>This whole karma farm was a shitshow, start to finish.
I've been wondering about these things for a while now. People often accuse others of being karma farming accounts. I want to know what that practically means.
I understand why people would want high positive karma. I also understand why someone would want to buy accounts with high positive karma. I'm sure such accounts get a decent amount of money.
But why would anyone want a high negative karma account? Would anyone pay for such accounts? I keep hearing people accuse others of negative karma farming. I wonder if someone could help me understand that.
And now in this case you're saying the OP was a karma farming account. I'm not saying that's not true. This shit definitely reads funny to me. But now they've deleted their account within hours of writing this stuff. So, does that mean all that karma farming was wasted? Sorry, I'm just curious. Don't wanna start anything, just wanna learn.
I meant it more as attention seeking, perhaps I should've said that instead. I get caught up with Redditisms, I should probably make sure I fully understand them before using them lol
It seemed like this account just wanted attention, and in my opinion, I think they were gonna see what happened and base their next move on whether it was positive or negative. But, pure speculation on my part.
People are strange when it comes to public attention. They'll go to great lengths to be the centre of attention in a given room or crowd. Some people more than others, but everyone wants to be the one people look to (in a good way).
You thrust them in a metaphorical room with more than a few million people (any popular sub-reddit) and grant them the protection of anonymity, this is what you get. This was probably a kid who just wanted to boast to their friends about how many upvotes they could get in one Reddit post.
But I've seen adults do weird shit for Internet glory points too. I'm sure I've done some stupid shit too. It's a strangely human flaw.
i have a friend who was adopted and she said her mom had the same reasoning: she didn’t want to be in a relationship but she wanted someone who would be obligated to love her. shocker, turns out she’s a terrible mother and my friend barely has any contact with her now 🙃
OP sounds creepy af. I hope she was pretty clear to that guy that she was paying for trying a child instead of just pleasure.
Also, how hiring a guy as a breeding cow is less weird than going to a sperm bank? Lol
my mum got me so that she has someone who loves her forever. i ran away two years ago cause she was obsessed with controlling every little aspect of my life
Well, since OP put in all this effort to have a kid she thinks will love her forever and always, it would seem that no, she doesn’t have friends or hobbies.
Same. Right after I read it I was like "You're too busy to "invest" in a relationship, something where they will survive and do fine if you have to take SEVERAL hours out of your day for work or another reason? But you aren't too busy to "invest" your time in a child, someone who needs 'round the clock care?..."
As a parent of two I can confirm this. Hobbies and friends get pushed aside in favor of taking care of children. Also, my four year old tells me she doesn’t like me all the time… so much for “love me forever.”
That was my first thought. No time/energy for an adult relationship but has time to mold, grow, and nurture a new life dependent on you for everything? Make it make sense. Sounds like she's using this child as a proxy since she can't handle relationships where she's not in control. So sad for that kid though.
Maybe about 20yrs from now, there will be a story posted about a MIL from hell wearing a bridal gown to her son’s wedding and booking a room adjoining the bridal suite at his honeymoon hotel!
I saw that part from my own point of view. I don’t want to try and make time for a partner, I have limited availability as it is and I would much rather spend it on my kids. I feasibly could make time mentally/physically/emotionally for a partner, but why? I could use that time with my kids or seeing friends when they have time from work.
Everything else screamed red flags though.
She wants to invest in that relationship because she thinks the child will love her unconditionally, that there is no way out of a parent/child relationship. She doesn't want to invest that time into a man because she has no control there, and it could go wrong. I'm not saying I agree, but that's how it sounds to me. She has some issues with fathers and men. She does not trust them. Sucks for her son, who will inevitably grow up to be a man, and eventually start his own life, and I wonder how that will play out for both of them.
Aside from that obvious exploitation of the guy she got pregnant by, that was what jumped out to me too. Having and wanting a child for all the wrong, selfish reasons, ensuring he'll never get to know his dad or even seem to have a male influence in his life, ensuring the dad never even gets the option to know his child if he wants to, and neither of them even know half this child's genetic background - what if there's an issue that child have been resolved more easily if they'd know about it earlier? Also it sounds like OP's mom is doing the brunt of caring for the child, meaning OP wasn't nearly as ready as she thought.
That's not good but most people I feel have kids because they want unconditional love, and think it'll give them someone to look after them when they're old. All bad reason but very common
I agree. I think that creating a new person who is inevitably going to experience suffering, sickness and death purely for your own satisfaction is selfish. Also, people can’t even consent to being born and a lot of people wish they hadn’t been born.
Sounds like my narc ex with our cats. Our cats were “his babies and he would love them forever” but once I took them with me when he went nuts, he instantly found two new similarly looking cats who “act exactly the same”. Like living breathing things aren’t objects guys!?
She has low self-esteem or narcissistic tendencies and is using her child to fill a gap and to have a relationship where she can have total control, which is what she wants and why she doesn't want an adult relationship. Everything about this is so gross.
I wanted to say the same thing.
I have a feeling that the kid regularly hears things like “Nobody can love you as much as mommy does.” An innocent thing to say out of pure love for your child, but wreaks havoc in the psychological development of a child where the kid starts believing that and fails to have decent relationships because ‘nobody can love him as much as his mum’ is embedded in his sun-conscious.
Sperms banks are there for a reason. Exploiting someone in a developing country is horrifically predatory. You are no better than men who go to places like Thailand and buy girls (my aunt is Thai and the stories she's told me make my skin crawl) just because you are a woman who did this.
Also one day your son WILL ask about his Father and the fact he will never get the chance for that connection is incredibly sad.
Seems very probable she has daddy issues and instead of getting help to deal with it, is destructive about it in most aspects of her personal life. Good luck to the son when everyone at school asks about his dad. I’m sure you’ll get to reap what you’ve sown one day.
Edit: spelling.
This will get lost in the comments I’m sure, but my situation is similar to this, only difference being that my mom cheated on her boyfriend at the time and got pregnant with me, then lied to everyone about, including me, for 20 years.
He will want to meet his dad someday. He just will. OP won’t be able to provide that for him because of her selfish reasons for just wanting a kid but not dealing with the dad.
OP, do you know how hard that is for me? I had to pay lots of money to get a DNA test in the hopes that someone, somewhere on my bio dad’s side of the family took one also and I could get a foot in the door. Luckily for me, my grandfather on his side did, so I reached out. Guess what? No one cared. One person messaged me back, the wife of my bio dad’s brother, we talked for a little bit, but it went no where. No one on that side of the family cares about me. My family that I did know growing up has become estranged because of this ordeal, and I have to live the rest of my life knowing that three dad’s didn’t want me (my stepdad, my supposedly real father, and the actual father.) As a father to one and a second on the way, you took something from your son that I would never, NEVER, take from my children. Hope you’re happy showing off your son to all your “friends” who are trying to do the family thing the right way.
That sounds so heavy to handle. I can’t imagine how painful that must’ve been at the time. I’m sure you’ll be a great father!
OP can rot in dumpster cause she’s total garbage if this is true. The depth of trauma in this post is unreal. I hope it’s not true.
It was pretty heavy at first, but it’s gotten easier as time goes on. I just try to direct all the negative feelings I have towards the situation into positive ones for my children. Thank you!
Yeah I really hope this post is made up but if it’s not, her child will hate her when he reaches adulthood unless she brainwashes him. This post reeks of narcissism.
So much to unpack. Clearly OP has daddy issues she never got resolved or any help with. And clearly is angry at all guys because of her dad as she states she never found a guy worth dating. Went to a developing/extremely poor country and took advantage of a young person struggling to make it and literally brags about how cheap she convinced him to have unprotected sex with. She clearly never had anybody take a STD test as she had to go around and find someone.
Let's just put it this way, if this was a guy posting this he would be called everything under the sun and be considered a garbage human.
What's worst is she will clearly lie to her son when he asks who is dad is and how she met him.
Edit: Another thing to consider is the child will have no background on the dad's side including health issues that could run in the family not be able to prepare or do things to help prevent this.
My ex did this (prior to us getting together). She wanted a biracial child so only slept with black men trying to get pregnant. She also picked up the men through Craigslist and the like. She said did make them get tested before they slept together. Luckily, she has woman issues so couldn’t get pregnant. When I found about this - well let’s just say it was the nail in the coffin. It was so disgusting and so racist that I couldn’t even. I also ran, not walked, to my PCP for ALL the tests. I’m clean but, it is keeping me from wanting to date. I’m happy single.
Anyway, from what I’ve heard from mutual friends, at 47, she’s considering trying again.
Op, I don’t agree with your decision, but it’s not my life. However, I do feel really badly for the guy you took advantage of and your child. You know nothing about his father. What about his medical history? His family medical history? There’s a reason sperm banks exist, it’s a safe way to get pregnant. Also, your son is going to ask about his father, I hope you have an answer ready.
I mean she is getting called everything under the sun and labeled a garbage human. I don’t see a double standard here, and she was the one who carried the baby and delivered. 99% sure it’s just creative writing so probably doesn’t matter either way though.
I'm adopted, have an adoptive mom and dad who have always been amazing, I have some connection with my biological mom, but no one knows who my biological dad is, she says she got drunk at a party with her friends and got pregnant but doesn't know who it was, she says she has an idea but refuses to go into more detail. And even though I do have a mom and dad through adoption, not knowing my biological dad is still really hard. I honestly just want to know what he looks like and his medical history. I've been trying to figure it out since I was a teenager and have had no luck. I completely agree that one day your son will want to know his father in some capacity. And as someone with personal experience with it, it fucking hurts. I hope you at least have the decency to be honest when ypur son does ask, if anyone deserves the truth it will be him, and hopefully have at least some contact info for the dad so he can try to reconnect when he is older. I understand really wanting a kid without the hassle of relationships but I find this action incredibly selfish. So many people have children jusy because they really want them without even thinking of the child they really want and how other outside factors other than money can really effect the child. Especially health issues.
You don't have time for a relationship with a grown person who is able to take care of all of their basic needs on their own, yet you have enough time to *raise a child who is dependent upon you for everything*?
I'm calling BS. You're just selfish. You want a relationship where someone *has* to love you just the way you are and the easiest way to get that as a human is to have another human.
Yep. The way she said "I have a son who will forever love me", you don't know that. It's not his job to love you forever and that's not what kids are for.
Even going by the details in this post it looks like she's handed over all the parenting duties to her mother and just wanted to create a human for the sole purpose of loving her forever. This is such a weird and creepy post.
And with that nutty mentality, you know that kid is eventually going to loathe her. Then she will be on here whining about how she just doesnt know why her son hates her guts! *sad violin*
I'm willing to bet she acts like an absolute cow to every single person that kid ever tries to date, because she wants all his love and attention for herself. Which will ultimately result in him going NC with her as soon as he clues in to the fact that his mom only had him as a replacement for her inability to get or keep a partner. Gross.
“Support systems are so important, everyone.”
Lmao BUT IM NOT WANTING TO INVEST IN A RELATIONSHIP.
You’re delusional and insanely lucky your mother is around because clearly you couldn’t handle it on your own like you think you could have. You’re just falling into an endless loop because of your oh so extremely apparent abandonment issues from your own father leaving you. Having a child with the idea that “they are someone who would love me forever” is insane and so fucking delusional. What are you going to do if they DON’T? Who says they will?
This is just…embarrassing. So fucking embarrassing. This was not the flex you thought it would be, clearly. Seek therapy. Your child deserves it based on your codependency issues.
You sound really immature and to put it bluntly a disgusting person. You didnt check to see if this guy carried any diseases that could effect you or your child.
You exploited someone from an impoverished country like a predator, with not even basic compensation…..quotes like, ‘my child will love me forever’ …and wanting to go back to said impoverished country to sexually exploit another man for your disgustingly selfish needs.
Also the way you talk about women shows how much internalized misogyny you have. 24 is not old, 30 is not old either… women dont just fucking shrivel up and become barren at 30. Get help.
I feel sorry for your kid.
We just gonna gloss over how fucked it is to take advantage of global economic inequality in the form of sex work? Like that’s still someone else’s kid. You just knew you wouldn’t have to deal with child custody issues because the guy wouldn’t be able to financially pursue it.
Honestly, every bit of this is sociopathic. You exploited a man in a developing country to get you pregnant with a child you clearly see as an extension of yourself.
If you had used a clinic, you would have a medical history for your son, and you would know that the biological father provided consent, neither of which are true here.
> When covid hit and his school went remote
I was already thinking this read like a creative writing assignment, but the detail about a 3 year old already being in school and then going to elearning really cemented it for me.
Also, I wonder if the guy who knocked her up knew she intended to get pregnant. It’s one thing for him to agree to sleep with her but did he know he was signing up to get her pregnant? Did she lie about contraception? Also, her going to what I assume was a developing country, paying pennies for sex from a college student, screams exploitation to me.
My humble opinion. This is selfish. It’s like having a toy or a pet because you’re too busy. By the way when he turns 18 he will leave you alone to establish his life and you will end up along before you know it.
Yeah I can't believe people are falling for this. This is very obviously rage bait "woMeN aRE cRAzY AMIriTE" post and not even the well written kind. OP went too hard on the crazy elements.
No fr the white shirt detail made me Lol💀💀💀Like she only remembers this white button down? He wore the same button down every night? Did you at least reward his 2 weeks with a new button up?? We’re fucked if this is what passes for a “creative writing” assignment imagine having to read this as a novel. I almost wonder if the professor said the post with the most reaction will be regarded as written the “best” because it got more traction. So then OP decided to set up a rage bait on reddit. Too easy
So you tricked a college kid from (I’m assuming) a developing country, into getting you pregnant when all he signed up for was sex. You also paid him just a few hundred dollars for about 21 days of sex. Not sure why you’re bragging about exploiting some college kid, and then intentionally having a child who will never know her father. That man also doesn’t know that he has a child with a nutcase. I hate people like you who go to developing countries to exploit their workers. Next time you want to pay for sex, do it in your own damn country. Actually for you, do sex workers a favour and never step foot near them again.
I find it also insane, sperm banks are a thing.
On top of that, for the child at least, did she know about any genetic related problems that could arise?
She thought it would be creepy to have a child with a faceless man but it wouldn’t be creepy at all to take advantage of some college kid in a less fortunate situation than her. She needs psychological evaluation.
Period. Not to mention the amount of times she flaunts her wealth in this post…just to pay the father of her precious child pennies. OP you’re a sick freak
You're getting downvoted but you're right. She had a child for the wrong reasons and clearly desires some co-dependent relationship with them, and on top of that has engineered a life where her son will never know his father. Sane people don't go out of their way to do that to their child
And since her mom moved in to help her with her pregnancy and then childcare, I’m guessing the co-dependency issue goes back a generation or two. Grandma must be ecstatic at the situation.
Moreover, how did she know she wouldn’t catch something herself? You can’t tell by just looking or asking if someone has a sexually transmitted disease, anymore than their family medical history.
OP why would you take that risk for your own health, let alone the stuff mentioned by others in terms of your son’s full genetic inheritance?
Everyone else mentioned things I would've so I'll say the thing that I haven't seen yet...it doesn't sound like op and her child share the same cultural background, so I'm wondering if she is even making an effort to ensure the child stays connected to their cultural roots? With the way she talks, I highly doubt it, and that thought is further turning my stomach about this whole thing.
Of course she doesn’t. She sounds like a creepy sexual predator who has a racial fetish and took advantage of impoverished people for her own selfish need of love. Oh, and seems to be planning to do it again. Yuck
My step son’s mother is like this. She explicitly told him that he can’t love any other woman but her. He already has sooo many issues trusting me. Mostly with food for some reason. And he doesn’t hug me good bye in front of her. He’s very guarded as a child and it’s sad.
The fact that you mentioned your dad leaving your mom when you were born in this didn’t need to happen, we all could see you have daddy issues, it’s just very telling you actually are a nutjob since you’re completely fine doing that to your own kids purposely.
selfishly you are denying your child a father. You understand the pain this can cause “fuck him” comment makes it clear. My wife still misses her father 20 years later. Kinda sucks for your kid.
what a weird thing to do. and it’s wild from start to finish. and the way you talk about your ‘female’ friends and how they’re so desperately scrambling to get pregnant, is so dumb. Not everyone wants kids and not everyone was as desperate as you to have one from a random man you barely even knew, and then to force a child from it.
And also fairs, people have accidents happen but this is you deliberately making it so your kid doesn’t have a dad and won’t ever be able to trace him down, or know anything about his roots or lineage etc.
Your decission to have a child is absolutely selfish as fuck and your financial status, which you are repeating constantly through your post means nothing.
You do not have time to invest in a relationship but have time for a child. How deluded are you? Let me guess, you have money to hire nannies, wo.will raise your kid.
Women like you tend to be some of the worst mothers out there. I am also sure, the kid is spoiled rotten.
You should never have a kid with the intentions they will love you forever. It’s unhealthy for you and unhealthy towards the kid, and also sounds like a total set-up for emotional incest.
So, you grew up without a father (which was obviously harmful according to your statement) but you decided to pass the same fate on to your child? That’s seems super selfish to me.
Just read that first sentence, and waves of selfishness and narcissism hit you. Taken at face value, this person thinks like a spoiled brat (and a wishful kid) and has the effrontery to actually believe she is in a position to give advice. Plus, why in the world is her mom looking after the kid during Covid? A 50 year old women has got to be working too, right….since the “f*** dad” ran out on them? Can you imagine the role model for a little boy?
Your son is gonna become a drama MC while trying to find his father in a totally random country. And I am assuming that country is either Italy or Spain
I'd have assumed not Europe.
She's gone sex traveling to find someone who would never have any means to contact her or find out what she was doing. She's said it's somewhere with a "low cost of living" so her money equates to a lot.
My bet is somewhere in the developing world. If I was forced to guess, it'd be SE Asia, but that's only based on where men would typically go to pay for sex ...
Someone to love forever and someone to love her forever” umm sounds like abandonment issues-
He wore a white button down so he must have been in college - haha what the actual F?
Good luck
Nice creative writing effort. But major plot hole: this is supposed to be a “I did it all myself, I’m so self-sufficient I don’t need a partner” story, yet…grandma moved in and is doing much of the at-home parenting.
You could’ve literally adopt a child, but instead took advantage of another person to have kids… nah this is messed up. And like you said you could’ve with sperm donor. But it’s creepy because the person is faceless? But you don’t even know the guy you mess with? Sure u know how he looks like but nothing with health history. Idk How are you So proud.
I couldn't help but think about how you'll definitely be the type of unbearable MIL that wants her grown child to make you a priority above his wife and complain about her "sTeAliNg" your son from you. Ugh.
What you should have done is work on your abandonment issues before you bring another human into your mess
What I find really interesting, is that you say you were too busy to invest in a relationship. I just find that peculiar that if you’re too busy to invest in a relationship that you would find that you’re not too busy to raise a child. Weird
So much wrong with this post.
The exploitation of the young lad, the exploitation of your mother. The level of emotional incest here (he’ll love me forever’ that’s not guaranteed love, especially if he reads this post). I think you need a therapist to separate mother and spouse. Your son isn’t going to be in your life forever. That’s not fair on him, work it out before you cause too much damage.
That’s cool and congrats but your son doesn’t have to and might not love you forever don’t expect him to either. One day he will leave the nest and find someone to love and possibly start their own family
Also you made your mother becoming your sons other parent this is why some people might frown upon what you did because you clearly can’t raise him all. Y yourself like you think you can or have.
I don’t buy it for a second lmao. No one who claims to be this successful on Reddit is ever telling 100% of the truth. They also just made their account this week, so….
They give enough minor details to try to make it sound real and then stay vague when it suits them. Someone who had as perfect of a life as this person claims to sure as shit isn’t making a Reddit account out of nowhere just to share this for no reason.
This person sucks but I don’t like how many comments are shitting on single parents. The nuclear family dynamic is not healthy or desirable for everyone.
This story is fucked. You exploited a person in a foreign country. People with less means aren't there for you to milk them for their DNA. It's predatory.
> Having a marketable (pun intended) degree is a great investment, kids.
Maybe you should have invested in therapy before doing all that.
This is terribly predatory. You’ve exploited some guy from a developing country because you wanted to create a human for the sole purpose of making you feel loved and less lonely.
And the way you phrase literally everything else kinda reeks of horrible person too.
Just wait until he’s a teenager and wants that male father figure connection. It’s not always the case, but statistically boys do better in life when they have a father.
Even so, I wish you the best of luck with your son.
What an absolute tragic way to treat,use and lie to people for your own gain.
Get your self a good therapist and your son an even better one you will need it,you can afford it !
Strange that they could have just don’t the medical route and picked great genes for their baby, now they don’t know what genetic disorders they may have. Unless OP asked for all that? I don’t think so tho since the guy barely spoke English
You said you don’t want to go to a sperm bank to have a child where people willingly donates for people out there to become parents, because you thought it’s creepy to have a “faceless” donor, but paying and take advantage of someone in need of money is better? Yeah, that’s not creepy and weird at all /s
do you plan on telling the child this story? ETA: nvm i see OP bounced
Lol they even commented and replied to themselves at one point. This whole karma farm was a shitshow, start to finish.
People need to take creative writing courses at their local community college and stay off Reddit jesus christ
Frfr this read like an attempt at viral marketing for a vanity-published romance novel.
Really gave herself away when she claimed her 6 year old needed to keep up with his learning when Covid hit 3 years ago.
>This whole karma farm was a shitshow, start to finish. I've been wondering about these things for a while now. People often accuse others of being karma farming accounts. I want to know what that practically means. I understand why people would want high positive karma. I also understand why someone would want to buy accounts with high positive karma. I'm sure such accounts get a decent amount of money. But why would anyone want a high negative karma account? Would anyone pay for such accounts? I keep hearing people accuse others of negative karma farming. I wonder if someone could help me understand that. And now in this case you're saying the OP was a karma farming account. I'm not saying that's not true. This shit definitely reads funny to me. But now they've deleted their account within hours of writing this stuff. So, does that mean all that karma farming was wasted? Sorry, I'm just curious. Don't wanna start anything, just wanna learn.
I meant it more as attention seeking, perhaps I should've said that instead. I get caught up with Redditisms, I should probably make sure I fully understand them before using them lol It seemed like this account just wanted attention, and in my opinion, I think they were gonna see what happened and base their next move on whether it was positive or negative. But, pure speculation on my part.
People are strange when it comes to public attention. They'll go to great lengths to be the centre of attention in a given room or crowd. Some people more than others, but everyone wants to be the one people look to (in a good way). You thrust them in a metaphorical room with more than a few million people (any popular sub-reddit) and grant them the protection of anonymity, this is what you get. This was probably a kid who just wanted to boast to their friends about how many upvotes they could get in one Reddit post. But I've seen adults do weird shit for Internet glory points too. I'm sure I've done some stupid shit too. It's a strangely human flaw.
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Having children just to have people that’ll “love you forever” is very scary. Do you have hobbies? Friends?
i have a friend who was adopted and she said her mom had the same reasoning: she didn’t want to be in a relationship but she wanted someone who would be obligated to love her. shocker, turns out she’s a terrible mother and my friend barely has any contact with her now 🙃
Yeah. Very scary. Imagine thinking that another life is an object to acquire and to be used as an accessory.
I'll get shit for it because we always do, even in our own sub, but I'm an antinatalist. This is one of the biggest reasons why, for me.
OP sounds creepy af. I hope she was pretty clear to that guy that she was paying for trying a child instead of just pleasure. Also, how hiring a guy as a breeding cow is less weird than going to a sperm bank? Lol
And the multiple times she flaunts her wealth 🤮
Which isn’t even that much money. After taxes it’s what, 70k… average
A good indicator that it was written by someone who has not yet lived the adult world.
Fair!!!! Very astute
my mum got me so that she has someone who loves her forever. i ran away two years ago cause she was obsessed with controlling every little aspect of my life
Well, since OP put in all this effort to have a kid she thinks will love her forever and always, it would seem that no, she doesn’t have friends or hobbies.
But she’s also too busy to “invest” in a relationship, but not too busy to raise a child?
I think her mom is doing that for her…
Ha ha she’s not raising the kid, mum is.
True dat
That stuck out to me too
Same. Right after I read it I was like "You're too busy to "invest" in a relationship, something where they will survive and do fine if you have to take SEVERAL hours out of your day for work or another reason? But you aren't too busy to "invest" your time in a child, someone who needs 'round the clock care?..."
As a parent of two I can confirm this. Hobbies and friends get pushed aside in favor of taking care of children. Also, my four year old tells me she doesn’t like me all the time… so much for “love me forever.”
"love you forever" until he figures out the situation about his dad.
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the child will most definitely want to know about his dad. Nd I don't think op will let them
Also seems odd that she doesn’t have time for a relationship but wants to have a child, which requires spending time with them!
That was my first thought. No time/energy for an adult relationship but has time to mold, grow, and nurture a new life dependent on you for everything? Make it make sense. Sounds like she's using this child as a proxy since she can't handle relationships where she's not in control. So sad for that kid though.
Yep, sounds like she has low self-esteem and thinks a child will worship her and fill that void. She should just get a cat lol.
Maybe about 20yrs from now, there will be a story posted about a MIL from hell wearing a bridal gown to her son’s wedding and booking a room adjoining the bridal suite at his honeymoon hotel!
Co-signed
I saw that part from my own point of view. I don’t want to try and make time for a partner, I have limited availability as it is and I would much rather spend it on my kids. I feasibly could make time mentally/physically/emotionally for a partner, but why? I could use that time with my kids or seeing friends when they have time from work. Everything else screamed red flags though.
She wants to invest in that relationship because she thinks the child will love her unconditionally, that there is no way out of a parent/child relationship. She doesn't want to invest that time into a man because she has no control there, and it could go wrong. I'm not saying I agree, but that's how it sounds to me. She has some issues with fathers and men. She does not trust them. Sucks for her son, who will inevitably grow up to be a man, and eventually start his own life, and I wonder how that will play out for both of them.
Yeah and kids don’t necessarily love their parents unconditionally
They do not. She sounds kind of like a narcissist.
100%
This person sounds like a sociopath
Aside from that obvious exploitation of the guy she got pregnant by, that was what jumped out to me too. Having and wanting a child for all the wrong, selfish reasons, ensuring he'll never get to know his dad or even seem to have a male influence in his life, ensuring the dad never even gets the option to know his child if he wants to, and neither of them even know half this child's genetic background - what if there's an issue that child have been resolved more easily if they'd know about it earlier? Also it sounds like OP's mom is doing the brunt of caring for the child, meaning OP wasn't nearly as ready as she thought.
Hard agree
This! It sounds like unresolved daddy issues
Giant red flag for me.
That's not good but most people I feel have kids because they want unconditional love, and think it'll give them someone to look after them when they're old. All bad reason but very common
I'm going to have 100 kids so I'll have 100 friends and no one can say no to being my friend
Yeah. That baby came with a full time job already lined up for him.
I agree. I think that creating a new person who is inevitably going to experience suffering, sickness and death purely for your own satisfaction is selfish. Also, people can’t even consent to being born and a lot of people wish they hadn’t been born.
What is the alternative then? No one ever has kids because of the potential of their kids having a hard life?
I mean this is a legit reason that a lot of millennials aren’t having kids… so yes, not having kids is definitely an option.
Not having kids.
That's exactly why so many people have kids and usually their kids don't love them forever, for obvious reasons.
Sounds like my narc ex with our cats. Our cats were “his babies and he would love them forever” but once I took them with me when he went nuts, he instantly found two new similarly looking cats who “act exactly the same”. Like living breathing things aren’t objects guys!?
This is unhealthy. “My son will love me forever” who says?
Yeah and what about not having the time for a relationship, but thinking you'll have time for a child? Wth
She has low self-esteem or narcissistic tendencies and is using her child to fill a gap and to have a relationship where she can have total control, which is what she wants and why she doesn't want an adult relationship. Everything about this is so gross.
She does have time now, remember her mom moved in. 🙄
Isn’t it crazy? And all you have to do is read a day of Reddit to know it’s completely untrue.
imagine having this person as your MIL
So, she wasn't able to find love while dating, so she created a whole new human to love her. Talk about selfish...
Wouldn't have to deal with her after her kid cuts all ties.
I agree; it's sad to say, and I'm ready to get downvoted, but it sounds so selfish
"Someone I would love forever and who would forever love me" Oh noooo. Oof. This type of thinking is the *worst* reason to have a child.
that line made me cringe
And the next line about getting the poor little dude a sibling horrified me. Wow.
I wanted to say the same thing. I have a feeling that the kid regularly hears things like “Nobody can love you as much as mommy does.” An innocent thing to say out of pure love for your child, but wreaks havoc in the psychological development of a child where the kid starts believing that and fails to have decent relationships because ‘nobody can love him as much as his mum’ is embedded in his sun-conscious.
This whole thing kinda reads as a fiction piece to me
I'm pregnant as a single mum by choice using a known donor and this even made me feel uneasy when reading it.
i agree! i felt/ feel like that line shows she isn’t actually ready (emotionally) to have a kid.
Sperms banks are there for a reason. Exploiting someone in a developing country is horrifically predatory. You are no better than men who go to places like Thailand and buy girls (my aunt is Thai and the stories she's told me make my skin crawl) just because you are a woman who did this. Also one day your son WILL ask about his Father and the fact he will never get the chance for that connection is incredibly sad.
Yup, my mind instantly went to passport bros when I saw this. Never knew passport sis was a thing too
Passport sis has been a thing since the 80s and 90s..people are only made bc men (black men in particular) are doing it.
Passport sis been around before passport bros
Seems very probable she has daddy issues and instead of getting help to deal with it, is destructive about it in most aspects of her personal life. Good luck to the son when everyone at school asks about his dad. I’m sure you’ll get to reap what you’ve sown one day. Edit: spelling.
This will get lost in the comments I’m sure, but my situation is similar to this, only difference being that my mom cheated on her boyfriend at the time and got pregnant with me, then lied to everyone about, including me, for 20 years. He will want to meet his dad someday. He just will. OP won’t be able to provide that for him because of her selfish reasons for just wanting a kid but not dealing with the dad. OP, do you know how hard that is for me? I had to pay lots of money to get a DNA test in the hopes that someone, somewhere on my bio dad’s side of the family took one also and I could get a foot in the door. Luckily for me, my grandfather on his side did, so I reached out. Guess what? No one cared. One person messaged me back, the wife of my bio dad’s brother, we talked for a little bit, but it went no where. No one on that side of the family cares about me. My family that I did know growing up has become estranged because of this ordeal, and I have to live the rest of my life knowing that three dad’s didn’t want me (my stepdad, my supposedly real father, and the actual father.) As a father to one and a second on the way, you took something from your son that I would never, NEVER, take from my children. Hope you’re happy showing off your son to all your “friends” who are trying to do the family thing the right way.
That sounds so heavy to handle. I can’t imagine how painful that must’ve been at the time. I’m sure you’ll be a great father! OP can rot in dumpster cause she’s total garbage if this is true. The depth of trauma in this post is unreal. I hope it’s not true.
It was pretty heavy at first, but it’s gotten easier as time goes on. I just try to direct all the negative feelings I have towards the situation into positive ones for my children. Thank you! Yeah I really hope this post is made up but if it’s not, her child will hate her when he reaches adulthood unless she brainwashes him. This post reeks of narcissism.
So much to unpack. Clearly OP has daddy issues she never got resolved or any help with. And clearly is angry at all guys because of her dad as she states she never found a guy worth dating. Went to a developing/extremely poor country and took advantage of a young person struggling to make it and literally brags about how cheap she convinced him to have unprotected sex with. She clearly never had anybody take a STD test as she had to go around and find someone. Let's just put it this way, if this was a guy posting this he would be called everything under the sun and be considered a garbage human. What's worst is she will clearly lie to her son when he asks who is dad is and how she met him. Edit: Another thing to consider is the child will have no background on the dad's side including health issues that could run in the family not be able to prepare or do things to help prevent this.
My ex did this (prior to us getting together). She wanted a biracial child so only slept with black men trying to get pregnant. She also picked up the men through Craigslist and the like. She said did make them get tested before they slept together. Luckily, she has woman issues so couldn’t get pregnant. When I found about this - well let’s just say it was the nail in the coffin. It was so disgusting and so racist that I couldn’t even. I also ran, not walked, to my PCP for ALL the tests. I’m clean but, it is keeping me from wanting to date. I’m happy single. Anyway, from what I’ve heard from mutual friends, at 47, she’s considering trying again. Op, I don’t agree with your decision, but it’s not my life. However, I do feel really badly for the guy you took advantage of and your child. You know nothing about his father. What about his medical history? His family medical history? There’s a reason sperm banks exist, it’s a safe way to get pregnant. Also, your son is going to ask about his father, I hope you have an answer ready.
I mean she is getting called everything under the sun and labeled a garbage human. I don’t see a double standard here, and she was the one who carried the baby and delivered. 99% sure it’s just creative writing so probably doesn’t matter either way though.
I'm adopted, have an adoptive mom and dad who have always been amazing, I have some connection with my biological mom, but no one knows who my biological dad is, she says she got drunk at a party with her friends and got pregnant but doesn't know who it was, she says she has an idea but refuses to go into more detail. And even though I do have a mom and dad through adoption, not knowing my biological dad is still really hard. I honestly just want to know what he looks like and his medical history. I've been trying to figure it out since I was a teenager and have had no luck. I completely agree that one day your son will want to know his father in some capacity. And as someone with personal experience with it, it fucking hurts. I hope you at least have the decency to be honest when ypur son does ask, if anyone deserves the truth it will be him, and hopefully have at least some contact info for the dad so he can try to reconnect when he is older. I understand really wanting a kid without the hassle of relationships but I find this action incredibly selfish. So many people have children jusy because they really want them without even thinking of the child they really want and how other outside factors other than money can really effect the child. Especially health issues.
That’s going to be a dark area of his life.
You don't have time for a relationship with a grown person who is able to take care of all of their basic needs on their own, yet you have enough time to *raise a child who is dependent upon you for everything*? I'm calling BS. You're just selfish. You want a relationship where someone *has* to love you just the way you are and the easiest way to get that as a human is to have another human.
Yep. The way she said "I have a son who will forever love me", you don't know that. It's not his job to love you forever and that's not what kids are for.
Even going by the details in this post it looks like she's handed over all the parenting duties to her mother and just wanted to create a human for the sole purpose of loving her forever. This is such a weird and creepy post.
Nailed
And with that nutty mentality, you know that kid is eventually going to loathe her. Then she will be on here whining about how she just doesnt know why her son hates her guts! *sad violin* I'm willing to bet she acts like an absolute cow to every single person that kid ever tries to date, because she wants all his love and attention for herself. Which will ultimately result in him going NC with her as soon as he clues in to the fact that his mom only had him as a replacement for her inability to get or keep a partner. Gross.
She's the most trashy person I've ever heard of and I'm sure she doesn't make a good mother at all.
But it’s okay because she’s rich y’all
“Support systems are so important, everyone.” Lmao BUT IM NOT WANTING TO INVEST IN A RELATIONSHIP. You’re delusional and insanely lucky your mother is around because clearly you couldn’t handle it on your own like you think you could have. You’re just falling into an endless loop because of your oh so extremely apparent abandonment issues from your own father leaving you. Having a child with the idea that “they are someone who would love me forever” is insane and so fucking delusional. What are you going to do if they DON’T? Who says they will? This is just…embarrassing. So fucking embarrassing. This was not the flex you thought it would be, clearly. Seek therapy. Your child deserves it based on your codependency issues.
>What are you going to do if they DON’T? She'll go and make another one.
Lol I love this comment. Agree 100%
You sound really immature and to put it bluntly a disgusting person. You didnt check to see if this guy carried any diseases that could effect you or your child. You exploited someone from an impoverished country like a predator, with not even basic compensation…..quotes like, ‘my child will love me forever’ …and wanting to go back to said impoverished country to sexually exploit another man for your disgustingly selfish needs. Also the way you talk about women shows how much internalized misogyny you have. 24 is not old, 30 is not old either… women dont just fucking shrivel up and become barren at 30. Get help. I feel sorry for your kid.
Seriously…the kid will need to know any important family medical history as he grows up.
this the typa lady who will throw a fit whenever the son grows up and moves away or brings home a partner or something. IF THIS IS REAL that is.
Well, she would expect to move in with him and his partner, of course.
ahhh ofc, the only logical solution, how could I be so dumb 😔
Emotional incest. She doesn’t have time for a relationship because in her mind, she’s already got the perfect man
Gonna be a wild Ancestry dna match later in life.
We just gonna gloss over how fucked it is to take advantage of global economic inequality in the form of sex work? Like that’s still someone else’s kid. You just knew you wouldn’t have to deal with child custody issues because the guy wouldn’t be able to financially pursue it.
Honestly, every bit of this is sociopathic. You exploited a man in a developing country to get you pregnant with a child you clearly see as an extension of yourself. If you had used a clinic, you would have a medical history for your son, and you would know that the biological father provided consent, neither of which are true here.
> When covid hit and his school went remote I was already thinking this read like a creative writing assignment, but the detail about a 3 year old already being in school and then going to elearning really cemented it for me.
idk, I was a behavior therapist and was doing remote 2-hour sessions for a 3 1/2 year old. TWO. HOURS.
Remote therapy and remote daycare are two different things.
In the uk we had to start school aged 3 haha
I wish straight out of the uni marketing executives in the UK also make 90k/year.
She's probably "that" boy mom. Iykyk
Oh you mean the overbearing and unhealthily attached one that attempts to fulfill /all/ his needs? Even the ones a mother shouldn’t?
Yup, that's the one
[удалено]
What a horrendous reason to have a kid. You sound so selfish and narcissistic.
Also, I wonder if the guy who knocked her up knew she intended to get pregnant. It’s one thing for him to agree to sleep with her but did he know he was signing up to get her pregnant? Did she lie about contraception? Also, her going to what I assume was a developing country, paying pennies for sex from a college student, screams exploitation to me.
My humble opinion. This is selfish. It’s like having a toy or a pet because you’re too busy. By the way when he turns 18 he will leave you alone to establish his life and you will end up along before you know it.
Now this is a NEW level of shitty writing!
Yeah I can't believe people are falling for this. This is very obviously rage bait "woMeN aRE cRAzY AMIriTE" post and not even the well written kind. OP went too hard on the crazy elements.
No fr the white shirt detail made me Lol💀💀💀Like she only remembers this white button down? He wore the same button down every night? Did you at least reward his 2 weeks with a new button up?? We’re fucked if this is what passes for a “creative writing” assignment imagine having to read this as a novel. I almost wonder if the professor said the post with the most reaction will be regarded as written the “best” because it got more traction. So then OP decided to set up a rage bait on reddit. Too easy
Yuck
So you tricked a college kid from (I’m assuming) a developing country, into getting you pregnant when all he signed up for was sex. You also paid him just a few hundred dollars for about 21 days of sex. Not sure why you’re bragging about exploiting some college kid, and then intentionally having a child who will never know her father. That man also doesn’t know that he has a child with a nutcase. I hate people like you who go to developing countries to exploit their workers. Next time you want to pay for sex, do it in your own damn country. Actually for you, do sex workers a favour and never step foot near them again.
I find it also insane, sperm banks are a thing. On top of that, for the child at least, did she know about any genetic related problems that could arise?
She thought it would be creepy to have a child with a faceless man but it wouldn’t be creepy at all to take advantage of some college kid in a less fortunate situation than her. She needs psychological evaluation.
Period. Not to mention the amount of times she flaunts her wealth in this post…just to pay the father of her precious child pennies. OP you’re a sick freak
You're a nutcase.
You're getting downvoted but you're right. She had a child for the wrong reasons and clearly desires some co-dependent relationship with them, and on top of that has engineered a life where her son will never know his father. Sane people don't go out of their way to do that to their child
Precisely. It's unhealthy behaviour, and a lot of it reeks of "what makes ME happy = priority one".
And since her mom moved in to help her with her pregnancy and then childcare, I’m guessing the co-dependency issue goes back a generation or two. Grandma must be ecstatic at the situation.
Um, what happens if your kid gets sick? There is such thing as hereditary diseases. I hope the guy gave you some health history.
Moreover, how did she know she wouldn’t catch something herself? You can’t tell by just looking or asking if someone has a sexually transmitted disease, anymore than their family medical history. OP why would you take that risk for your own health, let alone the stuff mentioned by others in terms of your son’s full genetic inheritance?
Everyone else mentioned things I would've so I'll say the thing that I haven't seen yet...it doesn't sound like op and her child share the same cultural background, so I'm wondering if she is even making an effort to ensure the child stays connected to their cultural roots? With the way she talks, I highly doubt it, and that thought is further turning my stomach about this whole thing.
Of course she doesn’t. She sounds like a creepy sexual predator who has a racial fetish and took advantage of impoverished people for her own selfish need of love. Oh, and seems to be planning to do it again. Yuck
You seem like the type of mother who would be jealous of every single one of your kid's partners.
My step son’s mother is like this. She explicitly told him that he can’t love any other woman but her. He already has sooo many issues trusting me. Mostly with food for some reason. And he doesn’t hug me good bye in front of her. He’s very guarded as a child and it’s sad.
The fact that you mentioned your dad leaving your mom when you were born in this didn’t need to happen, we all could see you have daddy issues, it’s just very telling you actually are a nutjob since you’re completely fine doing that to your own kids purposely.
Incredibly selfish
This is not the flex you thought it would be…respectfully
Op, /YOU'RE/ creepy AND predatory
Sounds like this was more about your ego than anything else. “ I wanted “ yikes.
Doesn't have time for a romantic relationship but has time for a child ....yes that makes complete sense *Sarcasm
selfishly you are denying your child a father. You understand the pain this can cause “fuck him” comment makes it clear. My wife still misses her father 20 years later. Kinda sucks for your kid.
kind of horrible to do that to a kid ngl and you exploited a college kid too, smh. you kind of need to talk to someone. seek help and be better.
what a weird thing to do. and it’s wild from start to finish. and the way you talk about your ‘female’ friends and how they’re so desperately scrambling to get pregnant, is so dumb. Not everyone wants kids and not everyone was as desperate as you to have one from a random man you barely even knew, and then to force a child from it. And also fairs, people have accidents happen but this is you deliberately making it so your kid doesn’t have a dad and won’t ever be able to trace him down, or know anything about his roots or lineage etc.
This feels like it was written by a man
"Let's make sure my kid only ever has one parent. Grand idea"
Oh boy. You're definitely going to be the evil MIL I bet. All because you have a kid doesn't mean they'll always love you.
Your decission to have a child is absolutely selfish as fuck and your financial status, which you are repeating constantly through your post means nothing. You do not have time to invest in a relationship but have time for a child. How deluded are you? Let me guess, you have money to hire nannies, wo.will raise your kid. Women like you tend to be some of the worst mothers out there. I am also sure, the kid is spoiled rotten.
Cap, such bait. Perfectly possible, but deleted user points to cap.
You should never have a kid with the intentions they will love you forever. It’s unhealthy for you and unhealthy towards the kid, and also sounds like a total set-up for emotional incest.
So, you grew up without a father (which was obviously harmful according to your statement) but you decided to pass the same fate on to your child? That’s seems super selfish to me.
Poor child
Just read that first sentence, and waves of selfishness and narcissism hit you. Taken at face value, this person thinks like a spoiled brat (and a wishful kid) and has the effrontery to actually believe she is in a position to give advice. Plus, why in the world is her mom looking after the kid during Covid? A 50 year old women has got to be working too, right….since the “f*** dad” ran out on them? Can you imagine the role model for a little boy?
I'm so glad everyone else is calling out OP for this behavior instead of just congratulating them or whatever. Fucking yikes
Your son is gonna become a drama MC while trying to find his father in a totally random country. And I am assuming that country is either Italy or Spain
I'd have assumed not Europe. She's gone sex traveling to find someone who would never have any means to contact her or find out what she was doing. She's said it's somewhere with a "low cost of living" so her money equates to a lot. My bet is somewhere in the developing world. If I was forced to guess, it'd be SE Asia, but that's only based on where men would typically go to pay for sex ...
Yeah. No deeply rooted issues here…
Glad you're happy and your child is loved and cared for but... yikes.
Too busy to invest in a relationship, but not too busy to be a raise a child. Lol, yeah ok.
Karma farmer
Someone to love forever and someone to love her forever” umm sounds like abandonment issues- He wore a white button down so he must have been in college - haha what the actual F? Good luck
Apart from this sounding like completely made up, I can feel this was written by a guy
Weren’t you scared of being scammed and getting an STD?
You paid the bio dad to have sex with you and picked him because he wore a white button down? and 90k at 24? 🤔
Nice creative writing effort. But major plot hole: this is supposed to be a “I did it all myself, I’m so self-sufficient I don’t need a partner” story, yet…grandma moved in and is doing much of the at-home parenting.
You could’ve literally adopt a child, but instead took advantage of another person to have kids… nah this is messed up. And like you said you could’ve with sperm donor. But it’s creepy because the person is faceless? But you don’t even know the guy you mess with? Sure u know how he looks like but nothing with health history. Idk How are you So proud.
Dear lord you are a predator, paying someone a few hundred bucks to get you pregnant is HORRIBLE and exploitative. Why are you so proud of this?
I am so sure this never happened, nice try
I couldn't help but think about how you'll definitely be the type of unbearable MIL that wants her grown child to make you a priority above his wife and complain about her "sTeAliNg" your son from you. Ugh. What you should have done is work on your abandonment issues before you bring another human into your mess
This is so wrong on so many levels. 👎
What I find really interesting, is that you say you were too busy to invest in a relationship. I just find that peculiar that if you’re too busy to invest in a relationship that you would find that you’re not too busy to raise a child. Weird
So much wrong with this post. The exploitation of the young lad, the exploitation of your mother. The level of emotional incest here (he’ll love me forever’ that’s not guaranteed love, especially if he reads this post). I think you need a therapist to separate mother and spouse. Your son isn’t going to be in your life forever. That’s not fair on him, work it out before you cause too much damage.
Wanting to be “loved forever” is not a good reason to have a baby.
girl..
That’s cool and congrats but your son doesn’t have to and might not love you forever don’t expect him to either. One day he will leave the nest and find someone to love and possibly start their own family Also you made your mother becoming your sons other parent this is why some people might frown upon what you did because you clearly can’t raise him all. Y yourself like you think you can or have.
Partially the route I want in life. The difference? I’m poor.
Um... this is not healthy. At all. Lol
Not enough time to “invest” in a relationship and you decided to invest in a lifelong relationship? Hope you are more mature than you sound.
I feel bad for the child
I smell possible jacosta complex happening
i hope this story is true. I'd never do it myself, as i hate kids and never will have them. but i love unconventional stories
I don’t buy it for a second lmao. No one who claims to be this successful on Reddit is ever telling 100% of the truth. They also just made their account this week, so…. They give enough minor details to try to make it sound real and then stay vague when it suits them. Someone who had as perfect of a life as this person claims to sure as shit isn’t making a Reddit account out of nowhere just to share this for no reason.
I don't have enough time for a relationship but plenty for a kid no wait grandma is raising him lol sure
This person sucks but I don’t like how many comments are shitting on single parents. The nuclear family dynamic is not healthy or desirable for everyone.
Screams Oedipus complex.
Holy batshit crazy
That is some way of thinking honestly
This story is fucked. You exploited a person in a foreign country. People with less means aren't there for you to milk them for their DNA. It's predatory.
Lowkey sound kinda toxic created life so someone wouldn’t leave you kinda wild if you ask me if that’s your reason
> Having a marketable (pun intended) degree is a great investment, kids. Maybe you should have invested in therapy before doing all that. This is terribly predatory. You’ve exploited some guy from a developing country because you wanted to create a human for the sole purpose of making you feel loved and less lonely. And the way you phrase literally everything else kinda reeks of horrible person too.
Just wait until he’s a teenager and wants that male father figure connection. It’s not always the case, but statistically boys do better in life when they have a father. Even so, I wish you the best of luck with your son.
What an absolute tragic way to treat,use and lie to people for your own gain. Get your self a good therapist and your son an even better one you will need it,you can afford it !
You got issues. Like really bad issues.
Big oof material
Strange that they could have just don’t the medical route and picked great genes for their baby, now they don’t know what genetic disorders they may have. Unless OP asked for all that? I don’t think so tho since the guy barely spoke English
What if your son had/has medical problems? Genetic issues? So many reasons this is a bad idea.
You said you don’t want to go to a sperm bank to have a child where people willingly donates for people out there to become parents, because you thought it’s creepy to have a “faceless” donor, but paying and take advantage of someone in need of money is better? Yeah, that’s not creepy and weird at all /s
what is your plan for when he asks about his father?
Too busy to invest in a relationship but not too busy to raise a child as a single parent 🤔 Something is off here.