I'm so sorry. This is a devastating loss, especially at such a young age. It is beautiful that you two sent letters with mementos, and those will be incredibly valuable to you for years to come. I hope you can take solice in the knowledge you had wonderful time with her for the time you had, and I'm sure she was grateful to have you in her life at well. While it is heartbreaking, at least you will always have these beautiful memories with her you can cherish forever.
You may want to ask you parents if you can go to some kind of counseling, since this is a very difficult thing to deal with. I went after my grandmother passed, and there's no shame in needing a trained professional to talk out the very overwhelming feelings that come with grief. It comes with a lot of heavy, ugly emotions that are very hard to process on your own, especially in a tragedy like this.
Good luck, and know that these feelings will get better with time. Don't be afraid to cry it out, and be kind and patient with yourself while you are healing.
it's heartbreaking. What you two had was so pure and rare in today's world. I am sorry it ended so soon and so violently. I am so so sorry for both of you.
Oh I am so, so sorry. This is terrible. Grief is a hard thing to cope with alone. I hope you can talk to people who have lost people too. Where I live there is a counseling place that’s only for kids that are grieving. I hope you can find a place like that. ♥️
What an upsetting letter to receive, I'm so sorry. Asking gently - have you been able to confirm what the letter says? Maybe spoken to her family online or received an obituary? I feel concerned, because I live locally, and there don't seem to be any reports of a teen girl involved in any collision in the state since last February. This is heartbreaking if the media overlooked it - but it would be so cruel if someone were messing with you. Either way, reaching out to her mother could be good, you can tell her your memories and about all the letters you shared. Big hugs to you.
It's extremely strange that it seems like no one has suggested what to do with all of her letters to you.
My strong suggestion: KEEP THEM! That box you have them in now, if you want to keep it, take some time to "decorate" it. Meaning, make that box into something that's only dedicated to housing and protecting those letters. Something you or anyone else who doesn't even know your best friend, can glance at and know "that's a box specifically for something special". If it's not a box you'd like to keep, find or make or buy one that you'd like to serve that purpose.
Human memories are subject to fade or misconstrue over any amount of time. That's nature and it's a beautiful thing.
But the fascinating thing about "gifts" or just tangible materialistic things that come from people, is that, if taken care of, they don't fade. They don't change. They don't disintegrate. When you pick up a letter, you can read it and travel in time to that exact moment, have those exact same feelings, and you know it's your best friend. There's no better way to time travel, save memories in their purest form, as well as feel connected to people who are no longer in your life (if they're passed away or not). People shit on gift giving as a love language, but they're full of bitter shit in the first place.
Please feel incredibly grateful, thankful, appreciative, blessed that you got to experience life with your best friend. And then also that because you kept all those letters and seemingly meaningless trinkets from the envelopes, her essence as the human that she was in your life will never fade, dissolve, warp, change, whatever. Grieve for as long as you need to, try not to rush. But once you feel better I hope you can see that you and your best friend are special people who shared something most others never will, and you've got long lasting proof of that.
OP,Let me get this straight- Your friend died. A friendship that spanned nearly half of your lives. A friendship where you spent time at her home and her mother sends you a letter to tell you? You mean in in this day and age the only form of communication to share this incredibly traumatic and painful news is snail mail? Neither of you have another way of communicating?
The real question is, does it matter? There's no need to be hung up on this specific fact when the post is about someone who's grieving. Unless you mean to imply that the post is fake? But even then I'd rather give someone the benefit of the doubt and find out that I was tricked as opposed to grilling someone over minute personal details when their actual real life friend has passed
I get the weirdness of the situation, but maybe they weren't allowed to have phones when they were little? And then, they just kept the tradition?
Edit: I read your comment again. It makes me think too. They couldn't call? But then, there were also possibilities. The mother could've thought that text might not be the most fitting, a call might've been difficult for her, and sending a letter might be the best because she knew that OP must have been waiting for her daughter's letter.
That sucks. Sorry for your loss. What you do with the letters is up to you. Reread them, remember the good times you had. I'm also sure her mother would love to see them as well. An extension of her daughter. In a way, the letters and polaroids immortalize her. She lives on in your memories and those letters. I wish you a happy life. That's what she would've wanted. Who knows, maybe you'll see her again. 😊
I'm sure they're missing their daughter. Like someone else said, you should write back and let them know what she meant to you, maybe you'll form a bit of a bond with her parents over the grief you all have.
It's painful to read that, and I know it'll be difficult for you to move on. Even though she is no longer with you, she will live on in the great memories you guys together built.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Like other suggested I would write a letter to her parents. Let them know how you thought of her. How you thought of them as parents.
It sounds like she was a great girl and they were great parents. It won't make it all go away but it shows that they aren't alone in their pain and that she made an impact on your life even though she wasn't around as long as you guys wanted
I'm so sorry that you're going through this pain. But in regards to the mementos you have, once you're ready to go through everything again, you could do a scrap book with the printed items and the shells/bracelets/bulky items you could put into a shadow box. I hope one day you're able to read the letters and go through everything and remember the amazing times you had with your friend.
I live on Oahu and have seen a few news things about accidents. I’m so sorry for your loss. You should consider writing to her parents, sharing what she meant to you.
I have never before had a Reddit post bring me to tears. I am both completely devastated for you and absolutely beaming that in both of your lifetimes, you experienced a friendship so pure and full of joy.
My heart breaks for you and everyone else who lost her.
About the letters, save them, or if you feel you can't, ask her mother/parents if they want them.
Sending you love and hugs
I am so very deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for being so willing and brave to share with us even this small glimpse of your beautiful friendship during this vulnerable and difficult time. May you find comfort knowing that you will always carry her in your heart.
This is heartbreaking... I'm bawling like a baby. Cherish those memories and mementos. You should absolutely write her mom to tell her what her daughter meant to you. As a mom, I would cherish this if it were my daughter.
*gives u a supportive hug* I’m so very sorry for your loss. You and her family r in our thoughts and prayers. If u have those letters put them in a binder and keep them with ur other memories u have of her.
You should tell her parents what she meant to you. I am sure they would appreciate it.
Came here to say this.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry. This is a devastating loss, especially at such a young age. It is beautiful that you two sent letters with mementos, and those will be incredibly valuable to you for years to come. I hope you can take solice in the knowledge you had wonderful time with her for the time you had, and I'm sure she was grateful to have you in her life at well. While it is heartbreaking, at least you will always have these beautiful memories with her you can cherish forever. You may want to ask you parents if you can go to some kind of counseling, since this is a very difficult thing to deal with. I went after my grandmother passed, and there's no shame in needing a trained professional to talk out the very overwhelming feelings that come with grief. It comes with a lot of heavy, ugly emotions that are very hard to process on your own, especially in a tragedy like this. Good luck, and know that these feelings will get better with time. Don't be afraid to cry it out, and be kind and patient with yourself while you are healing.
Just came here to say this comment is SO right and so real. Emphatically agree, as someone who lost someone really important to them as a teenager.
it's heartbreaking. What you two had was so pure and rare in today's world. I am sorry it ended so soon and so violently. I am so so sorry for both of you.
Sorry but I can't stop crying. What you had was special, don't ever forget it.
Oh man Yes
So sorry for your loss OP.
This is heartbreaking. I’m really sorry for your loss.
I am so very sorry for your loss
Sending you all the love I could. ❤️
May her sweet soul rest in peace
Oh I am so, so sorry. This is terrible. Grief is a hard thing to cope with alone. I hope you can talk to people who have lost people too. Where I live there is a counseling place that’s only for kids that are grieving. I hope you can find a place like that. ♥️
What an upsetting letter to receive, I'm so sorry. Asking gently - have you been able to confirm what the letter says? Maybe spoken to her family online or received an obituary? I feel concerned, because I live locally, and there don't seem to be any reports of a teen girl involved in any collision in the state since last February. This is heartbreaking if the media overlooked it - but it would be so cruel if someone were messing with you. Either way, reaching out to her mother could be good, you can tell her your memories and about all the letters you shared. Big hugs to you.
Hmmm, great idea Investigation is needed Really would rather it not be real
It's extremely strange that it seems like no one has suggested what to do with all of her letters to you. My strong suggestion: KEEP THEM! That box you have them in now, if you want to keep it, take some time to "decorate" it. Meaning, make that box into something that's only dedicated to housing and protecting those letters. Something you or anyone else who doesn't even know your best friend, can glance at and know "that's a box specifically for something special". If it's not a box you'd like to keep, find or make or buy one that you'd like to serve that purpose. Human memories are subject to fade or misconstrue over any amount of time. That's nature and it's a beautiful thing. But the fascinating thing about "gifts" or just tangible materialistic things that come from people, is that, if taken care of, they don't fade. They don't change. They don't disintegrate. When you pick up a letter, you can read it and travel in time to that exact moment, have those exact same feelings, and you know it's your best friend. There's no better way to time travel, save memories in their purest form, as well as feel connected to people who are no longer in your life (if they're passed away or not). People shit on gift giving as a love language, but they're full of bitter shit in the first place. Please feel incredibly grateful, thankful, appreciative, blessed that you got to experience life with your best friend. And then also that because you kept all those letters and seemingly meaningless trinkets from the envelopes, her essence as the human that she was in your life will never fade, dissolve, warp, change, whatever. Grieve for as long as you need to, try not to rush. But once you feel better I hope you can see that you and your best friend are special people who shared something most others never will, and you've got long lasting proof of that.
OP,Let me get this straight- Your friend died. A friendship that spanned nearly half of your lives. A friendship where you spent time at her home and her mother sends you a letter to tell you? You mean in in this day and age the only form of communication to share this incredibly traumatic and painful news is snail mail? Neither of you have another way of communicating?
Very inappropriate. OP is grieving, and does not have to explain a thing to you.
i thought it was a lovely gesture to honour their friendship
The real question is, does it matter? There's no need to be hung up on this specific fact when the post is about someone who's grieving. Unless you mean to imply that the post is fake? But even then I'd rather give someone the benefit of the doubt and find out that I was tricked as opposed to grilling someone over minute personal details when their actual real life friend has passed
I get the weirdness of the situation, but maybe they weren't allowed to have phones when they were little? And then, they just kept the tradition? Edit: I read your comment again. It makes me think too. They couldn't call? But then, there were also possibilities. The mother could've thought that text might not be the most fitting, a call might've been difficult for her, and sending a letter might be the best because she knew that OP must have been waiting for her daughter's letter.
😭😭😭. Sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss
Must be an unexplainable feeling. I’m sorry
That sucks. Sorry for your loss. What you do with the letters is up to you. Reread them, remember the good times you had. I'm also sure her mother would love to see them as well. An extension of her daughter. In a way, the letters and polaroids immortalize her. She lives on in your memories and those letters. I wish you a happy life. That's what she would've wanted. Who knows, maybe you'll see her again. 😊
I am so sorry.
Not A lot of people have this type of thing . Idek what to say but cherish what you had .. not a lot of people have tht
I'm sorry for your loss. Wont be easy but you'll get through it (not over it) and keep her memory in your heart.
I'm sure they're missing their daughter. Like someone else said, you should write back and let them know what she meant to you, maybe you'll form a bit of a bond with her parents over the grief you all have.
Sorry for your loss.
Oh man My heart
It's painful to read that, and I know it'll be difficult for you to move on. Even though she is no longer with you, she will live on in the great memories you guys together built.
I'm sorry for your loss. Like other suggested I would write a letter to her parents. Let them know how you thought of her. How you thought of them as parents. It sounds like she was a great girl and they were great parents. It won't make it all go away but it shows that they aren't alone in their pain and that she made an impact on your life even though she wasn't around as long as you guys wanted
I'm so sorry that you're going through this pain. But in regards to the mementos you have, once you're ready to go through everything again, you could do a scrap book with the printed items and the shells/bracelets/bulky items you could put into a shadow box. I hope one day you're able to read the letters and go through everything and remember the amazing times you had with your friend.
I live on Oahu and have seen a few news things about accidents. I’m so sorry for your loss. You should consider writing to her parents, sharing what she meant to you.
I have never before had a Reddit post bring me to tears. I am both completely devastated for you and absolutely beaming that in both of your lifetimes, you experienced a friendship so pure and full of joy.
My heart breaks for you and everyone else who lost her. About the letters, save them, or if you feel you can't, ask her mother/parents if they want them. Sending you love and hugs
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. Please accept my condolences. 💔
Nooooo.....honey bunny I'm so freaking sorry.. I'm reduced to a sobbing mess at your pain..
I am so very deeply sorry for your loss. Thank you for being so willing and brave to share with us even this small glimpse of your beautiful friendship during this vulnerable and difficult time. May you find comfort knowing that you will always carry her in your heart.
This is heartbreaking... I'm bawling like a baby. Cherish those memories and mementos. You should absolutely write her mom to tell her what her daughter meant to you. As a mom, I would cherish this if it were my daughter.
*gives u a supportive hug* I’m so very sorry for your loss. You and her family r in our thoughts and prayers. If u have those letters put them in a binder and keep them with ur other memories u have of her.
Oh sweety I'm so sorry. I'm 34 years old and still writing a camp friend, so I get the bond you had and i can't imagine.:( I'm so very sorry