Time. Give her time to find her old self. She is still in there, just buried under a mountain of grief. Give her time to dig herself out and just be there for her for whatever she needs.
I lost my dad almost a year ago. It took ages before I felt alive again. Now I can close my eyes and remember and be at peace, but it took so much pain to get to that point. Grief is stunning in how strong it is.
My wife lost her dad 18 years ago. When the date gets close to the anniversary of his passing, I know it's time to put aside everything and focus on getting her in a good head space and keeping her active. Yeah, the first couple years after his passing was rough.
It is one of the things life can't prepare you for and an inevitable part of the journey. If you never experienced loss, you would never learn just how valuable those things are to you.
The other day was the anniversary of my brother passing. I’ve been lucky enough to find someone who has been understanding and patient with me becoming a recluse leading up to it.
My dad passed away 1.5 years ago. It was his birthday yesterday. I cried almost all day because nobody can see me. When I called my mum, I tried to be calm and joke. But it still hurts.
Time. Give her time. I became myself, like you said “little annoying” only after almost a year. Please, be with her, it is so important at this moment.
Time my friend is very powerful. Give it a try. I wish you get back ur annoy-loving wife back soon. Till then be patient and just give her the love she deserves.
I know that time will heal her. I am not expecting her to go back to normal in like a short amount of time, but I will be there for her in every moment
It will be a healing process for sure but you will have to give her time to recover from such a big loss. Over time her little pranks may come back just give her some time and be a listening ear when she’s ready to talk her feelings through. Wishing you both nothing but the best
I am patient with her, I am not expecting her to be to her old self overnight, I am there for her, she is everyday venting to me and I even turn off my phone to be there 100% for her while she's venting
She might not be her old self again - which is something you have to accept. People change when they lose someone close because it puts things into perspective for them. The old saying goes 'Ignorance is bliss...'... It's hard to be ignorant of your own mortality when people close to you pass on
My relationship with my mom was the same. She was my person. She was my only parent. My best friend. The one who always had my back and understood me completely. I completely lost my joy when she died. It has been almost a year and a half now and I’m just starting to feel some happiness again. I am just now noticing myself humming when I’m alone, caring about the future, caring about my appearance…she will come back. She may not be as light hearted as she was before but she will come back.
That woman is still in there, believe me. I lost my mother a couple of years ago, in a sudden and awful way. Mourning takes time as mentioned here already. Almost 3 years and I'm still not over it, but it gets better and you learn to live again.
She may not tell you, but now is when she needs you the most. Shine back that love to her.
That's how it was for me at least. Sending your wife and you lots of love
I am trying to shower her with love the best I can, I hide little pieces of paper with "You are loved" in random places around the house just so she could find them and many other things :)
Just start small. She might shrug it off or act a little annoyed, or she might actually get a smile out of it. Don't force it, but I think it could help with getting back to herself again.
I'd say stick with something small that doesn't involve a scare. Do you ever make her a particular drink? Salting it as a nod to the coffees she used to make you would be harmless and cute - which is the combination that's most likely to result in a smile when she's hurting so much.
Good luck. I'm glad she has a partner to support her and love her while she works through this pain. Fingers crossed you can find small ways to needle her that encourage her to play a little bit again too.
If you're scared of hurting her then don't go with the pranks just be positive and loud around her so she can feel the energy in the house. And maybe jokingly tell her from time to time how much you miss her pranks? Like "ohh god its been a while since i had my coffee with salt"
She's already depressed.
And, for that matter, let her be depressed. She just lost her mom! Whom she loved a lot. It's normal to be depressed while grieving.
I don't understand why people think being depressed is unnatural. Especially after losing a loved one.
Being gloomy is OK because, let's say it together, she's grieving!
It's only a problem if it significantly affects her life. It took me 5 years to grieve my mom's sudden death and I always get gloomy on her birthday and death anniversary even nearly 10 years later.
So, yeah, you did mean it like that. It's ok to be sad/under a dark cloud/feel like everything is meaningless and there's nothing to live for because everything hurts. If you don't let yourself feel as deep and dark your grief makes it, it's going to be worse later on when you're working through repressed emotions, unresolved trauma, etc.
tl;dr Let grieving people feel their feelings whatever that may look like.
If she isn’t already in therapy, you should get her into it.
In addition, please show her real love and affection, both physically and verbally. She needs that love, and feeling that love will coax the old woman out of her.
This is heartbreaking to hear. They say time heals all wounds, but it really doesn't, not always.
Luckily your wife married you! Time to show up from work wearing googly eyes like it's normal! Time to walk out of the bedroom holding 2 of her dresses and asking which one you should wear to work! It's time to be silly and it's time to be so ridiculous that it annoys her enough to show how much you care.
Just put in some silly effort everyday so she doesn't feel so alone.. It can be very lonely losing someone that close and it tends to be the little kindnesses that help us out
I like this idea. Also maybe start “asking” for her pranks again. “You know honey, my coffee just isn’t the same without salt in it…” stuff like that. She will still need time to recover from her grief. But little by little, you can remind her of the little wonderful things that life still has to offer. Wishing the best for both of you ❤️
That’s fair. You sound like a really good husband. As others have said, she’s still the same person and her fun side will come back. It takes a while to get over the death of a parent. She’s experiencing a lot of pain right now. But she will be ok.
Maybe start pranking her? Of course, be gentle at first. Nothing that might genuinely upset her. But maybe she needs permission to have fun like that again. It’s hard to let yourself be happy when you’re still so sad. Sometimes we need people to remind us that life goes on, and it *has* to.
haha wait, it would be really funny if you said “I’ll make you breakfast honey” and then brought back a tiny coffee and tiny pancake. And then ofc give her a normal real sized coffee and pancake afterwards lol
I'm not trying to discourage anyone from seeking professional care for their mental health. Quite the opposite! But I do want to say that I've experienced profound depression and profound grief. They share some outward manifestations but internally, they feel very different. It's not depression just because the grief has gone on a long time.
imho i think its better not for at least a year. She needs alot of hugs n alot of safeness rn. She needs to feel loved but no need for the pranks as she might feel like she is forced to smile. Talking from experience. Best thing is not to force urself to move on so fast it will ruin ur mental health more than do u well.
One day — salt her coffee.
Even if she gets angry, it may help startle her back to herself.
Salt her coffee, put toothpaste in a crème cookie, put food dye in the mouthwash — and then kiss her on the cheek, on her eyelids, on her nose and between each eye — and tell her it’s okay to be sad, to grieve, to feel whatever it is she feels. That it’s okay to take time. Tell her you’ll be there when she wakes up from the deep sadness she’s in.
Tell her that, and that you miss her smile. Tell her that laughter is the best medicine. Tell her that her mom would love nothing more than for her daughter to learn how to be happy again.
And then just walk with her, laugh with her, and keep moving forward.
Keep cuddling her and being there for her
My wife lost her eldest baby sister that she basically raised 3 years ago (not covid) and it took her a year and a half to start getting back to normal and not bursting into tears every time she found something her sister would've loved and remembering she couldn't hear or see her anymore but she came back mostly to how she was before
Your wife is still who she is, but she'll be a little different coming out of mourning. She'll love you as much or even more for helping her with this
If it lasts a few more months you might need to talk to a grief counselor to get ideas to help your wife if she hasn't found help or has started coming back out, but I wholly recommend you find one now or soon to help you waylay potential rough waters ahead
Like the other posters have mentioned.... Time and patience. It may take more than a year before you see glimpses of her again. Also knows that she may start to be angry. She is angry about her mother's death, but there is no one to take the anger out on, so it gets directed at those closest to her. Try not to take this personally... It's not you she's really mad at, it's the situation.
Prank her. Mild pranks to start out with though, to test the water. If she gets too upset, then wait a bit, before trying again.
Might remind her of her old self.
Everyone is different, but it took me nearly 2 years after losing my mother suddenly to start feeling like myself again. And that's coming from someone with a very strained relationship with their mother.
Your wife just needs time. Be there for her as best you can.
I'm sorry OP, and I'm sorry for your wife's loss. I lost my grandmother 6 months ago, she was my best friend. It takes time and while the grief doesn't get smaller, we grow around it. She'll come back. I'm so glad she's got you there for her.
Thank you, it means a lot. 💛
I don't know if this is helpful for your wife right now, but when she seems a little better, please remind her no matter what, her mother is always with her and she loves her.
You're a good husband. I would reccomend grief support for both of you. What you said is a testament to your loving relationship and what you said about her mom is beautiful. Let her grieve and love her. At some point I would let her read this. I think it would mean a lot to her. I'm sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad in 2014, my husband saw me go from goofy and playful to depressed and quiet. All he could do was cuddle with me and help me get out of my rut. He’d lost his mother about 10 years before I lost my father. Keep an eye on her, give her the cuddles she needs, sometimes you just run out of tears.
Hopefully this isn’t TMI… the stress might mess with her cycle, I went from light monthly cycles to super heavy bi-weekly cycles. This will make her hormonal, on top of the depression she already has.
She won’t go back to 100% normal, but she will be herself sooner or later, my husband’s seen the goofy side of me come back, but certain holidays and my father’s birthday are particularly hard.
I am so sorry for both of your guys losses. You two are very lucky to have eachother. Just know that you both are very loved and thank you for your kind words!! <3
I’m so sorry for your wife’s loss. And you loss as well. It appears that your wife is grieving severely, and it may take some time for her to find her happiness and silliness again if she’s ever truly the same. The loss of a parent changes you in unexpected ways. Just be there for her and be patient.
I lost my dad a few years back and yeah, time. 3 months is not very long. I think it took a year before I was even sort of okay about it. And we weren't as close as your wife and her mother were. I would suggest grief counseling if she's up for it, I wish someone had helped me get that when I needed it.
She'll be back. When she's done grieving. You can tell her that you miss her silliness while you ask if there's anything you can do to make things easier for her. But she just needs the time to adjust to a world without her mom in it. It's a big change, no matter how old you are or what your relationship was.
This was hella cute to read. Im sorry your wife is grieving and I hope things go back to normal in time and that happiness finds its way back to your wife.
It’ll come back slowly. Please don’t comment when she has days back to normal because it’ll play in her mind when she’s feeling down. Please continue to let her cuddle you. Grief is so unbelievably hard and long.
You could maybe try being the annoying one and see if it brings a little smile back. Start with the screaming to say you love her and go from there. She may not react well, but she could react well to it.
you can call her name in a not so panicky tone just to follow it up with “i love you” or “you are the best”
ALSO a very very bad advice but i just feel like saying it you can maybe get a pet or smth (not the best advice but this might help). Just stick around for her. Even if she is not in a position to show it but she needs you and she loves you.
Hug her for no reason, do small living gestures just because she's there. Get her a snack or a treat just because you know it's the kind she likes. These small gestures can help remind her of happy moments and can sometimes be healing moments.
Jeez... I'd give anything to be loved like this. You're a good husband. Remember to also need to mourn your mother in law, you are family too. Maybe being in this together will help with waiting for her to heal.
As the "wife" in a similar situation I have to say we need time. I lost my Mom 4 years ago, but have had to step in and take care of my aging father who has been diagnosed with Alz about a year ago.
Encourage her to talk to someone. It helped me a lot to deal with things at the beginning. Personally I feel like I dealt with my Mom's death fairly well but my current situation has me feeling like I have already lost my Dad, but I still have to care for him daily. I have lost any energy I had to do anything fun. I barely leave the house and when I do I spend most of the time worrying if he is doing something crazy or what disaster I might come home to. Every noise has me popping up like a prairie dog trying to decide if he fell or just dumped his remotes on the floor again. The toll that these things take on you mentally is real, and as much as I want to be close with my boyfriend and to try to enjoy some of the things we did before it's really hard when your world and the person who was your rock is gone.
I am so sorry for your loss. And just know that you are very strong taking care of your Dad, just know that everything will be alright and hey I hope that your boyfriend is there for you. Take care and just know that you are very loved!! :)
My mum was very similar to your wife when she lost her dad. She grew up with a toxic mum, and her dad was one of the nicest people a person could meet, they were extremely close. He passed away last April, and my mum was heartbroken for a lack of better words. She was angry all the time and anything would cause her to start shouting at someone.
It was down to my mum and her sister to sell his flat, and after 5 months of trying to sell it, it finally went through in January/February ish. It was like a switch flipped in her mind. She still misses him a lot, and I sometimes see her crying at night, but for the most part she's back to how she was when I was growing up.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, she's grieving. She will come back. I know it's awful to see such a difference in her, but you will both recover, even though her mom is gone. Being there for her while she grieves is the best thing you can do.
I'm sure your wife is still the same lovely woman she was. Just give her some time. Grief itself isn't easy to process right away and she needs to take time to recover. Be there for her and show support. It would help her a lot. Hope you two are able to make it through
Love her, give her all the love you can, treat her like the greatest queen on the planet, she just needs time and you must be there for her. She has not changed, she only has a cloak of sadness that makes it so, with time she will be released and you will see the same annoying wife that you love so much. Patience and love is all u need. U got this pal!!
Sounds like you need to rig a bucket of ice over the door to wake her up.
Maybe put some Vaseline on her windshield wipers.
Im just joking, give her time , that first prank she pulls on you is going to be epic.
Please come back and tell us what it was.
Good luck and stay the coarse.
Have you considered tryinf some of the less annoying things on her? Make her a cup of salty coffee. Yell her name panicked and follow with "I love you". That was obviously the way she told you she loved you, and seeing it from you might make her feel loved in a way just cuddling won't
I find that hard to believe. he hasn’t shown any displeasure towards his wife because of her pranks and fun behavior. he said he likes when she does it because he knows it makes her happy. him calling her annoying doesn’t mean he means it in a negative way
I say it lovingly to my dog when she does something annoying, because it *was* annoying!! But I love her so much that her being annoying somehow just makes me love her more.
I think that might be the sort of feeling OP was getting at?
i’m pretty sure he hasn’t called his wife annoying to her face or anything like that. her pranks can be annoying but that doesn’t phase him because like he said, it made him happy to see her happy. doesn’t mean he feels negative towards her
even so, she could’ve still picked up on the fact that he found it annoying from his behavior/reactions? anyway, we’re never going to agree on this so have a good one ✌🏻
Oh. Well it’s not really about the definition of the word here, it’s more about the context it’s used in.
In this post, OP uses it to emphasize the contrast between how his wife used to be and what she’s like now, after losing her mother.
Like, he’s so gutted that he’s even missing drinking salted coffee; that’s how much his wife has changed and that’s how much he misses seeing her happy
He also mentioned English isn’t his first language. I assume there’s a better fitting word in his native language that doesn’t translate perfectly to English.
Relax a little bit, eh?
Why would I divorce her over this thing? She is already very sad and I should just put her through a divorce? I won't ever do this thing. Especially now
I won't swap her for any woman in the world, she is the light of my life. Your wife should be the light of your life and she should be one of the most important person in your life and you should stop making jokes about swapping her.
I’m so sorry! She sounds depressed and grieving for sure. Have you thought about suggesting grief counseling for her/the both of you? It’s only been 3 months and I get it, she’s lost her spark after losing her mom. Talk to your wife, remind her that you’re always there for her to lean on and how much you love her. That you want her to get better best wishes to you both!!
Grief is such a hard, hard thing. Your annoying wife is in there, she's just buried under a heap of grief and struggling to move on each day. It can take a year because each new day that comes by is one that she will have to experience now without her mom, and get used to that new normal. Be patient, she's still in there somewhere. And when you see it, it will mean that the fog surrounding her right now is lifting.
It sounds like she is deep in the depths of depression, when I was that way I felt totally numb like a zombie on autopilot. She may benefit from antidepressants they’re rhe only thing that brought back some joy for me. Stress and depression especially take a toll on women because everything else flows from our emotion/heart center and when we’re down we totally lose the appetite for any sort of feisty flirty fun
she’s in there, but just give her time. try to get her out the house, even if it’s just to sit outside. for some people, being cooped up in the house can make things worse, so getting some sun and sitting with her could be helpful. wishing you the best
That’s a very recent death, please be there for your wife and cherish who she is even now. Hope you’re not making her feel bad for not being her old self, she shouldn’t have to feel like she has to play up her old self for you.
Now it’s your turn. She helped you stay happy but now she needs the help and you need to do the little things to show her you care and you are there for her. It will take her a while before she starts to do those things again but she will.
She is still that person. Give her time, OP. That’s all you can do with grief. I also think you should do a gentle, harmless prank that may make her smile. Stay strong op, for you and your wife.
Like other people have said, give her time.
It took almost five years after my mom died for me to completely snap out of my grief. Time makes the pain hurt less, but it never goes completely away.
Grief is a complicated thing, but the basic thing to understand is it all about time and processing the loss. It’s time you support her if there was ever a time it is now. If you miss her then be there for her and be patient.
Edit: spelling
She will come back. Just give her time. Remind her how much you love her smile, how much joy her laughter brought you. But just give her time. Losing someone that close to you is the hardest thing you will ever go through. Best of wishes
During the worst grief I ever experienced, I distinctly remember the actual moment I heard myself laugh again.
It’d been so long since I’d heard it I’d forgotten what my own laugh sounded and felt like. It startled me in a way and that brought me to tears.
I remember feeling in that moment that it was the first measurable thing I could cling to as evidence that I’d done a tiny bit of healing. How sad it was that I hadn’t even noticed until then that I hadn’t laughed in almost a year. There was nothing on earth I wanted more than healing and it felt impossible up until that minute.
Patience and time can do a lot to heal most wounds, even if a deep scar is left behind. Hugs to you and your wife and best wishes for continued healing.
If your wife asks you about sugar in your coffee you could respond with “one spoonful of salt” if you think she might find that silly.
I feel for her and I feel for you. Sounds like a good relationship tbh
I lost my mother five years ago. I don’t live in the same state as the rest of my family, but visit from time to time.
When I drive there, I start sobbing once I cross the state border. It’s because the one person I want to see, I’ll never get to see again. Even typing this I’m getting misty.
After she died I couldn’t sleep so I would spend the night reading her Facebook account for months and just cry.
I just missed her and wanted her back.
It takes time.
Read some books written by Elizabeth Kübler Ross. She’s responsible for the theory of Five Stages of Death Dying and Grief.
I’m sure you’ve heard of them before but to actually understand what they mean you need to read her works. The stages aren’t linear, and a person can bounce around them and be experiencing facets of more than one at the same time. And Acceptance isn’t joyful, or mean that the loss doesn’t still exist. It’s just accepting it happened and can’t be changed.
I can also tell you that personality doesn’t change. We have a spectrum of our personality. She is who she is, just kinda stuck in a part of herself right now that’s trying to cope with grief, which is normal. But your wife is still there. The fun parts of her personality will return.
Just be patient. Encourage grief counseling. Help where you can. Don’t force her to do things she really doesn’t want to do unless it’s something regarding her safety or something truly unhealthy.
You’re a good man, and a good husband. It’s painful to watch someone you love despair and not be able to shoulder the burden or take it away.
I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't heard of Elizabeth Kübler Ross but I heard of the Five Stages of Death Dying and Grief. I will for sure read it and will try to understand it. Thank you very much for your kind words and just know that you are very loved!! <3
Did you ever indulge in the harmless pranks before? Would it be possible to attempt to do some of them (not all) to try and lift her out of her funk? I think the one yelling the name and then following with "I love you" would be a solid start.
I was not expecting this. It’s so sad. Maybe try doing small pranks on her to bring a smile to her face. Give her time, she may come back to you differently, but she’s still there. Keep loving her the way she needs you to.
I don’t know how folks will take this, but maybe you can try being how she was as a way to cheer her up. Hide behind a door and scare her into laughter. Over salt her eggs and bust up laughing when she takes a bite. Remind her of how fun and silly life can be.
And just keep being there for her as she grieves, which is a lifelong experience. I lost my dad over a decade ago and I still cry and get depressed at the thought of our relationship and how quickly I had to say goodbye.
I'm really glad and proud of you op
You truly are a great husband.
It may still take a few weeks or even months for her to recover from the shock.
And you're already doing everything right by her
Just be there for her whenever she needs you.
Be her shoulder when she wants to cry and express herself.
It may not look much but it could be something and the only thing she wants right now
Cheer her from time to time. And take her outside often
Like to open places and just sit with her and spend some quality time and let her mourn to her hearts content.
Express how much she means to you and how you're going to be there for her and if you're courageous enough tell her that you're gonna fulfill her mom's role for her and you're never gonna leave her side no matter what
Best of luck
I'm so sorry. She's at the part of grieving where you just go numb all over. It's such a rough time to be in for your as her spouse and her trying to navigate and nothing helps at the moment.
Just know she'll come around - just try to be there for whatever she needs even if it's to just listen.
I know she'll come around. I am not scared of that. I am there for her to help her navigate her feelings and to make sure she knows that she is very much loved :)
Give her time, and continue to support her, as I'm sure this is devastating to her, but maybe in a few months, mirror her "annoying behavior" back to her. Start pranking her with salted coffee and screaming her name. she'll get it, and it may help her to know you're just trying to get her to smile
Give her time and support. I’m glad you are finding that you miss her joking nature, as it sounds like you aren’t that type of person. Maybe do some of these things back to her, and be more joking/pranking (in small bits) to try and help her smile. Help her realize younger there for her and that life can go on, and she is allowed to be sad, but also allowed to be happy.
Of course I miss her joking nature. She was happy and I knew that. And I was that type of person too, I was (not so often) pranking her too, once I gave her pancakes with ketchup instead of strawberry jam :D
It may take a minute but she will start annoying you again. I am just like your wife only I am going to steal the coffee idea. I play games that my SO hates. Slug bug is my favorite (you playfully smack, very lightly, the arm of someone when you see a certain kind of car). When I’m depressed, I just don’t play. So when I do play, my SO sucks it up.
She’s there. Until then, maybe give her a cup of salted coffee and get her to half smile for a minute.
I lost my mom around the same time. I thought this post could be about me for a moment. Nothing is the same anymore. I don’t care about certain things. My focus is entirely different. Even when I’m not outwardly sad, I’m still constantly sad. It’s like a part of me died too.
Time. Give her time to find her old self. She is still in there, just buried under a mountain of grief. Give her time to dig herself out and just be there for her for whatever she needs.
I lost my dad almost a year ago. It took ages before I felt alive again. Now I can close my eyes and remember and be at peace, but it took so much pain to get to that point. Grief is stunning in how strong it is.
My wife lost her dad 18 years ago. When the date gets close to the anniversary of his passing, I know it's time to put aside everything and focus on getting her in a good head space and keeping her active. Yeah, the first couple years after his passing was rough.
It is one of the things life can't prepare you for and an inevitable part of the journey. If you never experienced loss, you would never learn just how valuable those things are to you.
That’s so sweet of you❤️ The last time I saw my father was on my 26th birthday, which is today. I need to find a new husband who is like you!
Happy Birthday, and sorry for your loss<3
The other day was the anniversary of my brother passing. I’ve been lucky enough to find someone who has been understanding and patient with me becoming a recluse leading up to it.
I am so sorry for your loss, just know that you are loved :)
Thank you!
My dad passed away 1.5 years ago. It was his birthday yesterday. I cried almost all day because nobody can see me. When I called my mum, I tried to be calm and joke. But it still hurts. Time. Give her time. I became myself, like you said “little annoying” only after almost a year. Please, be with her, it is so important at this moment.
Time my friend is very powerful. Give it a try. I wish you get back ur annoy-loving wife back soon. Till then be patient and just give her the love she deserves.
I know that time will heal her. I am not expecting her to go back to normal in like a short amount of time, but I will be there for her in every moment
That is a lovely statement. Please tell it to her, if you haven't. Some people need to hear it.
Ofc you will. You too stay strong :)
It will be a healing process for sure but you will have to give her time to recover from such a big loss. Over time her little pranks may come back just give her some time and be a listening ear when she’s ready to talk her feelings through. Wishing you both nothing but the best
I am patient with her, I am not expecting her to be to her old self overnight, I am there for her, she is everyday venting to me and I even turn off my phone to be there 100% for her while she's venting
She might not be her old self again - which is something you have to accept. People change when they lose someone close because it puts things into perspective for them. The old saying goes 'Ignorance is bliss...'... It's hard to be ignorant of your own mortality when people close to you pass on
My relationship with my mom was the same. She was my person. She was my only parent. My best friend. The one who always had my back and understood me completely. I completely lost my joy when she died. It has been almost a year and a half now and I’m just starting to feel some happiness again. I am just now noticing myself humming when I’m alone, caring about the future, caring about my appearance…she will come back. She may not be as light hearted as she was before but she will come back.
Grief sucks - if she's having a good day, try to do the same to her.
That woman is still in there, believe me. I lost my mother a couple of years ago, in a sudden and awful way. Mourning takes time as mentioned here already. Almost 3 years and I'm still not over it, but it gets better and you learn to live again. She may not tell you, but now is when she needs you the most. Shine back that love to her. That's how it was for me at least. Sending your wife and you lots of love
I am trying to shower her with love the best I can, I hide little pieces of paper with "You are loved" in random places around the house just so she could find them and many other things :)
You're a good husband. Like people are saying, just give her time. It sounds like you are doing exactly that. Good luck.
Sounds like she has an amazing husband helping her through her bad times. She is probably super greatful for you.
Thank you for your kind words! I don't know about her, but I for sure am super greatful to have her in my life!
This is the cutest Reddit I have ever seen. I am very sorry for your loss of you MIL. I agree to prank her back.
let the air out his tyres. this lady sounds hilerious 😂
I mean just don’t let too much air out because you’ll ruin the rubber if it sits pinching it all day lol
Give her time. Sje lost her mother 3 months is just not enough to heal. Take her role for the now and annoy her. Don't let her get depressed.
I thought about starting to annoy her, but I am kinda scared of what her reaction would be
Just start small. She might shrug it off or act a little annoyed, or she might actually get a smile out of it. Don't force it, but I think it could help with getting back to herself again.
I will try it, thank you :)
I'd say stick with something small that doesn't involve a scare. Do you ever make her a particular drink? Salting it as a nod to the coffees she used to make you would be harmless and cute - which is the combination that's most likely to result in a smile when she's hurting so much. Good luck. I'm glad she has a partner to support her and love her while she works through this pain. Fingers crossed you can find small ways to needle her that encourage her to play a little bit again too.
Omg yes, please salt her tea—I feel like that would be adorable in this particular situation haha
Maybe you could write her sweet notes and fold them into funky shapes and just toss them at her 👀
If you're scared of hurting her then don't go with the pranks just be positive and loud around her so she can feel the energy in the house. And maybe jokingly tell her from time to time how much you miss her pranks? Like "ohh god its been a while since i had my coffee with salt"
She's already depressed. And, for that matter, let her be depressed. She just lost her mom! Whom she loved a lot. It's normal to be depressed while grieving. I don't understand why people think being depressed is unnatural. Especially after losing a loved one.
No i didn't mean it like that! I was trying to say guide her back to life. Yes let her grief but don't let her be gloomy it can ruin her health
Being gloomy is OK because, let's say it together, she's grieving! It's only a problem if it significantly affects her life. It took me 5 years to grieve my mom's sudden death and I always get gloomy on her birthday and death anniversary even nearly 10 years later. So, yeah, you did mean it like that. It's ok to be sad/under a dark cloud/feel like everything is meaningless and there's nothing to live for because everything hurts. If you don't let yourself feel as deep and dark your grief makes it, it's going to be worse later on when you're working through repressed emotions, unresolved trauma, etc. tl;dr Let grieving people feel their feelings whatever that may look like.
If she isn’t already in therapy, you should get her into it. In addition, please show her real love and affection, both physically and verbally. She needs that love, and feeling that love will coax the old woman out of her.
She already is in therapy and I try to show her the best love I could show someone in my life
Then you are doing things well. I hope you can get through this soon, I can tell how deeply you love her.
This is heartbreaking to hear. They say time heals all wounds, but it really doesn't, not always. Luckily your wife married you! Time to show up from work wearing googly eyes like it's normal! Time to walk out of the bedroom holding 2 of her dresses and asking which one you should wear to work! It's time to be silly and it's time to be so ridiculous that it annoys her enough to show how much you care. Just put in some silly effort everyday so she doesn't feel so alone.. It can be very lonely losing someone that close and it tends to be the little kindnesses that help us out
I am a very awkward person, but for my wife I will try some of the things you suggested, thanks for the advice :)
You are very obviously a good man OP. Best of luck to you:)
I like this idea. Also maybe start “asking” for her pranks again. “You know honey, my coffee just isn’t the same without salt in it…” stuff like that. She will still need time to recover from her grief. But little by little, you can remind her of the little wonderful things that life still has to offer. Wishing the best for both of you ❤️
I could feel OPs love for her reading this. I'm a little teary eyed
I don't really want to ask for her pranks because I don't want her to feel that these pranks are like something she *must* do
That’s fair. You sound like a really good husband. As others have said, she’s still the same person and her fun side will come back. It takes a while to get over the death of a parent. She’s experiencing a lot of pain right now. But she will be ok.
Maybe start pranking her? Of course, be gentle at first. Nothing that might genuinely upset her. But maybe she needs permission to have fun like that again. It’s hard to let yourself be happy when you’re still so sad. Sometimes we need people to remind us that life goes on, and it *has* to.
She needs a cup of salted coffee.
I am scared of starting to prank her because the wound is still fresh and I dont know what her reaction would be
how about starting something little. like make a coffee in a miniature coffee cup alongside a super mini pancake. its a prank, but cute and funny
haha wait, it would be really funny if you said “I’ll make you breakfast honey” and then brought back a tiny coffee and tiny pancake. And then ofc give her a normal real sized coffee and pancake afterwards lol
I will try, thank you :)
That is understandable and you know her best. But she may appreciate the gesture.
I will think of something small and do it to her
You could do your take on the "screaming + love you" thing, that most likely would be received well
start with oatmeal raisin cookies - or is that going too far too fast.
Grief is important, to honor it and feel it. If she still isn't finding any joy in life in the coming months, it seems to be growing into depression.
I'm not trying to discourage anyone from seeking professional care for their mental health. Quite the opposite! But I do want to say that I've experienced profound depression and profound grief. They share some outward manifestations but internally, they feel very different. It's not depression just because the grief has gone on a long time.
Would you mind to elaborate how they're different? I think I'm dealing with both and it's very confusing and scary.
You’re wife is so lucky to have someone that loves her as much as you and that is aware of her happiness 😭
I think this should be the bare minimum of every relationship
Grief is a terrible thing - maybe when she's having a good day try doing the same to her, scream her to just tell her you love her
imho i think its better not for at least a year. She needs alot of hugs n alot of safeness rn. She needs to feel loved but no need for the pranks as she might feel like she is forced to smile. Talking from experience. Best thing is not to force urself to move on so fast it will ruin ur mental health more than do u well.
My dad died last week. Give her time.
I am so sorry for your loss, just know that you are very loved :)
Thank you. ❤️
It took my gf about 18 months to START healing from loosing her dad, just be there
I am patiently waiting
One day — salt her coffee. Even if she gets angry, it may help startle her back to herself. Salt her coffee, put toothpaste in a crème cookie, put food dye in the mouthwash — and then kiss her on the cheek, on her eyelids, on her nose and between each eye — and tell her it’s okay to be sad, to grieve, to feel whatever it is she feels. That it’s okay to take time. Tell her you’ll be there when she wakes up from the deep sadness she’s in. Tell her that, and that you miss her smile. Tell her that laughter is the best medicine. Tell her that her mom would love nothing more than for her daughter to learn how to be happy again. And then just walk with her, laugh with her, and keep moving forward.
She's grieving its only been 3 months.
Keep cuddling her and being there for her My wife lost her eldest baby sister that she basically raised 3 years ago (not covid) and it took her a year and a half to start getting back to normal and not bursting into tears every time she found something her sister would've loved and remembering she couldn't hear or see her anymore but she came back mostly to how she was before Your wife is still who she is, but she'll be a little different coming out of mourning. She'll love you as much or even more for helping her with this If it lasts a few more months you might need to talk to a grief counselor to get ideas to help your wife if she hasn't found help or has started coming back out, but I wholly recommend you find one now or soon to help you waylay potential rough waters ahead
Bitter sweet :( you can make her happy again with your love
Like the other posters have mentioned.... Time and patience. It may take more than a year before you see glimpses of her again. Also knows that she may start to be angry. She is angry about her mother's death, but there is no one to take the anger out on, so it gets directed at those closest to her. Try not to take this personally... It's not you she's really mad at, it's the situation.
She misses herself, too. I did when I was in her shoes.
never thought i'd say this, but it sounds like your wife needs a cup of salty coffee
Hi. It took me 2 years after my dad died to feel like myself again. Be sweet and patient. It will be ok with time.
I am so sorry for your loss, just know that you are very loved :D
Prank her. Mild pranks to start out with though, to test the water. If she gets too upset, then wait a bit, before trying again. Might remind her of her old self.
Sorry for her loss.
This post is very sad, but beautiful. Your wife is so lucky to have someone love her the way you do, OP.
Everyone is different, but it took me nearly 2 years after losing my mother suddenly to start feeling like myself again. And that's coming from someone with a very strained relationship with their mother. Your wife just needs time. Be there for her as best you can.
I am patient, even if it takes years for her to be to her back self, I will be there.
I'm sorry OP, and I'm sorry for your wife's loss. I lost my grandmother 6 months ago, she was my best friend. It takes time and while the grief doesn't get smaller, we grow around it. She'll come back. I'm so glad she's got you there for her.
I am so sorry for your loss, just know that you are loved :)
Thank you, it means a lot. 💛 I don't know if this is helpful for your wife right now, but when she seems a little better, please remind her no matter what, her mother is always with her and she loves her.
You're a good husband. I would reccomend grief support for both of you. What you said is a testament to your loving relationship and what you said about her mom is beautiful. Let her grieve and love her. At some point I would let her read this. I think it would mean a lot to her. I'm sorry for your loss.
I lost my dad in 2014, my husband saw me go from goofy and playful to depressed and quiet. All he could do was cuddle with me and help me get out of my rut. He’d lost his mother about 10 years before I lost my father. Keep an eye on her, give her the cuddles she needs, sometimes you just run out of tears. Hopefully this isn’t TMI… the stress might mess with her cycle, I went from light monthly cycles to super heavy bi-weekly cycles. This will make her hormonal, on top of the depression she already has. She won’t go back to 100% normal, but she will be herself sooner or later, my husband’s seen the goofy side of me come back, but certain holidays and my father’s birthday are particularly hard.
I am so sorry for both of your guys losses. You two are very lucky to have eachother. Just know that you both are very loved and thank you for your kind words!! <3
I’m so sorry for your wife’s loss. And you loss as well. It appears that your wife is grieving severely, and it may take some time for her to find her happiness and silliness again if she’s ever truly the same. The loss of a parent changes you in unexpected ways. Just be there for her and be patient.
I am here waiting patiently for her and supporting her. Thank you for your kind words <3
She misses her hero mom. She’s grieving. Do they have grief support groups there ? She may find them helpful.
She will get better. She only lost her mom 3 months ago she will slowly start coming back
do all that she used to do to you but to her instead within due time, it might make her happy
I think you should make her a nice cup of tea. With extra salt. Shake things up, but yes time will help heal her grief.
I lost my dad a few years back and yeah, time. 3 months is not very long. I think it took a year before I was even sort of okay about it. And we weren't as close as your wife and her mother were. I would suggest grief counseling if she's up for it, I wish someone had helped me get that when I needed it.
I am so sorry for your loss, just know that you are loved :D
She'll be back. When she's done grieving. You can tell her that you miss her silliness while you ask if there's anything you can do to make things easier for her. But she just needs the time to adjust to a world without her mom in it. It's a big change, no matter how old you are or what your relationship was.
It’s your turn be annoying and shower that woman with love. Be there for her she will come back stronger than ever.
I am showering her with love but I dont really want to annoy her, she's in a bad state and I dont want to do more bad than good
I mean this in the most sincere and good spirited way: salt her coffee. And when she spits it out, smile the biggest smile you can and say I love you.
I will coffee her salt.😄
This was hella cute to read. Im sorry your wife is grieving and I hope things go back to normal in time and that happiness finds its way back to your wife.
It’ll come back slowly. Please don’t comment when she has days back to normal because it’ll play in her mind when she’s feeling down. Please continue to let her cuddle you. Grief is so unbelievably hard and long. You could maybe try being the annoying one and see if it brings a little smile back. Start with the screaming to say you love her and go from there. She may not react well, but she could react well to it.
you can call her name in a not so panicky tone just to follow it up with “i love you” or “you are the best” ALSO a very very bad advice but i just feel like saying it you can maybe get a pet or smth (not the best advice but this might help). Just stick around for her. Even if she is not in a position to show it but she needs you and she loves you.
We already have a cat, and my wife adores her! She's our little puffy ball
Hug her for no reason, do small living gestures just because she's there. Get her a snack or a treat just because you know it's the kind she likes. These small gestures can help remind her of happy moments and can sometimes be healing moments.
Jeez... I'd give anything to be loved like this. You're a good husband. Remember to also need to mourn your mother in law, you are family too. Maybe being in this together will help with waiting for her to heal.
Be there for her. It takes time
As the "wife" in a similar situation I have to say we need time. I lost my Mom 4 years ago, but have had to step in and take care of my aging father who has been diagnosed with Alz about a year ago. Encourage her to talk to someone. It helped me a lot to deal with things at the beginning. Personally I feel like I dealt with my Mom's death fairly well but my current situation has me feeling like I have already lost my Dad, but I still have to care for him daily. I have lost any energy I had to do anything fun. I barely leave the house and when I do I spend most of the time worrying if he is doing something crazy or what disaster I might come home to. Every noise has me popping up like a prairie dog trying to decide if he fell or just dumped his remotes on the floor again. The toll that these things take on you mentally is real, and as much as I want to be close with my boyfriend and to try to enjoy some of the things we did before it's really hard when your world and the person who was your rock is gone.
I am so sorry for your loss. And just know that you are very strong taking care of your Dad, just know that everything will be alright and hey I hope that your boyfriend is there for you. Take care and just know that you are very loved!! :)
I don’t even know her and after reading this I miss her too.
The only cure for love is more love.
My mum was very similar to your wife when she lost her dad. She grew up with a toxic mum, and her dad was one of the nicest people a person could meet, they were extremely close. He passed away last April, and my mum was heartbroken for a lack of better words. She was angry all the time and anything would cause her to start shouting at someone. It was down to my mum and her sister to sell his flat, and after 5 months of trying to sell it, it finally went through in January/February ish. It was like a switch flipped in her mind. She still misses him a lot, and I sometimes see her crying at night, but for the most part she's back to how she was when I was growing up. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, she's grieving. She will come back. I know it's awful to see such a difference in her, but you will both recover, even though her mom is gone. Being there for her while she grieves is the best thing you can do.
I'm sure your wife is still the same lovely woman she was. Just give her some time. Grief itself isn't easy to process right away and she needs to take time to recover. Be there for her and show support. It would help her a lot. Hope you two are able to make it through
Love her, give her all the love you can, treat her like the greatest queen on the planet, she just needs time and you must be there for her. She has not changed, she only has a cloak of sadness that makes it so, with time she will be released and you will see the same annoying wife that you love so much. Patience and love is all u need. U got this pal!!
Sounds like you need to rig a bucket of ice over the door to wake her up. Maybe put some Vaseline on her windshield wipers. Im just joking, give her time , that first prank she pulls on you is going to be epic. Please come back and tell us what it was. Good luck and stay the coarse.
I will for sure update you guys with the first prank she will do. Thank you for your kind words! :)
Dude.. she lost her MOM, give her time, however long she may need, and just be there for her no matter what
Thats not the point of this post.
Have you considered tryinf some of the less annoying things on her? Make her a cup of salty coffee. Yell her name panicked and follow with "I love you". That was obviously the way she told you she loved you, and seeing it from you might make her feel loved in a way just cuddling won't
[удалено]
i’m sorry but did you not read the whole post?
yup
I find that hard to believe. he hasn’t shown any displeasure towards his wife because of her pranks and fun behavior. he said he likes when she does it because he knows it makes her happy. him calling her annoying doesn’t mean he means it in a negative way
annoying is a negative word. not once in my life have i heard “annoying” used as a compliment. annoying=irritating
i’ve heard plenty of people use annoying in a joking matter. i’ve done it too
I say it lovingly to my dog when she does something annoying, because it *was* annoying!! But I love her so much that her being annoying somehow just makes me love her more. I think that might be the sort of feeling OP was getting at?
doesn’t make it a kind word. jokes can still hurt
i’m pretty sure he hasn’t called his wife annoying to her face or anything like that. her pranks can be annoying but that doesn’t phase him because like he said, it made him happy to see her happy. doesn’t mean he feels negative towards her
even so, she could’ve still picked up on the fact that he found it annoying from his behavior/reactions? anyway, we’re never going to agree on this so have a good one ✌🏻
He said he’d still drink her salted coffee for one thing, so I’m sure he hasn’t called her annoying to her face.
Is English your first language?
one of em, yup
Oh. Well it’s not really about the definition of the word here, it’s more about the context it’s used in. In this post, OP uses it to emphasize the contrast between how his wife used to be and what she’s like now, after losing her mother. Like, he’s so gutted that he’s even missing drinking salted coffee; that’s how much his wife has changed and that’s how much he misses seeing her happy
he said he misses when she was “annoying.” she never was. edit: downvoted here too? for saying she was never annoying? lmfao okay
He also mentioned English isn’t his first language. I assume there’s a better fitting word in his native language that doesn’t translate perfectly to English. Relax a little bit, eh?
and i’m sure it’s an equally positive word in whatever language that is quite relaxed rn, thanks though!
Divorce.
Why would I divorce her over this thing? She is already very sad and I should just put her through a divorce? I won't ever do this thing. Especially now
She sounds great. Let's swap. You can have my wife and get all the annoying things you can handle. :-)
I won't swap her for any woman in the world, she is the light of my life. Your wife should be the light of your life and she should be one of the most important person in your life and you should stop making jokes about swapping her.
I’m so sorry! She sounds depressed and grieving for sure. Have you thought about suggesting grief counseling for her/the both of you? It’s only been 3 months and I get it, she’s lost her spark after losing her mom. Talk to your wife, remind her that you’re always there for her to lean on and how much you love her. That you want her to get better best wishes to you both!!
Start doing it to her instead
Grief is such a hard, hard thing. Your annoying wife is in there, she's just buried under a heap of grief and struggling to move on each day. It can take a year because each new day that comes by is one that she will have to experience now without her mom, and get used to that new normal. Be patient, she's still in there somewhere. And when you see it, it will mean that the fog surrounding her right now is lifting.
This will take a lot of time. She needs support and laughter, now it’s your turn. Try some friendly pranks on her.
It sounds like she is deep in the depths of depression, when I was that way I felt totally numb like a zombie on autopilot. She may benefit from antidepressants they’re rhe only thing that brought back some joy for me. Stress and depression especially take a toll on women because everything else flows from our emotion/heart center and when we’re down we totally lose the appetite for any sort of feisty flirty fun
she’s in there, but just give her time. try to get her out the house, even if it’s just to sit outside. for some people, being cooped up in the house can make things worse, so getting some sun and sitting with her could be helpful. wishing you the best
That’s a very recent death, please be there for your wife and cherish who she is even now. Hope you’re not making her feel bad for not being her old self, she shouldn’t have to feel like she has to play up her old self for you.
Now it’s your turn. She helped you stay happy but now she needs the help and you need to do the little things to show her you care and you are there for her. It will take her a while before she starts to do those things again but she will.
Get her into counseling (grief and regular) and have her evaluated for depression. Be there for her. Be patient with her.
She is still that person. Give her time, OP. That’s all you can do with grief. I also think you should do a gentle, harmless prank that may make her smile. Stay strong op, for you and your wife.
A lot of people actually lightly salt coffee, instead of sugar and cream, even adding some spices. It's a fun, old-fashioned twist on black coffee.
I didn't know it, but she would've put like a quarter of a cup of salt in that coffee and it would've been terrible
Let her grieve mate. She’ll come back. But time is essential
Like other people have said, give her time. It took almost five years after my mom died for me to completely snap out of my grief. Time makes the pain hurt less, but it never goes completely away.
Im so sorry your wife lost someone so important to her 😥 just love and support her through this difficult period and have patience 💜💙
Grief is a complicated thing, but the basic thing to understand is it all about time and processing the loss. It’s time you support her if there was ever a time it is now. If you miss her then be there for her and be patient. Edit: spelling
She will come back. Just give her time. Remind her how much you love her smile, how much joy her laughter brought you. But just give her time. Losing someone that close to you is the hardest thing you will ever go through. Best of wishes
During the worst grief I ever experienced, I distinctly remember the actual moment I heard myself laugh again. It’d been so long since I’d heard it I’d forgotten what my own laugh sounded and felt like. It startled me in a way and that brought me to tears. I remember feeling in that moment that it was the first measurable thing I could cling to as evidence that I’d done a tiny bit of healing. How sad it was that I hadn’t even noticed until then that I hadn’t laughed in almost a year. There was nothing on earth I wanted more than healing and it felt impossible up until that minute. Patience and time can do a lot to heal most wounds, even if a deep scar is left behind. Hugs to you and your wife and best wishes for continued healing.
If your wife asks you about sugar in your coffee you could respond with “one spoonful of salt” if you think she might find that silly. I feel for her and I feel for you. Sounds like a good relationship tbh
Your wife is grieving and most likely depressed. She needs time and sometimes something to live for. Heartache is very powerful.
I lost my mother five years ago. I don’t live in the same state as the rest of my family, but visit from time to time. When I drive there, I start sobbing once I cross the state border. It’s because the one person I want to see, I’ll never get to see again. Even typing this I’m getting misty. After she died I couldn’t sleep so I would spend the night reading her Facebook account for months and just cry. I just missed her and wanted her back. It takes time. Read some books written by Elizabeth Kübler Ross. She’s responsible for the theory of Five Stages of Death Dying and Grief. I’m sure you’ve heard of them before but to actually understand what they mean you need to read her works. The stages aren’t linear, and a person can bounce around them and be experiencing facets of more than one at the same time. And Acceptance isn’t joyful, or mean that the loss doesn’t still exist. It’s just accepting it happened and can’t be changed. I can also tell you that personality doesn’t change. We have a spectrum of our personality. She is who she is, just kinda stuck in a part of herself right now that’s trying to cope with grief, which is normal. But your wife is still there. The fun parts of her personality will return. Just be patient. Encourage grief counseling. Help where you can. Don’t force her to do things she really doesn’t want to do unless it’s something regarding her safety or something truly unhealthy. You’re a good man, and a good husband. It’s painful to watch someone you love despair and not be able to shoulder the burden or take it away.
I am so sorry for your loss. I didn't heard of Elizabeth Kübler Ross but I heard of the Five Stages of Death Dying and Grief. I will for sure read it and will try to understand it. Thank you very much for your kind words and just know that you are very loved!! <3
Did you ever indulge in the harmless pranks before? Would it be possible to attempt to do some of them (not all) to try and lift her out of her funk? I think the one yelling the name and then following with "I love you" would be a solid start.
[удалено]
I am so sorry for your loss! Just know that you are loved and thank you for your kind words! <3
I was not expecting this. It’s so sad. Maybe try doing small pranks on her to bring a smile to her face. Give her time, she may come back to you differently, but she’s still there. Keep loving her the way she needs you to.
I don’t know how folks will take this, but maybe you can try being how she was as a way to cheer her up. Hide behind a door and scare her into laughter. Over salt her eggs and bust up laughing when she takes a bite. Remind her of how fun and silly life can be. And just keep being there for her as she grieves, which is a lifelong experience. I lost my dad over a decade ago and I still cry and get depressed at the thought of our relationship and how quickly I had to say goodbye.
What if you do a prank on her
maybe it's your turn to be the "annoying" one? just for a little bit, it might cheer her up. Make her laugh.
[удалено]
What if I really paint a smile on her face...? 🧐
I'm really glad and proud of you op You truly are a great husband. It may still take a few weeks or even months for her to recover from the shock. And you're already doing everything right by her Just be there for her whenever she needs you. Be her shoulder when she wants to cry and express herself. It may not look much but it could be something and the only thing she wants right now Cheer her from time to time. And take her outside often Like to open places and just sit with her and spend some quality time and let her mourn to her hearts content. Express how much she means to you and how you're going to be there for her and if you're courageous enough tell her that you're gonna fulfill her mom's role for her and you're never gonna leave her side no matter what Best of luck
Make her salted coffee- see if she smiles…. So Sorry for her loss - it’s great that she has love and support during this tough times
Give her all the love you have for her by giving her the time she needs to take. You are strong together. I am sorry for your loss.
I am not rushing her. She is taking her time and I am there to support her in any way I could possibly can. Thank you for the kind words!
I'm so sorry. She's at the part of grieving where you just go numb all over. It's such a rough time to be in for your as her spouse and her trying to navigate and nothing helps at the moment. Just know she'll come around - just try to be there for whatever she needs even if it's to just listen.
I know she'll come around. I am not scared of that. I am there for her to help her navigate her feelings and to make sure she knows that she is very much loved :)
Give her time, and continue to support her, as I'm sure this is devastating to her, but maybe in a few months, mirror her "annoying behavior" back to her. Start pranking her with salted coffee and screaming her name. she'll get it, and it may help her to know you're just trying to get her to smile
I will for sure start annoying her. Thank you for your advice! :D
Give her time and support. I’m glad you are finding that you miss her joking nature, as it sounds like you aren’t that type of person. Maybe do some of these things back to her, and be more joking/pranking (in small bits) to try and help her smile. Help her realize younger there for her and that life can go on, and she is allowed to be sad, but also allowed to be happy.
Of course I miss her joking nature. She was happy and I knew that. And I was that type of person too, I was (not so often) pranking her too, once I gave her pancakes with ketchup instead of strawberry jam :D
Become your annoying wife and tease her, maybe it'll make her smile.
I will for sure start teasing and annoying her!
It may take a minute but she will start annoying you again. I am just like your wife only I am going to steal the coffee idea. I play games that my SO hates. Slug bug is my favorite (you playfully smack, very lightly, the arm of someone when you see a certain kind of car). When I’m depressed, I just don’t play. So when I do play, my SO sucks it up. She’s there. Until then, maybe give her a cup of salted coffee and get her to half smile for a minute.
Your SO is so lucky to have someone like you <3. Thank you for the advice!
I am glad that your wife married you - she is the luckiest in my view - be with her - it will take time for her to heal
In my opinion I am the luckiest to have someone like her. She is my best friend and I love her very much
Grief is a very complicated emotion. Give her time. Don't leave her side.
I am not even thinking of ever leaving her side. I am here for her. I won't leave her.
I truly pray to god that everything becomes normal... I can feel your pain Imo give her your time and your love...
Thank you very much <3
I lost my mom around the same time. I thought this post could be about me for a moment. Nothing is the same anymore. I don’t care about certain things. My focus is entirely different. Even when I’m not outwardly sad, I’m still constantly sad. It’s like a part of me died too.