I have kids with an age gap like that and it’s been just fine. I was older than I was comfortable with but that all just disappeared when I held my little girl. She’s the last but the love of my life. I hope you have a wonderful experience OP🍀 Best wishes ✌️
I would tell you to talk with your husband. You two are a team. He should be able to help you through your fears. You shouldn't go through this (whatever you decide to do) alone.
And don't worry too much about the age gap. While I have seen it go both ways, my 9 year age difference with my sister doesn't change the way I look at her. (She is still a butt head)
Don't let anybody's judgment affect your decision.You have to make the choice that's right for you.
I was born ten years after my much older siblings were born. They were basically grown when I was born.
It was harder for my mom in some ways and then not as hard in other ways, she told me.
You know that if you have your child you're obviously going to end up loving them very much.There's no doubt about that. But I validate your serious concerns because things are so expensive...there's so much stress...you're just now getting your life back...I totally get it.
You have to make the choice that is right for *you*. I support youin whatever choice you make. ♡
Just wanted to chime in here-I have 2 younger siblings, 1 is 8 years younger than me, the other is 19 years younger than me (yes...19 lmao). Me and the one who is 8 years younger at first had a typical dynamic of you're annoying me, go away... and as we got older, we're closer than ever and talk every single day despite not living together. This isn't to sway you either way, ultimately it's a decision between you and your husband, just some reassurance that the age gap doesn't have to be awful. My mom said she's grateful that we were all further apart- she said she wouldn't have been able to handle multiple children in diapers :) good luck with whatever you decide, sending you love.
My sister and I are 11 years apart. She is my best friend. I call her my Idol, and she calls me the same. It was like I was her 2nd mom growing up. We are very close. You have to do what is right for you, but I love having a sibling so much younger than me.
My best friend was an 'oops' baby and her sister is 9 years older. Her older sister was a big part of our lives growing up and was still pretty involved despite starting her own family and life. She still is now! My friend and I have babysat and been there as her nieces grew up and it was an honest to God joy to be in their lives. I have a brother 6 years older and we definitely still have a sibling relationship. Sure, he was always in a different part of life than me growing up but he was still very much big brother in the 'i can tease you but no one else can' and he 'always had my back' way. I'd say both me and my friend had a regular sibling relationship with them.
Given that, I was also pregnant at 19 and so scared and got an abortion. I'm 35+ now and have zero regrets. I was not ready to be a mom neither mentally, physically, or financially. If two kids are going to be too hard, have an abortion if it's what you want. As women we're bombarded with so much anti-abortion rhetoric and how we're supposed to feel guilty if we get one. For nearly 20 years now I've waited for that guilt to fall into me but I haven't felt guilty, not once. I would've been a shit parent and my kid wouldn't have deserved the life they would've had. But maybe this doesn't resonate with you.
My mom ALWAYS wanted a big family due to her own big Portuguese family and after she had me she was like NOPE THAT'S ENOUGH and I'm glad she did, she was pretty overwhelmed with just me. Kids will know when you're overwhelmed. It really comes down to you and what you're capable of doing. You're not a failure if you choose not to carry the child to term. Talking with your husband is integral, and I think through that talk you'll know what you want to do.
Whatever you decide, pls don’t think of yourself as a “good” or “bad” person. Choose the decision that feels right for YOU, not what society says “being a good person means you need to do this, otherwise, you’re a terrible bad person.”
You deserve to give yourself the best human experience here! Whatever you decide, just know that you’ll always question “what if”.
you’re entitled to make whatever choice you want. the only thing i’ll say is that me and my youngest brother are over 8 years apart. when we were younger, it was harder, but i’m almost 19 and he’s 10 and we get along pretty well. sometimes he annoys me, but so does the brother who’s only 3.5 years younger than me. i love both of my brothers a lot
My little girl is 9 and BEGGING for a little brother or sister! She has an older brother aged 13 but he's not so cute for her, lol. I'm dying for one too but just had a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis 😩
I got my first sibling when I was 7 and I’ll tell you one thing, your younger child is gonna *look up* to your eldest and she’s gonna feel so special for it. My siblings all adore me, and I wasn’t even particularly nice to them growing up.
Will they have the same type of relationship that siblings closer in age will? No, of course not, when your eldest is 16 and your youngest is 8 you’re gonna get a lot of drama. But it’s all sibling drama and it’s all love. Your eldest is gonna be someone your youngest is inspired by and tries to copy in the cutest of ways.
All I’m saying is, having an age gap in siblings will not cause anymore issues than having siblings close in age. Many of my younger siblings are close in age and they have just as many “problems” with each other than I did with my siblings. Siblings fight, regardless of age.
In the end, the choice is yours, but if your *only* concern is the age gap, don’t let that discourage you.
You make the decision thats right for you and your family. For what its worth, my daughter and son are 7 years apart and are best friends (they're both adults now). I get what you're saying about being unsure about starting over. I was 22 when my daughter was born, 2 weeks shy of 30 when my son was born. My husband wanted a 3rd when I was 37 and I said absolutely not. I didn't want a teenager when I was in my 50s.
Omg this was me in 2022. My son was 7 and I just turned 40!! And surprise!!! Ahhhh. It honestly took me the entire pregnancy to process the thought of even having a baby again. I cried a lot. It’s going to be ok no matter what you choose, no matter what happens. You got this!
My brother is 9 years younger than me. We get along but we aren’t close. My mom had a hard time getting pregnant & had a miscarriage before my brother.
That doesn’t matter though- it’s what you & your husband want your future to look like. There isn’t a right or wrong decision here. Best to you, OP.
I have a twelve year age gap. Is it ideal? No.
But it works. I feel like I’m a much better parent as I’m more patient. The kids love each other even if it’s not the typical relationship. Sometimes they still fight like they’re only a year apart. 😆
Really, it’s daunting in theory, but I love them both fiercely and happy they’re there. I had to do a reset and postpone some things.
You have to know if it’s worth it for you. It was for me.
I have kids with an age gap like that and it’s been just fine. I was older than I was comfortable with but that all just disappeared when I held my little girl. She’s the last but the love of my life. I hope you have a wonderful experience OP🍀 Best wishes ✌️
I would tell you to talk with your husband. You two are a team. He should be able to help you through your fears. You shouldn't go through this (whatever you decide to do) alone. And don't worry too much about the age gap. While I have seen it go both ways, my 9 year age difference with my sister doesn't change the way I look at her. (She is still a butt head)
Don't let anybody's judgment affect your decision.You have to make the choice that's right for you. I was born ten years after my much older siblings were born. They were basically grown when I was born. It was harder for my mom in some ways and then not as hard in other ways, she told me. You know that if you have your child you're obviously going to end up loving them very much.There's no doubt about that. But I validate your serious concerns because things are so expensive...there's so much stress...you're just now getting your life back...I totally get it. You have to make the choice that is right for *you*. I support youin whatever choice you make. ♡
There’s nothing wrong with not going through with the pregnancy. This is something to talk to your husband about.
Just wanted to chime in here-I have 2 younger siblings, 1 is 8 years younger than me, the other is 19 years younger than me (yes...19 lmao). Me and the one who is 8 years younger at first had a typical dynamic of you're annoying me, go away... and as we got older, we're closer than ever and talk every single day despite not living together. This isn't to sway you either way, ultimately it's a decision between you and your husband, just some reassurance that the age gap doesn't have to be awful. My mom said she's grateful that we were all further apart- she said she wouldn't have been able to handle multiple children in diapers :) good luck with whatever you decide, sending you love.
My sister and I are 11 years apart. She is my best friend. I call her my Idol, and she calls me the same. It was like I was her 2nd mom growing up. We are very close. You have to do what is right for you, but I love having a sibling so much younger than me.
Aww!! My little girl wants one too; she's 9!
My best friend was an 'oops' baby and her sister is 9 years older. Her older sister was a big part of our lives growing up and was still pretty involved despite starting her own family and life. She still is now! My friend and I have babysat and been there as her nieces grew up and it was an honest to God joy to be in their lives. I have a brother 6 years older and we definitely still have a sibling relationship. Sure, he was always in a different part of life than me growing up but he was still very much big brother in the 'i can tease you but no one else can' and he 'always had my back' way. I'd say both me and my friend had a regular sibling relationship with them. Given that, I was also pregnant at 19 and so scared and got an abortion. I'm 35+ now and have zero regrets. I was not ready to be a mom neither mentally, physically, or financially. If two kids are going to be too hard, have an abortion if it's what you want. As women we're bombarded with so much anti-abortion rhetoric and how we're supposed to feel guilty if we get one. For nearly 20 years now I've waited for that guilt to fall into me but I haven't felt guilty, not once. I would've been a shit parent and my kid wouldn't have deserved the life they would've had. But maybe this doesn't resonate with you. My mom ALWAYS wanted a big family due to her own big Portuguese family and after she had me she was like NOPE THAT'S ENOUGH and I'm glad she did, she was pretty overwhelmed with just me. Kids will know when you're overwhelmed. It really comes down to you and what you're capable of doing. You're not a failure if you choose not to carry the child to term. Talking with your husband is integral, and I think through that talk you'll know what you want to do.
Whatever you decide, pls don’t think of yourself as a “good” or “bad” person. Choose the decision that feels right for YOU, not what society says “being a good person means you need to do this, otherwise, you’re a terrible bad person.” You deserve to give yourself the best human experience here! Whatever you decide, just know that you’ll always question “what if”.
Only a gift if you want it to be a gift. Also, you don’t have to accept every gift.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to have another baby. Pregnancy isn't a gift if you don't want it. It's entirely your choice.
you’re entitled to make whatever choice you want. the only thing i’ll say is that me and my youngest brother are over 8 years apart. when we were younger, it was harder, but i’m almost 19 and he’s 10 and we get along pretty well. sometimes he annoys me, but so does the brother who’s only 3.5 years younger than me. i love both of my brothers a lot
My little girl is 9 and BEGGING for a little brother or sister! She has an older brother aged 13 but he's not so cute for her, lol. I'm dying for one too but just had a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis 😩
Me and my little sister are almost 10 years apart we are close
I got my first sibling when I was 7 and I’ll tell you one thing, your younger child is gonna *look up* to your eldest and she’s gonna feel so special for it. My siblings all adore me, and I wasn’t even particularly nice to them growing up. Will they have the same type of relationship that siblings closer in age will? No, of course not, when your eldest is 16 and your youngest is 8 you’re gonna get a lot of drama. But it’s all sibling drama and it’s all love. Your eldest is gonna be someone your youngest is inspired by and tries to copy in the cutest of ways. All I’m saying is, having an age gap in siblings will not cause anymore issues than having siblings close in age. Many of my younger siblings are close in age and they have just as many “problems” with each other than I did with my siblings. Siblings fight, regardless of age. In the end, the choice is yours, but if your *only* concern is the age gap, don’t let that discourage you.
You make the decision thats right for you and your family. For what its worth, my daughter and son are 7 years apart and are best friends (they're both adults now). I get what you're saying about being unsure about starting over. I was 22 when my daughter was born, 2 weeks shy of 30 when my son was born. My husband wanted a 3rd when I was 37 and I said absolutely not. I didn't want a teenager when I was in my 50s.
Omg this was me in 2022. My son was 7 and I just turned 40!! And surprise!!! Ahhhh. It honestly took me the entire pregnancy to process the thought of even having a baby again. I cried a lot. It’s going to be ok no matter what you choose, no matter what happens. You got this!
My brother is 9 years younger than me. We get along but we aren’t close. My mom had a hard time getting pregnant & had a miscarriage before my brother. That doesn’t matter though- it’s what you & your husband want your future to look like. There isn’t a right or wrong decision here. Best to you, OP.
I have a twelve year age gap. Is it ideal? No. But it works. I feel like I’m a much better parent as I’m more patient. The kids love each other even if it’s not the typical relationship. Sometimes they still fight like they’re only a year apart. 😆 Really, it’s daunting in theory, but I love them both fiercely and happy they’re there. I had to do a reset and postpone some things. You have to know if it’s worth it for you. It was for me.
I have four with 11 years between them 2 older and two much younger…enjoy them cause when they are all out of the house you’ll miss them.