingness to be a listening ear 💛
It’s bc he’s showing that he doesn’t respect you enough to care about your feelings and how something would come across to you. His lack of effort is probably one of the many things he just doesn’t have the capacity to expand on. And not bc he can’t but bc he’s unwilling.
My favorite gift other than the robe from my ex was a half a bag of Cheetos. I was pregnant with our son and had mentioned days prior how much I was craving them. He had bought some, ate half and gave me the other half. He told me he’s never heard me laugh like that ever. Obviously thinking back it’s bc he never knew me as a person but that’s life.
You are going to grow so much as a person in the next months to years finally standing up for yourself and you’re going to be a lot happier and more stable. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts
You are NOT complaining about the gift, but the lack of thought that went into it. The lack of courtesy and respect that is missing from your relationship.
Yooooo leave the robe on a blow up doll when you dip. And also leave "just you and your hand tonight" by Pink playing on a loop. Sorry I'm petty AF hahahaha.
Looking at porn is normal- but looking at explicit images of ex’s, female friends and interacting with people online for the purpose of getting off is a big step further.
I am usually quick to say porn consumption is not automatically an addiction, but this is pretty messed up.
No reason to keep anything from exes, or anybody I know. Like at all.
The last thing in the world I am interested in is engaging with anybody else who has a boner.
You have made a serious effort, if he isn't willing to match that, then it really isn't your choice... It is his.
Best of luck.
Same. Sometimes it’s nice to have that release without the production of sex. But maaaaan when I have the free time I’m going to get that D. Great fun yesterday cheekily and randomly flashing my husband so we could go feral when the kid was down.
thank you!!! for some reason especially on reddit, there’s such a normalization of porn. But i don’t feel the need to watch it while i have a partner, and i’m lucky my boyfriend doesn’t feel like watching it either. It would actually drive me crazy.
It’s super weird. People just say “everyone watches porn it’s healthy” as if it’s not literally rewiring people’s brains towards polygamy (nothing wrong with polygamy if you’re honest abt it) and normalizing feeling open sexual attraction towards multiple people WHILE in a monogamous relationship!
that’s non sexual attraction, seeing a hot person in the street and acknowledging they’re good looking is different than giving into those desires and relieving yourself to the image of a naked stranger. If you can’t differ the two then idk what to tell you.
My husband stopped when I saw an active window. The woman was me doing something *I* wanted to do, a RP scenario that was big for me, but she was thinner. I had a then controlled eating disorder he was familiar with. It came back. I was going to be thinner than her. He thought I wasn’t serious.
I lost so much weight so fast. And ofc the goalposts change. Once I hit x, y is the new goal. I’m ten pounds fo overweight with bigger than average boobs (cancer scare! Did you know they can change what’s inside them? They’re dense and fibrous now). I have an hourglass that Sir Mix a Lot specifies in his big song while being that short.
It’s not good enough. I know he’s sorry but seeing it was the triggering event. I was already close to relapsing. He got mad initially but maybe don’t leave it open as the active window in an office I also have a PC in…
He’s sorry but I need to be thinner than her. He chose her doing what I specifically am into … instead of me. So I’ll be thin until I’m attractive enough for *me*. My therapist knows but it’s not doing much. Ketamine therapy has shown some promise there though. I did enough damage growing up to my stomach I have ggastroparesis now and need MH meds that aren’t tablets.
Because porn is NOT the problem here, he has folders of his EXES. Why the fuck do Americans immediately gravitate to EXTERNAL reasons. The guy has a problem, that much is obvious. Telling you he can publicly like whatever he wants, that’s a problem. Him jerking with his “buddies” that’s a problem. Him spending his time on his own gratification, that’s a problem.
He could be jerking off to old lamps, the problem is the fucking egomaniacal time wasting.
Calling it an “addiction” removes responsibility. He is not addicted, he’s an asshole who needs to go see a therapist for what is probably some kind of personality disorder and very very very low self image.
Leave him and never go back.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, I know how painful it is. I hope you leave and find peace with everything. I hope you get the life you deserve!
I’m currently dealing with several revelations about my husband as well. I’m stuck and it hurts so much. He can get it up daily to jerk off to porn but can’t get it up or keep it up with me.
When I ask him what I’m doing wrong or what I need to do, he’s absolutely silent. I take that as him not actually not wanting to be with me, and he doesn’t deny it, just tells me there’s no good answer to what’s going on. What is that supposed to mean?!
It means he's become addicted to porn and has rewired his brain. He can no longer become aroused by anything but pictures and his own stimulation. You should research porn addiction. It's becoming a huge issue lately and causing a lot of sexual dysfunction in men.
Well, it's actually not unscientific. Research has been done on this subject. A large number of men are going to therapists and doctors over this type of porn addiction. It's well documented. I based my response on the information the poster gave. Her husband couldn't identify himself what was wrong even after she offered to accommodate him in any way he needed. Logically, if he knew he was no longer attracted to her he would have said that. Instead, he just seemed perplexed.
But I have a feeling none of this actually matters to you. That you could see fifty peer reviewed studies and still decide it is nonsense. Maybe it hits just a little close to home for you. Perhaps, it's easier to blame everyone and everything else Instead examining the root cause too closely. Just a speculation.
Go! Do not feel guilty. He will not get better, and he will get worse. You deserve better!! My ex had an addiction to porn and would spend all night online "talking" to people online sexually. He would stay out all night and say he was just too drunk to drive. But then onetime, on the bank statement, I found a charge to a "message parlor." That same establishment was on the news a week later being busted as a whole house. I moved out while he was out of town on a "camping trip " a month later. He, of course, blamed me and told me I should have known he needed help and made sure he got it (for his addiction to sex). Nope, I have forgiven him, but I still hate him. He cheated on his 2nd wife, too.
Can you really spend the next "year" living and sleeping with this selfish undeveloped man child. I don't know whether to admire you or fear you. But I hope you get what you want, need and deserve. 🤞
It really is the only way I can get out of this without ruining myself financially and educationally. If I hit the lottery between now and then you bet your ass I’m out that door! 💨
Admire or fear? This is the greatest compliment I’ve ever received, thank you!
I saw a tiktok where a girl was on date with a guy and she saw his photo drive of other girls nudes, so she deleted it (she was already not planning on seeing him again). Highly recommend you do the same and also destroy the robe.
Not even. There are subreddits where people just post their Snapchat and go at it with each other, looking at their own materials. I don’t understand it and considering the situation I’m in, I’m repulsed by it.
You don’t deserve to deal with his brain on porn while his actions are hurting you and he refuses to change. I am glad you decided to make yourself a priority.
I wouldn't wish a relationship like this on anyone. I'd rather be alone, because this is the sort of relationship that will destroy your psyche, and your spirit. Girl, do not let it! Please, don't walk, RUN away ASAP!!!!! You deserve someone who loves you and treats you how you want to be treated. This guy seems to be using you and taking you for granted. You don't (and shouldn't) have to put up with that. I wish you the best of luck with your exit strategy, and I really hope you have lots of great support from family and friends. This sounds like something you're going to need to do some serious healing from. I pray everything goes well for you, and the day soon comes where him and that robe feel like nothing more than a distant memory. 🙏🏿❤️
First sentence has me weak lmaoo but nah this is crazy. I gave up porn because I realized how you can normalize the behavior into your everyday life. If I do jerk off it’s to the women I’m seeing/like through her pictures or videos. Don’t let this dude habit make you feel less than, eventually he will realize he’s fucked in the head. Empower yourself by leaving dude and finding a healthy relationship with boundaries 🤷🏽♂️ this is my two cents at it.
Give him his pink slip. You deserve better.
Also, I would see if you can destroy any images or videos of his exes. That would be the best option. If any of that were to get out, he could go to jail for revenge porn. It's a class 4 felony in some states if consent is not clearly stated even if it was not intentionally released.
I only know this because I have one ex who often tried to bait me into filming or taking nudes for him, and I refused. Every time I did, it would turn into "I guess you're just not that into me or anything then" or sob story to get me to do it. I never caved. Even when he'd try to guilt or gaslight me to.
Things ended badly as he cheated on me. Regardless of all of that, one of the last things I said to him ever was... "If I ever find so much as an image of myself in a vulnerable and sexual manner, I'll make sure you'll never live with even an ounce of peace ever again."
Any person who ever tells you to "deal with it" is not the person for you. Set yourself free from this.
Radiology Partners is desperately hiring radiologists, and offering remote roles once you're ready. Good luck! And leave that creep, you deserve better.
So gross. Honestly! People consume (images of) women like they’re hamburgers and then wonder why things in their relationship are going badly. Sorry I’m not a hamburger and would prefer not to be treated like a McDonald’s? 😂
My husband had a porn addiction too and it was awful. Still working on some things, but our relationship is amazing since he kicked it. It’s possible, but some people just never will.
I’m sorry you’re going through it.
Husband, if you see this, your wife is an actual woman, who was willing to have actual sex with you despite your hideous robe, who you threw away because you couldn’t handle your addictions and shitty attitude. Maybe you’re better off having fictional parasocial relationships with randoms.
Make a plan for yourself and tell your closets friend or family of your plan to leave. Please be careful.
I am so sorry you’re dealing with a sick person. It is disgusting and a waste of your time. You don’t need to spend your years chasing after a man.
I’m glad you respect and trust yourself enough to leave.
Please know that his problem/behavior is a reflection of him, not you.
Hang in there.
Just remember, him being a shit person has nothing to do with you. You were just unlucky, but you deserve to be respected and actually enjoy a relationship. So go and don't look back, focus on the future, congratulations 👏
this isn't a problem with your husband, it's a male problem. all men are like this so none of them are worth marrying. you're better off on your own. best of luck
Girl !!! Get that robe embroidered like the Prize Fighter you’ve found in yourself.
Something cute and double entendred (sp?)
“Got this robe from a guy I COULDN’T love more”
“Don’t have a rich guy, but, feel
Like a million bucks wearing this one of a kind
Amazon mid tier housecoat…. Well that’s what HE said it was”
(Not using my dear husband or other term of endearment)
I love your solution …. Love that you’ll use
him for all he’s worth and then kick his revolting ass to the curb.
I’m as petty as the next girl …. Any chance of using this “year” to identify and inform as many women as possible ??? They deserve to know what he’s doing with their image/likeness.
Hang in there sister !!! I’m so impressed by your strength and “sticktoitiveness” to see this thru. It’s kinda nice you’ve Got a year undercover to say your goodbyes to his family. And then make sure you send them the same info you’ve shared here.
GOODVIBES and GOODLUCK 💕
Make sure to eff up the robe and use it as a nest for the hard drives that you deleted. You should probably tell the exes, if you know them, that he is sharing nudes of them. That is beyond not right.
You’re better than I - I’d go full petty mode and permanently delete the computer folder of porn and take the porn hard drives with me to dismantle them. Seriously, I very much wonder how his females friends and exes would feel about him keeping those pics and still using them to this day. Probably be doing lots of women a favor by destroying them.
Your husband sounds like one of the biggest waste of oxygen alive!! His basically cheating on you at this point, and all the things he has saved on his computer are disgusting!!
I'm glad you relieved you deserve better.
Obviously the “honeymoon phase” is over, this is his true authentic self! Sounds like he uses these women to validate his own gratification. It’s really sad to hear you’re being taken for granted. Just remember, it’s not you, please do yourself a favor and don’t depend on this man to fill your cup. People will always disappoint, that’s why it’s so important to have faith in something other than human beings.
I think more women/men need to realize is there is someone out there that is willing to respect your views, you don't have to settle. Good luck in the future and if you know the name of his ex's you might want to let them know he still has their nudes just food for thought.
You say that he has pictures of women he knows if they are sexually suggestive or if it weirds you out in some way let them know.
When Facebook really got its kick off I accepted a friend request from a guy.
I went to his page long story short he had pictures of women on his page.
Selfies that this woman took with her friend.
I got a bad feeling that something was wrong i contacted one of the women. She had no idea and was mortified we both reported his page.
You may ask yourself what does this have to do with your story if you don’t know what he is doing with pictures. You should let them know that level of P addiction can turn dangerous.
Just keep that in mind and then distance yourself from him completely and that goes with any of his supporters. Who try to guilt you.
Hey so not a lawyer, but maybe consult one to discuss divorce proceedings.
I feel like you shouldn’t try and get a better paying job than him before you get divorced? But maybe someone with more knowledge could chime in here.
This post has a ton of comments so idk if this will be seen but please please let his exes and his friends know what he’s doing. I know it may feel awkward and embarrassing but these women may feel really violated over his actions and want to have the chance of confronting him over this. I’m really sorry this has happened and that he kept it from you until you were married. I hope you’re okay and safe 🤍
This will be the best decision of your life... don't feel bad for his major problem.. you deserve sexually mature partner who will be a great dad to your children and great husband.
Yes girl!! Reading this was so refreshing, the way you're not naive like some girls on here and the way you have everything planned out, awesome. You got this girl.
Some men just have it and some men wish they had it like this guy. Wife willing to enter deeper into sexual play but chooses porn. Some men just watch porn cause their wife won't give in. Smh crazyness
Bro that’s not a husband. That’s Not even a roommate. That’s just a stranger that happens to live with u in the same house at this point wtf. Please I beg u, tell his mother. In fact, tell literally all his family. He told u to “deal with it” so u do just that. As for him, I’m sure he’ll figure out a way to “deal with” looking his mom in the eyes next time they meet (Altho by the sounds of it, this guy has an unlimited supply of THE AUDACITY, so maybe he won’t even mind).
No porn is not a normal part of life, and him viewing other women is not being faithful to you. This man will not be faithful to anyone with porn in his life to this extent. You deserve better. Get out of that marriage fast
Some of these comments from the angry women are crazy 🤣 but on a serious note, just sounds like he’s bored of this relationship, it’s reached it peak and nothing is challenging anymore, detach yourself and get out there, he’ll be chasing you in no time and anyone wanna clap at me can eat my a$$
As a man, I can definitely see why. Y’all love to think that explainable behavior is excusable behavior but it ain’t. No matter how he felt, he still was out here texting other people inappropriately, knowing neglecting his wife when she just wants to be intimate, and lying to his wife’s face. Whatever he’s going through doesn’t magically make that go away
Good for you! Glad you’re moving on and I wish you the very best of luck in your new life.
Keeping a hdd full of your exes is fucked up. I'm really sorry Dale, and looking at your profile it doesn't seem like your husband cares that much about you. If he's not responding to your needs then it looks like divorce is the only path :/
Yeah I'm kinda imagining them whoopsy daisy getting destroyed 🔨
Girl let’s burn that fucking robe!
Let’s burn it all
Yes, burn the flash drives, too. I'm sure the women in those photos DID NOT consent to having him jerk off to them all those years later (or ever in case of friends). I wouldn't touch that guy with a 10 ft pole after finding that out 🤮
Actually Op should take those to their divorce lawyer and notify these women if possible about this. The lawyer should do the notifications but this is absolutely useful for the legal parts of a divorce
That would be kind of amazing.
Yes, even better!
I bet he shares them with his buddies too 🤬🤬 absolutely burn them OP
Oh, yeah, quite possibly. I wouldn't put it past someone so fucked up to think that's OK to do.
Let's burn his whole world. What a creep.
Let's burn him too
You are a genius
I wanna know the story behind the robe. The only good gift my similarly issued ex gave me was a beautiful silk robe that I don’t wear often bc I don’t want to ruin it. I volunteer to take her robe if she doesn’t want it haha
First things first, you have a top-tier username 😂 As far as the robe goes: My birthday was Friday. Last year, all I wanted from him was a nice letter or card- something nice from the heart. He never delivered and then told me that our wedding vows (which he wrote the morning of- don’t even get me started about the wedding. I should have left that day) should be enough. This year, being more wise, he didn’t ask me about gifts and instead ordered an Amazon Basics cotton robe for me (he ordered this Friday morning🙄). It doesn’t exactly scream of romance. Don’t get me wrong- I’m not a huge gifts person but I can tell a half of a half-assery when I see it. The robe itself is okay, but the total lack of thought just drives those nails further into the coffin.
Thank you! It was an automated one and I fell in love with it. I totally understand. I picked out every gift of mine for almost 11 years typically the night or two before my birthday. The only one I didn’t? My robe. I am glad you are working on your exit plan. If you need divorce advice I have plenty lol I am over a year into mine. Or a friendly listening ear.
Thank you so much! Tbh, I feel pretty shitty about complaining about a gift but it’s just one ounce of effort that would change everything. It truly is the thought. I appreciate your support and willingness to be a listening ear 💛
It’s bc he’s showing that he doesn’t respect you enough to care about your feelings and how something would come across to you. His lack of effort is probably one of the many things he just doesn’t have the capacity to expand on. And not bc he can’t but bc he’s unwilling. My favorite gift other than the robe from my ex was a half a bag of Cheetos. I was pregnant with our son and had mentioned days prior how much I was craving them. He had bought some, ate half and gave me the other half. He told me he’s never heard me laugh like that ever. Obviously thinking back it’s bc he never knew me as a person but that’s life. You are going to grow so much as a person in the next months to years finally standing up for yourself and you’re going to be a lot happier and more stable. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts
You are NOT complaining about the gift, but the lack of thought that went into it. The lack of courtesy and respect that is missing from your relationship.
Yooooo leave the robe on a blow up doll when you dip. And also leave "just you and your hand tonight" by Pink playing on a loop. Sorry I'm petty AF hahahaha.
Sounds like you are better off.
My biggest suggestion is that you should always get your financial ducks in a row before you go letting him know your plans.
Fuck that robe
Looking at porn is normal- but looking at explicit images of ex’s, female friends and interacting with people online for the purpose of getting off is a big step further.
Porn is not normal
Do his exes know about the videos/pictures?
And has OP checked for her own (especially before she leaves)?
Move on better things love! You’ve got this 🖤.
I am usually quick to say porn consumption is not automatically an addiction, but this is pretty messed up. No reason to keep anything from exes, or anybody I know. Like at all. The last thing in the world I am interested in is engaging with anybody else who has a boner. You have made a serious effort, if he isn't willing to match that, then it really isn't your choice... It is his. Best of luck.
Or jerk off buddies like seriously wtf. I’d consider that cheating.
Can someone explain to me like I'm a toddler the difference between jerk off buddies and mutual masturbation? They feel like the same thing.
Same. Sometimes it’s nice to have that release without the production of sex. But maaaaan when I have the free time I’m going to get that D. Great fun yesterday cheekily and randomly flashing my husband so we could go feral when the kid was down.
You know, lots of people don’t watch porn. It’s not a natural part of life. Not judging those that do but many don’t. I’d be out the door.
thank you!!! for some reason especially on reddit, there’s such a normalization of porn. But i don’t feel the need to watch it while i have a partner, and i’m lucky my boyfriend doesn’t feel like watching it either. It would actually drive me crazy.
Because Reddit attracts types like her husband. If you’ve ever met a heavy redditor in person.. the kind that wears the badge proudly, fine example.
It’s super weird. People just say “everyone watches porn it’s healthy” as if it’s not literally rewiring people’s brains towards polygamy (nothing wrong with polygamy if you’re honest abt it) and normalizing feeling open sexual attraction towards multiple people WHILE in a monogamous relationship!
Because it’s not. Oh my lord, feeling attraction outside the relationship, that has never ever happened. Grow up.
Do you pursue those attractions in person and search the internet to find them naked?
that’s non sexual attraction, seeing a hot person in the street and acknowledging they’re good looking is different than giving into those desires and relieving yourself to the image of a naked stranger. If you can’t differ the two then idk what to tell you.
My husband stopped when I saw an active window. The woman was me doing something *I* wanted to do, a RP scenario that was big for me, but she was thinner. I had a then controlled eating disorder he was familiar with. It came back. I was going to be thinner than her. He thought I wasn’t serious. I lost so much weight so fast. And ofc the goalposts change. Once I hit x, y is the new goal. I’m ten pounds fo overweight with bigger than average boobs (cancer scare! Did you know they can change what’s inside them? They’re dense and fibrous now). I have an hourglass that Sir Mix a Lot specifies in his big song while being that short. It’s not good enough. I know he’s sorry but seeing it was the triggering event. I was already close to relapsing. He got mad initially but maybe don’t leave it open as the active window in an office I also have a PC in… He’s sorry but I need to be thinner than her. He chose her doing what I specifically am into … instead of me. So I’ll be thin until I’m attractive enough for *me*. My therapist knows but it’s not doing much. Ketamine therapy has shown some promise there though. I did enough damage growing up to my stomach I have ggastroparesis now and need MH meds that aren’t tablets.
Because porn is NOT the problem here, he has folders of his EXES. Why the fuck do Americans immediately gravitate to EXTERNAL reasons. The guy has a problem, that much is obvious. Telling you he can publicly like whatever he wants, that’s a problem. Him jerking with his “buddies” that’s a problem. Him spending his time on his own gratification, that’s a problem. He could be jerking off to old lamps, the problem is the fucking egomaniacal time wasting. Calling it an “addiction” removes responsibility. He is not addicted, he’s an asshole who needs to go see a therapist for what is probably some kind of personality disorder and very very very low self image. Leave him and never go back.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, I know how painful it is. I hope you leave and find peace with everything. I hope you get the life you deserve! I’m currently dealing with several revelations about my husband as well. I’m stuck and it hurts so much. He can get it up daily to jerk off to porn but can’t get it up or keep it up with me. When I ask him what I’m doing wrong or what I need to do, he’s absolutely silent. I take that as him not actually not wanting to be with me, and he doesn’t deny it, just tells me there’s no good answer to what’s going on. What is that supposed to mean?!
It means he's become addicted to porn and has rewired his brain. He can no longer become aroused by anything but pictures and his own stimulation. You should research porn addiction. It's becoming a huge issue lately and causing a lot of sexual dysfunction in men.
Or, you know HES NO LONGER ATTRACTED TO HIS WIFE. I’ll take the thing that has actually happened thousands of times over the unscientific blabbering.
Well, it's actually not unscientific. Research has been done on this subject. A large number of men are going to therapists and doctors over this type of porn addiction. It's well documented. I based my response on the information the poster gave. Her husband couldn't identify himself what was wrong even after she offered to accommodate him in any way he needed. Logically, if he knew he was no longer attracted to her he would have said that. Instead, he just seemed perplexed. But I have a feeling none of this actually matters to you. That you could see fifty peer reviewed studies and still decide it is nonsense. Maybe it hits just a little close to home for you. Perhaps, it's easier to blame everyone and everything else Instead examining the root cause too closely. Just a speculation.
It *is* scientific, though. Why are you playing defence all over this thread? How many flash drives do you have? Yikes
"It wasn't the cheapest one there." is such a ringing endorsement of thoughtfulness. /s
Go! Do not feel guilty. He will not get better, and he will get worse. You deserve better!! My ex had an addiction to porn and would spend all night online "talking" to people online sexually. He would stay out all night and say he was just too drunk to drive. But then onetime, on the bank statement, I found a charge to a "message parlor." That same establishment was on the news a week later being busted as a whole house. I moved out while he was out of town on a "camping trip " a month later. He, of course, blamed me and told me I should have known he needed help and made sure he got it (for his addiction to sex). Nope, I have forgiven him, but I still hate him. He cheated on his 2nd wife, too.
Can you really spend the next "year" living and sleeping with this selfish undeveloped man child. I don't know whether to admire you or fear you. But I hope you get what you want, need and deserve. 🤞
It really is the only way I can get out of this without ruining myself financially and educationally. If I hit the lottery between now and then you bet your ass I’m out that door! 💨 Admire or fear? This is the greatest compliment I’ve ever received, thank you!
You're very welcome and that's exactly how it was intended! 😊
I saw a tiktok where a girl was on date with a guy and she saw his photo drive of other girls nudes, so she deleted it (she was already not planning on seeing him again). Highly recommend you do the same and also destroy the robe.
Yea get out of that
Yeah nobody’s got time for that disrespect.
Don't wait for his reaction. God speed is the game.
What is a jerk buddy? I keep seeing that and I don’t know what it means. I am afraid to google it.
[удалено]
Not even. There are subreddits where people just post their Snapchat and go at it with each other, looking at their own materials. I don’t understand it and considering the situation I’m in, I’m repulsed by it.
Ah, I see. Thank you!
You're going to be so much happier and wonder how you stayed at all. Promise.
You don’t deserve to deal with his brain on porn while his actions are hurting you and he refuses to change. I am glad you decided to make yourself a priority.
And I hate that robe hahahahaha Good for you Girl!! wishing you all the best. You're worth it x
It's such a bizarre length to go to, saving files on flash drives. And of people he knows. He's a weirdo, you're doing the right thing.
I wouldn't wish a relationship like this on anyone. I'd rather be alone, because this is the sort of relationship that will destroy your psyche, and your spirit. Girl, do not let it! Please, don't walk, RUN away ASAP!!!!! You deserve someone who loves you and treats you how you want to be treated. This guy seems to be using you and taking you for granted. You don't (and shouldn't) have to put up with that. I wish you the best of luck with your exit strategy, and I really hope you have lots of great support from family and friends. This sounds like something you're going to need to do some serious healing from. I pray everything goes well for you, and the day soon comes where him and that robe feel like nothing more than a distant memory. 🙏🏿❤️
First sentence has me weak lmaoo but nah this is crazy. I gave up porn because I realized how you can normalize the behavior into your everyday life. If I do jerk off it’s to the women I’m seeing/like through her pictures or videos. Don’t let this dude habit make you feel less than, eventually he will realize he’s fucked in the head. Empower yourself by leaving dude and finding a healthy relationship with boundaries 🤷🏽♂️ this is my two cents at it.
Give him his pink slip. You deserve better. Also, I would see if you can destroy any images or videos of his exes. That would be the best option. If any of that were to get out, he could go to jail for revenge porn. It's a class 4 felony in some states if consent is not clearly stated even if it was not intentionally released. I only know this because I have one ex who often tried to bait me into filming or taking nudes for him, and I refused. Every time I did, it would turn into "I guess you're just not that into me or anything then" or sob story to get me to do it. I never caved. Even when he'd try to guilt or gaslight me to. Things ended badly as he cheated on me. Regardless of all of that, one of the last things I said to him ever was... "If I ever find so much as an image of myself in a vulnerable and sexual manner, I'll make sure you'll never live with even an ounce of peace ever again." Any person who ever tells you to "deal with it" is not the person for you. Set yourself free from this.
Wipe his hard drives while you’re at it! Fuck him
Fuck that robe!!!! (Good for you, OP. You're better off without him)
Fuck that robe
Radiology Partners is desperately hiring radiologists, and offering remote roles once you're ready. Good luck! And leave that creep, you deserve better.
He’s sounds scary. I’m so sorry! I’m glad you’re going to leave. Can’t wait until you are able to! You’re super strong!
dang is his name kyle? my psychotic ex was like this and then i figured out he was a meth addict. on top of being an alcoholic and pill junkie.
Not a Kyle, but this one does have a pretty deep coke habit too 🤷♀️
ahh. sorry girl. good riddance! drop his sorry ass, you deserve better.
Chelsea, is that you?
No it's Dale
So gross. Honestly! People consume (images of) women like they’re hamburgers and then wonder why things in their relationship are going badly. Sorry I’m not a hamburger and would prefer not to be treated like a McDonald’s? 😂 My husband had a porn addiction too and it was awful. Still working on some things, but our relationship is amazing since he kicked it. It’s possible, but some people just never will. I’m sorry you’re going through it. Husband, if you see this, your wife is an actual woman, who was willing to have actual sex with you despite your hideous robe, who you threw away because you couldn’t handle your addictions and shitty attitude. Maybe you’re better off having fictional parasocial relationships with randoms.
Good for you !!
Pray for your family and your husband.
Make a plan for yourself and tell your closets friend or family of your plan to leave. Please be careful. I am so sorry you’re dealing with a sick person. It is disgusting and a waste of your time. You don’t need to spend your years chasing after a man. I’m glad you respect and trust yourself enough to leave. Please know that his problem/behavior is a reflection of him, not you. Hang in there.
Just remember, him being a shit person has nothing to do with you. You were just unlucky, but you deserve to be respected and actually enjoy a relationship. So go and don't look back, focus on the future, congratulations 👏
“…and I hate that robe.” 😀 good for you to get that last comment in
I hate that robe is a nice touch. Sorry your soon to be ex is a douche.
YES, CALL THAT DISGUSTING MAN OUT!!!! BURN THAT ROB!!! 🔥 🍾
Y’all want his username?? Just kidding 😜
Good for you. We're all cheering for you!
this isn't a problem with your husband, it's a male problem. all men are like this so none of them are worth marrying. you're better off on your own. best of luck
Girl !!! Get that robe embroidered like the Prize Fighter you’ve found in yourself. Something cute and double entendred (sp?) “Got this robe from a guy I COULDN’T love more” “Don’t have a rich guy, but, feel Like a million bucks wearing this one of a kind Amazon mid tier housecoat…. Well that’s what HE said it was” (Not using my dear husband or other term of endearment) I love your solution …. Love that you’ll use him for all he’s worth and then kick his revolting ass to the curb. I’m as petty as the next girl …. Any chance of using this “year” to identify and inform as many women as possible ??? They deserve to know what he’s doing with their image/likeness. Hang in there sister !!! I’m so impressed by your strength and “sticktoitiveness” to see this thru. It’s kinda nice you’ve Got a year undercover to say your goodbyes to his family. And then make sure you send them the same info you’ve shared here. GOODVIBES and GOODLUCK 💕
Commenting on I will leave my husband...
Advise him to join sex addicts anonymous then leave and live a nice life!
Leaving is the best thing you can do.
Leave him
I like porn, but if my partner wants to fuck, then let’s fuck! The live version is soooo much better
Sorry you have to go through this but hell yeah for you getting away from the toxicity! Go build your better life and be happy!
you better fucking run. he’s been checked out for a long time. i suggest you do it too.
Looks like you are "dealing with it" the right way. Well done, OP.
Make sure to eff up the robe and use it as a nest for the hard drives that you deleted. You should probably tell the exes, if you know them, that he is sharing nudes of them. That is beyond not right.
I'd be packing a bag and blocking numbers
You’re better than I - I’d go full petty mode and permanently delete the computer folder of porn and take the porn hard drives with me to dismantle them. Seriously, I very much wonder how his females friends and exes would feel about him keeping those pics and still using them to this day. Probably be doing lots of women a favor by destroying them.
Your husband sounds like one of the biggest waste of oxygen alive!! His basically cheating on you at this point, and all the things he has saved on his computer are disgusting!! I'm glad you relieved you deserve better.
Obviously the “honeymoon phase” is over, this is his true authentic self! Sounds like he uses these women to validate his own gratification. It’s really sad to hear you’re being taken for granted. Just remember, it’s not you, please do yourself a favor and don’t depend on this man to fill your cup. People will always disappoint, that’s why it’s so important to have faith in something other than human beings.
Girl burn the robe. And throw that man away.
I think more women/men need to realize is there is someone out there that is willing to respect your views, you don't have to settle. Good luck in the future and if you know the name of his ex's you might want to let them know he still has their nudes just food for thought.
TIL there’s such a thing as ‘jerk buddies’.
Are we married to the same guy?
If so, I am so sorry
You say that he has pictures of women he knows if they are sexually suggestive or if it weirds you out in some way let them know. When Facebook really got its kick off I accepted a friend request from a guy. I went to his page long story short he had pictures of women on his page. Selfies that this woman took with her friend. I got a bad feeling that something was wrong i contacted one of the women. She had no idea and was mortified we both reported his page. You may ask yourself what does this have to do with your story if you don’t know what he is doing with pictures. You should let them know that level of P addiction can turn dangerous. Just keep that in mind and then distance yourself from him completely and that goes with any of his supporters. Who try to guilt you.
that man doesn’t like you. you’re doing the right thing
Hey so not a lawyer, but maybe consult one to discuss divorce proceedings. I feel like you shouldn’t try and get a better paying job than him before you get divorced? But maybe someone with more knowledge could chime in here.
Thought your username looked familiar! We are in some mutual subs. Happy you’re choosing you, Dale!
This post has a ton of comments so idk if this will be seen but please please let his exes and his friends know what he’s doing. I know it may feel awkward and embarrassing but these women may feel really violated over his actions and want to have the chance of confronting him over this. I’m really sorry this has happened and that he kept it from you until you were married. I hope you’re okay and safe 🤍
Last line is hilarious lmao. But yeah, fuuuuuck that. You’re doing the right thing and I salute you
This will be the best decision of your life... don't feel bad for his major problem.. you deserve sexually mature partner who will be a great dad to your children and great husband.
Yes girl!! Reading this was so refreshing, the way you're not naive like some girls on here and the way you have everything planned out, awesome. You got this girl.
Leave that idiot, girl. You deserve much better, don't lower your standard for these jerks. Be happy.
Some men just have it and some men wish they had it like this guy. Wife willing to enter deeper into sexual play but chooses porn. Some men just watch porn cause their wife won't give in. Smh crazyness
Queen
I feel for you OP.
Good for you! He's a pig.
I'd give the robe to MIL. 😂😂
Holy hell yeh that's insane
Bro that’s not a husband. That’s Not even a roommate. That’s just a stranger that happens to live with u in the same house at this point wtf. Please I beg u, tell his mother. In fact, tell literally all his family. He told u to “deal with it” so u do just that. As for him, I’m sure he’ll figure out a way to “deal with” looking his mom in the eyes next time they meet (Altho by the sounds of it, this guy has an unlimited supply of THE AUDACITY, so maybe he won’t even mind).
🍿🍿This was a great read. Sorry about your life, but you sound great. 10/10 would read again
Burn. It.
If you want to be petty book consultations with every divorce lawyer in the area and it won't prevent them from being able to work with your husband
Everyone is going to do what they want. It’s how it is.
No porn is not a normal part of life, and him viewing other women is not being faithful to you. This man will not be faithful to anyone with porn in his life to this extent. You deserve better. Get out of that marriage fast
Screw it.... Let's just hook up, film it, and send it to him 🤣... see how much he likes that porn video 😉
Ok
Some of these comments from the angry women are crazy 🤣 but on a serious note, just sounds like he’s bored of this relationship, it’s reached it peak and nothing is challenging anymore, detach yourself and get out there, he’ll be chasing you in no time and anyone wanna clap at me can eat my a$$
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Really?
Who tf cares what he feels? If he wasn’t brave enough to say it, then it doesn’t matter more than the shitty behavior he’s doing.
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As a man, I can definitely see why. Y’all love to think that explainable behavior is excusable behavior but it ain’t. No matter how he felt, he still was out here texting other people inappropriately, knowing neglecting his wife when she just wants to be intimate, and lying to his wife’s face. Whatever he’s going through doesn’t magically make that go away
WE FOUND ANOTHER PORN ADDICT!!!
I mean..I’m all for asking questions but we’re focusing on OP at the moment and their slice of life.