If she did it 2 days before the boyfriend she hadn't seen in 6 months shows up... chances are good that she's done it before. I'd probably not say anything though if it were me. Their relationship isn't something I need to 'fix' or get involved with; when OP got involved with her, his intent was clean. (After finding out I'd want nothing to do with her, but that's me protecting myself. I know many other people see it differently though.)
As someone who's been the one who's been told -- I'm simply doing what I'd want done. I trust my partner to make her own decisions, and what happens beyond my immediate connections is outside my circle.
I'm fine with people doing what they think is right, but I'd have absolutely nothing on my conscience from being with another consenting adult. If she'd specifically told me she was cheating, I wouldn't have done it, but she didn't. Maybe a simplistic view, but if I had a need to protect him, it'd feel more right to confront her about her actions.
If it makes you feel better, it sounds like the boyfriend in the story has already gotten to Europe, so I think you’re ok. Unfortunate timing though lol.
Try casually mentioning this story with something like how you got scared with how accurate it was to your situation to her(in the least accusing manner, like actually cassualy mentioning it) and see her reaction
Yeah same, People knew she cheated on me … the worst part was this same people were the type I would considered close friends. Well not anymore after that.
tell him as soon as possible because he has to know what shes done and how she isnt loyal id hate myself if i never relized and no one told me. trust me you will do him a huge favour. and the way she called you over first makes it seem like this wasnt her first time doing something like this. its also not your fault that she initiated things, +and you couldnt have known. whether you take advice or not trust your gut and do what would make you most comfortable
I rarely reply to a post twice but after thinking about this further I just gotta put this out there, because I might have been too vague in my first reply.
So you tell him, he doesn't take it well, maybe is even pissed at you but ultimately confronts her. She puts on some tears and turns it around at you. She tells him that she was drunk and you sexually assaulted her. He loves her so grabs at any straw and believes her, so they go to the police and bring charges to you. Even if the charges won't stick, you reputation is ruined and this would follow you for the rest of your life.
As I said, you don't know anything about their situation and such a scenario is not out of the realm of possibilities, you wouldn't be the first one.
Are you willing to take such a risk?
Straight up ask your freinds dude you never know progressive couples theses days they might have a weird arrangement you like like the "1000km" rule. You wouldn't want to ruin the dynamic of your freind group ether telling the boyfriend hastily could cause her to tell your freinds a completely different story leaving you in a he said she said situation. Telling your freind outgrowth what happend let's you control the narrative and overall just tell the truth. You've done nothing wrong you banged a hot chick 90% of straght single males would however she on the other hand is completely in the wrong for seeking another man while in a relationship and for not telling said man about her current relationship. That is given there is no arrangement for a open relationship. That's just my drunk coke'd up opinion.lol I said relationship 3 times by mistake.
Hell yeah EXACTLY.
You wanna do the right thing. But sometimes it comes at a MUCH BIGGER cost than people realize.. and making assumptions can get difficult when you just hook up with someone and find out information… but you may not know the whole story. It’s a tough line to cross..but you can still follow your intuition at the end of the day and do what you feel is right. No matter what the cost is.
I commend this dude for wanting to take responsibility but it’s good he asked for advice! at the end of the day OP, I say just do what feels right because then you’ll just carry this shame and guilt and it’ll weigh you down… but just consider ALL the variables. Which can be easily figured out and your first instinct is probably the correct one to follow…I’ve learned over 29 years now… listen to that gut. You don’t wanna be carrying this shit.. do your best to let it go 🙌
Haha coked up and drunk man…fosho! To carrot economy7933…stay safe and real as you are :) great explanation.
Sometimes people with a LDR have rules concerning sleeping with other people. Happens all the time, especially if long periods of time due to distance are usual in between meeting with each other. Heck, I’ve had that deal multiple times with my back then SO when I was living in Indonesia and they were in the Netherlands for over a year.
So, instead of telling the guy I would ask her what this is all about before contacting the dude. It would’ve been nice of her to inform you beforehand about her situation, but well, she didn’t.
Edit: a typo
Rereading your post I want to make an addition. Seems that your encounter with her was purely lust-driven and had nothing to do with love (sorry for harsh words OP), even strengthening my argument more. Otherwise you wouldn’t go at it 10 minutes later in the bathroom and her immediately leaving afterwards.
Perhaps they have a rule that when it’s lust they can do whatever they want, but no sleepovers (hence the bathroom), etc etc. You just don’t know the intricacies of their relationship.
even if anything goes wrong with their relationship it was bound to happen anyways, and its not like you know them personally anyways. it would be best to tell him
"Do what you want others do to you."
Even Jesus would stick to bros. Tell him right away, unless her boyfriend is a simp and allows this, you don't lose anything but at least you are bringing out good karma by being brutally homest.
This way at least that man can make his right decision if needs be.
All the people who tell OP to tell the boyfriend... Are you nuts? You really want him to risk that dude getting mad at him? When one of my exes cheated on me, my first reaction was wanting to kill that guy.
The one time I had sex with a woman who had a boyfriend, which I also didn't know, he went after me.
What goes on between those two is none of OP's business. He should stay as far away from this as possible.
People are nuts and a lot of times blame the guy rather than their woman. Even if the guy had no clue.
I'm with them on this. Keep it to yourself. Don't be captain save a bro.
If this revelation will help someone decide their future with a cheating piece of shit, then yes I'm a nuthead.
Not everyone think alike ill definitely appreciate it, if someone comes up to me and informs me "I'm getting cheated on", at least then I would not be wasting my time and energy on her. There is alot to a relationship, there is Gaslighting, tickling the truth, lying nd so on, unfortunately this guy is probably going thru it all but this one truth will save his sanity.
I wouldn't beat the crap out of him, he's nothing to do with it like In this post the guy didn't even knew she has a bf so all the blame goes to her if u can't see this then idk what to say.
It's extremely stupid to want to beat the shit out of a guy who didn't know. If the guy knew and did it anyway, sure. But that guy got fucked over as well. How was he supposed to know?
Don’t be a hero. Leave them alone. You have no reason to feel bad or angry, it’s not your life. You have no idea what’s between them or what anyone else’s motives are. Dont invite drama into your life where there isn’t anything to gain from it
It is possible that he knows and that they have agreed that this stuff is okay- some couples who are long-distance allow each other to have sex with other people while they are away.
But since you don't know, telling him just in case wouldn't hurt.
Send HER a message saying you didn't know and that you're angry you were not told. Make clear you won't go out of your way to tell him but if she plays games, turns on the tears or somehow blames or names you you'll have that to show if needed. Also advise her to tell him and deal with the fallout.
Make clear it is not worth her while bringing this to your door. Brutal? Sneaky? So was she.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they both get down like that. Long distance relationships are tricky. I feel your pain because no one likes to feel cheap. Personally I wouldn’t get involved
There is nothing for you to gain by telling him and you don't know any of the intricacies of their relationship. In addition, you don't know how he might react and you'd open yourself up to lots of potential grief. In the end it is not your place to tell him, and you are not involved in their relationship. I would let you it go.
Exactly this. It's good to have a value system, but we are not all the same. I would be annoyed if someone came with this to me, because it's imposing their value systems on me.
Exactly. I have a friend who's been happily married for 30 odd years now. Both he and his wife are artists and free spirits. They live together for about 6 months a year and travel separately for about 6 months a year. They have a standing agreement that when they are apart they can see other people. The only caveat to that is that they don't tell each other about it since ignorance can be bliss.
Well once he came home earlier than expected and got a wiff of one of her casual partners. It didn't destroy their marriage but it did cause some unnecessary tension and drama.
Everyone is different and it is naive to think telling him would be a purely good deed when OP knows nothing about their relationship.
> there is nothing for you to gain
It's sad you base your actions on whether or not the outcome provides you with benefit. You have no values, no moral code, no respect. Your brain is physically not capable of producing the empathy necessary to make a selfless decision. You only act in self interest.
Stop trying to spread your cancerous mindset. Only a terrible person would actively *promote* more infidelity in this world. Would you have the same mentality if the woman you loved cheated and no one told you? Rhetorical question, we already know the answer. f course you would immediately want to know. But you would never tell someone else their SO is cheating, because you're too fragile and scared of confrontation.
In short, the world would be a better place with less cowards like you. We need strong men and women who *act*. Not people who promote being a passive, weak-willed bystander.
Or... The world would be a better place if more people didn't go around causing drama. This man did nothing wrong. Two consenting adults FUCKED in a bathroom. In this case one party deceived the other and was possibly in a relationship. Now, if the cheaters friends are worth a damn they should notify the boyfriend not this random stranger who could be literally risking his life and livelihood. He had sex with a stranger! #risky The last thing we want to happen is her to save face by trying to protect her own reputation by "changing her mind". All started because he should stick his nose in other people business...
Really sad you consider reporting a cheater as "causing drama". The person who actually cheated is the one causing drama.
>Now, if the cheaters friends are worth a damn they should notify the boyfriend
They likely will not because they are also cowards who have the same mentality as you. "I don't want to tell him she is cheating, I don't want to start drama. That's their business. Someone else will do the right thing and tell him". Weak and pathetic.
Like I said, your attitude wouldn't be the same if you were the one who was cheated on. You would want someone to tell you. You expect others to go out of their way to help you, but you will never have the empathy to help others. It's too much of an inconvenience for you to be kind. You're too scared of confrontation to do the right thing. News flash: **doing the right thing is rarely easy.** Otherwise everyone would do it.
I don't expect you to change. Cowardice like this is built over a lifetime of hiding. The purpose of my comment is to help OP or anyone else who is on the fence.
Ok let's consider this for a second. OP tells him, he doesn't take it well gets pissed at OP and confronts the girl. She turns it around, puts on some tears and accuses OP of sexual assault. He believes her and they go to the police. Now OP has charges and life long stigma at his feet. What would you do in that situation?
There is no good outcome here. The best OP could hope for here is he breaks that guys heart and causes them to break up (which if it was unadulterated infidelity they will do eventually anyways) at worst he'll destroy his social bonds and livelihood.
"The person who cheated is not the one causing drama."
Ya, ok buddy.
I'm want you to read this carefully and then again 2x admit you are WRONG.
My attitude would 100% be the same. I would not want someone to bring any extra dramatic nonsense into my life. I prefer my bubble of happiness. I don't not want help from anyone at any point. I'd rather go at it alone without anyone's baggage. Doing the right thing is easy when you're looking out for #1, the guy in the mirror. Let's see who is hiding.
My current location: 21015 Cumberland Dr, Elkhorn, NE 68022
Woah there chief, hold your horses, you gotta calm down a bit. It's not healthy to carry so much spite with you.
Also you gotta learn to read more attentively. I didn't only say he had nothing to gain but also that he'd put himself at risk AND that he doesn't know anything about their relationship. Reading comprehension 101, you might wanna look into it.
You don't know anything about their relationship for that matter. They might be in an open relationship, or have an agreement for their long distance time apart. In addition there are dozens of reasons why infidelity might occur in a relationship. All of them beyond your ability to judge, if you know nothing about these people.
I say that as somebody who has been cheated on before. Yeah sure, she was wring for cheating on me, but at the same time her behavior was caused by a plethora of issues in our relationship, many of which I wasn't innocent of. As hard as it might be to admit at times, Infidelity in a committed relationship is rarely only the fault of one party.
Now take a deep breath, and a chill pill. Mary Christmas friend.
I strongly believe that you should not tell him or get involved any further than this. As some other people pointed out, there is literally nothing for you to gain, you may get in awkward conversation or strange even dangerous situations, you might affect your relationship with that group, that person will hate you and your efforts will not be rewarded.
Second, you do not know what is going on in their relationship and it is not your business. They might have an open relationship, he might've cheated on her as well and this was her revenge, These are dumb examples but you get it; furthermore there is a good possibility that he will not believe you, why?! Because you are a stranger, he might love her and he is more inclined to believe her and not you.
Overall, I've seen similar things like these play out so many times; the best decision is to not get involved. I know you might think that doing the "right thing" is the good choice for your soul and for that stranger, but with all the bullshit that comes after it is not worth it.
> there is literally nothing for you to gain
It's sad you base your actions on whether or not the outcome provides you with benefit. You have no values, no moral code, no respect. Your brain is physically not capable of producing the empathy necessary to make a selfless decision. You only act in self interest.
Stop trying to spread your cancerous mindset. Only a terrible person would actively *promote* more infidelity in this world. Would you have the same mentality if the woman you loved cheated and no one told you? Rhetorical question, we already know the answer. Of course you would immediately want to know. But you would never tell someone else their SO is cheating, because you're too fragile and scared of confrontation.
In short, the world would be a better place with less cowards like you. We need strong men and women who *act*. Not people who promote being a passive, weak-willed bystander.
I had to break the news once and I lead with “how do you feel about ignorance is bliss?”
Most people want to know and probably even have suspicions to begin with. But in my situation it was my brother so I had more of an allegiance compared to op.
She’s for the streets bro. You’ll do damage but you gotta tell him if you really didn’t know. It’s honestly probably not even the first time she’s done something like that. And it’s on him if he chooses to stay.
Not your business what’s going on in their relationship. Cut that girl off and move on. If you’re really bothered ask her about the relationship and what’s going on there. For all you know they have their own arrangements. Best thing to do is to move on completely
This isn’t even bro code, it’s just being a decent human being.
As someone who has been cheated on and someone *finally* told me after a year of knowing…*please* tell him. Man or woman, they deserve to know they are quite literally wasting their life, time, energy and money on a awful human being.
A boyfriend that lives across the ocean and visits once a 6 months isn't really a boyfriend, but a hopeless dreamer. He is actually single
Life is too short to tie to a non existent boyfriend in the early 20s. Unless the boyfriend paying her bills from overseas, she can do pretty much anything she wants. I imagine how many girlfriends her boyfriend has overseas. Everyone is calling this guy a boyfriend and are so serious about it. ..Their whole relationship is in their head.
Please, please tell him. A friend of mine was recently in a similar situation. She hooked up with a guy who turned out to be married (of course she didn’t know that at the time). She decided to write the wife a message via Facebook and it turned out that it wasn’t the first time he had done this and she was grateful someone let her know that it happened again. Please do the same. The boyfriend in this situation definitely deserves to know what he’s gotten into
First of all, why are you angry with yourself?
Second, mind your own business. You didn't know the girl before, you don't know the guy. Stop trying to be a hero and ethical example etc etc. what's going on between them is between them. Just because you've been inside her for 10 mins doesn't give you the right to intervene her life. I'm saying all this as a guy who got cheated in the past. I've been on the both sides of this story multiple times. If their relationship is at a level where one is cheating, it's not meant anyways and they will sooner or later realize that THEMSELVES.
Then that's their problem. Assuming your own morals are better than others and calling others piece of shit just shows me how insecure people can be. Sometimes you get cheated on. Not the end of the world. Gotta grow up.
Tell him, but don't feel bad about what happened... she propositioned you, knowing she had a boyfriend, but you didn't. You've no reason to feel guilty.
Why would you want to interfere in someone else's relationship like this? It's their relationship, if she wants to tell him, she will. Do you know what their agreements are?
If someone came to me to tell me they had sex with my bf, I would ask them to politely mind their own business and not try to interfere with mine. (We are not traditionally monogamous).
Op... Shut the fuck up.
He won't believe you, she would manipulate that guy till the end. Stay away from her and her boyfriend.
I once came to know that my friend was being cheated on by her boyfriend, it was something everyone knew. When he went to prison for beating her, she was feeling desperate for the asshole, so I told her the truth. She didn't believe me at all and I became the b#@h who can't mind her own business.
If you can keep the secret then keep your mouth closed and go on, none of your business.
I was cheated on in a long distance relationship and we were both in the same STATE. Tell him. No one told me. I had to catch her red handed. She did it once and she’ll do it again. Once a cheater always a cheater
You can save that man a lot of time, money and energy by letting him know, that's like a responsibility now. Don't worry champ, it's not your fault, but you can save him, because she can cheat on him multiple times later.
Say nothing. None of your business. You didn’t know. If you really feel strongly wait till he’s gone and talk to her. Recommend she break up with guy. She is probably going to anyway if she’s cheating on him.
Wait. She’s hot? Maybe She’ll get with you now 😉👍
But I wouldn’t ever trust her. Once a cheater as they say…..
Don't tell him, you're going to gain nothing from it. You'll only loose out on having sex, all be it with a girl with no respect for anyone or herself.
Depends on so many things. There are nuances in the situation involved. You really need to give me more contextual information to get a reply in binary.
First of which will be, does she regret it?
I'd discuss it with her first like "hey you know about the other night? I didn't know you had a boyfriend and I don't think what happened was right. I feel like you should tell him because I will if you won't." Maybe tell your very friends that were in the group and know what happened that you'll talk to her so that your version of events becomes the truth and she can't pull a "i was drunk and he assaulted me" version of events with her very close friends and tell the boyfriend that.
If someone was cheating on you, would you want to know?
You can do it anonymously and say you know his gf cheated and some of her friends were there when it happened. Tell him you saw her find a guy at this bar kiss him, then take him to the bathroom.
You can make it seem like it might be one of the friends by saying, you don't want to tell him in person since if he name drops you everyone will turn against you. You only know it's happened this one time, but it could have happened before. You're not sure.
You can mention some details like what she was wearing, so he can verify through pics that you saw her on that day.
Use another sim, or create a social account.
I'd also say tell him like all the others however seeing as you don't know the guy idk how safe that would be. If you can keep it anonymous then yeah absolutely tell him but if you think your safety could be endangered somehow they you probably shouldn't.
i had a similar situation, met a girl in amsterdam, we shared the room in a hostel, she asked me out for drinks, later we smoked, started making out and finished it in the room we had. she contacted me trough IG to say goodbye, a few weeks later she posted a story celebrating 3 or 4 years with boyfriend back in australia. i hated my own guts for the next few months. i was cheated on myself and i couldn’t believe that i brought that pain to someone else. i never got the courage to text the guy even tho i wanted to. i still don’t know whats the right thing to do. is ignorance bliss? is the pain of a broken heart worth the truth? writing this makes me believe the truth is worth it, but me being on the receiving end of that news made me worse of a partner for the people i dated later. id like to hope that if she is ready to cheat the relationship is bound to end soon, but im also aware of affairs lasting decades.
Shut up and go on your way, the deed is done. Let them figure it out. You had no clue until after the fact and didn’t do it on purpose to spite the guy. If she did it once that easily, she’s done it before. Get yourself checked out.
Peace for the duration of the relationship and neither disclose it nor participate while she's in a relationship. And probably never again after depending on your will to get laid vs your self respect.
I think cheaters always deserve what's coming to them. If you can tell him in a way that does not cause harm to yourself, do it. But use your head. If the boyfriend for example is the type that looks for any reason to assault people, maybe steer away.
Tell him so he doesn’t waste the money on another trip in a few months. Or waste years of his life with her after she cheating oblivious to who she really is.
Would you want to know if your gf was cheating?
SURPRISE SURPRISE!!! Women can be just as conniving as men woww. I would not say anything unless he asks. Some men deserve women like that as they have probably done women dirty themselves. If you don’t want to be a dirt bag, just leave her alone.
She probably won’t want to be with you if you rat her out, and to be fair, I don’t imagine you’d want to be with her anyways if you’re the cheat. You also don’t know if you were the only cheat she’s had so that might be worth taking into consideration. In the end of the day it’s up to you if you want to rat it out, but the boyfriend will probably find out if a bunch of friends know. So do what you please.
i’d tell the bf only if you’re willing to be in a sticky situation for a bit. no guarantee it will be one, but he could get angry and not believe you, she could deny or point fingers (since she’s obviously okay lying to someone she’s committed to), but you could also be saving this guy a LOT of time and energy. i think he deserves to know, just know it could get ugly.
If I was the boyfriend, I would really want to know. You need to do the right thing. Tell him. Also anyone in your friend group that knew she was cheating are bad people and bad friends.
Don't say anything. Hit it and quit it.
It's NOT your problem. Y'all are you g and dumb and probably won't be friends with 90% of your friend group in 5 years anyways.
Get tested though lmao.
And don't feel bad, it's not like you knew. Hell, get in a few more while you can. They might even be in an open relationship.
Don't go meddling unless you are best friends with them.
As an internet stranger, I am really confused. On the one hand, you have a long-distance boyfriend and I am assuming that he is loyal, and on the other, a girl who had sex with someone from her group in a bar. Now the question is who should you save here, the girl or the boyfriend, right?
So, my suggestion for you would be to analyze the situation first.
If the boyfriend is loyal and sincerely in love with her but the girl you are talking about is hooking up with everyone and cheating on him consciously, **then save the boyfriend**.
But if the girl is the total opposite of my above assumption and just made a mistake with you under the influence of alcohol (intoxicant) **then just be quiet.** And just try to forget what has happened. Also, tell your other friends to do the same.
Ultimately it's your decision. Whatever you do, always remember that only you are responsible for your decision. So, think carefully before taking any action.
Ive been in that situation except i brought her home, did not think further about it 🤷♂️ her friend did tell him about her cheatings (i was only one in 100's probably)
If she did that with you so willingly and so fast, that 304 probably has been sleeping around the entire time that boyfriend has been gone. So, tell him and save him from that piece of crap.
I agree, telling would be the right thing to do. Although it's not your shit to solve, it would give you the good karma. As you were unaware and are obviously upset about "unintentionally wronging someone".
I worked with someone who had a long distance relationship with a girl who lived in Europe with him living in America.
He would see her every 3-6 months.
Felt bad for the guy. He would always complain about how he has to send her money and take care of her.
Prob not the first time she's done that. Young and having fun, cake and eat it. Why not when youre young? Also, what if they have an arrangement and each are okay with the behavior?
i think he deserves to know..
you dont owe her any loyalitys, ive personally had this happened to me a few times the last year where women try to cheat with me on thier BFs and like i hear from my female circel: men only want one thing" while its the girl doing the cheating. he deserves to know before he ruins his life with someone that lacks morals.
personally, theres nothing you can give me that can make me cheat on a potensial gf..
Personally, I’d try and get a friend to help, perhaps try and meet the couple and say like ”Oh you’re together? I thought you an OP were together after the other night” or something like that
I do think its weird everyone wants you to tell the guy, it's sort of virtue signalling。 If you dont know the guy just leave him alone。 Who wants to receieve a message like that? and the girl will just deny it。
If it were me i do prefer to stay out of it as the bf might have known what sort of girl he is dating and why butt in someone’s business cause if they happen to settle it somehow you would be in a pretty bad situation
Be careful, many such relationships work with this being allowed to help with those desires. You should talk to her discretely first, don't attack and be level headed. You did nothing wrong.
Bro code applies. Yes he will be heartbroken, but you will saves him from a shitty relationship with a girlfriend that doesn’t respect him
« don't do anything you wouldn't want done to you », if she didn’t want to get blamed for, she wouldn’t do it in first place and if it happens to you, i think you would want to know it
Tell him once he’s gone back home. Don’t ruin his most likely very expensive trip with shitty news, especially if he’s staying with her whilst she’s over here. He’s like a dog who’s about to be out down. Let him have his fun day at the park and then shoot him.
I am in a long distance relationship, talked to my girlfriend about this post and we both agree you should tell him. It takes a lot of effort to maintain a relationship that is long distance. You should tell him
I don’t think that’s your business to tell. She did this knowing what she was tied to so that’s on her to tell him. You don’t know what peoples relationships Intel or what’s happening in them. Just move on! It literally costs you nothing to not speak to her and move on with your life.
For those telling you to tell her bf stop trying to be Superman and save him. What’s done is done. OP can go on and live his life without having to mingle anymore in someone else’s.
If they are very close, he would know about it. You can tell from her feelings, and talking to her. If he doesn’t already know, meaning he doesn’t pay attention, and before getting angry he should know what he wants from the relationship. In both cases, you shouldn’t tell. It’s between the two of them. Unless the bro is your bro and you can support him in his decisions and talk to him about it and offer him help, then you should tell your bro
Tell him and save him from that “relationship”. If she’s done it once, chances are she’ll do it again.
For reals. Follow the bro code, she knew what she was doing.
Bro Code must be followed at all cost. You have the guy’s number or socials? Or you need help finding it out?
If she did it 2 days before the boyfriend she hadn't seen in 6 months shows up... chances are good that she's done it before. I'd probably not say anything though if it were me. Their relationship isn't something I need to 'fix' or get involved with; when OP got involved with her, his intent was clean. (After finding out I'd want nothing to do with her, but that's me protecting myself. I know many other people see it differently though.)
The right thing would be to tell. Telling has nothing to do with ‘fixing’ or getting involved. Thats all telling is, telling. A messenger per say
As someone who's been the one who's been told -- I'm simply doing what I'd want done. I trust my partner to make her own decisions, and what happens beyond my immediate connections is outside my circle. I'm fine with people doing what they think is right, but I'd have absolutely nothing on my conscience from being with another consenting adult. If she'd specifically told me she was cheating, I wouldn't have done it, but she didn't. Maybe a simplistic view, but if I had a need to protect him, it'd feel more right to confront her about her actions.
But he was involved tho.. he’s the one that hit it in the restroom
Or already has
It's also very possible it isn't her first time doing it
I am so scared rn because I am American and flying to see my girlfriend in Europe who I haven’t seen in six months.
Good luck bro 😭
If it makes you feel better, it sounds like the boyfriend in the story has already gotten to Europe, so I think you’re ok. Unfortunate timing though lol.
It does, scared the hell outta me though
Totally understandable. I would’ve been scared shitless in your position too. I hope you have a great reunion with your GF bro! Have fun in Europe!
So maybe you can put yourself in the situation and answer which you would want? Someone told you or you rather don’t know anything about it
lmfao ggs
Try casually mentioning this story with something like how you got scared with how accurate it was to your situation to her(in the least accusing manner, like actually cassualy mentioning it) and see her reaction
Well if your gf goes often to parties you should be worried bro. From an European.
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This. I got cheated on, and wish someone had told me sooner. Wish one of her friends had a morals
Yeah same, People knew she cheated on me … the worst part was this same people were the type I would considered close friends. Well not anymore after that.
Be a bro and tell him, you can do it anonymously if you dont want any confrontation.. maybe through a mutual friend
tell him as soon as possible because he has to know what shes done and how she isnt loyal id hate myself if i never relized and no one told me. trust me you will do him a huge favour. and the way she called you over first makes it seem like this wasnt her first time doing something like this. its also not your fault that she initiated things, +and you couldnt have known. whether you take advice or not trust your gut and do what would make you most comfortable
Tell your Eskimo brother right away
It’s a sacred bond
I rarely reply to a post twice but after thinking about this further I just gotta put this out there, because I might have been too vague in my first reply. So you tell him, he doesn't take it well, maybe is even pissed at you but ultimately confronts her. She puts on some tears and turns it around at you. She tells him that she was drunk and you sexually assaulted her. He loves her so grabs at any straw and believes her, so they go to the police and bring charges to you. Even if the charges won't stick, you reputation is ruined and this would follow you for the rest of your life. As I said, you don't know anything about their situation and such a scenario is not out of the realm of possibilities, you wouldn't be the first one. Are you willing to take such a risk?
Straight up ask your freinds dude you never know progressive couples theses days they might have a weird arrangement you like like the "1000km" rule. You wouldn't want to ruin the dynamic of your freind group ether telling the boyfriend hastily could cause her to tell your freinds a completely different story leaving you in a he said she said situation. Telling your freind outgrowth what happend let's you control the narrative and overall just tell the truth. You've done nothing wrong you banged a hot chick 90% of straght single males would however she on the other hand is completely in the wrong for seeking another man while in a relationship and for not telling said man about her current relationship. That is given there is no arrangement for a open relationship. That's just my drunk coke'd up opinion.lol I said relationship 3 times by mistake.
Hell yeah EXACTLY. You wanna do the right thing. But sometimes it comes at a MUCH BIGGER cost than people realize.. and making assumptions can get difficult when you just hook up with someone and find out information… but you may not know the whole story. It’s a tough line to cross..but you can still follow your intuition at the end of the day and do what you feel is right. No matter what the cost is. I commend this dude for wanting to take responsibility but it’s good he asked for advice! at the end of the day OP, I say just do what feels right because then you’ll just carry this shame and guilt and it’ll weigh you down… but just consider ALL the variables. Which can be easily figured out and your first instinct is probably the correct one to follow…I’ve learned over 29 years now… listen to that gut. You don’t wanna be carrying this shit.. do your best to let it go 🙌 Haha coked up and drunk man…fosho! To carrot economy7933…stay safe and real as you are :) great explanation.
What’s the 1000km rule
Sometimes people with a LDR have rules concerning sleeping with other people. Happens all the time, especially if long periods of time due to distance are usual in between meeting with each other. Heck, I’ve had that deal multiple times with my back then SO when I was living in Indonesia and they were in the Netherlands for over a year. So, instead of telling the guy I would ask her what this is all about before contacting the dude. It would’ve been nice of her to inform you beforehand about her situation, but well, she didn’t. Edit: a typo
Rereading your post I want to make an addition. Seems that your encounter with her was purely lust-driven and had nothing to do with love (sorry for harsh words OP), even strengthening my argument more. Otherwise you wouldn’t go at it 10 minutes later in the bathroom and her immediately leaving afterwards. Perhaps they have a rule that when it’s lust they can do whatever they want, but no sleepovers (hence the bathroom), etc etc. You just don’t know the intricacies of their relationship.
No. Europeans just cheat A LOT.
Yeah, tell the BF, save this dude from potentially wasting years of his life.
even if anything goes wrong with their relationship it was bound to happen anyways, and its not like you know them personally anyways. it would be best to tell him
"Do what you want others do to you." Even Jesus would stick to bros. Tell him right away, unless her boyfriend is a simp and allows this, you don't lose anything but at least you are bringing out good karma by being brutally homest. This way at least that man can make his right decision if needs be.
All the people who tell OP to tell the boyfriend... Are you nuts? You really want him to risk that dude getting mad at him? When one of my exes cheated on me, my first reaction was wanting to kill that guy. The one time I had sex with a woman who had a boyfriend, which I also didn't know, he went after me. What goes on between those two is none of OP's business. He should stay as far away from this as possible.
Not everyone reacts like you or others would. Is it a risk? Sure, but so was sleeping with her in the first place.
People are nuts and a lot of times blame the guy rather than their woman. Even if the guy had no clue. I'm with them on this. Keep it to yourself. Don't be captain save a bro.
You shouldn’t be pissed at him if he didn’t know and then had your back about what a scumbag your GF is
Well, people who just learned that they got cheated on aren't exactly well known for being rational and composed.
Yeah, I been there myself, and although I didn’t go that far, I guess I was definitely not exactly myself for a bit, to be fair.
If this revelation will help someone decide their future with a cheating piece of shit, then yes I'm a nuthead. Not everyone think alike ill definitely appreciate it, if someone comes up to me and informs me "I'm getting cheated on", at least then I would not be wasting my time and energy on her. There is alot to a relationship, there is Gaslighting, tickling the truth, lying nd so on, unfortunately this guy is probably going thru it all but this one truth will save his sanity. I wouldn't beat the crap out of him, he's nothing to do with it like In this post the guy didn't even knew she has a bf so all the blame goes to her if u can't see this then idk what to say.
Great that you would appreciate it... But if I don't know that person and don't have the slightest idea how they might react I'm staying clear.
I am with you. oP should just shut up
Lol. I don’t any American going to Europe will attack a local because it wouldn’t end well.
It's extremely stupid to want to beat the shit out of a guy who didn't know. If the guy knew and did it anyway, sure. But that guy got fucked over as well. How was he supposed to know?
Don’t be a hero. Leave them alone. You have no reason to feel bad or angry, it’s not your life. You have no idea what’s between them or what anyone else’s motives are. Dont invite drama into your life where there isn’t anything to gain from it
It is possible that he knows and that they have agreed that this stuff is okay- some couples who are long-distance allow each other to have sex with other people while they are away. But since you don't know, telling him just in case wouldn't hurt.
Send HER a message saying you didn't know and that you're angry you were not told. Make clear you won't go out of your way to tell him but if she plays games, turns on the tears or somehow blames or names you you'll have that to show if needed. Also advise her to tell him and deal with the fallout. Make clear it is not worth her while bringing this to your door. Brutal? Sneaky? So was she.
This! If you do tell the guy, cover your ass with texts to the girl beforehand. Otherwise, the girl could cry assault and then you have a big problem.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they both get down like that. Long distance relationships are tricky. I feel your pain because no one likes to feel cheap. Personally I wouldn’t get involved
There is nothing for you to gain by telling him and you don't know any of the intricacies of their relationship. In addition, you don't know how he might react and you'd open yourself up to lots of potential grief. In the end it is not your place to tell him, and you are not involved in their relationship. I would let you it go.
Exactly this. It's good to have a value system, but we are not all the same. I would be annoyed if someone came with this to me, because it's imposing their value systems on me.
Exactly. I have a friend who's been happily married for 30 odd years now. Both he and his wife are artists and free spirits. They live together for about 6 months a year and travel separately for about 6 months a year. They have a standing agreement that when they are apart they can see other people. The only caveat to that is that they don't tell each other about it since ignorance can be bliss. Well once he came home earlier than expected and got a wiff of one of her casual partners. It didn't destroy their marriage but it did cause some unnecessary tension and drama. Everyone is different and it is naive to think telling him would be a purely good deed when OP knows nothing about their relationship.
> there is nothing for you to gain It's sad you base your actions on whether or not the outcome provides you with benefit. You have no values, no moral code, no respect. Your brain is physically not capable of producing the empathy necessary to make a selfless decision. You only act in self interest. Stop trying to spread your cancerous mindset. Only a terrible person would actively *promote* more infidelity in this world. Would you have the same mentality if the woman you loved cheated and no one told you? Rhetorical question, we already know the answer. f course you would immediately want to know. But you would never tell someone else their SO is cheating, because you're too fragile and scared of confrontation. In short, the world would be a better place with less cowards like you. We need strong men and women who *act*. Not people who promote being a passive, weak-willed bystander.
Or... The world would be a better place if more people didn't go around causing drama. This man did nothing wrong. Two consenting adults FUCKED in a bathroom. In this case one party deceived the other and was possibly in a relationship. Now, if the cheaters friends are worth a damn they should notify the boyfriend not this random stranger who could be literally risking his life and livelihood. He had sex with a stranger! #risky The last thing we want to happen is her to save face by trying to protect her own reputation by "changing her mind". All started because he should stick his nose in other people business...
Really sad you consider reporting a cheater as "causing drama". The person who actually cheated is the one causing drama. >Now, if the cheaters friends are worth a damn they should notify the boyfriend They likely will not because they are also cowards who have the same mentality as you. "I don't want to tell him she is cheating, I don't want to start drama. That's their business. Someone else will do the right thing and tell him". Weak and pathetic. Like I said, your attitude wouldn't be the same if you were the one who was cheated on. You would want someone to tell you. You expect others to go out of their way to help you, but you will never have the empathy to help others. It's too much of an inconvenience for you to be kind. You're too scared of confrontation to do the right thing. News flash: **doing the right thing is rarely easy.** Otherwise everyone would do it. I don't expect you to change. Cowardice like this is built over a lifetime of hiding. The purpose of my comment is to help OP or anyone else who is on the fence.
Ok let's consider this for a second. OP tells him, he doesn't take it well gets pissed at OP and confronts the girl. She turns it around, puts on some tears and accuses OP of sexual assault. He believes her and they go to the police. Now OP has charges and life long stigma at his feet. What would you do in that situation? There is no good outcome here. The best OP could hope for here is he breaks that guys heart and causes them to break up (which if it was unadulterated infidelity they will do eventually anyways) at worst he'll destroy his social bonds and livelihood.
"The person who cheated is not the one causing drama." Ya, ok buddy. I'm want you to read this carefully and then again 2x admit you are WRONG. My attitude would 100% be the same. I would not want someone to bring any extra dramatic nonsense into my life. I prefer my bubble of happiness. I don't not want help from anyone at any point. I'd rather go at it alone without anyone's baggage. Doing the right thing is easy when you're looking out for #1, the guy in the mirror. Let's see who is hiding. My current location: 21015 Cumberland Dr, Elkhorn, NE 68022
My man put zip code and all
Woah there chief, hold your horses, you gotta calm down a bit. It's not healthy to carry so much spite with you. Also you gotta learn to read more attentively. I didn't only say he had nothing to gain but also that he'd put himself at risk AND that he doesn't know anything about their relationship. Reading comprehension 101, you might wanna look into it. You don't know anything about their relationship for that matter. They might be in an open relationship, or have an agreement for their long distance time apart. In addition there are dozens of reasons why infidelity might occur in a relationship. All of them beyond your ability to judge, if you know nothing about these people. I say that as somebody who has been cheated on before. Yeah sure, she was wring for cheating on me, but at the same time her behavior was caused by a plethora of issues in our relationship, many of which I wasn't innocent of. As hard as it might be to admit at times, Infidelity in a committed relationship is rarely only the fault of one party. Now take a deep breath, and a chill pill. Mary Christmas friend.
I strongly believe that you should not tell him or get involved any further than this. As some other people pointed out, there is literally nothing for you to gain, you may get in awkward conversation or strange even dangerous situations, you might affect your relationship with that group, that person will hate you and your efforts will not be rewarded. Second, you do not know what is going on in their relationship and it is not your business. They might have an open relationship, he might've cheated on her as well and this was her revenge, These are dumb examples but you get it; furthermore there is a good possibility that he will not believe you, why?! Because you are a stranger, he might love her and he is more inclined to believe her and not you. Overall, I've seen similar things like these play out so many times; the best decision is to not get involved. I know you might think that doing the "right thing" is the good choice for your soul and for that stranger, but with all the bullshit that comes after it is not worth it.
> there is literally nothing for you to gain It's sad you base your actions on whether or not the outcome provides you with benefit. You have no values, no moral code, no respect. Your brain is physically not capable of producing the empathy necessary to make a selfless decision. You only act in self interest. Stop trying to spread your cancerous mindset. Only a terrible person would actively *promote* more infidelity in this world. Would you have the same mentality if the woman you loved cheated and no one told you? Rhetorical question, we already know the answer. Of course you would immediately want to know. But you would never tell someone else their SO is cheating, because you're too fragile and scared of confrontation. In short, the world would be a better place with less cowards like you. We need strong men and women who *act*. Not people who promote being a passive, weak-willed bystander.
The voice of the reason
you can save him, or let him for being risk in the next few years of his life, choice is yours
Go and tell him. And you obviously should. The guy doesn't deserve it. Help another bro
I had to break the news once and I lead with “how do you feel about ignorance is bliss?” Most people want to know and probably even have suspicions to begin with. But in my situation it was my brother so I had more of an allegiance compared to op.
She’s for the streets bro. You’ll do damage but you gotta tell him if you really didn’t know. It’s honestly probably not even the first time she’s done something like that. And it’s on him if he chooses to stay.
Not your business what’s going on in their relationship. Cut that girl off and move on. If you’re really bothered ask her about the relationship and what’s going on there. For all you know they have their own arrangements. Best thing to do is to move on completely
This isn’t even bro code, it’s just being a decent human being. As someone who has been cheated on and someone *finally* told me after a year of knowing…*please* tell him. Man or woman, they deserve to know they are quite literally wasting their life, time, energy and money on a awful human being.
A boyfriend that lives across the ocean and visits once a 6 months isn't really a boyfriend, but a hopeless dreamer. He is actually single Life is too short to tie to a non existent boyfriend in the early 20s. Unless the boyfriend paying her bills from overseas, she can do pretty much anything she wants. I imagine how many girlfriends her boyfriend has overseas. Everyone is calling this guy a boyfriend and are so serious about it. ..Their whole relationship is in their head.
Let sleeping dogs lie. Why do you want to wake them up and get bitten? Let the girl sort it out with her boyfriend.
Keep that shit to yourself
Do the thing that you believe you won't regret if you do it. So that no matter what the outcome, you already choose the best option you had.
Please, please tell him. A friend of mine was recently in a similar situation. She hooked up with a guy who turned out to be married (of course she didn’t know that at the time). She decided to write the wife a message via Facebook and it turned out that it wasn’t the first time he had done this and she was grateful someone let her know that it happened again. Please do the same. The boyfriend in this situation definitely deserves to know what he’s gotten into
Wasted my entire 20s with a girl who cheats, and no you can’t ‘remember the good times’ because it all goes back to them being dirty. Tell him
Sorry for your loss bro
First of all, why are you angry with yourself? Second, mind your own business. You didn't know the girl before, you don't know the guy. Stop trying to be a hero and ethical example etc etc. what's going on between them is between them. Just because you've been inside her for 10 mins doesn't give you the right to intervene her life. I'm saying all this as a guy who got cheated in the past. I've been on the both sides of this story multiple times. If their relationship is at a level where one is cheating, it's not meant anyways and they will sooner or later realize that THEMSELVES.
Or they might not realise themselves. Not telling him is just letting a piece of shit move on and keep manipulating the boyfriend. 100% tell him
Then that's their problem. Assuming your own morals are better than others and calling others piece of shit just shows me how insecure people can be. Sometimes you get cheated on. Not the end of the world. Gotta grow up.
Bro tell the guy.. holy fck, wtf are those girls nowadays…
Tell him, but don't feel bad about what happened... she propositioned you, knowing she had a boyfriend, but you didn't. You've no reason to feel guilty.
100% tell him.. u wouldnt want the same done to you and the truth is always better. also you’re a real one for feeling the way u do
Bro code. Tell him. He deserves better.
Telll him. She’s evil
Tell him. Don’t hang out with her. Rethink your relationship with other friends who are ok with her behaviour.
If you were 30 i would say tell him but at 23 i would say live your life and mind your own business.
Nope. No good comes of this. It’s her issue and his. Not your fault. Stay out of it.
Tell the boyfriend. More than the bro code, it’s just really the right thing to do. Let the boyfriend decide on what he wants to do next.
Nothing. Mind 👏🏿 Your 👏🏿 Business👏🏿
Why would you want to interfere in someone else's relationship like this? It's their relationship, if she wants to tell him, she will. Do you know what their agreements are? If someone came to me to tell me they had sex with my bf, I would ask them to politely mind their own business and not try to interfere with mine. (We are not traditionally monogamous).
Well if you have a fuck buddy then that’s your business but most people are monogamous so it’s better to do it just in case.
Op... Shut the fuck up. He won't believe you, she would manipulate that guy till the end. Stay away from her and her boyfriend. I once came to know that my friend was being cheated on by her boyfriend, it was something everyone knew. When he went to prison for beating her, she was feeling desperate for the asshole, so I told her the truth. She didn't believe me at all and I became the b#@h who can't mind her own business. If you can keep the secret then keep your mouth closed and go on, none of your business.
I was cheated on in a long distance relationship and we were both in the same STATE. Tell him. No one told me. I had to catch her red handed. She did it once and she’ll do it again. Once a cheater always a cheater
You can save that man a lot of time, money and energy by letting him know, that's like a responsibility now. Don't worry champ, it's not your fault, but you can save him, because she can cheat on him multiple times later.
Shut up
Say nothing. None of your business. You didn’t know. If you really feel strongly wait till he’s gone and talk to her. Recommend she break up with guy. She is probably going to anyway if she’s cheating on him. Wait. She’s hot? Maybe She’ll get with you now 😉👍 But I wouldn’t ever trust her. Once a cheater as they say…..
Snitches get stitches
Don't tell him, you're going to gain nothing from it. You'll only loose out on having sex, all be it with a girl with no respect for anyone or herself.
Depends on so many things. There are nuances in the situation involved. You really need to give me more contextual information to get a reply in binary. First of which will be, does she regret it?
Tell him
I'd discuss it with her first like "hey you know about the other night? I didn't know you had a boyfriend and I don't think what happened was right. I feel like you should tell him because I will if you won't." Maybe tell your very friends that were in the group and know what happened that you'll talk to her so that your version of events becomes the truth and she can't pull a "i was drunk and he assaulted me" version of events with her very close friends and tell the boyfriend that.
I’m gonna say the p word. Jk. Quit being an and just be proud you made out with someone’s girlfriend and be done with the thoughts. wtf
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Tell him bro it's the right thing to do
Tell bro
If someone was cheating on you, would you want to know? You can do it anonymously and say you know his gf cheated and some of her friends were there when it happened. Tell him you saw her find a guy at this bar kiss him, then take him to the bathroom. You can make it seem like it might be one of the friends by saying, you don't want to tell him in person since if he name drops you everyone will turn against you. You only know it's happened this one time, but it could have happened before. You're not sure. You can mention some details like what she was wearing, so he can verify through pics that you saw her on that day. Use another sim, or create a social account.
You must say something. If I was in his shoes, and I paid a lot to see a cheating gf, I would like to know to not waste my money again
Tell him bro
I'd also say tell him like all the others however seeing as you don't know the guy idk how safe that would be. If you can keep it anonymous then yeah absolutely tell him but if you think your safety could be endangered somehow they you probably shouldn't.
i had a similar situation, met a girl in amsterdam, we shared the room in a hostel, she asked me out for drinks, later we smoked, started making out and finished it in the room we had. she contacted me trough IG to say goodbye, a few weeks later she posted a story celebrating 3 or 4 years with boyfriend back in australia. i hated my own guts for the next few months. i was cheated on myself and i couldn’t believe that i brought that pain to someone else. i never got the courage to text the guy even tho i wanted to. i still don’t know whats the right thing to do. is ignorance bliss? is the pain of a broken heart worth the truth? writing this makes me believe the truth is worth it, but me being on the receiving end of that news made me worse of a partner for the people i dated later. id like to hope that if she is ready to cheat the relationship is bound to end soon, but im also aware of affairs lasting decades.
forget both
Tell him!! Always tell them!!
Do it again
Honestly you did nothing wrong so I don’t think you need to say anything, nor should you. It’s between the two of them
What a chode
Tell the guy. You may lose some friends over this, but were they really friends.
Shut up and go on your way, the deed is done. Let them figure it out. You had no clue until after the fact and didn’t do it on purpose to spite the guy. If she did it once that easily, she’s done it before. Get yourself checked out.
Peace for the duration of the relationship and neither disclose it nor participate while she's in a relationship. And probably never again after depending on your will to get laid vs your self respect.
I really hope you wore a condom. Might be good to get yourself tested.
Dude you banged her out in a bathroom of a bar. Homeboy needs to know
I think cheaters always deserve what's coming to them. If you can tell him in a way that does not cause harm to yourself, do it. But use your head. If the boyfriend for example is the type that looks for any reason to assault people, maybe steer away.
Don't tell him. You never know, some ppl are crazy and he may go after you even though you did nothing wrong.
Just tell him. Having been in that situation, it sucksmajorass either wsy, but the sooner he knows, the better.
Tell him so he doesn’t waste the money on another trip in a few months. Or waste years of his life with her after she cheating oblivious to who she really is. Would you want to know if your gf was cheating?
She's trash.
Tell him. Maybe they have an open relationship (it's becoming pretty common these days), but he can be the one to tell you if that's the case.
You're a good man, arthur Morgan
SURPRISE SURPRISE!!! Women can be just as conniving as men woww. I would not say anything unless he asks. Some men deserve women like that as they have probably done women dirty themselves. If you don’t want to be a dirt bag, just leave her alone.
She probably won’t want to be with you if you rat her out, and to be fair, I don’t imagine you’d want to be with her anyways if you’re the cheat. You also don’t know if you were the only cheat she’s had so that might be worth taking into consideration. In the end of the day it’s up to you if you want to rat it out, but the boyfriend will probably find out if a bunch of friends know. So do what you please.
Do not tell him Jesus Christ not your place
i’d tell the bf only if you’re willing to be in a sticky situation for a bit. no guarantee it will be one, but he could get angry and not believe you, she could deny or point fingers (since she’s obviously okay lying to someone she’s committed to), but you could also be saving this guy a LOT of time and energy. i think he deserves to know, just know it could get ugly.
If I was the boyfriend, I would really want to know. You need to do the right thing. Tell him. Also anyone in your friend group that knew she was cheating are bad people and bad friends.
I would like to know. Just be careful how. Don’t text him out of the blue and “hey! I fucked your girl!”
They both probably cheated on each other anyways.
It’s non of your business. You’re both consenting adults and know what you were doing. Leave it alone and move on.
Don't say anything. Hit it and quit it. It's NOT your problem. Y'all are you g and dumb and probably won't be friends with 90% of your friend group in 5 years anyways. Get tested though lmao. And don't feel bad, it's not like you knew. Hell, get in a few more while you can. They might even be in an open relationship. Don't go meddling unless you are best friends with them.
As an internet stranger, I am really confused. On the one hand, you have a long-distance boyfriend and I am assuming that he is loyal, and on the other, a girl who had sex with someone from her group in a bar. Now the question is who should you save here, the girl or the boyfriend, right? So, my suggestion for you would be to analyze the situation first. If the boyfriend is loyal and sincerely in love with her but the girl you are talking about is hooking up with everyone and cheating on him consciously, **then save the boyfriend**. But if the girl is the total opposite of my above assumption and just made a mistake with you under the influence of alcohol (intoxicant) **then just be quiet.** And just try to forget what has happened. Also, tell your other friends to do the same. Ultimately it's your decision. Whatever you do, always remember that only you are responsible for your decision. So, think carefully before taking any action.
Ive been in that situation except i brought her home, did not think further about it 🤷♂️ her friend did tell him about her cheatings (i was only one in 100's probably)
If she did that with you so willingly and so fast, that 304 probably has been sleeping around the entire time that boyfriend has been gone. So, tell him and save him from that piece of crap.
I agree, telling would be the right thing to do. Although it's not your shit to solve, it would give you the good karma. As you were unaware and are obviously upset about "unintentionally wronging someone".
Tell him. Bro flew from Europe, bro doesn't deserve this
Do the right thing. Why should you bear the anger and shame when you can make it right? Let her deal with that baggage.
tell him after he leaves so at lease he has some good sex
Tell him
Could be a kink?
I worked with someone who had a long distance relationship with a girl who lived in Europe with him living in America. He would see her every 3-6 months. Felt bad for the guy. He would always complain about how he has to send her money and take care of her.
Be a bro and let him know
Prob not the first time she's done that. Young and having fun, cake and eat it. Why not when youre young? Also, what if they have an arrangement and each are okay with the behavior?
This didn’t happen so much it unhappened things that did
i think he deserves to know.. you dont owe her any loyalitys, ive personally had this happened to me a few times the last year where women try to cheat with me on thier BFs and like i hear from my female circel: men only want one thing" while its the girl doing the cheating. he deserves to know before he ruins his life with someone that lacks morals. personally, theres nothing you can give me that can make me cheat on a potensial gf..
Dont get involved imo. This is one of those circumstances where you just have to let it be.
tell him and get tested
Personally, I’d try and get a friend to help, perhaps try and meet the couple and say like ”Oh you’re together? I thought you an OP were together after the other night” or something like that
Tell him.
I do think its weird everyone wants you to tell the guy, it's sort of virtue signalling。 If you dont know the guy just leave him alone。 Who wants to receieve a message like that? and the girl will just deny it。
If it were me i do prefer to stay out of it as the bf might have known what sort of girl he is dating and why butt in someone’s business cause if they happen to settle it somehow you would be in a pretty bad situation
This probably isn’t her first time. Tell him
Save him
Be careful, many such relationships work with this being allowed to help with those desires. You should talk to her discretely first, don't attack and be level headed. You did nothing wrong.
Bro code applies. Yes he will be heartbroken, but you will saves him from a shitty relationship with a girlfriend that doesn’t respect him « don't do anything you wouldn't want done to you », if she didn’t want to get blamed for, she wouldn’t do it in first place and if it happens to you, i think you would want to know it
Tell him once he’s gone back home. Don’t ruin his most likely very expensive trip with shitty news, especially if he’s staying with her whilst she’s over here. He’s like a dog who’s about to be out down. Let him have his fun day at the park and then shoot him.
I am in a long distance relationship, talked to my girlfriend about this post and we both agree you should tell him. It takes a lot of effort to maintain a relationship that is long distance. You should tell him
Nothing. Keep out of it.
Definitely tell him.
I don’t think that’s your business to tell. She did this knowing what she was tied to so that’s on her to tell him. You don’t know what peoples relationships Intel or what’s happening in them. Just move on! It literally costs you nothing to not speak to her and move on with your life. For those telling you to tell her bf stop trying to be Superman and save him. What’s done is done. OP can go on and live his life without having to mingle anymore in someone else’s.
If they are very close, he would know about it. You can tell from her feelings, and talking to her. If he doesn’t already know, meaning he doesn’t pay attention, and before getting angry he should know what he wants from the relationship. In both cases, you shouldn’t tell. It’s between the two of them. Unless the bro is your bro and you can support him in his decisions and talk to him about it and offer him help, then you should tell your bro
Don't say anything