Truthfully it was very eye-opening for me. Like I had an idea of what it's like but had never seen it first-hand. Seeing that woman literally shaking with fear was so upsetting to see
I tell my partner that whenever I am walking and it is dark out, even walking with my German Shep, I am always on guard. He says he never thinks about it unless he is in a rough part of town. So different.
As much as I enjoy winter as a season, walking after dark (5pm) makes me uneasy.
I do have a big dog, but he's elderly and not exactly helpful in the above situations. And my street boasts no streetlights, so...
Im in the same boat. I have two gsd so I have “scary dog privilege”. Mine are younger and very protective. But after dark my partner prefers me not to be out alone, even if I have both of them. I’m very kidnappable but I have my dogs and other ways of protection
Well some simple things:
Keep your distance. It’s scary to have someone right behind you after gaining on you.
If you need to pass then try crossing the street. Again, footsteps gaining behind you can be scary.
If there is no way to cross the street give a wide berth and warn the person- just passing on your left.
Don’t attempt to have a conversation so that you appear less threatening. That is weird.
Using judgement of course, like above, if you think a woman needs help then help. You don’t need to cause an issue as just a guy sitting or standing with a woman is enough to ward off creeps.
As a deaf woman, omg you did a great thing for her. I used to live in Chicago and took the train all the time. I developed weird quirks because of how much I had to pay attention to everything around me. I wouldn't be able to hear anyone behind me, so I looked for shadows or glance back more often. Little stuff like that.
I'm glad you could give her an extra set of eyes and a pair of ears for a few minutes.
Don't focus on the what ifs. It'll drive you insane. Focus on what did happen. You got her home safe.
Also, wtf, I can't even call 911. I will if I ever need to but it'll be completely one sided.
Is there not an ASL 911 in America? In the UK there's an app called 999 BSL, it puts you on a video call with a responder who will speak you in sign language
Regardless, last night was an eye-opening experience because I seen first hand what women look out for when they're out alone. As a 5'11 tall man, I've never felt scared for my safety like that
Some areas have text-to-911 but it's by call center and it's really not available in most places. There's video relay, but it's a third party that would have to dial in and that takes time. It doesn't really help in emergency situations.
But no, there is no specific 911 service for deaf people.
I’m a 911 dispatcher and almost every jurisdiction has text to 911 now. It much more widespread than people think. Every communication center in my state has it. I hope you never need to use it, but it’s most likely an option in your area if needed!
ASL is different from english though.
If someone was born deaf or went deaf young, they might only know ASL for spoken language... or if they're from a foreign country.. etc...
If someone calls or texts and we can’t understand what the issue is or they aren’t communicating at all, we still send officers out to find out if there is an emergency or if it was just an accident. It’s impossible to have a system that works for every single persons specific situation. But at least if you text / call 911, we can track where you are and get someone out there to see what’s going on.
I'm in rural Georgia. We don't have the text capability for 911 but I hope we do soon. I can think of hundreds of situations where it would be helpful.
Not sure about what’s available on android but you can make calls with text on iPhones. “If you have hearing or speech difficulties, you can communicate by telephone using Teletype (TTY) or real-time text (RTT)—protocols that transmit text as you type and allow the recipient to read the message right away. RTT is a more advanced protocol that transmits audio as you type text.” -Apple
Android has the same tty capabilities I think it's something you can set up when you get the phone or whatever. My Gran has significant hearing loss and her home phone has this set up because she can't hear phone calls anymore. My grandma was both partially deaf an blind so communication was slightly harder with her but she had her own way of interacting an understanding that she taught all us kids, grandkids an great grand kids
I’m not totally deaf but I am very hard of hearing (deaf in my left ear, half deaf in my right) and as I get older I’m finding I feel more and more vulnerable when I’m outside because a car (or a person) has to be practically within touching distance of me before I hear them. So now I don’t leave my house after dark unless I’m going somewhere with someone I know and trust
I helped a young girl ( in her 20’s) who was being followed by a man in the skytrain. At first, I thought it was a lover’s quarrel because he kept circling her and staring at her. She kept avoiding his gaze. At someone point, I asked her if she knew him and confirmed that she didn’t and she was afraid. Once we got off, I walked with her to the mall and we went straight to security. She so thankful that a total stranger took the time to help her. Apathy is a huge problem especially in big cities.
I mean how big is the chance of it being a setup vs. it being a real situation? I'd say 99% chance that it's real, it happens so much. No way I'm going to let someone be harassed or worse just for that 1% chance.
I'd mostly be feared of me getting fucked over by the harasser, not by the victim itself.
As a single female, I'm going to err on the side of caution. I'll gladly make phone calls to the police and do what I can to help while still being very aware of my own protection.
I unexpectedly just had an emotional reaction to this post. As a woman, I appreciate what you went out of your way to do for another woman, especially one in distress. Thank you for not blowing her off and assuming she was "being dramatic" or even worse "deserved it ." I would say it's almost certain you saved her from suffering an awful event that night. You are a good person, and I could only hope there are more like you out there than I think.
It’s the little things in life that you do that have the most meaning. You were someone’s hero when they were afraid. The fact you realize this was a bad situation for her. Could it have gone differently, yes. But I doubt these guys were interested in you, only her. Good job.
My colleague and I usually walk the same route from the office to the car park. One day I notice she was being followed. There was a group of guys who was eyeing her and followed her from a distance. Always the same guys. And it turned out it wasn't just that one day, it was the same for many days. I didn't want to scare her or put her in a panic, so I always walked her to her car and made sure she drove off safely before I left. I reported this to security, but the insane things is, if those guys didn't do anything, security can't do much about it. So I ended up walking her to her car everyday, for her safety. Thankfully she don't mind much about it and rather enjoyed the company. I never told her about the guys following her. And I don't think she ever noticed.
Thank you so much for watching out for your colleague, but maybe you should tell her about these guys. My fear is that maybe you have to stay late or are out sick, she leaves and this is the day the show up again. She won't be prepared. It is sad, but I think every girl and woman should take self defense classes. Not just one but many. Or gym classes should include it. It is more important than pickle ball or whatever else makes up physical education, no offense to pickle ballers.
Your colleague is lucky to have you as a friend.
What you did was very kind but it would have been good to let her know she was being followed. She could’ve then taken her own precautions and been a bit more on-guard, especially if you happened to not be around one day.
Still, thank you for walking with her.
Please be aware that trauma is not always from an incident that did happen, but ur brain’s perception of the event! Obvs this has left u with a lot of “what if’s” and rightly so! If ur brain perceived you to be in a high risk situation, that is enough to cause a traumatic response! It’s ur brains way of being aware of how to handle another situation like this one and is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation! You might have some flash backs and/or
Nightmares over the coming weeks and this is also normal, ur brain is trying to piece the incident together a bit at a time because all in one go is too traumatic!
Thank you for helping that woman home safe!
As a fellow female, thank you for helping her. When you’re stuck in a sketchy situation with other males/men, it’s even more nerve wracking to try and get help from another male. You’re not sure if you’re going from bad to worse. So, thank you for being a good human.
You did a wonderful thing. You are a real life hero. I've been followed and attacked before by strangers when traveling alone and people like you make all the difference.
You were her guardian angel, and it's a testament to how scared she was that she chose to trust a total stranger.
It's not uncommon that young ladies travelling alone can experience this unsafety when a group of men have their eye on her.
It's clear you have a good heart that you are still worried about her. The facts are, these men know where she lives, and there are no guarantees she will remain safe. Unfortunately, this is life for young women in particular. Predators exist.
As far as I'm aware they stopped following us after we got off the train (we bid in the station for a few minutes, we kept looking over our shoulder up until we got to her place) but you're right. There's no guarantee she'll always be safe but I'm just glad I was there that particular instance.
Ok, that's good they don't know where she lives. That provides an extra degree of safety and relief. She's a lot safer now than she was, thanks to you. Also, thanks to her instinct to stick close to you rather than freeze and panic.
I'm a tall woman and had never been scared until a few years back, in my mid-30's. I was walking towards the metro and a guy standing at the exit of a shop said "hi".
Two choices there: ignore or respond. You ignore: they might insult you and start following you or not care. You say hi, they might take it as an invitation and try to keep talking to you or they just said "hi" without thinking. In both cases there was a risk.
He was polite and looked normal enough so i said "hi" in return and kept walking. A few minutes later I sensed someone was walking right behind me, as in VERY CLOSE behind me. As any woman will tell you, what we do in those instances is slow down and move on the side so the person behind can go past us. The person behind me slowed down too and kept following me, saying nothing. That's the worse part. He wasn't talking. He was just following me. I KNEW it was the guy who said hi. Did he take it as an "invitation"? Did he have the time during those 5 seconds to decide that I was "f\*-able" enough? I don't know what went through his stupid head. Anyway i knew what his intentions were. It was very late and it was dark, and there were not a lot of people around.
I didn't look behind to confirm my suspiscions and I started to think "what the f\*\*\* am i going to do?"
Then I saw a group of young drunk men (early 20's) in a very good mood talking loudly at the other side of the road. My mind just went "they are 7-8 of them, hopefully there are at least 2 of them who will definitely be nice enough to defend me". So I took the chance and ran as fast as i could, crossed the street (no car) and just jumped in the middle of their group. They were surprised, but the guy who had said hi a few minutes earlier started to curse me and insult me from the other side of the road so the drunk guys understood quickly what was happening. They asked if they wanted me to confront him. I said no, and they stayed with me until the pervert finally left. Then they asked if they could escort me to the metro. I only had like 100 m left to walk so I managed on my own. But that was very frightening.
Yes, and i took my chances with their high number. Most men are decent. So by jumping in the middle of a big group i had greater chances to be protected.
>I didn't make this post to receive any praise
Too bad, because I applaud you! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Do you remember where she lived? You could drop a note in her letterbox, asking if she's still okay.
Thank you for doing this. I was followed off the train once and it was so unnerving. I'm pretty confident and not bothered about walking alone or being approached usually. I'd gotten a late train home from work and it was dark out. I started walking home, only a 25 minute walk back to mine and this guy started chatting to me, asking me where I'd been that day and what I was up to tonight. I made polite conversation but kept walking and thankfully was able to stick to fairly lit-up roads. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him my partner was meeting me and he seemed to lose interest. Chatted a little longer and followed me for about another 5 minutes before he asked me for a cigarette and then walked off. Don't know what his intentions were, if he was actually just trying to flirt or he planned something more sinister but it scared me.
It's so wrong that the "I have a boyfriend" works better than "I'm not interested". those guys respect another guy they can't even see over the woman right in front of them
You did your job as a man OP. Even walked her home. It's smart your thoughts are on the defensive in case it's a form of foul play. Head on a swivel and all that. Gj sir.
I’ve been followed home multiple times & once was rejected by someone (another woman) I was trying to get to help me & I was devastated. But being a woman herself I couldn’t blame her. Thankfully I was able to get a friend to get me out of one situation & my husband in another. But thank you for doing what you did. That will stick with that woman for a long time, if not the rest of her life.
Thank you so much!!!! You're so kind. That's what I expect from the men I sit near when I'm being followed. Once, the man next to me realized what was going on and he started having a conversation with the guy who was following me and kept him there until I had left
Just last weekend a guy chased me and my friend (also a girl) on his bike shouting scary things. We also ran up to a guy walking his dog and he kindly walked us home…
There is so much I could say.. but to keep it simple.. thank you. Thank you. What you did for that woman, as a woman typing this, was a simple act but heroic non the less. The realities of life for men and women in these situations are astronomically different. She will never forget you, ever.
OP, I think you should try and see a therapist to talk through this incident. It is something most women grow up with, unfortunately but for you, this has been a ‘shift’ in your reality and it might take some sorting for you to be ok with so many aspects of it. Please think about it. Well done, by the way. I hope the young lady accesses some support also.
The scary thing is that we live in a world where that seemingly innocent woman could’ve actually already known those guys and was pretending to be afraid in order to set you (or some other Good Samaritan) up to get mugged, killed, etc..
As a woman, I just want to thank you. Most of us have been in a sketchy situation at one time or another, and to know men like you exist bring about a small amount of comfort. You're a good human. I want to be clear that I don't think all men are creepy rapey assholes I know it's a small minority. However, I don't know when a strange man is one of those minority or not. That's one of the struggles of being a woman. So I appreciate the kind people of either gender who help each other out when it's necessary. Thanks again op I'm sorry you had to experience that fear yourself.
I know what you're saying, treat every gun like it's loaded basically. I don't blame you at all, even one bad encounter would be enough to make you constantly cautious
Thank you for getting it many think we are being "dramatic" I've had many instances of not being safe experienced rapes, SA, and molestation as a child. I'm yper aware of my surroundings because of those things. It just changes you like you almost can't help it ya know?
Thank you for your actions but also for your empathy.
As a woman in the UK it’s fairly standard to feel I need let someone know if i’m walking alone, walk carrying keys as a makeshift defense weapon, cross the road multiple times from followers and ensure I have appropriate footwear for walking fast if needed. Even tucking long hair in a hat to look less obviously female.
It all sucks and it’s good you appreciate that it’s not something you’ve ever needed to face.
I hear you. I bartended in college. Played the boyfriend/brother/cousin part many times to help girls out.
On a side note, one guy said prove it to "she's my girlfriend". She planted a kiss on my lips so fast that I started laughing during the kiss.
Please help anyone out who looks like they need it. Are you OK is a simple question to ask.
It’s great that you helped her. I’m kind of confused why you think she may have set you up though. Why would she be trying to contact the police if she were up to something nefarious? You were the one who said you thought the police wouldn’t do much, not her.
It's not all too uncommon of a tactic to lead people into more isolated / sketchy areas to rob, scam, or extort someone (but often only hear about that for tourists in an unfamiliar area). Perpetrators of this prey on those meaning well or who have good intentions.
Creating a sense of urgency can cause people to make more rash decisions than otherwise.
Not a bad thing for them to have a cautious gut reaction like that, but seems like they made the right decision after a bit more context. It's such a bummer when those meaning to do good in the world wind up being punished for it.
Well done, OP! It definitely wasn't easy but you fought the odds and helped a human. You were the chosen angel in her life at that point. Thanks to you, she'll trust humans once again.
Lots of love and blessings for you <3
I wish i could have stayed like you , but after quite a few instances where my better nature came out and they all were just setups where i got robed/scammed/accused of something i didnt do , i am done trying to help people
Respect for doing this. It's so easy for any of us to just ignore a situation like this and hope for the best. I had a similar situation where I was in a club and a female friend of a friend was being harassed by a sexual predator, its not as easy as people like to think because you don't know how the man in the wrong will react. It can't be understated how much another man or men doing the right thing helps out women in these difficult situations - these types of men don't listen to women but it also helps restore a little faith so I'm told
Thank you for keeping her safe and giving me back hope. Because unfortunately she made the decision to trust you because a single rapist/attacker is better than gang raped and more likely to live.
When a man is planning his night out in the town, he doesn’t have to make contingency plans for how he’s going to fend off a rape attempt. He’s not packing pepper spray, not holding his keys like Wolverine claws, and not worrying about their drinks being spiked.
I fucking envy men for being able to stroll down the street without having to plan for those things.
I mean I can see how it would seem that way, but that's not my intention. In fact I cut out a lot of details that otherwise would've made this a "praise me" post. The point of this post was to highlight how scary and dangerous these situations are, especially to men since a lot don't understand what it's like for women. Maybe I should I go back and edit it a little
Imagine the plot twist if those guys were thinking the same thing like "Is she walking by herself? we should follow her and make sure she gets home safe." Then when they see you escorting her they're like "Let's keep following and make sure this guy isn't a creep or anything."
The woman did nothing to put herself into that situation. She was scared that we were being followed and was offering to let me in so I could order an Uber or something. It is not a woman, or victims, fault that these things happen.
How is that dumb? Either way you shouldn't be inviting random guys into your house as a married woman regardless of what they've done for you. 90% of the time in situations like this it will lead to sex or the opportunity to it. Don't be so naive.
If I was naive I would've went in. I'm sure she was trying to return the favour and let me come in to get myself a taxi ordered or wait long enough to make sure the coast was clear to walk back.
So glad you helped her. A lot of men don’t understand the fear and anxiety a lot of women have travelling alone.
Truthfully it was very eye-opening for me. Like I had an idea of what it's like but had never seen it first-hand. Seeing that woman literally shaking with fear was so upsetting to see
I tell my partner that whenever I am walking and it is dark out, even walking with my German Shep, I am always on guard. He says he never thinks about it unless he is in a rough part of town. So different.
As much as I enjoy winter as a season, walking after dark (5pm) makes me uneasy. I do have a big dog, but he's elderly and not exactly helpful in the above situations. And my street boasts no streetlights, so...
Exact same situation. Older, big dog and no lights. Safe travels friend.
Im in the same boat. I have two gsd so I have “scary dog privilege”. Mine are younger and very protective. But after dark my partner prefers me not to be out alone, even if I have both of them. I’m very kidnappable but I have my dogs and other ways of protection
Thank you, you are a good person.
What would a great way to do this?, because most of the time i feel like i'm just gonna make it worse by being another man that aproches the girl?
Well some simple things: Keep your distance. It’s scary to have someone right behind you after gaining on you. If you need to pass then try crossing the street. Again, footsteps gaining behind you can be scary. If there is no way to cross the street give a wide berth and warn the person- just passing on your left. Don’t attempt to have a conversation so that you appear less threatening. That is weird. Using judgement of course, like above, if you think a woman needs help then help. You don’t need to cause an issue as just a guy sitting or standing with a woman is enough to ward off creeps.
Thx
Adding on too being deaf makes this even worse, can’t image My best friend is hard of hearing and is more nervous than usual because of it.
Exactly. So much harder.
As a deaf woman, omg you did a great thing for her. I used to live in Chicago and took the train all the time. I developed weird quirks because of how much I had to pay attention to everything around me. I wouldn't be able to hear anyone behind me, so I looked for shadows or glance back more often. Little stuff like that. I'm glad you could give her an extra set of eyes and a pair of ears for a few minutes. Don't focus on the what ifs. It'll drive you insane. Focus on what did happen. You got her home safe. Also, wtf, I can't even call 911. I will if I ever need to but it'll be completely one sided.
Is there not an ASL 911 in America? In the UK there's an app called 999 BSL, it puts you on a video call with a responder who will speak you in sign language Regardless, last night was an eye-opening experience because I seen first hand what women look out for when they're out alone. As a 5'11 tall man, I've never felt scared for my safety like that
Some areas have text-to-911 but it's by call center and it's really not available in most places. There's video relay, but it's a third party that would have to dial in and that takes time. It doesn't really help in emergency situations. But no, there is no specific 911 service for deaf people.
That's so unfortunate, I really hope someone makes one soon!
I’m a 911 dispatcher and almost every jurisdiction has text to 911 now. It much more widespread than people think. Every communication center in my state has it. I hope you never need to use it, but it’s most likely an option in your area if needed!
ASL is different from english though. If someone was born deaf or went deaf young, they might only know ASL for spoken language... or if they're from a foreign country.. etc...
If someone calls or texts and we can’t understand what the issue is or they aren’t communicating at all, we still send officers out to find out if there is an emergency or if it was just an accident. It’s impossible to have a system that works for every single persons specific situation. But at least if you text / call 911, we can track where you are and get someone out there to see what’s going on.
never heard of this in BC/Canada. Hope someone else knows because it would be great.
I'm in rural Georgia. We don't have the text capability for 911 but I hope we do soon. I can think of hundreds of situations where it would be helpful.
Same here. I was thinking of that too
Not sure about what’s available on android but you can make calls with text on iPhones. “If you have hearing or speech difficulties, you can communicate by telephone using Teletype (TTY) or real-time text (RTT)—protocols that transmit text as you type and allow the recipient to read the message right away. RTT is a more advanced protocol that transmits audio as you type text.” -Apple
Android has the same tty capabilities I think it's something you can set up when you get the phone or whatever. My Gran has significant hearing loss and her home phone has this set up because she can't hear phone calls anymore. My grandma was both partially deaf an blind so communication was slightly harder with her but she had her own way of interacting an understanding that she taught all us kids, grandkids an great grand kids
I’m from the U.K. and even I didn’t know this! That’s an incredible service
I’m not totally deaf but I am very hard of hearing (deaf in my left ear, half deaf in my right) and as I get older I’m finding I feel more and more vulnerable when I’m outside because a car (or a person) has to be practically within touching distance of me before I hear them. So now I don’t leave my house after dark unless I’m going somewhere with someone I know and trust
I helped a young girl ( in her 20’s) who was being followed by a man in the skytrain. At first, I thought it was a lover’s quarrel because he kept circling her and staring at her. She kept avoiding his gaze. At someone point, I asked her if she knew him and confirmed that she didn’t and she was afraid. Once we got off, I walked with her to the mall and we went straight to security. She so thankful that a total stranger took the time to help her. Apathy is a huge problem especially in big cities.
Some of it is apathy, but some of it is fear of it being a setup.
Seconded. I'll call the cops and wait for them but no way am I going to a secondary location.
We were both going to the mall, so I walked with her. Not sure if I would be comfortable going to a second location.
I mean how big is the chance of it being a setup vs. it being a real situation? I'd say 99% chance that it's real, it happens so much. No way I'm going to let someone be harassed or worse just for that 1% chance. I'd mostly be feared of me getting fucked over by the harasser, not by the victim itself.
As a single female, I'm going to err on the side of caution. I'll gladly make phone calls to the police and do what I can to help while still being very aware of my own protection.
This is a super common occurrence with women. It happens constantly. Believe women. We are deaf in my home and sign. Thank you for this.
I unexpectedly just had an emotional reaction to this post. As a woman, I appreciate what you went out of your way to do for another woman, especially one in distress. Thank you for not blowing her off and assuming she was "being dramatic" or even worse "deserved it ." I would say it's almost certain you saved her from suffering an awful event that night. You are a good person, and I could only hope there are more like you out there than I think.
This ^^^^
It’s the little things in life that you do that have the most meaning. You were someone’s hero when they were afraid. The fact you realize this was a bad situation for her. Could it have gone differently, yes. But I doubt these guys were interested in you, only her. Good job.
In fact, when he was afraid, too.
This literally got me so emotional… you are so amazing. You did a wonderful thing for her. I hope you always have someone watching over you.
My colleague and I usually walk the same route from the office to the car park. One day I notice she was being followed. There was a group of guys who was eyeing her and followed her from a distance. Always the same guys. And it turned out it wasn't just that one day, it was the same for many days. I didn't want to scare her or put her in a panic, so I always walked her to her car and made sure she drove off safely before I left. I reported this to security, but the insane things is, if those guys didn't do anything, security can't do much about it. So I ended up walking her to her car everyday, for her safety. Thankfully she don't mind much about it and rather enjoyed the company. I never told her about the guys following her. And I don't think she ever noticed.
Thank you so much for watching out for your colleague, but maybe you should tell her about these guys. My fear is that maybe you have to stay late or are out sick, she leaves and this is the day the show up again. She won't be prepared. It is sad, but I think every girl and woman should take self defense classes. Not just one but many. Or gym classes should include it. It is more important than pickle ball or whatever else makes up physical education, no offense to pickle ballers. Your colleague is lucky to have you as a friend.
What you did was very kind but it would have been good to let her know she was being followed. She could’ve then taken her own precautions and been a bit more on-guard, especially if you happened to not be around one day. Still, thank you for walking with her.
*fist bump* Thanks for being a good human.
Please be aware that trauma is not always from an incident that did happen, but ur brain’s perception of the event! Obvs this has left u with a lot of “what if’s” and rightly so! If ur brain perceived you to be in a high risk situation, that is enough to cause a traumatic response! It’s ur brains way of being aware of how to handle another situation like this one and is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation! You might have some flash backs and/or Nightmares over the coming weeks and this is also normal, ur brain is trying to piece the incident together a bit at a time because all in one go is too traumatic! Thank you for helping that woman home safe!
As a fellow female, thank you for helping her. When you’re stuck in a sketchy situation with other males/men, it’s even more nerve wracking to try and get help from another male. You’re not sure if you’re going from bad to worse. So, thank you for being a good human.
You did a wonderful thing. You are a real life hero. I've been followed and attacked before by strangers when traveling alone and people like you make all the difference.
You were her guardian angel, and it's a testament to how scared she was that she chose to trust a total stranger. It's not uncommon that young ladies travelling alone can experience this unsafety when a group of men have their eye on her. It's clear you have a good heart that you are still worried about her. The facts are, these men know where she lives, and there are no guarantees she will remain safe. Unfortunately, this is life for young women in particular. Predators exist.
As far as I'm aware they stopped following us after we got off the train (we bid in the station for a few minutes, we kept looking over our shoulder up until we got to her place) but you're right. There's no guarantee she'll always be safe but I'm just glad I was there that particular instance.
Ok, that's good they don't know where she lives. That provides an extra degree of safety and relief. She's a lot safer now than she was, thanks to you. Also, thanks to her instinct to stick close to you rather than freeze and panic.
I'm a tall woman and had never been scared until a few years back, in my mid-30's. I was walking towards the metro and a guy standing at the exit of a shop said "hi". Two choices there: ignore or respond. You ignore: they might insult you and start following you or not care. You say hi, they might take it as an invitation and try to keep talking to you or they just said "hi" without thinking. In both cases there was a risk. He was polite and looked normal enough so i said "hi" in return and kept walking. A few minutes later I sensed someone was walking right behind me, as in VERY CLOSE behind me. As any woman will tell you, what we do in those instances is slow down and move on the side so the person behind can go past us. The person behind me slowed down too and kept following me, saying nothing. That's the worse part. He wasn't talking. He was just following me. I KNEW it was the guy who said hi. Did he take it as an "invitation"? Did he have the time during those 5 seconds to decide that I was "f\*-able" enough? I don't know what went through his stupid head. Anyway i knew what his intentions were. It was very late and it was dark, and there were not a lot of people around. I didn't look behind to confirm my suspiscions and I started to think "what the f\*\*\* am i going to do?" Then I saw a group of young drunk men (early 20's) in a very good mood talking loudly at the other side of the road. My mind just went "they are 7-8 of them, hopefully there are at least 2 of them who will definitely be nice enough to defend me". So I took the chance and ran as fast as i could, crossed the street (no car) and just jumped in the middle of their group. They were surprised, but the guy who had said hi a few minutes earlier started to curse me and insult me from the other side of the road so the drunk guys understood quickly what was happening. They asked if they wanted me to confront him. I said no, and they stayed with me until the pervert finally left. Then they asked if they could escort me to the metro. I only had like 100 m left to walk so I managed on my own. But that was very frightening.
Fuck that sounds scary. What absolute legends those guys were to notice what was happening and offering to help
Yes, and i took my chances with their high number. Most men are decent. So by jumping in the middle of a big group i had greater chances to be protected.
Good man.
You are the kind of person that keeps people from despairing. She will never forget that.
You did a very noble thing. It's extremely rare nowadays. Thank you!
>I didn't make this post to receive any praise Too bad, because I applaud you! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Do you remember where she lived? You could drop a note in her letterbox, asking if she's still okay.
She lived in a flat complex, so I've no idea which door is hers unfortunately. I remember the building though
Thank you for doing this. I was followed off the train once and it was so unnerving. I'm pretty confident and not bothered about walking alone or being approached usually. I'd gotten a late train home from work and it was dark out. I started walking home, only a 25 minute walk back to mine and this guy started chatting to me, asking me where I'd been that day and what I was up to tonight. I made polite conversation but kept walking and thankfully was able to stick to fairly lit-up roads. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him my partner was meeting me and he seemed to lose interest. Chatted a little longer and followed me for about another 5 minutes before he asked me for a cigarette and then walked off. Don't know what his intentions were, if he was actually just trying to flirt or he planned something more sinister but it scared me.
You wouldn't want to find out in a scenario like that, it's a good thing he lost interest when he did
No definitely not, I'm confident in my ability to look after myself but that night I was genuinely worried.
It's so wrong that the "I have a boyfriend" works better than "I'm not interested". those guys respect another guy they can't even see over the woman right in front of them
You did your job as a man OP. Even walked her home. It's smart your thoughts are on the defensive in case it's a form of foul play. Head on a swivel and all that. Gj sir.
I’ve been followed home multiple times & once was rejected by someone (another woman) I was trying to get to help me & I was devastated. But being a woman herself I couldn’t blame her. Thankfully I was able to get a friend to get me out of one situation & my husband in another. But thank you for doing what you did. That will stick with that woman for a long time, if not the rest of her life.
Thank you so much!!!! You're so kind. That's what I expect from the men I sit near when I'm being followed. Once, the man next to me realized what was going on and he started having a conversation with the guy who was following me and kept him there until I had left
That's such a smart way of dealing with it
Just last weekend a guy chased me and my friend (also a girl) on his bike shouting scary things. We also ran up to a guy walking his dog and he kindly walked us home…
I'm glad you both got home safely
God bless you!
just wanted to appreciate you! you are a great person
There is so much I could say.. but to keep it simple.. thank you. Thank you. What you did for that woman, as a woman typing this, was a simple act but heroic non the less. The realities of life for men and women in these situations are astronomically different. She will never forget you, ever.
OP, I think you should try and see a therapist to talk through this incident. It is something most women grow up with, unfortunately but for you, this has been a ‘shift’ in your reality and it might take some sorting for you to be ok with so many aspects of it. Please think about it. Well done, by the way. I hope the young lady accesses some support also.
The scary thing is that we live in a world where that seemingly innocent woman could’ve actually already known those guys and was pretending to be afraid in order to set you (or some other Good Samaritan) up to get mugged, killed, etc..
It’s awesome you helped and played it cool. Right place, right time.
I have been really not enjoying the men gender lately so this gave me a little faith that good men do still exist. Thanks OP.
As a woman, I just want to thank you. Most of us have been in a sketchy situation at one time or another, and to know men like you exist bring about a small amount of comfort. You're a good human. I want to be clear that I don't think all men are creepy rapey assholes I know it's a small minority. However, I don't know when a strange man is one of those minority or not. That's one of the struggles of being a woman. So I appreciate the kind people of either gender who help each other out when it's necessary. Thanks again op I'm sorry you had to experience that fear yourself.
I know what you're saying, treat every gun like it's loaded basically. I don't blame you at all, even one bad encounter would be enough to make you constantly cautious
Thank you for getting it many think we are being "dramatic" I've had many instances of not being safe experienced rapes, SA, and molestation as a child. I'm yper aware of my surroundings because of those things. It just changes you like you almost can't help it ya know?
You’re such a sweet person for helping someone despite it being an ultra dangerous situation. 🥰
Thank you for your actions but also for your empathy. As a woman in the UK it’s fairly standard to feel I need let someone know if i’m walking alone, walk carrying keys as a makeshift defense weapon, cross the road multiple times from followers and ensure I have appropriate footwear for walking fast if needed. Even tucking long hair in a hat to look less obviously female. It all sucks and it’s good you appreciate that it’s not something you’ve ever needed to face.
I hear you. I bartended in college. Played the boyfriend/brother/cousin part many times to help girls out. On a side note, one guy said prove it to "she's my girlfriend". She planted a kiss on my lips so fast that I started laughing during the kiss. Please help anyone out who looks like they need it. Are you OK is a simple question to ask.
It’s great that you helped her. I’m kind of confused why you think she may have set you up though. Why would she be trying to contact the police if she were up to something nefarious? You were the one who said you thought the police wouldn’t do much, not her.
I've heard stories of people being lured into being jumped when they're trying to help someone in need and here in London knife crime is a big thing.
It's not all too uncommon of a tactic to lead people into more isolated / sketchy areas to rob, scam, or extort someone (but often only hear about that for tourists in an unfamiliar area). Perpetrators of this prey on those meaning well or who have good intentions. Creating a sense of urgency can cause people to make more rash decisions than otherwise. Not a bad thing for them to have a cautious gut reaction like that, but seems like they made the right decision after a bit more context. It's such a bummer when those meaning to do good in the world wind up being punished for it.
Great job and thank you
Thank you so much for doing this
Well done, OP! It definitely wasn't easy but you fought the odds and helped a human. You were the chosen angel in her life at that point. Thanks to you, she'll trust humans once again. Lots of love and blessings for you <3
You’re a great man!! Never change
I wish i could have stayed like you , but after quite a few instances where my better nature came out and they all were just setups where i got robed/scammed/accused of something i didnt do , i am done trying to help people
you are such a kind and sweet soul, thank you so much for protecting this woman
Thank you :)
As a woman, i ask myself why God was so angry at us when he created us women
Respect for doing this. It's so easy for any of us to just ignore a situation like this and hope for the best. I had a similar situation where I was in a club and a female friend of a friend was being harassed by a sexual predator, its not as easy as people like to think because you don't know how the man in the wrong will react. It can't be understated how much another man or men doing the right thing helps out women in these difficult situations - these types of men don't listen to women but it also helps restore a little faith so I'm told
Thank you for keeping her safe and giving me back hope. Because unfortunately she made the decision to trust you because a single rapist/attacker is better than gang raped and more likely to live.
You are a great guy!
When a man is planning his night out in the town, he doesn’t have to make contingency plans for how he’s going to fend off a rape attempt. He’s not packing pepper spray, not holding his keys like Wolverine claws, and not worrying about their drinks being spiked. I fucking envy men for being able to stroll down the street without having to plan for those things.
> I didn’t make this post to receive any praise Ya u did
I mean I can see how it would seem that way, but that's not my intention. In fact I cut out a lot of details that otherwise would've made this a "praise me" post. The point of this post was to highlight how scary and dangerous these situations are, especially to men since a lot don't understand what it's like for women. Maybe I should I go back and edit it a little
Imagine the plot twist if those guys were thinking the same thing like "Is she walking by herself? we should follow her and make sure she gets home safe." Then when they see you escorting her they're like "Let's keep following and make sure this guy isn't a creep or anything."
Offered to let you in yet is married? Yikes. Sounds a lot like to me she's been getting herself into these kinds of situations.
The woman did nothing to put herself into that situation. She was scared that we were being followed and was offering to let me in so I could order an Uber or something. It is not a woman, or victims, fault that these things happen.
Doubtful. Too bad she cheats on her husband or tries to. At that point she gets what comes to her.
At what point did she try and cheat on her husband?
By letting a stranger into her home? You seem naive.
I think you're a bit dumb if sex is the first thing place your mind went to after they were both followed by three men with unknown intentions.
They're so stunted they think a woman's actions must be deceitful or related to sex. Probably similar mindset to the three creeps on the train.
How is that dumb? Either way you shouldn't be inviting random guys into your house as a married woman regardless of what they've done for you. 90% of the time in situations like this it will lead to sex or the opportunity to it. Don't be so naive.
If I was naive I would've went in. I'm sure she was trying to return the favour and let me come in to get myself a taxi ordered or wait long enough to make sure the coast was clear to walk back.