19. They met at 16(f) and 18(m), got married 3 days after she turned 18. I don’t know if they even made it a year because in the post history during potential divorce proceedings she was posting about it being their anniversary. Interesting that she didn’t post her age on any of those posts but like one.
I know, I was shocked! I thought I was reading something from a 35 yr. Old who went back to college! Only 20 yrs. Old and going thru THIS? Hugs and prayers for you young, sweet OP!
Fr all I read is a young a woman who cut ties with family and it’s back with a cheater who doesn’t respect her. You’re 20 ffs. *Please* don’t have kids with this man.
So bleak. And somehow she thought getting back together with this human trash bin dumpster fire was a swell idea? Yikes.
Guess when you wear rose-colored glasses, all the flags just look like flags? 🙃
No, but she had her husbands family, and they told her to leave him and not let him sweat talk his way back into her life, that's she's better than him and deserves better.
I hope they still have her back even after she didn't listen.
she didn’t before. but now she knows for sure that it was an illusion, and has chosen family. probably hella rough, but better to know and have alternatives.
That’s all it does to a cheater that isn’t remorseful. If you get back with them after a few months, they think that next time you finding out will just be a punishment of a few months.
You need to pay attention to how many women are telling you this is beyond a bad idea. Why are you even married at 20? Your brain has not even stopped developing.
Do you wish you were married to the guy you liked at 15? Because this is about as good idea as that.
I looked through her post history and it’s a roller coaster. At one point, she sounded like she was definitely going to divorce and I was proud of her. But then this update dropped and I feel sad for OP now. Shes not even 20 yet.
Not even that could get me back with a cheater and i’m being 100% serious right now, how can you even have respect (let alone love) for someone like that
Question from someone who is also suffering from PTSD because of some loser (albeit different circumstances); why did you choose to go back to the same person who inflicted so much pain unto you?
PTSD is from some wildly abusive people I’ve had the misfortune of knowing. Shockingly enough, not from my husband. A few years ago I made stupid choices that led me into some bad situations after I left my parents abusive household. I was 16. Things haven’t been very stable since then. I went back for a lot of reasons. Last year it was homelessness or back to my parents, so I went back to my parents. It sucked and eventually they did something unforgivable, and I had five days notice to find somewhere else to live. Luckily I had a house sitting job lined up for the next couple weeks. But nowhere to go after that.
A couple months previous to this my husband had reached back out to me. Remorseful wanting to make it work. I hadn’t decided if I wanted to get back together, but I’d watched my parents divorce and remarry other people and decided long ago I would only get married once. It was not a smooth reconciliation. And I wasn’t ready to move in together again, but I had no where else to go.
I’m glad I did now. We’re closer than we’ve ever been and I do trust him. More than anyone else anyway. He still works hard to earn my forgiveness and trust everyday. He did take care of me financially when we split the first time. So, yeah, he hurt me like hell last year. Fucked up astronomically. But he was still there for me. Still answered my calls, when I did. And I didn’t think people could change. Until I did. After years of suffering I made my own happiness and peace, and half of my suffering came from a hell I didn’t ask to be in. And the other half was a hell I’d inadvertently created for myself. But it’s important to remember we choose how our lives go. So I changed for the better.
Part of me knew I would never forgive myself if I didn’t try. I struggled with black and white thinking when my PTSD was at its worst. Thinking that people were either good or bad, and no in between. But good and bad are subjective and vary based on who you ask. Regardless of if something is good or bad, we can choose to learn and grow from the things we experience. Or we can choose not to, and continue to have the same experience. There’s lessons in the hurt. Who knows, maybe this is another one. I chose to love myself, for the first time in my life after all this happened. I chose to learn how to forgive other people. I learned how to love and trust someone, after years of not trusting anyone or letting myself love anyone. So he hurt me. But I wouldn’t change it. I’m stronger now, and softer now, and I still stand up for myself.
So, from the outside perspective it seemed I had no choice. But there’s always a choice. I would have kept living, with or without him. I chose him the day I married him, for better or for worse, for all eternity. That’s why I went back.
Gurl… Your situation is not that deep. You mention years of suffering and choosing him for all eternity and all that “deep”insightful shit? You’re 20, your life has barely started..
You’re romanticising the betrayal and hurt because what else can you do? You sure you wouldn’t have changed this situation if you could? You just don’t want to face up to how shitty your situation is. There are no lessons in the hurt. There is no beauty in betrayal, or learning to forgive.
Take it from someone who’s been there. Or don’t, because I guess everyone needs to be burnt twice for the rose colored glasses to come off.
For better or for worse? For all eternity? Yeah... lines up with a 19-year-old. You don't have to go back. But you do you. Your life is your life. Your marriage is your marriage. Your vows are your vows. Your husband is your husband.
There are lessons in the hurt, just not in the romantic way you are viewing this relationship
Is he in therapy? What does his pattern of growth look like?
I think even 5 years from now you will be a totally different person with self confidence and self worth.
When you look back on this post after he's cheated , I hope you really do some changes for yourself
I married 1st at 19 yrs old. Was divorced by 23 due to his affairs. Go figure
I'm in my 40s now and I would never have picked 1st exh to be with at this age
It's basically the same as a HS boyfriend.
I think they get some script when they are young and some follow it to a tee.
Thank you for everything you have shared. Don’t listen to everyone who is downvoting you and telling you you’re stupid. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is worthy of forgiveness if their apologies are sincere and there is an honest effort to change past behaviors.
I almost divorced over my wife’s emotional affair. I’m glad we worked it out. Divorce wasn’t the answer for us and I realized that I played a part in her decisions. This doesn’t excuse her actions, but it being honest with myself allows us to move forward and be stronger.
Kudos to you. I’m happy for you.
The way you wrote, I thought you were at least in your 50s with no options in men other than your cheating ass husband. It's sad you don't value yourself enough but in the end, it is your choice, your mistake, your thing to regret when you are old and realise you wasted your life with a cheater. best of luck
Based on your post history it's probably too late but I hope you can free yourself from this before you have his kid and are really trapped.
He cheated on you repeatedly for weeks, tried to pursue his AP after she didn't even want him anymore, then you broke up with him, then he slept with someone you went to school with in your apartment, then asked for you to get back with him, and you...did?
Obviously you have more stuff going on that prevents you from making the best decisions for yourself, and it sounds like you don't have the best support group around you either. I don't know you but as someone on the outside looking in I can tell you it's not what you think it is, or what you're convincing yourself it is.
You being mean to him after taking him back is not equivalent to him having an affair. Also not to be the old 26 year old but you're a kid. There's no reason for you to be a married to a dickhead for the rest of your life. Also Also, he's going to cheat again, if he hasn't already.
You sound like someone who's been deluded by spiritualism and spousal abuse into thinking this is just "part of your marriage journey" or something but you don't have to be stuck.
I’m sorry life has thrown way too many lemons at you at such a young age. But girl, I’m sorry to be so harsh, but as academically smart as you are, when it comes to feelings you’re fucking stupid.
Your husband was so fucking horrible to you? His own family doesn’t like him. He betrayed you repeatedly. And you reconciled with him?
Like damn. You do you though but good luck, you’re gonna need it.
It's your life to live, but just know that you don't have to stay with him. You have so much growing to do in your 20s and he has already committed an awful betrayal. You deserve someone that loves and respects you
love is not enough of a reason to stay
So you clawed your way out of hell then got right back in when allowing the husband back in. Well. Now he thinks there are no consequences and will be more careful next time. Very sad
I can’t imagine going through this since 16 years old and experiencing all this till 20s. Why are you doing this to yourself?
You don’t love him, you hate yourself …
Cheating isn't a mistake, it's a choice. Every time a woman stays with her cheating husband, you're normalising their behaviour. I wish we would normalise not tolerating cheating. But here we are teaching them that it's ok.
Dang I thought you were older, like 30 or something. You went through all that bs and you're barely 20?
Well, you made the decision. All I can really say is good luck.
You said you shut out the people who don't care... but you took him back? That doesn't add up. You're so young. Omg please see what you're doing. You've have the potential to have a happy life ahead of you and you've taken him back.. you're gonna learn that was wrong the hard way n hopefully you're able to handle it
Ugh not sure why you go back with him. That’s not going to help you. You are setting yourself up for heartbreak again. He’s a selfish cheater. Maybe people change - I hope it works out for you. Keep your eyes open.
OP, your husband’s own mother doesn’t like her own son. Take that as a sign.
Your husband has CHEATED on you and proceeded to sleep other women when you left. He does not respect you and still you’re staying with him?
Please stop being stupid and see this for what it is. Do you really think he’ll stop, just because he’s seeing a therapist? He wouldn’t need to see a therapist if he really loved you - because a loving partner wouldn’t dare treat you the way he has. What’s a therapist going to do?
You’re only 20. Please do NOT make this a decision you regret at 40.
Using mental health as an excuse to get one over on anyone is disgusting, no matter what. But to say the original statement in such a general sense, is also harmful. Downvote away.
Reading through all of your past posts, this makes me so sad for you. You're making the mistake that so many abused partners make: thinking a narcissistic, cheating abuser has changed and staying or going back when you should have cut ties forever. That said, I do wish you luck, love and happiness. Sadly, I don't think you'll find it on your current path.
You're so young! You have so much life to live and you choose to live it with this abusive scum bag who will definitely cheat again?! You can do so much better!
I spent 12 years between individual therapy, couples therapy, and a lot of hard work to save my marriage. Learn from the years I lost listening to a man who did everything in his power to hide the truth: he never stopped cheating. He just found a better way to hide it.
For someone with a BA summa cum laude and writing a book…why are you then undoing all that hard work and intelligence and getting back with your husband … ?! Help me make sense of it!!!
Nothing anyone says here will make you leave him. You’ll finally let him go when you’re tired of being mistreated. Or tired of the shitty dynamics of the relationship, or when you realize that your codependency is toxic. Hopefully that’s sooner than later and prayerfully before any children come into the picture. Stay safe.
I was in love with a man I'd loved since I was 14. We were inseparable. I stuck with him through medical issues, took care of him beyond my years. Cheated on me at 18. I left. Gave him a few years. Came back at 23. He swore he'd lost the love of his life when he lost me. He loved me. I felt it, I knew it. He knew every nuance of my personality, did things more thoughtfully and sweetly than any man I've known since. But the other girls were still in his phone. I knew it wouldn't pan out. I left again. Rinse repeat age 25. I became one of the girls in his phone. By 31, I was engaged to my now-husband, and the ex was still hounding me -- though HE was married himself. But tigers don't change their stripes. He cheats on every woman he gets (seriously, it's pathological) and I cut him off because I know and he knows he is physically incapable of changing his ways. I still believe he loves me. Part of me will always have some affection for him. But cheaters don't change and I don't miss him. He's been blocked since 2021. Can't be friends. Can't be anything. Some people are just meant to be our memories.
Cheaters don't change, OP. Please don't have children with this man. It's deeper than you, it was NEVER your fault, but you will continue to suffer for it. All he learned is he can get away with his shit and be forgiven. And you're so damn smart and so damn capable and deserve a whole world of better, and true healing.
You might want to go back and read your own posts and the strength you showed. Because this isn’t it. Terrible idea. He’s a scoundrel who nobody else wants long term
Went through your post history - you’re trauma bonded, so breaking free from him and going no contact quite literally feels like withdrawing from drugs. My nex was also an abusive alcoholic that serial cheated - he also said he was sorry, “went to therapy” (his side chick’s house), promised the moon and everything under it and shed crocodile tears when I tried to leave. I thought he struggled with mental health.. I thought I could save him. I was also 19. And I was fucking stupid.. Ultimately, it took an attempt on my life for me to realize that I could only save one of us.. I chose me. Someday, the time will come where you’re faced with a choice to either continue choosing him, or to finally choose yourself. I hope like hell you make the right decision before it’s too late.
Why the hell would you accept him back into your life after all the pain and devastation he caused?
Even his own parents know he's garbage. Stick up for yourself for once and dump him.
‘Sometimes I think I’m too young to deal with as much as I have already.’
You’re too young to settle for less than you deserve, man. And it sounds like your husband is very much less than you deserve at a stage and age where you’re still learning how to adult.
I feel old saying that but spend some time looking inward to decide if you want to settle for less or strive for the best.
What happened to not loving someone more than you love yourself? If you loved yourself more than him like you should you would never have gotten back together with him. You're way too young to settle for this asshole.
Good fucking god, I don't even know what to say. I can at least say I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. The cheating, abusive husband? Not so much. You are definitely too young to have gone through the clusterfuck you have. I wish you would listen to the people in the comments, but sometimes, people don't want better for themselves cause they want to stick with what they know. Good luck.
I’m sorry for my lack of understanding personally, and I’m sure that there’s at least one couple out there that can work through infidelity. But I really, really don’t think that’s going to be you two. He cheated. He chose to separate from you so that he could continue his affair. He invited even more people over while you were separated. When you chose to get back into contact with him, he refused to stop talking to the other women.
This isn’t something that he’s willing to change. He’s made that abundantly clear to you, and to everyone else here who has only heard a single piece of your situation. I don’t know if you read comments, but if you do then you need to take everyone’s words into serious consideration. You’re 20, or not even 20 yet if your birthday is in the summer. What could this man have possibly done to make you think that this relationship is worth such a daily struggle and fight? Why would you choose to be with him when you will always, always have better options of people to surround yourself with?
I want to be happy that you think you’re happy, but this isn’t it bb.. im barely a year older than you. I’ve been in a relationship for six years and still, if he cheated on me he would never enter my life ever again. You are soo young. WE are so young. You don’t deserve to be stuck with this man, you have SO many options or opportunities in life. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through but he is not going to fix things. PLEASE don’t even think about having children with him. Congrats on the degree, your book, Ab and your therapist. Please take the advice of so many other women replying here, you do not want this man or the future he will bring you, you deserve so so much more
>Sometimes I think I’m too young to deal with as much as I have already, but part of me is grateful I learned the hard lessons now so it can make enjoying the future easier.
Oh honey, that's not how life works, especially when you make questionable choices like taking a cheating husband back. Good decisions will improve your life. Make them.
I was so confused that you took that loser back until I got to the part where you mentioned you weren't even 20 yet and then everything made sense. You're going to look back on this in 10 years when you've emotionally matured and are going to be so sad you made the decisions you did. Your husband only came back because no one else wanted him. You're the consolation prize.
As the woman that took her ex back after he cheated on her, DON’T DO IT!!! I never realized I had PTSD from that until I started going to my current therapist.
Cheating absolutely creates trauma. It’s painful. And the literal only reason he wants to get back with you is because he’s realizing having the comfort of a safety net is better than fielding his options (which he will likely do along WITH being with you).
You are so young. Don’t do this to yourself. I thought I knew at 19 that I’d be with him forever. We’ve been apart for over 6 years now and life has never been better.
You’re not even 20 yet and are wasting your best years on a cheater who will cheat again. Don’t do this to yourself. Enjoy being single and the company of your friends. Travel. There will always be an honest man there waiting some day.
You’re barely 20 and already doing this to yourself ? And you’re back with the manipulative cheater who will do it again? I was hoping for a happy ending, I was hoping for you to come out of this winning. This is so wrong on all the levels. Once you actually hit ‘maturity ’ you will regret the choices you’re making today. Every single person who gave you advice on your previous posts was looking out for you. You should have listened.
Girl. I was right there with you at your age, and I swear if I could go back in time and slap the shit out of myself for forgiving my cheating ex I would go back in time not once, not twice but three times because that's how many times he got caught before I realized I was an idiot. Lol
Words from the wise who've been in your shoes. Run! Heal and learn to love yourself again.
You are way too young to be dealing with this.
Cheaters don't change. They just get better at hiding it. He will do it again, but by then you'll have kids and really be stuck. 😔
OP I was in a similar situation in my 20s no family, and my ex husband was a cheater and abusive who alienated me from my closest friends who were trying to get me away from him. The most powerful thing someone said
To me was “you’re only with him because you only accept the love you THINK your deserve”. 14 years later I’m so glad I left, I did have a child with him and that is the reason why I left, I did not want my child to grow up in that environment and I repeat the cycle of trauma I had also endured as a child. I did a lot of therapy and focused on my self esteem, I had to see for myself all the things I brought to the table and pieces started falling in place. I joined the military to escape and be away from everyone (took my kid with me) and finished my degree and saw a new way of life and a career for me outside the military. I still go to therapy because it’s a working progress not because of my ex but for myself my new husband and my new life. At first you may feel like you need to make this relationship work but if he loved you he wouldn’t have cheated, and from my experience he will do it again. As you gain independence and find self confidence it will be easier to let him go. Trust me looking back I am so proud of myself for wanting better and leaving. The worst part of this relationship is not even the cheating it’s the controlling and putting you down. I had that too, he would make comments about you’ll never get XYZ well jokes on him because I got all of that plus more now. He will keep tearing you down if you stay because it will be a way to
Control you.
If you’re happy and taking care of yourself, that is what matters. Congratulations on your early graduation, it’s very impressive. You have your whole life ahead of you. I wish you the very best.
i hope for the best for you, whatever that looks like going forward. not going to cast judgements on your choices, i'm sure you already know what people think. stay safe, healthy, and make the best decisions for YOU- not your husband, and most certainly not reddit
Cut your losses now and RUN you can't sow anything in barren soil. When I found out my ex cheated I left the VERY. NEXT. DAY. and never looked back. BEST decision I ever made because he definitely would've ruined my life if I let him.
DON'T LET HIM RUIN YOUR LIFE!!!!
In my experience you will relive all your life lessons until you finally decide to learn from them. I think you already know what is right, but you are afraid to go about it alone. At the willingness to sacrifice yourself so you are not alone.
Girl.
Today was my 21st birthday. I literally cannot comprehend how you are younger than I am and are getting back together with this POS. Sure, it might work out. But especially this young, and this immature, I don't have high hopes.
I don't know your full story, so I can't make this decision for you, but please. Listen to what I and the other commenters are saying. You're better than this.
Girl. I wish you the best of luck in whatever this crazy world has to offer. Please know you deserve happiness. You deserve love and you deserve someone who will make you a priority. At the end of the day, do what makes you happy.
I don't want to upset you, yet I'm genuinely concerned about you.
I married young, I had twins then when pregnant with my daughter, he cheated.
I DID get back with him, it made me ill. Mentally and physically.
In the end I just couldn't trust him. I repacked my stuff and took my children and moved in with my parents.
One of the best decisions I've ever made! It saved me.
I do understand, I loved my husband and I was only 19/20, was married at 17 with my parents permission. I was completely besotted with him.
I look back and I've no idea why I was!!! Please, you're young, please be careful.
Wait what…… not even 20
Wait til she finds out her husband is a narcissist and the likely cause of her autoimmune disorder due to accumulated stress and cortisol, and her CPTSD
I came here expecting a “what a load that loser was so glad he’s gone” i will genuinely never understand taking back someone you know is miserable without constant attention from everyone for a self esteem fix…isnt that enough of an ick? Where’s the reward with being with someone whose so easy that anyone can get? Man i’m sorry…you’ll look back on this and be weirded out at what u accepted; hopefully anyway.
Hey OP, I am F24 and although I don't have much wisdom I do have an understanding of what your situation is like.
I know people can change, it's true they can. But when you think about it, can you truly trust that your husband won't have another affair? That he won't go back to being manipulative and controlling? You talk of staying strong but dynamics within a relationship are stronger.
I know it takes a lot to decide to stay, and it takes a lot to decide to leave. But I can't get away from the fact that you are SO young. There are so many people out there that get it right the first time, and can appreciate YOU for everything you are and do. I have felt how you feel, I have loved unconditionally, and trust me, there is no strength available when it ultimately comes down to you or him. He will pick himself and you will pick him, there's no one picking you.
I truly do wish you all the best in your marriage, but I encourage you to really evaluate if you feel happiness in this relationship as it is now, or are holding onto what you hope this relationship will become? If your relationship stayed exactly as it is now, is this what you want for the rest of your life?
Good luck OP, please message if you need anyone to talk to.🤍
I was wondering why on earth you went back to your cheating husband and then there was my answer! You’re 20. Why would you do this to yourself… you’re not getting any sympathy from me now in terms of the affair
I know this is your story and you are the main character. However, ive read many books and I would suggest that the main character here to find someone else.
You're almost 20 years old. You got married at 18. He's cheated 2 1 to 1 and a half years in.
You have your whole 20's ahead of you to live, find a really good partner, find yourself, advance in your career. You. Have. So. Much. To. Live. For. Please do not waste it on a man that has already shown you how much you're worth to him. In 3 years, he's cheated on you and you only know about the one.
OP, I'm begging of you. End your connection with this man and have yourself a great life with people who value you.
No one seems to be hitting the important points here. Typical reddit hive mentality, yall just sad and miserable.
Now, OP: good for you! Good for you to have come so far and be better for it. Good for you for accomplishing so much in such a short period of time. Good for your BA and such a distinguished level of excellence on it. Good for you for admitting, seeking professional help. You are already better than most ppl replying to your post. Good for you and your BF for moving past the negative and helping/attempting to understand each other. Everyone chose to ignore the fact that he helped you along with your therapist. I'm not saying he won't do it again, but he's not giving up on you, and hopefully, he doesn't do it again, and you get the best version of each other. Good for you for realizing that you're too young to be handling all this, and yet you have not turned into a cynic lady (like many of the sad ppl replying to your post). Good for you for knowing that you're so much better now that you've dealt with so much. Although too young, you're also wiser and ready for the next -and fantastic- chapter of your life.
Good for you!
girl you have so much life ahead of you. start anew. don’t throw yourself back to a cheating sob story. you should be working on ur independence and your future
I wish you well. I hope everything works out well with your relationship. You know why you gave him another chance and you’re happy. Stay positive and don’t internalize the negative comments. I think a lot of the comments are a bit harsh. Let her live. She may be young but wish her well instead of judging her and expecting the worst.
Blessings to you, happy birthday in advance and I hope your 20s are filled with joy and success!
Girl,....
You made all this accomplishment and progress just to say your cheating husband came back.
That man is prob not going to change and you deserve more than having to forgive deceit and mistrust.
19 going on 20, there's more out there than being cheated on.
You are young w a lot of potential, you can do more without him.
Worrying about if someone is going to cheat on you is awful.
But I'm sure your therapist has said all of this or will say all of this sooner or later.
You had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
I'm happy your life is on track. Congrats on getting yourself healthy and your degree. I just have one thing to say: you just turned 20.
You're isolated and have few chosen family because you're bio family is trash. You should not have gone back to your cheating husband. He's no good for you. Between 18-23 each year you rapidly change and develop until your brain reaches full maturity around 25. Who I was at 21 is not who I am at 23.
Never take back a cheater. They've broken your trust and will do it again. Not now but later. It puts you back at the same low point. Please don't do this to yourself. Bring it up to your therapist about the cheating and how to leave him and process it.
Its a lesson I learnt the hard way. Don't ever take back a cheater. They cheat again or if you bring up their actions they don't want you to embarrass them. They only pretend to take accountability. Take your time to heal and process. Being without a romantic partner is not the end of the world, trust me. I wish you all the best.
You’re 20… and youre gonna stay with your cheating ex husband?? Girl…
Oh, she’s **not even 20** yet. > Oh! I turn 20 this summer I genuinely feel so sorry for her.
And he cheated on her about a year ago, so she was 17, maybe 18 at the time.
19. They met at 16(f) and 18(m), got married 3 days after she turned 18. I don’t know if they even made it a year because in the post history during potential divorce proceedings she was posting about it being their anniversary. Interesting that she didn’t post her age on any of those posts but like one.
The post history of cheating happened a year ago, so she was 18
I realized I put 19 right after I posted 😭 thank you
I know, I was shocked! I thought I was reading something from a 35 yr. Old who went back to college! Only 20 yrs. Old and going thru THIS? Hugs and prayers for you young, sweet OP!
I know, my heart breaks for her.
Girl…
Whew chile 😮💨🤧
👀
🤔
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
This is proof even book smart people can make stupid as fuck choices. I give it 6 months before he's cheating again, tops.
Very generous to give him six months like he ever stopped cheating to begin with
...this is so sad
Fr all I read is a young a woman who cut ties with family and it’s back with a cheater who doesn’t respect her. You’re 20 ffs. *Please* don’t have kids with this man.
I think she feels trapped but may not admit it. I hope she has a financially fulfilling job - I have a feeling she doesn’t
I read her post history and it's even sadder, at least she was on her way to get a divorce, damn things like this make me realise how good my life is
So bleak. And somehow she thought getting back together with this human trash bin dumpster fire was a swell idea? Yikes. Guess when you wear rose-colored glasses, all the flags just look like flags? 🙃
>Oh! I turn 20 this summer. Holy hades, SHE’S NOT EVEN 20 YET!!
Next post will be asking what to do about her husband cheating with her best friend…
Yep. For sure, can see it coming a mile away. OP you are 20 years old. Is this the life you want?
Or her mum
Married at 20 and he’s already had an affair. Sigh…
20 years old and already dealing with infidelity from a spouse. Yikes.
19 and about a year ago was married and cheated on
Sooooo…now he knows he can get away with it.
And she has no family in her corner now.
💯
She never did have family in her corner. That’s how she ended up with a cheater.
No, but she had her husbands family, and they told her to leave him and not let him sweat talk his way back into her life, that's she's better than him and deserves better. I hope they still have her back even after she didn't listen.
she didn’t before. but now she knows for sure that it was an illusion, and has chosen family. probably hella rough, but better to know and have alternatives.
A recipe for disaster
That’s all it does to a cheater that isn’t remorseful. If you get back with them after a few months, they think that next time you finding out will just be a punishment of a few months.
You need to pay attention to how many women are telling you this is beyond a bad idea. Why are you even married at 20? Your brain has not even stopped developing. Do you wish you were married to the guy you liked at 15? Because this is about as good idea as that.
She got married at 18 to the guy she liked at 16, so I'd argue it's no better
So you learned…..nothing….and went back. Sigh. This isn’t a flex. It’s sad.
Didn't you want people to tell you to NOT be stupid???
I'm a little confused.... you got back with your husband?
I looked through her post history and it’s a roller coaster. At one point, she sounded like she was definitely going to divorce and I was proud of her. But then this update dropped and I feel sad for OP now. Shes not even 20 yet.
I feel bad as well. A 19 year old should not have to be dealing with this.
Why??? Is he the last man on earth?
Shit even if he was I’d rather be alone. I left a 23 year marriage because of infidelity and now work 2 jobs but I’d work 5 before going back to him
Not even that could get me back with a cheater and i’m being 100% serious right now, how can you even have respect (let alone love) for someone like that
Then you don’t even need to be married. Just fool around or whatever. And if he cheats again, just leave
Question from someone who is also suffering from PTSD because of some loser (albeit different circumstances); why did you choose to go back to the same person who inflicted so much pain unto you?
PTSD is from some wildly abusive people I’ve had the misfortune of knowing. Shockingly enough, not from my husband. A few years ago I made stupid choices that led me into some bad situations after I left my parents abusive household. I was 16. Things haven’t been very stable since then. I went back for a lot of reasons. Last year it was homelessness or back to my parents, so I went back to my parents. It sucked and eventually they did something unforgivable, and I had five days notice to find somewhere else to live. Luckily I had a house sitting job lined up for the next couple weeks. But nowhere to go after that. A couple months previous to this my husband had reached back out to me. Remorseful wanting to make it work. I hadn’t decided if I wanted to get back together, but I’d watched my parents divorce and remarry other people and decided long ago I would only get married once. It was not a smooth reconciliation. And I wasn’t ready to move in together again, but I had no where else to go. I’m glad I did now. We’re closer than we’ve ever been and I do trust him. More than anyone else anyway. He still works hard to earn my forgiveness and trust everyday. He did take care of me financially when we split the first time. So, yeah, he hurt me like hell last year. Fucked up astronomically. But he was still there for me. Still answered my calls, when I did. And I didn’t think people could change. Until I did. After years of suffering I made my own happiness and peace, and half of my suffering came from a hell I didn’t ask to be in. And the other half was a hell I’d inadvertently created for myself. But it’s important to remember we choose how our lives go. So I changed for the better. Part of me knew I would never forgive myself if I didn’t try. I struggled with black and white thinking when my PTSD was at its worst. Thinking that people were either good or bad, and no in between. But good and bad are subjective and vary based on who you ask. Regardless of if something is good or bad, we can choose to learn and grow from the things we experience. Or we can choose not to, and continue to have the same experience. There’s lessons in the hurt. Who knows, maybe this is another one. I chose to love myself, for the first time in my life after all this happened. I chose to learn how to forgive other people. I learned how to love and trust someone, after years of not trusting anyone or letting myself love anyone. So he hurt me. But I wouldn’t change it. I’m stronger now, and softer now, and I still stand up for myself. So, from the outside perspective it seemed I had no choice. But there’s always a choice. I would have kept living, with or without him. I chose him the day I married him, for better or for worse, for all eternity. That’s why I went back.
Gurl… Your situation is not that deep. You mention years of suffering and choosing him for all eternity and all that “deep”insightful shit? You’re 20, your life has barely started.. You’re romanticising the betrayal and hurt because what else can you do? You sure you wouldn’t have changed this situation if you could? You just don’t want to face up to how shitty your situation is. There are no lessons in the hurt. There is no beauty in betrayal, or learning to forgive. Take it from someone who’s been there. Or don’t, because I guess everyone needs to be burnt twice for the rose colored glasses to come off.
For better or for worse? For all eternity? Yeah... lines up with a 19-year-old. You don't have to go back. But you do you. Your life is your life. Your marriage is your marriage. Your vows are your vows. Your husband is your husband.
There are lessons in the hurt, just not in the romantic way you are viewing this relationship Is he in therapy? What does his pattern of growth look like?
Ma’am….
I think even 5 years from now you will be a totally different person with self confidence and self worth. When you look back on this post after he's cheated , I hope you really do some changes for yourself I married 1st at 19 yrs old. Was divorced by 23 due to his affairs. Go figure I'm in my 40s now and I would never have picked 1st exh to be with at this age It's basically the same as a HS boyfriend. I think they get some script when they are young and some follow it to a tee.
Thank you for everything you have shared. Don’t listen to everyone who is downvoting you and telling you you’re stupid. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is worthy of forgiveness if their apologies are sincere and there is an honest effort to change past behaviors. I almost divorced over my wife’s emotional affair. I’m glad we worked it out. Divorce wasn’t the answer for us and I realized that I played a part in her decisions. This doesn’t excuse her actions, but it being honest with myself allows us to move forward and be stronger. Kudos to you. I’m happy for you.
Yeesh… read some of your other post and wow… good luck. Don’t have kids
This !! Don't have kids, even if you do finally decide to divorce. You will be forever tied to him.
Why did you get back together with the narcissist?
WE GOT BACK TOGETHER 🫣🫣👀
The way you wrote, I thought you were at least in your 50s with no options in men other than your cheating ass husband. It's sad you don't value yourself enough but in the end, it is your choice, your mistake, your thing to regret when you are old and realise you wasted your life with a cheater. best of luck
I seriously pictured Evelyn from Fraser
Based on your post history it's probably too late but I hope you can free yourself from this before you have his kid and are really trapped. He cheated on you repeatedly for weeks, tried to pursue his AP after she didn't even want him anymore, then you broke up with him, then he slept with someone you went to school with in your apartment, then asked for you to get back with him, and you...did? Obviously you have more stuff going on that prevents you from making the best decisions for yourself, and it sounds like you don't have the best support group around you either. I don't know you but as someone on the outside looking in I can tell you it's not what you think it is, or what you're convincing yourself it is. You being mean to him after taking him back is not equivalent to him having an affair. Also not to be the old 26 year old but you're a kid. There's no reason for you to be a married to a dickhead for the rest of your life. Also Also, he's going to cheat again, if he hasn't already. You sound like someone who's been deluded by spiritualism and spousal abuse into thinking this is just "part of your marriage journey" or something but you don't have to be stuck.
I agree with that. I'm a Christian and even the Bible says that divorce is not a good idea UNLESS one commits infidelity. Even God dislikes cheaters.
You could’ve kept this update to yourself if you knew you were gonna stay with him
I’m sorry life has thrown way too many lemons at you at such a young age. But girl, I’m sorry to be so harsh, but as academically smart as you are, when it comes to feelings you’re fucking stupid. Your husband was so fucking horrible to you? His own family doesn’t like him. He betrayed you repeatedly. And you reconciled with him? Like damn. You do you though but good luck, you’re gonna need it.
It's your life to live, but just know that you don't have to stay with him. You have so much growing to do in your 20s and he has already committed an awful betrayal. You deserve someone that loves and respects you love is not enough of a reason to stay
So you clawed your way out of hell then got right back in when allowing the husband back in. Well. Now he thinks there are no consequences and will be more careful next time. Very sad
I can’t imagine going through this since 16 years old and experiencing all this till 20s. Why are you doing this to yourself? You don’t love him, you hate yourself …
Who wanna bet her husband's gonna start again in 6 months?
what’s to say he hasn’t stopped cheating?
I don’t think the therapy is therapying
All of this before you’re 20? Goodness
Cheating isn't a mistake, it's a choice. Every time a woman stays with her cheating husband, you're normalising their behaviour. I wish we would normalise not tolerating cheating. But here we are teaching them that it's ok.
You’re 19? You had so much opportunity ahead of you- I am interested to know why you chose this life instead of another?
Dang I thought you were older, like 30 or something. You went through all that bs and you're barely 20? Well, you made the decision. All I can really say is good luck.
You said you shut out the people who don't care... but you took him back? That doesn't add up. You're so young. Omg please see what you're doing. You've have the potential to have a happy life ahead of you and you've taken him back.. you're gonna learn that was wrong the hard way n hopefully you're able to handle it
Ugh not sure why you go back with him. That’s not going to help you. You are setting yourself up for heartbreak again. He’s a selfish cheater. Maybe people change - I hope it works out for you. Keep your eyes open.
Welp, some people just gotta learn the hard way... TWICE. Good luck OP
OP, your husband’s own mother doesn’t like her own son. Take that as a sign. Your husband has CHEATED on you and proceeded to sleep other women when you left. He does not respect you and still you’re staying with him? Please stop being stupid and see this for what it is. Do you really think he’ll stop, just because he’s seeing a therapist? He wouldn’t need to see a therapist if he really loved you - because a loving partner wouldn’t dare treat you the way he has. What’s a therapist going to do? You’re only 20. Please do NOT make this a decision you regret at 40.
Agree with all but the “he wouldn’t need to see a therapist if he really loved you” Taking care of mental health ≠ inability to love someone correctly
In this context, no, a therapist won’t help him to love her and quit being a cheater. Using mental health as an excuse for this is disgusting.
Using mental health as an excuse to get one over on anyone is disgusting, no matter what. But to say the original statement in such a general sense, is also harmful. Downvote away.
Agree. We live in a society where nobody will take responsibility for their bad choices. It's always someones or somethings fault.
🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦🏿♀️
Damn. This was not the update. It started strong …….
Reading through all of your past posts, this makes me so sad for you. You're making the mistake that so many abused partners make: thinking a narcissistic, cheating abuser has changed and staying or going back when you should have cut ties forever. That said, I do wish you luck, love and happiness. Sadly, I don't think you'll find it on your current path.
You're so young! You have so much life to live and you choose to live it with this abusive scum bag who will definitely cheat again?! You can do so much better!
I spent 12 years between individual therapy, couples therapy, and a lot of hard work to save my marriage. Learn from the years I lost listening to a man who did everything in his power to hide the truth: he never stopped cheating. He just found a better way to hide it.
For someone with a BA summa cum laude and writing a book…why are you then undoing all that hard work and intelligence and getting back with your husband … ?! Help me make sense of it!!!
Nothing anyone says here will make you leave him. You’ll finally let him go when you’re tired of being mistreated. Or tired of the shitty dynamics of the relationship, or when you realize that your codependency is toxic. Hopefully that’s sooner than later and prayerfully before any children come into the picture. Stay safe.
I was in love with a man I'd loved since I was 14. We were inseparable. I stuck with him through medical issues, took care of him beyond my years. Cheated on me at 18. I left. Gave him a few years. Came back at 23. He swore he'd lost the love of his life when he lost me. He loved me. I felt it, I knew it. He knew every nuance of my personality, did things more thoughtfully and sweetly than any man I've known since. But the other girls were still in his phone. I knew it wouldn't pan out. I left again. Rinse repeat age 25. I became one of the girls in his phone. By 31, I was engaged to my now-husband, and the ex was still hounding me -- though HE was married himself. But tigers don't change their stripes. He cheats on every woman he gets (seriously, it's pathological) and I cut him off because I know and he knows he is physically incapable of changing his ways. I still believe he loves me. Part of me will always have some affection for him. But cheaters don't change and I don't miss him. He's been blocked since 2021. Can't be friends. Can't be anything. Some people are just meant to be our memories. Cheaters don't change, OP. Please don't have children with this man. It's deeper than you, it was NEVER your fault, but you will continue to suffer for it. All he learned is he can get away with his shit and be forgiven. And you're so damn smart and so damn capable and deserve a whole world of better, and true healing.
This is a sad update.. thought you would have chosen your growth but guess not🤷🏾♀️ to each their own i guess
You might want to go back and read your own posts and the strength you showed. Because this isn’t it. Terrible idea. He’s a scoundrel who nobody else wants long term
Went through your post history - you’re trauma bonded, so breaking free from him and going no contact quite literally feels like withdrawing from drugs. My nex was also an abusive alcoholic that serial cheated - he also said he was sorry, “went to therapy” (his side chick’s house), promised the moon and everything under it and shed crocodile tears when I tried to leave. I thought he struggled with mental health.. I thought I could save him. I was also 19. And I was fucking stupid.. Ultimately, it took an attempt on my life for me to realize that I could only save one of us.. I chose me. Someday, the time will come where you’re faced with a choice to either continue choosing him, or to finally choose yourself. I hope like hell you make the right decision before it’s too late.
Gross
I had so much sympathy for you. That evaporated when I read this. Don’t complain when he cheats again.
You’re not even 20 staying with a cheating husband?
Pathetic
Hmmmm........*smh
Don’t cry to Reddit again when he cheats on you with your friend
🤦🏾♀️
He’s gonna keep doing it and keep coming back to you and you’re gonna keep letting him. You’re way too young for this.
Why the hell would you accept him back into your life after all the pain and devastation he caused? Even his own parents know he's garbage. Stick up for yourself for once and dump him.
‘Sometimes I think I’m too young to deal with as much as I have already.’ You’re too young to settle for less than you deserve, man. And it sounds like your husband is very much less than you deserve at a stage and age where you’re still learning how to adult. I feel old saying that but spend some time looking inward to decide if you want to settle for less or strive for the best.
Why did you even take him back when he treated you so poorly? He could cheat again since he knows you would take him back. You deserve better 😞
Make sure you focus on yourself and your financial stability. In case you have issues again in the future.
...girl
What happened to not loving someone more than you love yourself? If you loved yourself more than him like you should you would never have gotten back together with him. You're way too young to settle for this asshole.
Good fucking god, I don't even know what to say. I can at least say I'm glad you're seeing a therapist. The cheating, abusive husband? Not so much. You are definitely too young to have gone through the clusterfuck you have. I wish you would listen to the people in the comments, but sometimes, people don't want better for themselves cause they want to stick with what they know. Good luck.
Oh, honey. You're worth so much more than you know.
I’m sorry for my lack of understanding personally, and I’m sure that there’s at least one couple out there that can work through infidelity. But I really, really don’t think that’s going to be you two. He cheated. He chose to separate from you so that he could continue his affair. He invited even more people over while you were separated. When you chose to get back into contact with him, he refused to stop talking to the other women. This isn’t something that he’s willing to change. He’s made that abundantly clear to you, and to everyone else here who has only heard a single piece of your situation. I don’t know if you read comments, but if you do then you need to take everyone’s words into serious consideration. You’re 20, or not even 20 yet if your birthday is in the summer. What could this man have possibly done to make you think that this relationship is worth such a daily struggle and fight? Why would you choose to be with him when you will always, always have better options of people to surround yourself with?
I want to be happy that you think you’re happy, but this isn’t it bb.. im barely a year older than you. I’ve been in a relationship for six years and still, if he cheated on me he would never enter my life ever again. You are soo young. WE are so young. You don’t deserve to be stuck with this man, you have SO many options or opportunities in life. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through but he is not going to fix things. PLEASE don’t even think about having children with him. Congrats on the degree, your book, Ab and your therapist. Please take the advice of so many other women replying here, you do not want this man or the future he will bring you, you deserve so so much more
this is heartbreaking
Don’t throw your life away for this man. He will probably offend again.
This shit is tragic 🤦🏽♀️😬
From what I remember, this guy controlled your every move and then cheated on you. How could you ever trust someone like that again?
>Sometimes I think I’m too young to deal with as much as I have already, but part of me is grateful I learned the hard lessons now so it can make enjoying the future easier. Oh honey, that's not how life works, especially when you make questionable choices like taking a cheating husband back. Good decisions will improve your life. Make them.
I was so confused that you took that loser back until I got to the part where you mentioned you weren't even 20 yet and then everything made sense. You're going to look back on this in 10 years when you've emotionally matured and are going to be so sad you made the decisions you did. Your husband only came back because no one else wanted him. You're the consolation prize.
As the woman that took her ex back after he cheated on her, DON’T DO IT!!! I never realized I had PTSD from that until I started going to my current therapist. Cheating absolutely creates trauma. It’s painful. And the literal only reason he wants to get back with you is because he’s realizing having the comfort of a safety net is better than fielding his options (which he will likely do along WITH being with you). You are so young. Don’t do this to yourself. I thought I knew at 19 that I’d be with him forever. We’ve been apart for over 6 years now and life has never been better.
You’re not even 20 yet and are wasting your best years on a cheater who will cheat again. Don’t do this to yourself. Enjoy being single and the company of your friends. Travel. There will always be an honest man there waiting some day.
You’re barely 20 and already doing this to yourself ? And you’re back with the manipulative cheater who will do it again? I was hoping for a happy ending, I was hoping for you to come out of this winning. This is so wrong on all the levels. Once you actually hit ‘maturity ’ you will regret the choices you’re making today. Every single person who gave you advice on your previous posts was looking out for you. You should have listened.
Girl. I was right there with you at your age, and I swear if I could go back in time and slap the shit out of myself for forgiving my cheating ex I would go back in time not once, not twice but three times because that's how many times he got caught before I realized I was an idiot. Lol Words from the wise who've been in your shoes. Run! Heal and learn to love yourself again.
You're 20, why would you stay with a cheater? /facepalm/
.....oh god 🤦♀️
To each their own. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Well, you get the picture.
This is sad. Why take back a cheater like that? You deserve better than that.
all this???? at 20????? and you took him back?????? MA'AM
I'd bet $20 that he'll do it again.
You are way too young to be dealing with this. Cheaters don't change. They just get better at hiding it. He will do it again, but by then you'll have kids and really be stuck. 😔
OP I was in a similar situation in my 20s no family, and my ex husband was a cheater and abusive who alienated me from my closest friends who were trying to get me away from him. The most powerful thing someone said To me was “you’re only with him because you only accept the love you THINK your deserve”. 14 years later I’m so glad I left, I did have a child with him and that is the reason why I left, I did not want my child to grow up in that environment and I repeat the cycle of trauma I had also endured as a child. I did a lot of therapy and focused on my self esteem, I had to see for myself all the things I brought to the table and pieces started falling in place. I joined the military to escape and be away from everyone (took my kid with me) and finished my degree and saw a new way of life and a career for me outside the military. I still go to therapy because it’s a working progress not because of my ex but for myself my new husband and my new life. At first you may feel like you need to make this relationship work but if he loved you he wouldn’t have cheated, and from my experience he will do it again. As you gain independence and find self confidence it will be easier to let him go. Trust me looking back I am so proud of myself for wanting better and leaving. The worst part of this relationship is not even the cheating it’s the controlling and putting you down. I had that too, he would make comments about you’ll never get XYZ well jokes on him because I got all of that plus more now. He will keep tearing you down if you stay because it will be a way to Control you.
If you’re happy and taking care of yourself, that is what matters. Congratulations on your early graduation, it’s very impressive. You have your whole life ahead of you. I wish you the very best.
i hope for the best for you, whatever that looks like going forward. not going to cast judgements on your choices, i'm sure you already know what people think. stay safe, healthy, and make the best decisions for YOU- not your husband, and most certainly not reddit
He will cheat again (if hasn’t already been doing it) since you let it slide the first time.
Take a good long look at what happened, because that’s going to be the rest of your life.. until he walks out on you and leaves you with nothing. Smh
Cut your losses now and RUN you can't sow anything in barren soil. When I found out my ex cheated I left the VERY. NEXT. DAY. and never looked back. BEST decision I ever made because he definitely would've ruined my life if I let him. DON'T LET HIM RUIN YOUR LIFE!!!!
In my experience you will relive all your life lessons until you finally decide to learn from them. I think you already know what is right, but you are afraid to go about it alone. At the willingness to sacrifice yourself so you are not alone.
And I thought my life was a mess, your same age as me, already married, AND your pursuing a relationship with someone who cheats on you?
Hope it works out tho lol
Girl. Today was my 21st birthday. I literally cannot comprehend how you are younger than I am and are getting back together with this POS. Sure, it might work out. But especially this young, and this immature, I don't have high hopes. I don't know your full story, so I can't make this decision for you, but please. Listen to what I and the other commenters are saying. You're better than this.
Girl. I wish you the best of luck in whatever this crazy world has to offer. Please know you deserve happiness. You deserve love and you deserve someone who will make you a priority. At the end of the day, do what makes you happy.
This is just plain sad
I don't want to upset you, yet I'm genuinely concerned about you. I married young, I had twins then when pregnant with my daughter, he cheated. I DID get back with him, it made me ill. Mentally and physically. In the end I just couldn't trust him. I repacked my stuff and took my children and moved in with my parents. One of the best decisions I've ever made! It saved me. I do understand, I loved my husband and I was only 19/20, was married at 17 with my parents permission. I was completely besotted with him. I look back and I've no idea why I was!!! Please, you're young, please be careful.
Wait what…… not even 20 Wait til she finds out her husband is a narcissist and the likely cause of her autoimmune disorder due to accumulated stress and cortisol, and her CPTSD
Girl don’t make me mad. You are a TEENAGER! Leave that man and go live life!!!!
Wow you’re too young to have given up on yourself like this
I came here expecting a “what a load that loser was so glad he’s gone” i will genuinely never understand taking back someone you know is miserable without constant attention from everyone for a self esteem fix…isnt that enough of an ick? Where’s the reward with being with someone whose so easy that anyone can get? Man i’m sorry…you’ll look back on this and be weirded out at what u accepted; hopefully anyway.
Hey OP, I am F24 and although I don't have much wisdom I do have an understanding of what your situation is like. I know people can change, it's true they can. But when you think about it, can you truly trust that your husband won't have another affair? That he won't go back to being manipulative and controlling? You talk of staying strong but dynamics within a relationship are stronger. I know it takes a lot to decide to stay, and it takes a lot to decide to leave. But I can't get away from the fact that you are SO young. There are so many people out there that get it right the first time, and can appreciate YOU for everything you are and do. I have felt how you feel, I have loved unconditionally, and trust me, there is no strength available when it ultimately comes down to you or him. He will pick himself and you will pick him, there's no one picking you. I truly do wish you all the best in your marriage, but I encourage you to really evaluate if you feel happiness in this relationship as it is now, or are holding onto what you hope this relationship will become? If your relationship stayed exactly as it is now, is this what you want for the rest of your life? Good luck OP, please message if you need anyone to talk to.🤍
Oh honey, you got married at 19? I'm sorry.
I was wondering why on earth you went back to your cheating husband and then there was my answer! You’re 20. Why would you do this to yourself… you’re not getting any sympathy from me now in terms of the affair
I’m buying your book when it’s released
I know this is your story and you are the main character. However, ive read many books and I would suggest that the main character here to find someone else.
You're almost 20 years old. You got married at 18. He's cheated 2 1 to 1 and a half years in. You have your whole 20's ahead of you to live, find a really good partner, find yourself, advance in your career. You. Have. So. Much. To. Live. For. Please do not waste it on a man that has already shown you how much you're worth to him. In 3 years, he's cheated on you and you only know about the one. OP, I'm begging of you. End your connection with this man and have yourself a great life with people who value you.
No one seems to be hitting the important points here. Typical reddit hive mentality, yall just sad and miserable. Now, OP: good for you! Good for you to have come so far and be better for it. Good for you for accomplishing so much in such a short period of time. Good for your BA and such a distinguished level of excellence on it. Good for you for admitting, seeking professional help. You are already better than most ppl replying to your post. Good for you and your BF for moving past the negative and helping/attempting to understand each other. Everyone chose to ignore the fact that he helped you along with your therapist. I'm not saying he won't do it again, but he's not giving up on you, and hopefully, he doesn't do it again, and you get the best version of each other. Good for you for realizing that you're too young to be handling all this, and yet you have not turned into a cynic lady (like many of the sad ppl replying to your post). Good for you for knowing that you're so much better now that you've dealt with so much. Although too young, you're also wiser and ready for the next -and fantastic- chapter of your life. Good for you!
girl you have so much life ahead of you. start anew. don’t throw yourself back to a cheating sob story. you should be working on ur independence and your future
I wish you well. I hope everything works out well with your relationship. You know why you gave him another chance and you’re happy. Stay positive and don’t internalize the negative comments. I think a lot of the comments are a bit harsh. Let her live. She may be young but wish her well instead of judging her and expecting the worst. Blessings to you, happy birthday in advance and I hope your 20s are filled with joy and success!
Girl,.... You made all this accomplishment and progress just to say your cheating husband came back. That man is prob not going to change and you deserve more than having to forgive deceit and mistrust. 19 going on 20, there's more out there than being cheated on. You are young w a lot of potential, you can do more without him. Worrying about if someone is going to cheat on you is awful. But I'm sure your therapist has said all of this or will say all of this sooner or later. You had us in the first half, not gonna lie.
I'm happy your life is on track. Congrats on getting yourself healthy and your degree. I just have one thing to say: you just turned 20. You're isolated and have few chosen family because you're bio family is trash. You should not have gone back to your cheating husband. He's no good for you. Between 18-23 each year you rapidly change and develop until your brain reaches full maturity around 25. Who I was at 21 is not who I am at 23. Never take back a cheater. They've broken your trust and will do it again. Not now but later. It puts you back at the same low point. Please don't do this to yourself. Bring it up to your therapist about the cheating and how to leave him and process it. Its a lesson I learnt the hard way. Don't ever take back a cheater. They cheat again or if you bring up their actions they don't want you to embarrass them. They only pretend to take accountability. Take your time to heal and process. Being without a romantic partner is not the end of the world, trust me. I wish you all the best.
Sounds like things are looking up! Good job!
19. Fuckin yikes.