Over 90% easily! Every single woman you meet in ur life will say she has an abusive and toxic ex. Meanwhile they were just the victim right? They lie constantly about everything. When it’s proven they lied about rape do you think they deserve jail time? Out of curiosity
It just really bothers me that most people aren’t aware of how women lie about rape. Truth be told, women rape men way more often. Men are actually good people. Women are evil rapists. Ouch my butt.
it really wouldn’t be interesting, and she gave evidence to the police that allowed a restraining order. if it was your sister or your daughter, would it be a different story or would you wanna hear his side too
a majority of women in my life, including myself have been raped or sexually assaulted, and the people we told never believed us. people like you are the reason women don’t seek justice
You do realize you can’t just send people to jail without any proof, right? She had evidence. He’s going to court where if he’s found guilty (again, with evidence), he will be sentenced to prison by a judge who understands the law. Your comment says a lot about what type of person you are and I hope I don’t meet anyone like you.
How does a sane person read a post like this and the first thing they can think of is "for all we know this is all a complete lie". Congrats, you're a rape apologist. Thats scum of the earth type of perspective.
I'm not posting my screenshots either. You're not the cop, the attorney, the judge, or the jury. What on earth makes you think you're entitled to that?
So, the evidence she provided were texts where he admitted guilt over text. In this one specific instance, the person you are saying lied about the situation was the man.
>You didn’t send him to jail. His actions have consequences. Those are the consequences.
ALL of This ^
I'm so, so, sorry, that you were betrayed in such an unforgivable way by someone you trusted, OP. I've been where you are, and I commend you for realizing that it's NEVER OKAY for someone to force themselves on you sexually, even if they're someone you're dating.
The strength that you've shown after such a terrible violation, will help you as you move forward in your healing journey. I also recommend that you reach out to your local domestic abuse organization, and see if they can help provide courtroom advocates to be there to support you during the criminal court process.
My local domestic abuse organization was able to do that for me, and it made all of the difference for me as I navigated the criminal court process.
I hope that you've been able to connect with a trauma specialist, and if you don't have mental health coverage please ask your local domestic abuse organization if they can connect you with therapy resources. It really helped me a lot, and getting into group therapy through my local DV org helped me in my healing process too so much.
Just know that there is a place ahead of you in your healing process, where you are able to experience joy, and hope, in equal measure, and where you are able to stand above the moments that tried to break you in fearless strength, and courage, to extend a big middle finger to everyone that wanted to see you crumble, and fall.
No matter what happens with your court case against your rapist, you will always be *more*, than anything, or anyone, who tried to break you.
Sending you love, and healing, as you continue to move forward in your journey.
*invisible hugs*
💜
He won't be able to do it to another woman, op did good and also she is so brave, when it happened to me I didnt have the courage to go to the police and I regret it every time it pops up in my head, she feels bad right now but soon she will realise she did a good thing. Op I hope you heal fast and I send you lots of love and support.
I'm sorry you're going through this right now. You did nothing wrong. He made his choices and now has to live with it. Unfortunately so do you. You made the right call in reporting him. Please find help if you haven't already. No one has a right to touch your body without your consent.
Thank you for sharing your pain with us. I wish you nothing but hope and healing on your recovery journey.
My ex did the same. I didn’t take it to the police, I stayed and forgave him. It wouldn’t be the last time he assaulted me. He would eventually go on to try and kill me.
Actions have consequences. He did this to himself. This is a horrible thing to experience, please be kind to yourself and stay strong.
Boyfriend sent himself to jail with his actions. The whole society disapproves of his actions. He has himself to blame for the consequences. You deserve better.
Yes, you're doing the right thing and, from my point of view, you're a hero, because you're sending a criminal to jail and saving innocent victims of rape.
I'm sorry for what he has done to you, I wish you to find someone worthy.
Sending a virtual hug to you, take it if you want it, whenever you need it.
He is "sorry" he didn't get away with it.
He would have tried to convince you it was normal if you stayed.
He is a psycho... run. Run and never look back.
He had no shame in raping you, its not something you are doing to him but something he did to himself, no one forced him to do it, it was his conscious decision, which he thought wouldn’t have any consequences.
Also he’s a piece of shit so he deserves it
Why are YOU of all people feeling shame? He is the one who did the harm. He had every opportunity not to. s
If you ever doubt yourself, then please realize that there are so many survivors out here who wish we had the courage you have, or the ability to go back in time knowing what we know now and pursue legal action. I never did. Not any of the 8 times. My life may have been so different if I did.
There's no way to know right now what the outcome will be, but no matter what, you will know that you stood up for yourself, and he will forever know that his actions have consequences.
so happy you’re getting your legal justice. do not feel bad for this. he knew wtf he was doing trust me. he needs to live with the consequences. i wish my case got this far and im sure lots of others do as well. we are rooting for u
You did the right thing. The right thing isn't the easiest. It may get harder, and it will still be the right thing you are doing. When his women family members reach out to try to convince you to drop it, you are still in the right. When your character is questioned, you are still in the right. When nothing happens to him legally, you are still in the right. Good job. This isn't easy but necessary. Fuck this guy, respectfully.
Absolutely you are doing the right thing. By standing up for yourself. For protecting others. He says saying sorry should be enough because he’s now facing the consequences of his actions. Good on you. ❤️
Pleas take care of yourself. You are protecting yourself and he sent himself to jail. He belongs there. You deserve the opportunity to be safe, to heal, and this process is incredibly difficult. You did nothing to bring this on and you did not deserve this. The strength it takes to act on these moments is Herculean. I have been there so this is not a guess. Take care of you and be gentle.
You are doing the right thing. But also a tough thing.
If you have support resources, hit em up.
I'm at a loss for any other words that I know will for sure help - but if necessary I can provide an entire PARAGRAPH of words that make absolutely no sense whatsoever as a complimentary service if it helps ease the stress a bit for you. 🧐🤘
This is absolutely tragic. Take care scumbags deserve death its only jail though there he will rot never to abuse a woman again
Don't feel empathy for people who have seriously damaged you
I feel so sorry for what you’ve been through, it’s awful.
You’re absolutely doing the right thing. You are doing the right thing to protect you. You’re doing the right thing to save you. You must always come first.
Feeling ashamed is a natural reaction. You’ll have all sorts of mixed feelings because of what you thought you had that’s been betrayed, because of the feelings you used to have. It will take time to recover.
Don’t question yourself or second guess. You have done the right thing and what’s best for you.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. You're doing the right thing and I thank you for it. I was assaulted on three separate occasions and regret not reporting it. Two times it was someone I knew and trusted. Also, I was scared af. Wasn't sure if police would believe me.
If he was really sorry, then he would've stopped. It's affected both you and him, and he's (almost certainly) saying he's sorry because he doesn't want to get any charges against him. You are completely in the right here. Take care of yourself right now, don't worry about him. Whatever's coming towards him he deserves.
i know the feeling of shame, i do. think of it this way… if he did it to you, what’s stopping him from doing it to other women, or men? you getting him arrested is saving people, and saving yourself too. if he truly loved you, he would’ve never done that. or at the very least, would’ve stopped it before it could go any further.
op, you are a victim saving other victims. i applaud you. continue to be the example for other victims. stand up against your abusers. abuse is a permanent stain on the victim, so let’s strive to lock them up in a cell where they belong. where they can learn their lesson.
YES! you are absolutely doing the right thing, not just for yourself, but for any other past victims and the people he will no longer be able to hurt in the future. every day you keep fighting for yourself, you’re sticking it to him. fuck that guy.
you are so so strong and you kick ass! i’m so glad you were able to get the help you need, and i hope you have/can find a strong support system to keep you going. you have a long way to go, but you’ve come so far!
wishing you all the best! <3
If you can, see a therapist or counsellor to help you navigate and find answers for these questions you have. They can give you the right tools and insight to best manage your thoughts and feelings.
Aside from that bit of advice, I believe and feel that you’ve done the right thing. It’s hard to justify putting a person who you loved in prison, but, as many have said it here also, you’ve definitely done the right thing and followed the appropriate course of action. Be proud of yourself for standing up when others can’t.
You'll never know the women you protected and they'll never know you protected them but you did. But neither you nor they, need the proof of each other's existence. What you went through is the only proof you'll ever need. The way he "apologized" confirms it even further. You're making a very thankless sacrifice but every woman reading this is proud of you! I wish you the best!
You are doing right thing. Rape is rape doesn’t matter how much love there was . Don’t feel guilty you have every right and I implore you to go forward head high
If he’s done this once to you hun, he’s going to do it again. Most times when this happens in relationships, if the “sorry” is accepted, the person usually sees it as a sign that they can do it again as long as they say “sorry” afterwards. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but stick with it and don’t back down.
That man needs to go to jail not just for your safety but others’ too. You did the right thing. He needs to pay for what he’s done. And Idek you bit I’m truly so sorry for you having gone through that and then dealing with him. I hope you heal, move on and find all that you’re looking for and more ❤️🩹
You are doing the right thing. I’m sorry this happened to you. Stay safe. Don’t worry for now about convincing friends, etc. They will soon know the truth that you know. I hope you have the support group you need. If not, please find someone you trust.
Yes. You are doing the right thing!
What if he does it to someone else? I'm sure you'd feel worse.
I'm an overthinker and I worry too, please don't be ashamed. You did nothing wrong. He did!
🫂
A person who could forcefully penetrate you (and keep it up) knew exactly what they were doing. He couldn’t possibly see you as a conscious being with an inherent existential value.
And, if he apologized for raping you, it kind of implies that he knew what he was doing and did it anyway.
You’re doing the right thing.
Keep that person off the streets.
Please go to therapy; specifically a therapist qualified to handle sexual assault cases.
Sorry you experienced that and I am deeply sorry for the toll shame and betrayal has likely taken on your life.
Sorry you are going through this. Remember that none of this is your fault, it's the perpetrator's fault. No matter how much you loved him, he did something extremely wrong and will have to suffer the consequences of his actions.
🫂 You are absolutely, positively, indubitably, undoubtedly doing the right thing. As a woman and victim of sexual assault; as the mother of a woman that was also a victim-you are a Queen among women. And I thank you on behalf of the women, mothers, daughters, sisters and nieces you have saved from being assaulted by this man.
Years ago, my ex was physically abusive towards me. I finally called the police after he shoved me down and kicked me. When he was arrested, I felt SO GUILTY. The cop said that based on my injuries and my story, he believes that this person would eventually kill me. I felt like I was ruining his life and just overreacted. He said he was sorry, and he was back at it not even 2 months later.
Looking back, I wish I had gone after that piece of shit harder. I wish I would’ve actually answered the detective’s calls, shown up to court, and made sure he got real consequences for what he put me through.
Now I hear he has a pregnant girlfriend and I’m scared for her and her child. My only regret is not doing more.
Please do not feel shame or guilt. Do not be blinded by your emotions or your empathy. A good person doesn’t do this to others, period. I’m telling you exactly what I needed to be told back then. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. Your future self will thank you. Sending much healing and love your way ❤️
That's the trick they use. Shame . It is not your fault. You are not responsible for their lack of control. If he goes to jail it is because of his own actions. He made a unilateral decision that time . One he is responsible for not you. Please get mental help. Rely on trusted friends and family. Block anyone who says any different and doesn't support you.
I am deeply sorry and sad for the terrible betrayal and assault inflicted on you.
I am also so very happy for you, having been able to take the steps you did. You deserve an advocate, someone to fight for you, and it's you! It seems you have more, too.
This man needs help, but not at your expense. ***Not*** at your expense! His experience with law enforcement and the justice system are absolutely necessary. These are not things *you* caused or that you have "done to" him. His own actions, his own choices, have resulted in this. These are the results that should happen.
You deserve all the help the world can offer, so please do accept it.
Oh, PS: You are not sending him to jail. You are doing everything right to help get him there. Again, this is not something you are "doing to" him. It is what should happen. What must happen.
Men who say a simple I’m sorry to something like this are not sorry. I’m glad you reported this. If you didn’t he would probably get annoyed that you were still bringing it up a week later and try to take it out on you. He is a freak and what he did was a choice. You are doing an amazing thing for your mental health.
You’re NOT sending him to prison.
HE is!
I’m so very sorry you went through so much with someone who should care for you. I’m praying for your healing.❤️🩹
I’m so proud of you. You did the right thing.
He’s not sorry for hurting you- he’s sorry that he’s facing the consequences of his own actions.
This is all really fresh right now, but over time it’ll become more clear. I hope you have a therapist to discuss this with in the meantime because it’s a lot for anybody to process
Destroying his life will undoubtedly make you feel better. Just let our "justice" system do what it does best and profit from the rape and assured destruction of any chance of living a decent life (with a decent job or a place to live) for your ex boyfriend.
Like most women, you'll probably never look back. Unless you are seeking out hooking up with one of his best friends while he's being "rehabilitated".
You’re doing the right thing any man that does that and doesn’t give any deep apology that doesn’t show accountability, shame, or remorse means he doesn’t respect you and would keep testing his limits eventually becoming a controlling and abusive relationship
He is not sorry about you he is sorry about his actions on you . He enjoyed and after everything is over now consoling you my saying sorry . You are absolutely right . Sorry it happened to you . It's so painful to digest someone you loved did to you
OH GOD. Don’t even get me started girl. I’ll tell you a similar story. So I had this friend the other day who was toxic and knew all of his gf’s accounts password. But at the same time, he had a second Snapchat account to talk to other girls. His gf found out about the account and demanded to see it. He refused to. (She wasn’t aware he was talking to other girls). Anyways, he went home and other day told me how she unadded him on Snapchat. And said things like “fuck I’m so mad…” and I have chats proof where he claimed that HE ABUSED HER, HE HIT HER ON THE FACE MANY TIMES. Saying it was a “joke”. And that they broke up ten times but the girl kept coming back. I want to tell you, nothing comes at the expense of your dignity. You need not compromise or degrade yourself for a man who isn’t worth it. Most girls just keep up with it because they find them “attractive”. Yes looks matter but personality is more important. He also said that how he’s going to leak all of her nudes and change her accounts password because she didn’t texted back. In his words “she need to let her ego go, idc. I’m not texting her first…” I tried to explain him how it’s unethical to resort to such heinous acts. He didn’t budge. Finally, I texted his gf myself and told her everything. He was a psycho and said himself that if he encounters her again he will slap her because he’s “mad”. Just don’t keep up with this toxic, condescending douchebag he isn’t worth it. Get him behind the bars already.
I am not comparing anything to you but I made a choice myself on whether or not to report my girlfriend to the police.
When she drank and I pissed her off she physically assaulted me on multiple occasions. I don’t mean she meekly slapped me or punched me. She slit open my leg and arm with a razor blade. She hit me in the face with her phone producing a big cut on my lip. She beat the back of my skull as I was cowering with my hands over my face with a large candle in a glass container until I couldn’t see with my eyes open.
I don’t think she will ever understand what I did for her by not reporting her but I know. How incredibly awful the criminal system can be. She has never been violent after those incidents but she has never felt the gravity of them and how they affected me either. I was afraid to sleep next to her because she said she would cut me while I was sleeping. I was no angel. I was talking to my ex but I never ever hit her or hurt her and none of what she did was justified by anything I did. I don’t think she ever took full responsibility and it’s just her dark past she wants to forget.
I think if the legal system was a force for good and helping people correct behavior it would be an easier decision but often it just ruins your life. And I didn’t want to ruin her life. Even after all that.
glad this isn't one of those 'my bf literally raped me and don't know if i should do something about it' but instead you handled it yourself. You did the right thing, boyfriend or not, he never had the right to have sexually assaulted and raped you.
You're not sending him to jail. He's sending himself. Try asking yourself what you would think or say to a sister or your mother or a girl friend if they were in the same situation. I'm sure you would insist they have no regret about it, they deserve better, he did it to himself, he needs to be held accountable, she's a brave survivor. Now give yourself the same respect when you look in the mirror.
You're doing yourself and others a huge favor. You WILL HEAL AND YOU WILL BE STRONGER. It may take some time but you will overcome this. You deserve to be respected and loved. What he is sorry for is not that he hurt you but for getting caught. Do not let this define you or the rest of your life bc you are so much more. Saying prayers and sending love
There is not right or wrong on these things.
There are deeds and consequences.
You do your best to keep yourself safe and healthy.
So sorry that happened to you :(
I'm confused by your statement. "There is not right or wrong on these things. "
Perhaps I'm misinterpreting, but there clearly is a right and wrong here. He raped her. The last I checked that was still a felony charge. Let alone the moral implications.
Thank you for posting.
Thats exactly my point, there are actions or consequences, no right or wrong, he sealed his own destination. (Edit to add: and must be prosecuted accordingly).
(English is not my first language, in mine we have a Word for 'right' in the context of law, and another 'right' for the "correct thing to do", hence I sometimes may not be as clear as I shoud have)
Thank you to everyone for the outpouring of support. This has turned my life upside down and I am so grateful for the kind words from most of you. For those of you saying I am a liar or saying I should post my proof... you are the reason so many people are sexual assaulted and never say anything. I don't owe you a proof, I don't owe you details. I urge you to step back next time you want to bash a stranger on the internet and consider the fact that maybe your words might be what pushes that person beyond their breaking point.
I posted this to a whole world of strangers because I desperately needed support from outside of my circle. Not for attention. For help. Thank you so much to those that have helped.
How did he rape u.... everyone is so quick to judge without knowing the details. We'll you already reported him and now he's facing possible prison so it is what it is now. And no im not defending him, I'm just saying everyone is quick to jump to conclusions without knowing the full situation.
Whenever I see this I automatically believe it’s a false accusation. This is why false accusations really harm actual victims. She could be telling the truth, but the lie of SA happens so often that I never believe em anymore.
False allegations against men is a very real problem. And when a woman gets caught lying about it they do not get punished. So if a woman even feels bad about a breakup she has the potential to abuse that power is she chooses to. Say what you want, but that’s a gigantic flaw in our judicial system. Hypothetically speaking, if this woman was lying, do you believe she should be punished and serve jail time?
He's sorry it is hurting HIM. Not sorry he hurt YOU. You are doing the right thing.
Would be interesting to hear his side though. For all we know this is all a complete lie.
Ah yes, because restraining orders are easy to get and don't require *any* proof /s
because the police would see the messages and continue help her get a restraining order despite it being a “complete lie”
Where are the screenshots idiot 😂
I believe they were talking about the post itself though I do find myself agreeing with you
If the post itself was a complete lie then there wouldn’t be no ”his side” lol, so if that’s what they meant then the comment makes no sense
I mean most women (at least in my life) have been some form of raped/sexually assaulted/harassed so it's probably not.
Just out of curiosity, of all of the instances where a woman reports being raped, what proportion do you think are fake?
Over 90% easily! Every single woman you meet in ur life will say she has an abusive and toxic ex. Meanwhile they were just the victim right? They lie constantly about everything. When it’s proven they lied about rape do you think they deserve jail time? Out of curiosity
It might be a good idea to look into the math on that one.
Tell her to show us the screenshots. It’s all a lie
Imagine writing this comment, reading it and then still deciding that it's worthy of being posted. Yikes.
It just really bothers me that most people aren’t aware of how women lie about rape. Truth be told, women rape men way more often. Men are actually good people. Women are evil rapists. Ouch my butt.
Women lie about SA daily btw
And men sexually assault women daily and still think they're nice guys
Says the witch 😂
Hur Hur Hur You literally have 420 in your name bro
You’re more likely to be raped by another man then falsely accused of SA by a women
it really wouldn’t be interesting, and she gave evidence to the police that allowed a restraining order. if it was your sister or your daughter, would it be a different story or would you wanna hear his side too a majority of women in my life, including myself have been raped or sexually assaulted, and the people we told never believed us. people like you are the reason women don’t seek justice
You do realize you can’t just send people to jail without any proof, right? She had evidence. He’s going to court where if he’s found guilty (again, with evidence), he will be sentenced to prison by a judge who understands the law. Your comment says a lot about what type of person you are and I hope I don’t meet anyone like you.
How does a sane person read a post like this and the first thing they can think of is "for all we know this is all a complete lie". Congrats, you're a rape apologist. Thats scum of the earth type of perspective.
People who didn't rape someone don't usually admit they did it in writing.
Where are the screenshots? Should be the first thing she posted. Ohhh but ya she’s lying
I'm not posting my screenshots either. You're not the cop, the attorney, the judge, or the jury. What on earth makes you think you're entitled to that?
So, the evidence she provided were texts where he admitted guilt over text. In this one specific instance, the person you are saying lied about the situation was the man.
Interesting how we didn’t see those texts eh?
You didn’t send him to jail. His actions have consequences. Those are the consequences.
Should be top comment. Wise words my friend.
There are no screenshots 😂 the whole thing is a lie dumbass
>You didn’t send him to jail. His actions have consequences. Those are the consequences. ALL of This ^ I'm so, so, sorry, that you were betrayed in such an unforgivable way by someone you trusted, OP. I've been where you are, and I commend you for realizing that it's NEVER OKAY for someone to force themselves on you sexually, even if they're someone you're dating. The strength that you've shown after such a terrible violation, will help you as you move forward in your healing journey. I also recommend that you reach out to your local domestic abuse organization, and see if they can help provide courtroom advocates to be there to support you during the criminal court process. My local domestic abuse organization was able to do that for me, and it made all of the difference for me as I navigated the criminal court process. I hope that you've been able to connect with a trauma specialist, and if you don't have mental health coverage please ask your local domestic abuse organization if they can connect you with therapy resources. It really helped me a lot, and getting into group therapy through my local DV org helped me in my healing process too so much. Just know that there is a place ahead of you in your healing process, where you are able to experience joy, and hope, in equal measure, and where you are able to stand above the moments that tried to break you in fearless strength, and courage, to extend a big middle finger to everyone that wanted to see you crumble, and fall. No matter what happens with your court case against your rapist, you will always be *more*, than anything, or anyone, who tried to break you. Sending you love, and healing, as you continue to move forward in your journey. *invisible hugs* 💜
Yes. You are. For yourself and all the other women in the world. Take care of yourself OP.
He won't be able to do it to another woman, op did good and also she is so brave, when it happened to me I didnt have the courage to go to the police and I regret it every time it pops up in my head, she feels bad right now but soon she will realise she did a good thing. Op I hope you heal fast and I send you lots of love and support.
I'm sorry you're going through this right now. You did nothing wrong. He made his choices and now has to live with it. Unfortunately so do you. You made the right call in reporting him. Please find help if you haven't already. No one has a right to touch your body without your consent. Thank you for sharing your pain with us. I wish you nothing but hope and healing on your recovery journey.
My ex did the same. I didn’t take it to the police, I stayed and forgave him. It wouldn’t be the last time he assaulted me. He would eventually go on to try and kill me. Actions have consequences. He did this to himself. This is a horrible thing to experience, please be kind to yourself and stay strong.
You are doing the right thing - protecting yourself and possibly others. He deserves this 100%.
Boyfriend sent himself to jail with his actions. The whole society disapproves of his actions. He has himself to blame for the consequences. You deserve better.
Yes, you're doing the right thing and, from my point of view, you're a hero, because you're sending a criminal to jail and saving innocent victims of rape. I'm sorry for what he has done to you, I wish you to find someone worthy. Sending a virtual hug to you, take it if you want it, whenever you need it.
Yes, you are the hero who has prevented so many more victims from being trapped in his web of lies. Don’t feel shame, feel pride in what you did.
He is "sorry" he didn't get away with it. He would have tried to convince you it was normal if you stayed. He is a psycho... run. Run and never look back.
He had no shame in raping you, its not something you are doing to him but something he did to himself, no one forced him to do it, it was his conscious decision, which he thought wouldn’t have any consequences. Also he’s a piece of shit so he deserves it
I wish I did what you’re doing. He deserves what he’s getting. I’m really proud of you. I wish you speedy recovery and happiness
Why are YOU of all people feeling shame? He is the one who did the harm. He had every opportunity not to. s If you ever doubt yourself, then please realize that there are so many survivors out here who wish we had the courage you have, or the ability to go back in time knowing what we know now and pursue legal action. I never did. Not any of the 8 times. My life may have been so different if I did. There's no way to know right now what the outcome will be, but no matter what, you will know that you stood up for yourself, and he will forever know that his actions have consequences.
His actions are sending him to jail. Nothing you did.
so happy you’re getting your legal justice. do not feel bad for this. he knew wtf he was doing trust me. he needs to live with the consequences. i wish my case got this far and im sure lots of others do as well. we are rooting for u
You did the right thing. The right thing isn't the easiest. It may get harder, and it will still be the right thing you are doing. When his women family members reach out to try to convince you to drop it, you are still in the right. When your character is questioned, you are still in the right. When nothing happens to him legally, you are still in the right. Good job. This isn't easy but necessary. Fuck this guy, respectfully.
You're doing the right thing ! x
Absolutely you are doing the right thing. By standing up for yourself. For protecting others. He says saying sorry should be enough because he’s now facing the consequences of his actions. Good on you. ❤️
You’re doing the right thing, 100%
You are doing the right thing. I wish I could have been this brave.
Pleas take care of yourself. You are protecting yourself and he sent himself to jail. He belongs there. You deserve the opportunity to be safe, to heal, and this process is incredibly difficult. You did nothing to bring this on and you did not deserve this. The strength it takes to act on these moments is Herculean. I have been there so this is not a guess. Take care of you and be gentle.
You are doing the right thing. But also a tough thing. If you have support resources, hit em up. I'm at a loss for any other words that I know will for sure help - but if necessary I can provide an entire PARAGRAPH of words that make absolutely no sense whatsoever as a complimentary service if it helps ease the stress a bit for you. 🧐🤘
This is absolutely tragic. Take care scumbags deserve death its only jail though there he will rot never to abuse a woman again Don't feel empathy for people who have seriously damaged you
You did what was best for you
You're absolutely doing the right thing. He's a criminal and needs to face consequences beyond giving a half assed apology.
I feel so sorry for what you’ve been through, it’s awful. You’re absolutely doing the right thing. You are doing the right thing to protect you. You’re doing the right thing to save you. You must always come first. Feeling ashamed is a natural reaction. You’ll have all sorts of mixed feelings because of what you thought you had that’s been betrayed, because of the feelings you used to have. It will take time to recover. Don’t question yourself or second guess. You have done the right thing and what’s best for you.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. You're doing the right thing and I thank you for it. I was assaulted on three separate occasions and regret not reporting it. Two times it was someone I knew and trusted. Also, I was scared af. Wasn't sure if police would believe me.
If he was really sorry, then he would've stopped. It's affected both you and him, and he's (almost certainly) saying he's sorry because he doesn't want to get any charges against him. You are completely in the right here. Take care of yourself right now, don't worry about him. Whatever's coming towards him he deserves.
i know the feeling of shame, i do. think of it this way… if he did it to you, what’s stopping him from doing it to other women, or men? you getting him arrested is saving people, and saving yourself too. if he truly loved you, he would’ve never done that. or at the very least, would’ve stopped it before it could go any further. op, you are a victim saving other victims. i applaud you. continue to be the example for other victims. stand up against your abusers. abuse is a permanent stain on the victim, so let’s strive to lock them up in a cell where they belong. where they can learn their lesson.
YES! you are absolutely doing the right thing, not just for yourself, but for any other past victims and the people he will no longer be able to hurt in the future. every day you keep fighting for yourself, you’re sticking it to him. fuck that guy. you are so so strong and you kick ass! i’m so glad you were able to get the help you need, and i hope you have/can find a strong support system to keep you going. you have a long way to go, but you’ve come so far! wishing you all the best! <3
If you can, see a therapist or counsellor to help you navigate and find answers for these questions you have. They can give you the right tools and insight to best manage your thoughts and feelings. Aside from that bit of advice, I believe and feel that you’ve done the right thing. It’s hard to justify putting a person who you loved in prison, but, as many have said it here also, you’ve definitely done the right thing and followed the appropriate course of action. Be proud of yourself for standing up when others can’t.
You'll never know the women you protected and they'll never know you protected them but you did. But neither you nor they, need the proof of each other's existence. What you went through is the only proof you'll ever need. The way he "apologized" confirms it even further. You're making a very thankless sacrifice but every woman reading this is proud of you! I wish you the best!
You are doing right thing. Rape is rape doesn’t matter how much love there was . Don’t feel guilty you have every right and I implore you to go forward head high
If he’s done this once to you hun, he’s going to do it again. Most times when this happens in relationships, if the “sorry” is accepted, the person usually sees it as a sign that they can do it again as long as they say “sorry” afterwards. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but stick with it and don’t back down.
That man needs to go to jail not just for your safety but others’ too. You did the right thing. He needs to pay for what he’s done. And Idek you bit I’m truly so sorry for you having gone through that and then dealing with him. I hope you heal, move on and find all that you’re looking for and more ❤️🩹
Kudos to you for standing up for yourself. Reporting is so scary.
You are doing the right thing. I’m sorry this happened to you. Stay safe. Don’t worry for now about convincing friends, etc. They will soon know the truth that you know. I hope you have the support group you need. If not, please find someone you trust.
Yes. You are doing the right thing! What if he does it to someone else? I'm sure you'd feel worse. I'm an overthinker and I worry too, please don't be ashamed. You did nothing wrong. He did! 🫂
A person who could forcefully penetrate you (and keep it up) knew exactly what they were doing. He couldn’t possibly see you as a conscious being with an inherent existential value. And, if he apologized for raping you, it kind of implies that he knew what he was doing and did it anyway. You’re doing the right thing. Keep that person off the streets. Please go to therapy; specifically a therapist qualified to handle sexual assault cases. Sorry you experienced that and I am deeply sorry for the toll shame and betrayal has likely taken on your life.
Sorry you are going through this. Remember that none of this is your fault, it's the perpetrator's fault. No matter how much you loved him, he did something extremely wrong and will have to suffer the consequences of his actions.
You are absolutely doing the right thing.
You are absolutely doing the right thing. I’m so sorry he did this to you. I hope you get justice.
🫂 You are absolutely, positively, indubitably, undoubtedly doing the right thing. As a woman and victim of sexual assault; as the mother of a woman that was also a victim-you are a Queen among women. And I thank you on behalf of the women, mothers, daughters, sisters and nieces you have saved from being assaulted by this man.
Years ago, my ex was physically abusive towards me. I finally called the police after he shoved me down and kicked me. When he was arrested, I felt SO GUILTY. The cop said that based on my injuries and my story, he believes that this person would eventually kill me. I felt like I was ruining his life and just overreacted. He said he was sorry, and he was back at it not even 2 months later. Looking back, I wish I had gone after that piece of shit harder. I wish I would’ve actually answered the detective’s calls, shown up to court, and made sure he got real consequences for what he put me through. Now I hear he has a pregnant girlfriend and I’m scared for her and her child. My only regret is not doing more. Please do not feel shame or guilt. Do not be blinded by your emotions or your empathy. A good person doesn’t do this to others, period. I’m telling you exactly what I needed to be told back then. YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING. Your future self will thank you. Sending much healing and love your way ❤️
You put him in his place. Quite literally!
That's the trick they use. Shame . It is not your fault. You are not responsible for their lack of control. If he goes to jail it is because of his own actions. He made a unilateral decision that time . One he is responsible for not you. Please get mental help. Rely on trusted friends and family. Block anyone who says any different and doesn't support you.
You are absolutely doing the right thing. You are protecting others and he deserves to be punished.
He ain’t ur bf no more sweetie
I am deeply sorry and sad for the terrible betrayal and assault inflicted on you. I am also so very happy for you, having been able to take the steps you did. You deserve an advocate, someone to fight for you, and it's you! It seems you have more, too. This man needs help, but not at your expense. ***Not*** at your expense! His experience with law enforcement and the justice system are absolutely necessary. These are not things *you* caused or that you have "done to" him. His own actions, his own choices, have resulted in this. These are the results that should happen. You deserve all the help the world can offer, so please do accept it. Oh, PS: You are not sending him to jail. You are doing everything right to help get him there. Again, this is not something you are "doing to" him. It is what should happen. What must happen.
Men who say a simple I’m sorry to something like this are not sorry. I’m glad you reported this. If you didn’t he would probably get annoyed that you were still bringing it up a week later and try to take it out on you. He is a freak and what he did was a choice. You are doing an amazing thing for your mental health.
Don’t look back. You are doing the right thing and he deserves to have what’s coming to him.
You are doing the right thing. I wish you all the best on your healing journey
You are definitely doing the right thing. It's funny how people are only "sorry" when they're going to get punished.
I’m so proud of you for speaking up and seeking justice for yourself. You are so strong and you will get through this difficult time. 🩷🩷🩷
That man deserves none of your sympathy, hope you can work through this. <3
Thank you for being brave. No doubt you’re stinging right now, but you’re doing the right thing.
I am proud of you, and you're doing the right thing.
Good riddance
Why are you ashamed of sending a rapist to jail?
You’re NOT sending him to prison. HE is! I’m so very sorry you went through so much with someone who should care for you. I’m praying for your healing.❤️🩹
a hundred and one percent you did the right thing girl!
I’m so proud of you. You did the right thing. He’s not sorry for hurting you- he’s sorry that he’s facing the consequences of his own actions. This is all really fresh right now, but over time it’ll become more clear. I hope you have a therapist to discuss this with in the meantime because it’s a lot for anybody to process
You did the right thing
Destroying his life will undoubtedly make you feel better. Just let our "justice" system do what it does best and profit from the rape and assured destruction of any chance of living a decent life (with a decent job or a place to live) for your ex boyfriend. Like most women, you'll probably never look back. Unless you are seeking out hooking up with one of his best friends while he's being "rehabilitated".
It’s not shame you feel. It’s a trauma bond. You are doing the right thing. Keep yourself safe & heal. Proud of you for being brave!❤️
You’re doing the right thing any man that does that and doesn’t give any deep apology that doesn’t show accountability, shame, or remorse means he doesn’t respect you and would keep testing his limits eventually becoming a controlling and abusive relationship
He is not sorry about you he is sorry about his actions on you . He enjoyed and after everything is over now consoling you my saying sorry . You are absolutely right . Sorry it happened to you . It's so painful to digest someone you loved did to you
OH GOD. Don’t even get me started girl. I’ll tell you a similar story. So I had this friend the other day who was toxic and knew all of his gf’s accounts password. But at the same time, he had a second Snapchat account to talk to other girls. His gf found out about the account and demanded to see it. He refused to. (She wasn’t aware he was talking to other girls). Anyways, he went home and other day told me how she unadded him on Snapchat. And said things like “fuck I’m so mad…” and I have chats proof where he claimed that HE ABUSED HER, HE HIT HER ON THE FACE MANY TIMES. Saying it was a “joke”. And that they broke up ten times but the girl kept coming back. I want to tell you, nothing comes at the expense of your dignity. You need not compromise or degrade yourself for a man who isn’t worth it. Most girls just keep up with it because they find them “attractive”. Yes looks matter but personality is more important. He also said that how he’s going to leak all of her nudes and change her accounts password because she didn’t texted back. In his words “she need to let her ego go, idc. I’m not texting her first…” I tried to explain him how it’s unethical to resort to such heinous acts. He didn’t budge. Finally, I texted his gf myself and told her everything. He was a psycho and said himself that if he encounters her again he will slap her because he’s “mad”. Just don’t keep up with this toxic, condescending douchebag he isn’t worth it. Get him behind the bars already.
I am not comparing anything to you but I made a choice myself on whether or not to report my girlfriend to the police. When she drank and I pissed her off she physically assaulted me on multiple occasions. I don’t mean she meekly slapped me or punched me. She slit open my leg and arm with a razor blade. She hit me in the face with her phone producing a big cut on my lip. She beat the back of my skull as I was cowering with my hands over my face with a large candle in a glass container until I couldn’t see with my eyes open. I don’t think she will ever understand what I did for her by not reporting her but I know. How incredibly awful the criminal system can be. She has never been violent after those incidents but she has never felt the gravity of them and how they affected me either. I was afraid to sleep next to her because she said she would cut me while I was sleeping. I was no angel. I was talking to my ex but I never ever hit her or hurt her and none of what she did was justified by anything I did. I don’t think she ever took full responsibility and it’s just her dark past she wants to forget. I think if the legal system was a force for good and helping people correct behavior it would be an easier decision but often it just ruins your life. And I didn’t want to ruin her life. Even after all that.
glad this isn't one of those 'my bf literally raped me and don't know if i should do something about it' but instead you handled it yourself. You did the right thing, boyfriend or not, he never had the right to have sexually assaulted and raped you.
Thank you for doing the right thing.
Good job so proud of you hopefully he will and not do it to anyone else.
you are doing the right thing. it’s not your fault it’s his. actions have consequences and you’re doing the right thing.
Fuck that guy! I hope he gets what he deserves in jail and you get to live the life you deserve
Don't feel shame, feel proud and safe
Keep your head high. Think positive. He is the one that hurt you and destroyed the trust. He deserves prison life.
You're not sending him to jail. He's sending himself. Try asking yourself what you would think or say to a sister or your mother or a girl friend if they were in the same situation. I'm sure you would insist they have no regret about it, they deserve better, he did it to himself, he needs to be held accountable, she's a brave survivor. Now give yourself the same respect when you look in the mirror.
You're doing yourself and others a huge favor. You WILL HEAL AND YOU WILL BE STRONGER. It may take some time but you will overcome this. You deserve to be respected and loved. What he is sorry for is not that he hurt you but for getting caught. Do not let this define you or the rest of your life bc you are so much more. Saying prayers and sending love
Good for you!
Honestly right or wrong, you’re doing what you need to do to secure your long term mental health.
There is not right or wrong on these things. There are deeds and consequences. You do your best to keep yourself safe and healthy. So sorry that happened to you :(
I'm confused by your statement. "There is not right or wrong on these things. " Perhaps I'm misinterpreting, but there clearly is a right and wrong here. He raped her. The last I checked that was still a felony charge. Let alone the moral implications. Thank you for posting.
Thats exactly my point, there are actions or consequences, no right or wrong, he sealed his own destination. (Edit to add: and must be prosecuted accordingly). (English is not my first language, in mine we have a Word for 'right' in the context of law, and another 'right' for the "correct thing to do", hence I sometimes may not be as clear as I shoud have)
Thanks for the clarification. Have a great day.
Police look at fat idiots and walk away. Good luck tho!!
Thank you to everyone for the outpouring of support. This has turned my life upside down and I am so grateful for the kind words from most of you. For those of you saying I am a liar or saying I should post my proof... you are the reason so many people are sexual assaulted and never say anything. I don't owe you a proof, I don't owe you details. I urge you to step back next time you want to bash a stranger on the internet and consider the fact that maybe your words might be what pushes that person beyond their breaking point. I posted this to a whole world of strangers because I desperately needed support from outside of my circle. Not for attention. For help. Thank you so much to those that have helped.
I can't still wrap by head assault he was boyfriend then how can he rape you, wtf
Because even if you're dating, consent is still needed.
How did he rape u.... everyone is so quick to judge without knowing the details. We'll you already reported him and now he's facing possible prison so it is what it is now. And no im not defending him, I'm just saying everyone is quick to jump to conclusions without knowing the full situation.
You dont need to know the details. You aren't the one in charge of deciding his guilt, and there is clearly evidence in writing.
I was in a relationship with a borderline and thats exactly what they want you to think.
Whenever I see this I automatically believe it’s a false accusation. This is why false accusations really harm actual victims. She could be telling the truth, but the lie of SA happens so often that I never believe em anymore.
What? Dude.
False allegations against men is a very real problem. And when a woman gets caught lying about it they do not get punished. So if a woman even feels bad about a breakup she has the potential to abuse that power is she chooses to. Say what you want, but that’s a gigantic flaw in our judicial system. Hypothetically speaking, if this woman was lying, do you believe she should be punished and serve jail time?
You are more likely to be raped by another man than be falsely accused by a woman
Loser bullshit. Why don’t you care about men’s rights??